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1
00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:03,471
EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS #028
"...the Buddy System"
CLOSED CAPTIONED
2
00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:04,372
CHRIS ROCK:
As class president,
3
00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:06,607
I thought things
would change for me,
4
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,709
but I couldn't
have been more wrong.
5
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:10,178
(clears throat)
6
00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:13,081
When you two are done,
see me in my office.
7
00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:14,415
Who are you?
8
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,417
Mr. Edwards.
New principal.
9
00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:27,561
You were fighting.
10
00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:29,263
Why?
11
00:00:29,297 --> 00:00:30,531
'Cause he hates
black people,
12
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:32,366
and I'm a
black person.
13
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,435
That's a lie.
I love Michael Jordan.
14
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,370
I think Gary Coleman
is hysterical.
15
00:00:36,404 --> 00:00:38,506
And don't even get me
started about Billy Ocean.
16
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:41,142
"Caribbean Queen."
17
00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:44,078
That's a very good song.
18
00:00:44,112 --> 00:00:45,846
See?
19
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,448
Just because you
watch Soul Train
20
00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:49,283
don't make you
Don Cornelius.
21
00:00:49,317 --> 00:00:51,119
Mr. Edwards,
he has been picking on me
22
00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:52,520
since the first day
I came to this school.
23
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:53,821
Is that true?
24
00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:56,190
Yeah.
25
00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:57,658
All right, Caruso, you can go.
26
00:00:59,427 --> 00:01:01,095
What?
27
00:01:01,129 --> 00:01:02,496
What?
28
00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:04,332
Before coming to Corleone,
29
00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:05,833
Principal Edwards
was on a self-imposed,
30
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,501
three-year vow of silence.
31
00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:11,505
Keep your filthy hands
off of my school lunch program!
32
00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:12,740
You get the hell out...!
(Edwards screaming)
33
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:14,208
Which he allegedly began
34
00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:16,177
two minutes after
cursing like a madman
35
00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:18,479
and knocking out the teeth
of his former boss.
36
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:21,549
Have you ever
considered the possibility
37
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,617
this is your fault?
38
00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:25,653
That's what they said
to Rodney King.
39
00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:26,854
My fault?
40
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:29,723
He's threatened by you, Chris.
41
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:33,694
Your very presence
makes him doubt
42
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:36,364
his ability
43
00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:37,665
to succeed.
44
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:40,334
He always succeeds
in punching me in the face.
45
00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:44,238
(laughs)
46
00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:48,409
He's using you as
a manifestation of his angst.
47
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:51,579
Subsequently, he's trying
to quell his anxiety
48
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:52,780
by conquering you,
49
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:56,317
thereby conquering his fear.
50
00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:58,519
By punching me in the face?
51
00:01:58,552 --> 00:01:59,720
Exactly.
52
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:02,756
So you want me
to just let him do it?
53
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:06,794
Have you thought about trying
to see things
54
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:09,263
from his point
of view?
55
00:02:09,297 --> 00:02:11,165
So you want me to punch him
in the face?
56
00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:13,234
No.
57
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,735
Have you ever
58
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:18,339
seen the film
The Defiant Ones?
59
00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:20,474
The Defiant Ones? No.
60
00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:21,809
What's that?
61
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:28,516
Two men are shackled together
62
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:30,351
while trying
to escape from prison--
63
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:35,256
one white, one black,
one educated, one...
64
00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:41,695
They learn they have to depend
on each other or perish.
65
00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:42,796
That's what I'm going
to do for you.
66
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:46,334
You're going to chain us
together and put us in jail?
67
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:48,902
Yeah! Figuratively.
68
00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:52,273
I'm taking some students
on a field trip tomorrow.
69
00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:53,874
You and Caruso are going
to come along.
70
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:55,676
Have your mother sign this.
71
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,811
To help you
and Caruso
72
00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,647
learn to depend on each other,
73
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,616
I'm going to employ
the buddy system.
