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Have you ever lived through a nightmare?

Well, I have.

Ever since the day this happened.

The sky went dark and we thought it was a tornado.

But then from the spinning funnel came cats.

Scratching, clawing, killing.

This was no ordinary tornado.

This was a catnado.

Thousands of wild, feral cats.

No one was safe.

A few of us were able to document the terror

with our phones.

So, please, watch our stories and then run and hide.

The catnado is coming for you too.

Hey, baby cakes, it won't let me take this--

book this Alaskan cruise.

It won't let me.

Something about catnadoes.

Due to the catnado events, all bookings

have been canceled temporarily, so I

don't know what to tell you.

It was going to be a heck of a vacation.

Catnado?

Really?

That's just like COVID.

It's all fake news.

They just don't want anybody to do anything with their lives

anymore.

That's all it is.

Yeah.

It doesn't change the fact, though.

I can't book this cool Alaskan cruise that we planned.

Kind of liked the Love Boat.

Would have been good.

You know what?

You're just a sorry-ass loser.

You can't even book a girl a decent vacation, a cruise.

I mean, seriously, what is wrong with you?

It's the booking agency.

They're losing money over this stuff.

It's got to be real.

Hello?

Yeah.

Oh, OK.

Yeah, sweet.

OK.

Hey, loser.

That was Kent.

He just got out of jail, and I'm going to go pick him up.

We are done.

Until Kent ends up back in jail again, we'll be together.

Fair weather friend.

Kent?

Well, you'll be back.

That guy's going to go right back into jail.

Whatever.

Where the fuck is she?

Well, well, I'm back.

Baby!

How are you doing, sugar tits?

Yay!

Oh, I've missed you so much.

I missed you.

So what have I missed since I've been on the inside here?

Well, wouldn't you like to find out?

Well, you know, I've got plenty of time on my hands

right now, so.

So tell me, how was it?

You know, you wouldn't believe the crazy shit

that you hear in prison.

I mean, like, get this shit, OK.

There's a guy that actually said that a shark killed

his girlfriend in the corps.

I think I heard about that, actually.

Was that in Kentucky?

You know, I honestly think he's batshit crazy,

but, you know, I don't know.

Man, like I said, there's all kinds of, you know,

weird shit you hear on the inside, so.

So you've really got to stop getting yourself in trouble

and stop robbing, like, these liquor stores, gas stations,

whatever you're doing.

You've got to stop that.

I can't just put my life on hold waiting on you

to get out of prison again.

Like, oh my gosh.

Well, I might have a solution for that, and hear me out.

So one of my fellow constituents in the slammer

there was copulating with one of the other inmates there.

Uh-huh.

And--

I'm catching that.

Yeah, and so as they were going at it,

the other inmate was screaming something about money.

So, naturally, I had to listen in on the conversation.

And he started screaming Something

about his mother in Versailles had apparently

never trusted banks.

So she just I guess, kept all her money in a mattress.

I at first thought it was kind of silly,

and then I come to find out that, yeah, it actually is true,

and I think that we probably may have

a large sum of cash on our hands if you

want to get a little dirty.

OK, but how are we going to get to Versailles?

You have no money.

I have no money.

How are we going to get there?

You mean to tell me you don't have $10 to get to Versailles?

I don't have $10.

Are you kidding?

Are you kidding me right now?

No, I mean, I guess I could pawn the ring.

I mean, I don't know.

I mean, it's an investment, though.

I mean, you selling your--

OK, how much--

stage jewellery.

OK, how much money are we talking?

About. $1.3 million from what I got.

$1.3 million?

Are you serious right now?

$1.3 million.

I mean, around about figure, yeah.

Do you know what.

I could-- I mean we could do with $1.3 million?

Holy shit.

I mean, seriously, we could buy a house with a big, like, garage

and a big basement and a swimming pool and maybe

that new Mercedes.

Oh my god, this is going to be so awesome.

I mean, I was thinking more along the lines of a boob job,

but--

What's wrong with my boob?

I mean--

My gosh, you're such a douche.

So how are we going to get the money to get to Versailles?

You know what, I've got that handle.

Leave it to me.

We'll get the money.

