All language subtitles for 11 Stand By Your Man.English

♪ Thank you for being a friend

♪ Traveled down the road
and back again

♪ Your heart is true

♪ You're a pal and a confidante

♪ And if you threw a party

♪ Invited everyone you knew

♪ You would see

♪ The biggest gift
would be from me

♪ And the card attached
would say

♪ "Thank you
for being a friend" ♪

Thanks for bringing
the boys over, Dreyfus.

So long, kids.

Oh, I just love it when Dreyfus
brings the puppies over to play.

I really think
they like it, too.

That's because you bring
the stick to them.

I know. They get so excited
when I fetch.

You like having them over,
too, don't you, Sofia?

Yeah, I like 'em.

That's because it temporarily shifts the
blame if we find a puddle on the floor.

Once, Nurse Ratched, once.

Well, I do not believe it.

Saturday, and I don't
have a date.

Do you fathom what this means?

The jailbreak is off?

Oh, come on, Blanche,

do what I do
when I don't have a date.

I curl up with a good book,
and I'm satisfied.

It's my fault.
I read to her as a child.

As a matter of fact, I'm going to the
library in a few minutes. Wanna come?

The library? That's a great idea.
I just love libraries.

You do? I've loved books
since I was a child.

Although I certainly did grow
up around some ignorant people.

Do you know what horrible thing
the folks in my neck of the woods

did once when I was a youngun?

Besides using phrases

like "neck of the woods"
and "youngun"?

They burned books.

The townspeople made a big pile
of 'em in front of the library

and they threw a torch on top.

Only Big Daddy was outraged.
He fought his way through that crowd,

clawed his way
to the top of that pile,

grabbed that lit torch and
turned to that crowd and said,

"What are you people doing?
This is lunacy.

Ya start a fire
from the bottom."

So many books.

That's why they call it
a library.

It's from the Latin librarius,
which means "so many books."

I'm sure you'll find
something you want.

I do believe you're right.

Excuse me. My friend here would
like to apply for a library card.

What friend?

Oh, the one who's checking out
everything but the books.

Hi. What you readin'?

Oh, ho-ho. You must be
a passionate man.

Females to Fondle?

Well, it's volume seven
of the encyclopedia.

Oh. Ha-ha-ha.

My mother talked me into getting
her the new Stephen King.

Well, we do have the one
that came out last Tuesday.

As long as it's not about
some little creature

who finds new and inventive ways
of terrorizing a household.

It's for my mother. I don't
wanna give her any ideas.

You're a sports agent? I bet
we know some of the same people.

I was one of the first women ever allowed
in the Miami Dolphins' locker room.

Reporter?

Photographer.
Ha-ha-ha.

I don't understand.
There must be some mistake.

I'm sure my mother's card is current.
See for yourself.

It expired five years ago.

I don't know how that could've happened,
but I'll put the book on my card,

and I want you to know
my card is always current.

I come to the library
at least three times a week,

and my books are always returned
promptly during regular library hours,

rain or shine.

Who are you to judge me?!

Now, let me get this right.

Dinner at your place tonight?

What kind of girl
do you think I am,

and how could you tell so fast?

My address is on my card,

and I have a meeting with a client in
a half-hour, so I better get rolling.

See you at eight.

Oh, by the way, Ma,
when I was at the library,

they said your library card
had expired five years ago.

Really? Where could
I have been?

Oh, yeah, locked in
an old-age home.

Dorothy, I cannot
go through with it.

I'm gonna call Ted and cancel.

Oh, Blanche, you can't.

Well, but it isn't fair.
He should've told me he was disabled.

Yeah, what a great icebreaker.

Well, if I have to go, you know what I could do?
I could take a chaperone.

That way, I'll avoid any awkward situations.
You could be my chaperone.

Oh, please.

No, I'm serious. You're
the perfect third wheel.

I don't mean that
in a negative way.

I just mean you make men
uncomfortable.

It's a gift.
Don't waste it.

As long as you don't mean it
in a negative way.

Of course not.
Growing up in the South -

God, here it comes!

The honeysuckle, mint juleps,
three-legged dogs,

you and Opie and Floyd
and the barbershop...

Blanche, get to the point.

I need a chaperone. Now, do I have to
call in all the favors you owe me?

What favors?

I need a chaperone. Now, do I have to
call in all the favors you owe me?

I don't owe you any favors.

Oh, really? "But, officer, the
little old lady was with me.

She couldn't possibly have put
that banana in your tailpipe."

It'll be an honor to serve.

Guess what. I spoke with
Harry this morning,

and he said we can keep
one of the puppies.

No!

I can't believe you said no.

Come on, Rose.
We've talked about pets.

There's no one home during
the day to take care of it.

I'm home during the day.

No one lucid is home
during the day.

