Original subtitles

[SUCKING SOUNDS]

Computer: SECURITY BREACH.

AH! AN INTRUDER!

[BUZZING]

AH! GIR, YOU LEFT THE DOOR OPEN AGAIN!

I GOT CHOCOLATE BUBBLEGUM.

GIR, WITH AN ENTIRE PLANET OF ENEMIES

WAITING FOR US TO DROP OUR GUARD,

WE HAVE TO BE VERY CAREFUL

NOT TO HAVE OUR GUARDS GET ALL...

DROPPY. UNDERSTAND?

I'LL TAKE THAT AS A YES.

NOW, I'M GOING DOWN BELOW TO CHECK

THE LASER WEASEL EXPERIMENT.

I THINK THEY'RE RIPE BY NOW.

[SUCKING SOUNDS]

COMPUTER! TAKE ME TO THE WEASELS!

WOW!

HEY! IT WASN'T ME.

YES, IT WAS. COMPUTER, INTRUDER ALERT!

[SCREAMING]

NOW I HAVE PROOF, ZIM.

PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE.

SOON, YOUR ZIM GUTS WILL BE STREWN ALL OVER AN AUTOPSY TABLE.

[LAUGHS]

AH!

YOU LEFT THE WINDOW OPEN, TOO?!

OH, YEAH.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

ZIM WASN'T IN CLASS TODAY, GAZ.

MAYBE HE'S SICK.

YEAH. SICK WITH FEAR! ONCE THESE PICTURES GET OUT,

HE WON'T BE ABLE TO HIDE ANY LONGER.

I'M GOING TO SEND THEM TO MYSTERIOUS MYSTERIES

AND THEN THE WORLD WILL KNOW!

MAYBE THEY'LL EVEN LET ME HOST THE SHOW. MY OWN EPISODE.

I'M ONLY 13 LEVELS AWAY FROM FINISHING THIS GAME.

SO I EITHER FINISH MY GAME,

OR MAKE YOU WISH I WAS NEVER BORN.

FOR YEARS, THE WORLD HAS WONDERED,

"ARE THERE ALIENS AMONG US?"

BUT WE HERE AT MYSTERIOUS MYSTERIES OF STRANGE MYSTERY

HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION,

AND THAT ANSWER IS A RESOUNDING "MAYBE",

WHICH IS WHY, AS ALWAYS,

WE ASK YOU, OUR VIEWERS,

TO HELP US PUT AN END TO THIS QUESTION ONCE AND FOR ALL...

SEND US YOUR PROOF OF ALIEN EXISTENCE

AND A SELF-ADDRESSED, STAMPED ENVELOPE.

WHAT?

REMEMBER EARLIER, THE WHOLE BUGGING ME THING?

YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN.

I'M NOT DOING THIS, GAZ!

I DON'T HAVE CONTROL OF MY ARMS!

I'M LETTING YOU LIVE THIS TIME, DIB,

BUT ONLY BECAUSE I'M STILL GETTING THROUGH THIS LAST LEVEL.

BUT GAZ...!

HELLO, DIB!

WHAT THE...? ZIM!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY TV?

I'M NOT IN YOUR TV.

I'M TRANSMITTING FROM... INSIDE YOUR BODY!

SPOOKY, YES? AT THIS VERY MOMENT,

I'M INSIDE A MICROSCOPIC SUBMERSIBLE

SOMEWHERE IN YOUR DISGUSTING BELLY,

ATTACHED TO YOUR ARM CONTROL NERVE.

ARM CONTROL NERVE?

YES, ARM CONTROL NERVE.

IN MY BELLY?

YES.

HUMANS DON'T HAVE ARM CONTROL NERVES.

DO NOT QUESTION ME! I CONTROL YOUR ARMS!

I DON'T UNDERSTAND. HOW DID YOU GET INSIDE OF ME?

A FUNNY STORY.

IT BEGINS THIS AFTERNOON, IN THE CAFETERIA...

MAYBE HE'S SICK.

YEAH, SICK WITH FEAR!

ONCE THESE PICTURES GET OUT HE WON'T BE ABLE TO HIDE ANY LONGER---

I'M GOING TO SEND THEM TO MYSTERIOUS MYSTERIES

AND THEN THE WORLD WILL KNOW!

NOW, DOWN TO BUSINESS.

NO!

[LAUGHING EVILLY]

YOU DIDN'T THINK I'D SEND THE ORIGINAL DISC, DID YOU?

THAT WAS A COPY!

