Original subtitles

OOH! ARGH!

M-MY ORGANS!

HA HA HA HA!

INFERIOR HUMAN ORGANS.

BALL! MY SQUEEDILY SPOOCH!

[BEEPING]

SQUEEDILY SPOOCH?

DID YOU HEAR THAT, GAZ?

THAT'S NO HUMAN ORGAN.

HUMANS DON'T HAVE SQUEEDILY SPOOCHES.

I'VE GOT A SQUEEDILY SPOOCH.

IF ONLY I HAD SOME WAY OF LOOKING INSIDE HIS BODY.

I'M LOOKING FOR A MR. DIB.

THAT'S ME.

IT'S MY PERSONAL X-SCOPE.

I ORDERED IT FROM THE BACK OF CROP CIRCLES MAGAZINE.

YOU HAD IT DELIVERED TO SCHOOL?

Zim: HEY! THROW IT OVER HERE

YOU FILTHY, STINKING FRIENDS.

INCREDIBLE.

SEE, GAZ, TO DEFEAT MY ENEMY,

I MUST STUDY MY ENEMY, THEN BECOME MY ENEMY,

THEN MOVE IN WITH MY ENEMY,

THEN WEAR MY ENEMY'S CLOTHES, THEN--

YOU'RE IN MY LIGHT.

Ms. Bitters: SO YOU SEE,

"RING AROUND THE ROSIE" REFERS TO THE HORRIBLE SYMPTOMS

OF A TERRIFYING DISEASE.

A DISEASE WHICH...

A DISEASE WHICH...

[PIGEON COOING]

ZIM!

SIR!

THERE'S A PIGEON ON YOUR HEAD.

YOU'VE GOT HEAD PIGEONS.

GET TO THE NURSE BEFORE THEY SPREAD TO THE OTHER CHILDREN.

YES, MS. BITTERS.

NO LEAVING THE CLASS WITHOUT A HALL PASS, ZIM.

OF COURSE.

IF YOU LEAVE SCHOOL GROUNDS,

IT WILL EXPLODE.

YOU KNOW, ZIM,

WHEN THE NURSE EXAMINES YOU,

SHE'LL NOTICE THAT YOU DON'T HAVE HUMAN ORGANS.

THEN IT'S JUST A SHORT STEP TO A HOSPITAL

AND FROM THERE TO AN ALIEN AUTOPSY TABLE,

AND THEN YOU'RE JUST ANOTHER SEGMENT ON MYSTERIOUS MYSTERIES.

I'LL BE FINE.

I BET MY SQUEEDILY SPOOCH ON IT.

HMM.

MM-HMM.

HEY!

WHERE'S YOUR HALL PASS?

SAY, YOU'RE FULL OF ORGANS, AREN'T YOU?

WHY, YES. YES, I AM.

AND YOU WOULDN'T NOTICE IF YOU WERE,

SAY, MISSING A FEW?

PROBABLY NOT.

HEH HEH.

HEE HEE HEE.

HEE HEE HEE HA HA HA HA!

HEE HEE. HO HO HO.

[MANIACAL LAUGHING]

AHEM.

Boy: AAH!

[ELECTRICAL CRACKLING]

[BEEPING]

Ms. Bitters: AND THEN THE RATS CAME FOR THEM.

THOUSANDS OF THEM.

DIRTY, DIRTY RATS.

AND THESE WEREN'T THE CUDDLY KIND OF RATS

YOU GET IN TODAY'S SEWERS.

MS. BITTERS?

I THINK A PENCIL IS LODGED IN MY BRAIN.

CAN I GO TO THE NURSE?

HOW FAR IN YOUR BRAIN?

PRETTY FAR.

ALL RIGHT. TAKE THE AUXILIARY HALL PASS.

[COUGHING]

[SCREAMING]

[MOOING]

I'M LOOKING FOR THE PIGEON HEAD KID.

NOBODY'S COME IN WITH HEAD PIGEONS, YOUNG MAN.

[MOOING]

ZIM?

THE GREEN KID.

OH, THE GREEN CHILD.

HE'S RIGHT OVER THERE DOUBLED OVER IN PAIN.

THE COOING.

THE COOING.

HE'S MISSING HIS LIVER.