Oh, please. I've already
named him Bingo,

and he really likes me.
He follows me wherever I go.

Rose, the answer is no.

That's not fair.

Last week, you got to keep the
boxboy who followed you home.

There, you see?
You don't need a dog.

If you're lonely,
get yourself a man.

I don't want a man.

I just wanna come home from work and
have someone jump up on my lap,

lick my face and fetch a ball
when I throw it.

You can get a man to do that.

I'll be right back.

Say hello to the newest
member of our family.

Oh, great, we gotta live with a
sad-eyed, hyperactive nuisance

with the intelligence
of a squeaky toy.

And now she's got a dog.

(doorbell rings)

Miss Devereaux?
Yes.

Won't you come in.
Thank you, Andy.

Blanche, come on in.
Sit down.

And who's this?

Who do I look like?
I'm her mother.

Grandmother.

Having a chaperone is an
old Southern tradition.

Grammy here brought me up
since I was a child.

She's the one who taught me how
to put up peach preserves,

make my own clothes.

We was po'.

Blanche, you didn't strike me as
the type who needed a chaperone.

As I said, it was a tradition.

We Southern families
stick together.

We sho' do.

Well, I suppose it's been nice having someone
look after you since you were young.

I had to. When she was 15, I caught
her under a pile of hillbillies.

Picture it - me with a crowbar
prying cousins off left and right.

Oh, goodness, with a view
like that, why...

I bet you look out
the window a lot.

Blanche, you a little nervous?

Nervous? Me?
Wheelchair. Oops...

I mean, no, no, not at all.

Come on, Blanche, most people in
wheelchairs were something else

until that one second before their
accident and their lives change.

Hey, take a look at this guy
in the baseball uniform.

I'm still basically that guy.

Ha-ha. Y-You certainly
do have a nice place here.

I took it because I spend so much
time in Miami, and I do hate hotels.

Oh, yeah, I know.
The way they charge you for the whole night

when you're only there
for a few hours.

My roommate Dorothy
told me that. She's a slut.

I hope you like
champagne and caviar.

I love it.

Andy...

Oh...

Oh...

Hey, look who's not po'.

Mmm, this was just delicious.

I'm glad you feel
more comfortable.

Oh, yes. I don't know why I was
nervous in the first place.

Boy, you should see
this bedroom.

A giant-screen TV,
a big round bed

and lights that go on
when you clap. My hands are raw.

That Southern accent of yours
really comes and goes.

Grits. Alright?

Ha-ha-ha.

That grandmother of yours
is really a sweetheart.

She sure is.

Bless her heart.
How do we get rid of her?

Why, Ted Tanner, are you
making a pass at me?

If I strike out, I strike out, but
at least I want my turn at bat.

I have to admit, I'm somewhat
interested and a little bit curious

and suddenly now quite nervous.

Maybe it's not meant to be with
your grandmother wandering around.

She has a bus pass.

I can have Andy drive her.
Come here.

Well, mercy me.

Looks like my little magnolia
just turned into a big ho'.

Rose, we have to talk.

Look, the food dish is overturned,
there is a hole in the newspaper,

the potted palm in the hallway
has been dug up.

I cannot live like this.

Dorothy, please don't
send me away. I'll try harder.

I'm talking about the dog.

Oh. In that case, I also saw him
slip two 20s out of your purse.

Rose, obviously
the dog has to go.

Well, that's not your decision.
Where's Blanche?

She's not home from her date.

She spent the night at Ted's?

You don't suppose that...
Nah.

Please! Just because
a man's in a wheelchair

doesn't mean he can't
satisfy a woman.

What do you know
about this, Ma?

Picture it...

Sicily, 1914.

A man in a wheelchair
satisfies a woman.

It's a short story,
but I think it makes my point.

Hello, my lovelies.

Sophia, I'm sorry
I tossed ya out last night,

but it was for a good cause.

That's OK, Blanche.

Andy took me home in the limo,
and, boy, did we have fun.

I figured out why they call it
a moon roof.

Blanche, tell us about
your date last night.

All I can tell you is Mr.
Ted Tanner is quite a man.

He suits me to a "g."

You mean to a "t."

No, I don't think so, Rose.

Oh, don't hold dinner for me
tonight. I have a date.

I guess I better go
get out of these clothes.

Again?

Rose, you got a reprieve.

As long as Blanche isn't here, she won't
find out you brought a dog into the house.

What do I care if she finds out?
I'm not afraid.

I'm within my rights.

There is nothing in my lease
that says I can't have a pet.

All right, who or what

ate the heel off
one my new red pumps?

I did.

Guess what.
I don't like to brag

and it took me
practically all morning,

but by reinforcing the command
with love and a doggie treat,

I finally taught Bingo
how to sit.

Sit down, Rose.
Okey-dokey.

