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hoetinkhof79
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Come on.
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Where are you?
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Oh, good cat.
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Here we go...
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Mildred! Do you want something to eat?
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Ah, Mum, be quiet.
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What, I can't hear you?
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Can you make me some toast?
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Sure.
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And I know just how you like them.
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Razor-sharp triangles. No crusts.
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Yeah, that's right.
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One more thing, Mildred.
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What? I'm in the middle of something here...
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What are the magic words?
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Please.
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Well, that's a magic word, singular.
19
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I want the magic words, plural.
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Mum, I'm trying to catch Jonesy
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in an intricate homemade trap.
22
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Can this wait?
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Sorry. Why, in the name of buggery,
24
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are you trying to catch our poor, sweet, innocent cat?
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- Practice. - For?
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For the Panthera pardus
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that's been haunting our wilderness of late.
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You may know him by his nom de plume,
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the Canterbury Panther.
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Panthera pardus, nom de...
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- Nom de plume. - Nom de plume.
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You sure do know a crap-ton of words,
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don't you, my girl?
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I'm a card-carrying bookworm. So,
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yes, I sure do know a crap-ton of words.
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Mmm...
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But do you know the magic words?
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Mum...
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Oh, come on, just say them.
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I'll go and get your toast triangles.
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I... love... you.
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Go on...
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With... all...
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of my...
45
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heart.
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Was that so difficult?
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Yes. Actually, yes.
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Oh, shh.
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It was.
50
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Yes. There we go, puss.
51
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That's it.
52
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Yes.
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Come on, Jonesy.
54
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And...
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dinner is served.
56
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Fah!
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Jonesy?
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Great!
59
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Mum?
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If you sneak up on me again, I will pee myself.
61
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And you're gonna have to clean it up.
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Mum?
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Mum?
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Mum!
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I have some good news, and I have some bad news.
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The bad news is
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you're gonna need a new toaster.
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Okay? That one's kaput.
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The good news is, you're not gonna need a new mum.
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Yay.
71
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Yeah, your toaster exploded.
72
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I don't know what the odds are of that happening.
73
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But, you know the button you push
74
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when you start the toasting process?
75
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,443
Well, that button was faulty
76
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and it gave your mum quite the shock,
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her body went all... jelly-like,
78
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and she flew backwards, and then her head hit the bench,
79
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and then she fell into a coma.
80
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A coma?
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Yeah. Well, she's not dead.
82
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Okay? So don't worry about that.
83
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Ah, but she's not fully alive either.
84
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She's in this wonderful dreamlike netherworld.
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I know what a coma is.
86
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Will she be okay?
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Well, you listen to me carefully.
88
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Okay, Mildred?
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I'm not talking to you as a doctor would to a child.
90
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Alright? I'm talking this soul...
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to soul.
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Will she be okay? Yes or no.
93
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Well, you... Yes.
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But she has what's called a brain bleed.
95
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Okay? So we're gonna need to keep her in here
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for at least a week
97
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until she stabilizes.
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A week?
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But she was supposed to take me camping tomorrow.
100
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I had it all worked out.
101
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She finally took some time off work. She promised.
102
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The camping's gonna have to wait,
103
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I'm afraid, Mildred.
104
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But first things first.
105
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Where's your dad?
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Hello.
107
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I'm Strawn. Strawn Wise.
108
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Mildred's biological father.
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The magician.
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Illusionist.
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Magician sounds...
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cheap.
113
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- Can I come in? - Can I see some ID?
114
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Yeah. It stands for Identification Document.
115
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I would love to show you some ID, but there's a problem.
116
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You see, you actually have it.
117
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- I have it? - That's right.
118
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What do you mean, mate?
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You have my ID.
120
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I do? Where?
121
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Just...
122
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I have to say,
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normally, I find magicians skin-crawlingly embarrassing,
124
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but you're actually half-decent.
125
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Access granted.
126
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Oh, look, mate, just to let you know,
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I didn't hug the girl.
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Even though Lord knows she needs one.
129
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I'm sorry...?
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Your daughter.
131
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I specifically didn't hug her.
132
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Why?
133
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I've heard so many horror stories. Okay?
134
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You can't be too careful
135
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with other people's kids these days.
136
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Touching them and...
137
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even hugs are a no-go.
138
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Yeah, I... I guess so.
139
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Right. I'm off. Take care of the girl.
140
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She's in there, glued to a book, as always.
141
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I'm next door on the right, if you need anything.
142
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- Yeah, thanks. - Okay.
143
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- Mm? - No.
144
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Mildred, it's me. Strawn. Your dad.
145
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I just flew halfway across the world
146
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to be with you, little lady.
147
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And I'm sorry about your mom, but she's gonna be okay.
148
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It's official.
149
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A licensed medical professional has officially told you
150
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she's officially going to be okay?
151
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Is that what you mean by "official"?
152
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,508
Well... no, I... I mean,
153
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she's gonna be okay.
154
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I'm sure.
155
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Pretty sure.
156
00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:31,792
Hey. Do you want to see something amazing?
157
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I said... do you want to see something amazing?
158
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Will it take a long time?
159
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- No. - Fine.
160
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Show me something amazing.
161
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Go on. Pick a card.
162
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,788
Now, look at it.
163
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Don't tell me what it is.
164
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Put it back in the deck.
165
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Alright.
166
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Is this your card?
167
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No.
168
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I'm sorry.
169
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It sounded like you said no.
170
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It sounded like I said no because I did, indeed, say no.
171
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Okay.
172
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- Is this your card? - I'm afraid it's not.
173
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Okay.
174
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Is that your card?
175
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I can lie and say yes if it helps.
176
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- This? - No. Sorry.
177
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,267
- This? - No.
178
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- This? - Look, it's okay--
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- God damn it. - Hopefully...
180
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Now... kindly, remove your jaw from the floor and tell me.
181
00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:03,450
Is that your card?
182
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Right.
183
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:11,390
Before I get to whether that is or isn't my card,
184
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let me get one thing straight.
185
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Yeah. What's that?
186
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:17,663
Am I right in assuming
187
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that you snuck around to the back garden
188
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to glue that card to the window
189
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before scrambling back around to ring the front doorbell?
190
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No.
191
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It's... it's called magic.
192
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I used the power of magic.
193
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Did you or did you not?
194
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Come on. I won't be angry with you.
195
00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:39,652
I just... want you to tell me the truth.
196
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:46,092
Fine. Yeah. Yeah, okay.
197
00:13:46,093 --> 00:13:48,528
But that is your card...
198
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right?
199
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:54,601
Wrong.
200
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:56,768
It is your card.
201
00:13:56,769 --> 00:14:01,040
It is not my card.
202
00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:02,442
- Of course, it is. - Fine.
203
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I give up. It's my card.
204
00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:08,547
Bravo, well done. Spectacular magic trick.
205
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:09,983
Are you being sarcastic?
206
00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:12,652
Hmm.
207
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:18,457
Um... how about you show me your room?
208
00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:28,034
I can't say I spend much time in 11-year-old girls' bedrooms,
209
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:30,869
but this isn't what I expected.
210
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,905
What did you expect?
211
00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:34,941
A pink dollhouse?
212
00:14:34,942 --> 00:14:40,312
Pictures of palaces and unicorns and princesses?
213
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,514
Basically.
214
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,616
What was on your walls when you were 11?
215
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:48,155
A lot of David Copperfield posters.
216
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,722
You like David Copperfield?
217
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,724
Like? More like love .
218
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,961
Same.
219
00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:57,063
I'm borderline obsessed, to tell the truth.
220
00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:59,831
David Copperfield was my life growing up.
221
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:03,003
Okay. So, we have something in common.
222
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:05,071
It is a good start.
223
00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:06,838
Yeah.
224
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,674
Really good start.
225
00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:11,344
What are the odds of us having the exact same favorite book?
226
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:15,514
Oh. No, I... I'm talking about
227
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:16,949
David Copperfield,
228
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:19,419
the illusionist from the 1990s?
229
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:22,955
Oh.
230
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:25,591
I am talking about David Copperfield,
231
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:29,796
the Charles Dickens novel from the 1840s.
232
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:33,966
Oh, I... I don't know what that is.
233
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:35,101
Guess we don't have
234
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:36,703
anything in common, after all.
235
00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:55,255
What's this?
236
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,157
This...
237
00:15:58,158 --> 00:15:59,625
is the Canterbury Panther.
238
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,995
You could say it's our version of Bigfoot.
239
00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:04,496
There's been sightings for decades,
240
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:07,066
but no one's ever caught definitive proof.
241
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:08,667
So, they're offering 50,000
242
00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:11,903
for actual video evidence of its existence.
243
00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:14,140
Ah, I don't really know New Zealand money yet.
244
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:16,008
Is that a lot?
245
00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:18,644
Yes. It's a lot of money.
246
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:21,781
Money Mum and I could really use right now.
247
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:31,258
She was supposed to take me camping to search for it.
248
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,693
Oh well.
249
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:35,795
I mean...
250
00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:38,830
I could take you. Maybe?
251
00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:43,002
Really?
252
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:45,904
Sure.
253
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:48,440
Might help to take your mind off of everything with your mom.
254
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:51,177
I mean, I don't know the first thing about camping.
255
00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:54,346
I've never been. But, you know, maybe we could go.
256
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,216
Just... quickly?
257
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:58,985
Are you sure?
258
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,968
Ah, you know... now that I think of it,
259
00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,371
I... I don't think it's such a good idea.
260
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:22,342
We leave at first light.
261
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:24,910
Mmm.
262
00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:00,847
Hey, stick with me. We'll be fine.
263
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,518
You know where you're going, right?
264
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:25,738
Hey!
265
00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:29,841
Hey, there!
266
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:30,942
Hello!
267
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,279
Hey there!
268
00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:37,717
Hey!
269
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:39,786
I know you.
270
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:41,853
You're Strawn Wise.
271
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The magician, right?
272
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:46,658
Illusionist. But yes.
273
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I just knew it was you.
274
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:51,963
And who's this cute little nipper?
275
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:54,300
That is my biological daughter, Mildred.
276
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Biological daughter. Is she?
277
00:18:57,604 --> 00:18:59,571
Hi there, Mildred. I'm Reginald.
278
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:00,907
You look like a Reginald.
279
00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:03,409
That name suits you.
280
00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:05,312
You have a perfect name-to-face correspondence.
281
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:12,751
I used to watch your show on the telly.
282
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:14,986
Oh! Thanks.
283
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,488
Thank you. That really means a lot.
284
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,156
Yeah. I used to watch after my night shift.
285
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,525
It was on at 4:00 am.
286
00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:21,393
Real prime-time stuff, then.
287
00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:23,463
It's such a shame we don't get it there anymore.
288
00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:26,832
Nobody gets it anymore.
289
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,734
- What? - It's no longer running.
290
00:19:28,735 --> 00:19:30,270
Here or anywhere.
291
00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:33,104
It was cancelled.
292
00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:35,608
Halfway through the first season, actually, so.
293
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,176
Yeah, I... I don't have a show anymore.
294
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,279
Oh.
295
00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:41,713
I guess that other guy
296
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:43,382
sort of hijacked the spotlight a little bit.
297
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:44,517
Is that fair to say?
298
00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:47,886
Who? David?
299
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,621
Yeah, yeah.
300
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:51,189
Never liked him, myself.
301
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,191
Seamed up his own arse, from the looks of it.
302
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,626
Oh.
303
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:56,896
Thank you. That's very kind of you to say.
304
00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:01,901
Can you still levitate?
305
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:04,003
I certainly can.
306
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,239
What are you waiting for? Go on.
307
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:10,041
What?
308
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,578
Now? Here?
309
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:14,880
Yeah! Go on, Strawn.
310
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,249
Levitate for an old fan.
311
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:23,422
Is levitation a lengthy process?
312
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:27,426
I'm asking because we've got a lot of ground to cover today.
313
00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:28,528
Okay!
314
00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:39,339
I can feel the power... specifically in my feet.
315
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:44,243
I'm talking about the power of levitation specifically.
316
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:54,587
Oh.
317
00:20:56,222 --> 00:20:57,689
Oh! That's mad!
318
00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:59,591
Is this actually happening?
319
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:02,994
Is it...? He's actually bloody levitating.
320
00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:04,262
Yeah, no.
321
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,664
He's not levitating.
322
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:07,265
What do you mean?
323
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,200
He's put all his weight on the ball of one foot
324
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:11,703
while lifting both heels off the ground,
325
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:14,105
thus creating the illusion of levitation
326
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:15,408
from your vantage point.
327
00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:20,613
Oh yeah. You're right.
328
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:24,883
Cheers, Strawn.
329
00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:26,452
Cheers for single-handedly destroying
330
00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:27,619
my belief in the power of magic.
331
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,389
Much appreciated, bruv.
332
00:21:32,258 --> 00:21:33,124
Do you...
333
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,594
want an autograph?
334
00:21:36,563 --> 00:21:37,597
Yeah, go on.
335
00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:53,879
Ah, you-- you didn't have to, you know,
336
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,881
shatter the illusion back there.
337
00:21:55,882 --> 00:21:58,517
You were conning him with fake magic.
338
00:21:58,518 --> 00:22:00,218
It was painful to watch.
339
00:22:00,219 --> 00:22:01,853
What?
340
00:22:01,854 --> 00:22:03,555
You'll have to pardon my bluntness.
341
00:22:03,556 --> 00:22:06,057
I'm what's commonly referred to as a "brutal realist".
342
00:22:06,058 --> 00:22:07,659
A brutal realist who actually believes
343
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,828
there's a real giant panther out here.
