All language subtitles for 17 There Goes the Bride (2).English

♪ Thank you for being a friend

♪ Traveled down the road
and back again

♪ Your heart is true

♪ You're a pal and a confidante

♪ And if you threw a party

♪ Invited everyone you knew

♪ You would see the biggest
gift would be from me

♪ And the card attached
would say

♪ "Thank you
for being a friend" ♪

(Rose) On the last episode
of "The Golden Girls"...

I'm going out tonight.
With Stan.

No. Yes, Ma. I really am.

I believe you.
I said no.

Well, what's the matter, honey?
Did you have a bad time with Ray?

It wasn't Ray.
His ex-wife, Myra,

ran into the Chowderhead's, where we
eating, and started yelling at me.

I tried to convince her that he's just
a friend, but she wouldn't listen.

For some reason, she won't accept the divorce.
I really feel threatened.

Ma...

Ma, Stan gave me
an engagement ring.

I see. Excuse me.

You marry this man,
and we're no longer family.

You do this, you are out
of my life forever.

Dorothy, I don't know if you recognize
him without his leather apron,

but this is Erroll.
He's our shoe repair guy.

I told him you're dying
to go out with him.

I'm sorry you made
the trip for nothing.

My mother refuses to accept the fact
that I am getting married in three days.

So, uh, what are
you doin' tonight?

Goodbye, Erroll.

Ma! Dorothy, he's
perfect for you.

He knows your shoe size
and he doesn't care.

It's late.
Why didn't somebody wake me?

Because the last time I walked
into your bedroom unannounced,

some guy missed the trampoline
and almost killed me.

That's the kind of thing I don't
want you to say this afternoon

when we're interviewing
new roommates.

Oh, God, it'd be so much easier if
she didn't have to meet you people.

Well, I hope
you find somebody soon.

Actually, you'll
need two new tenants.

I'm not living with you and Stan.
Yes, you are, Ma.

I want you with us, and besides,
you can't afford to live alone.

Blanche will let me keep my room, and
I have an interview at McDonald's.

If I can see over the counter,
I'm their new fry girl.

Rose, what happened?

My brakes went out,
and the car wouldn't stop.

My whole life
flashed before my eyes

and the Nuderflaken twins played a
bigger part than I had realized.

That must've been awful.
Oh, it was.

I don't know
any Nuderflaken twins.

The mind is a powerful thing.

Think of the 99% you don't use.

I stopped at a gas station and they
were nice enough to give me a ride.

Oh, by the way,
Chuck says, "Yo."

Chuck from Arco
or Chuck from Shell?

Shell.

Big Chuck from Shell
or Little Chuck from Shell?

Blanche, I think you're spending too
much time at the full-service island.

Oh, boy, I think Myra
tampered with my brakes.

Ever since I went to dinner with her
ex-husband, she's been out to get me.

(phone ringing)

What if that's Myra? I...

Hello? Hello?

I can hear you breathing, you devil.
Now, why are you doing this?

Here, here, here. Just calm down.
Let me handle this.

Hello, this is Blanche Dever...

Oh, Chuck. Yo!

Oh, Dorothy, push the doorbell.

The door's open.
I know, but push it anyway.

(doorbell rings, dogs barking)

This is really amazing, Rose.
The other day I was thinking:

"Why doesn't our doorbell bark?"

It's probably because
we didn't have a "Bark Bell."

I got it to keep Myra away.

You really think
this is gonna work?

Oh, yeah, look at the box.

See how the burglar's
running away from the house?

And he's saying "Yikes!"

Oh, here, honey. This is for you.
I'm afraid to open it.

What if it's from Myra?
Oh, come on, Rose.

What if it's got a deadly black
spider in it that's gonna leap out

and bite me
the minute I open it?

There you are.

You're wise.
You're just wise.

Good, you're both here. Listen, I
interviewed a very sweet lady on the phone

and she'll be here soon.
So when she gets here, please pretend to be nice.

Well, this is good news.
You've already turned down about 12 people.

They're either too thin
or too pretty or too young.

It's like you only want to live with a
woman who has no sex appeal whatsoever.

You think we're dogs,
don't you?

(doorbell rings, dogs barking)

Now that's too eerie.

The dogs are on my tail again!
Run through the river!

Ma, Ma, we've just put in a new bell.
It's to scare people.

It'll never work.

Hello, are you Truby?

Yes. Blanche?
Yes. Come on in.

Oh, thanks. Thanks.
Meet everybody. Rose.

Oh, hello, Rose.
I'm Dorothy.

That's Sophia.
Sophia.

Won't you sit down?
Oh, yes, thanks.

Well, who's the lucky bride?

You must be referring to the
once and future Mrs. Yutz.

My husband passed
just last summer.

Oh...

Passed what?

A slow-moving
Winnebago, Rose.

I hate when I get stuck
behind one of those.

He's dead, sweetie.

