Original subtitles

[CAMERA CLICKING]

WELCOME, PLANETARY CONVERSION TEAM.

WELCOME TO BLORCH,

THE LATEST ADDITION TO THE IRKEN EMPIRE

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, THE FIRST PLANET TO FALL VICTIM

TO OUR LATEST EFFORT AT UNIVERSAL CONQUEST,

OPERATION IMPENDING DOOM II!

[CROWD CHEERS]

ALMIGHTY TALLEST ROCKS!

NOW WE ERASE THE REMAINING ORGANICS ON BLORCH,

PAVING THE WAY FOR, I DUNNO,

MAYBE A PARKING STRUCTURE PLANET.

YEAH! PARKING STRUCTURE PLANET!

[CROWD CHEERS]

BUT FIRST, WE'D LIKE TO ACKNOWLEDGE

THE CONTRIBUTION OF ONE VERY SPECIAL SOLDIER,

WITHOUT WHOM THIS VICTORY AND THOSE SURELY TO COME

WOULDN'T BE POSSIBLE.

INVADER ZIM!

[CROWD CHEERS]

YOU SEE IF ZIM HADN'T BEEN EXILED

TO THE FAR REACHES OF THE GALAXY,

HE WOULD BE HERE, WITH US... RUINING EVERYTHING.

AND WE ALL REMEMBER HOW HE MESSED UP

OPERATION IMPENDING DOOM 1, AM I RIGHT?

Voice: I DON'T!

SEIZE THAT GUY AND, UH...THROW HIM OUT THE AIRLOCK.

Voice: AHHHH!

THAT WAS THE WRONG GUY, BUT...THAT'S OK.

I THINK EVERYONE GETS THE POINT, HMM?

SO LET'S GIVE A BIG CHEER FOR INVADER ZIM

FOR BEING SO FAR AWAY!

[CHEERING]

One Irken: INVADER ZIM ROCKS!

[ALARM SOUND]

QUIET EVERYBODY, QUIET. HA HA HA.

WE HAVE A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU.

IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GETTING A REPORT FROM ZIM RIGHT NOW.

TRANSFER IT TO THE MAIN VIEW SCREEN!

[CROWD CHEERING]

WELL, THANK YOU.

HOW VERY WELL DESERVED OF ME.

INVADER ZIM REPORTING IN, SIRS.

YES, GREETINGS, ZIM.

KEEPING BUSY, IT LOOKS LIKE.

DOING US PROUD.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

YES, YES, I AM.

I'M IN A BEAR SUIT.

[CROWD CHEERS]

PLEASE! ENOUGH!

FOLLOWING INVADER PROTOCOL, I'VE SENT PROBES

OUT TO THE SURROUNDING PLANETS

TO CHECK THEM FOR POTENTIAL USE.

UH HUH.

SCANS FROM A PLANET NAMED...MARS ARE INTRIGUING.

YOU CAN EXPECT A FULL REPORT

WHEN I HAVE MORE INFORMATION.

THANK YOU, INVADER ZIM.

WITHOUT YOUR EFFORTS OUT THERE,

[SUPPRESSING LAUGHTER] THE ENTIRE OPERATION WOULD SURELY CRUMBLE.

HA HA HA!

YES. YES, IT WOULD.

LET'S HEAR IT FOR ZIM!

[CROWD CHEERS]

IDIOT.

TRULY, I AM AMAZING.

HOW COULD THEY NOT CHEER THE VERY SIGHT OF MY PROGRESS.

STILL, I AM BECOMING IMPATIENT

WITH MY INCREDIBLY SUBTLE INFILTRATION OF THIS PLANET

AND AM GROWING EVER HUNGRIER TO BE

THE DESTRUCTION OF THE HUMANS.

DESTRUCTION IS NICE!

Computer: LONG RANGE SPACE PROBES HAVE RETURNED.

EXCELLENT TIMING. BEGIN DATA DOWNLOAD.

