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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,192 --> 00:00:03,039 My new friends! Rory's letting me blow his chanter. 2 00:00:03,201 --> 00:00:05,280 You just need to learn to finger it. 3 00:00:06,912 --> 00:00:09,240 - I will remember everything. - I fancy you. 4 00:00:09,401 --> 00:00:11,800 I wanna have sex with you. I can't do it from out here! 5 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:14,520 Here I come, Cass. I'm coming. 6 00:00:46,215 --> 00:00:48,568 Episode 3 SID 7 00:01:01,241 --> 00:01:03,578 Sid, can you get yourself down here?! 8 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:06,760 Fuck! 9 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,049 Fucking hell. 10 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:12,519 You'd better help me here or...! 11 00:01:12,681 --> 00:01:14,160 All right! 12 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:15,720 All right. 13 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,150 Oh, come on, work, you fucking thing! 14 00:01:31,401 --> 00:01:32,880 Hit the video button. 15 00:01:33,081 --> 00:01:33,920 Sid! 16 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:35,560 We can talk. 17 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:42,080 Come on, you ditzy moo, it's the big fucking red button marked "video". 18 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:45,480 Sid, I need your help! 19 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:49,880 - For Christ's sake! - Sidney! 20 00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:52,799 Big fucking red button! 21 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:56,409 There you are! 22 00:01:57,840 --> 00:01:59,430 Hey, sexy! 23 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:01,120 Oh, Jesus Christ! 24 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:03,240 Cass. 25 00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:05,685 Cass? 26 00:02:06,241 --> 00:02:07,800 What the fuck is a ratchet lock? 27 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:11,440 Yes, you do, turn on your sodding speakers! Cass. 28 00:02:12,024 --> 00:02:13,272 Sid, what are you...?! 29 00:02:13,392 --> 00:02:14,600 Is it not working? 30 00:02:15,228 --> 00:02:16,333 No. 31 00:02:17,801 --> 00:02:20,320 Sid. For Christ's sake. You made me 32 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,720 buy that frigging Dyson and I can't make the pissing thing... 33 00:02:24,773 --> 00:02:26,334 Oh, that's... 34 00:02:29,806 --> 00:02:31,265 That's... 35 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,440 - ... my girlfriend. - Right. 36 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,669 So, she's in Scotland and... 37 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,520 She doesn't know I can see her. 38 00:02:41,681 --> 00:02:42,681 Right. 39 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:44,240 Because... 40 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,814 Oh, fuck, no! 41 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,319 Fuck! 42 00:02:54,201 --> 00:02:55,040 Fuck! 43 00:03:02,386 --> 00:03:04,904 - What do you think? - Sex on a stick, so you are. 44 00:03:05,024 --> 00:03:06,296 Thanks, Lachlan. 45 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,959 But the pink one ain't bad either. Eh, no, Rory? 46 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:12,426 Aye. He's a lucky, lucky gadge, this Sidney. 47 00:03:12,546 --> 00:03:15,400 He's lovely! I'm going to surprise him. 48 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:17,199 Look at this. 49 00:03:22,110 --> 00:03:23,766 Help ma boab! Nice. 50 00:03:23,886 --> 00:03:25,039 Fucking A. 51 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:26,434 You think he'll like it? 52 00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:28,720 Jings, you're almost turning me straight here! 53 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:31,471 Love is in the air! Eh, no, Rory? 54 00:03:31,591 --> 00:03:33,839 I'm feelin' it, man. I'm feelin' it. 55 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:41,800 It's one of those things, shit happens. 56 00:03:41,961 --> 00:03:43,680 Is that the best you've got, Dad? 57 00:03:44,085 --> 00:03:46,559 - You always get my best, son. - Because she's... 58 00:03:47,605 --> 00:03:51,279 Well, she says she loves me, then she waltzes off to Elgin, 59 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,560 now she's fucking the Scottish rugby team! 60 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:55,319 No. She's only fucking one of them. 61 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:59,240 Stop trying to console me. I'm inconsolable, OK? 62 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,800 OK, OK! It's just... 63 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:03,920 It's just women, you know? 64 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:05,883 Hang on, are we comparing women here? 65 00:04:06,003 --> 00:04:07,231 I don't know. 66 00:04:07,351 --> 00:04:10,320 Mum left you because you're a total, world championship cretin. 67 00:04:10,481 --> 00:04:11,799 I'm not sure that that's... 68 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,839 Mine's done this cos I'm a gullible soft touch who's 69 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:17,400 far, far, far too fucking nice for his own good. 70 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,120 There's no comparison, OK? 71 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,120 But you've worked it out then. 72 00:04:23,281 --> 00:04:24,680 Didn't you? 73 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:26,320 What is this thing?! 