344
00:22:09,829 --> 00:22:12,664
Panthers exist. Levitation doesn't.
345
00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:14,200
That's the long and short of it, I'm afraid.
346
00:22:21,307 --> 00:22:22,341
Keep going.
347
00:22:24,944 --> 00:22:25,978
Peanut butter and jelly.
348
00:22:26,979 --> 00:22:28,447
What do you think?
349
00:22:28,448 --> 00:22:30,216
Old Strawn's got some sandwich-making skills?
350
00:22:32,084 --> 00:22:34,020
Must be an American delicacy.
351
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:37,623
Can't say I'm a fan, myself,
352
00:22:37,624 --> 00:22:39,625
but calories are calories,
353
00:22:39,626 --> 00:22:41,893
and they're in short supply out here.
354
00:22:41,894 --> 00:22:44,095
You know, you don't talk like a...
355
00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:45,531
Like a normal child?
356
00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:46,932
I know.
357
00:22:46,933 --> 00:22:48,299
I wasn't gonna put it that way, exactly.
358
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:49,968
But, yeah.
359
00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:51,870
My point is, you don't have to dress everything up
360
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:54,372
to sound more sophisticated than you are.
361
00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:56,708
Yeah. Says the magician
362
00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:59,911
who insists on being called an illusionist.
363
00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:01,747
Ah...
364
00:23:01,748 --> 00:23:02,814
I'm...
365
00:23:15,027 --> 00:23:16,261
So.
366
00:23:16,262 --> 00:23:17,497
How are you finding school?
367
00:23:18,364 --> 00:23:20,066
Are you... having a hard time?
368
00:23:21,501 --> 00:23:24,069
Why would I be having a hard time, Strawn?
369
00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:25,872
- No, no, I didn't... - If you must know,
370
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:29,140
I'm top of my class.
371
00:23:29,141 --> 00:23:30,710
Straight A's all the way.
372
00:23:32,178 --> 00:23:34,346
I'm captain of the netball team, and...
373
00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:39,150
believe it or not, I was officially voted
374
00:23:39,151 --> 00:23:41,419
The Most Popular Girl In School last winter.
375
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:42,522
Wow.
376
00:23:44,356 --> 00:23:48,494
My boyfriend, Clarence, Clarence Hargreaves,
377
00:23:48,495 --> 00:23:51,697
is the dreamiest guy in the entire school.
378
00:23:51,698 --> 00:23:54,800
He looks like Hercules
379
00:23:54,801 --> 00:23:57,002
and his hair smells like apricot jam.
380
00:23:57,003 --> 00:23:59,771
A hard... a hard time?
381
00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:02,340
I have a hard time staying away from the place.
382
00:24:02,341 --> 00:24:03,942
School is like heaven for me,
383
00:24:03,943 --> 00:24:06,779
academically, athletically, and socially.
384
00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:11,150
What? Really?
385
00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:15,220
No, not really.
386
00:24:15,221 --> 00:24:17,490
I despise school, and everyone in it.
387
00:24:19,191 --> 00:24:20,391
We're hemorrhaging daylight
388
00:24:20,392 --> 00:24:22,060
faster than I'm comfortable with.
389
00:24:22,061 --> 00:24:23,395
Let's pick up the pace, shall we?
390
00:24:29,869 --> 00:24:31,236
Jesus...
391
00:24:31,237 --> 00:24:32,671
What are the chances of a mythical panther
392
00:24:32,672 --> 00:24:33,773
popping up here?
393
00:24:49,221 --> 00:24:50,689
Jesus!
394
00:24:55,995 --> 00:24:57,395
- Do you think...? - Yes.
395
00:24:57,396 --> 00:24:59,298
Yes, I do.
396
00:25:00,299 --> 00:25:02,034
One false move out here, and...
397
00:25:03,235 --> 00:25:04,804
that could be us.
398
00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:14,946
He's here. He's here and he's watching us.
399
00:25:25,992 --> 00:25:27,759
Oh God.
400
00:25:30,630 --> 00:25:32,832
Oh... Sorry.
401
00:25:33,532 --> 00:25:34,533
Hmm.
402
00:25:35,367 --> 00:25:37,169
Not so mythical now, is it?
403
00:25:41,641 --> 00:25:42,675
Come on.
404
00:26:54,747 --> 00:26:56,547
Strawn!
405
00:26:56,548 --> 00:26:58,417
Strawn?
406
00:27:02,621 --> 00:27:03,723
Having fun?
407
00:27:04,757 --> 00:27:06,825
Soaking it all in, aren't we?
408
00:27:06,826 --> 00:27:07,994
Do you want me to help?
409
00:27:09,528 --> 00:27:11,097
I thought you'd never ask.
410
00:27:20,239 --> 00:27:21,673
What can I do?
411
00:27:21,674 --> 00:27:23,109
You could start a fire.
412
00:27:24,376 --> 00:27:26,511
How does one... do that?
413
00:27:26,512 --> 00:27:28,880
I'd give you a tutorial, but...
414
00:27:28,881 --> 00:27:30,581
at present,
415
00:27:30,582 --> 00:27:34,352
I'm kinda in the middle of putting up our bloody tent.
416
00:27:34,353 --> 00:27:36,187
I have an idea.
417
00:27:38,991 --> 00:27:40,692
How did you...?
418
00:27:40,693 --> 00:27:42,360
It's called magic.
419
00:27:43,696 --> 00:27:45,664
Actually, it's called a thumb flint.
420
00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:49,969
An essential weapon in any illusionist's arsenal.
421
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:56,642
I just realized that I only brought one.
422
00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:10,088
So...
423
00:28:10,089 --> 00:28:11,190
How's your mom doing?
424
00:28:14,326 --> 00:28:16,594
She's in an induced coma,
425
00:28:16,595 --> 00:28:19,064
hovering between life and death.
426
00:28:19,065 --> 00:28:20,531
Thanks for asking.
427
00:28:20,532 --> 00:28:24,070
No, I-I mean, apart from the whole coma thing.
428
00:28:25,872 --> 00:28:28,940
Just generally, how is she?
429
00:28:28,941 --> 00:28:32,043
She talks too much, works too much,
430
00:28:32,044 --> 00:28:33,512
and has terrible taste in men.
431
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:35,314
No offense.
432
00:28:38,017 --> 00:28:39,051
She means well, though.
433
00:28:40,552 --> 00:28:41,687
She tries her best.
434
00:28:42,855 --> 00:28:44,690
But you could say she's struggling.
435
00:28:45,792 --> 00:28:47,159
Ah, I don't...
436
00:28:49,528 --> 00:28:51,063
Her sister, my aunt,
437
00:28:52,064 --> 00:28:55,367
is afflicted with the old substance-abuse nonsense.
438
00:28:56,668 --> 00:28:58,636
No, it's not fair.
439
00:28:58,637 --> 00:28:59,971
It's not nonsense.
440
00:28:59,972 --> 00:29:01,572
It's a disease.
441
00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:04,675
Anyway, Mum took out a whole bunch of loans
442
00:29:04,676 --> 00:29:06,112
to put her through rehab.
443
00:29:07,346 --> 00:29:08,380
Now...
444
00:29:10,749 --> 00:29:11,884
she's deep in the hole.
445
00:29:13,652 --> 00:29:16,121
Fifty thousand deep.
446
00:29:16,122 --> 00:29:17,655
Jesus.
447
00:29:17,656 --> 00:29:20,358
Why do you think I'm on the hunt for this panther?
448
00:29:20,359 --> 00:29:22,994
The reward is 50 K, for a video of the thing.
449
00:29:22,995 --> 00:29:24,695
Problem solved, right?
450
00:29:24,696 --> 00:29:26,097
Mum will be off the hook
451
00:29:26,098 --> 00:29:28,901
and not having to juggle three stupid jobs.
452
00:29:32,604 --> 00:29:34,106
Plus, you know...
453
00:29:35,707 --> 00:29:38,110
I do really want to see a great, big, giant panther.
454
00:29:42,014 --> 00:29:43,049
Mmm.
455
00:29:44,183 --> 00:29:45,217
Right.
456
00:29:46,452 --> 00:29:49,588
I don't know about you, but I am bloody zonked.
457
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:57,028
Before we go in,
458
00:29:57,029 --> 00:29:59,330
can I make one thing
459
00:29:59,331 --> 00:30:00,966
perfectly clear?
460
00:30:00,967 --> 00:30:02,533
What's that?
461
00:30:02,534 --> 00:30:06,037
I know you have a belly full of beans.
462
00:30:06,038 --> 00:30:07,739
But, this tent...
463
00:30:08,740 --> 00:30:10,141
is a fart-free zone.
464
00:30:10,142 --> 00:30:11,542
Clear?
465
00:30:11,543 --> 00:30:13,279
Clear.
466
00:30:17,083 --> 00:30:19,151
I'm sorry things never worked out with your mom.
467
00:30:22,154 --> 00:30:24,423
I did ask her to stay with me in Vegas
468
00:30:26,492 --> 00:30:27,593
when she told me she was...
469
00:30:29,728 --> 00:30:31,329
when you...
470
00:30:31,330 --> 00:30:32,932
when she was pregnant, you know.
471
00:30:34,266 --> 00:30:35,934
I did offer,
472
00:30:35,935 --> 00:30:38,137
but... she wanted to stay here.
473
00:30:41,573 --> 00:30:43,741
I don't want you to think that I... I didn't want you
474
00:30:43,742 --> 00:30:45,944
or anything like that.
475
00:30:45,945 --> 00:30:47,046
It's just...
476
00:30:49,015 --> 00:30:50,149
It's a lot.
477
00:30:56,355 --> 00:30:57,823
I only met your mom once,
478
00:30:58,925 --> 00:31:00,692
for a couple of hours.
479
00:31:06,198 --> 00:31:07,833
It's such a complicated situation.
480
00:31:13,372 --> 00:31:15,874
You're not the average child, so...
481
00:31:17,476 --> 00:31:19,011
I feel like I can say...
482
00:31:31,623 --> 00:31:32,658
Good night, Mildred.
483
00:31:40,199 --> 00:31:42,467
You're not really asleep, are you?
484
00:31:42,468 --> 00:31:43,702
Good night, Strawn.
485
00:31:56,115 --> 00:31:57,416
I am so sorry.
486
00:32:26,212 --> 00:32:27,413
Hm...
487
00:32:29,348 --> 00:32:30,381
Jesus.
488
00:32:30,382 --> 00:32:31,717
What? What is it?
489
00:32:32,751 --> 00:32:34,053
I heard a creepy sound.
490
00:32:35,421 --> 00:32:37,488
Am I still dreaming
491
00:32:37,489 --> 00:32:39,390
or did a 42-year-old man
492
00:32:39,391 --> 00:32:41,726
really just wake up an 11-year-old girl
493
00:32:41,727 --> 00:32:44,829
to tell her that he heard a creepy sound in the night?
494
00:32:44,830 --> 00:32:45,931
I'm sorry.
495
00:32:46,898 --> 00:32:48,799
Never mind.
496
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:49,901
Go back to sleep.
497
00:33:16,495 --> 00:33:17,928
- Good morning, Strawn. - Mmm.
498
00:33:17,929 --> 00:33:19,897
Sleep well?
499
00:33:19,898 --> 00:33:20,999
Not really.
500
00:33:21,733 --> 00:33:23,768
My stomach feels weird and bubbly.
501
00:33:23,769 --> 00:33:26,338
I know. I'm super excited too.
502
00:33:28,174 --> 00:33:30,342
Get some caffeine in you, and let's move.
503
00:33:34,246 --> 00:33:35,281
You know...
504
00:33:36,482 --> 00:33:37,649
you can call me Dad.
505
00:33:39,818 --> 00:33:40,886
Why would I do that?
506
00:33:42,754 --> 00:33:44,789
Most daughters call their dads "Dad."
507
00:33:44,790 --> 00:33:48,426
Most daughters see their dads more than once a decade.
508
00:33:48,427 --> 00:33:50,728
Maybe one day, you'll actually call me Dad.
509
00:33:54,300 --> 00:33:55,766
And maybe one day,
510
00:33:55,767 --> 00:33:58,704
you'll actually do a magic trick that impresses me.
511
00:34:29,301 --> 00:34:30,336
What is it?
512
00:34:31,370 --> 00:34:33,070
We're gonna have to find shelter.
513
00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:35,274
It's gonna rain very heavily and very soon.
514
00:34:36,375 --> 00:34:38,276
What? The sky looks fine.
515
00:34:38,277 --> 00:34:39,378
What's missing?
516
00:34:40,479 --> 00:34:43,248
- Clouds? - Birds, Strawn.
517
00:34:43,249 --> 00:34:45,551
They make themselves scarce before a good old downpour.
518
00:34:46,852 --> 00:34:49,920
I think you're mistaken.
519
00:34:49,921 --> 00:34:52,757
I'm pretty confident it's not gonna rain.
520
00:34:57,729 --> 00:34:59,131
So, do you go camping a lot?
521
00:35:00,166 --> 00:35:01,499
This is my first time.
522
00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:03,033
What?
523
00:35:03,034 --> 00:35:04,369
I always ask Mum to take me,
524
00:35:04,370 --> 00:35:05,937
but you know what she's like.
525
00:35:07,939 --> 00:35:08,974
Actually, you don't.
526
00:35:10,576 --> 00:35:11,610
I forgot.
527
00:35:17,082 --> 00:35:18,584
She's got me wrapped in cotton wool.
528
00:35:20,252 --> 00:35:21,287
And bubble wrap.
