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1
00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:08,591
Wazzup?
2
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:12,470
Mr. Shannon!
Hello to you, good sir.
3
00:00:12,470 --> 00:00:13,805
Hello to you, good sir.
4
00:00:14,305 --> 00:00:17,308
Hello good sir to you
as well, good sir.
5
00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:19,310
- Hey, Adam.
- Hi, Pat.
6
00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:21,438
Now, would you care
to know who's got
7
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:22,939
the smallest dick in Hollywood?
8
00:00:22,939 --> 00:00:25,150
Oh, yes, kind sir, I very much would.
9
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:27,402
It's gotta be one of the kids
from Stranger Things, right?
10
00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:28,737
What?
11
00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,321
He's an Oscar-winning director.
12
00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:32,490
I'll send photos.
You'll need to zoom in.
13
00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:33,908
Great. You have a second?
14
00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:35,076
- Sure.
- Good.
15
00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:37,829
Dan, live situation. Pat is making
moves in the artist village.
16
00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:39,456
Repeat, fox in the chicken coop.
17
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:40,665
Okay, pal, listen up.
18
00:00:40,665 --> 00:00:42,125
Centurios 2 has a little problem.
19
00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:44,419
- Little plot hole.
- Oh, great.
20
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:46,588
I love it when other people's
films are in trouble.
21
00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,131
Oh, me too.
22
00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:50,759
It's fucking awesome. I know, I know.
23
00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:52,886
But sadly though, this one's
my responsibility.
24
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:54,763
Anyway, to fix the plot hole...
25
00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,181
- Bryson?
- I'll take it from here.
26
00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,891
They need a man
who can see into the future.
27
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,226
Or maybe one who causes earthquakes
28
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:02,645
and has slightly
above average strength, right?
29
00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:06,066
Hey, guys. What are we missing?
30
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,693
Anita, we're taking Peter
for a day of shooting. Hmm?
31
00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:09,903
Absolutely, Pat. Hundred percent.
32
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,780
- Whatever you need.
- Good. There's more.
33
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:13,823
Can I get a private word in two?
34
00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,159
Bryson, find me a space.
35
00:01:17,535 --> 00:01:18,578
What is happening?
36
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:20,288
Payback, Daniel. The reckoning.
37
00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:22,874
We are being punished
for Eric's sins.
38
00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:28,004
Oh, what a shame, number one.
39
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:32,509
Old man's off to the big leagues
for a day. Adios, cuntos.
40
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:36,346
Bye, Peter. Break a leg.
41
00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:39,224
He's such a good actor.
42
00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:42,435
As are you.
43
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,706
Okay, you got
your pound of flesh, Pat.
44
00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:04,791
- So, we square?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
45
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:07,627
Your director kamikazed himself
into our tentpole.
46
00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:09,546
I will take whatever the fuck I want.
47
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,131
Shane hates it when his movies fight.
48
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,924
Obviously, I'd like to shout at Eric
49
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,884
till my jaw pops, but sadly
Scott Rudin
50
00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:16,928
fucked it for all of us, so I can't.
51
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:18,304
Shane's not happy with you, Anita.
52
00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:21,266
I lost control of my director.
Whatever you need.
53
00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:23,560
There is one other thing.
Some product placement
54
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:24,894
I want you to include in your movie.
55
00:02:24,894 --> 00:02:26,938
Sure. What's the product? Rolex or--
56
00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:28,565
- Chinese farming machinery.
- Chinese farming machinery.
57
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:31,317
Left field.
That... Was not expecting that.
58
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:32,986
- Shane's under pressure.
- But thriving.
59
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,488
Domestic box office
is going down and down.
60
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:36,948
China's coming back.
61
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:39,826
But China wants a favor
to release our movies.
62
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:42,370
- A reach-around.
- A reach-around? Of China?
63
00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:44,748
That's a big old reach-around.
64
00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:46,666
It's a huge reach-around.
65
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:48,710
The Central Propaganda Committee
would like it known
66
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,795
their farming machinery
is the greatest in the world.
67
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,047
And I happen to agree with them.
68
00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,673
A hundred percent. Fuck John Deere.
69
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:56,009
Sure, but in terms of
how farming machinery
70
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:59,054
might sit in Tecto, a superhero
movie largely set in space--
71
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:01,473
Anita, I once got
flavored rubbers into a TV movie
72
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,683
about the Exxon Valdez oil spill.
73
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:05,352
- Wow.
- But now, I leave
74
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:06,603
the detail to the artists.
75
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,813
Leave it to the artists
to sell the tractors.
76
00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:11,983
Your movie, Anita...
it's on our shit list.
77
00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:13,735
Get me my tractor shot, or Peter
78
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,320
won't be the last thing
I fucking take.
79
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:16,446
- You got it?
- Copy.
80
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:19,240
Now, if you'll excuse me.
I have a flight to Cleveland.
81
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,785
They're letting me blow up a freeway.
82
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:24,579
Super cool.
83
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,418
Here is a brochure
of Chinese farming machinery.
84
00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:33,630
A multiverse, but of
Chinese farming machinery.
85
00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:47,560
Oh, Angela.