74 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:34,399 Attach the guide nozzle to the flange circulator? What the fuck?! 75 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:37,360 Shit, shit, shit, shit! 76 00:04:37,521 --> 00:04:38,440 Dad... 77 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:41,400 Your mother'll be here in a minute. We've gotta get this... 78 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,320 We've gotta clear it up. And maybe... 79 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:46,160 She's not coming back because you tidied the house, Dad. 80 00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:49,919 Yeah? Yeah? Oh, please. Something work. 81 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:51,800 What time's your Dad arriving? 82 00:04:51,961 --> 00:04:52,961 12. 83 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:55,319 We can do it if we concentrate. 84 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:56,679 I thought he hated you. 85 00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:58,800 Who said my dad hates me? 86 00:04:59,476 --> 00:05:01,640 Well, you did, didn't you? 87 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,698 He's not well. We've got a few issues. 88 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:07,033 Fuck! 89 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,599 We should have started earlier! 90 00:05:10,443 --> 00:05:12,040 We should have started earlier! 91 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,079 Anwar. 92 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:18,560 How you doing, man? 93 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:20,640 I'm not too good, as it goes, actually. 94 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:24,199 Right. I just thought I'd pop round, wonder if you're busy. 95 00:05:24,835 --> 00:05:26,359 In the bedroom department. 96 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,600 Your bedroom, is it currently in use? 97 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:33,279 My mum's coming to pretend to still be married to my dad for my grandad. 98 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:34,960 But this won't take long. 99 00:05:36,108 --> 00:05:37,231 What? 100 00:05:40,586 --> 00:05:41,599 This is Sketch. 101 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:45,000 Yeah, I know who she is. She stalked Maxxie, she got our drama teacher 102 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:48,200 wrongly fired for sexual abuse and she tried to poison Michelle. 103 00:05:48,361 --> 00:05:49,361 Yes. 104 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:52,120 Sketch! 105 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:53,719 I've come to my senses. 106 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:56,880 She's sorry. 107 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,080 Boy, she's sorry. 108 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,799 Thing is, Sid, 109 00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:04,200 sex hasn't been invented yet round at my place. 110 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:07,471 Tricky with 2,000 years of religious tradition. 111 00:06:07,591 --> 00:06:10,520 So me and Sketch were wondering if we could... 112 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,680 Come on. My whole family's gonna be here in an hour. 113 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,960 - It won't take long. - It never takes long. 114 00:06:17,121 --> 00:06:19,159 You don't mind do you, Sidney? 115 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,280 I do, actually, you know I... 116 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,329 Oh, whatever. 117 00:06:38,672 --> 00:06:40,080 This is gut, ja? 118 00:06:40,420 --> 00:06:43,780 Oh, yes, Manfred. It's lovely, but I've got to go. 119 00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:45,620 Thanks for the lift. 120 00:06:45,740 --> 00:06:46,999 But you will hurry, 121 00:06:47,161 --> 00:06:50,440 and tonight we will have much more great sex, ja? 122 00:06:50,740 --> 00:06:51,840 Ja. 123 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,164 I mean, yes, yes. 124 00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:57,360 Yikes! 125 00:06:57,660 --> 00:06:59,260 You are liking it like that, huh? 126 00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:02,040 Oh, fucking hell. 127 00:07:04,380 --> 00:07:08,303 I've got to go. I've really, really got to go. 128 00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:12,280 Jesus wept. Does she have to do that? 129 00:07:13,823 --> 00:07:17,020 I mean, what kind of a fucked-up relationship is it 130 00:07:17,140 --> 00:07:19,700 where you have to jump each other every time you say goodbye? 131 00:07:20,221 --> 00:07:21,518 A good one? 132 00:07:25,408 --> 00:07:26,520 Jesus... 133 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,200 Jesus, Je... Bollocks! 134 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,452 - Hi, Sid. - Hi, Mum. 135 00:07:58,465 --> 00:08:00,340 - Mark. - Liz. 136 00:08:03,180 --> 00:08:05,380 You all right, Sid? 137 00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:06,849 Yeah, I'm fine. 138 00:08:07,740 --> 00:08:09,380 You smell of something. 