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1
00:00:09,577 --> 00:00:12,580
CHRIS ROCK:
When I was a kid, Thanksgiving
was my favorite holiday.
2
00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:14,782
All you had to do was eat...
3
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:18,619
Chris, pass the
macaroni and cheese.
4
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:19,653
...and sleep.
5
00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:22,190
Everybody in my family
loved Thanksgiving,
6
00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:23,657
except my mother,
7
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:26,094
because to her
it was just more work.
8
00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:27,328
(snoring)
9
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:30,064
But this year was going
to be different.
10
00:00:30,098 --> 00:00:31,599
All right, guys,
family conference.
11
00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:32,833
I just want to
let y'all know
12
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,469
that if you think all you're
going to do this Thanksgiving
13
00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:37,105
is sit around and eat and sleep,
14
00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:38,172
you got another
think coming.
15
00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:39,440
Uncle Louis
is coming over
16
00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:42,076
and I'm not doing
all the work by myself.
17
00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:43,111
What do we have to do?
18
00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:44,478
I want everybody to make a dish.
19
00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:46,280
I'll make the rolls.
20
00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:48,082
I can make the cranberry sauce.
21
00:00:48,116 --> 00:00:50,751
Which means she can open up
a can and dump it in a bowl.
22
00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:53,087
Chris, I want you to make
the mac and cheese.
23
00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:55,256
I don't know how to make
mac and cheese.
24
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,625
And I don't want to be
the one to mess it up.
25
00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:58,559
I like living here.
26
00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:00,661
Next to turkey,
the most important dish
27
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:03,631
at our Thanksgiving dinner
was the macaroni and cheese.
28
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:07,468
Making good mac and cheese
wasn't cooking, it was science.
29
00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:10,238
This year's Nobel prize
nominees are...
30
00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:12,473
Dr. Wan, for the cure
to cancer...
31
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:15,643
Dr. Stravinsky, for the
discovery of the missing link...
32
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:18,879
and Chris, for some
good-ass macaroni and cheese.
33
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,114
And the winner is...
34
00:01:20,148 --> 00:01:21,215
Chris!
35
00:01:21,249 --> 00:01:25,319
(cheering)
36
00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:29,890
That's okay, baby.
You'll do fine.
37
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:32,260
All you got to do
is follow the recipe.
38
00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:34,895
Sounds to me like
a recipe for disaster.
39
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:37,565
Captioning sponsored by CBS
PARAMOUNT NETWORK TELEVISION
40
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,339
* Oh... make it funky now!
41
00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:09,763
Rochelle...
42
00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:12,200
Where've you been?
43
00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:13,301
At the grocery store.
44
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:14,468
Oh.
45
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,170
Foxy Brown sugar...
46
00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:19,307
Telly Savalas eggs...
47
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:21,342
Dr. J stuffing...
48
00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:22,176
Chuck Berry cranberry sauce?!
49
00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:24,378
And a Larry Bird turkey.
50
00:02:24,412 --> 00:02:26,347
That won't even fit
into our oven.
51
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:29,217
These are name brands.
What's going on?
52
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:30,718
Nothing. Why?
53
00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:33,287
Is this because
your brother's coming?
54
00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:35,756
My Uncle Louis was
a successful chiropractor.
55
00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:37,325
Since he was younger,
56
00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:39,693
my father always felt like
he had to outdo him.
57
00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:41,262
I'll have a beer.
58
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:43,431
And you?
I'll have a red wine.
59
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:45,266
I'll have a red wine, too.
60
00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:46,400
A large.
61
00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:48,836
Man, you wouldn't believe
the stress I'm under at work.
62
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,371
I just got
15 new patients.
63
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:52,973
Man, I got so much
stress at work,
64
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:55,309
they had to hire another
guy to help me worry.
65
00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:58,246
I got her for
$150 below sticker.
66
00:02:58,279 --> 00:02:59,647
Really?
Yeah.
67
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,482
Oh, wow.
68
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:04,385
I got my whole car
for below $150.
69
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:07,988
There's $98.47
worth of groceries.