Let's head out.

You've got to trust me on this.

It's a great post-Halloween day

out today, folks, but be careful out there.

Those catnadoes can pop up anywhere unexpectedly

at any place and any time, and they're catastrophes.

Pardon the pun.

Can you believe that catnado stuff?

The hell?

I mean, do you believe everything

you hear on the damn radio?

No, but, I mean--

You're about as smart as your look.

And why did I pick you up from jail?

Because I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you.

Not unless you get me some money.

Then we'll talk about it.

What do you think I'm working on?

I think I just found our ticket to get to Versailles.

Yeah, I was at the pet store today doing the donations

and adopting of cats today.

We got $800.

Yeah, I'm on my way to the bank right now.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, we also got cat food and cat litter.

Uh-huh.

OK, yeah.

Well, I'll talk to you later.

I'm on my way to the bank.

Well, look what we got here.

I'll take this.

Hey!

Hey!

Give me that back!

Yeah, I'm in the park.

Use this.

Jesus, there's cats everywhere.

You see this?

Yeah.

Oh my god.

Well, I guess here goes nothing.

Stand back.

Did you hear something?

No.

What the heck is that?

It sounds like one of those weather alert things.

I wonder if it's one of those catnado tornadoes touching

down somewhere.

That sounds preposterous.

The news said catnado.

Wait.

What the hell is that?

I've got to check this out.

Baby, get up.

Are you OK?

Get up.

Come on.

You've got to get up.

Oh, god.

I feel like I've been hit by a truck.

Come on.

We've got to get the money.

Are you OK?

Dammit, woman, do I look OK?

God, I guess that catnado thing was real.

Well, you've got to get up so we can go get this money.

We've got to get up.

We've got to go get this money.

We've got to get the money.

I'll be taking this back.

Who's a good boy?

Yes, you got those mean people, and we got our money back.

Oh, you're such a good kitty.

es, you are.

It's a great post-Halloween day

out today, folks, but be careful out there.

Those catnadoes can pop up anywhere unexpectedly

at any place and any time.

They're catastrophes.

Pardon the pun.

I wonder if it's one of those catnado tornadoes touching

down somewhere.

That sounds preposterous.

There was a warning catnado.

Oh, my god.

There was these cats.

I was having a peaceful day.

It was like the perfect day, the most perfect day of my life,

and all of a sudden, there was a--

no one knew there was going to be a tornado,

and, oh, god, it was horrible.

It was horrible.

I went outside and there was these cats.

You wouldn't believe me, sir.

I mean, it was like-- it was like my watch, man.

Like my watch.

There was cats spinning.

Like, there was a cat.

It freaking hit me in the face, man.

Almost knocked me out.

And there was cats just spinning around this tornado.

You wouldn't believe it.

And they were like--

And this-- oh, god, it was horrible.

It was just-- oh my god.

I mean, everyone thinks-- oh my god, it was horrible.

It was horrible.

I mean, there's so many cats.

And then another cat hit, me and it hit my leg

and then, oh, god, I think there was five cats that hit me,

or maybe seven.

I lost count.

And it was just-- oh, god, it was terrifying.

And it just- they went-- they just--

I don't know.

Like, my neighbor has so many cats.

I think they have like, I don't know-- like, almost all

my neighbors have cats.

I don't have cats.

I'm allergic to them.

But, like, all the cats are outside.

Like, no one knew a tornado was coming.

It was a peaceful day, and then boom, boom, boom.

And the rain started coming down,

and I shouldn't have even gone outside.

I mean, I went outside just to have my cup of tea

like I always have my cup of tea to just relax,

you know, and then just boom, it just turned into-- like hell

just broke loose, and the cat, oh, god,

you wouldn't believe it.

No one would believe it, but this cat--

oh, god, so many cats.

They were like--

It was so scary.

You wouldn't believe how terrifying it was.

All right.

Storm party.

Yeah, more beer.

What are you looking for?

Whatever I hit.

Yeah, I'm right here.

Not you, prick.

Whatever left the blood all over my truck.

So, wait, you hit me and something else?

No, I hit something else, then I hit you.

Man, you know what, that's just fucking great.

