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1
00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:06,406
[upbeat saxophone music]
2
00:00:06,439 --> 00:00:11,111
- Mayan, I have one more guest
for the wedding list,
3
00:00:11,144 --> 00:00:13,546
my dear friend Celeste.
4
00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:15,215
- The cashier from Ross?
5
00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:18,818
- We have to invite her.
6
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,187
She gives me a discount.
7
00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:23,323
- It's Ross.
You don't need a discount.
8
00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:26,693
There's too many people
on this list.
9
00:00:26,726 --> 00:00:28,194
We got to make some cuts.
10
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:32,499
I'm already eating Del Flaco
instead of Del Taco.
11
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:35,235
- What's "Del Flaco"?
- It's my usual Del Taco order,
12
00:00:35,268 --> 00:00:37,604
just cut down to six burritos.
13
00:00:38,638 --> 00:00:40,674
- Well, we still need to add
guests from Quinten's side
14
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,542
once his parents get here
from North Dakota.
15
00:00:42,575 --> 00:00:44,210
And I don't want to hear
any more jokes
16
00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:46,179
about them being related
to bison.
17
00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:49,449
I'm serious.
18
00:00:49,482 --> 00:00:51,518
Quinten's always worried
about his parents' approval.
19
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:54,320
- Ay, it's always so awkward
with his mom.
20
00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:56,189
We never know what to say
to each other.
21
00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:58,291
- I wish we had that problem.
22
00:00:59,859 --> 00:01:02,128
- Please welcome
Bismarck, North Dakota's,
23
00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:03,630
most famous
high school sweethearts,
24
00:01:03,663 --> 00:01:06,199
Sam and Ruthie Van Bryan.
25
00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:11,638
- Aw.
26
00:01:11,671 --> 00:01:13,306
We're not the most famous.
27
00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:15,275
That would be
Dave and Donna Prescott.
28
00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:17,711
They own a Buca di Beppo.
29
00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:22,582
- By the way,
we invited them to the wedding.
30
00:01:22,615 --> 00:01:23,917
- Can they cater it?
31
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:25,352
- Ha!
32
00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:26,653
No, no, no.
No, no, we don't--
33
00:01:26,686 --> 00:01:27,887
we don't need them to cater.
34
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,522
We are self-reliant.
35
00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:32,792
I manage this house
like I manage the Apple Store.
36
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:36,196
Speaking of, my manager badge.
37
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,265
- Hi, Rosie.
38
00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:42,469
- Oh, hi, Ruthie.
39
00:01:49,509 --> 00:01:51,411
I got to go pee.
40
00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:59,652
- So that's Dave and Donna
and then you two.
41
00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:01,821
Is there any more
on your guest list?
42
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,923
No? That's great, thanks.
43
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,925
- [laughs]
44
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,394
George, we're going to invite
45
00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:09,929
at least 120 people
to this wedding.
46
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,898
- 120?
47
00:02:11,931 --> 00:02:13,967
Why don't you invite
half of Bismarck?
48
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,436
- That is half of Bismarck.
49
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,305
- Grandma! Grandpa!
50
00:02:19,339 --> 00:02:22,342
- Oh, sweetie!
- Oh, Chancie-pants!
51
00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,577
- What did you bring me?
52
00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:25,945
- I told him not
to expect gifts
53
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,347
every time you guys visit.
54
00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:30,483
It's not cutesy, mindful,
or demure.
55
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:35,722
- We did bring you something,
but first, I need to know,
56
00:02:35,755 --> 00:02:38,525
do you have
your driver's license?
57
00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:41,795
- No, but neither does Grandpa,
and that doesn't stop him.
58
00:02:43,596 --> 00:02:45,699
- Well, buckle up, buttercup,
59
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:47,967
because we got you...
60
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,603
- A brand-new car.
61
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:56,443
Just like I sell
at my dealership.
62
00:02:56,476 --> 00:02:58,478
- Thank you.
I'm gonna use this
63
00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:01,681
to pick up all the honeys
in my robotics class.