THAT'S HOW SOME KIDS REACT TO THE CAFETERIA FOOD.

THE LUCKY ONES.

Dib: NO.

IT'S ZIM. IT HAS TO BE.

HE'S STEALING ORGANS

AND REPLACING THEM WITH...

STUFF.

HE MUST BE STOPPED.

DON'T FORGET YOUR HALL PASS.

RIGHT.

[MOOING]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[GRUNTING]

MUST WARN OTHERS.

[PIGEON COOING]

ZIM?

ZIM?

DO NOT SHOW FEAR.

THIS IS ME WITHOUT FEAR...

AND A 62-POUND HALL PASS.

[BELL RINGS]

HEY, WAIT!

YOUR ORGANS! IN DANGER!

[ELECTRICAL CRACKLING]

I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD.

Dib: THE HALL PASS.

[BLEATS]

Dib: LOOK AT THEM.

AND IT'S NOT EVEN KETCHUP AND RICE DAY.

[SQUEALS]

GAZ!

[BEEPING]

DON'T BOTHER ME, DIB.

I'M IN THE ZONE.

[DIB GASPS]

[TICKING]

[MEOW]

THAT'S IT, ZIM.

THIS HAS TO STOP.

I'M AFRAID I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

LOOK AT YOU. YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR.

YOU'RE A HIDEOUS BLOB OF STOLEN ORGANS.

I'VE BEEN WORKING OUT.

YOU THINK YOU CAN FOOL

A TRAINED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL?

YES.

I SUPPOSE YOU'VE GOT A HEART IN THERE.

6 OF THEM. INTESTINES?

LARGE OR SMALL? SPLEEN?

IN 3 DIFFERENT COLORS.

WHAT ABOUT LUNGS?

[GASPS]

HMM.

[PIGEON COOS]

YOU WON'T FIND LUNGS ON MY WATCH, ZIM.

YOU! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE STILL GOT ALL YOUR ORGANS.

YEAH, SO?

YOU'RE IN DANGER. COME WITH ME.

I HAVE TO GO LIFT THINGS.

UM, THEN I'LL COME WITH YOU.

Dib: AND HE WANTS TO DESTROY US ALL.

NOW, I KNOW YOU THINK I'M CRAZY, BUT YOU'LL THANK ME.

YOU'LL ALL THANK ME.

ALIENS ARE KIND OF A HOBBY OF MINE.

WELL, MORE OF A WAY OF LIFE, REALLY.

MAN, YOU'RE CREEPING ME OUT.

I HAVE VAGUE MEMORIES OF BEING TAKEN ON BOARD AN ALIEN SHIP AS A BABY.

AND I'M NOT SURE, BUT I THINK THEY WERE DOING TESTS ON ME,

TRYING TO CREATE SOME KIND OF GENIUS SUPER BABY, PERHAPS?

[ELECTRICAL CRACKLING]

TORQUE?

TORQUE SMACKY, IS THAT YOU?

COME ON, MAN, TALK TO ME.

LET ME KNOW YOU'RE STILL HERE.

[GASPS]

[PIGEON COOING]

TORQUE SMACKY!

[ALIEN CHATTERING]

[PIGEON COOING]

NO-O-O!

[PIGEONS COOING]

[COOING GROWS LOUDER]

NO-O-O!

[ELECTRICAL CRACKLING]

[MOOS]

THAT ONE HAS HEAD PIGEONS.

THE OTHER ONE IS JUST ANNOYING. FIX IT.

UHH...

YOUR STUPID PLAN WON'T WORK, ZIM.

[MOOS]

YOU'LL NEVER PULL THIS OFF.

YOU SPEAK CRAZINESS, EARTH BOY.

MORE ORGANS MEANS MORE HUMAN.

IT WILL WORK.

THERE.

WHY, YOU'RE ONE OF THE HEALTHIEST LITTLE CHILDREN

I'VE EVER SEEN.

AND SUCH PLENTIFUL ORGANS.

AND WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, YOUNG MAN?

[MOOS]

AAH!

IT ISN'T HUMAN!

IT'S HORRIBLE!

BUT HE--

[CLAMORING]

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY NICKELODEON AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--

Man: WASN'T THAT NEAT?