Computer: ACCESSING DATA FROM MARS PROBES.

SOME OF THIS LANDSCAPE LOOKS UNNATURAL,

AS THOUGH NATURE WAS NOT INVOLVED IN ITS FORMATION.

BUT THE SENSORS SHOW NO LIFE FORMS.

WHATEVER WIPED OUT THESE "MARS-OIDS"

MUST HAVE TRULY BEEN INCREDIBLE.

INCREDIBLE ENOUGH, MAYBE, TO ASSIST IN

MY ANNIHILATION OF THE HUMANS?

GIR!

GIR! GIR!

MEET ME IN THE LAUNCH HANGAR!

I GOTTA GO, PIG. I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

I GOTTA GO, PIG! I'LL SEE YOU LATER!

WE'RE GOING TO MARS!

Gir: ARE WE THERE YET?

THE CAMERA STATIONS HAVE BEEN THERE FOR YEARS, AGENT DARKBOOTIE,

BUT WHEN THEY DIDN'T FIND ANY LIFE AFTER THE FIRST WEEK,

NASA PLACE GAVE UP ON THEM, BUT I HAVEN'T.

LOOK WHAT I'VE FOUND.

THIS IS WHAT ONE OF THE CAMERA STATIONS LOOKS LIKE.

THIS ONE WAS TAKEN A COUPLE OF NIGHTS AGO.

LOOK UP HERE.

NASA PLACE SAYS THIS IS A THUMBPRINT.

THAT IS NO THUMBPRINT.

HMM. YOU'VE DONE WELL, AGENT MOTHMAN.

BUT THE SWOLLEN EYEBALL NEEDS CONCLUSIVE EVIDENCE

BEFORE FILING ANYTHING AS CONFIRMED ALIEN ACTIVITY.

LET ME KNOW IF YOU FIND MORE.

DARKBOOTIE OUT.

GET OFF MY HEAD, GIR.

I HAVE A GOOD FEELING ABOUT THIS LEAD.

I CAN ALMOST TASTE THE HUMANS BEING DESTROYED.

IT'S DELICIOUS!

THIS MARS HOLDS THE KEY, I JUST KNOW IT.

NEW WORDS OF PRAISE WILL HAVE TO BE INVENTED

JUST SO THEY CAN PR-- GET OFF MY HEAD!!

THE TASTE OF IMPENDING HUMAN ANNIHILATION

GROWS STRONGER IN MY AMAZING HEAD.

[SMACKS LIPS]

[ALSO SMACKS LIPS]

NOW, LET'S FIND OUT WHAT DESTROYED THE PEOPLE

WHO BUILT THIS UGLY THING.

OOHHHH. IT'S BROKEN.

DAD, AS A MAN OF SCIENCE,

YOU AT LEAST HAVE TO ADMIT THAT THIS PICTURE

SHOWS SOMETHING... FREAKY

AND OF SOME SPOOKY ALIEN ORIGIN.

I'LL SAY IT AGAIN. THOSE STATIONS HAVEN'T BEEN MONITORED

FOR ONE SIMPLE REASON: THERE ARE NO ALIENS!

NONE ABLE TO TRAVEL THE MASSIVE DISTANCE TO OUR PLANET, ANYHOW.

YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING THOSE TRANSMISSIONS

SINCE YOU WERE A BABY WITH AN ENORMOUS HEAD.

IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON, SON.

REAL SCIENCE. TRY IT.

[GIR'S SQUEAL]

WHAT WAS THAT?

IT'S FIXED! OH, YEAH. OOH!

GIR! COME HERE!

OH, MAAAAN!

THIS IS POINTLESS, GIR.

THIS PLANET'S A ROCK, A USELESS WASTELAND.

WHOEVER THEY WERE, THEY LEFT NO SIGN OF WHAT WIPED THEM OUT.

THEY JUST LEFT THESE STUPID STRUCTURES HERE TO TAUNT ME. I HATE THEM!

