Original subtitles

[Music]

Five, six, seven, eight and zoom.

Zoom, zoom.

And come on.

He may claw those mamma's feet.

Her feet.

Okay, from the top.

[Music]

Great.

[Music]

Look at me.

[Music]

With Nellie.

[Music]

Nellie.

[Music]

That's all.

All right ladies, keep your wigs on.

[Music]

Go, forget it.

Two shakes of a tail feathers.

I've been rivaling with you.

[Music]

Rehearsals going well I see.

Such a Karen.

[Music]

Wonder whose calls you're hiding.

Wondering what business it is of yours.

Do you need some help?

Or shall we just give it up as a bad joke?

And just have your dominoes tournament.

I don't think so.

And anyway, it's for charity.

So what exactly is your problem Lois?

You.

This woman-facing just feels so

regressive don't you think.

A man's idea of women at their worst.

Says the woman hovering like the Grim Reaper.

There.

I've said it.

Maybe it plays with and disrupts the gender norms.

Ever thought of that?

Oh and for the record,

I am a woman.

You could always redress the balance Lois.

Come as a drag king.

Could work.

I'd rather stick dominoes in my eyes.

Can be arranged.

Right then, from the top.

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Bunch of big head false face losers.

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Do you never give up?

I've said all I need to say.

Actions always have consequences.

Hey baby!

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

After you sir.

Hmm?

Nothing.

Oh.

Revered stage and screen legend no less.

Who squandered his talent on wine and women?

Oh, it's easily done.

Bye Madden.

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

We're not talking cryogenics I take it.

We are not.

Victim sustained a high impact blow to the left side of her head.

Was that the cause of death?

Hard to say without getting the body back to the lab.

Sir.

The names Lois Springfield.

Single owned suds, zaps and zips.

Sir.

Local dry cleaners in the village.

Does everything for washing and ironing.

Sir.

Dry cleaning and alterations.

Who found her?

A landlady Jill Templeton and one of her staff Chantal Dawlish.

There was a rehearsal going on for the big event tomorrow night.

The rest of the performers are in the bar waiting to be interviewed.

Right.

Let's start with the landlady.

Is she one of the drag queens?

Of course she's not.

Dress isn't on properly.

She still has her day to day clothes on underneath.

Whoever killed her dressed her post mortem.

No self respecting queen would apply make up like that.

I was once one half of drag double act.

Ava Hartburn.

You're a stonking version of we like my fire.

Ava Hartburn and?

Morgan Donor.

Lovely bloke.

Colin.

Legs to die for.

Never seen a man look so good in lycra.

He could have gone all the way but had other plans.

Why? What does he do now?

He's chief healthcare administrator of Scotland.

You OK?

Yeah.

Can I get you anything?

Can I get a glass of water?

You see I'd rather be a deus winter.

Mrs. Templeton?

Yes.

I just can't believe it.

So terrible.

Came in for my shift at 11.

That's when I found her.

Did you know Miss Springfield well?

Yes.

She ran the dry cleaners for years.

The hub of the village.

Any family?

No.

Only child.

Never married.

Never had any children.

Why was Miss Springfield here?

Setting up for her big domino tournament tomorrow.

It's got something to do with the charity event?

Yes and no.

Every year the parish council are led by Lewis.

Nominate a worthy charity or cause

and then vote for an event to fundraise for it.

And this year they all very kindly agreed to...

...urgently raise funds to get my son, Rocker, to America.

He has leukaemia.

I'm very sorry to hear that.

The kindness is blowing me away.

It's expensive but there's a breakthrough treatment

at a specialist clinic in Florida.

That's where we want to send him.

So Miss Springfield agreed to the charity event

even though it clashed with her domino tournament?

When Rocker's need became urgent

this was the earliest day possible.

It just happened to clash with the dominoes.

But Lewis went along with it.

Or she was outvoted.

I see.

Mrs Templeton, do you and your son live on the premises?

Then we'll need to speak to Rocker as well.

Of course.

If he's feeling ok.

Is anybody else living here?

No.

Mr Templeton, if that's who you mean.

That waste of space is long gone.

I thought you had clinic today.

I do.

Had a cancellation so I thought I'd get a run-in.

Gonna be late tonight though.

Got a bit of business to sort so don't bother with dinner yet.

Don't tell me another one of your half-baked projects.

You know me. I like to keep busy.

Dickie.

I know where you were last night.

Flushy new racing bike of yours.

Talk about midlife crisis.

Midlife?

Ella, you know I'm in my prime.

I'll be fit in no time.

Just don't make a habit of it.

Take up a proper hobby.

Like golf or something.

Really, Nig?

Oh, don't get all triggered on me.

I'm drowning my sorrows.

Don't pour me one.

I'm not.

So who's the second pint for?

I'm very, very upset.

Oh, please.

You have all people had zero time for Lois.

Don't pretend otherwise.

Stand by your stilettos, ladies.

Here come da feds.

Good afternoon. Let me introduce you.

Gay man, street man, cisgender, and me.

Whatever the heck I am.

A rogue at vagabond minstrel.

A poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage.

We are such stuff as dreams are made on.

And our little life is rounded with asleep.

Prospero.

I'm a thesp.

Yes, I'm aware of your career.

Ophelia Crotchett.

Ah, um, DCI Barnaby, DS Winter.

So you were all here when the incident occurred.

Did you see Lois Springfield at all?

She's tuck her head in.

Or in, more like.

Around 10.30-ish.

She made her presence felt, then left.

You clearly didn't like Miss Springfield.

Oh, very good, sir.

Is that some kind of sixth sense intuition?

We overheard you talking as we came in.

Actually, I think you'll find it was Lois that didn't like our vibe.

Just saying.

What did you do after she left?

We carried on rehearsing until the lights went out.

And how long were the electrics out for?

About half an hour.

Sean Dawlish, local electrician.

Will anyone else leave the room?

No, I went to change the barrel.

So you work here now, do you?

Heaven forfend no, but I have become more of a fixture than the paintings on the wall.

Drag, dominoes, barrel changing.

I bestried all worlds like a colossus.

And I went to check my phone.