139 00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:13,060 It's just Opium. 140 00:08:13,180 --> 00:08:14,660 You know, perfume. 141 00:08:14,780 --> 00:08:15,840 You hate perfume. 142 00:08:16,140 --> 00:08:17,920 Manfred likes it. 143 00:08:18,260 --> 00:08:20,790 I'm sure Manfred fucking loves it. 144 00:08:20,910 --> 00:08:23,780 I'm sure Manfred loves rolling into Belgium, 145 00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:26,640 rounding up the Jews and sending them to Poland, 146 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:28,980 but hey, that's Blitzkrieg for you, 147 00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:32,240 and Manfred's gotta have his Opium-scented Lebensraum. Right? 148 00:08:32,540 --> 00:08:35,320 - He can't help being German. - Who can? 149 00:08:36,234 --> 00:08:38,520 Right, perhaps I should go home. 150 00:08:38,820 --> 00:08:40,820 You should come home. 151 00:08:40,940 --> 00:08:43,000 This is gonna be so silly. 152 00:08:43,340 --> 00:08:47,060 Why on earth did you tell your father that we were together again? 153 00:08:47,180 --> 00:08:50,163 After that night, you know, when you stayed... 154 00:08:52,821 --> 00:08:53,920 But that was just... 155 00:08:54,260 --> 00:08:56,600 I mean, you stayed and we... I thought... 156 00:08:56,900 --> 00:08:58,320 You... 157 00:08:58,620 --> 00:08:59,680 You stayed? 158 00:09:00,924 --> 00:09:03,032 It was just one time. 159 00:09:05,060 --> 00:09:07,353 You know how the old bastard loves you. 160 00:09:07,473 --> 00:09:10,360 I never got round to telling him you were just fucking with my head. 161 00:09:10,660 --> 00:09:12,360 Right, that's it. I'm going. 162 00:09:12,660 --> 00:09:13,660 - No! - No! 163 00:09:14,900 --> 00:09:16,028 Liz... 164 00:09:22,140 --> 00:09:24,920 ... I can't make the sodding Hoover work. 165 00:09:28,980 --> 00:09:30,680 For Christ sakes. 166 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:44,560 Sid, load the dishwasher. Have you any cigarettes? 167 00:09:44,860 --> 00:09:46,180 Oh, yeah. 168 00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:51,360 Thanks. 169 00:10:18,684 --> 00:10:20,216 Oh, God. 170 00:10:20,860 --> 00:10:24,020 Godfather. The Godfather Part Two. 171 00:10:26,700 --> 00:10:28,180 Apocalypse Now. 172 00:10:28,300 --> 00:10:30,520 The Conversation... 173 00:10:30,820 --> 00:10:31,980 It's not working. 174 00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:34,429 You gotta get some staying power. 175 00:10:35,139 --> 00:10:38,013 Don't you dare, boyo. I am far, far from satisfied. 176 00:10:38,133 --> 00:10:40,230 OK. Oh... shit. 177 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:44,220 Oh, fucking hell. 178 00:10:51,180 --> 00:10:53,840 - Hello, Mrs Jenkins. - Hello, Anwar. 179 00:10:57,620 --> 00:10:59,020 This is Sketch. 180 00:11:00,015 --> 00:11:01,400 Nice to meet you. 181 00:11:02,586 --> 00:11:04,580 Sid didn't mention you were back. 182 00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:06,900 Yes, I'm not staying. 183 00:11:07,020 --> 00:11:10,060 Mum, you don't need to... I can tidy my own... 184 00:11:10,180 --> 00:11:11,809 Oh... shit! 185 00:11:13,305 --> 00:11:17,780 Just having a lovely chat with Anwar and his, um, new friend. 186 00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:21,080 How's your mum, Anwar? I must give her a ring some time. 187 00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:23,920 Yeah, yeah, she's fine, 188 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:25,040 she's fine. 189 00:11:25,340 --> 00:11:26,960 She's fine, yeah, but, you know... 190 00:11:27,673 --> 00:11:28,913 Muslim. 191 00:11:29,180 --> 00:11:31,480 She's been a bit busy Muslim... 192 00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:36,980 She doesn't know I have sex. 193 00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:38,100 Really? 194 00:11:38,620 --> 00:11:39,620 Well... 195 00:11:40,540 --> 00:11:41,589 Anyway... 196 00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,840 Make sure you come again soon, Anwar. 197 00:11:48,479 --> 00:11:50,280 Yeah, cheers. 198 00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:55,280 Chance would be a fine thing. 199 00:12:07,860 --> 00:12:09,860 Isn't this nice? 200 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:11,160 Yeah. 201 00:12:11,340 --> 00:12:12,340 Nice. 202 00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:17,749 How's Cassie? 203 00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,200 Still missing you, I bet. 204 00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:21,749 Actually, no. 205 00:12:22,580 --> 00:12:24,360 I don't think she's missing me at all. 206 00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:26,140 Really? How's that? 207 00:12:26,260 --> 00:12:29,700 Oh, the usual. Woman dumps him for no good reason 208 00:12:29,820 --> 00:12:32,100 without even explaining herself, 209 00:12:32,220 --> 00:12:35,060 falls into bed with some random idiot with a big cock, 210 00:12:35,180 --> 00:12:37,340 you know the kind of thing. 211 00:12:38,993 --> 00:12:42,040 That's rotten, Sid. I'm sorry. 212 00:12:42,340 --> 00:12:44,000 I haven't been keeping up properly. 213 00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:45,300 No. 214 00:12:46,380 --> 00:12:49,760 I could explain, but it wouldn't make any difference. 215 00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:51,080 To me it would. 