74
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:03,617
The buddy system?
75
00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:09,723
Chris, you and Caruso
are going to be buddies.
76
00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:11,692
Just like the Crips
and the Bloods.
77
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:15,696
Captioning sponsored by
CBS PARAMOUNT
NETWORK TELEVISION
78
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,869
* Oh... make it funky now!
79
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:47,861
While I was preparing to see
Caruso in a whole new way,
80
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,763
Tonya was working
on a new look, too.
81
00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:51,765
Mom...
82
00:03:51,799 --> 00:03:52,900
can I borrow
your clip-on
83
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,902
hoop earrings?
No.
84
00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:55,969
But all my friends
are wearing
85
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:57,571
pink shirts
and hoop earrings.
86
00:03:57,605 --> 00:03:59,307
I'm not your
friends' mother.
87
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:01,375
I don't know, Mom.
Earrings may draw away
88
00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:02,676
attention from her
big, old head.
89
00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:03,811
You got a big head.
90
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:04,612
You're head-mo-knotty,
91
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:05,513
got more head than
you got body.
92
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,815
Your head so big, your
hat got two floors.
93
00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:11,018
Your head so big, you
got to put on your
shirts feet first.
94
00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:12,853
Your head so big,
it has a moon.
95
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:14,788
Eh, hey-- all right.
96
00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:16,056
Enough now.
97
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,958
Tonya, why don't you
wear your flower earrings?
98
00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:19,960
You're too young
for hoops, that's
women's jewelry.
99
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,429
And I'm not going
to have people
100
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:22,663
looking at my
daughter like that.
101
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,498
Like what?
Like this.
102
00:04:24,532 --> 00:04:26,534
(fast club music playing)
103
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:30,771
You see the earrings
on that girl?
104
00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:31,839
(laughing)
105
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,841
Everybody else has them.
106
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,909
Well, if everybody else
got a butt whooping,
107
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,345
would you want one, too?
108
00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:38,979
JULIUS:
Hey.
109
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:41,449
Where's Chris?
ROCHELLE:
He left early.
110
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,884
He had to go on
a field trip.
Hey, Dad.
111
00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:45,686
Check it out.
I got a hundred
112
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:47,321
on my spelling test.
All right.
113
00:04:47,355 --> 00:04:48,489
My man!
114
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:49,790
I was thinking...
115
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:52,493
Could I get a hockey
jersey since I got
116
00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:53,961
a hundred on my test?
You're supposed to get
117
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:56,096
a hundred, you don't get
a prize for doing well.
118
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,065
My father never
rewarded good behavior.
119
00:04:58,098 --> 00:04:59,733
Dad, I cleaned out the tub.
120
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:02,069
You're supposed to clean
the tub, it's your dirt ring.
121
00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:04,638
Hey, Dad. I fixed the heater.
122
00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:05,873
You're supposed
to fix the heater.
123
00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:07,641
You're the one
who likes it warm.
124
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,977
Hey, Dad, I slaughtered a pig.
125
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:13,013
You're supposed
to slaughter a pig.
126
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:14,815
You're the one that likes bacon.
127
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,784
Julius, it's just
a hockey jersey.
128
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,519
Mom, it's not just
a hockey jersey.
129
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:20,421
It's Wayne Gretzky.
130
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:22,856
He's the best player
in the league.
131
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:24,658
Gretzky, huh?
132
00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:25,826
I'll think about it.
133
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:28,962
Okay, time to go to school.
134
00:05:34,602 --> 00:05:36,136
ROCHELLE:
Tonya?
135
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,372
Coming.
136
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,642
Geez, Caruso?
137
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,976
Why didn't he just
kick you into traffic?
138
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:44,478
I don't know.
139
00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:46,146
But I'm going to give it a shot.
140
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,815
I mean, it can't get any worse.
141
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,783
That's what people said
while they were
142
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:51,519
boarding the Amistad.
So who's your buddy?
143
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:53,987
Hey, Greg, you ready?
