Original subtitles

WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE

MIND-SHATTERING ADVENTURES IN SCIENCE

IN JUST A MOMENT,

WHEN PROFESSOR MEMBRANE RETURNS!

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

WHOA! WHOA!

AUDIENCE TRYOUTS ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BUILDING.

NO, I HAVE TO GET IN TO SEE PROFESSOR MEMBRANE.

AH!

NOBODY GETS IN TO SEE PROFESSOR MEMBRANE

WITHOUT A SECURITY CLEARANCE.

YOU DON'T GET IT. HE'S MY DAD! AH!

REALLY, I NEED HIM TO SIGN--EEEEHH!

WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?

IF I DON'T GET HIM TO SIGN THIS,

THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT WILL BE DESTROYED!

OK, YOU EXPLAIN IT TO ME.

OK.

AGENT MOTHMAN, YOUR FELLOW SWOLLEN EYEBALL MEMBERS

AGREE TO SEE THIS PRESENTATION OF YOURS

AT 8 O'CLOCK SHARP TONIGHT,

BUT YOU WILL NEED A SIGNED PERMISSION SLIP

TO ATTEND TONIGHT'S MEETING.

ARE YOU KIDDING?

I NEED MY DAD'S PERMISSION TO SAVE THE WORLD?

DON'T TRY FAKING A SIGNATURE EITHER.

THE PAPER IS PROGRAMMED TO EXPLODE IN JUST SUCH AN EVENT.

WELL, THEY AT LEAST GAVE ME THIS CHANCE

TO PRESENT MY FINDINGS ON ZIM.

I CAN'T MESS THIS UP.

MANKIND DEPENDS ON IT!

AAH! HEY!

GAZ. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I CAN'T BELIEVE I DON'T HAVE HANDCUFFS

TO LOCK THIS THING TO MY WRIST.

OK, CHECKLIST: BRIEFCASE...

PERMISSION SLIP...

EXTRA COPY OF PERMISSION SLIP JUST IN CASE.

I THINK THAT'S IT.

OH, YEAH! THANKS, GAZ!

DON'T WANNA STARVE TO DEATH WHILE SAVING THE EARTH!

LET IT BE KNOWN THAT FROM THIS DAY

UNTIL THE END OF THE DAY,

VENGEANCE WILL BE MINE.

DIB, YOU WILL NOT KNOW THE MEANING OF PEACE,

FOR I SHALL RAIN MISERY DOWN UPON YOUR PIZZA- STEALING HEART!

I THOUGHT I'D HELP YOU OUT.

THANK YOU, GAZ.

IT'S ABOUT TIME SOMEBODY HELPED OUT.

YOU'D THINK PEOPLE WOULD BE A LITTLE MORE

EAGER TO HELP FIGHT OFF AN INVADING ALIEN SWARM.

NOW, IF YOU WOULD JUST SHOW ME TO THE...

AAAHH!

PROFESSOR MEMBRANE IS SHOOTING HIS SHOW.

THE ONLY WAY YOU'LL GET TO SEE HIM

IS IF YOU MAKE IT INTO THE AUDIENCE

BUT HE'S MY DAD!

OTHER SIDE OF THE BUILDING!

AAAHHH!

FAN BOY.

AH!

THIS IS THE PROFESSOR MEMBRANE AUDIENCE ADMISSIONS EXAM.

YOU NEED TO TAKE AN EXAM TO BE IN THE AUDIENCE?

THIS EXAM WILL TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF SCIENCE, MATH,

AND THE PERSONAL HISTORY OF PROFESSOR MEMBRANE.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT DAD'S FIRST SENTIENT THOUGHT WAS?

IT WAS "I WILL POOP NOW."

IT'S HERE IN HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY.

THAT'S NOT IT. IT'S...

HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?

I TOOK THE STAFF ENTRANCE.

THERE'S A STAFF ENTRANCE?

FINE. MAYBE I DON'T KNOW DAD'S FIRST POOP,

BUT I CAN BEAT THIS TEST WITH MY SUPERIOR KNOWLEDGE OF SCIENCE.

94 PERCENT. YOUR SCORE IS...

UNACCEPTABLE!

AH!

AH!

EVALUATING.

94.1 PERCENT.

YOUR SCORE IS... ACCEPTABLE! CONGRATULATIONS!

[VICTORY MUSIC]

OK, THAT WAS ANNOYING.

BUT AT LEAST IT WAS EASY.

AH!

WELCOME TO THE AUDIENCE ADMISSIONS TEST ROUND TWO!

ROUND TWO?

HAH!

GAZ?

STAFF ENTRANCE.

JUNIOR SCIENTISTS, CHOOSE YOUR SCIENCE TOOL!

