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♪
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ANNOUNCER: [video]
We're in the bottom of the 7th
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and it's a tied game
at 3 apiece.
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Jonathan's at the plate,
looking to break the deadlock.
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Here's the pitch...
Jonathan swings...
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It's a deep drive
to left field...
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Going, going...
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And it's gone!
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-Hey, you.
-Hey.
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-I dissent.
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-Um...
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Wh...
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-You don't find
strong women sexy?
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-Oh no, I do, but...
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-Let me see
that fiduciary booty.
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-I don't know what that means.
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-Women's bodily autonomy
doesn't turn you on?
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-No, it-- it does.
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Women's rights are human rights.
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-Yeah, women's rights
are human rights.
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-Yeah?
-Yeah.
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-Yeah?
-Yeah, yeah, say it again.
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-Fuck the... patriarchy.
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-I'm gonna fuck the patriarchy.
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You're the patriarchy
and I am gonna fuck it.
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-You fuck the patriarchy.
-I'm fucking the patriarchy.
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-Call me patriarchy.
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-Okay, if you can
just help me get this...
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-I don't know where...
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Where are you in here?
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Can I go through the sleeve?
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-Go in.
-Oh!
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-Oh! Okay.
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Okay, the verdict is in!
The verdict is in!
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-Okay.
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Yeah. Do you like this?
Are you into this?
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-Something,
something's happening.
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-Yeah? Okay.
Is this, uh...
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Wait, wait, uh...
What?
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No, wait.
What is this?
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-Well, I--
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I just want
to feel like someone
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who can make a decision.
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[gavel smacks lightly]
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-Hit me again.
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-Hmm.
-Hot, yeah.
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FERN: [gasps]
Oh! My frill!
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-I finally started
going through your things.
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-Hm, and this is
what you're doing with it.
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-Is this working for you?
-Uh-huh.
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-You know, RBG actually
got that look from me.
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-Uh, I'm sorry,
RBG's iconic collar came...
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from you?
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-Uh, do you want me
to go on top?
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-Shh, shh, shh, you're good.
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-I'm telling you,
I wore it first.
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-Well, she's dead now.
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-She died?!
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EMMY: So I guess
we'll never know.
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-I loved her.
-I know.
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Everyone did.
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She was such an...
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FERN & EMMY: Inspiration.
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-Oh...
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♪
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♪
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♪ Fuck! ♪
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FERN: [gasps]
Oh, my driving gloves!
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No, you can't get rid of those.
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They're leather
and they're from Italy.
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-You never wore them.
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-Where was I gonna wear
Italian driving gloves,
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picking up carpool?
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-Okay, I don't carpool
and I'm not gonna wear them.
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-Of course you're not
gonna wear them.
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They don't suit you .
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I was 19.
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[sighs]
In Florence.
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My boyfriend, he wanted me
to spend the summer
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with his family.
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My mother did not want me to go,
and I said,
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"What, you think I need
to go to Italy to have sex?
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"I can do it right here too."
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Turns out I did
need to go to Italy.
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-That's very gross.
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-I knew it!
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[angelic music]
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-I didn't care where you did it.
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But that family,
they always thought
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they were better than us.
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Why, because they had money?
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-They were better than us.
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-Why, because
they went to museums?
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I'm sorry I didn't
take you to museums.
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I was busy putting
food on the table.
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FERN: Who said anything
about museums?
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-What is this dead animal?
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-[gasps]
Oh, my fur coat!
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My dad gave it me
for my 16th birthday.
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It's ocelot.
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PEARL: It's not ocelot!
It's fox.
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-We are not donating
my ocelot coat, thank you!
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-Why?
-Because it's ocelot!
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PEARL: It's fox!
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Hey you, little chana punnam.
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-Well, you can't wear
fur anymore, anyway.
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So, sorry.
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-No, you can,
if it's fabulous.
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PEARL: Whatever happened
to my big mixing bowl?
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I had the whole
Golden Harvest set.
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-Yeah, it was a set.
Emmy broke one.
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-She was six!
It was an accident.
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-Mm-hm.
-Wow!
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Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
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-Oh, Mom, look,
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there's the dress
you wore to my wedding!
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Oh, wait,
you should have seen me, though.
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I looked like a young
Kathleen Turner.
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PEARL: Every time with
the Kathleen Turner story.
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-It's true. Someone even
asked for my autograph.
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-I was--
-ALL: Fabulous.
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-Try it on.
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-I have so much to get through.
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-Come on, try it on.
Try it!
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-Nah, she said
she doesn't wanna try it.
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Leave her be.