There's a tornado coming.

You know what, why don't you watch your fucking mouth when

you talk to me or I'll get that goddamn hammer out of my truck

and bash your fucking head in.

Yeah, you wish.

Actually, you know what I wish.

I fucking wish you would.

You know I will.

Goddammit.

Fucking towers are down.

What is that?

Ew.

That's gross.

Shit.

Son of a bitch.

What did I just say?

Shut up, Mal.

Watch your fucking-- you know what, you call me Mal again,

I'll fucking bury you.

Listen, Mal--

What the fuck did I tell you?

I'm going to choke the goddamn life out of you.

Would you listen?

What the fuck is that?

I have no idea.

It isn't a tornado.

Are those?

Those are cats.

Holy shit.

It's a--

Uh, uh, uh.

Don't say it.

Don't you dare say catnado.

Oh my god!

Oh my god, are you OK?

I think he's going to be fine, but, look,

we can't stay here.

I need your help.

What do you mean he's going to be fine?

He's going to die!

Get him out.

I'm not going anywhere with you!

He needs help!

Lady, there is a tornado

full of cats heading for us.

I need you to help me now.

A what?

A catnado.

Oh my god!

OK, OK.

What am I doing?

Still no service.

There's not much here.

I found some sheets and an old shitty diaper.

There's barely any food.

It's better than being outside with all those crazy-ass cats,

eh?

I guess.

I'd rather be at home drinking beer.

Well, just get, Brandon!

You just mosey your ass on back to your house!

Because you know what, you being in here, being out there,

I'm only slightly apathetic.

Dammit, Mal.

Don't dammit Mal me.

I should kick your goddamn teeth in.

You're lucky I don't gut you and feed you

to those crazy-ass fucking cats for bait

while Sonya and I run-- get the fuck out of here!

Tanya.

Fucking whatever!

Listen to me.

You listen to me!

The only reason you're breathing is because I promised Nancy.

Keep her name out of your mouth.

Stop!

Stop!

You're going to kill him!

Good!

It's what he deserves!

What the fuck?

What?

He killed my son!

I didn't.

I didn't.

You gave him the fucking keys!

I didn't.

You knew he was stoned and you gave him the fucking keys

and he died!

I didn't.

I didn't give him the keys.

You gave him the fucking keys.

You knew he was stoned and you gave him the keys

and he fucking died.

I didn't give him the keys.

Bullshit!

I didn't!

Nancy did.

The hell you say.

It's the truth.

It's true.

I wasn't even there.

She was mad and he wanted to leave, and I--

she tossed him the keys, and that's just how it happened.

You're a fucking liar.

You shut the-- just shut the fuck up.

Why do you think she killed herself, Mal?

You shut your mouth!

Don't you ever talk about my wife that way.

Your wife?

My sister!

And my nephew.

It's hard enough, and she couldn't handle it.

She blamed herself.

She sent me a letter.

I got it a few days after she--

Where?

She couldn't.

Where's the letter?

Where?

It's at the house.

It's at the house.

I have it.

I can show you.

I didn't want to tell you.

I wanted you to think it was me.

I didn't want you to blame her or to hate her

more than you already did.

I can show you the letter.

Son of a bitch!

How?

There must be a fucking window broken.

Well, what do we do now?

You guys get.

Fucking hell.

He did it.

He did.

Oh my god.

We've got to go.

Is it over?

I think so.

Man, I hate cats.

Me too.

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide

in the shadow and the Almighty."

Psalms 91:1.

"Each will be like a refuge from the wind and a shelter from

the storm, like streams of water in a dry county,

like the shade of a huge rock in a parched land."

Isaiah 32:2.

"And the Lord will also be a stronghold for the oppressed,

a stronghold in the times of trouble."

Psalms 9:9.

"The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer.

My god, my rock in whom I shall take refuge.

My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."

Psalms 18:2

God, I hate the bad weather.

I hate the bad weather.

Just so nerve wracking.

I hate it.

I hate it every time it comes.

"There will be a shelter to give shade from the heat by day

and refuge and protection from the storm and the rain."

Isaiah 4:6 "If we have food and covering,

with these we shall be content."