529
00:35:23,289 --> 00:35:25,056
Barely even lets me play in the backyard.
530
00:35:26,525 --> 00:35:29,227
Still wants to walk me to school, you know.
531
00:35:29,228 --> 00:35:31,763
Does wonders for my social life, as you can imagine.
532
00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:37,303
Does she ever talk about me?
533
00:35:39,070 --> 00:35:40,638
Why would she do that?
534
00:35:58,490 --> 00:36:00,125
She's gonna be okay, you know.
535
00:36:01,593 --> 00:36:02,761
She's in good hands.
536
00:36:15,807 --> 00:36:17,008
It's... it's alright...
537
00:36:18,176 --> 00:36:19,211
to be scared.
538
00:36:20,746 --> 00:36:21,780
It's normal.
539
00:36:28,854 --> 00:36:30,621
So...
540
00:36:30,622 --> 00:36:32,223
What does the average working day
541
00:36:32,224 --> 00:36:33,825
for an illusionist look like?
542
00:36:35,794 --> 00:36:39,196
Well, um, ah, I do appearances.
543
00:36:39,197 --> 00:36:40,299
Parties.
544
00:36:41,433 --> 00:36:43,434
Actually, last week,
545
00:36:43,435 --> 00:36:46,137
I just did a major celebrity's birthday party.
546
00:36:47,606 --> 00:36:48,606
Wow.
547
00:36:50,776 --> 00:36:53,244
You know, you could try being a little bit more respectful.
548
00:36:53,245 --> 00:36:54,680
I'm sure I could.
549
00:36:57,215 --> 00:36:59,050
I just can't promise I will.
550
00:37:01,987 --> 00:37:04,889
I work hard, you know, providing for you and your mom.
551
00:37:04,890 --> 00:37:06,624
Levitation and card tricks?
552
00:37:06,625 --> 00:37:08,726
Back-breaking stuff, I'm sure.
553
00:37:08,727 --> 00:37:10,060
What I do is both
554
00:37:10,061 --> 00:37:11,729
physically and mentally exhausting.
555
00:37:11,730 --> 00:37:13,063
My wrist strength is equivalent
556
00:37:13,064 --> 00:37:14,999
to that of a professional wrestler.
557
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,234
You think it's easy, making a hundred balloon animals
558
00:37:17,235 --> 00:37:18,404
for Vin Diesel's kids?
559
00:37:19,671 --> 00:37:21,572
Balloon animals.
560
00:37:21,573 --> 00:37:25,443
And they say air traffic controllers have stressful jobs.
561
00:37:25,444 --> 00:37:27,045
And what the hell is a Vin Diesel?
562
00:37:28,714 --> 00:37:32,249
Only the lead of the greatest franchise in film history.
563
00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:33,451
Well, anyway, whatever.
564
00:37:33,452 --> 00:37:34,819
People need magic in their lives.
565
00:37:34,820 --> 00:37:36,287
I'm doing my best.
566
00:37:36,288 --> 00:37:39,790
I'm doing my best not to punch you in the goolies.
567
00:37:39,791 --> 00:37:41,626
What did I ever do to you? Huh?
568
00:37:41,627 --> 00:37:43,928
Why are you angry with me? What-- what is this?
569
00:37:43,929 --> 00:37:47,632
Oh, you really want to have this conversation?
570
00:37:47,633 --> 00:37:49,635
Right here? Right now?
571
00:37:50,936 --> 00:37:51,970
Um...
572
00:37:53,204 --> 00:37:54,239
I... I don't know.
573
00:37:55,607 --> 00:37:58,376
No. Maybe not.
574
00:37:58,377 --> 00:38:00,111
Yeah, let's... let's not.
575
00:38:02,448 --> 00:38:04,082
- What? - Don't move.
576
00:38:05,183 --> 00:38:07,151
Stay completely still.
577
00:38:07,152 --> 00:38:09,320
Is this just a trick so you can punch me in the "goolies"?
578
00:38:09,321 --> 00:38:10,556
No.
579
00:38:15,060 --> 00:38:16,994
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
580
00:38:16,995 --> 00:38:18,996
Strawn, listen to me.
581
00:38:18,997 --> 00:38:22,733
Do not, I repeat, do... not... move.
582
00:38:22,734 --> 00:38:25,002
Ah, well, ah...
583
00:38:25,003 --> 00:38:26,371
- It's the-- - Panther.
584
00:38:26,372 --> 00:38:28,273
It's the panther.
585
00:38:29,575 --> 00:38:30,575
What do we... what do we do?
586
00:38:30,576 --> 00:38:31,909
Shh.
587
00:38:31,910 --> 00:38:33,243
Just be quiet.
588
00:38:33,244 --> 00:38:36,381
- Panthers kill people. - I said be quiet.
589
00:38:36,382 --> 00:38:38,082
Why? Won't they kill us?
590
00:38:38,083 --> 00:38:40,885
Because, A, it hasn't seen us yet.
591
00:38:40,886 --> 00:38:43,421
And B, we're going to stay very still,
592
00:38:43,422 --> 00:38:46,792
very quiet, and very calm.
593
00:38:56,735 --> 00:38:58,736
That's not good, is it?
594
00:38:58,737 --> 00:39:00,104
- Umm - Do we run?
595
00:39:00,105 --> 00:39:02,006
Think you can outrun a panther?
596
00:39:02,007 --> 00:39:03,340
I don't know. Can I?
597
00:39:03,341 --> 00:39:04,876
No, Strawn. No, you can't.
598
00:39:06,578 --> 00:39:09,013
At least, there's water between us.
599
00:39:09,014 --> 00:39:10,415
Cats hate water, right?
600
00:39:10,416 --> 00:39:12,851
Panthers are exceptional swimmers, actually.
601
00:39:13,952 --> 00:39:16,555
- And what do we do? - We stay still.
602
00:39:19,090 --> 00:39:22,092
We don't move and we don't make a sound.
603
00:39:45,584 --> 00:39:47,718
Mum, if you can hear me, it's going to be okay.
604
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:49,253
I promise.
605
00:39:49,254 --> 00:39:53,958
PS, I love you with all of my heart.
606
00:39:53,959 --> 00:39:55,092
There. Happy?
607
00:39:55,093 --> 00:39:56,461
Mildred...
608
00:39:56,462 --> 00:39:57,996
Did you get the footage?
609
00:39:59,831 --> 00:40:02,100
I got it. I got the bugger.
610
00:40:04,770 --> 00:40:05,936
How you holding up?
611
00:40:08,507 --> 00:40:11,276
That was... a close encounter.
612
00:40:13,178 --> 00:40:15,012
Of the fifty thousandth kind.
613
00:40:48,213 --> 00:40:49,380
Mildred, look...
614
00:40:51,449 --> 00:40:52,450
Sorry.
615
00:40:53,118 --> 00:40:54,653
For being an absent father?
616
00:40:55,721 --> 00:40:58,288
What? No, I... I mean, for doubting you
617
00:40:58,289 --> 00:40:59,390
about the panther.
618
00:41:03,428 --> 00:41:06,463
And for the whole... absent father thing, too.
619
00:41:06,464 --> 00:41:09,000
I'm... sorry for that.
620
00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:12,804
Yeah, and I'm sorry about
621
00:41:13,805 --> 00:41:15,472
threatening to punch you in the goolies.
622
00:41:15,473 --> 00:41:19,677
It was rude and uncalled for.
623
00:41:19,678 --> 00:41:21,646
Hmm. Pretty Freudian, when you think about it.
624
00:41:21,647 --> 00:41:23,981
Ah, not to change the subject,
625
00:41:23,982 --> 00:41:26,451
but you're getting eaten alive.
626
00:41:32,390 --> 00:41:34,459
You know, most people just squash the buggers.
627
00:41:35,460 --> 00:41:37,328
Yeah. Not... not me. I'm not a murderer.
628
00:41:38,396 --> 00:41:41,967
Ah, always used to make me feel guilty as a kid, killing bugs.
629
00:41:43,268 --> 00:41:44,902
Made me sad,
630
00:41:44,903 --> 00:41:46,872
thinking about their babies wondering where they went.
631
00:41:49,575 --> 00:41:51,710
- What? - Don't move.
632
00:41:53,444 --> 00:41:54,779
What?
633
00:41:54,780 --> 00:41:57,014
You've got a weta on your shoulder.
634
00:41:57,015 --> 00:41:59,083
- A-- a "weta"? - A weta.
635
00:42:05,390 --> 00:42:07,625
Ah! What the hell is that?
636
00:42:07,626 --> 00:42:09,860
What the hell is that?
637
00:42:18,303 --> 00:42:20,070
Think its babies will wonder where it went?
638
00:42:28,046 --> 00:42:29,681
Mum said you used to be on telly.
639
00:42:30,816 --> 00:42:32,383
You were some big-shot magician.
640
00:42:34,119 --> 00:42:36,486
But then another big-shot magician came along
641
00:42:36,487 --> 00:42:38,389
and you became a small-shot magician.
642
00:42:40,191 --> 00:42:42,493
Oh. David Blaine.
643
00:42:44,129 --> 00:42:45,163
We used to be friends.
644
00:42:47,365 --> 00:42:49,367
Till he stabbed me in the back.
645
00:42:51,169 --> 00:42:53,838
He stabbed me and he stabbed me
646
00:42:53,839 --> 00:42:55,774
and he stabbed me.
647
00:43:01,713 --> 00:43:04,414
We met doing illusions on the streets of New York.
648
00:43:06,251 --> 00:43:07,352
We became inseparable.
649
00:43:09,187 --> 00:43:10,320
He was like a...
650
00:43:10,321 --> 00:43:11,389
...big brother to me.
651
00:43:13,058 --> 00:43:16,426
We both landed our own TV shows.
652
00:43:16,427 --> 00:43:17,729
Him first, then me.
653
00:43:18,864 --> 00:43:20,198
His show was called Street Magic.
654
00:43:21,332 --> 00:43:24,001
Mine was called Twizted Illusions.
655
00:43:24,002 --> 00:43:26,204
The "s" and Twizted was a "z".
656
00:43:27,272 --> 00:43:29,139
Twizted?
657
00:43:29,140 --> 00:43:32,176
One day, we were riding through Central Park
658
00:43:32,177 --> 00:43:33,277
in a horse-drawn carriage.
659
00:43:34,780 --> 00:43:36,581
We were both wearing burgundy velvet shorts.
660
00:43:37,548 --> 00:43:40,050
I told him I had a series of TV specials planned.
661
00:43:40,051 --> 00:43:41,551
... do a series of TV specials...
662
00:43:41,552 --> 00:43:42,987
I had the whole thing worked out,
663
00:43:42,988 --> 00:43:44,521
and I talked him through it.
664
00:43:44,522 --> 00:43:46,123
I'd be buried alive...
665
00:43:46,124 --> 00:43:47,892
I'd be buried alive for a week in Central Park.
666
00:43:47,893 --> 00:43:49,660
The very park we were riding through.
667
00:43:51,462 --> 00:43:55,299
And then I would be frozen in a block of ice for 72 hours.
668
00:43:55,300 --> 00:43:59,337
Next, I would stand on top of a tall pillar for 35 hours.
669
00:44:01,973 --> 00:44:03,241
He just laughed at me.
670
00:44:04,409 --> 00:44:05,976
Said I was crazy.
671
00:44:05,977 --> 00:44:08,078
"Nobody could pull off one of these stunts,
672
00:44:08,079 --> 00:44:09,880
let alone all three."
673
00:44:09,881 --> 00:44:12,750
And then, the greasy little worm
674
00:44:12,751 --> 00:44:14,752
goes and pitches my ideas,
675
00:44:14,753 --> 00:44:16,854
like they're his own.
676
00:44:16,855 --> 00:44:20,090
Signs a... a contract worth millions
677
00:44:20,091 --> 00:44:21,626
and starts ignoring my calls.
678
00:44:23,561 --> 00:44:26,264
So, I go and confront the bastard.
679
00:44:28,466 --> 00:44:31,769
He's at this shark-themed bar in Vegas.
680
00:44:31,770 --> 00:44:34,404
He's there with all his new showbiz buddies.
681
00:44:34,405 --> 00:44:35,841
A few names you may have heard of.
682
00:44:37,575 --> 00:44:41,212
DiCaprio, Maguire, Faustino, Haas, Tip.
683
00:44:42,247 --> 00:44:43,781
As in Q-Tip.
684
00:44:43,782 --> 00:44:46,083
- The celebrated rapper. - Okay.
685
00:44:46,084 --> 00:44:48,218
They're all wearing backwards baseball caps
686
00:44:48,219 --> 00:44:51,688
and these black baggy suits with one pant leg rolled up,
687
00:44:51,689 --> 00:44:54,459
like a inside joke, or a ritual, or something.
688
00:44:56,261 --> 00:44:59,629
Anyway, I... I go to talk to David.
689
00:44:59,630 --> 00:45:02,800
You know, ask him, why he did that to me,
690
00:45:02,801 --> 00:45:04,202
after everything we've been through.
691
00:45:06,171 --> 00:45:07,205
You know what he did?
692
00:45:09,975 --> 00:45:11,009
He just smiles at me,
693
00:45:11,977 --> 00:45:14,245
and slowly poured his drink over my head.
694
00:45:17,883 --> 00:45:21,251
And then they all just start barking at me.
695
00:45:21,252 --> 00:45:23,153
Like dogs.
696
00:45:23,154 --> 00:45:24,454
Barking
697
00:45:24,455 --> 00:45:27,257
and barking.
698
00:45:31,329 --> 00:45:32,898
And David was barking the loudest.