70
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,457
That's usually what he says.
71
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:11,325
Rochelle, we have
family coming over.
72
00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:13,227
I can't have them thinking
we can't afford nice things.
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00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:14,728
That's usually what she says.
74
00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:17,731
Baby, why do you feel like
you have to compete with Louis?
75
00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:19,400
This has nothing to do
with Louis.
76
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,269
I just want to have
a good dinner.
77
00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:24,472
Class...
78
00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:27,941
I've decided to give you
a holiday homework assignment.
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00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,310
Damn.
80
00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:31,512
Yes, Chris?
But it's a holiday.
81
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,947
And a very special one, Chris.
82
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:36,384
So for your assignment,
83
00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:39,320
I want you to talk
to family and friends,
84
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:40,954
and then write an essay
85
00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:44,592
on what you're thankful for
this Thanksgiving.
86
00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:46,460
I used to be thankful
for no homework.
87
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,800
(blows whistle)
88
00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,302
Everybody, up, up, up, up, up!
89
00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:56,036
Get up!
What?
What happened?
90
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,338
Time to cook.
91
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:58,372
Do we have to do it now?
92
00:03:58,406 --> 00:03:59,473
Yeah, I'm tired.
Me, too.
93
00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:01,041
Only ten hours
'till turkey time.
94
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,744
It's one second to what-the-
hell-is-wrong-with-you time.
95
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:05,446
What the hell is wrong with you?
96
00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:06,480
Look, I need
everybody's help.
97
00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:08,482
If we're gonna do this,
we're gonna do this right.
98
00:04:08,516 --> 00:04:11,419
Because my father really wanted
to impress his brother,
99
00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:14,388
my dad was cooking like
a quarterback running plays.
100
00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:16,757
Okay, Chris, while the macaroni
is boiling on the front burner
101
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:18,726
and you're grating the cheese
on the chopping board,
102
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:22,363
Tonya, I need you to break right
into the dining room
103
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:23,597
and prep the cranberry sauce.
104
00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:25,065
Now while the sauce is jiggling,
105
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:28,035
Tonya and Drew, I need you
to cover setting the table,
106
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:30,804
while I scrimmage to prepare
the rest of the meal.
107
00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:33,040
Now, Drew, I need you
to cut across
108
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:35,343
back into the kitchen,
bake the rolls,
109
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:37,778
and get them back to the table
in 15 minutes.
110
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,313
On three.
111
00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:40,814
One, two, three...
112
00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:41,949
Grease!
113
00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:45,052
What?
114
00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:46,354
Nothing.
115
00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:48,356
Looks like you got it
all handled.
116
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:50,491
I think I'm gonna go upstairs.
117
00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:53,060
But I need your help.
No...
118
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,828
because if something goes wrong,
119
00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:56,664
I don't want you blaming me.
120
00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:58,466
He's blaming her right now.
121
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,606
While we got ready
for Thanksgiving,
122
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,108
Mr. Omar came by
for thanks-taking.
123
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,410
Hi, Ms. Rochelle.
124
00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:10,844
Can I could borrow
a cup of flour?
125
00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:12,780
Oh, sure, no problem.
126
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,047
(knocking on door)
127
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,517
Can I borrow
a cup of gravy?
128
00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:19,787
(knocking on door)
129
00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:22,390
Can I borrow a cup?
130
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:24,458
Mr. Omar, why don't you
just come over
131
00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:25,393
for Thanksgiving dinner?
132
00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:27,595
I thought you'd never ask.
133
00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:28,929
See you later.
134
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:30,364
Meanwhile, my Dad
was still cooking like
135
00:05:30,398 --> 00:05:31,632
a quarterback running plays.
136
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,467
Hey, Chris, no, no, no.
Long, smooth strokes.
137
00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:34,468
Don't beat it.
138
00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:35,636
Did you butter the tops?
139
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,706
No.
Well, then it's not ready
to go in the oven yet.
140
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,708
Here, put the
butter on, gently.
141
00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:43,411
No, no, no, put that
in a glass bowl.