1 Timothy 6:8.

"I cried out to you, O Lord.

I said, you are my refuge, my portion in the land

of the living."

Psalms 142:5.

"Trust in him at all times, O people.

Pour out your heart before him.

God is a refuge for you.

Selah."

Psalms 62:8 "The prudent sees the evil and hides himself,

but the naive goes on and are punished for it."

Proverbs 22:3.

Who's that?

Who's up there?

Who is it?

Oh, Jesus, do you think you can get that light out

of my eyes?

What are you doing shining that light right in my eyes?

How did you get in here?

What are you doing here?

Look at this place.

It's filthy.

You have cobwebs coming from the ceiling.

I don't know who takes care of this place,

but it isn't taken care of good enough.

Let me tell you something, if this was my storm shelter,

it would be spotless.

Who are you?

What are you doing here?

What are you reading?

Is it a book?

Is it a good book?

I love books.

I love to scratch them up and tear them up

into a little bed, Raymond.

And let me tell you, I'm going to shred your book into my bed,

and then I'm going to be comfortable.

You think you can keep us out?

You think you can keep us out?

We're already in here with you.

We're up on your shelf.

You see me up there.

You see me, you see me, you see me, and I am fluffy.

I'm the fluff of death, and I have come for you.

I have come for you.

I know your name.

I know your name.

That's right, Raymond.

I know your name.

I don't know who you are.

I have come for you, Raymond, and there's nothing you can do.

There's nothing you or your god can do, Raymond.

Don't say that.

God will protect me from this storm.

Nothing you say is going to make a difference.

He will protect me.

Do you think there are big canned foods or something?

Cat's got to eat, and you don't have nothing, Ray.

You don't have nothing.

Come on, where is your food?

I need some food.

Don't you have dinner in here, Raymond?

I need some tuna.

Are you even here right now?

Are you even in here with me?

Are you?

I am in here.

I am in here because you have been bad, Raymond.

You have not been faithful.

You have not been walking in the ways,

walking in the light, Raymond.

You have fallen.

You are like a baby.

You are a child, Raymond.

You are in your crib.

You are confined.

You cannot go anywhere.

You are shaking your little arms.

You are shaking your little legs.

And you know what, nobody can hear you.

Yes, you are a child, Raymond.

And you know what?

When you are a child, you walk like a child,

you talk like a child.

You are a child, Raymond.

Yes, you are a child.

I'm a man.

I'm a man.

I'm not a child.

I'm not a child.

I don't remember when I'm a child.

You're in my head.

Get out of my head.

Get out of my head.

Your storm window will not protect you.

Shouldn't be inside.

It should be outside.

It shouldn't be inside.

It should be outside because that's what's in this storm.

Do you hear them, Raymond?

Do you hear them scratching against your window?

Your storm window would you say will protect you?

I do not think so.

Usually when they say it's raining cats and dogs,

they don't really mean it's raining cats and--

storm!

These creatures are evil.

They're from the underworld, and they're here.

They're here for me and they're here--

they're here to judge me and to judge my faith.

But let me tell you something, you are not

coming through that window.

It is a storm window.

It is fortified.

I think they are going to scratch, scratch, scratch

and come right in, Raymond.

I think they are going to break through your barricades

and they are going to be in here.

Shut up.

Shut up.

Shut up.

No!

You're not going to make--

You're not going to make--

You're not!

I can't make it.

It's going to be a long night with this tornado,

or I shouldn't say tornado.

I should say catnado.

The catnado is coming for you, Raymond.

It's coming for you, and it's going to get you.

It's going to get you, Raymond.

I can sing for you.

I can sing to make you happy.

I can make you happy.

My country, 'tis of thee

Sweet land of liberty

To thee I sing

And where my fathers died

Land of the pilgrim's pride

From every mountainside

Let freedom ring

Angry.

There's nowhere to cook.

And the weather outside is frightful,

but the fire would be delightful if you had a damn fire, Ray.

If you had a fire, it would be nice.

But then again, you'd probably go boom,

because we are in a room and there's propane.

If you light the fire, there's a boom.

Got to stay here where it's safe.

You're not here.

You're not here.

You aren't really here.