699
00:45:34,199 --> 00:45:37,101
His face was all red and sweaty.
700
00:45:37,102 --> 00:45:38,335
His lips were...
701
00:45:38,336 --> 00:45:39,904
...turning blue.
702
00:45:39,905 --> 00:45:42,506
It was like he was having a seizure or something.
703
00:45:42,507 --> 00:45:44,175
And what did you do?
704
00:45:47,578 --> 00:45:49,414
What I always do when I see something scary.
705
00:45:52,483 --> 00:45:53,584
I ran away.
706
00:45:56,721 --> 00:45:59,124
As fast as I could, as far as I could.
707
00:46:02,593 --> 00:46:03,961
Next thing I know,
708
00:46:03,962 --> 00:46:05,596
I'm in the desert, on my knees, throwing up.
709
00:46:07,933 --> 00:46:10,936
I can see little pieces of squid tentacle in my vomit.
710
00:46:15,173 --> 00:46:16,474
That's the last thing I remember.
711
00:46:17,342 --> 00:46:19,077
The next few months are kind of a blur.
712
00:46:22,180 --> 00:46:23,214
Anyway, I...
713
00:46:24,182 --> 00:46:26,117
moved back in with my mom for a while.
714
00:46:27,352 --> 00:46:28,386
I just couldn't do much.
715
00:46:32,623 --> 00:46:33,658
A year later, I...
716
00:46:35,793 --> 00:46:37,694
I started...
717
00:46:37,695 --> 00:46:39,196
...piecing things back together again.
718
00:46:39,197 --> 00:46:41,565
You know, card tricks on the streets,
719
00:46:41,566 --> 00:46:44,201
booking gigs, parties.
720
00:46:44,202 --> 00:46:47,272
And somewhere in the middle of all of this,
721
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:49,274
you met my mum.
722
00:46:53,979 --> 00:46:55,013
I met your mom.
723
00:46:56,047 --> 00:46:57,015
Yeah.
724
00:46:58,283 --> 00:47:00,285
I found her secret diary once.
725
00:47:02,253 --> 00:47:06,925
It said that she met you on a girls' trip to Vegas.
726
00:47:08,759 --> 00:47:10,494
Says I was conceived
727
00:47:10,495 --> 00:47:12,830
in the parking lot of a convenience store.
728
00:47:14,399 --> 00:47:16,167
That's not really true, is it?
729
00:47:19,270 --> 00:47:20,305
Yeah.
730
00:47:21,973 --> 00:47:23,808
And they say romance is dead.
731
00:47:28,947 --> 00:47:30,381
You're wrong about one thing, though.
732
00:47:31,316 --> 00:47:32,350
What's that?
733
00:47:33,818 --> 00:47:35,953
You don't run away from every scary thing.
734
00:47:35,954 --> 00:47:37,122
Are you sure about that?
735
00:47:38,823 --> 00:47:39,857
I mean...
736
00:47:41,326 --> 00:47:42,560
you're here, aren't you?
737
00:47:44,495 --> 00:47:47,597
You flew halfway across the world to...
738
00:47:47,598 --> 00:47:49,234
look after a kid you've never met.
739
00:47:50,335 --> 00:47:51,702
And in the wilderness, to boot.
740
00:47:54,372 --> 00:47:56,174
Maybe you have a backbone after all.
741
00:47:59,677 --> 00:48:01,311
Thank you.
742
00:48:01,312 --> 00:48:03,881
Now, let's get some sleep, shall we?
743
00:49:30,201 --> 00:49:31,635
Hey!
744
00:49:31,636 --> 00:49:33,470
- That was like six skips. - Yeah.
745
00:49:33,471 --> 00:49:35,039
- Yeah. - Alright, ready?
746
00:49:35,040 --> 00:49:36,507
Kia ora!
747
00:49:47,785 --> 00:49:51,155
Father and daughter, on a wee trek
748
00:49:51,156 --> 00:49:53,657
hiking the beautiful wilderness in New Zealand.
749
00:49:53,658 --> 00:49:55,659
Is this what I'm seeing here?
750
00:49:55,660 --> 00:49:57,261
- Yeah. - Of course it is.
751
00:50:00,298 --> 00:50:01,898
Hi, I'm...
752
00:50:01,899 --> 00:50:04,534
I'm Arnold, and this is my beautiful wife, Angelina.
753
00:50:04,535 --> 00:50:06,370
Long-suffering missus.
754
00:50:06,371 --> 00:50:08,004
I'm Strawn, ah,
755
00:50:08,005 --> 00:50:09,373
and this is my biologi-- ah...
756
00:50:09,374 --> 00:50:11,241
My daughter, Mildred.
757
00:50:11,242 --> 00:50:14,544
Ooh. A real American person, eh?
758
00:50:14,545 --> 00:50:16,580
Yeah. I guess I am.
759
00:50:16,581 --> 00:50:18,548
I've never met a real American before.
760
00:50:18,549 --> 00:50:19,916
I mean I've watched
761
00:50:19,917 --> 00:50:21,851
lots of American soap operas, though.
762
00:50:21,852 --> 00:50:23,587
It's all she does all day,
763
00:50:23,588 --> 00:50:25,522
watch those bloody American soap operas.
764
00:50:25,523 --> 00:50:27,424
They can be addictive.
765
00:50:27,425 --> 00:50:29,193
That's why they end with cliffhangers.
766
00:50:29,194 --> 00:50:31,695
It's to make you desperate to see the next episode.
767
00:50:31,696 --> 00:50:34,064
It's to make you watch commercials, basically.
768
00:50:34,065 --> 00:50:36,600
That's how TV works. It's sort of shameful.
769
00:50:36,601 --> 00:50:37,967
I mean, there should be laws against it.
770
00:50:37,968 --> 00:50:39,304
It's disgusting.
771
00:50:45,976 --> 00:50:48,713
So, ah, are you enjoying New Zealand?
772
00:50:49,980 --> 00:50:51,482
I... I quite like it, I think.
773
00:50:53,684 --> 00:50:56,052
Well, we're heading down to those,
774
00:50:56,053 --> 00:50:58,888
do you know the, the big rocks where they made the movie
775
00:50:58,889 --> 00:51:01,425
where Liam Neeson was the talking lion?
776
00:51:01,426 --> 00:51:03,627
- Oh. - Why don't you join us,
777
00:51:03,628 --> 00:51:06,396
I could do with some grownup conversation.
778
00:51:07,332 --> 00:51:08,433
So could I.
779
00:51:11,169 --> 00:51:13,670
So, tell me everything.
780
00:51:13,671 --> 00:51:16,340
What's it like growing up in America?
781
00:51:16,341 --> 00:51:17,841
I'd love to tell you,
782
00:51:17,842 --> 00:51:21,278
but since I've never set foot on American soil,
783
00:51:21,279 --> 00:51:22,646
I don't have a bloody clue.
784
00:51:22,647 --> 00:51:23,780
But your dad...
785
00:51:23,781 --> 00:51:25,583
He lives there. I live here.
786
00:51:27,084 --> 00:51:28,352
Don't you want to live there with him?
787
00:51:28,353 --> 00:51:30,454
I mean, if I was a kid,
788
00:51:30,455 --> 00:51:31,988
I'd much rather grow up in America
789
00:51:31,989 --> 00:51:34,023
than boring old New Zealand.
790
00:51:34,024 --> 00:51:35,325
Let's see.
791
00:51:35,326 --> 00:51:37,694
I don't like assault rifles.
792
00:51:37,695 --> 00:51:39,129
I don't like high-fives.
793
00:51:39,130 --> 00:51:40,797
I don't like corn syrup.
794
00:51:40,798 --> 00:51:43,967
I don't like people who say, "buddy" or "hell yeah".
795
00:51:43,968 --> 00:51:47,138
And I despise the word "dude" with every atom of my being.
796
00:51:49,340 --> 00:51:51,775
I'm not sure America has much to offer me.
797
00:51:51,776 --> 00:51:53,377
You don't--
798
00:51:53,378 --> 00:51:54,979
Talk like a normal child?
799
00:51:56,214 --> 00:51:57,547
I know.
800
00:51:57,548 --> 00:51:59,149
So, what's your trade?
801
00:51:59,150 --> 00:52:00,517
I'm an illusionist.
802
00:52:00,518 --> 00:52:02,587
Illusionist? What, like... like a magician?
803
00:52:04,222 --> 00:52:06,190
- Yeah. - Like David Blaine?
804
00:52:06,191 --> 00:52:08,192
Oh, man. I adore him.
805
00:52:08,193 --> 00:52:11,495
Like, he is literally magical, don't you think?
806
00:52:11,496 --> 00:52:12,729
Like, nothing comes close.
807
00:52:12,730 --> 00:52:14,698
Nothing even comes close to close to him.
808
00:52:14,699 --> 00:52:15,966
- Don't you think? - Yeah.
809
00:52:17,302 --> 00:52:18,668
What about you?
810
00:52:18,669 --> 00:52:21,171
Me? I'm a... I'm a heart surgeon.
811
00:52:21,172 --> 00:52:23,840
Yeah. I don't mean to toot my own trombone,
812
00:52:23,841 --> 00:52:26,576
but I'm in the top five heart surgeons
813
00:52:26,577 --> 00:52:28,312
in the whole of Oceania.
814
00:52:28,313 --> 00:52:29,646
Wow.
815
00:52:29,647 --> 00:52:31,248
I'm actually impressed by that.
816
00:52:31,249 --> 00:52:33,217
A lot of people are, you know?
817
00:52:33,218 --> 00:52:34,584
And so they should be,
818
00:52:34,585 --> 00:52:35,852
It's an impressive job to have, isn't it?
819
00:52:35,853 --> 00:52:37,721
Like, literally, I save lives.
820
00:52:37,722 --> 00:52:38,922
If somebody was dying
821
00:52:38,923 --> 00:52:40,490
and I intervene, I save their life.
822
00:52:40,491 --> 00:52:43,493
So, if anything... I'm the magician round here.
823
00:52:44,762 --> 00:52:45,863
No offense.
824
00:52:50,067 --> 00:52:52,502
Good one.
825
00:52:52,503 --> 00:52:53,570
Um...
826
00:52:53,571 --> 00:52:55,004
Largest continent?
827
00:52:55,005 --> 00:52:56,406
She's really good with kids, eh?
828
00:52:59,244 --> 00:53:01,045
Yeah. Well, some people are.
829
00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:03,714
And some people aren't.
830
00:53:12,590 --> 00:53:15,792
Listen, mate, there's something I wanted to say to you.
831
00:53:15,793 --> 00:53:16,894
What's that?
832
00:53:18,496 --> 00:53:19,864
But you've got to promise you're...
833
00:53:20,965 --> 00:53:22,900
are going to be cool, calm, and collected about it, eh?
834
00:53:23,968 --> 00:53:25,569
Chillin' like Bob Dylan.
835
00:53:25,570 --> 00:53:27,471
Promise?
836
00:53:27,472 --> 00:53:29,474
Sure, yeah, I promise. What is it?
837
00:53:33,043 --> 00:53:34,478
I've kidnapped your daughter.
838
00:53:38,015 --> 00:53:39,183
Excuse me?
839
00:53:41,151 --> 00:53:42,486
You see,
840
00:53:42,487 --> 00:53:43,787
I know it doesn't look
841
00:53:43,788 --> 00:53:46,390
like a conventional kidnapping.
842
00:53:46,391 --> 00:53:49,393
But a kidnapping is exactly what it is.
843
00:53:53,264 --> 00:53:54,798
Ah, I don't understand.
844
00:53:54,799 --> 00:53:55,900
Well...
845
00:53:56,901 --> 00:53:58,168
she's in my custody
846
00:53:59,704 --> 00:54:01,338
and I'm going to make some demands of you,
847
00:54:01,339 --> 00:54:02,940
and if those demands aren't met,
848
00:54:04,409 --> 00:54:05,743
she stays in my custody.
849
00:54:07,312 --> 00:54:08,912
Until I, ah,
850
00:54:08,913 --> 00:54:09,914
cut her loose.
851
00:54:14,819 --> 00:54:16,520
Because let's be honest,
852
00:54:16,521 --> 00:54:18,988
that's a lot of dead weight to be carrying around this terrain.
853
00:54:18,989 --> 00:54:21,758
Especially with my bad back.
854
00:54:21,759 --> 00:54:22,893
Sorry, no filter.
855
00:54:24,562 --> 00:54:25,596
So, um...
856
00:54:26,731 --> 00:54:28,633
in case you get any funny ideas,
857
00:54:29,767 --> 00:54:31,302
just like you to know that, um,
858
00:54:33,203 --> 00:54:34,771
I'm a black belt in karate.
859
00:54:35,873 --> 00:54:36,973
Are you really?
860
00:54:36,974 --> 00:54:38,075
Yes, I am really.
861
00:54:39,777 --> 00:54:40,878
I don't believe you.
862
00:54:41,879 --> 00:54:42,980
Well, you should believe me.
863
00:54:44,048 --> 00:54:45,114
Then do a karate move.
864
00:54:45,115 --> 00:54:46,384
I'm not some dancing monkey boy.
865
00:54:47,585 --> 00:54:49,887
- I don't do moves on demand. - Because you don't know karate.
866
00:54:51,389 --> 00:54:52,390
Right.
867
00:54:53,123 --> 00:54:54,224
I'm not doing any moves.
868
00:54:55,259 --> 00:54:56,293
But I'll show you something.
869
00:54:59,697 --> 00:55:01,566
Have a look at that and commit that to memory.