Staying here to work on my costume, which is going to be a dream?

Dream on, sweet cheeks.

Speaking of, I really should get back to it, inspector.

Did anyone see or hear anything untoward?

Oh, I did.

I saw that the stock in the cellar was alarmingly low.

Nigel!

I'm sorry, madam.

What the merry hell is going on here then?

There better not be a problem with the dominoes tomorrow.

Nigel!

Yeah, that'll be Mother.

She'll be wanting a pint.

Bit of a problem, I'm afraid.

May I?

Coming, Mother!

You shouldn't be out of bed.

What's going on?

Have you taken your meds?

Mum, what's going on?

There's...

There's been an incident.

It's Laris.

She's been killed.

Does that mean tomorrow night we'll be cancelled?

No, of course he doesn't.

Just don't worry, I'm not that ahead of you.

Miss Springfield's body was found wearing something crudely resembling drag.

Does that mean anything to you?

Hell no.

Crude and drag in the same sentence?

Surely not.

Joking.

Dread to think what that'd even look like.

Makes no sense to me at all.

Unless someone's trying to point the finger.

Killer queens and all that.

Wouldn't be the first time.

Meaning?

I'm being trolled.

So is Evelyn.

And I don't mean by a freakish, ugly creature living under a bridge.

How long has this been going on?

Ever since we started working the event.

We'll need access to your social media account so we can trace whoever's trolling you.

Be my guest.

Sometimes I wonder why I ever left London.

A broken heart, before you ask.

Hotshot lawyer.

Well liked.

Too well liked, as it turns out.

I came here to, um, lick my wounds.

Moved in with Evelyn.

Not in the biblical sense, you understand.

I do.

Which is practically theatrical royalty, you know.

Dad's an impresario in London.

Sadly, he's not into drag.

And we welcomed here with open arms?

When you dress like I do,

you learn not to expect a warm welcome.

And the temperature with lowest Springfield?

Below freezing.

Anyone else here have a problem with her?

Maybe Richard.

Dicudent.

With a local physio.

Rival, domino, nut.

At it like cats and dogs, they were.

Rowling, that is.

Clinics just across the road.

Confused?

Female drag queen and all that?

No, not at all.

One of my best friends is a, was a, female drag queen.

Afab queen, bio queen, diva queen, foe, hyper.

It's a sore point between me and Malik,

but I identify as a cisgender woman,

and it's my right as a woman to do drag.

Drag is a high art.

Lowest Springfield didn't think so.

At least Lowest was honest.

Lived as her most authentic self happily upsetting everyone in her wake.

No secrets where she was concerned.

There are no secrets in life, just hidden truths beneath the surface.

Sorry my dad used to say.

Then what's your hidden truth?

Some people just can't hide what they feel.

Malik was just as bad as Lowest, gave me as good as he got.

In what way?

When they were dragging up she counted saying she'd rather stick dominoes in her eyes

and he said...

"can be arranged."

But I'm sure he didn't mean it.

Has anyone ever told you you have perfect bone structure

and buttocks like coconuts?

I sneaked a peek earlier.

You'd make a gorgeous queen.

Oh, well now would be a good time to speak with Rocco.

Actually he's sleeping.

Maybe when he wakes.

If that's okay?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Here

is

another

story on late are you early need to do

more stresses by the looks of things

tight glutes getting up you're clearly

having some difficulty no no no

difficulty Richard Dent preferred Dickie

I've taken up cycling you should give it

a go DCI Barnaby I need to talk to you

about Lois Springfield what's your

harlot gone and done that died or other

someone's killed her earlier this

morning can you account for your

movements today of course a patient

council so I went for a run shower

change then yeah so between 1030 and say

11 you were out running did you get

along with Lois you won't be asking that

question if you didn't already know the

answer I didn't made no bones about it

either she locked horns with everyone

me the parish council drag Queens yeah

well that's all other bit of drama so

what did you fall out with her over

Dominos sport Kings I thought that was

horse racing not around here it's a really

big deal me Lois narinda Bellamy run

rival teams we've all been honing our

skills for years you were feud with

Lois just Dominos nothing else that's

right I wasn't happy with the seedings

Lois made her team the scrubbers number

one seeds over and above my spotted Dix

and narinda's bone shovels did you know

Says beat off Turned blue

music plays

Ill or not, we'll need to talk to Rocco Templeton as soon as we can, but um,

tread gently. I will do. And the clinic in Florida checks out by the way, it's

absolute pioneer in its field apparently. Why would the killer dress her up as a

drag queen? Trying to point the finger? Or to make a statement? Men have been

dressing as women for generations, Pantomime dames Les Dawes and Paul O'Grady.

RuPaul. Aside from Lois Springfield's dislike of

drag and her rivalry with Dickey Dent, what else do we know about her? Well,

financials are all in order, laundry and dry cleaning business doing well, chair

of the parish council. Let's check the minutes of recent council meetings, see if

there are any unsavory altercations. Usually are. Any of these people rehearsing had

the opportunity to kill her. Malik Payne threatened to put dominoes in her eyes,

which implicates him. Or one of the others if they wanted us to think it was

him. What were the comments like on Malik Payne's social media? Varied. And not just

from our troll. Mr. Payne was getting it from several directions, from blind

prejudice to people feeling that drag queens mock the heterosexual narrative

and demean the feminine. The troller however goes by the name Superman and Me.

Tech are contacting service providers see if we can trace who sent them and where

from. Anything else? Oh yes actually sir. About my annual review. So, nothing

pressing. Good, right well let's see where Fleur's at with this. So inconsiderate of Lois. I was going to have it out with her by the seedings. The mother she's dead. Mmm. Any excuse that woman. Oh,

nearly forgot. This came for you.

Don't tell me Ava Hart burns making her comeback? Stranger things have happened.

But no. Stiletto, the cause of death? No. Used to incapacitate. Size 9, slim fit,

handmade. No prints unfortunately. Actual cause of death was asphyxiation from the

corset. Paul Debatito. The victim literally had the breath squeezed out of her. Hmm. Symbolic

maybe? Someone trying to silence her. Dominoes, bog standard. Nothing special.