64
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,989
- I never had a brand-new car.
65
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,491
- It's just a toy, George.
66
00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:13,660
- I never had a brand-new toy.
67
00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:17,430
- Aw, Grandpa, I feel bad.
68
00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:20,767
I'll let you wash and wax
this baby later.
69
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:27,674
[upbeat saxophone music]
70
00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:34,647
* *
71
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,756
- My parents are safely
checked into their hotel.
72
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:46,526
- And the stairs are
on the inside.
73
00:03:50,096 --> 00:03:51,631
- Where are they staying?
74
00:03:51,664 --> 00:03:53,533
- The Ritz.
75
00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,669
- Your parents are staying
at the Ritz
76
00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:57,637
while I'm sitting here
trying to trick my stomach
77
00:03:57,671 --> 00:04:00,407
into believing
this is three burritos?
78
00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:03,810
- Did you know they were rich?
79
00:04:03,843 --> 00:04:06,646
- If I did, I would have
married him sooner.
80
00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,649
- Hey, your parents
are loaded, man.
81
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:11,317
How come they're not
chipping in for the wedding?
82
00:04:11,351 --> 00:04:12,952
- Because I told them
how much it meant to you
83
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,054
to be able to pay
for the wedding
84
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,890
as father of the bride.
85
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,426
- Why do you always have
to listen to everything I say?
86
00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:24,030
- Your wedding is
getting expensive.
87
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:25,832
The Van Bryans
should pay for half
88
00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:28,835
if they're inviting everyone
in Bisquick, North Dakota.
89
00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:33,039
- So ask Mr. Monopoly
and his hot trophy wife
90
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:35,508
to back that truck up.
91
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:38,678
- I can't.
92
00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:40,447
When I moved out here
to make it on my own,
93
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:41,881
my dad said it was
a big mistake.
94
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:44,084
So if I ask him for money,
95
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,353
he's gonna think he was right.
96
00:04:46,386 --> 00:04:48,621
- How touching.
97
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:50,557
Is that better
than them squeezing
98
00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:53,026
all the leche right out of me,
99
00:04:53,059 --> 00:04:57,530
every dime, every lactose drop?
100
00:04:57,564 --> 00:05:00,033
- Mayan, a little help here.
101
00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:03,570
- I know how important
your father's approval is.
102
00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:05,071
But my parents have a point.
103
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:06,573
For the last nine years,
104
00:05:06,606 --> 00:05:08,108
we haven't asked your parents
for anything.
105
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,443
Meanwhile, my parents,
who aren't rich,
106
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:13,079
have cooked, cleaned,
and even babysat for us.
107
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,648
- Preach.
108
00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:17,617
- All that help
is easily worth--
109
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:21,755
- $287,000.55 pre-tax.
110
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:26,159
- So ask Mr. Monopoly
and his hot trophy wife
111
00:05:26,192 --> 00:05:29,662
to back that truck up!
112
00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:32,899
[upbeat saxophone music]
113
00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:36,002
* *
114
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:38,872
- Mother, Father.
115
00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,473
I want to talk
about the wedding.
116
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,075
- Well, doesn't everybody?
117
00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:44,010
Excuse my language,
118
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:47,580
but it is a big honkin' deal.
119
00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:50,116
- Yup, ever since
I posted it on Facebook,
120
00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:52,752
I got friends, I got customers
at the dealership,
121
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:56,723
can't stop talking
about the Van Lopez wedding.
122
00:05:56,756 --> 00:05:58,825
- You posted a picture of me
on Facebook.
123
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:03,196
And I'm not even a Chevy Malibu
with zero down and 0.9 APR.
124
00:06:03,229 --> 00:06:05,465
- We're proud of you, tiger.
125
00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:07,667
You moved across the country
without any help
126
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,736
and made a life for yourself.
127
00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:11,971
- I've--I've never heard
you say you were proud,
128
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:14,641
or call me "tiger."
129
00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:17,677
- Better get used
to it...tiger.