144
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:56,390
Sure am.
I'll be right there.
145
00:05:57,425 --> 00:05:58,692
You got a girl?
146
00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:00,994
Not just a girl, but a
girl who's interested
147
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:02,830
in the evolution
of species.
148
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,031
I am so in there.
149
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,470
Come on, Bubbles.
150
00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:12,573
Right now, I'd feel safer
at the Neverland Ranch.
151
00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:14,842
* Risky. *
Hey, Julius.
152
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:15,909
You want some
tap shoes?
153
00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:16,944
Tap shoes?
154
00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:18,612
Yeah. I got men's.
155
00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:22,015
I got women's and
children's, huh?
156
00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:24,952
You get your whole
family some tap shoes.
157
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:27,655
My father always thought
if you wore tap shoes,
158
00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:28,756
you had to tap dance.
159
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,958
We're friends of
the deceased.
Oh, right this way.
160
00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:32,993
(shoes tapping)
161
00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:39,967
You can't make
no money tap dancing.
162
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,470
What I really need
is a hockey jersey for Drew.
163
00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:43,336
Wayne Gretzky.
164
00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:46,740
Hockey? What kind
of kids you raising?
165
00:06:46,774 --> 00:06:47,875
Do you have one
or not?
166
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,910
All right, all right.
167
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:51,479
Hockey, uh...
168
00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,614
I'm sorry, I-I don't
have anything,
169
00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:55,616
but if I find something,
I'll let you know.
170
00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:56,884
All right, brother.
171
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,952
All right. Okay.
Take care.
172
00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:02,456
Hockey? Them kids in trouble.
173
00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:04,592
My father was dealing
with the bad news
174
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,694
while my mother
was getting great news.
175
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:07,995
What?
176
00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:09,897
The guy I'm seeing
has kidney stones!
177
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,032
Vanessa, that's good news?
178
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:14,234
We got tickets
to see Patti LaBelle.
Uh-huh.
179
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,236
And he can't go!
180
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,738
Listening to Patti LaBelle
181
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,973
could make my mother feel good,
no matter what.
182
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,910
Come on, pepito.
183
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,879
I told you, man,
I didn't do it.
184
00:07:25,913 --> 00:07:29,182
¿Cual es tu último voluntad?
185
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:30,951
Can you play "New Attitude"?
186
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,920
Yes! Wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait.
187
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,655
I gotta figure out
what I'm gonna wear.
188
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,023
Me, too. Oh, girl,
I'll see you later.
189
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,157
Wh-wh-wh...
Ooh.
190
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,026
Wear that blue dress.
I like you in the blue dress.
191
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,628
Yeah, girl.
192
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,763
Patti. Patti. Patti.
193
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,966
* I'm in control,
my worries are few *
194
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:49,069
* Know where I'm going,
and I know what to do *
195
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:50,971
* Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh
196
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,172
* I've got a...
197
00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:55,008
Oww. * New attitude.
198
00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:58,979
EDWARDS:
All right, class, listen up.
199
00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:01,882
I reiterate: we are
on the buddy system today.
200
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:06,186
So, you are responsible
for your buddy.
201
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:09,723
No matter what happens,
stay together.
202
00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:11,224
We have about two hours,
203
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:13,561
so you have plenty of time
to see all the exhibits.
204
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:15,829
Is he kidding?
205
00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:18,065
You can come here
every weekend for years
206
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:19,900
and still barely
scratch the surface.
207
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:22,002
After 20 years,
Greg still hasn't
208
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,971
made it out
of the bone exhibit.
209
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:26,006
Now remember...
210
00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:29,309
...the only way you're
going to get along
211
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:32,212
with Caruso is if
you understand
212
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:34,682
why he hates you.
213
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:35,883
He needs your help.
214
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,751
But if I'm helping him,
who's gonna help me?
215
00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:41,955
You're helping yourself.
216
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,092
Spoken like a true white man.