There's something else. I found this strip of cloth on a damaged window pane.

Between the pub and the living quarters. Winter. Maybe belonging to one of our

drag queens, but why would any of them need to climb through a window at the pub?

Over to you on that one. Thanks. Sir the dry cleaning has been broken into and trashed. Let's

go over there, take a look. Do you actually need me because I could do again some prep

done. You know fail to prepare. Indeed, yes. Yes. Prepare to fail. Right.

Didn't think you'd be open today after what happened to Lois. Oh show must go on babes.

Besides charity events don't pay the bills. Mind you, neither does this really. I'm ahead

of my time around here. Lois could have never seen this coming. That's for sure.

Typical of that tricky mare. Try and steal my thunder at the 12th hour. Bad

enough with Nigel. Mr. Payne you were heard threatening Lois Springfield this

morning. Care to explain? Handbags at ten paces. My tongue's my only weapon inspector.

Chances of me actually killing someone. Way too messy. Far too much chance of me

messing up my nails. This is the box office I take it. Yes, Olivia Dent,

treasurer on the village committee. Drama teacher, bookworm, awful news about Lois.

Indeed, would you be related to Dickie Dent by any chance? He's my husband. Are

you one of the spotted dicks? God no. Domino's leave me cold I'm afraid. And your

husband said that he went for a jog this morning between about 1030 and 11 ish is

that correct? Certainly came back sweating. Is this set text for your students? Actually

I'm hoping to put on a play. It's early stages but maybe next year. Now I finally

managed to persuade Nigel to revive his Romeo. Nigel Bellamy as Romeo? I always

always wanted to do it and when Nigel returned to the village we got chatting

in the pub. I think this could be the start of Nigel's comeback. God help us. And

be careful what you wish for girlfriend. The dizzying heights of stardom not all

they're cracked up to be. Trust me. As a drama teacher are you involved in putting

on the drag event? When he was front of house I leave the important stuff to the

pros here. Less of the pros. Oh um one more thing what shoe size are you? Is that a

leading question Inspector? Nine. Does that help? It does. Do you own a sparkly

pink size nine stiletto? There's a pair in the props box. They've been there all week

at the pub. Oh they're yours if that's why you're asking. It's not. As a matter of

fact a pink stiletto was used to incapacitate Lois Springfield. No pink

shoes aren't for me I'm afraid. Far too tacky.

[Music]

sorry just am I next? Why would you think you'd be next? I don't know I'm one of the

queens. I work here with Lois a few times a week but I only came in to fix my

output for tomorrow. How did that work with Miss Springfield? We understood that

she had little time for the Queens. True she also had little staff so she tolerates

me because it suited her but believe me I never had the last of it. Is there any

CCTV? Lois didn't believe in it. Said she had all the security she needed. She had

this uncanny knack of knowing more about people than they knew themselves. Do you

know why someone would write thief on the floor? I don't know. Lois had a bit of a bad

reputation for going through people's pockets. She sort of knew everyone's dirty

laundry. Literally. Anyone in particular?

(birds chirping)

(somber music)

(paper rustling)

- Does this mean anything to you?

- Chan?

You there?

- Yep.

(paper rustling)

- You're joking, right?

Are you seriously going to do this?

You know I support your cross-dressing,

but why would you wanna put yourself out there

for the whole world to see?

Why do that?

- Because why wouldn't I?

For Jill and for Rocco and for me.

- What about me?

Do I and Ty count?

- Not this again, Chan.

It's not about you, it's about me.

I thought you were okay with it.

- I am.

(birds chirping)

Here, at home.

- But not in public.

I'm not ashamed, Chan, and I don't want you to be.

(Jill sighs)

Well, Winter, I want you to check for any CCTV

in the streets surrounding the laundrette.

Another job to add to your list?

- Mm, will do.

- Sir, tech trace the troller to a phone account.

Rocco Templeton.

He's been trolling the people that are raising money

for his treatment.

Game face is back on, we got rehearsal.

Triple espresso, are you ready?

In fact, make it a quadruple, will you?

- How you holding up, Nigel?

- Ah, never better, my dear old Liv.

Right, are you raring to go?

- I'm having second thoughts.

I'm done.

We must cancel.

- Cancel?

Cancel?

If you cancel, I will do such things.

- What they are yet.

I, what they?

- What is it?

- Yet I know not.

But they shall be the terrors of the earth.

- There you go.

What she said.

(Rocco laughs)

Ooh, we're doing this for Rocco.

Did Olivier cancel?

No, he did not.

He performed all through the Blitz.

Gielgud gave his Hamlet three days after an appendectomy.

- Yes, but they were legends.

- So am I.

I'll have you know my egg you cheek

was compared to O'Toole.

- O'Toole?

Or Atol?

(Rocco laughs)

And I seem to recall you were banned from the West End.

That's why you came back here last year.

- Yes, yes, yes.

But think of what we can achieve here.

Do you really want to risk your professional reputation?

- Least I have one, sweet tea.

- Why, I order!

- Oh no, please, Mr. O'Toole.

- Nigel, maybe we can grab a coffee later

and go through some ideas.

- Soon, soon, promise.

I best go.

- I'll see you over there, too, sweet.

(cowbell rings)

(dramatic music)

- I'm not getting in that pile of junk.

I'm not an old man.

- No, but you are a sick boy, and you need some fresh air.

- I'm not a boy.

- Excuse me.

We won't keep you, but obviously you were in the building.

When Lewis Springfield was killed earlier,

did you see or hear anything unusual or untoward?

- No, I had my headphones on to drown out the rehearsal.

- The people that are helping you, the drag queens,

are you comfortable with who they are and what they're doing?

- Of course he is.

Why wouldn't he be?

- Because abusive messages have been sent to Malik Payne

and Evelyn Hardy from your mobile phone.

I lost my phone weeks ago, so I must have stolen it.

- That's a new one I got him with a new number.

To reduce the amount of people who can contact Rocco,

you need to control that.

He needs his rest.

- Will you raise enough from ticket sales

to get Rocco to America?

- Not quite.

We'll also be relying on donations on the night.