130
00:06:19,979 --> 00:06:21,181
I got something for you.
131
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:24,117
- Oh, it's happening!
132
00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:25,719
[laughs giddily]
133
00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:29,022
- Yeah. Uh, here we go.
134
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:32,525
- Wh--your Chevrolet
Spring Sales Event winner pin?
135
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,060
I thought you wanted
to be buried with it.
136
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:35,595
- Yeah.
137
00:06:35,628 --> 00:06:38,531
Well, now you don't have
to steal it from my corpse.
138
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:41,534
No, I--I know
you always wanted it,
139
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,203
but you had
too much self-respect
140
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:46,106
to ask your ol' man
for anything.
141
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:49,609
- So, uh, what'd you want
to tell us about the wedding?
142
00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:51,945
- You know,
that we picked our napkins,
143
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:54,014
and they're beige.
144
00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:56,216
- Strong choice.
145
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,984
* *
146
00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:04,224
[upbeat saxophone music]
147
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,558
* *
148
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,561
- Quinten, welcome to my home.
149
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:12,565
Mi casa is parked outside
of su casa.
150
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,267
- I'm hiding from my parents
151
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:16,136
and Mayan's parents
152
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,671
and Mayan
153
00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:20,006
and the truth.
154
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,876
- From that Spring Sales Event
pin on your shirt,
155
00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:25,078
I'm gonna say this is
about your relationship
156
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,080
with your father.
157
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,882
- Wow. That is insightful.
158
00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:31,851
- Clearly, you killed him
and took his pin.
159
00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:36,690
- Less insightful.
160
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:38,758
The Lopezes want me
to ask my parents
161
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,560
to help pay for the wedding,
162
00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:42,629
but I am scared
of disappointing my dad,
163
00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:45,031
who is finally proud of me.
164
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:47,934
- I'm scared I'll die alone
in this truck.
165
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,738
But I guess your dad thing
is important too.
166
00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:56,910
Let me give you the best advice
I've ever received:
167
00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:58,912
always lie.
168
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,550
Through your teeth,
on the stand, out ya ass.
169
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,787
- I'm--I'm not
a very good liar.
170
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:11,091
But I don't know
if I have any other choice.
171
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,659
- You'll be fine.
172
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:15,829
I have complete faith in you.
173
00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:17,864
See? Lying's not that hard.
174
00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:21,801
The key is to keep it simple
175
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,004
so you don't have to remember
a lot of details.
176
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:28,608
- It was 6:58.
177
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:33,213
The low evening sun cast long
shadows across the kitchen.
178
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:35,015
The dew outside--
179
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:38,084
- Shut up about the dew!
180
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,153
What did your parents say
about chipping in some money?
181
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,721
- They said no.
182
00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,990
And they got really mad,
so we should just
183
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,725
not ever speak
about money again.
184
00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:47,360
- What's that thing
on your shirt?
185
00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:49,329
- Oh, this?
Uh, it's a pin--
186
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,866
that my dad stabbed me with
for bringing up money.
187
00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,373
- But I just saw your parents
a few minutes ago
188
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:02,308
and they were all smiles.
189
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:05,979
- Oh...oh, th-that's
how you know they're upset.
190
00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:10,150
Because the madder they are,
the bigger they smile.
191
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:13,953
- Really?
Is that a North Dakota thing?
192
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:16,122
- Yeah, let's go with that.
193
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:20,927
Yeah, it's called...
"North Dakota nice."
194
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,066
- I'm so sorry
that they got so mad at you.
195
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:30,170
The fact that you were willing
to ask is all we could want.
196
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:32,639
- I still want the money.
197
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:35,742
I'll ask.
People like me.
198
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:38,178
They really like me.
199
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:40,046
- Nobody likes you.
200
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,247
I'll ask.
201
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:44,250
Now I have something to finally
talk to your mom about.
202
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:45,819
- No.
203
00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:49,155
Please, nobody bring up money
with my parents.
204
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,256
We'll just cut costs.
