Original subtitles

[music continues]

[music continues]

[dramatic music]

[phone ringing]

(female on voicemail) I can't come to the phone right now. Leave your name and--

[phone ringing]

Hello.

T.J., Michael. T.J., I'm in big trouble.

What? The joke I gave you bombed?

- T.J., they're after me. - Michael, relax.

Give me ten minutes. I'll see you at the club.

I'm not at Bonkerz. I'll be dead in ten minutes.

I'm at...Tenthon Hill.

Michael?

(T.J. on phone) Michael? Michael?

[dramatic music]

[music continues]

So, Mr. Funnyman, thinking of doing some more moonlighting?

The only moonlighting I'm doing is

is working at your club, Mr. Dexter.

You've got it all wrong.

No, college boy. I got it right.

You bought yourself a one-way ticket to the fast lane.

What's that?

It's something that'll help you go bye-bye.

[dramatic music]

Michael?

Hey, hey, Michael.

Great place for a coffee break here.

[intense music]

Michael?

[all applauding]

How about that for a start for this evening, folks?

He's got a real laugh or not, huh?

Big dude, a real big dude, I'm telling you.

Don't quite your day job.

I used to date a girl that was at the..

[all applauding]

Angel...you never heard of public relations?

There's not much I ain't heard of, Dexter.

Maybe, you've never heard of this.

A smile won't crack your face.

That way you won't scare away the customers.

[upbeat music]

The police will handle this.

You should tell them about the club.

Michael was my friend.

I'm gonna find out what happened to him.

Paramedics said it was his heart.

But that was last night.

This afternoon the police pathologist said

"Drugs induced the heart attack."

This is nuts.

Maybe, but we're after information.

You be the straight man. I'll be the comedian.

Okay.

So, you don't mind if I call Lieutenant Harris?

Just in case he needs a little advice from an expert.

Clark, we're investigative reporters, aren't we?

I don't ever wanna be standing in the way of common sense.

[indistinct announcement]

Be right back.

[upbeat music]

Hey, there. Table?

Yes, for a friend and a scared to death contestant.

Come on.

[indistinct chatter]

I just did. I didn't know.

[laughing]

Well, stand up and give it to 'em.

Thanks a lot, Angel.

Michael told me you were an angel.

- You knew Michael? - Yeah, we were classmates.

That's too bad. He was a nice kid.

Yeah, everybody liked him.

Never made an enemy his whole life that I knew of.

- Do you know of anyone? - No, no.

Somebody tell you you're anything more than a waitress?

I don't take orders from anybody but you, Dexter.

Okay, then just clean up the tables, fill up the glasses.

No need to hang out with some college boy.

Who does that creep think he is?

Just stay out of it, okay? I mean, for your own sake.

It can be life threatening.

That's what I said, Lana. We're at Bonkerz.

You must be kidding.

I knew you were gonna say that.

Look, it's amateur night, and T.J. is a contestant.

T.J.? Oh, I would not miss this for the world.

- I'm on my way. - Okay.

Can you do me a favor?

Call Lt. Harris and have him send a patrol car

down to the club.

Sure, no problem.

I'll see you there. Bye.

[dramatic music]

[intense music]

Ah, that's a nice car. Who, who owns that?

You've got a long nose, pal.

- I was thinking, it's like-- - What're you doing back here?

I've got a van parked somewhere.

You don't see van one parked in this lot.

Now..

[dramatic music]

You're up next, kid.

You wanna prepare yourself, there's a spot

behind that curtain.

[indistinct chatter]

(male #1) Enjoying yourself? Have a good time.

O-oh, hang on to your patience for another few minutes.

We'll be right back.

I've already got a yata-yata-yata.

Really lucky I never had acne.

Never had facial hair. Just give and take in every situation.

Red light..

[intense music]

Red light you're seeing..

(T.J.) You always pretend that..

So, I'll have one of my boys transfer

what's outside in your car.

No. We don't wanna transport it.

Deliver that when you deliver the rest of it.

Okay.

I understand you had a problem with your boy last night.

No boy of mine.

A college kid and part-time comic

had dreams of going into business for himself.

So we put him to sleep.

Permanently.

Hey, you!

I guess, uh, can't read this line.

He was listening at the door.

Don't you recognize a comic rehearsing his routine here?

And now, in a few moments the fantastic new talent

Mr. T.J. White.

He was listening.

Guess you don't like my jokes, huh?

You'll be on stage in a few minutes, kid.

You better be funny.

Make sure he meets his commitment.