216 00:12:51,420 --> 00:12:53,860 You heard him. It would help if you explained. 217 00:12:53,980 --> 00:12:56,720 I mean, we're all here. Let's explain. 218 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,340 Bloody hell. He's early! 219 00:13:03,460 --> 00:13:05,140 Jesus Christ! 220 00:13:05,260 --> 00:13:06,700 Later, OK? 221 00:13:13,135 --> 00:13:14,514 Liza! 222 00:13:14,940 --> 00:13:16,460 How are you, Alex? 223 00:13:16,580 --> 00:13:19,080 Och, embracing adversity as ever, my dear. 224 00:13:19,420 --> 00:13:22,640 But borne aloft by the sight of you, lassie. 225 00:13:22,801 --> 00:13:23,809 Hi, Dad. 226 00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:25,725 You're going grey - what have ye been doing? 227 00:13:25,845 --> 00:13:27,751 - Nothing. - Where's my drink? 228 00:13:27,871 --> 00:13:29,580 Sandy! What a nice surprise. 229 00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:31,700 Aye, I ken it is, eh, no? 230 00:13:34,340 --> 00:13:35,832 You've brought the boys. 231 00:13:35,952 --> 00:13:38,618 They've been fair jumpin' wi' excitement, ken, aye? 232 00:13:38,738 --> 00:13:41,080 Right... Hello, Lex. 233 00:13:41,967 --> 00:13:43,446 Hallo, Ally. 234 00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:09,420 It's nice. 235 00:14:11,540 --> 00:14:12,920 How's the work? 236 00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:14,269 It's fine. 237 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:15,880 Interesting? 238 00:14:16,738 --> 00:14:18,020 Sometimes. 239 00:14:19,656 --> 00:14:21,611 What is it you do? 240 00:14:22,260 --> 00:14:24,880 Strategic analyst, Dad. OK? 241 00:14:25,180 --> 00:14:26,180 Aye. 242 00:14:27,740 --> 00:14:30,380 Well... done any good, um... 243 00:14:31,340 --> 00:14:33,240 analysing recently? 244 00:14:34,018 --> 00:14:35,389 I do my best. 245 00:14:35,509 --> 00:14:38,089 Well... as long as you've done your best. 246 00:14:38,209 --> 00:14:40,360 Aye, that's the main thing, Da. 247 00:14:40,660 --> 00:14:42,680 That's the main thing. 248 00:14:47,140 --> 00:14:48,360 Who's that? 249 00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:50,640 Nobody. 250 00:14:52,580 --> 00:14:54,000 And... Sidney... 251 00:14:55,580 --> 00:14:58,940 - You still in the school, boy? - Oh, A-levels, you know? 252 00:14:59,060 --> 00:15:03,120 A-levels? I hear they make them nice and easy for you down here. 253 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:05,320 - What? - Subjects? 254 00:15:05,620 --> 00:15:08,160 Um, English, drama and psychology. 255 00:15:08,460 --> 00:15:11,260 Psychology? It's piss easy. 256 00:15:11,380 --> 00:15:13,012 No need o' psychology, 257 00:15:13,132 --> 00:15:15,640 staring doon the sights o' a Stinger missile, ken, aye? 258 00:15:17,420 --> 00:15:19,319 Maybe Sidney is gonna be a... 259 00:15:20,140 --> 00:15:23,011 strategic analyst like his father. 260 00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:25,423 I might, if my grades are good enough. 261 00:15:25,543 --> 00:15:26,719 Never rated grades. 262 00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:30,119 Few years in the Paratroopers like Sandy here, 263 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,320 that's wisdom. 264 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,160 Aye. You learn early. You learn hard. 265 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,442 So now he's taking over the business. 266 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,029 He's what? 267 00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:42,549 I'm standing aside... 268 00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:45,400 because of my illness. 269 00:15:45,700 --> 00:15:48,982 The doctors are shaking their heads. Nae idea. 270 00:15:49,102 --> 00:15:50,900 Pure phenomenal, Da. 271 00:15:51,020 --> 00:15:52,919 It's will. Iron will! 272 00:15:53,180 --> 00:15:55,519 Guts. Determination. 273 00:15:55,780 --> 00:15:57,640 Never say die, and here I have it. 274 00:15:59,020 --> 00:16:00,069 My legacy. 275 00:16:00,780 --> 00:16:01,799 Sandy? 276 00:16:02,490 --> 00:16:05,591 Sandy's gonna run 12 dry-cleaning shops? 277 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:08,320 17. 278 00:16:09,060 --> 00:16:12,500 Bathgate is opening up. City of the future. 279 00:16:13,404 --> 00:16:15,283 I'm leaving the business in safe hands. 280 00:16:15,403 --> 00:16:17,479 Is that what you've come to tell me? 281 00:16:17,599 --> 00:16:20,520 Och, no. Wouldnae have bothered coming all that way for... 282 00:16:20,820 --> 00:16:23,040 No, I'm buying a wee holiday place 283 00:16:23,340 --> 00:16:27,199 in Devon for Sandy and the weans here. 284 00:16:27,460 --> 00:16:28,759 Nothing too fancy. 285 00:16:29,020 --> 00:16:30,840 1.7 million, ken, aye. 286 00:16:31,140 --> 00:16:35,479 Small change. Ye cannae put too high a price on loyalty, eh, no Liza? 287 00:16:36,618 --> 00:16:39,379 No, Alex. But my names's not... 288 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,633 Liza, you're a saint. 289 00:16:42,230 --> 00:16:44,680 A good cook is a saint. 290 00:16:45,513 --> 00:16:48,160 And she's a saint for taking pity on you. 291 00:16:51,514 --> 00:16:53,411 She took you back. 292 00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:58,500 Lucky. 293 00:17:00,274 --> 00:17:01,489 So... 294 00:17:04,834 --> 00:17:06,320 Do you wanna go on the swing? 295 00:17:08,580 --> 00:17:09,640 Slide? 296 00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:12,960 Spliff? 