217
00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:47,327
CHRIS:
Come on, man,
we've gotta go
218
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,762
before the bus
leaves us.
219
00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:50,097
Listen, Bohannon, relax.
220
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:51,999
The bus isn't going
to leave without us.
221
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,101
The whole class
is waiting on us.
222
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:55,869
I thought you people
were used to being late.
223
00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:57,738
Come on, man,
we've got to go.
224
00:08:57,771 --> 00:09:00,708
All you've been doing
since we got here is
complaining.
225
00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:03,143
Well, I haven't
really seen anything.
226
00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:04,812
All I've seen
is you eating
227
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:06,246
in the cafeteria
for over an hour.
228
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:07,848
All right, you know what?
229
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,650
I'm sorry. I'll just
be another minute.
230
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:12,085
Really?
Maybe Principal Edwards
was right.
231
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:14,054
Caruso might make a change.
232
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,923
Yeah, just do me
a favor, hold this.
233
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,293
Now, go wait
by the door.
Okay.
234
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,896
WOMAN (over radio):
Tim, do you need
cashier help or security?
235
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:27,668
The buddy system
was failing miserably,
236
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:30,337
but the black decoy
system was working great.
237
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:33,040
(woman on radio talks
indistinctly)
238
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,781
Usually Greg would've
noticed if I was gone,
239
00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:42,382
but if you put a girl
in front of him,
240
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,051
he didn't see anything else.
241
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,319
Hurry up, I want
to get on this bus.
242
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:48,355
Don't worry, I'm sure
they saved you a
spot in the back.
243
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,591
Which one's ours?
244
00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:55,162
(engine revs)
245
00:09:57,898 --> 00:09:58,999
I think it's that one.
246
00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:04,805
I think I should've been
buddies with the bus driver.
247
00:10:08,876 --> 00:10:10,744
CARUSO:
How come you didn't tell me
the bus was leaving?
248
00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:13,647
When I said "Let's hurry up
before the bus leaves us,"
249
00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:15,783
what bus did you think
I was talking about?
250
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:19,152
Sorry, I couldn't understand
all your crazy jive talk.
251
00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:22,055
Okay, we can catch
the next train,
252
00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:23,657
and we'll be back in no time.
253
00:10:23,691 --> 00:10:25,759
I spent all my
money on food.
254
00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:27,861
Okay, fine, I think
I have enough money
255
00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:29,863
to get two tokens.
So let's go.
256
00:10:29,897 --> 00:10:31,098
Who put you in charge?
257
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,033
I'm just trying to get
us back to school.
258
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:34,267
Just let me make
the decisions.
259
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:35,502
Why should I do that?
260
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:39,006
How many times do
I have to punch you
before you get a clue?
261
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:40,173
Don't you watch the movies?
262
00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:42,676
Gene Wilder made all the
decisions in Silver Streak.
263
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:44,111
Richard Pryor
just followed orders.
264
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,847
So... what do
you want to do?
265
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,216
Let's take the next train.
266
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:51,284
To get back to Brooklyn,
267
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:54,955
it felt like we went around
the entire city.
268
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:58,291
We went through Chinatown...
269
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:01,829
The meatpacking district...
270
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:04,031
We even went through
theatre district.
271
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:05,899
The only place
we didn't go through
272
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:06,967
was our school district.
273
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,903
While me and Caruso were lost,
274
00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:12,740
Tonya was trying
not to get found out.
275
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,887
Where are you going?
276
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,256
I'm going to see
Patti LaBelle.
277
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:32,860
How do I look?
278
00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:35,095
You look like one of those
ladies from those old movies.
279
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:36,329
Who asked you?
280
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,998
Well, I think
you look better
281
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,267
in the brown skirt,
the beige stripped shirt.
282
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:41,068
Brush your hair back
283
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:42,936
and put on
your gold hoop earrings.
284
00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:44,371
He's good.
285
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,339
Oh, and can I get some
potato chips before dinner?
286
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:47,274
Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead.