142
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:45,546
But last year, we used
the plastic bowl.
143
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:46,847
Last year, my brother
wasn't coming.
144
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:47,881
What's the difference?
145
00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:48,882
The difference is,
146
00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:50,551
last year my brother
wasn't coming.
147
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:52,686
Now put that in
a glass bowl. Please?
148
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:55,723
Dad, what are you
doing to that turkey?
149
00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:59,059
That turkey's about to ask
for a happy ending.
150
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:01,695
My mother always said
if you massage the turkey,
151
00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:03,163
then the meat
will be more tender.
152
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,499
Don't put too much
pepper on that.
153
00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:06,634
Got it.
154
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:08,969
Hey, Dad, can we
take a break?
155
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:10,604
Did Martin Luther King, Jr.
take a break?
156
00:06:10,638 --> 00:06:11,939
Did Moses
take a break?
157
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,574
Did Gandhi take a break?
158
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:15,175
He took a break from eating.
159
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,811
That looks pretty good, Chris.
Thanks, Dad.
160
00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:19,947
Remember, two hours.
I got to put the turkey in next.
161
00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:22,683
My mac and cheese
looked so good
162
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,885
Gandhi would've
snuck himself a plate.
163
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:29,122
While my father
was in the kitchen,
164
00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:30,591
my mother had
something cooking.
165
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,826
Yeah, come on
over, Vanessa.
166
00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,862
Uh-huh, Julius
is cooking.
167
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,465
His mother's
recipes, child.
168
00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:39,500
No, it's always
room for one more.
169
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:41,535
Okay, see you later.
170
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:44,071
What are you doing?
171
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:46,507
Well, you always invite people
over when I cook,
172
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:48,509
so I figured I'll invite
a few people over
173
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:49,577
since you're cooking.
174
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:50,778
Fine.
175
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:52,546
I'm going to take a quick nap.
176
00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:54,582
Can you wake me up,
so I can put the turkey in
177
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:55,816
when Chris takes
the macaroni out?
178
00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,017
All right, baby.
179
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,118
Thank you, babe.
180
00:06:58,151 --> 00:06:59,553
Since we got up so early,
181
00:06:59,587 --> 00:07:01,689
it was the first
Thanksgiving in history
182
00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:04,057
where people took a nap
before the turkey.
183
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:14,735
Of course she didn't
fall asleep on purpose,
184
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,904
but that didn't matter
to the oven.
185
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:19,773
(sniffing)
186
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:22,610
Oh, no.
187
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:23,644
(sizzling)
188
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:24,945
Oh, no!
189
00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:27,615
No!
190
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:28,716
(sizzling)
191
00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,618
That's not macaroni and cheese,
192
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:32,520
that's blackaroni and cheese.
193
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:44,632
That mac and cheese looked
how my father felt.
194
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,168
That's your mother's recipe?
195
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:49,202
How come you didn't wake me up?
196
00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:51,639
Because you woke me up
at 5:00 in the morning.
197
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:55,042
What are you going to do
about this mac and cheese?
198
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:57,511
I sent Chris down to
Doc's to get some more.
199
00:07:57,545 --> 00:07:59,947
You sent Chris to look
for macaroni and cheese
200
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,582
on Thanksgiving?
201
00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,551
That's like trying to find
candles on Hanukkah.
202
00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:04,618
Well, don't worry about it.
203
00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:07,588
Look, I'll start the turkey
and finish the cobbler.
204
00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:09,857
Well, where are you going
to cook the mac and cheese?
205
00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:10,891
In the oven.
206
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,593
When?
What are you
talking about?
207
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:15,028
The turkey's gonna take
five hours at 300 degrees,
208
00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:16,697
the mac and cheese
is gonna take
209
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,766
two hours
at 320 degrees,
210
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:22,670
then the cobbler's gonna take
45 minutes at 425 degrees.
211
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:23,904
You've already
lost two hours
212
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,639
with Three Mile Island
here, so I'd say
213
00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:27,908
we'll probably, we'll be
eating dinner around about
214
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,309
1:30 tomorrow morning.