I really wish you'd try
to get along with Bingo.

Maybe you don't know the fun
you can have with a pet?

Have you ever actually had one?

Of course I had a pet.

Remember, Ma? I was six years
old, and I wanted a pony?

Not the pony thing again.

She promised me a pony.
She swore I'd get a pony.

She brings me a little paper
bird on a stick from the circus.

The kind you have to twirl around
your head to get them to tweet.

And that was your pet?

They're very clean.

Then she tells me if I'm a
good girl, a really good girl,

God will turn that paper bird
into a real one,

which I believed, because
why would a mother lie?

So every day, I'm being
very good and praying

and looking for
any sign of life

and becoming very attached
to that ridiculous paper bird.

So you can imagine
my heartbreak

when one morning
I find it dead.

How does a paper bird die?

Good question. Someone used it
to restart the pilot light.

Hurry up. Get dressed.
We're gonna be late for temple.

Ma, it's Tuesday,
and we're Catholic.

In that case, bacon and eggs.

Ah, girls, I just don't know
what I am gonna do

about Mr. Ted Tanner.

If the man wants to
colorize movies,

let him colorize movies.

It's show business,
for God's sake.

Blanche, what's wrong?

Ted called from Philadelphia,

says he's flying in,
and he wants to see me.

Well, I'd think you'd be happy.

I am, but it's just that during this
past week with Ted out of town,

everything was on hold.

I didn't have to make any decisions
about where our relationship was going.

I don't know what to do.

I'm here if you wanna
pick my brain.

Rose, I think we should leave
it alone and let it heal.

It was clear from
Ted's tone on the phone

that he wants to escalate
our relationship.

He said he hoped I wasn't
seeing anyone else.

I just don't know.

I think you should go for it.
See it through.

Blanche, so many times
you drop somebody

without ever knowing
what it could turn into.

Sometimes you have to
take a chance.

I don't know if I'm ready
for that kind of risk.

A little risk
only heightens the thrill.

It's like making love
in an airplane lavatory,

where you know it's wrong
because the guy you're with

really should be
at the controls.

Well, it was just an example.

Who are you to judge me?

Well, Sophia, did you
feed Bingo today?

To what?

Ma, you did feed the puppy
today, didn't you?

I think we both had one of those
international coffees -

mocha minty or something -

I don't know. We both
threw up a little.

Honey, did that mean old lady
put you in the garage?

No. The mean young lady did.

Rose, Ted's coming over later,

and I don't want that dog
making a big mess.

He's already been into
my personal things.

Maybe we should get him
some rubber toys.

They do seem to be
his preference.

Look, Rose, I don't think
this is gonna work out.

Now, we are out all day.
Puppies need care

from someone with a knowledge
of loving and nurturing.

And let's face it,
that is not Ma.

Oh, Bingo, much as I love you,
little guy,

we've gotta do
what's best for you.

Wish I knew what to say
to make leaving easier.

You know, I used to have a little
dog just like you back in St. Olaf.

She said St. Olaf, Bingo.

I told you,
that's the attack command.

OK. Thank you.

Oh, great news. There's an
organization called Pets for People.

They match up pets
with old people.

Well, I took Bingo over there
this afternoon,

and already they have
a perfect home for him.

I hate to say it, but I'm
gonna miss the little guy.

Sure was a lot more fun
than that bird on a stick.

Ehh, she's not here.

(doorbell rings)

Oh, get in here, you.
Aw, I've missed you, Ted.

I missed you, too.

I have so much to tell you about,
oh, how good I feel about us

and how much I was worried
that you being in a wheelchair

would be more than
I could handle,

but you know what?
I realized it isn't.

I just really like you.

I am a lucky guy.

Why don't we go someplace
romantic for a few days?

I have to go back home
tomorrow.

Oh. Well, take me with you.
Show me the wonders of Philadelphia.

The Liberty Bell.
The... cream cheese.

I can't take you.
Why not?

I just can't.

Is there someone else?

Oh. There's somebody else.
Oh, a girlfriend.

You got a wife?

I'm sorry.

Sorry?

I do not believe this.

You know, I kept telling myself
to stay open to this,

that you were just such a special guy
who happened to be sitting down.

I was actually starting
to feel love for you, Ted.

I thought you were noble.

Never dawned on me you could
be a jerk in a wheelchair.

Ach... get out.

I don't believe we have to
stop seeing each other.

Blanche Devereaux never goes out
with another woman's husband.

Oh, except for that one time.

Now, that was not my fault.
She was pronounced dead.

Those paramedics never give up.

Don't end this, Blanche.
My wife doesn't understand me.

Well, I do. You're a cheat.
Get out.

Oh, as God is my witness,

I will never pick up
another man.

In a library.

On a Saturday.

Unless he's cute

and drives a nice car.

Amen.