But, hey, I'm used to it.
I put three in the ground.

Well, what can I tell you?
I like 'em old, rich and barely breathing.

Why don't I show you
the rest of the house?

Do you mind if I ask
how old you are?

Oh, 'bout as old as you are.

To lose a husband that young.

OK, places!

♪ Dah-dah-dah!
Duh, duh, duh-dum

♪ Dum, dum duh-dum

Remember, teeny steps.
We're not Godzilla attacking the city.

OK. Dearly beloved,

we're gathered here today to join Dorothy
and Stanley in blah, blah, blah,

followed by rings,
and into the vows.

"Dorothy, I vow to you
that my love is pure."

"I do vow, too."

"I vow that
my love is strong."

"I do vow, too."

"I vow that
I will love no other."

"I do..." My God, Stanley, I
feel like one of the Shirelles.

"And most of all, I vow that my marriage
to my beloved Dorothy will la..."

Stop!

As God as my witness and in front
of this entire congregation,

I call an end to this
wedding here and now.

Sophia, this is
only the rehearsal.

It is?

Pretend you didn't hear that.
I'll see you tomorrow.

(doorbell rings, dogs barking)

We're on the lanai!

Rose, you've got to
disconnect those stupid dogs.

But it's working.
And besides, I've already named 'em.

Thanks for letting me
move in early.

Ah, great day for a wedding.

Say, who tied those dead fish
to the back of the car?

It's a St. Olaf tradition.

You drive until
you can't stand the smell

and then that's where you live.

Crazy or stupid?
We think it's a mix.

Hey, what's this?
I thought I cancelled the flowers.

I mean, it looks nice.

Sophia, you've got to stop this.
You're hurting Dorothy.

Don't you love her?
Of course I love her.

Why are you doing this?

I'm saving her from making
the biggest mistake of her life.

You don't know that.

Sophia, I know you're only
trying to protect her.

But let me tell you
about a lesson I learned

when I was a little girl
in St. Olaf:

If you hold a bird gently,
the bird will stay.

But if you squeeze the bird,
his eyes will bug out...

and Mr. Pet Shop Owner
gets very huffy

and he won't let you
touch the birds anymore.

And the mice?
He won't even let... Rose!

What is eight times six?

OK, now that we
have a few minutes...

I think Rose made
two very good points.

One: Not all psychotics
are dangerous.

And two: Honey,
you have to let go.

Dorothy's capable of making
her own decisions.

Does any of this make
any sense to you, Sophia?

Not completely.

I still think Rose
has the capacity to kill.

Oh, Rose. Sorry, honey.
Pencils down.

I could've used a pencil?

Oh, you just look so beautiful.

You know, this reminds me
of the day I married George.

Oh, it was
an exquisite wedding.

500 people in that
big, old church

and I didn't have
any underwear on.

Why?

I just felt it was
the right thing to do.

My wedding was outdoors.

February 12th.
I'll never forget it.

I wore the most beautiful
white flannel wedding gown.

It even had feet sewn in.

When Stan and I were married,

Stan was crying, I was
crying, Ma was crying.

All for different reasons, but if you
didn't know us, it looked touching.

Oh, Stan and I are
getting married again.

I mean, I've done this before.
Why am I so nervous?

I always get nervous
at weddings.

Weddings and funerals.

I've been to so many of both
I get mixed-up.

Same guest list, same flowers,

handful of rice,
handful of dirt.

The only difference is, after
the funeral it's OK to date.

I'm beginning to like her.

Me too.

You're gonna have
a lot of fun together.

Oh, Dorothy,
nobody can replace you.

Oh, Dorothy,
I can't believe it.

You're gonna walk
down that aisle,

and you won't be home tonight.

Oh, I'm gonna miss you so much.

You know, the only thing that makes
me sad is leaving you and Ma.

Come on. Come on, now.
We got to get you ready.

Do you have somethin' blue?
Do veins count?

Here. I want you to have
this hanky from St. Olaf.

It's got a little blue
embroidery on it.

"Sneeze here."

And you need somethin' new.

I have this other
handkerchief from St. Olaf.

This one's never been used.

Thanks again, Rose.
And somethin' borrowed.

Dorothy, I want you to have
my best bracelet.

Oh, Blanche, that's very sweet.

It's just borrowin' it, you know.
I'll need it back. OK.

You can slip it to me right
after the ceremony. All right.

It's an antique.
Give it to me.

Dorothy, you're tremblin'.
Are you that scared?

Yes. Yes, I'm just as queasy
as I was at my first wedding.

Except that I'm pretty positive this
time it's not morning sickness.

Look, I'm probably just upset
because Ma isn't going to be there.

I just wish she could see Stan
the way I see him now.

If she didn't love you, she
wouldn't be fighting so hard.

I know.

All right, let's see,
you got somethin' borrowed,

somethin' blue, somethin' new.
You need somethin' old.