215
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,579
That's if nothing else
goes wrong.
216
00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:34,181
My mother was bad at math,
except when it came to
217
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:36,617
multiplying
my father's headaches.
218
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:38,185
(knocking on door)
219
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:42,890
Happy Thanksgiving!
220
00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:44,592
(chuckling nervously)
221
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:45,593
Hey, big bro.
222
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,127
What's up, Louis.
How you doing?
223
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,596
Hi, Vanessa.
224
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:49,730
How are you,
Mr. Julius?
225
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:50,998
You know
Mrs. Watkins.
226
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,633
Not like you do.
227
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:54,001
Big man!
228
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,002
Hey.
All right.
229
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,737
Hey, go on in,
go on in.
230
00:08:58,305 --> 00:08:59,707
Louis.
Hey, man.
231
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:00,608
How you doing?
232
00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:02,643
So, I didn't want
to show up empty-handed.
233
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:03,811
So voilá.
Thank you.
234
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:04,912
What is it?
235
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:06,614
It smells delicious.
236
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:07,815
Uh-oh, watch her.
237
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,249
Ever since
her husband died,
238
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,218
she's been eating like
it's going out of style.
239
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,654
(laughing)
240
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,255
They're organic
green beans.
241
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,290
See, I toasted some almonds up
242
00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:18,425
and then I crushed them
243
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:21,662
and drizzled on some olive oil
that I pressed myself.
244
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,363
You sound like you
went to chef school.
245
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,899
No, I'm a chiropractor.
He went to spine school.
246
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,601
You didn't tell me your
brother went to college.
247
00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:29,036
You didn't tell me
you had a brother.
248
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,704
Hey, Uncle Louis!
249
00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:31,772
What's up, sweetie?
250
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:33,073
Hey, big man.
251
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,775
Hey.
Hey.
252
00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:36,744
Good seeing you.
Hey!
253
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:37,945
Why they don't
treat me like that?
254
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:39,279
'Cause you don't have a job.
255
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:40,648
Hey, where's Chris?
256
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:41,715
Oh, he went out,
he'll be back.
257
00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:43,016
Oh, okay.
Well, um,
258
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,618
everybody put your coats down
259
00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:46,019
and, you know,
we'll get started.
260
00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:47,755
You're looking
for macaroni
261
00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:49,757
on Thanksgiving Day?
262
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:52,760
Man, that's like looking
for candles on Hanukkah.
263
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:55,729
Well, I did make the mac
and cheese, but I burned it.
264
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:58,699
You don't have to worry.
I know just what to do.
265
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,901
You don't need
macaroni and cheese
266
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,770
to make macaroni and cheese.
267
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:03,771
You don't?
268
00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:05,739
No.
269
00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:08,642
You can make macaroni and cheese
out of anything.
270
00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:09,777
All you got to do is...
271
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:12,646
Whenever anyone says,
"All you have to do is..."
272
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:15,849
the next thing they say
is always something impossible.
273
00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:17,785
Dismantling a bomb
is easy.
274
00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:19,987
All you have to do
is identify the ground wire,
275
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,421
pull out your cutters...
276
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,323
and snip.
277
00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:28,061
You try it.
278
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,000
Base jumping is easy.
279
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,836
All you got to do is make sure
you have enough distance
280
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:39,172
from the base before
you pop your chute.
281
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:41,742
(voice echoing):
You try...
282
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:43,777
(loud crash)
283
00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:46,747
Juggling chainsaws
is easy.
284
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:50,718
All you have to do is keep one
saw in the air at all times.
285
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:52,886
(screaming)
286
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,723
All you have to do is learn
to live with one hand.
287
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,825
Dang, man, you want me to go
get somebody or something?
288
00:10:57,858 --> 00:11:01,729
Leave it in for 96 minutes
and that's it.
289
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,697
Simple.
290
00:11:03,731 --> 00:11:04,932
Doc, I can't do all this.
291
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:07,434
Why don't you just come by the
house and make it yourself?
292
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:08,836
I mean, you can stay
for dinner.