205
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,158
We can consider getting married
at the courthouse.
206
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:54,160
We have a nice dinner
at Outback after.
207
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:55,862
- Ay.
208
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,869
- We'll do
whatever we have to do.
209
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:07,907
- I do like the Outback.
210
00:10:09,909 --> 00:10:12,946
Those onions are a-bloomin'
this time of year.
211
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,949
- There is no way
212
00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:17,751
that I am getting married
at the courthouse.
213
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:21,054
I want to walk down the aisle,
not through a metal detector.
214
00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:24,991
- That's my girl.
215
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:27,460
I thought you were gonna
support Quinten because of your
216
00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:30,330
"healthy relationship
that leaves ego at the door."
217
00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:32,265
Blah, blah, blah, barf.
218
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:36,136
- You know, it took a lot for
me to decide to get married.
219
00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:38,071
I want my wedding
to be special.
220
00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:41,341
- Oh, I never thought
I'd hear you say that.
221
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:47,047
- Quinten said that we can't
ask the Van Bryans for money,
222
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:50,250
but we can manipulate them.
223
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,255
- That's my girl.
224
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:02,328
Thinking like a Lopez!
225
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:06,433
- Manipulation comes
from my side of the family.
226
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:09,235
You can take credit
for the excess facial hair.
227
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:10,770
- Uh.
228
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:12,772
* *
229
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,240
- Oh.
230
00:11:17,977 --> 00:11:19,179
[upbeat saxophone music]
231
00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:23,083
- Don't mind me, just getting
a little preview of the food
232
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:25,819
I'm gonna be picking out
of your garbage later.
233
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:29,856
- Yeah, for the wedding,
I'm preparing a tasting menu
234
00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:32,859
of Latin American
and North Dakotan cuisine.
235
00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:35,829
- Two great tastes
that taste great together.
236
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:39,332
- Thanks again
for your advice, Oscar.
237
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,534
I feel bad
for lying to everybody,
238
00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:44,104
but it worked.
[chuckles weakly]
239
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:49,242
- It always works and never
blows up in your face.
240
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:54,314
- Is that a lie?
241
00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:55,949
- No.
242
00:11:55,982 --> 00:12:01,388
* *
243
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:08,128
- Look at them,
being all North Dakota nice.
244
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:12,899
All that anger, it's ugly.
245
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:23,943
- Well, we'll beat them
at their own game.
246
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:26,413
We'll be so nice
that they'll assume we're mad,
247
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:28,548
ask what's wrong,
and then we'll hit them
248
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,217
with the bill for the wedding.
249
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,919
- Then we're not the ones
bringing it up.
250
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,120
- Mm-hmm.
251
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:37,824
- First you act all nice,
252
00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:39,559
and then you get the money,
253
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:41,394
and then you get the power.
254
00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:47,100
- When are we gonna start
the tasting?
255
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:48,335
- Well, I think we're ready.
256
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:50,036
Would you like to help
carry the plates, Gordo?
257
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,439
- I would, but I'm late
to this important thing
258
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:55,241
in the living room.
259
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:59,346
* *
260
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:00,947
- OK, first,
261
00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:03,116
from the North Dakota side
of the family,
262
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:05,518
sour cream and raisin pie.
263
00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:07,020
- Oh.
264
00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:10,990
- This is
my Grammie-Gram's recipe.
265
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:13,226
She's at the great potluck
in the sky now,
266
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:15,295
serving this to the angels.
267
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:20,400
- I'm sure my tummy-tum
is about to say yummy-yum.
268
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,302
[polite laughter]
269
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:26,039
- Mmm!
270
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:30,076
Mmm.
271
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:32,379
[strained] Mmm.
272
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:36,116
- You're so chatty
tonight, Rosie.
273
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,151
- Mouths are for three things--
274
00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:42,322
chatting, chewing, and smiling.
275
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:45,158
[polite laughter]
276
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:50,930
- Well, by gum...
[chuckles]
277
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:56,069
This is delicious.