Get out of my head.

Get out of my head!

Get out of my head!

There's no cats in here.

There's no cats in here.

See, there's nothing.

There's no cats in here.

Get out of my head.

You get out of here.

"Thou hast put all things under his feet, all sheep and oxen,

ye, and the beasts of the field and the fowl of the air

and the fish of the sea and whatever passeth

through the paths of the Lord.

O Lord, O Lord, how excellent is your name in all the Earth."

Do you hear that, cat?

Psalm 8 says I'm in charge here, not you.

Because God put-- you're not in charge.

Not in charge.

I'm in charge.

You're not in charge.

It's me.

It's me who's in charge, not you.

Not you.

No, you weren't supposed to get in here!

You were supposed to protect me!

No!

Cats, they are God's little creatures.

They can bring a person so much joy and happiness.

They can be truly wonderful, but they can also be little killers.

Monsters from hell, some may call them.

These shitheads go about their nine lives

plotting, scheming, waiting for that one day to attack.

Ladies and gentlemen, that day has come,

and now we're all fucked.

I've seen things, horrible things.

That dang pussy plague.

The year is 2021.

The world's gone to pot.

The cat virus swept across the nation,

destroying pussies left and right.

A vaccine was created to help.

Or so we thought.

1 million dead cats from the pussy plague.

2021 is a terrible year in many ways.

Thank god for the vaccine.

The Government

is investing billions to study cats,

to not only see how we can keep them safe,

but also how they can keep us safe.

Maybe they hold the cure to cancer or--

Like the Egyptians,

we worship them and praise their powers.

Join us at the Church of the Cat this Saturday.

Only vaccinated cats allowed.

People have lost their dang minds.

Cat people.

They're the worst.

That's why I'm a dog person.

Whoa.

Hey there, McGeorge.

Let's get down.

No, no, no, no.

Just leave him alone.

It's OK.

It's OK.

He can sit on you.

There, there.

See, you're doing a good job.

Have you ever thought about maybe getting

into one of those programs?

I think they could alleviate your fears completely.

Have you seen them around?

They came to my house yesterday.

They're freaky.

Hey, I guess they just like pussy more than you do.

True, true.

I think there's a storm coming.

Let's hit the shower.

Where is old McGeorge?

Oliver, what is it with you, man?

Every time we mention McGeorge, you get all weird.

I'm sorry, Jerry.

I'm embarrassed to say this, but the entirety of my adult life,

I've had a fear.

Fear of cats.

A fear of cats?

Ailuraphobia.

You know about it?

I studied it in college for a semester.

I know it well.

It's a lot more normal than you think, and easy to get rid of.

I've tried.

Oliver, I'm an expert.

I'll help you.

There's nothing to be ashamed of.

Oliver, what a great friend.

It's going to be all right.

Guys, I'm reporting from a storm shelter.

What I'm about to tell you, you may not believe,

but you have to.

Today in Nashville, we had a--

I'm going to make up a new word here, Jim,

but it may be part of our daily lives from now on.

There is a catnado.

Yes, a catnado.

Is this a joke?

- A - tornado made up of cats.

Turn the channel.

Turn that crap off.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm serious.

We must have seen 400 people die.

They got shredded by the claws and teeth of these monsters.

We're getting reports from all over the world

that the vaccine is the cause.

It's having a scary adverse effect, making them frenzied

and grouping up together.

Let's go to our reporters in communist China.

This is crazy.

This must be a nightmare.

My worst fear coming true.

Jerry, did you get McGeorge a vaccine?

Dear lord, yesterday.

Dammit!

I'm sorry.

What do we do?

All right, we have to remain calm.

That person must be wrong.

It's too crazy to be real.

It's here.

The catnado.

No, no, no, no.

It's McGeorge.

Mcgeorgio.

He wouldn't hurt a fly.

It's time for him to eat.

We have to let him in.

Just open the door.

No.

Please.

I'm scared.

The first step in being a pussy is being afraid of them.

Open the door.

God!

Get it off!

Get it off!

Get off!

Get it off!

Get it off!

Get it off!

Get it off!

I'm sorry.

McGeorge.

What the hell is happening?

McGeorge.