86
00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:51,106
Oh, Angela!
87
00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:54,776
Angela!
88
00:03:58,279 --> 00:04:00,073
Oh, Angela.
89
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,035
Angela!
90
00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:06,955
Jesus Christ.
91
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:08,415
And cut.
92
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,333
And respectfully, we've cut there.
93
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:13,378
Well, that's depressing.
94
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,381
Yeah, well, guess what? Between us...
95
00:04:17,132 --> 00:04:19,759
- Circumcision.
- What? Circumcision?
96
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,720
No, it's being cut.
The scene's a cut.
97
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,805
Why are we shooting something
that we're gonna cut?
98
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:25,390
Sugar cube for the donkey.
99
00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:27,517
Eric wants it, and he
is the "director."
100
00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:29,853
- What was that?
- What was what?
101
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:32,313
You said director in air quotes.
102
00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:34,941
- No, I didn't.
- Almost there. One more.
103
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,151
Eric, honestly, I think we got that.
104
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:38,194
Listen, this scene is
the beating heart of my movie.
105
00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:41,781
This is me, like a samurai, opening
my gut to tell the people.
106
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:43,158
Yeah. We're going again.
107
00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:45,035
- Sorry, sir, go on.
- Yeah, also last take...
108
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:46,703
fruit bowl was fuckity wank.
It won't work.
109
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:49,497
Stop fussing about the fucking
tangerines, Stephanie.
110
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,667
Super, super important
that we get this scene
111
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:53,835
absolutely perfect.
112
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,337
Right, Dan?
113
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:59,632
Have you heard what they call me
after the golf cart thing?
114
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:01,926
"The badass Wes Anderson."
115
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,763
I hope it doesn't stick.
Can you imagine?
116
00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:06,890
I wouldn't worry. I don't think
anyone's calling you that.
117
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,433
Maybe I like how it feels.
118
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,353
Swinging the dick around. Ding dong.
119
00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:12,937
Yeah, swing it around.
120
00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:15,440
Use it as a fork.
You can do what you want.
121
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,359
- I'd like to fire the sound man.
- Okay, you can't do that.
122
00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:19,069
He rolls his eyes at my scene.
123
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:20,695
Plus, he's wearing the indoor scarf.
124
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:23,281
I thought only directors wear
the indoor scarf. Is he mocking me?
125
00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:24,949
Why don't we put him
somewhere you can't see him?
126
00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:26,242
Yes, hide the man.
127
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:28,328
- Now show me the cargo bay.
- Oh.
128
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,829
Bring up Eric's cargo bay.
129
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:32,916
So, this is the latest
render of the cargo bay.
130
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:36,670
Daniel?
131
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,715
All right, screen team.
I did have it, but what I'm looking
132
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:42,092
at right now is not the cargo bay.
133
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:44,511
It's Darren's wife
and his three children
134
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,221
and their weird medieval haircuts.
135
00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:49,474
Eric. Sir, cannot wait
to see your hospital scene.
136
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:51,184
Somberly excited to see her die.
137
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,394
Thank you.
138
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:55,814
Why does he think small children
139
00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:57,565
want to see a sad lady die?
140
00:05:57,565 --> 00:05:59,484
Yeah. Agreed.
We should cut the scene.
141
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,361
I spoke with Pat.
142
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:05,115
We have to swallow some
additional product placement.
143
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:06,950
What, one of his janky product deals?
144
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,827
Oh. For the record, not everyone
145
00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:10,829
who drove a Coyote Turbo
died in a fire.
146
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,665
It's not my first rodeo.
147
00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:15,500
I helped integrate paprika Popchips
148
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,293
into Thunderon's funeral.
What's the brand?
149
00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:18,670
Established name.
150
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,422
I took a look at the product catalog,
151
00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:23,758
and I think the best fit for us
in terms of storytelling
152
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,135
is the YTO 330.
153
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,429
Sports car? 'Cause Tecto's
already got a car.
154
00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:29,014
Mm, this is more off-road.
155
00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:32,267
Off-road, four-wheeled conveyance.
156
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:33,351
Rugged.
157
00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:42,444
- That's a tractor.
- Very, very reliable tractor.
158
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:44,738
Judge's commendation
at the Beijing Tractor Expo.
159
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:47,073
- Fair play, tractor.
- Fucking great tractor.
160
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,117
It's a tractor
with bags of character.
161
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:50,326
We're in deep space.
162
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:52,203
How the fuck are we gonna
integrate a tractor?
163
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:54,205
Look, Aaron Sorkin's locked
in a room in Burbank
164
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:56,291
working on the Turkey Dinosaurs
movie for Pat.
165
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:57,917
- I'll throw it to him.
- Eric won't like it.
166
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,127
He's a former ad guy.
167
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,087
On the Reddits, they still call him
"The Cheese Man of Dusseldorf."
168
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,881
- It haunts him.
- Sorry, no can care.
169
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,674
Shane wants us to tickle up China.
170
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:05,884
Look, it is not just us.
171
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:08,178
Centurios 2 took the Forager model...
172
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:09,846
which has the excavation bucket
173
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,097
- and the hedge trimmer?
- Hedge trimmer.