OK.

NOW, LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!

BATTLE?

FEEL THE POWER OF SHUNK WUGGA!

AH!

AH!...

DON'T WORRY, SMALL FRIEND.

SHUNK HAVE PLAN.

WE END IN TIE AND WE BOTH GO SEE SHOW.

WHAT? OK-- SHUNK, WAS IT?

OOH!

POINT GOES TO CONTESTANT NUMBER 1!

ALL OF SHUNK'S DREAMS NOT COME TRUE!

I'M NOT SURE WHAT KIND OF TEST THIS IS, GAZ,

BUT I SEEM TO BE DOING OK.

[SHUDDERS]

LITTLE GUY BETRAY ME.

SHUNK FEEL HURT LIKE NEVER BEFORE.

YOU KNOW HE SAID HE COULD SLICE YOU...

LIKE A PIZZA.

AND THAT YOUR HEAD IS HIDEOUSLY MISSHAPEN.

NO!

BATTLE TWO OF THREE!

TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF COMBUSTION WITH PYRO-CHAOS!

WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SCIENCE?!

[GRUNTING]

COME DOWN.

NO.

COME DOWN AND FACE SHUNK.

NO.

SHUUUUUUNK!

HOW DID YOU PASS THE VERBAL PORTION OF THE EXAM, ANYWAY?

AH-AAAHHH!

Announcer: SCORE GOES TO CONTESTANT TWO!

LET THE TIE-BREAKER BEGIN!

[OUT OF BREATH]

IT MAY BE TIME TO CHANGE STRATEGIES.

YEAH? MAYBE I CAN HELP.

TELL SHUNK I'M WILLING TO RECONSIDER HIS OFFER FOR A TIE.

DIB SAYS HE WANTS YOU TO EXPLODE...

AND YOUR HEAD IS STILL BIG.

DOCTOR SAY BIG HEAD NOT MEAN ANYTHING BAD.

SHUNK NOT BAD.

SHUNK EAT ENEMY!

Announcer: PREPARE FOR THE FINAL CONTEST...

TESTING YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF THE INSECT WORLD

AND CYBERNETIC DEATH MACHINES.

CYBARACHNORAMA!

CYBARACHNO... SPIDER ROBOTS?

DO SPIDERS HAVE ROBOTS?

HEY, SHUNK, HOW ABOUT WE DO THAT TIE THING NOW?

BIG HEAD KID GO OFF AND EXPLODE, HUH?

YAAAHH!

SEE? IT'S A TIE. THIS WAY WE BOTH WIN.

SHUNK DESTROY!

[BUZZER SOUNDS]

THE WINNER IS SHUUUUNK WUGGA!

ALL LOSERS LEAVE THE ARENA...NOW!

WAIT! I'M DR. MEMBRANE'S SON!

RUN A DNA TEST!

YOU'VE GOTTA BELIEVE MEEE!

COME ON, LISTEN TO ME! LET ME...

AAAAAAHHHHHH!

GAZ, HELP ME!

I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR TACOS OR WHATEVER!

JUST HELP ME!

EXCUSE ME, DO YOU HAVE A PEN?

HERE YOU GO.

FORGERY ALERT.

THIS PERMISSION SLIP WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN 5 SECONDS.

HEY, GET BACK HERE!

WATCH OUT!

[OUT OF BREATH] DAD'S DRESSING ROOM

MUST BE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE!

YOU GOTTA SIGN THIS!

FOR THE SAKE OF ALL MANKIND!

NOW, NOW, I DON'T SIGN AUTOGRAPHS BACKSTAGE, LITTLE BOY.

LITTLE BOY?

DAD, I'M YOUR...

THERE'S THE INTRUDER! GET HIM!

NOOO!

PLANET EARTH...DOOMED!

NEXT TIME WE'LL CALL YOUR PARENTS OR... LEGAL GUARDIAN!

THIS IS AWFUL.

WHEN THE ALIENS HAVE COME AND WE'RE ALL SLAVES

TO THEIR ALIEN EVIL,

WILL THE WORLD EVER KNOW HOW HARD I TRIED?

WILL THEY? HUH? HUH?

OH YEAH, PROFESSOR AUTOGRAPHED THIS FOR YOU.

MY PERMISSION SLIP. I CAN GIVE MY PRESENTATION!

I DID IT!

THE WORLD IS SAVED!

HA HA HA HA!

AH!

MY FELLOW EYEBALLS,

I WON'T MAKE YOU WAIT ANY LONGER.

WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO HEAR AND SEE WILL...

UM...WILL...

UH...

COULD WE RESCHEDULE THIS?

Zim: OBEY THE FIST!