278
00:13:57,971 --> 00:14:00,306
- Wow. You really love the pie.
279
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,409
OK, I'll mark that down
as a winner for the wedding.
280
00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:07,080
- Are we eating the same pie?
281
00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:11,951
This is nasty.
282
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,086
- [laughs awkwardly]
283
00:14:15,955 --> 00:14:19,459
- Even Churro won't eat it,
and she eats her own poop.
284
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:25,031
[awkward laughter]
285
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:27,701
- Kids say the darndest things.
286
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:30,603
- Next up,
from Rosie's Cuban side,
287
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:32,472
ropa vieja.
288
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:34,607
- Ooh.
289
00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:36,276
- Mmm.
290
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:40,146
- Whoa!
291
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,521
Whoa.
292
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,390
That's got some kick.
293
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:55,328
What kind of spice do you use?
294
00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:58,631
- It's salt.
295
00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:00,433
- Mm-mm-mm.
296
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:02,969
- I mean, it's salt!
297
00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:05,505
I use it on all of my dishes.
298
00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:06,639
Isn't it delicious?
299
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:09,075
- [exhales heavily]
300
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:13,013
- We're just loving
this cultural exchange.
301
00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:21,621
- [hushed] It's not working.
302
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,623
They can't tell
that we're mad at them.
303
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:25,392
We got to turn up the nice.
304
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:26,359
- I'm on it.
305
00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:27,560
Sam?
306
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:28,661
- Ah. Yes, George?
307
00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:30,296
- I love you.
308
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:38,238
- Wow.
[laughs]
309
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,440
What is this, the Moose Lodge?
310
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:43,276
[laughter]
311
00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:45,478
- What--what's happening?
312
00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:48,181
- We're just being nice,
like we always are.
313
00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:50,417
- You're never nice.
314
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,685
- Yes, we are.
315
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:55,121
In fact, there's a name
for this kind of nice.
316
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,223
- North Dakota nice.
317
00:15:57,257 --> 00:16:00,126
Eh?
- Ah, Dios m�o.
318
00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:04,197
- What is North Dakota nice?
319
00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:06,199
- Don't act dumb, Ruthie.
320
00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:09,669
- Quinten told us
that you pretend to be nice
321
00:16:09,703 --> 00:16:11,304
when you're actually angry.
322
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:15,342
- I don't think we know
what you're talking about.
323
00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:16,810
- No, we're not angry--
324
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:18,578
wait.
325
00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:21,648
Are you angry?
326
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:24,150
- Of course we are.
327
00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:26,419
- Oscar, now would be
a great time to interrupt
328
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:28,221
with some fruitcake cookies!
329
00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:34,194
- You refuse to pay
for my dream wedding.
330
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:38,231
I mean, Quinten and Mayan's
dream wedding.
331
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,169
- We haven't refused to pay
for anything.
332
00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:46,239
Quinten, what are
they talking about?
333
00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:53,079
- It was 6:59.
334
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:55,448
A lone coyote howled
in the distance--
335
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:59,619
- Let me give you the best
advice I've ever gotten, man:
336
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:02,355
always tell the truth.
337
00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:11,664
- Mom, Dad, um,
338
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:14,267
the Lopezes asked me to get you
to help pay for the wedding,
339
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:16,836
but...I lied.
340
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:18,672
I-I never asked them.
341
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:23,576
- So I've been
North Dakota nice for nothing?
342
00:17:25,679 --> 00:17:28,415
I'm going back to being
California cranky!
343
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:32,552
* *
344
00:17:35,789 --> 00:17:37,290
[bluesy saxophone music]
345
00:17:37,323 --> 00:17:38,825
- What is going on?
346
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:42,262
Why were you so afraid
to ask us for money, pumpkin?
347
00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:44,831
- [sighs]
It j--
348
00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:46,666
it just meant so much to me
when you guys said
349
00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:49,602
that you were proud of me
that I-I worried
350
00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:53,573
that if I asked for help,
you would think less of me.
351
00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:55,675
- Valid concern.
