Original subtitles

What you're about to see

may be dangerous, illegal, unethical,

petty, misguided, immoral, and most definitely stupid.

But it's also all true.

Hmm. Sort of.

Oh. Oh, God.

I'm gripping the knife.

I've never been more in the zone.

My pupils are ginormous.

I lift my hand up.

- Come on! - And I go, "One..."

I am completely locked in.

"Two."

I see dollar signs in my eyes. "Three..."

I wasn't even thinking. Like, that really wasn't me.

I was... I guess, like a murderer in that point or a butcher.

I was just... "This toe needs to come off.

I need to eat it. I need my 4,000 dollars."

My name is Phillip.

I was born and raised in Orlando, Florida.

And I'm currently a cast member at Walt Disney World.

This story begins to take its shape

in the summer of 2019.

At that time in my life, me and my friends

were huge Bassnectar fans.

We formed this, like, traveling circus

of Bassnectar fans.

I saw him 33 times in three years.

We worshipped him.

It didn't really matter where the show was.

We were gonna figure out a way to be there.

Bassnectar was gonna be playing

a three-day concert in Colorado.

I was like, "I gotta go."

But I was hurting for cash.

And so, that's when I kinda switched

into the mode of,

"I need money, I need money now."

Whenever I need to get money quickly,

I hop on America's best website.

Craigslist has not failed me.

So I made a post just saying...

"I need money now.

Willing to do anything."

"Within reason."

Typically, when you put "I need money" offer out,

you get the creeps saying, like...

I'm like, "No, I don't have that, I'm sorry."

No...

I don't have that.

I'm sorry.

"No, I'm sorry."

Sorry, I don't wanna do that.

I don't want to fuck anything.

I just wanna work.

But then, Steve messaged me.

It was pretty intriguing.

It's pretty intriguing.

So I responded back saying,

"I'm your guy, what's your fantasy?"

- Hello? - Hello?

This is Steve.

He was very blunt and to the point.

He says, "I want you to cut off three of my toes...

cook them..."

Eat them...

and I wanna watch.

In that moment, I was just like,

"Damn, I really wish it was sexual."

It'll be a blast.

I'd like to believe I'm a pretty smart person,

but my brain just was not computing the idea

that someone wanted his toes cut off

and eaten by a stranger from the internet.

Like, there's... there's just no way.

Hi, Phil.

I've been watching you.

Don't be shy now.

Cut those fucking toes off, bitch,

and come to me.

I was like, "You know what? How bad could it be?"

How bad could it be?

All right, I'm in.

I cut some toes. I eat them. I go see Bassnectar.

I wanna see Bassnectar.

Everything's good.

Yeah! Yeah, listen. I said, well...

I'm a people person at my core.

You know, the customer is always right.

Was like, "Fuck it."

I... I gotta go.

You know what I mean? Like, I've already told the man

I'm coming. It's his biggest fantasy.

I can't let him down.

♪ Mm, yeah.

Oh, yes. I'm going to eat you alive.

Every person has a fantasy.

There's nothing wrong with fantasies.

I am Lucia Gabriella.

I'm an intimacy expert in Sarasota, Florida.

Unfortunately, people think that you have to be crazy

to engage in these practices.

But hearing people's fantasies without judgment, without shame,

it creates a sacred, safe space

for people to really express themselves.

You know, one of the things about people

who are into, like, very hardcore fetishes,

like cannibalism, where the fantasy is about,

"I want to be eaten."

The whole desire of someone really eat them up.

Someone wants me so much that I am part of them.

Steve, at a deeper level,

is longing so much to feel connection

and love, unconditional love.

Once we agreed that we were gonna do it,

he's like, "Oh, do you have a friend

that you could bring with you

to make me feel more comfortable?

And I prefer if it was a female."

Can you bring a friend? Female.

And so, now my mind's thinking, you know,

"Who is, one, free on like a Thursday,

and two, is down to...

witness cannibalism."

I'll be honest, I tried really hard

not to think of this story for a very long time.

I don't tell this story to anyone.

We had been friends

since our sophomore year in high school.

I had nothing to do.

Absolutely nothing for two years of my life.

I was in a boot,

uh, due to an Achilles rupture injury

that I had while dancing for Orlando Magic.

And then, Phil reaches out to me.

It was from left field.

I give her a call, and I'm like,

"Carolyn, you're not going to believe

what I'm getting ready to tell you."

He then lets me know that,

"Look, someone has asked me to do something very bizarre."

"Uh, he wants me to cut his toe off."

You can see she's visibly, like, distraught.

She's like, "What?"

I think that because of our relationship previously,

we just always established that nothing was off the table.

I think Phil knew in asking me, specifically,

that I genuinely would not judge him.

So, I was really worried on, like, a legal level...

right, of the legalities of this.

Because worst case scenario in my mind

is that this goes horribly wrong.

And then, we get questioned by the cops or otherwise.

Like, "What were you all even doing here

and how do you know each other?"