AND I HOPE THEY D--

HUH. OH, YEAH.

I CAN SEE UP ITS NOSE.

THIS MEANS MORE TIME ON EARTH

WITH THE STENCH OF HUMANITY.

FILTHY HUMANS!

[RINGING SOUND]

WHAT IS THAT SOUND?

GIR!

UGH!

DAD! GAZ! COME SEE THIS!

PLEASE! NO MORE FOOLISHNESS, SON!

Gaz: YOUR VOICE IS STUPID!

EEEAAAHH!

WELCOME, PILOT.

HOW YA DOIN'?

WHO ARE YOU? WHAT IS ALL THIS?

I AM ALL THAT IS LEFT OF MY PEOPLE,

AN INTERACTIVE INSTRUCTION MANUAL

FOR THE INCREDIBLE VESSEL YOU ARE NOW HELMING.

YOUR PEOPLE WERE INSTRUCTION MANUALS?

NO, NO. HUH?

VESSEL? THIS THING'S A SHIP?

MY PEOPLE WORKED THEMSELVES INTO EXTINCTION

CONVERTING OUR PLANET INTO A NAVIGABLE SPACE VESSEL,

USING SIMILAR TECHNOLOGY TESTED AND PROVEN ON ANOTHER, NEARBY PLANET.

WHAT OTHER PLANET?

THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW.

ANOTHER PLANET?

WHY WOULD YOU DO ALL THAT?

BECAUSE IT'S COOL.

MM-HMM.

[GIR SQUEALS]

THE INVADER BEHIND THIS IMPORTANT FIRST VICTORY IS...

UH...

[WHISPERING]

INVADER...SKOODGE?

[WHISPERING]

THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT.

THAT CANNOT BE THE POSTER BOY FOR IRKEN GALACTIC CONQUEST.

HE'S SO...SHORT.

AND UGLY. I MEAN, LOOK AT HIM.

GREETINGS, MY TALLEST.

AS THE INVADER RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS PLANET'S DOWNFALL,

I GET TO LAUNCH THE TRADITIONAL FINAL CANNON SWEEP, RIGHT?

UM...YEAH. UH...

SO THAT NO IRKEN BOOT HAS TO COME INTO CONTACT

WITH ANY UNSAVORY ALIEN FILTH. HOO-AH!

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. UM, WELL...

THERE'S A NEW TRADITION NOW.

MAN, YOU'RE UGLY!

AND SHORT!

THE NEW TRADITION IS THAT YOU GET TO BE LAUNCHED

AS PART OF THE CANNON SWEEP.

THAT'S RIGHT, IN YOU GO.

COMMENCE ORGANIC SWEEP!

AAAHH!

UH...YOU!

YOUR NAME IS NOW SKOODGE, CONQUEROR OF BLORCH.

[LAUGHING] REMEMBER...REMEMBER THE TIME ZIM CALLED US

AND HE WAS...

HE WAS COVERED FROM HEAD TO FOOT IN MEAT?

YEAH! THE MEAT ENDED UP FUSING TO HIS FLESH

AND HE ALMOST WENT BLIND WHEN IT INVADED HIS EYE SOCKETS!

HA HA HA! MEAT.

[BOTH LAUGH]

[BEEPING SOUND]

OH, IT'S HIM, IT'S HIM. HOLD ON. SHH--SHH. STRAIGHT FACE.

[BOTH LAUGH UNCONTROLLABLY]

GREETINGS, TALLEST.

I BRING MORE EVIDENCE OF MY UNBELIEVABLE SKILLS.

[CONTAINING LAUGHTER] MORE EVIDENCE?

YES. I'VE MADE AN EXCITING DISCOVERY.

THE PLANET MARS IS ACTUALLY A GIANT SPACE SHIP

BUILT BY FLOATING HEADS.

I'M GOING TO FLY IT TO EARTH

WHERE I WILL ROLL IT AROUND ON THE SURFACE,

SQUISHING ALL THE EARTH LIFE

AND LEAVING IT FREE FOR US TO CONQUER WITHOUT RESISTANCE!

