Original subtitles

[OINK OINK]

STUPID BLOOD PIG.

[GAZ GRUNTING]

COME ON,

BIGFOOT WOULD NEVER SAY THAT.

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO READ THAT IN HERE?

I'M TRYING TO PLAY A GAME.

MYSTERIOUS MYSTERIES IS ON IN 5 MINUTES.

TV announcer: THE VAMPIRE PIGGIES ARE BACK!

AND THIS TIME THEY'RE BACK

BY THE AWESOME POWER OF THE GAME SLAVE 2.

CHECK OUT THESE ACTUAL GAME SCREENS.

ARE YOU STILL PLAYING YOUR OLD,

OBSOLETE GAME SLAVE 1?

WHY? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

HAVE WE OFFENDED YOU SOMEHOW?

HUH? HUH? HUH?

ON SALE MIDNIGHT TONIGHT

AT ALL DIGITAL FUNPIT LOCATIONS.

LINES ARE FORMING NOW!

OH.

WAIT.

WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

TO THE MALL.

GAME SLAVE 2 GOES ON SALE AT MIDNIGHT.

I NEED ONE.

OH, OK, THEN. HAVE FUN.

JUST ONE THING--

TAKE YOUR BROTHER WITH YOU.

IT CAN BE DANGEROUS OUT THERE.

THAT'S WHAT THE BAT'S FOR.

AWW!

I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL NIGHT TO SEE THIS.

SHE CAN WAIT TO GET HER STUPID GAME.

SON, VIDEO GAMES DEVELOP HAND/EYE COORDINATION

AND MAKE KIDS INTO BETTER HUMAN BEINGS.

OK, BUT ONLY AFTER THE SHOW IS OVER.

YOU STINK.

[GROWLS]

IT WAS A REALLY GOOD EPISODE.

[GROWLS]

AAH!

HEY, DIB. I THINK I SAW

A CHUPACABRA OR SOMETHING

GOING INTO THAT PARKING GARAGE.

A CHUPACABRA?

BUT THERE ISN'T A GOAT TO FEED ON FOR MILES.

[HEART BEATING]

HEY, IS THIS THE LINE FOR THE GS2?

YES.

COOL!

AS PROBABLY THE BEST GAMER IN THE CITY,

I HAD TO GET THE JAPANESE GS2 A FEW MONTHS AGO.

BUT I NEEDED THIS VERSION

BECAUSE THEY INCLUDED

A NEW LEVEL FOR THE AMERICAN RELEASE:

THE ZOMBIE HOG LEVEL.

MY NAME'S IGGINS. WHAT'S YOURS?

GAZ.

THAT'S A FUNNY NAME.

[GRUNTS]

AAH!

YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THE NEW PIGGY HUNTER.

Man: OK, GUYS,

NO LOITERING AFTER YOU GET YOUR GAME SLAVE 2s.

AS SOON AS YOU MAKE YOUR PURCHASE,

ONE OF OUR CLERKS WILL ASSIST

IN ATTACHING YOU TO THIS PULLEY CABLE

THAT LEADS TO THE EXIT.

HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE.

HEE?

[WHINING]

THERE'S NO CHUPACABRAS IN HERE.

GAZ SHOULD LEAVE THE PARANORMAL SIGHTINGS

TO THE EXPERTS.

NOW, WHERE'S THE EXIT?

MAN, THIS PLACE IS BIGGER THAN I THOUGHT.

...COMPLETED MORE MINIQUESTS

THAN ARE EVEN IN THE GAME!

THAT'S HOW I KNOW I'M PRETTY MUCH

THE MASTER OF ALL REALITY

AND ALL THAT ENCOMPASSES IT.

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW...

...AND THEN, ALL OF A SUDDEN,

EVERYONE IS CLAPPING WHEN I BEAT THE FINAL BOSS.

YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD BE SO EASY,

BUT IT WAS-- IT WAS TOTALLY EASY.

IT WAS, LIKE, COMPLETELY EASY...

...BUT I'VE ALWAYS REMAINED TRUE TO MYSELF.

YOU KNOW, I'VE JUST GOT TO BE IGGINS,

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

NO.

OH, THANK YOU, SUPREME BEING.

THANK YOU.

NEXT!

[BOY SCREAMS]

FINALLY.

Man: UM...

THAT'S ALL.

WE SHOULD BE GETTING MORE GS2s IN STOCK

IN MAYBE A MONTH OR TWO.