174
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,515
No way.
It just won't make sense.
175
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,517
God, imagine if something
in the movie didn't make sense.
176
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:16,269
Look, this is not a drill, Dan.
177
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:19,564
Pat's unhappy, and I need a win.
We both do.
178
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,775
I am offering whatever you want...
179
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:25,737
in terms of directing.
180
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:31,117
Okay.
181
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:35,622
All right, I'll talk to Eric.
You'll get your product shot.
182
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,540
Thank you.
183
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:40,919
It's so red and adorable.
184
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:43,713
Really hope you figure it out.
185
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:46,508
Be great to give a boost
to the Chinese Communist Party.
186
00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:48,593
Okay, cool. You're doing your thing.
187
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:50,261
Peck, peck, pecking away.
188
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:52,138
Look, it's a two-second shot
of a tractor.
189
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,348
And Dickens was product.
190
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:54,933
And Shakespeare moved units, okay?
191
00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:56,851
The biz is the biz is the biz.
192
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:59,145
Six hundred gram organic
rotisserie chicken for Adam.
193
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,523
Great. So now I'm a chicken butler.
194
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:03,441
For the People's Republic of Chicken.
195
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:07,237
Really glad I did that degree
in history of art.
196
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,613
Chicken traveling!
197
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,158
I have your chicken.
198
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:13,993
I feel like a zookeeper
199
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,995
throwing protein
at you every four hours.
200
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:19,290
Yeah. It's...
I just gotta maintain nonstop.
201
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:21,626
It's like I--
I'm only as valuable as...
202
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:22,961
as my lean muscle mass.
203
00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:25,505
And it's like I'm a piece
of veal. It's just...
204
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:28,508
Very morose. You still in character
205
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,676
for the scene that won't get cut?
206
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:30,802
Can I ask you a question?
207
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:33,096
'Cause this child on Reddit says
I don't blink enough
208
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:35,140
and it's creepy
and now I'm in my head about it?
209
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,433
How's this?
210
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,352
Mm. Great, great level.
211
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,604
You're blinking like a motherfucker.
212
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:43,606
- Yeah. That-- Yeah.
- Yeah.
213
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:46,359
That's what I thought. I mean...
214
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,195
I just don't get it.
Why don't they want me?
215
00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:52,782
Centurios 2.
Why'd they take Peter over me?
216
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:54,159
Like, why don't they--
217
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:56,786
Like, what is it about me
that they...
218
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,246
What-- Do you like me?
219
00:08:58,788 --> 00:08:59,998
I don't think
you want me poking around
220
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:01,416
in your noggin, seriously.
221
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:02,667
No, you can come on in. Door's open.
222
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,169
Ding dong. Say hello.
223
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,796
- What is it?
- Honestly, Adam...
224
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:09,341
and I actually think that
you'll find comfort in this...
225
00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:12,344
I don't have one opinion on you.
Not at all.
226
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,305
Well, I-- Well, y-- you--
227
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:17,015
Sorry. That's why you're so great.
228
00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:18,600
- Oh.
- When I'm watching you
229
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,560
I'm not thinking about anything.
230
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,979
And it's like my brain's having
a little rest.
231
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,691
You're kind of like a sexless...
232
00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:28,818
in a good way
because it's non-threatening...
233
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:30,612
potato.
234
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,741
"Sexless potato."
235
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,618
God, you have confidence to say that
236
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,495
to my actual fucking face.
237
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:39,913
In front of everyone.
238
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,456
Big Dag energy.
239
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,584
Do you mind having second lunch
with me?
240
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:48,046
I need a favor.
What are you, paleo, keto?
241
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:49,130
Dag.
242
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,715
No, no. What, what do you wanna eat?
243
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:51,966
Surprise me.
244
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,510
- Okay. Great.
- Yeah.
245
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:54,928
I'm looking forward to it.
246
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:02,352
Okay, product placement
option one. And cue vehicle.
247
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:03,937
Copy that. Cueing vehicle.
248
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,418
Thoughts?
249
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:29,462
In terms of how we integrate it
into the plot...
250
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,256
in the story...
251
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:35,677
I guess the story is a rice farmer
from China's...
252
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:39,347
accidentally driven through
a wormhole in...
253
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:41,182
It's the worst thing I've ever seen.
254
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:43,476
Or option two.
255
00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:47,105
So, option two.
256
00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:50,775
Why would there be a Chinese tractor
257
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,652
in the Sector Nine cargo bay?
258
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,656
Maybe an agricultural show nearby?
259
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,408
Country fair in a local quadrant?
260
00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:00,702
- Smart.
- A country fair in deep space?
261
00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:02,829
Yeah. Hogs, lambs, goats.
Space cheese.
262
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,289
Fucking space cheese?
263
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:06,708
I give up. I literally
can't do anything right.
264
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,213
Also, China would like a line.
265
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:15,091
Obviously, we can push back.
But they are, not relevant...
266
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:18,470
but they are a global
nuclear superpower. So...
267
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:20,847
Which line?
268
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:23,892
"Reliable. Buyable. Undeniable.
269
00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:26,019
It's the best tractor in the galaxy."