PREPARE THE FLEET, FOR I WILL BE FIRING THE FIRST VOLLEY

IN EARTH'S ORGANIC SWEEP TOMORROW!

INVADER ZIM SIGNING OFF.

[LAUGHING]

I HAVE TO STOP HIM!

WHERE ARE YOU GOING AT THIS HOUR?

OH...YOU KNOW.

Puppet: TO SAVE THE EARTH?

YES.

MY POOR, INSANE SON.

...THE END OF THE WORLD!...

WAS THAT THE UH...

MM-HMM.

...CRAZY UFO KID?

YUP.

OH, NO. DIB.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY,

BUT YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME THIS TIME.

MARS IS A GIANT SPACE SHIP

AND IT'S BEING PILOTED BY AN ALIEN...

IS THIS THAT...ZIG YOU ALWAYS TALK ABOUT?

ZIM!

HE'S ACTIVATED THE FACE ON MARS,

AND NOW HE'S FLYING THE WHOLE PLANET LIKE SOME HORRIBLE...WOW!

THIS SOUNDS REALLY STUPID, DOESN'T IT?

ANYHOW, THE FLOATING HEAD SAID THAT THERE WAS ANOTHER PLANET

AND THAT THEY'D MODIFIED IT WITH GIANT ENGINES.

WE HAVE TO FIND OUT WHICH ONE.

ALL RIGHT, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

HE'S FLYING...

WHAT'S HE FLYING?

THERE! LOOK! YOU CAN SEE HIM ON THE MARTIAN CAMERA FEEDS!

SORRY, KID.

SINCE THEY CUT THE FUNDING,

WE'RE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO LOOK AT THOSE MONITORS.

WHOA!

IT'S...[SHUDDERS]

I THINK IT'S AN ASTEROID!

IT'S HUGE!

IT'S HEADED STRAIGHT FOR US!

IT'S ZIM! JUST LOOK AT THE SCREENS!

OK. DO WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE WHOLE FUNDING THING AGAIN?

Zim: HA HA HA HA HA!

PEOPLE OF EARTH!

PREPARE TO TASTE THE MIGHTY FOOT OF MY PLANET!

HE HA HA HA HA HA!...

Red: I'M ZIM. I'M SQUISHING OUT ALL LIFE.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

OH, STOP!

WHUH?

I BELIEVE YOU. I THINK I CAN HELP YOU.

WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO? CLEAN ME?

THE OTHER PLANET YOU MENTIONED,

THE ONE YOU SAID WAS ALSO FITTED WITH THE GIANT ENGINES,

IT CAN ONLY BE MERCURY.

THERE.

THE BUTT ON MERCURY.

A LESSER KNOWN STRUCTURE THAN THE FACE ON MARS,

BUT ONE JUST AS MYSTERIOUS.

YES. THAT'S IT!

NOW, HOW DO I GET TO THE BUTT?

WHAT IS IT?

IT'S AN OLD MONKEY SHIP FROM BACK IN THE DAYS

WHEN THEY USED TO SHOOT MONKEYS INTO SPACE.

[SNIFFING]

AH! YOU CAN STILL SMELL THE MONKEY.

DOES IT STILL WORK?

I'VE DONE ALL THE REPAIRS MYSELF.

WHY WOULD YOU HELP ME?

NOBODY EVER HELPS ME!

LET'S JUST SAY MY EYES ARE SWOLLEN.

AGENT...DARKBOOTIE?

[GIR HUMMING]

THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG!

I TOLD THE TALLEST TO BRING THE FLEET TOMORROW!

AT THIS RATE, WE WON'T BE DONE WITH OUR DESTROYING BY THEN!

THERE MUST BE SOME BOOSTERS.

AH, HERE. HOLD ON TO SOMETHING, GIR!

EH HA HA HA HA!...