870
00:55:03,067 --> 00:55:04,101
Maybe this.
871
00:55:05,970 --> 00:55:07,004
A belt.
872
00:55:08,373 --> 00:55:09,407
What color is it?
873
00:55:12,977 --> 00:55:14,010
It's black.
874
00:55:14,011 --> 00:55:15,712
That's correct.
875
00:55:15,713 --> 00:55:16,913
The belt is black.
876
00:55:16,914 --> 00:55:19,383
As in black belt.
877
00:55:19,384 --> 00:55:21,317
As in,
878
00:55:21,318 --> 00:55:24,321
I could karate the living shite clean out of you.
879
00:55:26,223 --> 00:55:27,724
And if I choose
880
00:55:27,725 --> 00:55:30,294
to karate the living shite clean out of you, I will.
881
00:55:32,262 --> 00:55:34,163
If you mess me about.
882
00:55:34,164 --> 00:55:35,899
Capiche?
883
00:55:35,900 --> 00:55:37,166
Mm-hmm.
884
00:55:37,167 --> 00:55:38,435
Alright.
885
00:55:38,436 --> 00:55:40,236
Let's get down to the nitty-gritty
886
00:55:40,237 --> 00:55:41,472
of what I want from you.
887
00:55:42,573 --> 00:55:44,073
What do you want from me?
888
00:55:44,074 --> 00:55:46,242
Well, your valuables.
889
00:55:46,243 --> 00:55:48,211
You can't be serious.
890
00:55:48,212 --> 00:55:50,279
As serious as cancer rhythm is a dancer,
891
00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:51,382
my friend.
892
00:55:52,683 --> 00:55:54,018
Have you heard of a blood transfusion?
893
00:55:55,085 --> 00:55:56,252
What? Yeah.
894
00:55:56,253 --> 00:55:58,489
Well, see this as a bag transfusion.
895
00:56:01,592 --> 00:56:02,859
You transfer
896
00:56:02,860 --> 00:56:04,061
the contents of your bag
897
00:56:05,129 --> 00:56:07,431
into my bag.
898
00:56:07,432 --> 00:56:08,932
Okay?
899
00:56:08,933 --> 00:56:11,200
So why don't we start with the mobile phone,
900
00:56:11,201 --> 00:56:14,238
or as you yanks like to call it, your "cellular"?
901
00:56:15,139 --> 00:56:16,206
Come on.
902
00:56:19,109 --> 00:56:21,411
Do I need to remind you that a black belt in karate
903
00:56:21,412 --> 00:56:22,513
has kidnapped your daughter?
904
00:56:25,783 --> 00:56:26,817
Thanking you.
905
00:56:27,852 --> 00:56:29,085
Uh, passcode, please.
906
00:56:29,086 --> 00:56:30,219
Okay, please. You don't need the--
907
00:56:30,220 --> 00:56:31,321
Passcode?
908
00:56:34,224 --> 00:56:35,258
1981.
909
00:56:35,259 --> 00:56:37,761
It's the year I was born.
910
00:56:37,762 --> 00:56:39,763
Hey, just please don't look at any of the photos.
911
00:56:39,764 --> 00:56:41,565
Okay, that's all I ask.
912
00:56:42,900 --> 00:56:44,901
I wasn't going to look at the photos.
913
00:56:44,902 --> 00:56:46,169
But now you mention it--
914
00:56:46,170 --> 00:56:47,671
No, no, no. Please, please don't.
915
00:56:47,672 --> 00:56:48,773
Whoa!
916
00:56:52,710 --> 00:56:54,211
You're a strange little man, aren't you?
917
00:56:55,646 --> 00:56:57,246
You do know there's a pump you can get for that,
918
00:56:57,247 --> 00:56:59,282
and apparently it works?
919
00:56:59,283 --> 00:57:00,617
Mm-hm.
920
00:57:00,618 --> 00:57:02,753
Okay. Camera?
921
00:57:05,055 --> 00:57:06,123
Please.
922
00:57:07,758 --> 00:57:09,826
Please. Don't do this.
923
00:57:09,827 --> 00:57:11,695
This is my daughter's. It means a lot to her.
924
00:57:11,696 --> 00:57:13,597
Yeah. And it'll mean a lot to me too.
925
00:57:16,501 --> 00:57:18,034
But I'll call the cops. I know your names.
926
00:57:18,035 --> 00:57:20,136
What, um...
927
00:57:20,137 --> 00:57:21,271
Arnold and Angelina?
928
00:57:22,707 --> 00:57:25,308
Um, have a wee think.
929
00:57:25,309 --> 00:57:27,277
Where have you heard those names before?
930
00:57:31,348 --> 00:57:34,384
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Angelina Jolie?
931
00:57:35,385 --> 00:57:36,654
And what do they have in common?
932
00:57:37,722 --> 00:57:38,756
They're...
933
00:57:40,725 --> 00:57:41,725
Actors.
934
00:57:41,726 --> 00:57:43,793
And what do actors do?
935
00:57:43,794 --> 00:57:45,028
They...
936
00:57:45,029 --> 00:57:46,530
pretend to be other people.
937
00:57:48,165 --> 00:57:49,533
I... I know your job.
938
00:57:49,534 --> 00:57:51,468
You're one of the leading heart surgeons.
939
00:57:55,372 --> 00:57:56,673
You're not a heart surgeon, are you?
940
00:57:56,674 --> 00:57:58,174
No.
941
00:57:58,175 --> 00:57:59,809
Well, I know what you look like.
942
00:57:59,810 --> 00:58:01,678
The... the cops will do a composite sketch.
943
00:58:01,679 --> 00:58:03,880
I'll just go home, cut my hair,
944
00:58:03,881 --> 00:58:05,481
shave off my beard,
945
00:58:05,482 --> 00:58:06,751
and nobody will recognize me.
946
00:58:08,118 --> 00:58:09,152
What about Angelina?
947
00:58:09,153 --> 00:58:10,955
She'll shave her beard off too.
948
00:58:13,658 --> 00:58:15,826
Anyhoo. Wallet. Come on.
949
00:58:19,630 --> 00:58:20,664
Grazie.
950
00:58:20,665 --> 00:58:23,199
Angelina, darling.
951
00:58:24,401 --> 00:58:25,735
Well...
952
00:58:25,736 --> 00:58:27,671
- I think you can finish this. - Yeah.
953
00:58:27,672 --> 00:58:29,273
I'll see what those two are up to.
954
00:58:31,175 --> 00:58:33,442
Goodbye.
955
00:58:35,479 --> 00:58:37,046
We all done here?
956
00:58:37,047 --> 00:58:38,447
Yeah, it was quite a painless operation.
957
00:58:42,419 --> 00:58:44,655
Ooh. Nice rod.
958
00:58:45,656 --> 00:58:47,356
- There you go. - Mm.
959
00:58:47,357 --> 00:58:48,958
Bet ya that's the first time a woman's ever said that to you.
960
00:58:48,959 --> 00:58:50,459
Hey.
961
00:58:50,460 --> 00:58:51,895
Please don't take that. It's my daughter's.
962
00:58:51,896 --> 00:58:54,431
My nephew is desperate for a fishing rod.
963
00:58:55,432 --> 00:58:57,200
That's his birthday present's sorted.
964
00:58:57,201 --> 00:58:58,535
Thanks.
965
00:58:59,336 --> 00:59:00,737
Grab their matches and map.
966
00:59:00,738 --> 00:59:03,106
That'll slow 'em down.
967
00:59:03,107 --> 00:59:05,241
You are a criminal mastermind, my love.
968
00:59:07,377 --> 00:59:08,578
Wanna show you something.
969
00:59:08,579 --> 00:59:11,047
I used to charge my mates at school
970
00:59:11,048 --> 00:59:12,349
a dollar a time to see this.
971
00:59:15,920 --> 00:59:17,654
You don't want to see what he used to charge
972
00:59:17,655 --> 00:59:18,922
two bucks to see.
973
00:59:18,923 --> 00:59:20,556
What if I come after you, huh?
974
00:59:20,557 --> 00:59:21,958
Oh.
975
00:59:21,959 --> 00:59:23,894
You just don't seem like the type.
976
00:59:27,464 --> 00:59:29,165
Do you want me to get this?
977
00:59:29,166 --> 00:59:30,267
Yeah.
978
00:59:33,904 --> 00:59:35,504
Kia ora!
979
00:59:59,363 --> 01:00:00,564
Hey, where'd they go?
980
01:00:01,498 --> 01:00:02,532
Hey!
981
01:00:13,577 --> 01:00:15,913
Not to get mushy, but...
982
01:00:18,415 --> 01:00:20,117
today's been a bloody great day.
983
01:00:21,085 --> 01:00:22,118
I have to tell you something.
984
01:00:22,119 --> 01:00:23,887
You're gonna get mushy, too?
985
01:00:23,888 --> 01:00:25,455
You have to promise that you'll stay...
986
01:00:27,191 --> 01:00:28,725
cool,
987
01:00:28,726 --> 01:00:31,360
calm and collected.
988
01:00:31,361 --> 01:00:32,495
You promise?
989
01:00:32,496 --> 01:00:34,999
Yes. Okay, I promise.
990
01:00:38,102 --> 01:00:39,136
They robbed us.
991
01:00:40,304 --> 01:00:42,505
- Pardon me? - They kidnapped you.
992
01:00:42,506 --> 01:00:44,308
Yeah. Good one, Strawn. Very funny.
993
01:00:45,142 --> 01:00:46,342
Seriously, where'd they go?
994
01:00:46,343 --> 01:00:47,644
They held you to ransom.
995
01:00:48,813 --> 01:00:50,579
They took my phone,
996
01:00:50,580 --> 01:00:53,350
my wallet, the map, the matches,
997
01:00:54,318 --> 01:00:55,352
fishing rod...
998
01:00:57,287 --> 01:00:58,322
the camera.
999
01:01:00,725 --> 01:01:03,426
I... I know it didn't feel like a kidnapping,
1000
01:01:03,427 --> 01:01:05,629
but that's what just happened.
1001
01:01:07,798 --> 01:01:09,033
Oh God.
1002
01:01:10,167 --> 01:01:11,200
I'm sorry.
1003
01:01:14,371 --> 01:01:16,173
They took everything.
1004
01:01:17,842 --> 01:01:21,511
The camera, the proof. Everything!
1005
01:01:22,679 --> 01:01:27,250
And... you just let them?
1006
01:01:27,251 --> 01:01:28,652
- Just...
1007
01:01:29,987 --> 01:01:32,022
You just handed it over
1008
01:01:33,758 --> 01:01:35,624
on a silver platter.
1009
01:01:35,625 --> 01:01:37,026
I'm so sorry.
1010
01:01:37,027 --> 01:01:38,594
Do I need to remind you
1011
01:01:38,595 --> 01:01:42,098
that that camera footage was going to save Mum and me
1012
01:01:42,099 --> 01:01:44,533
from becoming another depressing welfare statistic?
1013
01:01:44,534 --> 01:01:46,904
It was going to save our lives.
1014
01:01:49,439 --> 01:01:51,074
You hate me, don't you?
1015
01:01:51,075 --> 01:01:52,708
I actually can't even put into words
1016
01:01:52,709 --> 01:01:55,045
how much hate I feel towards you right now.
1017
01:01:57,214 --> 01:01:58,215
Know what?
1018
01:01:59,549 --> 01:02:03,887
I can't stand the sight of you.
1019
01:02:03,888 --> 01:02:07,090
Your idiotic nail polish
1020
01:02:07,091 --> 01:02:08,958
and your crap,
1021
01:02:08,959 --> 01:02:12,628
low-budget TV-magician clothes.
1022
01:02:12,629 --> 01:02:15,331
And your greasy, ratty hair
1023
01:02:15,332 --> 01:02:18,769
and these big, dumb, dopey donkey eyes.
1024
01:02:20,304 --> 01:02:21,338
You know what?
1025
01:02:22,072 --> 01:02:25,141
You need to move away from me right now--
1026
01:02:25,142 --> 01:02:26,910
What was I supposed to do?
1027
01:02:26,911 --> 01:02:29,278
- He was a karate master. - Move...
1028
01:02:29,279 --> 01:02:32,015
away... from...
1029
01:02:32,016 --> 01:02:34,117
me... now.
1030
01:02:34,118 --> 01:02:35,785
Mildred, be serious.
1031
01:02:35,786 --> 01:02:37,922
Like, 20 paces. Like we're in a duel. Go!
1032
01:02:46,230 --> 01:02:48,431
That wasn't 20 paces.
1033
01:02:48,432 --> 01:02:52,535
That was, like, 11 paces. And I can still see you.
1034
01:02:52,536 --> 01:02:55,371
Like a greasy smudge on the world.
1035
01:02:55,372 --> 01:02:56,807
Bugger off further.
1036
01:03:00,177 --> 01:03:01,444
It all makes sense now.
1037
01:03:01,445 --> 01:03:02,846
What makes sense?
1038
01:03:02,847 --> 01:03:04,414
Why you don't have any friends at school.
1039
01:03:05,415 --> 01:03:07,183
Why your mother never wants to take you camping.
1040
01:03:07,184 --> 01:03:08,484
Excuse me?
1041
01:03:08,485 --> 01:03:11,054
You know, this entire trip,
1042
01:03:11,055 --> 01:03:13,522
you've been nothing but a grade-A D-bag.
1043
01:03:13,523 --> 01:03:15,358
Yeah? Well, it takes one, to know one, doesn't it?
1044
01:03:15,359 --> 01:03:18,227
A pretentious, prickly runt.