287
00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:07,027
Tonya knew she was
going to be caught.
288
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,996
Just didn't know when.
289
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:10,363
Did you take my earrings?
290
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:11,999
What earrings?
291
00:12:12,032 --> 00:12:14,367
Okay, here's how this
works, Tonya.
292
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:17,470
You can keep lying, or you can
tell me you took my earrings.
293
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:19,206
You decide.
294
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,208
You promise you won't yell?
295
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,276
I won't yell.
296
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:24,812
I took you earrings...
297
00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:26,780
and I lost one.
298
00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:31,251
(yelling):
Didn't I tell you not
to touch my earrings?!
299
00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:32,519
You promised you wouldn't yell.
300
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:34,154
I've been falling for that one
for years.
301
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:37,791
Do you know how valuable
those earrings were, Tonya?!
302
00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:39,292
Huh?!
303
00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:41,361
Whenever my mother was ready
to kill one of us,
304
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:43,964
she'd always count down
from five.
305
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:45,132
Five...
306
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:46,967
* Huh!
307
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,035
...four...
308
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:49,236
(yell)
309
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,403
...three...
310
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:51,304
(grunts)
311
00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:52,339
...two...
312
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:54,374
* Uh!
313
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:56,143
...one.
314
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:57,410
That's it.
315
00:12:57,444 --> 00:13:01,414
I'm going to let your
father handle this.
316
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,986
After taking a tour
of the city,
317
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:08,155
I decided it was time
to take charge.
318
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:09,322
Where are
you going?
319
00:13:09,356 --> 00:13:11,158
I'm going
to call my mother.
320
00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:13,426
I'm making the decisions
around here.
Not for me.
321
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:14,995
You can do whatever you feel
322
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,329
like doing,
but I'm calling my mother.
323
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:17,564
Well, give me a quarter,
too. I'll call my mom.
324
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:20,067
No. I only have
one quarter.
325
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,268
Ah, don't
worry about it.
326
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,470
I'll have my mother
call your mother.
327
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:25,472
(phone tinkles)
328
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:31,311
Mom. Yeah,
it's Joey.
329
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:34,281
All right, if the
school calls and
says I'm lost,
330
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,415
I'm not.
331
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:36,884
Nah, I'm okay.
332
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:38,418
I'm with Chris.
333
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:39,419
Yeah, the black one.
334
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:41,321
Strange realizing
335
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,423
that Caruso had a loving family
at home.
336
00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:45,425
A loving racist family.
337
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:46,459
All right.
Love you. Bye.
338
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:49,562
Hey, you were supposed
to tell her to call my mom.
339
00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:50,931
Forgot. Sorry.
340
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,165
Why don't you call collect?
341
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:53,867
That's what the guys
in prison do.
342
00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:56,236
Move!
343
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,475
(phone ringing)
344
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:03,911
Hello?
345
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:06,379
WOMAN:
I have a collect call from...
346
00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:08,848
Ooh! Ooh.
347
00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:14,354
My dad couldn't always
give us what we wanted,
348
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:16,389
but he would always
do his best.
349
00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:19,426
Hey, Dad.
I'm really proud of you for
getting 100 on that test,
350
00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:22,963
so here you go.
351
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,397
Yeah!
352
00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,233
(both laugh)
Wow.
353
00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:28,401
Huh?! What do you think?
354
00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:30,570
Drew thought
about saying this...
355
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:32,105
Gritsky?
356
00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:33,406
It's not Gritsky.
357
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,508
It's Gretzky with an "E"!
358
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,210
I scored 100
on my spelling test.
359
00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:38,245
I can't wear this!
360
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:40,680
You got that big old head,
and you can't even spell
361
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,182
Gretzky.
362
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:44,117
Maybe you should take
my spelling classes.
363
00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:45,185
I ain't wearing this.
364
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,554
But if he did,
here's what would've happened.
365
00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:48,388
What's the story?