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-What's she got
going on in her life
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that she can't take two seconds
out to try on the dress?
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-Come on, try it on!
-Fine!
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EMMY: It's not gonna fit.
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-I don't know
how you got into it.
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[Fern and Pearl gasp]
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PEARL: She looks gorgeous!
It fits her perfectly!
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-I could never wear it.
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It was always
too big on my hips.
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But you fill it out!
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Look at you.
Turn! Spin!
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Spin!
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Ha-ha, oh!
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Woo!
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♪ You will hypnotize
by the way that you move... ♪
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♪ With a thousand stars
sparkling on your shoes! ♪
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I used to sneak out
in my stilettos.
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PEARL: You did what?!
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-Yeah, they were
my fuck-me pumps.
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-Disgusting!
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-♪ Boogie-oogie,
boogie-woogie... ♪
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♪ You were born at the disco ♪
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♪ Plastic headphones
in your ears ♪
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♪ You were born in the music ♪
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♪ Some things
never get to be clear ♪
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♪ Like this... ♪
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FERN: Come on, Mom.
PEARL: I don't dance!
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♪ Like this... ♪
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♪ Like this ♪
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♪ Like this... ♪
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♪ Like this ♪
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♪ Like this... ♪
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[music stops suddenly]
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-Did the Rabbi really say
I was a "woman of valour?"
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-I'm sorry.
We asked him not to.
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-Who else was at the funeral?
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-Uh, Tom and Linda
and Aunt Bernice came.
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-Of course she did.
That bitch.
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-Such a bitch.
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-Bet she loved it.
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-She couldn't wait
for you to croak.
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-Cried louder than anyone.
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FERN: That's just like her.
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-She told me to...
look out for dimes.
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-Dimes?
-What kind of dimes?
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-Like, if you see one
on the ground,
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it's a sign of love
from someone who's passed,
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like a spiritual thing.
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-Why would I do that?
Leave a dime.
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-But there I am,
at the cemetery,
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and I notice a dime
right by my feet.
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-[sighs]
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♪
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♪
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-So I'm dead and you stopped
to pick up some spare change.
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Then what happened?
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-[sighs]
Uh...
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Jude and Cole and I are
shovelling dirt on your casket,
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and, God, do you remember
Ashley Conigan?
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-The tall one from high school?
-Yes!
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I haven't seen her since.
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And I put down the shovel,
turn around,
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00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:03,890
and there's Ashley
shovelling dirt on your casket.
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In heels, no less.
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-Did you wear flats
to my funeral?
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Oh, Emmy!
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00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:12,131
-And I am looking at her
and all I can think is...
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"Hey, Ashley,
stop burying my mother!"
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Hey!
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00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:20,339
-Ashley!
Stop burying my mother.
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Stop burying my mother!
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00:07:23,509 --> 00:07:27,213
[yelling]
Stop burying my mother!
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00:07:32,718 --> 00:07:35,354
-Sounds like it was
nice of her to come.
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00:07:40,092 --> 00:07:41,994
Ah-ha, yes!
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00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:43,563
I found the bowls.
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00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:46,065
-Oh, let me see those.
203
00:07:46,098 --> 00:07:49,168
-Oh my God, I love these.
I need a mixing bowl.
204
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:50,937
-They were given to me
by my mother
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00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:52,872
and there was a set
until you broke one.
206
00:07:52,905 --> 00:07:54,874
-Well, I don't think
I did it on purpose.
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00:07:54,907 --> 00:07:55,875
-They're worthless now.
208
00:07:55,908 --> 00:07:57,577
-It was an accident!
209
00:07:57,610 --> 00:08:01,347
-How come you never
gave me something to have?
210
00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:04,083
Never, like,
bequeathed anything to me?
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00:08:04,116 --> 00:08:06,085
-Sorry, what would you
have liked me to "bequeath?"
212
00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:08,721
-I don't know,
something meaningful to you.
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00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:10,089
-It's just stuff.
214
00:08:10,122 --> 00:08:11,557
-I know it's just stuff.
215
00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:13,292
-Let her have the bowls.
216
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,195
-Would you like the bowls?
217
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:18,297
-The ones you just
said are worthless? Great.
218
00:08:18,364 --> 00:08:20,366
-Do you want the bowls or not?
219
00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:24,871
-Um... who is this?
220
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:28,441
Who's... Wolf?
221
00:08:28,474 --> 00:08:29,742
-Nobody.
222
00:08:29,775 --> 00:08:32,245
-Ah, that boy!
He made me so mad I could spit.
223
00:08:32,278 --> 00:08:33,880
[pretending to spit]
224
00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:37,917
-You were engaged?