297 00:17:13,260 --> 00:17:16,559 No? Say anything you like doing. Anything at all. 298 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:17,560 Fitba. 299 00:17:18,780 --> 00:17:19,799 You what? 300 00:17:20,060 --> 00:17:21,060 Fitba. 301 00:17:21,900 --> 00:17:22,880 Oh! 302 00:17:24,660 --> 00:17:26,420 Think I've got one... 303 00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:27,889 Used to... A-ha! 304 00:17:29,140 --> 00:17:30,400 Football! 305 00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:33,839 Not too good at this. 306 00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:35,959 How about I go in goal and...? 307 00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:37,568 Square go! 308 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,185 - Ya bastard! - Stick the heid on him! 309 00:17:53,020 --> 00:17:54,224 Hold still. 310 00:17:55,828 --> 00:17:58,679 Will I tell him what we used to do to bullies in the desert, pal? 311 00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:00,960 - But... I didn't. - I'm sure it was an accident. 312 00:18:01,260 --> 00:18:03,878 We used to tie them to the bonnet o' the Saracen, 313 00:18:03,998 --> 00:18:07,120 roast their bollocks for a couple o' hours, ken, aye. 314 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:10,159 You'll never dance the fucking samba again. 315 00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:11,519 That's enough. 316 00:18:12,677 --> 00:18:13,928 Aye, Da. 317 00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:17,600 Sidney's sorry. Aren't ye, son? 318 00:18:26,140 --> 00:18:27,119 Yes. 319 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,200 There you go. 320 00:18:29,580 --> 00:18:30,760 Sorted like men. 321 00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:34,419 Now, if you'll just tell us where we're sleeping, hen. 322 00:18:34,748 --> 00:18:36,519 - Wait a minute! - You're staying? 323 00:18:36,780 --> 00:18:39,140 Couple of days. Three, tops. 324 00:18:39,260 --> 00:18:40,720 Don't want to put you out. 325 00:18:51,420 --> 00:18:54,260 I am not sleeping with you just cos your fucking dad's here! 326 00:18:54,380 --> 00:18:56,600 I had no idea they were staying. 327 00:18:56,900 --> 00:18:59,020 Why don't you stand up to him? Tell him. 328 00:18:59,140 --> 00:19:01,039 I can't. He's dying for Christ's sake! 329 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,480 Oh! I'm going home. 330 00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:04,799 Tell me there's not a part of you that wants to stay. 331 00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:06,060 Mark... 332 00:19:07,905 --> 00:19:09,399 You're not good for me. 333 00:19:09,660 --> 00:19:12,020 Tell me you don't love me. 334 00:19:12,140 --> 00:19:14,679 Go on. Tell him you don't love him. 335 00:19:15,911 --> 00:19:18,347 Then you can fucking stop this. OK? 336 00:19:22,860 --> 00:19:24,340 Answer it. 337 00:19:30,580 --> 00:19:31,580 Hello. 338 00:19:32,420 --> 00:19:34,460 No, I'm still here. 339 00:19:34,580 --> 00:19:37,400 Yes, well, it's a bit difficult. 340 00:19:37,700 --> 00:19:41,436 No, I'm sorry, Manfred. I meant to text but... Don't! 341 00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:43,639 No. No, of course not. 342 00:19:45,197 --> 00:19:46,320 Oh, Manfred. 343 00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:50,540 You're not coming round! 344 00:19:50,660 --> 00:19:51,660 No. No! 345 00:19:53,940 --> 00:19:56,200 - Mark! Mark! - Yes, Dad. 346 00:19:58,260 --> 00:20:00,000 I cannae get hot water. 347 00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,040 What? You have to jiggle the thing. 348 00:20:02,380 --> 00:20:04,479 Then fix it, man. What's wrong with you? 349 00:20:04,740 --> 00:20:07,220 - I haven't had the time. - Time? 350 00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:08,740 Time?! 351 00:20:08,860 --> 00:20:12,679 How long does it take to strip down a shower unit? Minutes! 352 00:20:12,940 --> 00:20:13,940 Da! Da! 353 00:20:15,180 --> 00:20:16,180 It's OK. 354 00:20:16,860 --> 00:20:20,580 Sorted. Some eejit forced the pressure regulator. 355 00:20:21,609 --> 00:20:22,560 Aye... 356 00:20:25,420 --> 00:20:26,420 So... 357 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:29,560 I'm going. 358 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,340 I'm going to bed. 359 00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:36,980 Goodnight. 360 00:20:42,780 --> 00:20:45,320 Handsome young lassie, always said that. 361 00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:47,369 Och, aye. She's steamy. 362 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,960 I hope I can sleep tonight in that bed. 363 00:20:53,940 --> 00:20:55,900 Man in my condition. 364 00:21:02,020 --> 00:21:03,420 Night, bro. 365 00:21:08,980 --> 00:21:12,000 Alex, Sandy, Lex, Ally. 366 00:21:12,380 --> 00:21:14,020 Kinda weird. 367 00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:16,780 They're all called Alexander. 368 00:21:17,378 --> 00:21:18,405 Yup. 369 00:21:20,648 --> 00:21:23,055 - Except you. - Except me. 370 00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:27,820 Why don't you stand up to him? 371 00:21:29,860 --> 00:21:31,620 Dad's always been ill. 372 00:21:32,490 --> 00:21:35,437 - What with? - It's, er... 373 00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:40,000 I don't actually know. 374 00:21:41,597 --> 00:21:45,580 I think every time I see him, it's gonna be the last time and... 375 00:21:45,700 --> 00:21:47,360 You can't take chances with that. 376 00:21:47,660 --> 00:21:50,120 He calls you stupid and useless and crap. 377 00:21:52,380 --> 00:21:54,607 My father's disappointed. 