Original subtitles

THIS IS IT, GAZ.

MONTHS OF SPYING ON ZIM'S FREAKISH LITTLE HOUSE

ARE ABOUT TO PAY OFF.

I KNOW EVERY OUTER DEFENSE

AND JUST ENOUGH OF THE INNER ONES

TO ACTUALLY MAKE IT DOWN

INTO THE REAL BASE UNDERNEATH.

AND ONCE I GET IN THERE, I'M...

MAN, AM I GONNA DO SOMETHING.

[CRAYON SQUEAKS]

I'M TRYING TO DRAW A LITTLE PIGGY.

[LAUGHING]

CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO DRAW A LITTLE PIGGY?

BE QUIET.

DON'T YOU CARE THAT ZIM'S TRYING TO DESTROY ALL MANKIND?

BUT HE'S SO BAD AT IT.

YOU--YOU JUST DON'T GET IT.

GAZ, IT'S THE ANNUAL FAMILY NIGHT OUT,

AND IT'S YOUR TURN TO PICK WHERE WE EAT.

THE TIME FOR CHOOSING IS NOW.

Professor Membrane: WHAT'S THE MATTER?

DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU--

BLOATY'S. WE'RE GOING TO BLOATY'S PIZZA HOG.

PIG COMMANDS ME.

THAT SOUNDS FINE. I'LL BE HOME AT 8.

Dib: I'LL BE HOME IN TIME FOR MYSTERIOUS MYSTERIES.

YOU KNOW, DAD'S TAKING US OUT TONIGHT.

I PICKED BLOATY'S.

THIS IS BIGGER THAN PIZZA, GAZ.

THIS IS THE FATE OF ALL MANKIND.

YOU AND YOUR MANKIND.

UH-HUH. WHATEVER.

LOOK, IF I'M NOT HOME IN TIME,

CALL THIS NUMBER AND TELL THEM

"THE MOTHMAN IS CAUGHT IN THE SPIDER'S WEB."

THEY'LL KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

BUT LIKE I SAID, I'LL PROBABLY BE BACK

BEFORE THE MYSTERIES THEME SONG STARTS.

YOU CAN GO NOW.

Man on TV: WELCOME, TRUTH-SEEKERS,

TO MYSTERIOUS MYSTERIES OF STRANGE MYSTERY.

[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]

KIDS, I'M HOME. ARE YOU READY TO GO?

WHERE'S YOUR BROTHER?

HE'S OUT. LET'S GO.

NO, NO. IT'S FAMILY NIGHT.

THAT MEANS EVERYONE.

IF HE DOESN'T GET BACK SOON,

WE'LL HAVE TO PUT IT OFF TILL NEXT YEAR.

WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF THIS YEAR?

HMM. WELL...

[BEEP]

SIMMONS, HOW DOES MY SCHEDULE LOOK

FOR THE REST OF THIS YEAR?

Simmons on radio: BUSY, SIR. VERY BUSY.

WAIT, SOMETHING JUST OPENED UP FOR SEPTEMBER.

NO, SCRATCH THAT. IT JUST FILLED UP.

NO GOOD, HONEY. IT HAS TO BE TODAY.

AND I'VE GOT A CURE TO DISCOVER AT 9:30,

SO IF HE'S NOT HOME SOON,

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO CANCEL THE WHOLE THING.

[GROWLING]

Dib, on radio: GAZ? COME IN, GAZ.

EMERGENCY.

THERE YOU ARE, GAZ.

LOOKS LIKE YOU'LL HAVE TO TAPE THE SHOW FOR ME.

I MADE IT IN.

IT'S INCREDIBLE.

THERE ARE THINGS DOWN HERE I'VE NEVER EVEN DREAMED OF.

I'M GONNA TRY AND BLOW IT UP.

COME HOME NOW, DIB.

YOUR WEIRD OBSESSIONS

ARE NOT GONNA MESS TODAY UP FOR ME.

I JUST WANNA GO OUT AND EAT WITH DAD,

THAT'S ALL.

STOP PLAYING WITH ZIM AND GET BACK HERE.

YOU'RE BREAKING UP. I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

I--WHAT?

ZIM, YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH--

AAH!

YOU GOT AWAY WITH IT FOR NOW, ZIM.

BUT YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH IT FOR LONG.

GAZ, MAKE SURE YOU DON'T RECORD OVER ANY OLD EPISODES!

[DOORBELL RINGS]

WELL, HELLO, LITTLE BOY.

[GROWLS]

HOW EMBARRASSING. OH!

I'M GUARDING THE HOUSE.

[MONKEY SHRIEKS]

Kids, on TV: ♪ BLOATY'S PIZZA HOG ♪

♪ BLOATY'S PIZZA HOG ♪

♪ BLOATY'S PIZZA HOG ♪

♪ BLOATY'S PIZZA HOG ♪

♪ BLOATY'S PIZZA HOG ♪

COME OUT TO BLOATY'S PIZZA HOG.

WE GOT GAMES. WE GOT PARTY.

WE GOT PIZZA.

WHAT MORE YOU ASK FOR?

[CHILDREN SINGING]

All: WE LOVE YOU, BLOATY.

I LOVE YOU, KID.

[GROANS]

[GROWLING]

WHERE IS DIB?

NONE MAY PASS.

YOU ARE AN INTRUDER.

WHERE IS DIB?

RIGHT DOWN THERE.

♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO ♪

WAAH...

MMM.

WAAH...

[GROWLS]

YOU'RE SURE THEY TOOK THIS ONE?