1045
01:03:18,228 --> 01:03:19,362
I know you are. You said you were.
1046
01:03:19,363 --> 01:03:20,464
So, what am I?
1047
01:03:23,067 --> 01:03:24,101
You're an asshole.
1048
01:03:30,240 --> 01:03:32,708
Twenty paces? You know what? Let's make it 50.
1049
01:03:32,709 --> 01:03:36,980
You know? Screw that. A hundred and fifty paces.
1050
01:03:36,981 --> 01:03:40,483
One, two, three, four,
1051
01:03:40,484 --> 01:03:44,253
five, six, seven, eight, nine,
1052
01:03:44,254 --> 01:03:46,489
ten, eleven, twelve...
1053
01:03:46,490 --> 01:03:50,694
thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen...
1054
01:03:52,829 --> 01:03:57,766
119, 120, 121, 122...
1055
01:03:57,767 --> 01:04:00,304
123...
1056
01:04:04,108 --> 01:04:05,674
I can never do anything right.
1057
01:04:05,675 --> 01:04:06,776
Ungrateful...
1058
01:04:12,950 --> 01:04:15,519
Stupid nail polish...
1059
01:04:16,520 --> 01:04:18,621
low-budget TV magician.
1060
01:04:18,622 --> 01:04:20,423
Mildred!
1061
01:04:20,424 --> 01:04:22,091
Greasy, ratty hair.
1062
01:04:25,695 --> 01:04:26,729
Hello?
1063
01:04:32,002 --> 01:04:33,636
Oh!
1064
01:04:43,113 --> 01:04:44,313
Hello?
1065
01:04:44,314 --> 01:04:47,317
Hello?
1066
01:05:18,248 --> 01:05:21,117
What's the matter, Mr. Twizted Illusions?
1067
01:05:21,118 --> 01:05:23,519
Got scared in the big, dark, spooky stones?
1068
01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:24,621
No.
1069
01:05:27,457 --> 01:05:29,858
Yeah. Okay, I did.
1070
01:05:29,859 --> 01:05:30,960
I got lost,
1071
01:05:30,961 --> 01:05:32,095
I hurt my ankle,
1072
01:05:32,096 --> 01:05:33,829
and I heard some weird sounds
1073
01:05:33,830 --> 01:05:35,364
that made me very uncomfortable.
1074
01:05:35,365 --> 01:05:37,367
Listen to me. We have two options.
1075
01:05:38,402 --> 01:05:39,969
Yeah? And they are?
1076
01:05:39,970 --> 01:05:41,437
Live or die.
1077
01:05:41,438 --> 01:05:43,306
It really is that simple.
1078
01:05:43,307 --> 01:05:44,807
Now, don't know about you,
1079
01:05:44,808 --> 01:05:46,609
but I would quite like to live.
1080
01:05:46,610 --> 01:05:49,945
And I plan on getting that 50 grand back, too.
1081
01:05:49,946 --> 01:05:51,048
With or without you.
1082
01:05:56,186 --> 01:05:58,787
We are days away from anywhere.
1083
01:05:58,788 --> 01:06:03,026
We have no food, no map, no fishing rod, no matches.
1084
01:06:03,027 --> 01:06:04,293
- They took-- - Everything.
1085
01:06:04,294 --> 01:06:06,263
I know. They took everything.
1086
01:06:08,232 --> 01:06:10,633
So? What now?
1087
01:06:10,634 --> 01:06:13,437
Are you familiar with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs?
1088
01:06:15,905 --> 01:06:20,343
Abraham Maslow, 1943, The Hierarchy of Needs.
1089
01:06:20,344 --> 01:06:22,078
At the base of the pyramid,
1090
01:06:22,079 --> 01:06:23,346
fundamental human needs,
1091
01:06:23,347 --> 01:06:25,914
the very foundations of survival.
1092
01:06:25,915 --> 01:06:29,352
Warmth, shelter, food, and water.
1093
01:06:29,353 --> 01:06:32,188
Shelter, we have.
1094
01:06:32,189 --> 01:06:34,223
Warmth, we have.
1095
01:06:34,224 --> 01:06:38,027
All things considered, we're off to a pretty good start.
1096
01:06:38,028 --> 01:06:41,764
Now, as calories are in short supply,
1097
01:06:41,765 --> 01:06:44,101
I suggest we make camp...
1098
01:06:46,070 --> 01:06:47,270
by that lake down there.
1099
01:06:47,271 --> 01:06:51,174
We'll have food and water on our doorstep.
1100
01:06:51,175 --> 01:06:54,177
We can plot our next move from there with clear heads
1101
01:06:54,178 --> 01:06:55,445
and full bellies.
1102
01:06:57,281 --> 01:06:58,615
Now, tell me, Strawn,
1103
01:07:00,417 --> 01:07:01,451
Can you whittle?
1104
01:07:02,519 --> 01:07:03,553
Can I what?
1105
01:07:30,180 --> 01:07:32,748
Keep going. You're getting there.
1106
01:07:47,731 --> 01:07:49,699
Come... on...
1107
01:07:51,735 --> 01:07:53,969
- Get back. I've got this. - You sure about that?
1108
01:07:53,970 --> 01:07:55,271
Yes, I'm sure about that.
1109
01:07:55,272 --> 01:07:57,072
I've read all about it.
1110
01:07:57,073 --> 01:07:58,407
Well, just 'cause you've read about it doesn't mean you...
1111
01:07:58,408 --> 01:08:00,743
Silence. I need to concentrate.
1112
01:08:00,744 --> 01:08:02,045
Go and whittle.
1113
01:08:08,318 --> 01:08:10,085
How did you...
1114
01:08:10,086 --> 01:08:11,188
It's called magic.
1115
01:08:12,356 --> 01:08:14,357
The thumb flint.
1116
01:08:14,358 --> 01:08:17,326
"An essential weapon in any illusionist's arsenal."
1117
01:08:17,327 --> 01:08:18,595
Found a spare one.
1118
01:08:24,434 --> 01:08:25,469
Oh.
1119
01:08:27,404 --> 01:08:28,438
Christ...
1120
01:08:29,739 --> 01:08:32,775
Sorry. I guess I'm not very good at whittling.
1121
01:08:32,776 --> 01:08:34,877
No, I didn't think you would be.
1122
01:08:34,878 --> 01:08:36,679
That's why I asked you to do it.
1123
01:08:36,680 --> 01:08:37,780
What?
1124
01:08:37,781 --> 01:08:39,615
I wanted to give you something
1125
01:08:39,616 --> 01:08:41,985
to occupy your mind, to focus on.
1126
01:08:43,019 --> 01:08:44,387
It's worked.
1127
01:08:44,388 --> 01:08:45,621
You've calmed down, haven't you?
1128
01:08:45,622 --> 01:08:47,456
We're still stranded out here.
1129
01:08:47,457 --> 01:08:50,126
And... voila!
1130
01:08:50,760 --> 01:08:51,795
Oh.
1131
01:08:52,429 --> 01:08:53,662
I'm going in.
1132
01:08:53,663 --> 01:08:55,465
What?
1133
01:09:05,409 --> 01:09:07,410
What, you really think you're gonna be able to catch a--
1134
01:09:11,147 --> 01:09:13,249
Look at this great big bugger!
1135
01:09:13,250 --> 01:09:15,184
Mmm.
1136
01:09:22,892 --> 01:09:24,727
Fancy a spot of tea, old chap?
1137
01:09:24,728 --> 01:09:26,094
Mmm.
1138
01:09:26,095 --> 01:09:28,431
God, I would kill for a cup of tea.
1139
01:09:28,432 --> 01:09:29,533
Well.
1140
01:09:31,735 --> 01:09:32,802
Piper excelsum.
1141
01:09:33,903 --> 01:09:37,105
Known around these parts as Kawakawa.
1142
01:09:37,106 --> 01:09:38,541
Kawakawa?
1143
01:09:38,542 --> 01:09:41,009
It has powerful antiseptic properties
1144
01:09:41,010 --> 01:09:44,046
and it happens to taste scrump-diddly-umptious too.
1145
01:09:44,047 --> 01:09:45,181
Sling that down your gullet.
1146
01:09:49,753 --> 01:09:52,054
That's good. Really good.
1147
01:09:52,055 --> 01:09:53,189
Mmm.
1148
01:09:57,961 --> 01:09:58,995
You know, Strawn?
1149
01:10:00,163 --> 01:10:01,231
I don't think less of you.
1150
01:10:02,932 --> 01:10:04,433
W... what?
1151
01:10:04,434 --> 01:10:06,236
That's what you're thinking, isn't it?
1152
01:10:08,472 --> 01:10:11,140
That you... failed to be a man...
1153
01:10:14,378 --> 01:10:16,580
You crapped the bed as a protector...
1154
01:10:19,516 --> 01:10:21,417
and your weakness put us in grave danger
1155
01:10:21,418 --> 01:10:24,119
and now... we're two of the 8,000 people
1156
01:10:24,120 --> 01:10:25,822
who go missing in New Zealand every year.
1157
01:10:28,057 --> 01:10:29,426
All because you're weak.
1158
01:10:30,627 --> 01:10:31,661
And naive.
1159
01:10:33,997 --> 01:10:35,699
And you refused the call to action
1160
01:10:37,367 --> 01:10:38,402
like a coward.
1161
01:10:41,037 --> 01:10:42,272
Is that what you really think?
1162
01:10:44,207 --> 01:10:46,276
No. No, that's what I think you think.
1163
01:10:49,346 --> 01:10:50,614
What part of it isn't true?
1164
01:10:54,684 --> 01:10:56,252
God, I really messed this up, didn't I?
1165
01:10:59,356 --> 01:11:00,924
I let him take everything.
1166
01:11:02,559 --> 01:11:03,992
I let him.
1167
01:11:03,993 --> 01:11:06,261
I just handed it to him on a silver platter.
1168
01:11:06,262 --> 01:11:07,364
Just like you said.
1169
01:11:10,266 --> 01:11:13,102
You're talking about Arnold or David Blaine?
1170
01:11:15,238 --> 01:11:17,105
Sorry.
1171
01:11:17,106 --> 01:11:18,207
Look.
1172
01:11:19,743 --> 01:11:20,809
We lost it all.
1173
01:11:20,810 --> 01:11:22,110
It's a kick in the head, no doubt.
1174
01:11:22,111 --> 01:11:24,680
But, we've got grub in our guts,
1175
01:11:24,681 --> 01:11:27,683
air in our lungs, and somewhere cozy to sleep.
1176
01:11:27,684 --> 01:11:29,652
We're not done yet, mate.
1177
01:11:29,653 --> 01:11:31,019
No way.
1178
01:11:31,020 --> 01:11:32,589
No bloody way.
1179
01:11:41,531 --> 01:11:42,566
Mildred.
1180
01:11:44,868 --> 01:11:45,902
Yeah?
1181
01:11:48,237 --> 01:11:49,272
I'll look after you.
1182
01:12:35,652 --> 01:12:37,386
Ooh!
1183
01:12:37,387 --> 01:12:39,287
See these black and green mushrooms?
1184
01:12:39,288 --> 01:12:41,223
Yeah.
1185
01:12:41,224 --> 01:12:43,859
Well, if we ever get separated,
1186
01:12:43,860 --> 01:12:44,994
don't ever eat those.
1187
01:12:46,162 --> 01:12:47,397
Why? What happens?
1188
01:12:48,765 --> 01:12:51,634
Full body numbness, hallucinations, possible nausea,
1189
01:12:51,635 --> 01:12:52,801
and projectile vomiting.
1190
01:12:52,802 --> 01:12:54,203
Oh. Sounds fun.
1191
01:12:55,505 --> 01:12:57,640
I'm obviously kidding.
1192
01:12:57,641 --> 01:12:59,274
Don't do drugs. Drugs are bad.
1193
01:12:59,275 --> 01:13:01,511
Drugs tear families and communities apart.
1194
01:13:03,780 --> 01:13:05,849
Ah, here we go.
1195
01:13:09,218 --> 01:13:11,320
Pleurotus parsonsaie.
1196
01:13:12,355 --> 01:13:13,857
Velvet oyster mushrooms.
1197
01:13:19,195 --> 01:13:20,763
I've always wanted to try these.
1198
01:13:20,764 --> 01:13:22,931
Why? Looks disgusting.
1199
01:13:22,932 --> 01:13:24,767
You know what looks disgusting?
1200
01:13:24,768 --> 01:13:27,937
The corpses that have succumbed to starvation in the wilderness.
1201
01:13:30,907 --> 01:13:31,941
Dead people.
1202
01:13:36,480 --> 01:13:38,214
Hey. What is it?
1203
01:13:39,849 --> 01:13:41,718
Mildred, you okay?
1204
01:13:48,825 --> 01:13:49,959
I have to tell you something.
1205
01:13:51,160 --> 01:13:53,662
It'll change the way you look at me,
1206
01:13:53,663 --> 01:13:56,264
forever, probably, but...
1207
01:13:56,265 --> 01:13:57,332
I have to say it.
1208
01:13:57,333 --> 01:13:58,868
Okay.
1209
01:14:04,674 --> 01:14:05,809
I used to wish...
1210
01:14:08,277 --> 01:14:10,379
my mum would just disappear.
1211
01:14:13,617 --> 01:14:16,586
I'd... lie awake at night...
1212
01:14:18,588 --> 01:14:19,988
just hoping
1213
01:14:19,989 --> 01:14:21,658
that she wouldn't be there when I woke up.
1214
01:14:25,762 --> 01:14:26,796
And you'd come.
1215
01:14:31,535 --> 01:14:32,668
And you'd understand me.