Nigel donated a ton of memorabilia for people,

people to bid on, so hopefully that'll help.

- And this clinic in Florida, is it the only one

or are there other clinics like it elsewhere in the world?

- No.

It's unique.

The only one of its kind.

- Oh, one more thing.

Do you have any idea why someone might accuse

Lewis Springfield of being a thief?

- No, none at all.

(dramatic music)

- Thank you.

- All right, I'm gonna go.

- I think Rocco's telling the truth about his phone.

- Possibly.

I'm more concerned about the extent to which his mother

controls access to him.

- She's just worried about him, isn't she?

'Cause he's ill.

- There's worried and then there's off the scale worried.

Just seems a little OTT perhaps.

(dramatic music)

- So, which one are you gonna wear?

- Never mind her.

What number are you going to do?

- Our friend's electric, obviously.

How about Electric Avenue?

Or ACDC, high voltage?

- I don't think so.

You know I can't sing, right?

- It's never stopped me.

You can lip sync if you want.

- Suddenly, slipping into something velour

with some cheesy snacks in the telly seems very tempting.

- Oh, yes! - Yes, finally!

- Merry Christmas.

- Good with electrics, are you?

- Sean helped.

Here for fittings, darling.

- I hope so.

- Recognize this.

Anyone got an item of clothing that's ripped?

Mr. Dawlish?

- Rocco?

(sniffling)

- What do you want, Chantelle?

- Ah, Chantelle.

We found this torn scrap of fabric earlier.

It was caught on a window here.

According to your father,

it matches one of his shirts that he says you wear.

You care to explain?

- I had nothing to do with Lois, I swear.

- She was coming to see me.

- What on earth was she doing then?

- Mrs. Templeton, please.

(sighing)

Because...

Because we're seeing each other.

- Oh, no, no, no, no, you're not.

Since when?

You're not wild, Rocco.

What were you thinking?

You're too sick to be involved with anyone.

- I'm sick, but I'm not dead yet.

- This is exactly why we didn't tell you.

Knew you would react like this.

Knew she wouldn't approve.

- Approve?

Of course not, why would I?

- You've done nothing wrong.

This still doesn't explain why you break in.

You work here, so you must have access to all areas.

- Ask Mrs. Crankey here.

- I do what I have to do for Rocco, young lady.

You'd do well to remember that.

Both of you would.

- How can we forget?

- It's for your own good.

While something happened,

the priority is to get him to Florida.

Get him wild.

Nothing else.

Nothing.

You know that.

- The reason why I have to break in

is because she locks him in.

Keeps him barricaded in that sick hole all day, every day.

- Right, that's enough.

I want you to leave.

For good.

- You're sacking me.

- Yes.

Now get out of my sight.

Stay away from my papa, stay away from my son.

- No, don't drive her away like you did dad.

Just because you were jealous of Lois.

- Truth hurts, does it?

- See?

- Go away.

Stay away.

I'm fine, I'm fine.

I'm fine, I'm fine.

I'm fine, leave me alone.

- Impressive.

You're clearly very talented.

- Wouldn't know how to look at me now.

- Enough of that.

You'll be fighting for it again before you know it.

- Do you really lock your son up, Mrs. Templeton?

- I don't lock him up at all.

It's nonsense.

Ridiculous teen drama, that's all.

- And what did Rocco mean about you being jealous of Lois?

- His father walked out on us.

There have been rumors.

- About your husband and Lois Springfield?

Did you believe them?

- I,

I don't know.

I confronted him, he denied it but left anyway.

- Why didn't you mention this earlier?

- Why would I?

Water under the bridge.

Lois and me buried the hatchet a long time ago.

- And yet I noticed that the pubs laundry

is done by a firm in Great Auburn,

even though Lois' business is around the corner.

- We have rooms, linen, bedsheets, duvets.

Too much for Lois' shop to deal with.

Now, if you'll excuse me, business to run.

, (door opens)

(door closes)

(door closes)

(door closes)

[MUSIC PLAYING]

(pages rustling)

(bell clanging)

(eerie music)

- Are you coming in to rehearse or what?

I've never seen you hesitate outside a pub before.

(sad music)

Are you okay?

- Not really.

I received a letter.

- Sir, would now be a good time to talk about--

- Showstoppers and torch songs.

- Excuse me, sir.

- Our homework for tonight, to find out all we can

about our drag queens, their recent shows, followers.

Think of it as research.

(door opens)

(somber music)

(sighs)

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Hello?

♪♪

♪♪

Something you need to tell me?

Mm?

I forgot to ask. How did it go with Jamie?

How did what go?

You were supposed to give him his annual assessment.

He's been worried about it.

Me too, you know. I dread that managerial stuff.

John, it's important.

I've been busy.

I know.

Well, social butterfly that I am,

I shall be at the King's arms later tonight, too.

Why?

I bumped into a very excited Olivia Dent.

She was telling me all about doing a play

with Nigel Bellamy next year.

Really? I didn't know she was a friend of yours.

Well, call her a friend, exactly.

Our paths have crossed.

In fact, she applied to be school head as well.

She was very gracious when I got it and she didn't.

Still, not everything is a competition.

Isn't it?

Mm.

Dicky.

You dropped this.

All set for tonight?

Can't wait.

To the victor of the spoils.

Coat, check. Bag, check. Keys, check.

Right. Let's get this show on the road, shall we, team?

I don't look too happy about it, do I?

More strategic team building's going well, then, I see.

Ah, Jamie. We were just discussing how John needs to adopt a more open door policy.

My door is clearly always open.

With safe boundaries, clear communication and transparency at all times.

Wouldn't you agree?

As Sarah pointed out, a team works best when we have the freedom to try,

the freedom to succeed and the freedom to fail.

But most of all...

You need to be able to communicate and make your voice heard.

Someone tried to kill Malick Payne.

Oh, why didn't you say so instead of standing there blathering away?

Come on.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Did you see or recognise the vehicle that drove at you?

No. It was black and battered and...

Sorry, it all happened so fast, that's all I know.

Not really a car-car kind of guy.

What about the driver? Male, female?

Gender fluid, I'm afraid.