378 00:21:54,727 --> 00:21:56,620 They often are. 379 00:21:56,740 --> 00:21:59,160 Is that how you see me? 380 00:22:02,500 --> 00:22:03,439 Never. 381 00:22:03,700 --> 00:22:05,702 I'm useless and crap. 382 00:22:05,822 --> 00:22:08,705 I fuck everything up and it drives you mad. 383 00:22:08,825 --> 00:22:10,712 You hear me, Sid? 384 00:22:11,500 --> 00:22:12,520 Never. 385 00:22:14,957 --> 00:22:16,760 Make her stay. 386 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:47,520 Mark. 387 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:50,160 Get into bed. 388 00:23:04,002 --> 00:23:06,975 I'll probably never change that much. 389 00:23:07,978 --> 00:23:09,911 Don't talk. 390 00:23:11,036 --> 00:23:13,061 Just do something. 391 00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:16,760 I want you to do some... 392 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,810 Oh, ja... ist gut...! 393 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,000 What?! 394 00:23:33,871 --> 00:23:35,000 Nothing. 395 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:47,960 Sid? 396 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:49,280 Sid, you there? 397 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:51,520 I found the button. 398 00:23:57,903 --> 00:23:59,052 Sid? 399 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:01,732 I can see you! 400 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:04,560 That's so cool. 401 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:08,440 I could fucking see everything you were doing. 402 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:09,880 What? 403 00:24:12,885 --> 00:24:15,600 Oh, God! No, that was... 404 00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,240 - I'm such a tit. - Sid? 405 00:24:19,462 --> 00:24:20,720 I just thought... 406 00:24:21,774 --> 00:24:23,659 I'm so stupid. 407 00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:27,994 Nothing ever works out, does it? Nobody ever waits. 408 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:31,720 Nobody ever loves anyone properly, do they? 409 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,880 - You've got it wrong, Sid. - Just leave me alone. 410 00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,307 - You rang me! - All right. 411 00:24:40,905 --> 00:24:42,328 Don't you trust me, Sid? 412 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:43,609 No. 413 00:24:44,540 --> 00:24:46,680 I don't trust you. 414 00:24:48,006 --> 00:24:50,720 You're up there fucking Oor Fucking Wullie or 415 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:52,360 whoever the fuck it is and... 416 00:24:53,016 --> 00:24:54,576 I can't talk to you. 417 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:05,189 Fuck! 418 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:16,480 Shit! 419 00:25:32,988 --> 00:25:34,622 Gott in Himmel! 420 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,880 Where is she? Lizzie! Com raus! 421 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:40,320 Hang on! 422 00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,320 Lizzie! Liebchen! 423 00:25:44,289 --> 00:25:45,839 You must come with me! 424 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:47,960 No, Manfred, please! 425 00:25:48,515 --> 00:25:50,000 Who the fuck's this? 426 00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:52,560 Manfred. He's a... friend. 427 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:53,920 Leave it to me! 428 00:25:56,126 --> 00:25:58,320 Screw you, man! I vant my chick! 429 00:25:58,480 --> 00:25:59,840 What... Who? 430 00:26:05,806 --> 00:26:06,880 Square go. 431 00:26:11,065 --> 00:26:12,360 Get out! 432 00:26:13,101 --> 00:26:16,320 I vant my baby! And vat I vant, 433 00:26:16,545 --> 00:26:17,720 I take! 434 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:18,880 Stop! 435 00:26:21,370 --> 00:26:23,144 But, he is ein plinker! 436 00:26:23,575 --> 00:26:26,114 You are saying, he is ein plinker! 437 00:26:26,234 --> 00:26:27,240 Plonker. 438 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,200 - Right... - I was angry. 439 00:26:29,360 --> 00:26:30,774 It's fine. 440 00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:34,760 Manfred, you're bleeding. I'm going to take you to hospital. 441 00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,476 I feel nothing! Nothing... 442 00:26:43,221 --> 00:26:44,799 I'll call you in a couple of days. 443 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:46,809 I need time to think. 444 00:26:47,342 --> 00:26:48,427 OK? 445 00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:53,349 Manfred? Manfred? 446 00:26:54,177 --> 00:26:55,180 Raus! 447 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,200 We're going to hospital. 448 00:27:13,505 --> 00:27:15,640 Cannae hold on to your woman, eh? 449 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:23,048 Fuck off out of my house, you miserable Scottish cunt. 450 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:28,783 You... You, you... what?! 451 00:27:29,695 --> 00:27:32,165 I know what your game is, Alex. 452 00:27:32,285 --> 00:27:36,240 It's a fucking good yin. But I'm not buying it. You got me? 453 00:27:37,481 --> 00:27:38,481 Dad? 454 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:40,469 It's OK, Sid. 455 00:27:40,766 --> 00:27:42,720 They're all leaving! 