Old enough?

Oh, Ma. Oh, Ma!

My little girl
is getting married.

Oh, Ma, I just wish
you weren't against this.

Look how pretty you look.
Really?

Yeah. Beautiful.
You remember the last time?

We were up all night
letting out that dress.

Oh, Ma, you know,
Stan has changed.

I trust him now,
for the very first time.

Ma, I need your blessing.

It's always hard to let your
children make their own decisions,

but even though
I worry about you,

you always do the right thing.

You have my blessing.

Oh, Ma, thank you.

You know, Pussycat,

we never had that
mother/daughter talk about sex.

Ma, I've had sex more years
than I care to think about.

I know. I think
you're doing it wrong.

(doorbell rings, dogs barking)

Sounds like
the guests are arriving.

Sophia!

You've got a second chance.
But if you hurt my daughter again,

I'll make you miserable
for the rest of my life.

And if I lay off
meat and dairy,

that could be
as much as five years.

(doorbell rings, dogs barking)

I cannot take this
another minute.

(barking stops) Oh...

Oh, my God, it's Myra!

This is who
you've been scared of?

So, you're Myra.

Watch out, she's dangerous.

Oh, I'm shaking.

You get that too?

What do you want, Myra?

I just came here to tell you I'm not gonna
bother you anymore. You can have Ray.

But you should know you're not the
only young blonde bimbo in his life.

I don't want your husband.
I never did.

I understand that now.

I think I was just afraid of
starting all over at my age.

My daughter's checking me in

to a lovely retirement home
called Shady Pines.

That's great.
Come out to the lanai,

I'll give you
the lowdown on Shady Pines.

You know, who does what
for cigarettes.

Here comes the beautiful bride.

Wow, look at you.
You look perfect.

Thank you. Stanley,
I'm a little scared.

I'm not.
I just feel this is so right.

Stanley, I think we're
gonna make it this time.

Dorothy, I want you to meet
my best man, Marvin Mitchelson.

Oh, ho-ho.
Hello.

Oh, how lovely to meet you.
What an honor.

The honor is mine, Dorothy.
He's a lawyer.

I know who he is.
Oh, Stanley, I'm impressed.

Oh, well, since I made all this money, you
wouldn't believe all the friends I have.

How about this guy?

Dorothy, you're every bit as
lovely as Stan said you were.

Oh, why, thank you.

Stan.

Yeah, right.
Listen, Marv and I were talking

and you know how
persuasive he can be.

He said that I should...
and I thought...

well, he's the lawyer, and
that's what I'm paying him for.

So why don't you?

Why don't I what?

Just sign. It's nothing big.

It's a little pre-nuptial
agreement that says -

what's yours is yours
and what's mine is mine.

You want me to sign
a pre-nuptial agreement?

You want me to sign
a pre-nuptial agreement?

Stanley, whatever happened to
openness and honesty and trust?

Not to mention the 38 years
that I spent as your wife,

your partner, the mother
of your children.

The woman who held down two jobs while you
were at home, staring at a matchbook,

trying to draw "Winky."

I told you
she wouldn't go for it.

I don't want your money, Stan.
Marvin, give me the agreement.

(slap) (Stan) Ouch!

Weddings. Why do I always
get hit at these things?

Get out, Stanley.
Get out before I need a lawyer.

I think you've got a case.

What about our guests?
What about our honeymoon in Aruba?

I'd be too confused.
Would I be using your money or my money?

Well, we could check with Marvin.
I don't think so.

I love you. Are you sure you
know what you're doing?

Yes.

Yes, I think I'm doing
the right thing. Please leave.

I have an announcement to make.

I've decided not to make the
same mistake twice. I'm sorry.

She turned him down.
Remember that.

If it's any consolation,
Dorothy,

I think what there was of
your wedding was very beautiful.

And the album won't be
as bad as you think.

The photographer got some great shots of
your friends leaving with their gifts.

Oh, by the way, I want to thank you
for not saying, "I told you so."

When you're as right as I am,
you don't have to say it.

Well, I finished unpacking.

It's hard to get a life full of fun
into a substitute teacher's closet.

Truby, honey, we have to talk.
I know you signed a lease,

but, well, considering
Dorothy's tragic misfortune.

I know, I know, but could
I just stay a couple of days?

I can't stand another
minute in a hotel.

I know what you mean. If I have to
come up with one more fake name. Mm.

Dorothy, I guess we're
sleeping together tonight.

Ma, I have a better idea.

In my suitcase there are
two tickets to Aruba.

I think Stan owes us
a little vacation, don't you?

Aruba! I love Aruba.

Where's Aruba?

Come on, Ma. Get goin'.
We have a plane to catch.

I've got the very things for you to take with ya.
Here, let me get that.

Ugh! God, this has always
been my worst nightmare.

A wedding falling apart
at the last minute?

No, going on a honeymoon
with my mother.