1216
01:14:32,669 --> 01:14:35,605
You'd really understand me...
1217
01:14:38,074 --> 01:14:39,175
like she never could.
1218
01:14:42,646 --> 01:14:44,412
We'd do things together.
1219
01:14:44,413 --> 01:14:47,183
All the things that Mum is too afraid to do.
1220
01:14:50,620 --> 01:14:51,655
Like go camping.
1221
01:14:52,989 --> 01:14:54,523
Hunting.
1222
01:14:54,524 --> 01:14:56,224
Fishing.
1223
01:14:56,225 --> 01:14:58,193
You know?
1224
01:14:58,194 --> 01:14:59,529
Stuff of adventures.
1225
01:15:08,572 --> 01:15:10,339
And...
1226
01:15:12,742 --> 01:15:14,443
...maybe my wish did come true.
1227
01:15:18,414 --> 01:15:19,616
But in the wrong ways.
1228
01:15:30,259 --> 01:15:31,795
I don't want my mum to go now.
1229
01:15:33,329 --> 01:15:34,664
I don't want her to go.
1230
01:15:41,037 --> 01:15:42,706
And as for you understanding me...
1231
01:15:50,146 --> 01:15:51,480
Here. Have a tissue.
1232
01:17:19,535 --> 01:17:20,970
Is this what you wanted?
1233
01:17:22,038 --> 01:17:23,038
Toast!
1234
01:17:33,116 --> 01:17:35,018
Hey. What is it?
1235
01:17:40,656 --> 01:17:41,691
What is it?
1236
01:17:45,962 --> 01:17:47,363
I had a bad dream and...
1237
01:17:48,597 --> 01:17:50,033
and now I need to go wee.
1238
01:17:52,335 --> 01:17:53,602
I don't want to go on my own.
1239
01:17:55,138 --> 01:17:56,272
Yeah. Okay.
1240
01:17:57,406 --> 01:17:58,541
Let me get my boots.
1241
01:18:29,638 --> 01:18:31,907
Why does it have to involve so much walking?
1242
01:18:31,908 --> 01:18:33,541
Could we just shoplift?
1243
01:18:33,542 --> 01:18:35,778
Shut up, will you. It's about me and you.
1244
01:18:35,779 --> 01:18:38,480
These wee crimes are supposed to bring us together,
1245
01:18:38,481 --> 01:18:40,282
but at the moment,
1246
01:18:40,283 --> 01:18:43,118
all I want to be is a million bloody miles away from you.
1247
01:18:46,856 --> 01:18:48,924
- It's them. - Who?
1248
01:18:48,925 --> 01:18:50,125
Who'd you think?
1249
01:18:50,126 --> 01:18:51,426
The buggers who kidnapped me,
1250
01:18:51,427 --> 01:18:52,961
took our belongings, left us for dead.
1251
01:18:52,962 --> 01:18:54,429
Think you remember them?
1252
01:18:54,430 --> 01:18:55,898
What should we do?
1253
01:18:55,899 --> 01:18:58,266
- Isn't it obvious? - Obvious?
1254
01:18:58,267 --> 01:18:59,601
No, it's not obvious.
1255
01:18:59,602 --> 01:19:02,070
In fact, it's very far from obvious.
1256
01:19:02,071 --> 01:19:03,907
Hey. Where are you going?
1257
01:19:05,508 --> 01:19:06,842
You can't leave me alone, woman.
1258
01:19:06,843 --> 01:19:08,343
Come on. Well?
1259
01:19:08,344 --> 01:19:09,611
Let it go.
1260
01:19:09,612 --> 01:19:11,013
- Wait here. - Let it go.
1261
01:19:11,014 --> 01:19:12,014
Let it go?
1262
01:19:12,015 --> 01:19:13,015
You snog my sister,
1263
01:19:13,016 --> 01:19:14,582
I'm supposed to just let it go?!
1264
01:19:14,583 --> 01:19:16,118
How many times do I got to tell you?
1265
01:19:16,119 --> 01:19:17,352
I want to talk about you.
1266
01:19:17,353 --> 01:19:18,653
Put your head in the sand
1267
01:19:18,654 --> 01:19:20,155
and everything's gone away,
1268
01:19:20,156 --> 01:19:23,091
go away, just ignoring everything,
1269
01:19:23,092 --> 01:19:25,327
- when we have to talk-- - Shut up, woman, for God's sake.
1270
01:19:25,328 --> 01:19:27,429
Just let it go. Please.
1271
01:19:27,430 --> 01:19:29,031
- Let it go? - All night.
1272
01:19:29,032 --> 01:19:30,799
You've been at me all night.
1273
01:19:30,800 --> 01:19:32,634
You snogged my sister.
1274
01:19:32,635 --> 01:19:34,102
You want me to just let it go?
1275
01:19:34,103 --> 01:19:36,671
Number one. It was five years ago.
1276
01:19:36,672 --> 01:19:38,841
- Can you not let it go? - My sister.
1277
01:19:38,842 --> 01:19:40,675
- Number two... - My sister!
1278
01:19:40,676 --> 01:19:43,378
...I was drunk. She was drunk.
1279
01:19:43,379 --> 01:19:44,679
Number three.
1280
01:19:44,680 --> 01:19:48,116
She was terrible in bed. Her breath stunk.
1281
01:19:48,117 --> 01:19:50,618
Being an adult... You know, I mean...
1282
01:19:50,619 --> 01:19:52,354
Relationships are just so damn complicated.
1283
01:19:52,355 --> 01:19:54,122
Shh. Just listen.
1284
01:19:54,123 --> 01:19:55,858
...a vomit-flavored stick...
1285
01:19:55,859 --> 01:19:57,525
All I want to do is just get some sleep.
1286
01:19:57,526 --> 01:19:59,461
Please. I beg you.
1287
01:19:59,462 --> 01:20:01,796
Yeah. Sweet dreams.
1288
01:20:01,797 --> 01:20:03,331
- Ah, shut up, woman. - Wait.
1289
01:20:03,332 --> 01:20:05,167
You're not seriously gonna grab our stuff, are you?
1290
01:20:05,168 --> 01:20:07,236
I'm seriously going to grab our stuff.
1291
01:20:08,271 --> 01:20:10,572
Okay. Here's the plan.
1292
01:20:10,573 --> 01:20:13,041
I'm going to grab their bag and I'm gonna toss it to you.
1293
01:20:13,042 --> 01:20:14,709
Just like a rugby ball.
1294
01:20:14,710 --> 01:20:16,678
Then we're both just going to sprint up to our tent.
1295
01:20:16,679 --> 01:20:18,180
- Yeah? - What?
1296
01:20:18,181 --> 01:20:19,714
And lead them straight back to our headquarters?
1297
01:20:19,715 --> 01:20:21,016
Oh, yeah.
1298
01:20:21,017 --> 01:20:22,318
You're totally right.
1299
01:20:25,054 --> 01:20:26,521
Okay.
1300
01:20:26,522 --> 01:20:27,990
I'm going to run up to that high ground there.
1301
01:20:27,991 --> 01:20:28,924
What if they catch us?
1302
01:20:28,925 --> 01:20:30,258
- They won't. - Why?
1303
01:20:30,259 --> 01:20:31,894
'Cause I'm gonna throw their boots
1304
01:20:31,895 --> 01:20:34,162
into the bush and snap the tent zipper off.
1305
01:20:34,163 --> 01:20:35,363
Okay. That's officially
1306
01:20:35,364 --> 01:20:36,398
the craziest thing I've ever heard.
1307
01:20:36,399 --> 01:20:38,400
I know. I'm bloody jazzed too.
1308
01:20:40,436 --> 01:20:41,536
Okay.
1309
01:20:41,537 --> 01:20:43,571
Hear that?
1310
01:20:43,572 --> 01:20:45,340
They're snoring already.
1311
01:20:45,341 --> 01:20:47,609
We need to move with maximum speed
1312
01:20:47,610 --> 01:20:49,211
and maximum stealth.
1313
01:20:49,212 --> 01:20:50,778
Go. Go. Go.
1314
01:20:50,779 --> 01:20:52,515
- Wait, wait, wait. - No, no, no.
1315
01:20:53,516 --> 01:20:55,151
Jesus!
1316
01:21:20,176 --> 01:21:21,744
Shh... shh.
1317
01:21:38,294 --> 01:21:39,995
Ah.
1318
01:21:39,996 --> 01:21:41,463
- What's going on? - Go, Go!
1319
01:21:41,464 --> 01:21:43,265
Angelina!
1320
01:21:43,266 --> 01:21:44,499
You thieving swine!
1321
01:21:44,500 --> 01:21:47,603
I'll kill you! Ah!
1322
01:21:50,639 --> 01:21:52,175
Get them, Jethro!
1323
01:21:53,176 --> 01:21:54,342
Oi!
1324
01:21:54,343 --> 01:21:55,343
It's our property now!
1325
01:21:59,515 --> 01:22:01,117
Come here, you.
1326
01:22:01,717 --> 01:22:02,917
I'll kill yous!
1327
01:22:02,918 --> 01:22:04,452
Come here!
1328
01:22:04,453 --> 01:22:05,753
- That's my stuff! - Come on!
1329
01:22:05,754 --> 01:22:07,822
- He's going to catch us! - No, he's not.
1330
01:22:07,823 --> 01:22:09,791
How can you be sure?
1331
01:22:09,792 --> 01:22:11,427
Look at the ground!
1332
01:22:13,029 --> 01:22:14,429
Come back here!
1333
01:22:17,000 --> 01:22:18,100
Come on!
1334
01:22:18,101 --> 01:22:20,002
Well done!
1335
01:22:20,003 --> 01:22:21,604
Hey!
1336
01:22:24,507 --> 01:22:26,309
Ow!
1337
01:22:29,312 --> 01:22:31,147
I'm gonna kill you!
1338
01:22:33,716 --> 01:22:35,717
I'm gonna kill you!
1339
01:22:41,257 --> 01:22:42,324
Ooh.
1340
01:22:48,097 --> 01:22:49,864
Listen, you muppets!
1341
01:22:49,865 --> 01:22:51,766
It wasn't personal before,
1342
01:22:51,767 --> 01:22:54,837
but it's really personal now!
1343
01:22:56,072 --> 01:23:00,375
Oh, I've made a catastrophic blunder.
1344
01:23:00,376 --> 01:23:02,244
What? Why?
1345
01:23:02,245 --> 01:23:04,680
I appear to have led us
1346
01:23:06,582 --> 01:23:07,682
to a cliff-edge.
1347
01:23:07,683 --> 01:23:08,784
Oh.
1348
01:23:18,861 --> 01:23:20,196
Um...
1349
01:23:27,570 --> 01:23:28,504
Well...
1350
01:23:30,239 --> 01:23:32,340
Ah, I guess we could hide out
1351
01:23:32,341 --> 01:23:34,909
and slowly make our way back to camp?
1352
01:23:34,910 --> 01:23:36,712
We need to make sure we've still got the proof.
1353
01:23:37,746 --> 01:23:38,714
- Get the camera. - Right.
1354
01:23:42,785 --> 01:23:43,886
Here.
1355
01:23:46,021 --> 01:23:47,356
Okay.
1356
01:23:48,424 --> 01:23:50,092
Okay, darling.
1357
01:23:50,093 --> 01:23:51,259
Looking great.
1358
01:23:52,795 --> 01:23:54,529
That's it. Lovely. Give me a bit more hair.
1359
01:23:54,530 --> 01:23:56,731
- Is that good? How's that? - Yeah. You look...
1360
01:23:56,732 --> 01:23:58,433
Oh, you look beautiful. Just, now just, now, flick it.
1361
01:23:58,434 --> 01:24:00,302
Flick it like your sister. Go, flick like...
1362
01:24:00,303 --> 01:24:01,536
What did you say?
1363
01:24:01,537 --> 01:24:02,770
I said, flick your hair.
1364
01:24:02,771 --> 01:24:03,972
What?
1365
01:24:07,543 --> 01:24:08,677
They recorded over it.
1366
01:24:13,316 --> 01:24:15,250
And they drained the bloody battery.
1367
01:24:15,251 --> 01:24:17,720
Fifty grand. Gone again.
1368
01:24:20,223 --> 01:24:21,324
Strawn?
1369
01:24:22,325 --> 01:24:24,292
We may have some more pressing issues right now.
1370
01:24:24,293 --> 01:24:26,362
What could possibly be more pressing than this?
1371
01:24:29,198 --> 01:24:31,633
Oh, this is definitely more pressing.
1372
01:24:31,634 --> 01:24:33,536
Yeah. My thoughts exactly.
1373
01:24:35,504 --> 01:24:37,905
He looks hungry. They get bold when they're hungry.
1374
01:24:37,906 --> 01:24:40,276
Maybe there's some food in their bag.
1375
01:24:41,977 --> 01:24:43,745
Reach in slowly and have a look.
1376
01:24:46,249 --> 01:24:48,117
Anything?
1377
01:24:52,321 --> 01:24:53,856
Let's see if they like ham sandwiches.
1378
01:25:11,940 --> 01:25:13,375
All right, come on. We gotta move.
1379
01:25:16,212 --> 01:25:18,647
Oh!
1380
01:25:25,254 --> 01:25:27,289
Um, can panthers climb ropes?
1381
01:25:28,791 --> 01:25:29,957
No, they can't.
1382
01:25:29,958 --> 01:25:31,059
Alright, get on.
1383
01:25:34,096 --> 01:25:35,530
Go, go, go, go.
1384
01:25:41,437 --> 01:25:42,870
Don't stop moving.