I didn't see anyone.

What were you doing out there anyway? You were quite far out of the village.

After a nightmare day, I needed some air,

not to be nearly taken out by a silent assassin.

Well, maybe they weren't trying to kill you, maybe they were just trying to warn you.

About what? And whatever happened to having a conversation?

This is clearly about the show.

Someone's trying to stop it from happening.

Maybe you're one of the dominoes, lot?

If so, we queens need to stand firm.

We queens.

Yes, we queens. You know it.

Oh, don't worry. This is just what we're like, all the time.

It's just...

playful bands.

This is not really about the queens, is it?

Well, it would fit with the trolling.

Never mind the trolling. This is different.

I mean, I've always been trolled.

I was trolled before trolls were trolling. And it was even a thing.

If this is about something different, what could that be?

I really have no idea.

I think Mr. Payne is lying to us.

Let's find out everything we can about it, past and present.

I might have something on the dry cleaners.

CCTV on a passing bus caught the moment on camera when the shop was broken into.

Well, well, well.

I'll go and talk to Mrs. Bellamy.

Was it just pants?

No. Long johns, nip slips and ridge-grandis.

Every time I took anything into that place, something mysteriously disappeared.

I had to go commando more than once.

Too much information, mother.

So you broke in, turned the place upside down and wrote on the floor.

Could you not have just had a quiet word?

I'm not a quiet word kind of a person. Besides, it's the principal.

It's also breaking and entering.

When mother gets a bee in her bustier, stand back.

How well did you get on generally with Miss Springfield?

So-so. I wasn't happy when she didn't ask me to be one of her scrubbers.

Oh, her domino team, yes?

I had to start my own instead.

Narenda's bone shufflers.

Well, before we play any more games, we will have to charge you.

Oh, you can do whatever you want.

As long as I'm back before the tournament.

Over here, everyone. Frieseco, Topcho. Here they are. Come on.

Grab a drink. The event is bottomless.

As it very much were. So much stuff.

And here comes the ass. Domino Dicky.

Or is it Dominatrix Dicky?

Drink, darling.

Your mouth will get you into trouble one of these days.

Trouble? You'd know all about that, wouldn't you?

The tricky-dicky little life you lead, eh?

See this?

Ah, Mr Detective.

Please tell me you've changed your mind and you're joining us on stage.

Sadly not.

Shame. You're wasted on this job, I tell you. Wasted. Isn't he?

Oh, clearly.

Mind if I put those lovely hands of his to good use while he's prowling?

I mean, patrolling the room.

By all means.

You'd better make yourself useful, then, Wynter, unless you'd rather, um...

Oh, happy to leave the dominoes to you, sir.

Oh, very well. Eyes peeled.

Yeah.

Oh, oh! I'm really sorry.

No, it's fine. I've got it.

I've got it. I've got it.

Rocko. You're not ready. Come on. Get a wiggle on.

I'm not going.

You have to. This is all about you.

No, this is all about you. You made this all about me.

I never get a say. One minute too sick to go anywhere, do anything,

and now I'm well enough to go to this?

What if I got Chantelle down here?

Would you go then?

Let me try. Get ready.

I'll text her now.

OK, ladies, Electra Dreams presents to you...

Oh! My goodness.

I've seen some slippery suckers in my time, but really, that is, um...

Marvellous. Bloody marvellous.

Bring it in, girls. Come on, Davina.

We are going to give this lot a shot.

I've got to get this right.

I'm going to get this right.

I'm going to get this right.

We are going to give this lot such a night to remember!

We're almost ready out there. Once more into the breach, as they say.

Break a leg!

Ready for the show?

As I'll ever be.

Where's Jamie?

In the function room on bucket duty, don't ask. Flora, I didn't know you were coming.

You're busy for the world.

It's right up my boulevard.

(LAUGHTER)

Sarah.

I'll feed you a crotchet.

Hi.

He's very forward, isn't he?

Pleasure's all mine, Sarah.

And mine.

Ava Hartburn.

Oh, my kind of woman.

Please.

Enjoy the show gowns.

(GROANS)

(LAUGHS)

Welcome, please come in.

(APPLAUSE)

Come in now.

(APPLAUSE)

Cheers, gals!

Cheers!

(LAUGHTER)

Long time.

Are they going to meet us alive?

I do hope so.

Goad your loins, girls. We're up.

All that includes you, Dee Dee de Winter.

Fancy a spot of shibby shaking?

Still time to join us.

Do a little number.

I fought the law.

I shot the sheriff.

I think I'll just stick to my bucket, thanks.

I'm just here to keep an eye on things.

You look fantastic, by the way.

You're not going to tell me to break a leg?

Break a leg?

(CHEERING)

(BELL DINGING)

My distinguished guests,

not meaning to misgender anyone, obviously,

welcome all to this very special night.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking this stage is a bit manc.

But never fear.

I can work wonders on a shoddy erection.

Isn't that right, Sergeant?

Oh, and I don't mind telling you,

just in case you were wondering,

these bags under my eyes,

they're designer, darling,

oversized, high-end,

very expensive.

Oh, I'm so nervous.

Can you tell I'm nervous?

But then...

just one look at you, Winter Woo.

And everything's all right again.

# If love is a loser's game

# I'm the winner once more

# If you're not mine

# Then I'm the sinner from before

# All I wanted was a dream come true

# All I wanted was a man called you

# You can be up, but I'm going down

# Everybody's fool and nobody's clown

# Time waits for no man

# But I'll stay true

# Cos all I wanted was a man called you. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Get in!

The spotted dicks take the lead.

Never fear, Nellie's here.

Right, plenty of time for a comeback.

I'm not back on for 20 minutes.

No-one beats my mother.

Double or quits, winner takes all.

Deal.

Shuffle your bones, Dickie.

That's my boy.

And now, for one night, and one night only,

or maybe not,

please give a warm welcome to Davina Delish.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That's going to be your first.

Never that quick, paying a bill.

Come on, shorty, don't be shy.

Shush your legs.

Such a shame when alcoholics don't remain anonymous.

And anyway, these legs are way too good for the likes of you.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hang on, hang on.