366
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:49,622
Apparently,
the kid loves hockey.
367
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:52,659
Father brings home a jersey
that says Gritsky with an "I"
368
00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:54,394
instead of Gretzky with an "E."
369
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:55,695
Son mouths off,
dad loses it,
370
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,430
shoves the jersey
down the kid's throat.
371
00:14:57,464 --> 00:14:58,598
Is that the jersey?
372
00:14:58,631 --> 00:14:59,432
It's all we
could find.
373
00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:01,501
Good thing he didn't
ask for skates.
374
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:03,136
So?
375
00:15:03,170 --> 00:15:04,304
It's cool.
376
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:05,305
Thanks, Dad.
Oh.
377
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:08,175
The next year,
Drew got a Yankees jersey
378
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:10,010
that said Mezzie Mackson.
379
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:13,080
You better talk
to your daughter
before I kill her.
380
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:14,314
Why? What happened?
381
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,416
Go ask her.
382
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:19,686
All that could save Tonya
was a sad look.
383
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:26,559
What's going on?
384
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:29,496
Mom's really mad at me.
385
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:30,630
(sighs)
386
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,365
Tell me what happened.
387
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:35,502
I just wanted to wear
earrings like my friends,
388
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:37,537
so I took Mom's
gold hoops,
389
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:39,172
and I lost one.
390
00:15:39,206 --> 00:15:40,373
Oh, Tonya.
391
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:43,376
Do you think maybe I could
save up and buy another pair?
392
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:45,445
It's not about the money, Tonya.
393
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:47,580
I gave your mother
those earrings.
394
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:50,250
You can't replace them.
395
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,685
What are you going to do?
396
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:54,287
My father could've
spanked Tonya,
397
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:56,223
or grounded her
until she was grown,
398
00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:57,457
but he said something
399
00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:59,759
that made her feel worse
than all of that.
400
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,394
I'm really disappointed
in you.
401
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:06,466
Father, I have brought
disgrace to myself
402
00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:08,668
and to our family.
403
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,437
Tonya, no!
404
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:11,571
Leave me now, Father.
405
00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:12,672
I must whup myself
406
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:16,009
until you can find it
in your heart to forgive me.
407
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:21,581
I'm sorry.
408
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,150
Did you tell your mother that?
409
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:24,484
Will you come with me?
410
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:26,419
Did I take the earrings?
411
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,495
Good luck.
412
00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:40,433
Are you sure
we're on the right train?
413
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,102
You're in charge.
You tell me.
414
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:44,471
Look, nobody told you to wait
for me in the first place.
415
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,273
We're on the buddy
system, which means
416
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:48,341
I'm supposed
to stay with you
no matter what.
417
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:49,742
You think I
want to be here?
418
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:52,179
Shoot, if I had done
what I wanted to do,
419
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:53,513
you'd be sitting
here by yourself.
420
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:54,614
Well, go then.
421
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,716
Fine.
422
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:59,052
(indistinct male voice
over intercom)
423
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:08,228
So long, Caruso.
424
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:10,597
Enjoy talking civil rights
with your new friends.
425
00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:16,303
Even though Caruso had gotten
on my last nerve,
426
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:18,571
I was afraid
I might be his last chance.
427
00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:21,708
(indistinct male voice
over intercom)
428
00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:25,245
So, you take that
to Brooklyn Beach stop,
429
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:27,347
and you're right there,
all right?
430
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:28,648
Hey.
431
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:30,550
How'd you get
here before me?
432
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:31,818
I took the express train.
433
00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:33,320
This is the local train.
434
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:34,287
Hey, man,
435
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:36,456
why'd you leave your
boy out here like that?
436
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:37,624
We could've hurt him.
437
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:38,725
I came back to get him.
438
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,393
What you want
me to do?
439
00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:41,561
Nah.
440
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:42,529
Leave him alone.
441
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:45,298
If he gets hurt,
I think it effects my grade.