456 00:27:44,059 --> 00:27:45,820 Right now! 457 00:28:03,419 --> 00:28:04,419 OK? 458 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:06,866 Yup. 459 00:28:18,112 --> 00:28:20,160 I think I dumped Cassie. 460 00:28:21,213 --> 00:28:24,003 She's with some guy. 461 00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:28,360 They're always with some guy. 462 00:28:28,802 --> 00:28:30,680 If they're special, 463 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:33,440 you just have to make sure that that guy... 464 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:35,153 is you. 465 00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:37,130 All right? 466 00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:50,040 Thanks, Dad. 467 00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:54,320 No problem, son. 468 00:30:05,676 --> 00:30:07,974 Little Scottish bastards. 469 00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:11,445 Hey, Cassie. 470 00:30:11,974 --> 00:30:14,448 Everything was a bit weird. 471 00:30:14,568 --> 00:30:17,160 Look, I'm sorry about last night. 472 00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:20,144 Er, we need to talk now. 473 00:30:21,093 --> 00:30:22,661 Everything's... 474 00:30:28,444 --> 00:30:31,120 Jesus, the fucking signal in this house! 475 00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:37,320 Sorry. The user has blocked your call. 476 00:30:38,288 --> 00:30:39,437 Idiot! 477 00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:42,154 Ah, fuck! 478 00:31:06,929 --> 00:31:07,929 Dad? 479 00:31:33,504 --> 00:31:34,707 Dad? 480 00:32:47,746 --> 00:32:50,000 You sure you're OK with that, Tony? 481 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:51,880 It's fine. Give me a sec. 482 00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:55,240 Maybe you should take it easy, mate. 483 00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:02,880 Jesus, Chris, maybe you should take it easy! 484 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:05,600 Nah. Angie's coming back today. I'm a bit... 485 00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:07,040 She's been in touch? 486 00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:09,039 Not as such. But I know she still loves me. 487 00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:12,520 Chris. She's your psychology teacher. It was just a fling. 488 00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:15,840 No, it wasn't. OK? She needed her space. 489 00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:19,480 Right, and now I really need her naked, buffed, gagging and slippy 490 00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:21,440 in my bed, because... 491 00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:24,371 You know, four months without sex, that ain't funny. 492 00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:26,799 You probably wouldn't understand that, Jal. 493 00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:31,115 You don't have sex at all, do you? You have clarinet lessons. 494 00:33:31,235 --> 00:33:33,240 I do... I mean, I have had... 495 00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:35,960 Look, we're not counting fapping here, Jal, right, 496 00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:38,839 cos if we were, I'd have had sex 14 times in two days. 497 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,560 I haven't had sex for... 498 00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:43,120 A long time. 499 00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:44,304 Right. 500 00:33:44,424 --> 00:33:47,240 OK, in summary then, we all need some pussy action. 501 00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:50,720 And I shall be getting mine tonight with the lovely Angela. 502 00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:53,850 Hey, you all right Sid? 503 00:33:59,077 --> 00:34:01,479 - You two still not talking? - He stopped coming round. 504 00:34:02,100 --> 00:34:05,719 Tony, he sat with you for months. He read fucking Anna Karenina to you. 505 00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:08,760 I don't remember. He must have stopped. 506 00:34:09,300 --> 00:34:10,400 Mate. 507 00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,200 Hey, Sid. Do your coursework? 508 00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:26,972 No... 509 00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:38,280 Morning! All right. 510 00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:40,720 Yes, quickly please. 511 00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:44,120 First of all, I've had a word with the Imam at Redcliffe Mosque 512 00:34:44,240 --> 00:34:47,320 about the school musical last month. 513 00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:50,480 I explained that it was all meant to be ironic 514 00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:52,437 and he was very understanding. 515 00:34:52,557 --> 00:34:55,624 He's not exactly sure who imposed the fatwa, 516 00:34:55,744 --> 00:34:57,080 but it wasn't him. 517 00:34:57,818 --> 00:35:00,080 Probably somebody in Iran. 518 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,040 So - what a relief. 519 00:35:02,939 --> 00:35:05,332 And secondly, I have to inform you 520 00:35:05,452 --> 00:35:07,600 that Angela will not be returning 521 00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:09,600 to teach psychology at the college. 