293
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:10,237
I'm working.
294
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:12,005
But I really need
your help, Doc.
295
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:16,777
Maybe I can close early.
296
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:23,450
Back at home, while my father
was doing all the work,
297
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,719
his brother was having
all the fun.
298
00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:26,920
Wherever he went,
my Uncle Louis
299
00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:28,255
was the life of the party.
300
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:29,790
He danced...
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
301
00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:37,030
Don't get so excited.
302
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,003
...he sang...
303
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,138
* Solid...
304
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,908
* I'm solid as a rock
305
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,910
(imitating bass)
306
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:54,281
* And nothing's changed it
307
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:58,285
* The thrill is still
hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. *
308
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,788
He even spun plates.
309
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,762
But what he seemed
to do best,
310
00:12:08,796 --> 00:12:10,197
was irritate my father.
311
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:13,233
* And now we're solid
312
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:15,936
* We're solid as a...
313
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,170
* Rock
314
00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:18,271
* Solid as a...
315
00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:20,941
Don't you see me trying to fit
this turkey in the oven?
316
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:23,110
Oh, yeah, just
move the rack.
317
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:24,211
Move the rack?
318
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,346
* Just move the rack.
319
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,783
I'm sorry, forgive me,
I didn't go to college.
320
00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:31,018
Where's that carving knife?
321
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:33,086
Hey, hey, Julius man,
I'm just trying to help.
322
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,454
You want to help me?
Yeah.
323
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:36,556
Get back out there and start
singing and dancing again.
324
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,025
That's how you
can help me.
325
00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:39,559
What is your problem, man?
326
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:40,828
I'm sick of you,
that's my problem.
327
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,229
Ever since you
come over here,
328
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:45,165
you been trying
to make me look bad.
329
00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:46,099
I go out of my way
to make a dinner for you,
330
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:47,234
and you out there doing
Ashford and Simpson.
331
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,836
I bought all
these groceries
332
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,170
and even used Mom's recipes.
333
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:52,172
Whoa, who told you
to use Mom's recipes?
334
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:53,306
You know Mama can't cook.
335
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,175
I didn't tell you
to do any of this.
336
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:57,544
All I said was
that I'm coming over.
337
00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:59,212
And you're the one
running around here
338
00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:01,148
looking like
the Galloping Gourmet.
339
00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:03,316
Forget it. I'm done.
340
00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:05,285
You can't stop cook...
341
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:06,453
You got people here, man.
342
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,588
They like you so much...
343
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,892
let's see how they
like your cooking.
344
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:14,494
Happy Thanksgiving.
345
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:26,173
Hi, Uncle Louis.
Hey, Mr. Chris.
346
00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:27,240
How you doing, man?
347
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:28,408
Good.
348
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:30,310
Well, who died?
349
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:31,879
My husband.
350
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:34,481
Oh, my condolences.
351
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:36,416
No, not just now.
352
00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:38,518
It happened a couple
of weeks ago.
353
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:41,154
Yeah, he got mauled by
a bear at the circus.
354
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:43,891
Tragic.
355
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:44,992
So you're a widow?
356
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,326
Yes.
All right, now.
357
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:48,495
It's her third time.
You gonna be number four?
358
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:50,163
You better leave
her alone.
359
00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:51,331
So where you been, Chris?
360
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:53,233
Oh, I been with Doc.
361
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,268
He's going to make his
famous macaroni and cheese.
362
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:57,270
LOUIS:
Oh, that's what
I'm talking about.
363
00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:59,339
Good.
364
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:00,974
Cook it fast. I'm hungry.
365
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,051
I'm sorry.
366
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:14,087
I didn't know it was
that important to you.
367
00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:16,456
It's... it's all right.
368
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,225
Baby.
369
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:20,427
What?
370
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,229
I think you broke
the turkey.
371
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:25,398
(both laughing)
372
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:33,941
(football game on television)
373
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:35,275
If I didn't do something,
374
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:40,147
this was going to be the most
depressing Thanksgiving ever.
375
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:42,282
So...
376
00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:46,619
Uncle Mike, is your back
still hurting?