YES!

WAIT. MM-MM.

MMM.

[ZIM LAUGHING]

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

IMPRESSIVE THAT YOU GOT INSIDE MY BASE, DIB.

IF YOU HADN'T MADE THE STUPID MISTAKE

OF TRYING TO TRANSMIT A MESSAGE,

I MAY NEVER HAVE CAUGHT YOU.

BUT I DID CATCH YOU!

AND BY THE IRKEN RULES OF WAR,

YOU ARE MY PRISONER.

YOU'LL DO YOUR SPECIES THE HONOR OF BEING

ONE OF THE FIRST TO BE EXPERIMENTED ON.

HMM.

JUST ONE EXPERIMENT,

THEN I GO RESCUE HIM.

AHA HA HA HA!

NOW, DIB, LET'S SEE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE

WITH ALL YOUR ORGANS ON THE OUTSIDE!

HA HA! ON THE OUTSIDE!

GET IT? THE OUTSIDE!

OK, DAD. WE CAN GO TO BLOATY'S NOW.

NO, NO, NO. WE CAN'T GO ANYWHERE WITH HIM LIKE THAT.

FAMILY NIGHT IS CANCELLED

UNTIL HIS ORGANS ARE INSIDE HIM AGAIN.

CANCELLED?

NO-O-O!

[CRYING]

Gaz: THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT.

COME ON, DIB.

WHAT IS THIS?

IS THIS SOME KIND OF A JOKE?

DIB, YOU'VE REALLY SUNK LOW

IF YOU THINK YOUR LITTLE SISTER CAN HELP YOU.

I MADE THAT CONTAINMENT CHAMBER MYSELF.

I WOULD DESTROY YOU RIGHT NOW

IF I DIDN'T EXPECT TO GET SO MUCH AMUSEMENT

FROM WATCHING YOU TRY TO GET HIM OUT.

HMM. OH!

AAH!

GAZ, YOU RESCUED ME.

YEAH, YEAH. NOW LET'S GO.

WE CAN'T LEAVE NOW.

WE CAN STOP HIM ONCE AND FOR ALL--

YOU AND ME AS A TEAM.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WE CAN'T LEAVE HIM LIKE THIS.

HE'S VULNERABLE!

WE CAN STOP HIS REIGN OF TERROR!

[CRASH]

ALL I WANT IS TO HAVE SOME PIZZA,

HANG OUT WITH DAD,

AND NOT LET YOUR WEIRDNESS MESS UP MY DAY.

REIGN OF TERROR, GAZ! REIGN OF TERROR!

[ZIM LAUGHING]

YOU CAN'T ESCAPE BY TELEPORTER, LITTLE GAZ.

I'VE CUT THE POWER.

YOUR PITIFUL RESCUE ATTEMPT

IS NOTHING BUT A PITIFUL FAILURE.

STUPID, STINKING HUMANS.

DOESN'T THIS STATION HAVE ESCAPE PODS?

OF COURSE. THEY'RE RIGHT OVER THERE.

STUPID, STUPID...

WAAH!

COME ON, GAZ,

YOU'D SACRIFICE THE ENTIRE PLANET

JUST FOR SOME PIZZA?

LOOK, YOU GOT TO PICK WHAT WE ATE LAST TIME,

AND NOW IT'S MY TURN.

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO TOMORROW?

YOU JUST DON'T GET IT, DO YOU?

TRY TO OUTRUN ME IN ONE OF MY OWN SHIPS?

WAAH!

DAD, IT'S ME.

DID YOU FIND YOUR BROTHER?

YEAH, I'M GOING TO MEET YOU AT BLOATY'S, OK?

ALL RIGHT.

AAH!

I'VE GOT TO GO, DAD.

DIB'S LITTLE FRIEND IS BUGGING US.

♪ DOO DEE DOO DOO DOO ♪

TOO EASY.

HOLD ON TO SOMETHING.

I CAN'T.

WHOA!

AAH!

[GASPING]

ALL RIGHT, THIS IS GONNA BE ROUGH.

[PANTING]

[COUGHING AND WHEEZING]

[GROANS]

I EAT TOO MANY PIZZA.

[SNORING]

PLEASE, GAZ. LISTEN TO REASON.

HE'S STILL OUT THERE. HE'LL BE BACK.

HE'S GONNA--

OH! NO MORE PIZZA.

[CHILDREN SHOUTING]

[VIDEO GAME BEEPING]

MAKE SURE THAT YOU KEEP A CLOSE EYE ON THE PRESSURE,

AND I'LL BE BACK IN THE LAB IN ABOUT AN HOUR.

I HAD HIM. I HAD HIM, GAZ.

IF YOU HADN'T RESCUED ME, I WOULD'VE--

[DOOR CHIME RINGS]

THERE HE IS! GAZ, UNSTRAP ME.

NOW, DIB, WE FINISH THIS ONCE AND FOR--

AAH!

♪ DOO DEE DOO DEE DOO ♪

[CHILDREN SINGING] ♪ BLOATY'S PIZZA HOG ♪

♪ DOO DEE DOO DEE DOO ♪

♪ BLOATY'S PIZZA HOG ♪

♪ BLOATY'S PIZZA HOG ♪

Pig: ♪ DOO DEE DOO DEE ♪

WHAT FORM OF EARTH MONSTERS ARE THESE?

AAH! AAH!

THERE. SEE? YOU WON.

EAT YOUR PIZZA.

I CAN'T.

SHNOOKIE!