522 00:35:09,720 --> 00:35:12,040 She's sent me this message. 523 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:15,440 "Dear everyone. I'll never forget you and hope 524 00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:19,560 "you all do great in the A2s." Well, that's nice, isn't it? 525 00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:22,381 And I don't quite understand this. 526 00:35:22,501 --> 00:35:25,521 "Tell Monkeyman I'll miss the spaghetti." 527 00:35:25,825 --> 00:35:26,720 Anyone? 528 00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:31,360 In the meantime, I'll be doing my best. 529 00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:35,120 Biology, psychology, is there really any difference? 530 00:35:35,240 --> 00:35:38,680 So folders open, and let's make a start on... 531 00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:43,040 Loss! Oh, fantastic! 532 00:35:43,516 --> 00:35:45,733 So what do we all know about loss? 533 00:36:11,089 --> 00:36:12,220 Sid? 534 00:36:13,186 --> 00:36:15,920 I didn't know what to do. So I came to college. 535 00:36:17,367 --> 00:36:18,840 What's happened? 536 00:36:25,585 --> 00:36:29,086 Everyone says you looked after me when I was... iconic. 537 00:36:31,502 --> 00:36:32,506 Intimate. 538 00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:35,331 Fuck! Fuck! 539 00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:39,680 Ill... 540 00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:41,680 I mean, ill. 541 00:36:44,963 --> 00:36:46,560 I just can't remember you. 542 00:36:47,953 --> 00:36:50,142 I reckon it was pretty scary. 543 00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:56,200 I know why you stopped coming. I would have, too. 544 00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:58,560 It was so awful. 545 00:37:00,197 --> 00:37:01,925 You were so awful. 546 00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,960 That bus fucked you up so bad, Tone. 547 00:37:07,298 --> 00:37:08,921 I just couldn't... 548 00:37:09,213 --> 00:37:10,560 I know. 549 00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:15,640 What's happened? 550 00:37:24,871 --> 00:37:26,348 I can't say it. 551 00:37:29,722 --> 00:37:31,619 Know how that feels. 552 00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:35,830 Let's go for a drink. 553 00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:43,307 Sid? 554 00:38:56,660 --> 00:38:59,176 Tony! Hi! Tony! 555 00:39:00,432 --> 00:39:01,900 Oh. Hi, Abi. 556 00:39:02,020 --> 00:39:04,199 Aren't we so kicking? 557 00:39:04,361 --> 00:39:07,300 James says he wants me to sing lead on his next song he writes 558 00:39:07,420 --> 00:39:09,900 because I'm like totally Performance Art. 559 00:39:10,020 --> 00:39:14,500 Anyway, I bet you can't wait to take me home tonight, yah? 560 00:39:15,499 --> 00:39:16,599 I'm with Sid. 561 00:39:16,761 --> 00:39:20,039 You wouldn't desert your girlfriend, OK? 562 00:39:21,180 --> 00:39:23,079 You're not his girlfriend. 563 00:39:23,241 --> 00:39:26,380 Well, actually I don't think you get to decide that, Sidney. 564 00:39:26,601 --> 00:39:28,820 Tony loves Michelle. 565 00:39:28,940 --> 00:39:30,780 They're having a few problems. 566 00:39:30,961 --> 00:39:32,660 He can't remember stuff well. 567 00:39:32,780 --> 00:39:36,820 But I know whatever you've told him is a total lie. 568 00:39:36,940 --> 00:39:40,380 So fuck off and leave him alone. OK? 569 00:39:40,500 --> 00:39:42,519 Tony! You remember? 570 00:39:43,540 --> 00:39:46,100 I have nipples like creme caramels, yah? 571 00:39:51,401 --> 00:39:52,900 Sid says I love Michelle. 572 00:39:53,020 --> 00:39:53,980 No! 573 00:39:54,161 --> 00:39:55,410 You... You... 574 00:39:59,105 --> 00:40:00,786 I'll be back. 575 00:40:04,616 --> 00:40:08,820 The moment you've all been waiting for. Crystal Castles. Yeah! 576 00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:54,072 Where? 577 00:43:02,580 --> 00:43:04,408 I can't go in. 578 00:43:05,580 --> 00:43:06,829 Yes, you can. 579 00:43:07,860 --> 00:43:08,860 Come on. 580 00:43:22,340 --> 00:43:24,004 Ficking hell. 581 00:43:25,152 --> 00:43:26,349 Fucking... 582 00:43:27,620 --> 00:43:28,620 Yeah. 583 00:43:29,740 --> 00:43:31,180 Fucking hell. 584 00:43:33,740 --> 00:43:34,740 Dad? 585 00:43:56,423 --> 00:43:58,533 Is this really happening? 586 00:44:01,220 --> 00:44:02,660 I think so. 587 00:44:34,428 --> 00:44:36,959 I don't know what I'm supposed to do to him. 588 00:44:38,580 --> 00:44:39,829 Ring someone. 589 00:44:40,940 --> 00:44:42,215 I can't, 590 00:44:43,060 --> 00:44:44,309 they'll come. 591 00:44:45,972 --> 00:44:47,941 They'll all fucking come. 592 00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:13,220 Do you think he'd mind? 593 00:45:27,860 --> 00:45:29,547 He was so happy. 594 00:45:31,740 --> 00:45:32,860 My mum. 595 00:45:34,820 --> 00:45:36,519 Oh, Christ. 596 00:45:36,681 --> 00:45:37,681 OK. 597 00:45:45,340 --> 00:45:46,340 Dad? 598 00:45:47,940 --> 00:45:49,340 What do I do? 599 00:46:07,860 --> 00:46:08,860 Mum? 600 00:46:52,804 --> 00:46:55,733 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd transcript.subtitle.me.uk 601 00:46:55,853 --> 00:46:57,911 Resync: Nathbot 602 00:47:03,720 --> 00:47:05,759 - You went to see Tony? - It's over, Sid. 603 00:47:05,921 --> 00:47:07,820 {3}It's a present. For the good times. 604 00:47:08,001 --> 00:47:09,600 Allah Akbar! 40287

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