442
00:17:45,332 --> 00:17:48,468
Hey, man, in the
buddy system,
443
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:50,470
you never leave
your buddy.
444
00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:51,538
No matter what.
445
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,340
You understand?
446
00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:55,308
Yeah.
Good.
447
00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:56,543
Now give me your wallet.
448
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,111
I don't have any money in it.
449
00:17:58,145 --> 00:17:59,812
Did I ask you
all of that?
450
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:02,615
I guess this is what
Martin Luther King fought for--
451
00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:05,885
black and white bullies side
by side ready to kick my ass.
452
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:09,088
Hey... hold
on to that.
453
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,026
What now?
454
00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:16,763
Well, we switch platforms
and then head back downtown.
455
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:19,199
All right, let's go.
Oh, wait.
456
00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:20,600
So you really
came back for me?
457
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:21,601
Yeah. Why?
458
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:23,436
Because I would
have left you.
459
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,238
For real?
Yeah, man.
You're dumb.
460
00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:26,739
Those guys could
have killed you.
461
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,741
All right. All right,
you done?
462
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:29,909
Yeah.
463
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,879
Let's go home, Muddy.
464
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:35,648
Look, I don't know what
you have against me.
465
00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:37,584
Hey, I don't
even know you.
466
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,586
So, I was wondering maybe...
467
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,521
You know, maybe
we can be cool.
468
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:43,423
You don't even
have to like me.
469
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,292
Yeah, I know what you mean.
470
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:46,726
Tell you what.
What?
471
00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:49,462
If you can run faster
than I can throw,
472
00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:51,731
I won't hit you
with this battery.
473
00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:56,903
(yelling)
474
00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:59,339
* Why can't we be friends?
475
00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:00,807
* Why can't we be friends?
476
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,509
Hey, man, where
have you been?
477
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:04,177
We missed the bus.
478
00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:05,478
Was anyone looking for us?
479
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:06,446
No.
480
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,481
So, how are things going
with you and Jennifer?
481
00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:11,218
It was going great until
we got into a debate
482
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:13,686
about whether humans or climatic
change caused the demise
483
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,222
of the Pleistocene megafauna.
484
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:16,389
Idiot!
485
00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:18,791
* I really 'membered you,
when you drink my wine... *
486
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:19,959
It didn't
end well.
487
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,461
Same as Bobby and Whitney.
488
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:23,196
* Why can't we be friends?
489
00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:24,431
So how did it go?
490
00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:26,499
Huh?
491
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:27,634
Oh, the buddy system?
492
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,469
Oh, it was all right.
493
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,737
Really?
494
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,572
Even after I left
you at the museum.
495
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:34,641
* I seen you walkin' down
in Chinatown... *
Wait.
496
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,609
You left me and Caruso
alone on purpose?
497
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:39,279
* I called you but
you could not look around... *
498
00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:40,813
You can't do that.
I mean, we're kids.
499
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,215
Anything could've happened.
500
00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:44,751
I had my eyes on
you the whole time.
501
00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:45,752
What?
502
00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:46,886
That's right.
503
00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:49,789
From Chinatown through the
Bronx down through Harlem.
504
00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:51,424
Oh. Here's your wallet.
505
00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:53,960
* I bring my money
to the welfare line... *
506
00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:56,563
Okay, I-I really
don't understand.
507
00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:57,730
What was the point?
508
00:19:57,764 --> 00:19:59,699
Caruso still hates me.
509
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:00,867
What about you?
510
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:02,469
Did you learn
anything today?
511
00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:07,340
Well, I learned that
Caruso didn't like me yesterday,
512
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:08,875
he doesn't like me today,
513
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:11,278
and he's not going
to like me tomorrow.
514
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:12,712
Yes, all that's true.
515
00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:13,846
But you're forgetting
516
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,449
you learned something else
today much more important.
517
00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:17,617
What?
518
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:19,552
You learned that
I was wrong.
519
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:21,788
* Everybody hates Chris.
520
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:25,825
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