THANKS FOR COMING!

WHAT?

NO!

THEY CAN'T ALL BE GONE.

I SAT THROUGH MYSTERIOUS MYSTERIES

FOR THIS?

Gaz: THERE MUST BE ONE LEFT.

WELL, SOMEONE ORDERED ONE BUT NEVER PICKED IT UP.

IF...

[GRUNTING]

CLARENCE WONG DOESN'T SHOW UP,

IT'S YOURS.

CLARENCE WONG!

HA HA! THAT'S ME!

[GIGGLING]

YOU'RE NO CLARENCE WONG.

YOU STOLE MY GAME SLAVE.

YOU SAID, "YOU GOT TO BE IGGINS."

I SAW AN OPENING, AND I WENT FOR IT.

THAT'S HOW I BEAT GACHOOGABLORK

IN BATTLE BATTLE FOOTY KICK,

AND THAT'S WHY I'M THE SUPERIOR GAMER.

[SINGING]

Gaz: THAT ONE IS RIGHTFULLY MINE.

I'LL BUY IT FROM YOU,

BUT THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE KEEPING IT.

NOT WITHOUT INVOKING MY WRATH, ANYHOW.

YOU KNOW, YOU NEED HELP.

AAH!

HELLO?

[HISSING]

Dib: A COLONY OF HORRIBLE RAT PEOPLE!

HEY, DO YOU KNOW THE WAY OUT OF HERE?

THERE IS NO WAY OUT.

WE ALL GOT LOST HERE, TOO,

AND WE'VE BEEN HERE EVER SINCE.

EVER SINCE.

NO WAY OUT.

THERE'S NO WAY OUT!

OH, COME ON.

GETTING LOST IN A PARKING GARAGE

DID NOT TURN YOU ALL INTO HORRIBLE RAT PEOPLE.

I WAS ONCE A MAN.

BUT YOU'RE A WOMAN.

YOU'LL BE JUST LIKE US, SOON.

I DON'T THINK SO.

I THINK I SEE THE EXIT OVER THERE.

SEE YA.

Woman: DON'T FORGET TO LOCK THE DOOR

AND GO STRAIGHT TO BED.

ALL RIGHT, MOM. HAVE FUN AT WORK.

[GLEEFUL BABBLING]

SO WE MEET AGAIN, ULTRA PIGULON.

PREPARE FOR DESTRUCTION.

[BEEP BEEP]

[BEEP BEEP]

WHAT?

I--I MUST BE TIRED.

THE NEW LEVEL,

I'M ALMOST THERE!

"THE GAMMY IS MINE."

[GASPS]

AAH!

HEY, WAIT, HOW DID YOU WRITE THAT

IF YOU'RE OUT--HUH?

AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

THE FRONT DOOR.

THE GAME SLAVE 2-- GIVE IT TO ME.

[SCREAMS]

[BABBLING]

[PANTING]

NO. POWER LOW.

BUT I HAVEN'T REACHED THE SAVE POINT YET.

I HAVE TO SEE THE ZOMBIE HOG.

NEED BATTERIES.

[GAZ GROWLING]

BATTERIES!

MUST FIND!

NO. NO!

NO-O-O!

LOOKING FOR THESE?

I NEED THOSE.

SAVE POINT SO CLOSE.

WHAT YOU NEED IS TO GIVE THE GAME SLAVE TO ME,

OR I WILL PLUNGE YOU INTO A NIGHTMARE WORLD

FROM WHICH THERE IS NO WAKING.

BUT...I'M A BETTER GAMER THAN YOU.

I HOPE YOU LIKE NIGHTMARE WORLD.

IT'S MADNESS!

MADNESS!

WHERE ARE THE BATTERIES?

BATTERIES?

50th FLOOR.

[GASPING]

[BABBLING]

[RINGING]

AAH!

AAH!

GIVE ME THE VAMPIRE PIGGIES.

YOU'RE CRAZY.

IT'S MINE. MINE!

[IGGINS SCREAMS]

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!

ALL RIGHT, TAKE IT! IT'S YOURS.

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

THE RIGHTFUL ORDER HAS BEEN RESTORED.

YOU'LL NEVER BE A BETTER GAMER THAN ME.

PLAY ALL YOU WANT.

I'LL ALWAYS BE BETTER.

ALWAYS!

OOH.

[CRASH]

IGGINS!!