You could have died because of me.

Because I was too afraid.

You saved my life.

Thanks.

Don't worry about it.

Maybe someday you can return the favor.

That day was when the world changed.

Every day it got worse.

The vaccine made millions of killing machines and hundreds

of catnadoes.

Those pussy twisters were global.

The sound of 1,000 meows.

But those dang supportive cat groups just got bigger.

Even people in the government were

trying to help protect them.

But we improvised.

Our government split and we fought back.

We joined the fight in the new civil war.

We were the Dead Pussy Society.

We are the DPS.

Your country needs you.

We want you.

The first task, eliminate them before they took to the air.

We drove around looking for pussy.

Killed plenty, that's for sure.

Even burned down the few remaining pet shelters.

Got a trophy for that one.

Traitor.

Am I the only one left?

It's so hard to live in a world all alone, every day in fear.

When is it a good time to call it quits?

Maybe one day.

Chapter 3.

Killing cats was easy with guns, but guns

didn't help against catnadoes.

This is the house, dude.

They've got some, I know it.

Is that them over there?

Looks like the kid just left them laying out there.

The ultimate weapon is to stop catnadoes.

Once we have some, they're not going to be able to stop us.

I knew it!

I knew they had some!

I can't believe they didn't sell them on the black market.

I can't believe it.

These are the first ones we've seen in months.

I don't see anyone.

Let's get them.

What are you doing with my water guns?

Jerry, you don't have to do it.

You're right.

I don't want to.

I have to.

Now, let's save humanity.

Time got tough, living got tougher, and dying got simpler.

Many people got good at that, unfortunately.

People moved to the coast and near the lakes.

Wasn't enough space and the water dried out quick.

We had no other choice but to become catnado chasers.

We started at the Tornado Alley Cat, looking for any survivors.

This is where it all went wrong.

Really wrong.

This has got to be the biggest one yet.

There have to be a million of them.

A cat five pussy twister.

No, no.

You got this.

You got this.

Your whole life's been prepping you for this moment,

and it's to prove to yourself what I already know,

that you're tough, strong, brave.

The bravest man I know.

OK, let's do this.

No longer will it have power over me.

There you go.

If we kill it, we can save humanity.

Let's save the world.

We're going to tear those pussies up.

You and me, buddy.

It's raining hair balls.

Damn.

Let's park here.

Let's draw it to the trap.

All the other groups got close, but failed.

A pond full of Drano should kill it easily.

We're the last hope.

I see it.

Let's go.

No.

No, no, no!

We've got to go.

There's no hope.

We blew it!

Hey, you got this.

We got this Follow me.

You shoot, I'll drive.

Engine won't start!

Shoot them off of us.

It's getting closer.

Keep shooting!

It's a cat five all right.

It's getting closer.

We're getting pussy whipped!

What?

Go.

Jump.

I'll lead it away.

I'm not leaving you.

It's the only way you can survive.

Thank you for everything.

I owe you.

You saved my life.

Now I save yours.

I'll wait for you.

What the heck?

I'm in here!

I'm in here!

I'm in here!

I'm in here!

I'm in here!

No, it can't be!

No, it can't be.

Oliver, please, no.

Those damn pussies.

Told you we're all fucked.

Hey, so you must be the lady that saw the catnapper.

Yeah.

He took my cat Fluffy.

Fluffy.

This is a cat-astrophe can you tell us what he looked like.

Anything.

Give us something.

He was wearing some kind of weird mask.

A mask.

The purr-fect crime.

Anything else that you want to let us know about this guy.

Maybe like a fur coat like a cat.

Mask.

Fur coat.

It has to be fur-strating.

Will you cut it out?

You see how she's acting right now.

Come on!

I'm just trying to make the situation a little more

powerful, that's it.

They're stealing all the cats!

This has to be a cat-spiracy.

Come on, man.

You've got to get it together.

This is a serious crime here.

Come on.

Take your job serious!

This coming from you?

Really?

Let's go!

Yeah, come on, man.

Over a cat?

It's a crime.

Crime is a crime.

Snatching cats.

Hey, what's that, Boots?

Hey.

Yo, dude.

What's that?