We're here to cut Steve's toes off and eat them.

We're high school friends.

And she was like, "Are you actually gonna do this?"

And I was like, "I think I have to."

You know what I mean? It's his biggest fantasy.

I kind of want to help him out.

I was honestly... in a weird way,

honored more than anything that he had reached out to me

for this odd job, so to speak.

On the drive over, it's like I'm on a drug.

Except it's not a drug.

It's an idea.

The drug is the idea of being in Colorado

with my best friends, listening to Bassnectar.

Come to me.

Come to me.

Bass! Bass! Bass! Bass!

So, when we get there, to Steve's house,

we see that there's only one way in

and really one way out.

We're walking in with zero understanding.

We haven't even seen a picture of Steve at that point.

You know, this is the kind of stuff your parents say don't do.

Don't talk to strangers on the internet.

Don't take your best friend to their house at night.

That was textbook stranger danger.

I was just breaking all the rules.

I think I imagine Steve

being like a recluse and like a hoarder,

like in his mother's basement or something,

like playing video games with, like, a bag of Funyuns.

Maybe he just likes feet

and he wants, like, a feet act done.

- So hot. - Maybe he's a maniac.

It's them.

Hi.

He's very friendly, middle-aged guy.

I'm a very friendly, middle-aged guy. Come on in.

Welcome. Uh, make yourself at home.

Steve seemed to have a pretty good life for himself.

He had a nice townhouse. He had nice furniture, big TV.

He was so normal.

He's so normal.

I am so normal. Thank you for mentioning that.

Oh.

He offered me a beer, which I accepted.

I believe it was a Stella Artois,

which is... uh, you know. But I accepted the offer.

Cheers.

Just a really weird setting to, like, do cannibalism.

And that's when I see his setup.

He had, like, a sterile pad on the ground,

a cutting board, large knives,

but they were kitchen knives, which I thought was a bit weird.

It wasn't, like, a medical-grade knife.

We could really do some damage here

and we are, in no way, medical professionals.

I was starting to get, like, a bit nervous,

but then I remembered why I was here.

Come to me.

Sometimes in life we do things

that we don't really wanna do for a greater cause.

Yeah.

And this is one of those moments.

He showed us a contract for 2,000 dollars.

The light bulb in my head goes off,

and I remember I'm a vegetarian.

I don't even eat chicken.

I'm about to eat a guy's toe.

So I bumped it up to 4,000 dollars.

And he agreed.

Ready?

- Yep. - All right.

He told me which toes he exactly wanted cut off.

I had Carolyn draw out where on the toes

I needed to cut to get, like, a clean chop.

And then, the arched part

on the side of the foot cut off and eaten.

We've established, "Hey, there's no artery here,

like, we're gonna be okay."

She also took some of that ointment

and put it all over his foot.

We established I was gonna go,

one, two, three, knife onto foot.

The cut is happening.

We also established a safe word,

which was gonna be "Connecticut."

Connecticut.

'Cause that's where Steve was born and raised.

And now, it's showtime.

I'm ready to go.

I've never been more in the zone.

I can feel the excitement of knowing

that I'm gonna have the money to see Bassnectar

building in my body.

Carolyn's holding his hand.

He was sweating. He was a nervous wreck.

All right.

The NBA playoffs are in the background.

This is what it all comes down to, folks,

the moment of truth.

He gives me a thumbs-up.

Let's fucking do this.

Having the knife on the toe,

really, I think, put it into perspective,

the gravity of what we're gonna do,

and it was petrifying.

It was kind of this joined energy,

like a trance almost.

We weren't worried about the score...

of the playoffs anymore.

It was really this moment of like,

"Okay, we're going to do it."

I'm laser-focused,

I'm, like, talking to myself in my mind,

kind of like, you know, the angel and the devil.

You know, you shouldn't do this, but the devil's like...

This is your moment right now.

You want the money. You want the bass.

Do this.

And so, I was like, "I'm riding with the devil tonight."

Let's fucking do this.

So, I go...

One...

two...

three.

"Three." Knife onto the foot. I lift my hand up.

Let's fucking do this.

- Connecticut! - Ooh!

Fuck! "Connecticut"?

- Sorry. Sorry. - What's up, bud?

I'm like, "What's wrong? What's the issue?"

And that's when he reveals to me that he is a karate teacher.

Now, he's not sure

how he's gonna be able to teach karate

without his toes.

And this is when I start to get the idea...

that maybe he doesn't have much of this planned out.

Hey, I'm gonna show my feet to my students,

and... and they're gonna be freaked out.

Oh.

I reiterate to him that "This is your dream.

This is what you want.

You dragged me out here on a Thursday night,

so we're gonna do it." There's no backing out now.

- Yeah. - Yeah, okay, okay, I'm good.

We were trying to convince Steve,

more than anything, to go through with it.

He couldn't really take looking at the situation

while it was happening,

so we decided to do it on his stomach.

Yeah, 'cause I could see him raising it.