270
00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:30,523
And you want those actual words
in my literal movie?
271
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,442
It's a small statement of fact.
272
00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:36,905
Daniel, I can't.
273
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,828
Eric, there is another option.
274
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,957
- The hospital scene.
- My dying wife?
275
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,043
Truth is, the studio want
to cut it, okay?
276
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,795
'Cause they're scared
by the power of emotions.
277
00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:56,466
But put the tractor in the scene
and then they can't cut it.
278
00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:00,178
The only way
you're swallowing their load
279
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:01,346
is if they swallow yours.
280
00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:03,014
A load for a load.
281
00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:07,310
Plus, Centurios 2
has the Forager model...
282
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:09,354
which has the excavator bucket.
283
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,483
Obviously I can shoot a tractor.
I can shoot the shit out of it.
284
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,610
Oh, yeah. Mate, I've seen
your Daewoo commercial.
285
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:16,695
Seminal.
286
00:12:19,114 --> 00:12:20,573
So, we good?
287
00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:31,042
By the way, Milo the sound guy
didn't wanna move.
288
00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:32,585
So, we're setting up a sight screen
289
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,129
so you won't have to see him.
290
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:38,049
We made him remove his indoor scarf.
291
00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:40,010
He was wearing it
'cause he has tonsillitis.
292
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:42,595
Would you like to keep it
as a trophy?
293
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:43,680
Yes.
294
00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:45,348
Is he looking?
295
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,308
I have the feeling
I've antagonized him.
296
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:49,978
Oh, yeah, he's looking.
Lasers coming out of his eyes.
297
00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:52,814
Is there nowhere else
he can go? Outside?
298
00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,733
Like... a van outside?
299
00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,067
Not in a horrible way, but...
300
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,403
Yeah, no, sure. Not a horrible van.
301
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:00,613
Okay. I think--
302
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,323
I think we should probably kill
the video wall
303
00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:04,951
‘cause that's personal
and just a bit sad.
304
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,828
Screen team.
305
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:10,331
I've currently got a slideshow
of Darren trying on some chinos.
306
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:11,416
Nobody look.
307
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,585
Nobody look at the video wall.
308
00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:15,754
Even though I'm drawing
your attention to it.
309
00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:20,967
Deadline once called me
a cusping wave. Ready to break.
310
00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:22,594
And I'm...
311
00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:26,264
I'm on like a mission
to find what's missing.
312
00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:28,350
And like, I was talking
to this person.
313
00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:30,310
It's a famous person, Jonah Hill.
314
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:33,480
And he said I should explore
fecal transplants.
315
00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,066
- Okay.
- So, what I'm basically...
316
00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:37,984
what I'm basically saying, Dag, is...
317
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,947
can you do me a solid?
318
00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:50,038
Oh.
319
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,290
- My shit.
- Yes, exactly, yes.
320
00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:54,584
A stool transplant. And you're
the perfect demographic for me.
321
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:55,669
Perfect, so yes.
322
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:59,297
I might like to, you know...
feast on your biome.
323
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:00,590
Got it.
324
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,801
And how does that work...
the transplant?
325
00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:05,387
I don't like... in your mouth?
326
00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:06,971
In my mouth? No, no.
327
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:08,890
Not yet.
328
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:12,977
Yeah, NDA. We're gonna sign
an NDA, a veil of secrecy
329
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,646
and then my team will take a sample
330
00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,690
and see if you are viable.
331
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:19,359
Oh. My stools are viable.
332
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,652
Yeah.
333
00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:22,570
- Don't you worry about that.
- Yeah.
334
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:24,280
Okay, yeah. I'm in.
335
00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:27,575
But I want
an executive producer credit.
336
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:28,910
Absolutely not.
337
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,788
One step at a time, okay?
One step at a time.
338
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,165
- But I'll drop you a line.
- Okay.
339
00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:35,250
- Thanks.
- It's a pleasure
340
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,334
doing business for you.
341
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:38,294
For me?
342
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:39,546
Don't tell anyone.
343
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,172
- Why would I?
- Yeah.
344
00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:47,178
- No problem.
- The love of God!
345
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,139
Can I at least have
my scarf back?
346
00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:50,974
Yeah, I'll look into it.
Okay, text me your lunch order.
347
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,100
Cheers.
348
00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:56,438
- Emergency dialogue fix.
- What?
349
00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:59,691
Dialogue has been Sorkinized.
We are rehearsing.
350
00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:02,110
And now try
the new line, please, Adam.
351
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:03,945
But really, only if you can
find it, yeah?
352
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:05,155
- Okay.
- And...
353
00:15:05,155 --> 00:15:06,281
Just one sec.
354
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,116
I got it.
355
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:11,161
And... action.
356
00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:14,122
Angela.
357
00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:22,505
Tractors...
358
00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:26,634
turning the soil. Reliable...
359
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:29,387
undeniable tractors.
360
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:33,183
Okay, he's not saying that line.
361
00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:34,309
Okay, cut the line.
362
00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:36,102
Other than that, I think it works.
363
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:37,854
Compromise.
364
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:40,398
Everyone's a winner slash loser.
Told you I could execute.