MUSIC PLAYS

Come on...

MUSIC PLAYS

Yes!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Your cheeky so-and-so!

And remember, folks, stop being a drag and always be a queen!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And can I get an amen?

Amen!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

See, thanks.

Stay calm, everyone.

Please, everyone, stay calm.

Did anyone leave the function room before the lights went out?

I'm not sure I took a call about Malick Payne.

He's been lying to us.

OK, where are Sarah and Fleur?

They'll still be inside.

MUSIC PLAYS

Why am I even here?

We're talking to everyone,

but you were in the wings and you had time after the lights went out.

Apart from the performers, who else could have entered the dressing room?

Pretty much anyone.

There's access round the back.

Look, we're the ones being trolled.

We're clearly the targets here.

Lois was made up to look like some kind of grotesque queen.

Evelyn...

..is dead.

Evelyn who you disapproved of?

Seriously.

We had a love/hate relationship that doesn't make me a psycho murderer.

I really look like someone who'd kill over a frock.

OK, don't answer that.

Look, my point is, yes, we had our differences,

but unlike someone out there, we embrace, accept

and live with our differences.

We don't kill over them.

Fine sentiments, Mr Payne.

Then why don't you believe me?

Because you haven't been entirely honest with us.

You never satisfactorily explained where you were going

when someone tried to run you over.

And more to the point, you didn't leave London because of heartbreak.

You left London because your former housemate and lover

accused you of theft and assault.

We tracked down the court papers.

Still pending, I believe.

So, the truth, please.

There are two sides to every story.

I'm not proud of what I did or didn't do, for that matter, but...

But now I'm being blackmailed over it.

Someone found out about it and they've threatened to tell everyone here.

Unless...

I don't know.

I went to meet them down by the meadow.

I was on my way there when the van ran me down.

How were you sent these messages?

Not through your social media accounts. We looked into those.

By text on my phone.

We'll need to check.

Why didn't you tell us about this before?

Because I'm ashamed of what I did.

I've started again here.

I like it.

I finally feel as though I fit.

Like I have something to stick around for.

Maybe even get my happy ever after.

[Footsteps]

So, do you want to take Mr Payne in?

No, I think we can let him go.

I checked the phone that was sending the messages, pay as you go.

Question is, is the blackmailer also our killer?

What I don't understand is, if someone was blackmailing him, why would they try to run him over?

They wouldn't.

You head back to CID, see if we can find out who owns this van and who might be targeting our drag queens.

Who are you going to interview next?

Oh, that this too-too solid flesh would melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew.

[Music]

The light has dimmed too soon, and all our yesterdays...

Yes, yes, I understand that you're upset.

And yet I'm confused.

I saw you yesterday clearly having an altercation with Miss Hardy.

What sort of feral sullen and misshapen wretch am I?

A rather florid one, Mr Bellamy.

Plain English would be appreciated, please.

Yes, yes.

[Sighs]

I've been a pariah in the business for years.

Decades even.

Evelyn convinced me to get back out there.

We were planning a touring production of Romeo and Juliet.

Ah, yes, I know, I'm no spring chicken.

Hardly right for Romeo.

But McKellen played Hamlet in his 80s.

And where were you touring to?

Major cities around the world by any chance?

Rome? Milan? Paris?

Not that I know of.

London had been mentioned as a start, but none of those places.

Hmm.

And why the argument?

[Sighs]

I received a letter from her father.

Evelyn had put us in touch.

He was prepared to fund us.

I choked.

It freaked me out completely.

I told Evelyn I couldn't do it. I was too scared.

Shot to pieces.

Busted flush.

And Miss Hardy, what was she saying?

She was trying to convince me otherwise.

She was telling me how good I was.

That she'd support me.

Because that's the kind of person she is...

was.

So you were arguing because she believed in you?

Yes! She stuck her neck out for me.

Meant so much.

[Sighs]

Look at me, sir.

I have an open book.

I couldn't hide anything if I wanted to.

We've raised enough money.

More than enough.

So I can go ahead and book the flights.

Isn't it long now?

Can't go.

Not after what happened.

Of course we can.

For all the moral reason.

Everyone said so.

We can't let what happened stop the cause.

Evelyn and everyone else was working for.

We have to go.

It's for them.

I want to see Chantal.

Where's my phone? I can't find it.

No idea.

But now is not the time.

[Door opens]

Anything in the council meeting minutes?

Well, a dog fouled on the pavement outside the butchers.

And there is a general shortage of crab apples this year.

But apart from that, keep looking.

What about the van? Anything there?

Possibly.

The tire tracks are distinctive and consistent with the Mk5 Transit.

No second hand dealers lay claim to one, but a junkyard might.

So I'm checking that out now.

That'll be many of those around.

There is something else though.

I asked Tech to check out the social media accounts of everyone in the village.

Our troller consistently misspells homophobia.

He or she says it's misunderstood.

And?

In a message claiming to support the Queen's, Chantal Dawlish misspells it the same way.

[Music]

Okay, okay. You did good last night.

[Music]

Is this about Evelyn?

More specifically, it's about trolling.

And the messages we think you sent to Malick Payne and Evelyn Hardy.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Tried talking to the buttoned up codgers floating around the village.

Believe me, my daughter is not homophobic.

She's not great at spelling either.

Chantal, this might be better if it comes from you.

It...

It was me, Dad.

Why? I don't understand.

You were okay with it last night.

But I wasn't before.

I didn't want you associating with them.

I wanted to stop the event, put it off, make them think twice about going ahead so you wouldn't get any more involved.

Get too close.

The event was raising money to send your boyfriend to Florida.

Why jeopardise that? Why steal his phone and make out that he was sending the messages?

I didn't think it through. I panicked. I saw a chance and took it.

Never thought anyone would actually trace the messages.

It's not just about the Queen's.

It never really was about them.

You wouldn't understand.

Perhaps I understand more than you think.

Your username, Superman and me.

This is about your father, isn't it?

I don't want him up there for all the world to see.

I don't want to hear all the snarky comments afterwards.

I don't want people laughing saying he's a cross-dresser and no wonder Mum left because that's why she did.