You say you don't trust the government?

It's OK, man.

I wasn't going to do that anyway.

Hey, yeah, I'll get you out of there.

Come here.

Yeah, I'll rescue you.

You're going to be OK, man.

How are you going to rescue him?

Hey, hey, calm down!

Man.

Settle down!

We're trying to help you get the cat.

We're trying to help you rescue the cat.

Yes, we're trying to find the cat too.

Hey, yeah, I don't trust the cops.

Hey, man, we're just trying to help you, man.

I can't get you justice now.

Calm down.

Hey, but hold on, man.

No need for all that.

No need.

Hey, hey, boss.

I know you ain't eaten in a day.

Yeah, yeah.

Come on, man.

No, I haven't.

All right, all right, all right.

So help us out.

What do you know?

Yeah, OK.

Yeah.

I'll help you.

Look, I was looking for a place to sleep the other night,

and there was this guy.

He was coming out and--

He had this mask on, right?

A mask?

Yeah, he's wearing furs and--

Fur?

There was the cat screaming.

Gosh.

Cat?

Yes, I hear the cat screaming.

Do you hear the cat screaming?

I hear it in my dreams.

It's--

I don't hear the cats, but we believe you.

Yeah.

We're going to help you find him.

OK.

Yeah.

We're going to help you.

You're going to be all right.

You're going to be all right.

You're going to-- you're going to find Boots?

Man.

You're going to find the cats?

We're going to find--

You're going to find all of them.

We're going to help you find the cats.

Yeah.

Calm down now.

We've got this.

We got it.

We're going to help him find the cats and bring them home.

We'll find the cats.

We're going to bring them home.

Yeah.

We're going to bring them home.

We got you, dog.

We're going to bring them home for you.

Let's find these cats and bring them home.

Go get you something to eat, Doc.

Come on.

Go, go.

Go get him something to eat.

We've got to find those cats.

Fluffy, would you like to be in that tornado?

One catnado coming up.

Freeze!

Drop the bag!

Simmonds!

Simmonds, you all right?

Yeah.

It looks like it went right through.

I'm good.

Did you get him?

Yeah, I got him.

He had a gun.

Let's see who's under this mask.

Go reveal it.

Wow.

She looks familiar.

She do.

Don't we know her?

I don't know.

We've got to check that out.

This is a cat burglar.

Don't make sense.

It just don't make sense.

How are we looking for her and she.

Don't make sense.

Cat-spiracy.

What's that over there?

We've got some bad weather rolling in.

Yeah, I see.

Wait, look.

Way in the cloud.

It looks like some cats.

Wow.

A catnado.

Wow.

Of all the-- a catnado?

That's crazy.

I'll be glad to get home.

Me too.

It's been a long trip.

True that.

It's been fun, though.

Still can't believe you won all that money.

Listen, you know what they say.

It's all about how you play the game.

Yeah, you schooled them.

What was that?

I don't know.

It felt like we hit something.

Up here?

Maybe it was an air pocket.

Whatever it was just scared the heck out of me.

Yeah, me too.

Sure is beautiful tonight.

Yeah.

Full moon.

Perfect night too for flying.

I don't believe it.

What?

You left a cup of Windex on the hood.

Oh, yeah.

Forgot about that.

What was that?

I don't know.

It looked like an arm.

An arm?

I don't know.

Like something-- Oh my god.

What?

We are in big trouble.

What?

What?

Catnado.

What?

It's a leftover from that catnado.

One of those sky flying gremlin cats must be--

On top of the plane.

No, no, no.

It was a bird.

It's a bird.

It's a bird.

At 10,000 feet?

It's a bird.

It's a bird.

Are you serious?

At 10,000 feet?

OK, it's not a bird!

What are we going to do?

We have to get him off the wing of the plane.

Quick, grab that cat toy in the back.

Where is it?

OK.

What now?

Try to open your window and get its attention with the toy.

Here, kitty, kitty.

Here, kitty.

The heinous hairball stole the toy.

Cats steal toys, you know.

That was my toy.

He must have lost the toy.

He's trying to get the air freshener.

Great.

What do we do now, Dr. Doolittle?

We have to stop him from breaking the windshield.