365
00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:43,902
"The Executioner"
of this artform that you love.
366
00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:45,445
Checks to shoot, please.
367
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:48,907
FYI, I may need to dash away
on some very important business.
368
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:53,495
I'm trying to produce something
for Adam. I'm his new producer.
369
00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:55,789
Dan, Peter's returned
from his Centurios cameo.
370
00:15:55,789 --> 00:15:57,415
All right, great.
Can you get him and Mollusk Man
371
00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:58,708
ready for the next set-up?
372
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:01,252
We might have
a continuity issue.
373
00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,759
- Peter?
- Oh, hello.
374
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:09,803
I had the most wonderful time.
375
00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,304
Peter, have you been sprayed?
376
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,807
Yes, I have.
I can't remember why.
377
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:17,769
Wasn't listening.
Plot reasons, one imagines.
378
00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:19,270
Peter's been sprayed.
379
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,774
- Like a dog?
- Sprayed.
380
00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:25,568
They've got the most
incredible caterers over there.
381
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:28,905
Do you know, they put truffle
into arancini now?
382
00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:31,408
Makeup's saying they can't
remove it without breaking skin.
383
00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:32,742
They've had a go.
384
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:35,203
I've been getting rubbed off
for the past hour.
385
00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:36,705
Wonderful joke, Peter, thank you.
386
00:16:36,955 --> 00:16:38,832
Someone "blue" me.
Also tinted my skin.
387
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:41,584
Okay, let's send Peter home
before he innuendoes himself.
388
00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:44,921
And off I fuck for treacle pud
on the beanbag.
389
00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:47,173
The actor's life!
390
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:50,385
- Auf weidersehen, cunts.
- Bye, Peter. Have a lovely time.
391
00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:54,431
The crane pushes
very slowly onto Adam.
392
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:56,433
Slow push. I'll let Horst know.
393
00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:58,351
Slow and beautiful, yes?
Like my scene.
394
00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,602
Eyebrows coming back nicely.
395
00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:00,979
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
396
00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:02,689
So, how's things? How's married life?
397
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,482
Oh, I wouldn't know, sadly.
398
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:06,526
Had to miss the honeymoon
to be here, but...
399
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,528
Right, right.
I'm sure she understands.
400
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,405
- She's probably great.
- Oh, yeah. Oh, she gets it.
401
00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:13,033
Yeah. Totally get--
You know, she doesn't get it.
402
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:15,326
She's devastated, and she's not
returning my calls.
403
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:18,079
- And it's really sad.
- Right.
404
00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:19,456
God.
405
00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:23,293
Yeah, I'm having a bit
of strife myself, actually.
406
00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:25,045
Oh, sorry to hear that.
407
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,838
Yep. Sometimes the people
we end up with
408
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,591
are malignant, narcissistic
arrogant shitheads.
409
00:17:29,591 --> 00:17:30,967
...like a fraction slower.
410
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:35,096
- Well, that's show biz, folks.
- Yes. Yes, it is.
411
00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:39,684
Sorry?
412
00:17:39,684 --> 00:17:41,978
Sorry, sorry.
What the fuck is this now?
413
00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:44,731
It was communicated
to Centurios 2 that we had
414
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,983
successfully integrated
the product into our film.
415
00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:48,985
So they thought
we could also take theirs.
416
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:50,695
Daniel? A second tractor?
417
00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:53,239
Their feeling is...
we already have one tractor.
418
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:54,366
So what's another tractor?
419
00:17:54,366 --> 00:17:56,201
It's got more things
than our tractor.
420
00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:57,452
It's even more tractor.
421
00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:59,496
Two tractors? This is my death scene!
422
00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:01,373
It's not a fucking piece
of farming pornography.
423
00:18:01,373 --> 00:18:04,292
Having had a chance
to reflect, their director just feels
424
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:06,586
- really strongly about China.
- Oh, really? Does he now?
425
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,129
Guess what?
I feel strongly about China.
426
00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:10,423
But apparently,
he feels really strongly.
427
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:11,966
Oh, that's so fucking paternalistic.
428
00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:13,843
Straight White guy
suddenly really cares
429
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:16,388
- about poor old backward China.
- I really care about it.
430
00:18:16,388 --> 00:18:17,931
I do care about it a lot.
431
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:19,683
Well, exactly, Eric cares about it
but in the right way.
432
00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:21,476
Calm down. We all hate or love China
433
00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:23,228
the same correct amount.
Who the fuck cares?
434
00:18:23,228 --> 00:18:25,063
- Amnesty International.
- Our corporate partners.
435
00:18:25,063 --> 00:18:27,315
Asshole!
He wants to destroy my film.
436
00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:29,442
- Send it back. Send it back.
- Do not send it back!
437
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,111
Do not send it back.
438
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,654
Oh my God, this is so ugly.
439
00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:34,364
Apparently, their director
is thinking of going public
440
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,951
with his feelings. And his opinion
is basically... China.
441
00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:40,995
Oh, yeah? Mine too.
Fuck it. Fuck China.
442
00:18:41,413 --> 00:18:42,664
- Hey...
- I will say it first.
443
00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:43,873
Who wants to hear it?