352
00:17:57,277 --> 00:18:01,247
- Quinten, you are
so gosh darn independent.
353
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:04,317
But can I let you in
on a little secret?
354
00:18:04,351 --> 00:18:06,553
As your parents,
we would like to think
355
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:07,854
that you still need us.
356
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:09,923
Right, Sam?
357
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:12,459
- I'm good.
358
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:15,228
- Samuel Rudolph Van Bryan,
359
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:18,631
you make like a coupon
and cut that out.
360
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,935
This is all your doing.
361
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:23,603
- Me?
362
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:26,740
- You don't tell Quinten that
you're proud of him enough.
363
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,541
And to make up for that,
364
00:18:28,575 --> 00:18:32,479
we would like to pay
for half of this wedding.
365
00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:35,749
And I don't want to hear
a bug's burp about it.
366
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:38,551
- Yes, dear.
367
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,655
- That means a lot to me.
368
00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:43,823
So thank you.
369
00:18:43,857 --> 00:18:45,525
- You are welcome.
370
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:47,360
And since we're paying,
371
00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:49,729
use that money
to get a caterer.
372
00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:54,668
- Yeah, one that doesn't use
all those crazy spices.
373
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,670
Salt?
374
00:18:59,873 --> 00:19:02,809
[overlapping arguing]
375
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,248
- Oh, look,
it's the little white guy
376
00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:10,383
who tells
the little white lies.
377
00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:14,621
- Deserved.
I'm sorry.
378
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:15,989
OK? I--
379
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,624
I know it was wrong,
380
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,559
but I-I couldn't
disappoint my parents.
381
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:21,494
- What about disappointing us?
382
00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:23,363
- I don't care about that.
383
00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:27,934
Because I know
you'd forgive me.
384
00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:32,405
You guys let me make mistakes,
and you don't judge me for it.
385
00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:36,309
- So you treated us worse
because we're better?
386
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:40,380
- Pretty much.
387
00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:43,483
- Ay, Quinten, I forgive you.
388
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:47,520
- Not me.
389
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:50,857
It'll be a cold day in hell
before I forgive you.
390
00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:54,294
- My parents are gonna pay
for half the wedding.
391
00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:56,363
- Ooh, is anybody else cold?
392
00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,669
Ay, Quinten,
I forgive you too, mijo.
393
00:20:06,740 --> 00:20:08,475
- Mayan?
394
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:12,746
- Yes, I forgive you too,
395
00:20:12,779 --> 00:20:14,481
but only because
I feel really bad
396
00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:16,850
that you had to watch
our dads kiss.
397
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,819
[upbeat saxophone music]
398
00:20:19,853 --> 00:20:21,454
* *
399
00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:22,722
- Wat are we doing here, Dad?
400
00:20:22,756 --> 00:20:24,758
- We had an idea
for the wedding.
401
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:26,760
Why don't you do
your first dance
402
00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:30,497
to the same song
your mother and I did?
403
00:20:31,865 --> 00:20:34,000
- That's so romantic.
404
00:20:34,034 --> 00:20:35,969
What was it?
405
00:20:36,002 --> 00:20:38,471
- Polka!
406
00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:40,774
[polka music playing]
407
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:42,609
- 5, 6, 7, 8.
408
00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:46,379
- * Roll out the barrel *
409
00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:49,449
* We'll have a barrel of fun *
410
00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:53,386
- That's so sweet,
but I-I don't want to impose
411
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:56,356
our cultural traditions
onto the Lopezes.
412
00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:57,524
- What are you talking about?
413
00:20:57,557 --> 00:20:59,659
This sounds like norte�o.
414
00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:02,762
[norte�o music playing]
415
00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:09,536
- Ooh!
This is like spicy polka!
416
00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:16,409
- Hey, Sam, forget that Chevy.
417
00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:18,545
Take this Cadillac for a spin.
418
00:21:26,086 --> 00:21:28,888
What is this, the Moose Lodge?
419
00:21:28,938 --> 00:21:33,488
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