ONLY I KNOW WHERE THE ORIGINAL DISC IS!

HA HA HA HA! IDIOTIC HUMAN!

I'LL JUST GO TO YOUR BRAIN AND DELETE THE KNOWLEDGE

OF WHERE YOU HID THE MASTER DISC!

AND AS AN ADDED BONUS, I MIGHT AS WELL MAKE YOUR ENTIRE BRAIN...

NOT SMART...NO MORE!

NOOOOOO!

[LAUGHING EVILLY]

DAD! DAD, I NEED YOUR HELP!

THE WORLD NEEDS MY HELP, SON.

DO YOU STILL HAVE THAT MICROSCOPIC NANOSHIP THING YOU WERE WORKING ON?

OF COURSE.

THE CONTROLS ARE OVER THERE. WHY DO YOU NEED THIS, SON?

THERE'S AN ALIEN IN MY GUTS,

AND HE'S TRYING TO DESTROY MY BRAIN!

AH, WELL. RUN ALONG THEN.

I'M COMING, ZIM.

WHAT THE?

OH, NO, YOU DON'T!

WITH DIB TURNED INTO A DROOLING MORON,

NOTHING WILL STAND IN MY WAY. NOT EVEN DROOL.

GUESS WHO'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU, ZIM?

HEY, WHAT GAME IS THAT?

THERE IS NO GAME. THIS IS MY LIFE!

YEAH, IT'S COOL LOOKING,

BUT IT STILL JUST LOOKS LIKE A GAME.

YOU CAN'T BEAT ME, DIB!

MY PILOTING SKILLS ARE UNMATCHED!

IS THAT ZIM? IS THIS AN ONLINE GAME?

GAZ, PLEASE, I NEED TO CONCENTRATE.

LET'S SEE.

HOW ABOUT THIS?

[BUZZING]

AH!

I'VE BEEN FLYING SHIPS SINCE BEFORE YOU WERE BORN,

SAD LITTLE EARTH MONKEY.

[LAUGHING EVILLY]

AAARGH! MY SPLEEN!

NOW, I'M IN YOUR TRACHEA, DIB.

YOUR BRAIN IS SO CLOSE, I CAN SMELL IT!

CAN I PLAY?

WAIT A MINUTE. HE'S IN MY TRACHEA...

GET AWAY FROM MY BRAIN, ZIM!

[DEEPLY INHALES]

[SCREAMING]

ENOUGH ALREADY! PREPARE FOR SOME DOOM.

[LAUGHING EVILLY]

QUARTER CIRCLE BACK.

WHAT?

THE TRANSFORMATION MOVE.

IT'S ALWAYS QUARTER CIRCLE BACK.

OH, HEY, LOOK AT THAT.

WHEN YOU DIE, CAN I PLAY?

[BATTLE CRY]

COME ON, DIB. LET ME PLAY.

YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. I CAN BEAT HIM.

NO WAY! HE'S IN MY ORGANS, NOT YOURS.

[GRUNTING]

I DON'T REALLY KNOW THE CONTROLS YET!

OH, NO!

THIS IS KIND OF SAD, DIB.

I WILL PUT AN END TO THIS NOW.

ARMS...

LIKE...NOODLES!

IT'S MY TURN.

NOW, LET'S SEE WHERE YOU'RE KEEPING THE LOCATION OF THE DISC, DIB.

THERE!

HE'S IN MY HEAD!

KNOWLEDGE...LOSING...

BRAIN...POOF!

[LAUGHING EVILLY]

I CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE THE FILE IS, GAZ!

HE DID IT! HE MADE ME FORGET!

QUIET, DIB.

AND NOW TO UNLEASH STUPIDITY ON YOUR ENTIRE BRAIN!

FROM THIS DAY FORTH,

YOU WILL NOT BE A THREAT TO ME ANY--

THE HUMAN DOESN'T KNOW WHEN TO QUIT!

I'LL FINISH WITH THE REST OF YOUR BRAIN

AFTER I DEAL WITH YOUR JUNKY...JUNK THING.

[WAILING]

[YELLING]

[MUMBLING]

HE'S NOT EVEN TRYING.

HELP ME!

[YELLING]

[GASPING]

[LAUGHS]

THAT GAME WAS STUPID.

NOW, FOR MY FINISHING MOVE.

[DOOR CLOSES]

WAIT, DIB. WHAT'S GOING ON?

[TOILET FLUSHES]

NOOOOOOOO!

ON AND NOGGIN

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--