444
00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:46,459
No, Eric. No. Whoa.
445
00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:49,504
Fuck China. Yeah?
446
00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:51,589
Fuck China!
447
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:54,134
Fuck dim sums. Fuck finger traps.
448
00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:56,845
Fuck Mulan. Fuck fortune cookies.
449
00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:59,556
Fuck sweet sour. Fuck Peking duck.
450
00:18:59,556 --> 00:19:04,811
Fuck silk. Fuck ying. Fuck yang.
Eric say fuck Confucius.
451
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:08,231
- Thank you.
- You happy?
452
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:10,942
I'm a big man.
453
00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:14,237
I'm an IMAX man.
I'm a very wide screen man.
454
00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,906
- Yeah.
- Fuck the pandas.
455
00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:19,534
Glad they can't reproduce.
456
00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:25,040
Send them both back to Centurios.
457
00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:36,593
No, no. No tractors.
Xan said no tractors.
458
00:19:41,264 --> 00:19:42,807
All right. We need to shoot.
459
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:45,185
Steph, can you find out when
Eric's ready to rejoin, please?
460
00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:46,478
He'll come out when he's hungry.
461
00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:47,604
I know.
462
00:19:47,604 --> 00:19:50,398
Guys! Stop watching poker.
463
00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:51,691
Adam.
464
00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:53,151
Hey.
465
00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:54,944
- When you get a second.
- What?
466
00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,029
It is done.
467
00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:59,115
I have undertaken my business.
468
00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:02,494
- What?
- In your trailer.
469
00:20:02,494 --> 00:20:04,704
I've done a very ambitious
production.
470
00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:07,874
I've done a shit.
471
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:10,752
You shit in my trailer?
472
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,421
I thought that's what you wanted.
473
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,840
No. No, I have a specialist
474
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,801
and he puts it in a sealed bag
and you're supposed
475
00:20:17,801 --> 00:20:20,553
to do the WhatsApp
questionnaire. What?
476
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:21,763
Oh, I've done it wrong.
477
00:20:21,763 --> 00:20:24,140
Yeah. You shit in my trailer, dude.
478
00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:28,436
Oh, no, Dag. You didn't.
You mucky little pup.
479
00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:29,729
- What's happening?
- No.
480
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:30,897
Daniel, don't shout at her...
481
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,565
but she's done a shit
in Adam's trailer.
482
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:35,318
Sorry, Dag, what? Was it...
483
00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:37,278
I mean, tell me it was
at least in the toilet.
484
00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:39,406
NDA. NDA.
485
00:20:40,323 --> 00:20:42,909
Oh, what have I done that for?
486
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:45,704
I think someone needs to say sorry.
487
00:20:45,704 --> 00:20:48,415
Adam, I'm sorry for doing
a poo in your trailer.
488
00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:51,418
- What the fuck happened?
- How do you know?
489
00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:53,378
- It's in fucking Variety.
- I'm sorry, what?
490
00:20:53,378 --> 00:20:55,171
How can Variety know already?
491
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,882
Shane is monitoring, and he is
deeply, deeply concerned.
492
00:20:58,216 --> 00:20:59,342
Shane knows?
493
00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:02,470
- Why is this happening to me?
- Eric, sir. Sorry.
494
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:05,473
Have you declared war on China?
495
00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:06,808
Not as far as I'm aware.
496
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:09,227
"Did Eric Bouchard
Just Declare War on China?"
497
00:21:09,227 --> 00:21:10,562
Oh, thank God! That's the article.
498
00:21:10,562 --> 00:21:12,480
- Did you go public?
- What is happening, Daniel?
499
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,149
No idea. I'm just panicking
in real time like you.
500
00:21:14,149 --> 00:21:16,067
Shane's schedule
does not allow a window for war.
501
00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:18,111
Maybe the sound guy leaked it.
502
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,529
You know, the man you put into a van?
503
00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:22,198
Major problem. Very, very not good.
504
00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:24,075
I just wanted a man
to remove his scarf.
505
00:21:24,075 --> 00:21:25,827
They've got fucking nukes, Eric.
506
00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:28,121
Of all the countries.
War with Malta, maybe.
507
00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:29,330
War with China?
508
00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:31,082
I'm supposed to go
to Bournemouth for the weekend.
509
00:21:31,082 --> 00:21:32,500
Listen, go to my trailer.
510
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,169
There's something there.
You're not gonna like it.
511
00:21:34,169 --> 00:21:35,920
The head of our
Global Security Force, for you.
512
00:21:37,505 --> 00:21:38,506
Hello?
513
00:21:39,549 --> 00:21:40,717
Yes, this is he.
514
00:21:42,010 --> 00:21:43,887
Yes, it seems I've done this.
515
00:21:45,096 --> 00:21:48,141
Okay, I will let them know.
Thank you. Bye.
516
00:21:50,185 --> 00:21:51,394
They want me to tell security
517
00:21:51,394 --> 00:21:53,355
that I might be at war with China.
518
00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:54,439
Studio security, yeah?
519
00:21:54,439 --> 00:21:55,648
Frank and the boys at front desk.
520
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:57,859
- I'll let 'em know. Great.