1385
01:25:45,174 --> 01:25:46,609
Nice kitty!
1386
01:25:53,382 --> 01:25:57,051
Just keep going.
1387
01:25:57,052 --> 01:25:58,321
Don't stop!
1388
01:26:10,666 --> 01:26:12,234
It's trying to tear the rope!
1389
01:26:21,410 --> 01:26:22,611
Ah!
1390
01:26:23,746 --> 01:26:24,780
We're gonna make it.
1391
01:26:27,082 --> 01:26:28,883
Ow. Ow, my hands hurt.
1392
01:26:28,884 --> 01:26:30,518
I can't hold on.
1393
01:26:30,519 --> 01:26:31,619
- You can do it. - Ah.
1394
01:26:31,620 --> 01:26:32,720
Keep going.
1395
01:26:32,721 --> 01:26:33,921
Ow!
1396
01:26:36,659 --> 01:26:37,692
I can't do it.
1397
01:26:37,693 --> 01:26:39,394
Yes, you can. You got this.
1398
01:26:44,700 --> 01:26:46,301
You've got it! It's okay.
1399
01:26:46,302 --> 01:26:47,403
- Mildred! - Ah!
1400
01:26:49,972 --> 01:26:51,373
I'm coming.
1401
01:26:54,877 --> 01:26:56,210
Now, hold on!
1402
01:26:58,113 --> 01:26:59,382
No, no, no, no, no.
1403
01:27:00,883 --> 01:27:01,983
No!
1404
01:27:01,984 --> 01:27:03,218
Strawn, help me!
1405
01:27:04,320 --> 01:27:05,921
Help!
1406
01:27:06,989 --> 01:27:08,390
- Strawn! - I'm coming.
1407
01:27:08,391 --> 01:27:11,993
Mildred!
1408
01:27:11,994 --> 01:27:13,995
- I'm slipping. - No!
1409
01:27:13,996 --> 01:27:15,730
Don't let go. No!
1410
01:27:15,731 --> 01:27:18,334
No! No, no, no!
1411
01:27:20,703 --> 01:27:21,969
Hold on!
1412
01:27:21,970 --> 01:27:24,138
Strawn! Help!
1413
01:27:24,139 --> 01:27:26,308
Mildred!
1414
01:27:29,312 --> 01:27:31,112
Strawn, I'm gonna...
1415
01:27:31,113 --> 01:27:32,514
No!
1416
01:27:32,515 --> 01:27:34,516
- No! - I got you.
1417
01:27:34,517 --> 01:27:36,017
I got you. Look at me.
1418
01:27:36,018 --> 01:27:37,685
- Strawn, I'm slipping. - Mildred!
1419
01:27:37,686 --> 01:27:39,555
- Mildred, look at me. - I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die!
1420
01:27:41,557 --> 01:27:44,158
Wrist strength of a professional wrestler.
1421
01:27:44,159 --> 01:27:45,394
Remember?
1422
01:27:49,097 --> 01:27:51,933
Now, just stay calm.
1423
01:27:51,934 --> 01:27:53,435
When you're ready, I want you to...
1424
01:28:45,488 --> 01:28:48,723
Help!
1425
01:28:48,724 --> 01:28:50,558
Mildred.
1426
01:28:56,865 --> 01:28:57,966
Ah!
1427
01:29:01,870 --> 01:29:03,605
Mildred!
1428
01:29:03,606 --> 01:29:05,673
Help.
1429
01:29:05,674 --> 01:29:07,575
Strawn, help me! Help me, please!
1430
01:29:07,576 --> 01:29:08,843
Oh God!
1431
01:29:08,844 --> 01:29:11,045
Ow! Ow, don't move it.
1432
01:29:11,046 --> 01:29:12,780
Oh.
1433
01:29:12,781 --> 01:29:14,616
- Jesus. - Ow! Ow!
1434
01:29:14,617 --> 01:29:17,185
It's going to be okay, Mildred. You're gonna be fine.
1435
01:29:18,153 --> 01:29:19,187
Mushrooms.
1436
01:29:20,489 --> 01:29:22,123
Huh?
1437
01:29:22,124 --> 01:29:23,391
Why are you talking about mushrooms?
1438
01:29:23,392 --> 01:29:24,660
For the pain.
1439
01:29:26,328 --> 01:29:27,762
Please.
1440
01:29:27,763 --> 01:29:28,964
Right. Yeah.
1441
01:29:33,436 --> 01:29:35,870
- Come on. Come on... - Strawn!
1442
01:29:35,871 --> 01:29:40,542
Help! Come on!
1443
01:29:40,543 --> 01:29:41,610
Ah!
1444
01:29:43,278 --> 01:29:44,880
Oh, damn it.
1445
01:29:46,048 --> 01:29:47,482
Ah...
1446
01:29:47,483 --> 01:29:49,116
Strawn!
1447
01:29:49,117 --> 01:29:50,452
Screw it!
1448
01:29:58,994 --> 01:30:01,963
I got all of them. Um, which ones?
1449
01:30:01,964 --> 01:30:04,632
Green and... Green and black.
1450
01:30:04,633 --> 01:30:07,669
This? Are you sure?
1451
01:30:07,670 --> 01:30:08,871
Yeah.
1452
01:30:18,547 --> 01:30:19,848
Hold my hand.
1453
01:30:30,258 --> 01:30:32,227
I'm so, so sorry.
1454
01:30:42,571 --> 01:30:43,639
Mildred?
1455
01:30:51,046 --> 01:30:52,547
Oh...
1456
01:30:52,548 --> 01:30:53,482
Mildred...?
1457
01:30:54,416 --> 01:30:55,383
Wake up.
1458
01:30:56,418 --> 01:30:57,452
Wake up.
1459
01:31:00,388 --> 01:31:01,423
Hey there.
1460
01:31:03,125 --> 01:31:04,159
Welcome back.
1461
01:31:05,393 --> 01:31:06,461
I feel fizzy.
1462
01:31:12,735 --> 01:31:13,902
What are you thinking?
1463
01:31:15,103 --> 01:31:17,905
I'm thinking that between getting you kidnapped,
1464
01:31:17,906 --> 01:31:19,641
attacked by a panther,
1465
01:31:19,642 --> 01:31:21,142
thrown off a cliff,
1466
01:31:21,143 --> 01:31:23,477
and feeding you weird mushrooms,
1467
01:31:23,478 --> 01:31:24,979
I've secured my place
1468
01:31:24,980 --> 01:31:26,749
on the Mount Rushmore of disappointing dads.
1469
01:31:27,783 --> 01:31:29,751
No, it's great.
1470
01:31:29,752 --> 01:31:31,553
It's all great.
1471
01:31:31,554 --> 01:31:33,187
I'm great.
1472
01:31:33,188 --> 01:31:34,289
You're great.
1473
01:31:36,058 --> 01:31:37,925
The planet is really great.
1474
01:31:37,926 --> 01:31:40,361
It's all so bloody great.
1475
01:31:44,132 --> 01:31:45,499
Now might be a good time to get
1476
01:31:45,500 --> 01:31:48,069
that great, big, bloody tree off my legs.
1477
01:31:48,070 --> 01:31:50,105
Come on, Dad.
1478
01:31:51,974 --> 01:31:53,675
What did you say?
1479
01:31:53,676 --> 01:31:55,644
What? Nothing.
1480
01:31:57,412 --> 01:31:58,547
You called me "Dad."
1481
01:31:59,648 --> 01:32:00,683
Did I?
1482
01:32:01,784 --> 01:32:03,151
Yeah, you did.
1483
01:32:09,925 --> 01:32:11,593
Ready?
1484
01:32:11,594 --> 01:32:12,795
Alright.
1485
01:32:21,236 --> 01:32:22,403
Come on.
1486
01:32:26,341 --> 01:32:27,375
Come on!
1487
01:32:31,614 --> 01:32:33,348
I... I can't do it.
1488
01:32:34,449 --> 01:32:35,883
It's too heavy.
1489
01:32:35,884 --> 01:32:37,219
Ace of diamonds.
1490
01:32:40,522 --> 01:32:42,157
- What? - The magic trick...
1491
01:32:43,558 --> 01:32:44,593
on the window...
1492
01:32:45,694 --> 01:32:47,029
when we met.
1493
01:32:48,797 --> 01:32:51,834
I lied. I lied to you.
1494
01:32:55,938 --> 01:32:57,839
It was my card.
1495
01:33:00,242 --> 01:33:02,110
Come on, Dad. You can do this.
1496
01:33:05,513 --> 01:33:08,016
"Believe in magic." That's what you said.
1497
01:34:24,126 --> 01:34:25,527
I've had enough of camping.
1498
01:34:27,062 --> 01:34:28,330
Can we go home now?
1499
01:34:30,132 --> 01:34:31,266
What are the magic words?
1500
01:34:33,969 --> 01:34:35,270
I love you...
1501
01:34:36,438 --> 01:34:37,505
with all of my heart.
1502
01:34:51,854 --> 01:34:54,088
What are you doing?
1503
01:34:54,089 --> 01:34:55,957
Oh, you might not be familiar with this.
1504
01:34:55,958 --> 01:34:58,625
This is called keeping your kit clean.
1505
01:34:58,626 --> 01:35:00,294
Just chuck it in the car.
1506
01:35:00,295 --> 01:35:02,596
You've got to be kidding me.
1507
01:35:02,597 --> 01:35:04,698
Hey. That's your answer for everything, isn't it?
1508
01:35:04,699 --> 01:35:06,734
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
1509
01:35:06,735 --> 01:35:08,936
Okay, look, just shut up, Jethro.
1510
01:35:08,937 --> 01:35:10,071
Shut up forever.
1511
01:35:10,072 --> 01:35:11,572
Okay, okay, I got it.
1512
01:35:11,573 --> 01:35:12,940
No, I'm driving.
1513
01:35:12,941 --> 01:35:14,641
Why do you keep banging on about that?
1514
01:35:14,642 --> 01:35:16,110
On and on and on about that?
1515
01:35:16,111 --> 01:35:17,745
I'm driving--
1516
01:35:17,746 --> 01:35:19,146
Oi, oi...
1517
01:35:19,147 --> 01:35:21,448
- Get him! - Hey, stop!
1518
01:35:21,449 --> 01:35:23,050
- Come here you! - Stop them, Jethro!
1519
01:35:23,051 --> 01:35:24,451
Come here.
1520
01:35:24,452 --> 01:35:25,988
- Leave it alone! - Ah!
1521
01:35:26,889 --> 01:35:28,322
That's my Plymouth!
1522
01:35:28,323 --> 01:35:30,057
Jethro, just grab the car.
1523
01:35:30,058 --> 01:35:31,893
Go easy on the clutch!
1524
01:35:31,894 --> 01:35:34,062
Useless!
1525
01:35:34,963 --> 01:35:38,333
Those bloody muppets are even worse than us.
1526
01:35:45,908 --> 01:35:47,341
Whoo!
1527
01:35:47,342 --> 01:35:48,742
It's okay.
1528
01:35:49,945 --> 01:35:51,913
Everything's gonna be okay.
1529
01:35:51,914 --> 01:35:53,181
I promise.
1530
01:36:33,922 --> 01:36:36,390
Smile for your mom. She'll never believe this.
1531
01:36:36,391 --> 01:36:37,892
Shouldn't you be watching the road?
1532
01:36:37,893 --> 01:36:39,394
Dad?
1533
01:36:40,462 --> 01:36:41,830
Dad?
1534
01:36:42,364 --> 01:36:43,464
Oh God!
1535
01:37:34,149 --> 01:37:35,216
Dad?
1536
01:37:52,300 --> 01:37:53,668
Mum.
1537
01:38:04,012 --> 01:38:05,212
Jonesy.
1538
01:38:19,661 --> 01:38:21,762
Smile for your mom. She'll never believe this.
1539
01:38:21,763 --> 01:38:23,730
Shouldn't you be watching the road?
1540
01:38:23,731 --> 01:38:25,132
Dad!
1541
01:38:25,133 --> 01:38:26,267
Dad!
1542
01:38:26,268 --> 01:38:27,468
Oh God!
1543
01:39:08,476 --> 01:39:11,378
The hunt is on for a mysterious black cat,
1544
01:39:11,379 --> 01:39:14,281
which was spotted prowling on a mid-Canterbury farm.
1545
01:39:14,282 --> 01:39:16,617
Locals are convinced, it was a panther.
1546
01:39:16,618 --> 01:39:18,319
Just looked like a big, black cat, really.
1547
01:39:18,320 --> 01:39:19,786
It was yeah, just...
1548
01:39:19,787 --> 01:39:21,688
It's quite long, had a big long tail...
1549
01:39:21,689 --> 01:39:23,324
Like, it had that cat walk, you know.
1550
01:39:23,325 --> 01:39:24,491
Normally, you can tell the difference
1551
01:39:24,492 --> 01:39:26,393
between a dog and a cat.
1552
01:39:26,394 --> 01:39:27,961
But no, definitely, definitely wouldn't have been a dog.
1553
01:39:27,962 --> 01:39:29,496
Cat poo with, um,
1554
01:39:29,497 --> 01:39:32,033
bits of fur or bone in it.
1555
01:39:32,034 --> 01:39:35,169
Um, perhaps remains of prey...
1556
01:39:37,505 --> 01:39:39,641
Oh yeah, I see it, I see it. That's pretty big.
1557
01:39:41,509 --> 01:39:43,677
- That's not acat. - Eh?
1558
01:39:43,678 --> 01:39:45,212
That isn't a cat that'shuge!
102862
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