You think that's why your Mum left?

Because I cross-dressed?

Yes. No.

I don't know, Dad. You never talked about it. Ever.

It's not why she left.

She left for another man.

I didn't want you to know that. I didn't want you to think bad of her or blame her.

So you let me think it was because of you?

I didn't realise you did.

It'll be up to Mr Payne whether he wants to press charges.

It'll be up to Mr Payne whether he wants to press charges.

(SIRENS WAIL)

(SIRENS WAIL)

(SIRENS WAIL)

It's OK, Rocco. You'll be fine. Yes, I need an ambulance urgently.

Elverton, come laterly. Where's your Mum? Is she in the pub?

The village green is sick teenager. It's an emergency.

Rocco, your Mum, where is she? Rocco, can you tell me?

We need to get Joe.

Liv, it's not what you think.

It's Rocco, he's collapsed on the green. He needs you now.

It's not what it seems.

It's everything it seems.

Tiki by name, tiki by nature.

Rocco!

What's happened? What are you doing here?

Who called the ambulance? I did.

What the hell did you do that for? How could you be so stupid?

Mrs Templeton, your son clearly needs help.

He needs nothing of the sort. I look after him. No-one else.

Leave my son alone. I said, leave him alone.

I'll take him from here. Mrs Templeton, at the very least,

he needs someone to check him over. He doesn't.

That'll only make him worse. He's over at the hospital.

I have his meds. He just needs rest before we go to Florida.

The clinic's on standby.

I've known about their affair for ages. I'm not stupid.

He always had some project going on. Some reason to be elsewhere.

Still, I guess, like all of us, he deserves his shot at happiness.

Nigel Bellamy and Evelyn Hardy were also planning a wedding.

They were planning to have a wedding.

And they were planning to have a wedding.

And they were planning to have a wedding.

And they were planning to have a wedding.

And they were planning to have a wedding.

And they were planning to have a wedding.

And they were planning to have a wedding.

And they were planning to have a wedding.

And they were planning to have a wedding.

And they were planning to have a wedding.

And they were planning to have a wedding.

And they were planning to have a wedding.

[PHONE RINGING]

Winter?

Located at the scrap yard that sold the van.

A cash buyer apparently.

Used a false name and said he wanted a ban for parts.

Meet me at the Dent's house.

I want to talk to a man about a project.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

We're here about your van.

I waited for Malik to leave the house, and I followed him.

Because?

I don't like drag queens, and I don't have enough.

I know it's not politically correct to say that,

but it's the truth.

This sorry excuse is for masculinity.

Not in Evelyn Hardy's case.

Clearly you had no time for Malik or the others.

I don't.

And I'm not ashamed to admit it.

No wishy washy won't as from me.

I think the event was a disgrace.

Thankfully none of everyone shares your opinion.

I have to spend my days massaging clients,

listening to almost everyone banging on about how wonderful that lot are.

Does that include Jill Templeton?

What happens in my private life has nothing to do with you.

She must think the drag queens are wonderful,

given their fundraising for her son.

You were out running when your domino rival, Ms. Springfield, was murdered.

And you were at the King's Arms last night when the lights went out.

Did you kill Lois Springfield or Evelyn Hardy?

No. I didn't kill anyone. I just had a pop at Malik.

You drove a van at him, Mr. Dent.

What is this? I told you what I know.

Please sit down, Mr. Dent.

I told you this has nothing to do with me.

I bought the van so I could use it as an excuse with Olivia,

pretend I was doing it up. OK?

Malik knew how to wind me up.

I think he sensed how much I despised him and played up to it.

I followed him and thought I could get my own back.

It was an in-the-moment thing. It wasn't planned.

I just wanted to scare him. That's all, I swear.

Earlier you said almost everyone thinks the drag queens are wonderful.

Who else shared your dislike of them?

Lois, obviously, but mainly...

...Lorinda Bellamy.

Take Mr. Dent down to the station and charge him.

I'll talk to Mrs. Bellamy.

I just want to check something first.

(DOOR OPENS)

Ah.

So, have you liberated my tighty-whity?

I can't say I have.

What I have done is I've read some court papers from Malik Payne's time in London.

Turns out I'm not alone. You also accessed them. Why?

Oh, no. What have you done now?

Another B in your bustier, perhaps?

Does your mother have a pay-as-you-go phone?

She does. Why?

It would seem she's been using it to blackmail Mr. Payne.

Well, what of it?

My son is worth way more than this.

(SIGHS)

Look at him. Film premieres, red carpet.

First night, and now...

...he's reduced to doing drag in the back room of a boozer in Elverton-cum-Latterley.

Is that a problem for you?

No.

Yes. It's humiliating. He's a star.

And you blame Mr. Payne for the state of your son's career, so you blackmailed him.

I just wanted him to stop and leave my boy alone, not just professionally.

What?

Oh, stop it. That lad is soft on you.

It's obvious to anyone with eyes in their head apart from you.

As soon as the event was over, I just wanted Malik to pack up and leave and take all that silly drag stuff with him...

...so my boy could concentrate on his real career.

And if he didn't?

Then I would tell the whole world his guilty secret.

Oh, Nigel.

You're worth more than some poxy back room event.

That's just where you're wrong, Mother.

I was an actor too broken to do what I do best.

That silly drag stuff, as you put it, has given me back my life.

You should be getting back out there, living your dream before it's too late.

I am! I was!

Evelyn's father was investing. I was making a comeback.

I'm just on hold at the clinic in Florida, chasing up Rocco's medical records.

They're resisting because of Haitian confidentiality.

Keep pressing.

I did find this, though.

Lois Springfield, chair of the village committee, voted for the drag event.

She hated drag. Why would she do that?

Maybe there was too much local pressure to veto it.

Maybe.

Evelyn Hardy's autopsy report.

I think I know cause of death, high voltage electric shock, presumably.

Electric shock, yes. Voltage, no.

It's the amperage that makes all the difference.

Something came up about the dress.

The eels were held together by nicker elastic,

kind sometimes used by a mature woman.

Maybe Mrs Bellamy was right about her clothes being stolen.