- If you would be so kind, yeah.
521
00:21:57,859 --> 00:22:00,570
Anita, I have Pat from Cleveland
requesting you "urgently."
522
00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:03,281
Oh, I'm not here. No thank you.
523
00:22:03,281 --> 00:22:05,241
I'm actually just having a migraine.
524
00:22:05,241 --> 00:22:06,868
I might have given myself
China Syndrome.
525
00:22:07,202 --> 00:22:08,953
Right, do you need your eye-bag?
526
00:22:08,953 --> 00:22:10,663
Okay. Scramble PR.
527
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:13,083
Apology video. Full-court grovel.
528
00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:15,877
Okay? Go. Go, go, go, go, go!
529
00:22:15,877 --> 00:22:17,087
Oh, my God.
530
00:22:18,088 --> 00:22:22,050
Hey, guys. Hey, team. What's up?
531
00:22:22,050 --> 00:22:23,510
This is next-levels Orwellian.
532
00:22:23,510 --> 00:22:25,345
Welcome to the future
of getting reamed out.
533
00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:26,680
Xi Jin Pat.
534
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,682
Pat, Daniel just called you
"Xi Jin Pat."
535
00:22:28,682 --> 00:22:32,644
So, team Tecto, what's happenin'?
536
00:22:35,313 --> 00:22:38,191
Basically, Eric's at war with China
and now he has a migraine.
537
00:22:38,191 --> 00:22:39,818
Yeah, I know what's
fucking happening, dipshit.
538
00:22:39,818 --> 00:22:41,069
Show me Eric.
539
00:22:41,569 --> 00:22:44,614
Hey, tough guy!
Hope you've got your own nukes.
540
00:22:44,614 --> 00:22:47,659
What the fuck is that?
Bryson, what is that?
541
00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:50,620
I believe it's an eye-bag, sir.
Lavender-scented eye-bag.
542
00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:51,746
All right, you know what?
543
00:22:51,746 --> 00:22:55,500
That lavender eye-bag
is gonna me fucking explode!
544
00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:57,002
Eric, if we could be removing
the eye-bag, please?
545
00:22:57,460 --> 00:22:58,795
Pat, I am across this.
546
00:22:58,795 --> 00:23:00,171
Sure fucking looks like it.
547
00:23:00,296 --> 00:23:03,008
Hey, I talked to my friends
at the Propaganda Committee.
548
00:23:03,008 --> 00:23:05,051
They have a little
clean-up job for you.
549
00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:08,096
Tell me, what do you know about
the tainted baby milk scandal?
550
00:23:08,096 --> 00:23:09,264
Not much.
551
00:23:09,264 --> 00:23:11,975
An incident.
Traces of mercury in the milk.
552
00:23:11,975 --> 00:23:13,727
They'd like us to reassure
the Chinese people
553
00:23:13,727 --> 00:23:15,186
that it's safe to drink.
554
00:23:16,563 --> 00:23:17,564
And is it?
555
00:23:17,981 --> 00:23:19,482
Oh, yeah, sure.
556
00:23:20,066 --> 00:23:22,527
So, where are my actors at, huh?
Bryson, show me.
557
00:23:22,527 --> 00:23:25,697
Where's Peter? I guess
we got a commercial to shoot.
558
00:23:25,697 --> 00:23:27,157
You, in the skull cap.
559
00:23:27,532 --> 00:23:28,992
How would you like
a line in our movie?
560
00:23:28,992 --> 00:23:30,076
I'm sorry?
561
00:23:30,952 --> 00:23:31,953
Oh, my God.
562
00:23:42,172 --> 00:23:45,175
I tell you what, Colonel Adard...
563
00:23:45,175 --> 00:23:47,469
that packs a real protein punch.
564
00:23:51,222 --> 00:23:52,766
- Cut.
- Cut there.
565
00:23:53,350 --> 00:23:54,434
I think we got it.
566
00:23:54,434 --> 00:23:55,977
- Go again.
- Pat would like to go again.
567
00:23:55,977 --> 00:23:57,604
- We go again.
- We're going again.
568
00:23:57,604 --> 00:23:59,105
And this is definitely safe to drink?
569
00:23:59,105 --> 00:24:00,732
Because I'm-- I'm drinking
quite a lot of this.
570
00:24:00,857 --> 00:24:02,442
Yeah, I'm sure it's fine.
571
00:24:02,442 --> 00:24:04,235
If you could like...
If you could find out
572
00:24:04,235 --> 00:24:05,403
how much mercury there was in it...
573
00:24:05,403 --> 00:24:06,738
because I ought to tell my doctor.
574
00:24:06,738 --> 00:24:08,114
Yeah, sure.
575
00:24:08,114 --> 00:24:09,616
It's only for the China cut, Eric.
576
00:24:09,616 --> 00:24:11,993
Yeah, exactly. Just a billion people.
577
00:24:11,993 --> 00:24:14,788
- Thank you, Dag.
- He's very, very good.
578
00:24:15,330 --> 00:24:16,498
Like, arresting.
579
00:24:17,374 --> 00:24:18,500
Indelible.
580
00:24:21,252 --> 00:24:22,796
Not good, Dan.