377
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:49,022
Oh, yeah. My back as been out
for 11 years.
378
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:51,258
It's an old football injury.
379
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:52,459
I didn't know
you played football.
380
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:55,395
I don't. I was
watching football
381
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:56,263
and fell off the couch.
382
00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:57,497
Does your back hurt now?
383
00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:59,967
Yeah.
Show me where.
384
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,302
Right here.
385
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:03,403
Right back there.
386
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,572
Yeah, right, right,
right there.
387
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:07,040
That's your L-5.
388
00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:08,541
I can fix that for you.
389
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:11,444
I don't know. I've been
knowing a lot of doctors
390
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:13,380
and they told me
it was all chronic.
391
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:17,017
Chronic? What doctor has he
been going to-- Dr. Dre?
392
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:19,386
Doctors-- they don't know
what they're talking about.
393
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,955
All right, here, here.
394
00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:23,090
Ready?
395
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,224
(loud crack)
396
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,225
Oh, geez.
397
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,560
I feel better.
398
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:30,030
Oh, good. Now you
can get a job.
399
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:31,598
I'm not cured, Rochelle.
400
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,300
It's just in remission.
401
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,436
I'm next.
402
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:39,072
Cross your arms.
403
00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:41,608
Okay, I'll get this
out of here.
404
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:43,443
They look happy now,
405
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:45,678
but wait till he sends
them the bill.
406
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:48,315
(cracking)
407
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:52,152
(crack)
Oh.
408
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:54,221
Oh, right here.
409
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:56,623
While everyone was inside
feeling better,
410
00:15:56,656 --> 00:16:00,227
my father was outside
feeling worse.
411
00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:02,329
Whoa, whoa, don't throw
that away.
412
00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:04,631
Is that burnt mac and cheese?
413
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:05,632
Yeah. Why?
414
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:08,201
It's just the way
I like it.
415
00:16:08,235 --> 00:16:09,302
He wants that blackaroni,
416
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:12,039
'cause he's on that crackaroni.
417
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:16,643
Hey.
418
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:18,011
Hey.
419
00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:19,446
You all right?
420
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:22,349
Yeah. You?
421
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:24,051
Me? Yeah.
422
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:25,452
All right.
All right.
423
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:28,221
All right.
All right.
424
00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:31,324
Hungry?
425
00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:33,793
Yeah.
426
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,395
Eat?
427
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,497
Yeah.
428
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:38,565
Cool.
429
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:39,799
Cool.
430
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:42,102
My father and uncle
loved each other,
431
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:43,436
And even though
they didn't
432
00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:45,672
always get along,
deep down inside
433
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,340
here's what
they really wanted to say.
434
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:49,276
Hey. You all right?
Hey. Yeah.
435
00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:50,343
You?
Yeah.
436
00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:51,411
All right.
Hungry?
437
00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:52,545
Eat?
Yeah.
438
00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:53,680
Cool.
Cool.
439
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:56,183
We couldn't wait
for the turkey,
440
00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:58,285
so Doc's mac and cheese
moved from side dish
441
00:16:58,318 --> 00:16:59,719
to main course.
442
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,389
Rolls, mac and cheese,
cranberry sauce.
443
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:03,623
You know, I haven't had
444
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:05,392
a meal like this since
I kicked my habit.
445
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:08,395
Yeah, I'm glad I don't have to
watch you at the store no more.
446
00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:09,396
(laughing)
447
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,331
I know that's right.
448
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:14,734
You know what, this is the best
Thanksgiving I've had in years.
449
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:16,736
VANESSA:
Not to mention the fact
you fixed my back.
450
00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:19,072
And these green
beans, they good.
Thank you.
451
00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:22,542
Ooh, Doc, this macaroni
and cheese is fantastic.
452
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:24,077
It's the best
I've ever tasted.
453
00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:25,512
The best you'll ever taste,
454
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,547
unless you invite me
to next Thanksgiving.
455
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:31,451
Hey, Rochelle, why I got to be
over where with the kids?