How?

What do we do?

Quick, grab that Catser magazine in the back.

OK.

What did you just show that cat?

An ad.

An ad for what?

For neutering?

What?

That pissed off pussy's going to kill us.

I panicked.

What do we do now?

Take control of the--

take control of the plane.

I have an idea.

I can't fly.

I barely passed my mono test.

Just maintain its course.

Can you do that?

I've got an idea.

Hello, God, it's me, Mark.

This should do it.

This should do it.

I don't ask for much.

This should do it.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

How are you doing over there?

It's working.

He's taking the treats.

I'm so glad.

Yeah, yeah.

There you go.

Eat it, kitty.

There you go.

You OK?

Everything OK?

Just listen.

I don't hear anything.

Exactly.

How did you do it?

That was drug catnip I used on my own kitty.

Hello.

I am queen of the galaxy, and tonight I

will read you the story of the eighth astro space hero.

It's a tale of heroes, evil forces,

and a cosmic force called the catnado.

Attend me, Vespa.

Come to me,

I beseech thee, Dark Lord.

What is the bidding of the razor darkness?

I crave the blood of the eighth astro space hero.

The flood of when they banished me

from spacetime.

I seek revenge.

Give me the means, Dark Lord.

It is now complete.

I have the power of the cosmic catnado.

You will know the dark power of Bill Pines.

I enjoy the screams of death and destruction.

It tickles my naughty side.

Corso, dread has come to the Galaxy.

Vespa has raised dark energy with Bill Pines.

She has used the catnado from Earth and made it galactic.

Bill Pines has returned to the galaxy?

He's still mad that you captured him

with the help of Maria, the queen of the unicorns.

Bill Pines keeps tossing bad vibes on Twin Flames.

You may well call him Bad Kung Fu Pines.

Every spell he has is discounted beer and stinky

cheese of the soul.

Of course we'll stop the cat of Vespa.

Vespa, she's beautiful, but deadly.

That girl has more curves than a paperback,

and every one is a page turner.

Vespa will face the eighth astro space hero.

Pitiful life forms.

You will know the dark power of Bill Pines.

I enjoy the screams of death and destruction.

It tickles my naughty side.

Vespa is attacking the galaxy with the evil catnado ray.

What can we do about the curvy alien warrior queen?

Oh, that Vespa.

Very, very hot.

Very cool.

She'd do things to me.

She can touch me.

She can hurt me.

She can-- wait, wait.

Wrong.

Bad woman.

Bad thing.

Vespa very bad woman.

Who can stop Vespa?

I am Vespa, queen of the galaxy.

I shall rule the galaxy.

All hail the cosmic power of the cosmic catnado.

All right, Vespa.

We will stop your evil from Planet Bailey.

No.

Astro space hero, one of the nine will be first to fall.

Feel the storm of destructive power of the cosmic catnado.

Hugo, full power in reverse!

We must avoid catnado, the storm made out of evil cat souls.

Hugo, reverse the engines!

We must avoid catnado, the evil, dark storm of cat souls

from hell.

Hugo, turn the energy drives into the purple zone.

We have no choice.

We must reverse polarity.

No.

Very well, astro space hero, I am defeated for now.

But rest assured, the Dark Lord Bill Pines will strike you,

and I will be his dagger.

Got you Vespa.

Whenever there's evil, like the catnado, the storm upon storm's

created of evil cat souls, there'll

always be a place for the hero, astro space hero.

The evil catnado has been stopped!

Cats are here to be pampered, not to eat planets and galaxies.

Vespa and her curves have left the galaxy.

She'd do things to me.

She can touch me.

She can hurt me.

She can-- wait, wait.

Will the evil return?

Great work, Corso.

So you and the Jolly Roger have saved the galaxy once again.

Now you can watch over the galaxy with the magic

of the unicorns with you.

All we need is '80s synth pop and peanut butter cookies

to make it sweeter.

And that, my lovely children is

the story of the cosmic catnado and how it was

stopped by astro space hero.

Get some sleep, for tomorrow I'll

tell you the story of how Maria, the queen of the unicorns,

and astro space hero stopped the supernova dragon.

Good night.