225
00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:40,219
-I told her not to,
but would she listen?
226
00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:44,490
-He's the one you went to Italy
to have sex with!
227
00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:46,626
FERN: That is
none of your business.
228
00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:47,760
-So what was the story?
229
00:08:47,793 --> 00:08:49,095
FERN: There's no story.
230
00:08:49,128 --> 00:08:51,430
-Clearly there is a story!
231
00:08:52,665 --> 00:08:55,067
-Okay.
232
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:57,470
The story is that I loved him.
233
00:08:57,503 --> 00:08:59,438
And he had a chateau.
234
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,140
And I spent the summer
with his family.
235
00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:02,441
In Florence.
236
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:03,643
PEARL: A chateau!
237
00:09:03,676 --> 00:09:05,912
She spends one night
in a nice room
238
00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:08,080
and she thinks she's
Princess Diana, your mother.
239
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:10,316
-Okay, at least
I went to Florence.
240
00:09:10,349 --> 00:09:11,751
-I've been to Florence.
241
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:13,152
-No, you haven't.
242
00:09:13,185 --> 00:09:14,754
-I didn't want to go.
243
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,124
Yeah, well...
244
00:09:18,157 --> 00:09:20,860
FERN: We were supposed
to get married.
245
00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:23,596
And his mother said that
I wasn't good enough for him,
246
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:27,466
so he started
to see someone else...
247
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,969
and... yeah.
248
00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:33,806
I didn't even know that we'd
broken up until I came back
249
00:09:33,839 --> 00:09:37,677
and I read about his wedding
announcement in the paper.
250
00:09:40,446 --> 00:09:42,815
-So... he married her?
251
00:09:42,848 --> 00:09:44,717
Well, then what happened?
252
00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:47,520
-Then he died
in a fiery plane crash
253
00:09:47,553 --> 00:09:49,689
because no one does me a dirty.
254
00:09:55,561 --> 00:09:57,129
So...
255
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:58,998
it's the anniversary
of my death.
256
00:09:59,031 --> 00:10:00,833
Are you going to
light a candle for me?
257
00:10:00,866 --> 00:10:02,668
-You asked us not to.
258
00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:05,304
"Life is for the living"
and all of that?
259
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:07,974
-What, now you're better than me
because you're alive?
260
00:10:15,581 --> 00:10:19,151
-Is that a tomato plant?
-Yes.
261
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:21,587
-Do tomato plants grow indoors?
262
00:10:21,654 --> 00:10:23,255
-If you love them enough.
263
00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:25,658
-It's a good thing
you're marrying him.
264
00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:28,094
-The marketing specialist?
-Mm-hm, yeah.
265
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:29,895
He loves you more.
It's better that way.
266
00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:31,197
It's just like your father.
267
00:10:31,230 --> 00:10:32,665
-And you got divorced.
268
00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:34,767
-Yeah, but not because of love,
because he was boring
269
00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:36,268
and insufferable.
270
00:10:36,335 --> 00:10:38,537
Get married, have a baby.
Be a mother.
271
00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:41,674
-Did you like being a mother?
272
00:10:43,676 --> 00:10:46,212
-Alright, my memorial candle.
Let's go!
273
00:10:46,245 --> 00:10:48,014
I haven't got all night.
274
00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:49,081
-Um...
275
00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:01,794
-"This smells like
Taylor Swift"?
276
00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:04,230
-Do you want me
to light it or not?
277
00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:07,099
♪
278
00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:11,237
♪
279
00:11:11,270 --> 00:11:12,938
How does it go again?
280
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:15,074
-How much money did
I spend on Hebrew school?
281
00:11:15,107 --> 00:11:17,777
Yitgadal--
282
00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:21,947
-Yitgadal
v'yitkadash sh'mei raba.
283
00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:26,752
B'alma di v'ra chirutei
v'yamlich malchutei,
284
00:11:26,786 --> 00:11:32,224
b'chayeichon' uv'yomeichon
uv'chayei d'chol beit Yisrael,
285
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:35,594
baagala uviz'man kariv, V'im'ru.
286
00:11:37,763 --> 00:11:39,832
Amen.
287
00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:43,102
♪ You'll just get
there before me ♪
288
00:11:43,135 --> 00:11:45,738
♪ I hope you believe ♪
289
00:11:45,771 --> 00:11:49,408
♪ You're going
where I'm going ♪
290
00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:51,911
♪ I'll see you again ♪
291
00:11:51,944 --> 00:11:54,914
♪ You'll just get
there before me ♪
33284
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