Gir: AAAHHH!

[GIR LAUGHS ALSO]

[DIB SCREAMS]

THAT SOUNDED LIKE... NO. COULDN'T BE.

[ZIM AND GIR CONTINUE LAUGHING]

AAHH!

WE'RE ALL DOOMED! DOOOOOOMED!

[EARTH PEOPLE OOH AND AH]

HEY! WE'RE ALL DOOMED, REMEMBER?

[SCREAMING]

[LAUGHING]

NOW...SLOWING TO SQUISHING SPEED.

WAAAAHHH!

AAAHHHH!

WAAAAAHHH!...

Soda holder: OH, NO! OH, NO!

OH, OH, NO!

NO, NO, NO!

NO, NO, NO!

WHA-HA!

[CHILD CRIES]

[SODA HOLDER CONTINUES TO SCREAM]

[CHILD CRIES AGAIN]

[ZIM SCREAMS]

Dib: NOT WHILE I'M AROUND, ZIM!

DON'T TELL ME YOU ACTUALLY THOUGHT YOU'D WIN THIS.

OH, YOU HORRIBLE, INTERFERING DIB!

TASTE THE MIGHTY DOOM OF MY MOONS.

YAAAAAHHH!

YOU SHOULDN'T INTERFERE WITH A SUPERIOR FORCE, DIB.

YOU'D HAVE BEEN BETTER OFF JUST STAYING ON YOUR PLANET

AND GETTING SQUISHED JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.

WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BOTHERED COMING TO EARTH,

BECAUSE I'LL STOP YOU AT EVERY TURN!

AAAHHH!

GIR, GO TAKE CARE OF THE EARTHBOY.

WHAT'S THIS DO? WHAT'S THAT DO?...

NO! AAEEE!

[GIR CONTINUES JABBERING]

MAYBE THAT LITTLE ROBOT ISN'T SUCH A BAD EVIL MINION AFTER ALL.

WHAT'S IT DO? WHAT'S IT DO?

HEY, GO AWAY.

OKEEDOKEE!

LET'S SEE IF YOU HAVE THE PILOTING SKILLS

TO MANEUVER THROUGH THE ASTEROID BELT, FEEBLE DIB-THING?

Y-HEH HEH HEH HEH!

THAT'S JUST STUPID.

LOOK AT THAT COWARDLY HUMAN.

WE'LL SEE WHO'S STUPID WHEN--AAAHHHHHH!

AAHH! AAHHH!...

UGH! AH! OH! OOH! OOH!

YOU MIGHT AS WELL HEAD BACK TO YOUR HOME PLANET, ZIM.

I'VE RECORDED THIS WHOLE THING.

IRREFUTABLE PROOF OF YOUR EXISTENCE.

THERE'S NO WAY YOU CAN...

THAT LITTLE ROBOT! HE TOOK MY CAMERAS!

[BEEPING SOUND]

IT'S ZIM. ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?

I JUST STARTED BREATHING AGAIN FROM THE LAST ONE.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, MY TALLEST.

I HAVE RID THIS SOLAR SYSTEM OF PLANET MARS.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE TRYING TO DESTROY THE EARTH.

OH, YES...THAT.

YOU HEARD WRONG.

THIS TIME, I WAS TRYING TO GET RID OF MARS.

YOU KNOW, JUST A LITTLE WARM-UP BEFORE I DESTROYED THE HUMANS.

YEAH. SEE, I'LL DO EARTH NEXT.

I'M AN UNSTOPPABLE DEATH MACHINE, YOU KNOW.

WELL, INVADER ZIM, SIGNING OFF!

[LAUGHING]

UNSTOPPABLE DEATH MACHINE!

DID HE SAY UNSTOPPABLE DEATH MACHINE?

JUST A LITTLE WARM-UP!

OH, PLEASE! DID HE SAY UNSTOPPABLE DEATH MACHINE?!

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

I'M IN A BEAR SUIT.