Okay, thank you.

The clinic in Florida has never heard of Rocco or Jill Templeton.

He's not booked him for any medical treatments or consultations.

Nothing.

Why lie about your son's illness?

One very simple reason, money.

And if Lois Springfield and Evelyn Hardy discovered the truth,

they might explain why they were killed.

Do you think Rocco's in on it?

There's only one way to find out.

I'll talk to Rocco. You keep an eye on Mrs Templeton.

It's locked. I'm locked in.

Are you okay?

I know your mother is locking you in.

Something happened.

I just need to ask your mum some questions about your condition.

I'm 16. I'm not a kid.

It's about me. Ask me.

I need to go to the bathroom.

When did your illness start?

We think about a year, a year and a half ago. Why?

What were the symptoms?

Me, the heartbeat was all over the place.

My tongue swelled up and that's when they ran blood tests.

That's how I was diagnosed.

Who told you about the diagnosis? A doctor?

No, mum did.

I was too sick to go to the hospital with her.

And what about when you went for scans, follow ups?

Mum didn't want me to hear anything bad

so she always spoke to the doctors privately.

Why are you asking?

Because the medications you're on aren't for leukemia.

In fact, if you have any kind of blood disorder there to be avoided

like nuts, chocolate and grapes, they can make things worse.

What's going on? Is everything okay?

Is everything okay?

You had no right to talk to Rocco without my permission.

In this instance, we had every right.

We were concerned for his safety.

I need to see my son.

We need to ask you a few questions first.

He needs me. He's desperately ill.

Desperate to talk to someone else about his condition will be more accurate.

We've checked. Your son doesn't have leukemia.

What he does have is a mother who is deliberately making him ill.

Mum?

Get off. Tell me what's going on.

I just wanted what's best.

How can this be what's best for your son?

And you were never going to any clinic because there's no illness.

I was going to explain when we got there.

Rocco's always dreamed of America.

We were going to go with his father but he left.

Why?

He said I was possessive and jealous.

I've lost one love of my life, I'm not going to lose the other.

I want Rocco's dream to come true.

So you happily accepted the proceeds of a charity event as a way to get out of the country.

I don't understand. I am sick.

You have anemia.

That's all.

You took dead leave in so badly.

I wanted to make it better.

You'll be fine when we get back.

You've been poisoning me.

You made me think I might be terminally ill.

It was only meant to be for a short time, for a holiday.

But then the village got carried away and the sick Rocco's sent and more people supported us.

I got tempted by a new life, a fresh start.

Away from here.

Did Lois Springfield know about this? Evelyn Hardy?

No one knew. Absolutely no one.

Oh my God, I promised I wasn't trying to hurt you. I'm sorry.

Mrs. Templeton, I have to ask you about something else.

We've discovered that at the parish council meeting, Lois Springfield voted in favour of the drag event, even though she hated it.

We need to understand why she would do that.

I'm not sure.

But because of the voting process that came down to either the Queens or Romeo and Juliet.

Why would Lois hate Romeo and Juliet more than the drag queens?

Olivia, maybe.

There were rumours that Lois and Dicky once had a thing.

And then Olivia infuriated Lois by trying to take over the parish council.

So Lois was getting back Olivia by voting in favour of the drag event?

Yes, I guess.

No.

Thank you, Mrs. Templeton.

An officer is waiting to accompany you to the station, where you will be charged for defrauding members of the public and for what you have done to your son.

Thank you.

Now, one last thing, Mrs. Templeton.

Dicky Dent, where did he fit into your plans?

He was planning on coming with me.

I needed a check on Nigel Bellamy. I think he might be in danger.

Mrs. Bellamy said that Nigel went for a walk.

Did she say where?

To the meadow.

Ready for your final curtain.

What is this all about?

It's all about us. It was always about us.

Till he let you down, another in a long line.

You know nothing about me.

I know more than you realise. Your life has just been a chain of disappointments, hasn't it, like a domino effect?

I wasn't asking for much. I wanted to be a head teacher, not a drama teacher. A chair, not a treasurer.

I wanted someone who would love me and stay with me, not a marriage to a lowlife serial ethario.

And then Nigel turns up, and you fell in love with him, didn't you?

And what better way to win him than putting on Romeo and Juliet together?

The lowest vetoed the performance in favour of the drag queens.

Despite me.

She also found your ever-so-ambitious tour list, didn't she?

She ripped it in two. Teased me about it.

Said I was a fantasist, to even dream of Nigel. She said she was going to tell everyone, and I couldn't have that.

I needed my chance to show Nigel that we were meant to be.

And Evelyn Hardy?

Told me about her father financing their play and tour. My play and tour.

Was that at the charity event when you dropped the glasses?

She said I should have known Nigel was leading me on. That's what he does. But she took my idea. My dream. And most of all, my Nigel.

But I never was your Nigel.

You flirted with me.

I flirt with everyone.

You talked with me. Took away all my past hurts and disappointments. You buried them forever.

You unlocked my heart, Nigel.

Listen.

I followed every second of your career. Every triumph. Every disaster. And then you were here.

You offered me something better, and then you took it away like everyone else. You betrayed me.

I don't understand.

Can't you see? You gave me hope. That's all I had? And then you took it from me. And now I want the pain to stop.

No! But soft! What light from yonder window breaks? It is the East, and Juliet is the Sun.

Arise, fair Sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief, that thou her maid art far more fair than she.

It is my lady. Oh, it is my love.

Oh, sit down please, Wynter. I have something to tell you.

I gather you might be looking for someone to play Juliet.

Indeed I might.

You do know that essentially I'm straight, right? I think.

No one's perfect.

Oh, good to know all the money raised for Rocco's trip will be returned to the community. Yeah, sure.

How was the assessment? I don't know what to say.

Good, eh? Glowing assessment, flawless performance. Of course, it's all about the training.

Which I think deserves a round of drinks, don't you? It'll be my pleasure.

Before you go, Sarah and I were just talking.

Police Federation annual bash. What do you think? Is Ava Hartburn looking at the new Morgan Doner?

Yeah, why not?

[music]

(upbeat music)