Now, folks, coming up next

the fresh new talent, Mr. T.J. White.

(male #1) He's hot, he's funny, he's hilarious.

That college boy you were talking to..

...yeah, T.J. White.

Seems kind of nervous backstage.

So, I want you to bring him a coke, and load it with this.

All of it.

What, are you crazy, Dexter?

That stuff packs twice the wallop of PCP.

He won't live long enough to put the glass down.

You'll do it.

Or I'll sting you like very very much.

And that can kill you too.

Please, Dexter. Please don't make me do it.

Please.

Alright. T.J., the audience is ready. Are you ready?

- Yeah! - Are you ready?

Alright, this guy is funny.

He's funnier than that tie you're wearing.

We're gonna bring him out.

- Here, this might help. - Thanks, Angel.

Guy that came in with me, tell him something, okay.

Tell him that..

[people laughing]

(male #1) Here's the big moment.

Now, how about a nice round of applause

for my man, Mr. T.J. White.

Come on, give it up.

Hi, everyone.

(all) Hi.

It's great to be here. I feel very lucky.

Actually, I'm a very lucky person in general.

I...I never had facial hair or acne.

[intense music]

Hey, I like your shirt, guy.

That brings to mind, cheap oil paintings.

[music continues]

And black light.

No reason to get upset. We're in a comedy club, right?

Aren't we lucky?

(Michael) T.J., I'm in big trouble.

Well, here we all are.

And the bad. Ugly, I mean ugly.

(Michael) T.J., they're after me.

I'll be dead in ten minutes.

What are you staring at?

(Angel) Just stay out of it, okay?

Beam me up, Scotty. Beam me up.

Uh, jokes, jokes. We need some comedy.

Tell some jokes here. Got to be funny.

I got my jokes here. Ha ha. Jokes.

A refrigerator. Think about a refrigerator.

I, I have guacamole and it's green now.

And..

[blabbering]

How come the college boy isn't taking his final bow?

I don't know, Dexter.

Gave it to him just like you told me.

Just what I thought.

Don't be mad. I'll make it up to you.

Not this time, sweets.

Put here in the storeroom. I'll take care of her later.

[intense music]

Nurse. Nurse, nurse, nurse!

(Michael) I'll be dead in ten minutes.

(Angel) It can be life threatening, life threatening.

And you have a familiar face.

Aren't you here to save my act?

(Dexter) So we put him to sleep...permanently.

Oh, take my life, please.

(Michael) T.J., they're after me.

(Dexter) Permanently, permanently.

[screaming]

Come on, T.J., I'm gonna get you out of here.

Man in the mirror. I saw the man.

Don't try to talk. Don't talk.

[heart beating]

I saw the man and the two and everything.

Gotta get you to a hospital.

Since you're so curious, college boy, I'll show you.

Show you the whole operation.

After you.

[dramatic music]

Take a good look, college boy.

It's the last thing you'll ever see.

Now, put him in a chair.

So, that's how you did it to Michael?

Wicked stuff.

Two minutes after contact with the skin

it's absorbed into the blood stream.

Too bad, T.J.

We'll never know what you could've done up there.

Alright, move them.

[alarm ringing]

[dramatic music]

[ringing continues]

- Are you alright? - I think so.

- T.J., T.J., I'm so sorry. - He'll be alright.

I checked him out earlier.

I need you to take him out front and wait for me.

[dramatic music]

Please, please, everyone, there's no need to panic.

The fire has been contained.

Hey.

[saxophone music]

Run him down!

T.J., look out!

[dramatic music]

Ah, why did I do that?

[siren blaring]

You'll find all the evidence you need in the trunk, officer.

T.J., T.J. You okay?

[upbeat music]

Clark didn't tell me why he couldn't be here tonight.

But you know how Clark is sometimes.

- I wish Angel were here. - I know.

She's on the way back.

In a couple of weeks you can visit her at the rehab clinic.

Yeah.

Now, go out there and break a leg.

[all applauding]

I'd like to introduce to you one of the newer upstart here.

Please put your hand together for my man, Mr. T.J. White.

Thank you, man.

Hi, everybody. I'm really luck to be here at Bonkerz tonight.

In fact, I'm lucky to be anywhere, any night.

You are looking at a young man who has been land mined

trash compacted, dropped off a 20 storied building

sniper attacked, hurricane abused

mowed over by a limo, drugged and beat unconscious.

And I'm not complaining or anything, but I am learning.

[all applauding]

["Adventures of Superman" theme by Leon Klatzkin]

Captioned by Grant Brown