You don't wanna see it.

- Good idea, yeah. - You don't wanna see that.

- Thank you. - Yeah. Okay.

Okay.

Let's try again.

One.

I am so ready.

Two.

Give me a fucking toe, bitch.

I want blood.

Three.

I can feel it on my lips.

Connecticut, Connecticut.

- Connecticut. - Oh, come on.

Fucking... "Connecticut!" Fuck you!

- Sorry. - Ooh.

He goes into another spiel

about how he's gonna see all his friends and family

and he's not sure how to explain to them

why he's missing half of his foot.

So I was like, "Well, Steve, that's something

that you probably should've thought about."

And now, I'm starting to get a little pissed off,

'cause I'm like, "Is this man gonna pussy out

over his fantasy?"

Pussy.

Let me just put myself on his shoes.

Mm.

Mm.

The turn-on is when it stays in the fantasy world.

Mm, these are so yummy. Ready?

Once the idea becoming real, they just get repulsed by it.

Like, they just get, like, not about that.

So, here we are. Round three.

I think there's a little bit of anger in my hand

with the knife now.

I'm like, "This toe's gotta come off."

I see dollar signs in my eyes

and the man who dragged me out here

is getting in the way

of me getting that money.

I wasn't even thinking, like, that really wasn't me.

I was, I guess, like a murderer in that point, or a butcher.

I was just, this toe needs to come off.

I need to eat it. I need my 4,000 dollars.

We've come so close. And I go, "One...

two...

three."

Connecticut! Connecticut, Connecticut.

- God! - I can't. I can't, I'm so sorry.

He goes, "No, I can't, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

I... I just can't.

I'm really sorry I wasted your guys' time.

I just don't think I'm ready yet."

I come to a stop and, like, a rush comes over me.

And...

it dies.

We just finished our beers

and watched the last little clip of the playoffs.

Nail-biter here tonight.

Wow, what a great game.

And kind of seemed like a bad first date.

I mean, it was just really awkward

and hard to pull away from.

That's a great game, huh?

- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. - Mm. Yeah.

And then, he surprised me saying that

I was going to be paid simply for showing up.

He sends me the money.

- Thank you. Well... - All right.

And Carolyn and I go about our way.

- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.

We get into the car,

and we kind of just sit in silence for a while,

'cause we can't really believe that, like, that happened.

I can't really believe that happened.

I looked at her and I was like,

"What do you wanna do now?" And she was like,

"Oh, do you wanna go grab a drink?"

And I'm like, "That seems like the only decent thing

we can do right now."

So then, we just start drinking straight tequila.

I think that we did everything we could

to possibly just push it

to the back of our minds.

So, the bar was closing. I was like,

"You know, I don't think I really wanna go home."

I don't think I wanna go home.

So we go back to her house.

Believe we have a bottle of wine.

We just kind of, like, cuddled.

This new form of bond

now existed between me and Carolyn,

where I was like, "I think I love this girl."

Oh, yeah.

Holy crap. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah!

I've always found her to be attractive.

This really brought us together, 'cause, like, two peas in a pod.

Phil has one of the best personalities

that I've ever met.

I appreciate the fact that he has this boldness in him

and the capability to be bold.

I got one of the most important people

back in my life.

So, everything's good. I got money. I flew to Colorado.

When I finally landed in Denver, my friends picked me up.

We get some beers, we go to a brewery.

All I wanted to do was hear some music.

As we are headed to the venue,

we see that the show has been canceled.

A lawsuit filed against Bassnectar

claims that the electronic dance music DJ

sexually abused two women.

Ashton has called the claims untrue.

So, my heart dropped. I was so furious.

I flew across the country, I almost ate a toe.

I had a very traumatic experience

to get to this point.

The times were good, but I feel like

I can't support, um, something like that.

And that's when

I really started to kind of change my perspective

in what's really important.

Inside of me, there's two of me.

There's "Fuck It Phil" and "Responsible Phil."

And for much of my early twenties,

"Fuck It Phil" ran the show.

I'm happy that I've grown.

I don't get myself in these kind of situations

still to this day.

I would not do this today. I'd like to think I wouldn't.

He could have died.

We didn't have proper medical stuff there.

He could have bled out.

Now, I'm charged with, maybe, like, a manslaughter

because I wanted to go to a concert.

Who was I?

And what was going on with my head?

I don't think now I would ever do it.

But there are moments where I will post on Craigslist

looking to make a quick buck or two.

And I'll get a message saying...

"Hey, do you think you could help me

with my biggest fantasy?"

And I just know, based on the wording,

that it's Steve. And every now and then,

I'll respond back and being like,

"Hey, Steve, do you remember me?"

He goes, "Oh, yeah. Hey, how's it going?"

"Are you willing to give another try?"

I'm like, "Sorry, Steve,

I can't go back. I can't do this again."

Random question.

What if one day

I'm, like, trying to get a job and they're like,

"Aren't you that toe guy?"