456
00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:34,521
'Cause everybody at that table
lives with their mother.
Anyway...
457
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:37,124
JULIUS:
'Cause only working people
at this table.
458
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:38,558
(laughing)
459
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:43,096
(football game on television)
460
00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:44,331
Oh, well, since you're all here,
461
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:45,565
I was wondering
if you could help me
462
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:46,566
with my homework assignment.
463
00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:48,101
What do you need, baby?
464
00:17:48,135 --> 00:17:49,702
I need to find out what
everybody's
465
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,504
really thankful for
this Thanksgiving.
466
00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:54,341
Well, I'm thankful I
didn't have to eat
467
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:55,742
any of your burnt
mac and cheese.
468
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:59,246
I'm thankful for Carla,
Leslie, Pam, Christie,
469
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:02,582
Michelle, Tanisha,
and Miss Patterson.
470
00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:07,220
I'm thankful for Mrs. Tyler,
Mrs. Jackson, Mrs. Watkins,
471
00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:10,723
Mrs. Turner, Mrs. Perkins
And Mrs. Patterson.
472
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:13,626
Well, I'm thankful that I don't
have to take no mess,
473
00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:15,862
'cause my man has two jobs.
474
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:18,431
I'm thankful my son
has a job.
475
00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:21,501
(as Sammy Davis Jr.):
I'm, uh... I'm thankful for
the world's greatest
476
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:22,769
older brother, man,
and I mean that.
477
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,171
Hey, big round of applause
478
00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:25,605
for the man who made
Thanksgiving possible,
479
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:26,806
ladies and gentlemen.
480
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:29,676
I'm thankful I don't have
to sit with those kids no more.
481
00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:32,312
I'm thankful I read
this book by Larry X.
482
00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:35,515
I mean, this brother
is so hip.
483
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,884
He breaks down the real deal
on Thanksgiving
484
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:39,452
as it pertains to the
disenfranchised
485
00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:42,622
minorities of this
capitalist society.
486
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:43,790
And it's
autographed, too.
487
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:46,493
You better read it.
488
00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:47,827
Thanks.
489
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,696
While Doc had given me
some food for thought,
490
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:52,299
my father couldn't take
his thoughts off of food.
491
00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:53,333
Come on, get up.
492
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:55,635
Tonya, wake up.
493
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:58,438
Chris, Chris, wake up.
494
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:01,308
Drew, Drew, get up.
495
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,480
Oh, Julius.
496
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:10,250
It's beautiful.
497
00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:11,818
You didn't think he was going
to waste
498
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,853
$95 worth of brand name food.
499
00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:17,690
* Girl, you're smiling
like a baby *
500
00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:23,763
* I ain't had nothing
like your love *
501
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:27,700
* You're the one that I've been
thinking of... *
502
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:29,536
Even though
I didn't like the idea
503
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:30,937
of homework over Thanksgiving,
504
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:34,807
I did learn what Thanksgiving
was all about.
505
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:38,511
"To me, Thanksgiving means
family and togetherness.
506
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:39,812
"Thanksgiving came about
507
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,914
"when the Pilgrims
landed on Plymouth Rock.
508
00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:45,218
"The Indians greeted them,
provided them shelter,
509
00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:46,486
"taught them how to grow corn
510
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:47,820
"and how to prepare
for the winter.
511
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:48,888
"They went on to cook
512
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:50,890
"one of the greatest meals
the pilgrims every ate.
513
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:54,561
"And in appreciation
for showing them how
514
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:57,664
"to prosper and survive
in this brave new world,
515
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,499
"the pilgrims killed
the Indians
516
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,401
"and created a holiday
in their honor.
517
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:04,437
"So on this
Thanksgiving,
518
00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:06,773
"I'm thankful for
my family, my friends,
519
00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:08,608
"but most importantly,
I'm thankful
520
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:10,710
that I'm not a Native American."
521
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,445
(one person claps)
522
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:21,588
Happy Thanksgiving.
523
00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:22,855
* Everybody hates Chris.
524
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,992
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
525
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,467
* Oh... make it funky now!
34512
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