581
00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:25,048
China, the golf cart.
582
00:24:25,632 --> 00:24:28,009
Eric's about to hang himself
with his indoor scarf.
583
00:24:28,009 --> 00:24:30,053
Holy shit. Are they gonna fire him?
584
00:24:30,053 --> 00:24:31,262
Worse.
585
00:24:31,262 --> 00:24:33,014
No, they'll Clockwork Orange him.
586
00:24:33,014 --> 00:24:35,225
Strap him to a chair,
pin his eyelids back,
587
00:24:35,225 --> 00:24:37,727
and then make us all watch
as Pat fucks his movie.
588
00:24:37,727 --> 00:24:39,187
Bad for Eric. Bad for us.
589
00:24:39,187 --> 00:24:41,564
Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.
590
00:24:41,564 --> 00:24:45,235
That does sound bad.
Oh, feeding time.
591
00:24:45,235 --> 00:24:46,611
Adam needs his chicken.
592
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:50,782
Yeah, I'm coming.
I'm all right. I'm fine.
593
00:24:50,782 --> 00:24:52,325
No, don't put your hand on me.
594
00:24:52,325 --> 00:24:53,868
We've had reports of an audio leak.
595
00:24:53,868 --> 00:24:56,204
I want my fucking scarf.
And a lawyer.
596
00:24:58,248 --> 00:25:00,667
If you can tell Eric, I wanna do
kind of a looser one.
597
00:25:01,334 --> 00:25:03,044
Matter of fact, this dude.
Excuse me. Could you--
598
00:25:03,044 --> 00:25:06,214
Could you just fuck off
out of my eyeline just a hair?
599
00:25:06,214 --> 00:25:07,882
Thanks, mate.
Really appreciate it. Yeah.
600
00:25:07,882 --> 00:25:08,967
Fuck's sake.
601
00:25:08,967 --> 00:25:11,594
Come on. I really wanna see
that label, Eric.
602
00:25:11,594 --> 00:25:13,179
Come on. Let's sell some milk.
603
00:25:14,431 --> 00:25:15,849
Can you hold the milk higher?
604
00:25:16,433 --> 00:25:17,642
Mm-hmm. Yes, sir.
605
00:25:20,562 --> 00:25:21,604
Closer to your face.
606
00:25:22,856 --> 00:25:23,898
There?
607
00:25:25,525 --> 00:25:26,526
Lower.
608
00:25:27,736 --> 00:25:28,737
Lower.
609
00:25:29,821 --> 00:25:30,822
Yeah.
610
00:25:32,115 --> 00:25:33,491
Okay, let's go.
611
00:25:33,491 --> 00:25:35,577
Come on.
Let's sell some milk. Let's go.
612
00:25:37,871 --> 00:25:40,498
All right, Eric, my good sir.
613
00:25:40,957 --> 00:25:42,125
Ready for another take.
614
00:25:57,015 --> 00:26:01,728
Ni hao. I want to apologize
to the President of China...
615
00:26:02,020 --> 00:26:05,065
the government of China.
The people of China...
616
00:26:05,065 --> 00:26:07,567
and, indeed, the pandas of China...
617
00:26:07,567 --> 00:26:11,446
for the deeply disrespectful way
I referred to your homeland.
618
00:26:11,780 --> 00:26:15,325
Hello. And indeed, ni hao.
619
00:26:15,909 --> 00:26:18,828
I would like to take
this opportunity to apologize
620
00:26:18,828 --> 00:26:20,038
to the people of China
621
00:26:20,038 --> 00:26:21,831
for a great many number of things.
622
00:26:21,831 --> 00:26:26,002
First and foremost, the 1991
buddy comedy Sweet & Sour.
623
00:26:26,002 --> 00:26:28,380
Having had the chance
to reflect, and having spoken
624
00:26:28,380 --> 00:26:31,007
to a number of leading
Chinese academics...
625
00:26:31,508 --> 00:26:34,386
I can now see that elements
of my portrayal
626
00:26:34,386 --> 00:26:38,723
of Professor Zhao
were inappropriate, inaccurate
627
00:26:38,723 --> 00:26:42,060
and, while deeply funny
at the time and indeed lauded
628
00:26:42,060 --> 00:26:44,854
as "stir-fried fun" by Roger Ebert...
629
00:26:45,605 --> 00:26:49,901
incredibly painful to many
thousands, if not millions of people.
630
00:26:49,901 --> 00:26:54,155
I am, as ever, grateful
for this learning opportunity.
631
00:26:55,198 --> 00:26:57,784
And I know that now
it's time for me to stop talking
632
00:26:57,784 --> 00:26:59,119
and start listening.
633
00:26:59,703 --> 00:27:03,873
My audiobook, You're Welcome Darling
is available now, with a full
634
00:27:03,873 --> 00:27:05,625
speaking tour
to follow in the spring.
635
00:27:05,750 --> 00:27:09,004
Thank you and zai jain.
636
00:27:11,047 --> 00:27:12,048
Shishi.
637
00:27:13,675 --> 00:27:15,135
And I would like to add...
638
00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:18,471
that this milk is utterly delicious.
47753
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