Original subtitles

[CHEERING]

[THEME MUSIC]

[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND NOGGIN

[SNIFFING]

[SHUDDERS]

[SQUEALS]

[SCREAMS]

THAT NEW KID'S A FREAK.

I THINK HIS NAME IS ZIP OR SOMETHING.

HE'S BEEN HERE LONG ENOUGH TO AT LEAST MAKE SOME LOSER FRIENDS,

LIKE THAT CREEP KID, DIM...

OR THOSE REJECTS IN THE CORNER.

BUT LOOK AT HIM, ALL BY HIMSELF,

I MEAN, WHAT KIND OF KID DOESN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS?

IT'S SO INHUMAN.

["INHUMAN" ECHOING]

CONGRATULATIONS ON DISCOVERING THE GROTESQUE SPACE MONSTER!

TELL US, HOW DID YOU KNOW HE WAS AN ALIEN?

WELL, WE NOTICED HE HAD NO FRIENDS.

["FRIENDS" ECHOING]

[GASPS]

I'M LOOKING FOR A FRIEND. WOULD YOU BE--

I WAS BORN WITH WEBBED FISH TOES...

LIKE SOME KIND OF HORRIBLE FISHBOY.

WANT TO SEE?

WOULD YOU--

[SCREAMING]

SQUEALY FOOLS!

THESE HUMAN FILTHIES SHOULD BE HONORED

TO EVEN BE CONSIDERED AS POSSIBLE FRIENDS OF ZIM!

WHO AMONG YOU FEELS THEY ARE WORTHY ENOUGH TO BE MY BEST FRIEND?

GOOD. I HAVE DEVISED SOME SIMPLE TESTS

TO DETERMINE WHO IS THE WORTHIEST.

WE BEGIN BY TESTING YOUR ABSORBENCY.

OOH! HEY! OOH!

NEXT, I TEST YOUR ELECTRICAL CONDUCTIVITY.

[SCREAMING]

AND NOW, THE FINAL TEST...

[SCREAMING]

WE HAVE A WINNER. WHAT IS YOUR NAME, FRIEND?

MY NAME'S KEEF.

WOW! I'VE NEVER WON ANYTHING BEFORE.

I PROMISE I'LL BE THE BEST, MOST LOYAL FRIEND EVER!

I'M SO HAPPY.

DON'T TOUCH ME.

I'D LIKE YOU ALL TO MEET KEEF.

HE'S MY BEST FRIEND.

NOT YOURS...MINE!

GET LOST, YOU LOSERS.

VERY WELL, I AM GOING TO GET LOST.

BUT NOTICE I AM GETTING LOST WITH MY BEST FRIEND!

[CRASH]

AND THEN TOMORROW, THERE'S THE CIRCUS.

WE CAN GO TO THE CIRCUS! I LOVE THE CIRCUS!

YOU WANT TO GO TO THE CIRCUS, ZIM?

I WANT TO CONGRATULATE YOU, KEEF, ON A JOB WELL DONE.

YOU HAVE BEEN A MOST CONVINCING FRIEND.

BUT NOW THAT THE WORLD SEEMS SATISFIED

WITH MY KNACK FOR COMPANIONSHIP,

I DON'T THINK I WILL BE REQUIRING YOUR SERVICES ANY LONGER.

OUR MISSION TOGETHER IS DONE.

GOOD JOB, SOLDIER. BE GONE WITH YOU.

HEY, YOU GOT ANY VIDEO GAMES?

YES.

[HEAVY SIGH]

A JOB WELL DONE.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

HEYA, BUDDY. HOW YOU DOING?

KEEF? I TOLD YOU I DO NOT REQUIRE YOUR--

I UNDERSTAND, ZIM. I WAS THINKING MAYBE YOU'D WANT TO--

[BEEP]

HOLD ON, I'VE GOT ANOTHER CALL.

HELLO?

HEYA, BUDDY! YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THE CIRCUS!

GIR!

YES, MY MASTER!

GIR, I'M GOING DOWN TO THE LAB.

DO NOT LET ANYONE IN THE HOUSE.

YES, SIR!

[DOORBELL RINGS]

LEPRECHAUNS!

[SQUEAKING]

[BLISSFUL SIGH]

HEY, ZIM! YOU SHOWED UP JUST IN TIME FOR THE WAFFLES!

GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

I TOLD YOU, YOU'RE FIRED!

YOU DON'T LIKE WAFFLES?

OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT!

OH! WE CAN WALK TO SCHOOL TOGETHER.

I'M SICK. I'M NOT GOING TO SCHOOL TODAY.

POOR SICK ZIM.

NO WONDER HE'S SO SAD.

I HAVE A GREAT IDEA, GIR.

I THINK WE SHOULD THROW OUR ZIM A SURPRISE PARTY.

IT'LL CHEER HIM UP.

[HAPPY SQUEAL]

I'LL GET A BUNCH OF KIDS

AND BRING THEM OVER AFTER SCHOOL.

NOW, THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SURPRISE.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND, GIR?

A SURPRISE. ZIM CAN'T FIND OUT.

MEOW.

[DOOR OPENS]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, GIR?

NOTHING.

NOTHING? OR SOMETHING?

OOOH! I CAN'T TAKE IT!

YOU'RE TOO SMART FOR ME!

KEEF IS PLANNING A SURPRISE PARTY FOR YOU AFTER SCHOOL!

HE'S GONNA BRING ALL THE KIDS BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU!

THAT BOY LOVES YOU SO MUCH!

I'M MAKIN' THE CAKE!

HE'S BRINGING ALL THE CHILDREN TO OUR SECRET LAIR?

DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS?

YES.

WAIT A MINUTE...NO.

IT MEANS OUR MISSION IS IN JEOPARDY!

AW, MAN.

[HUMS A DITTY]

SOMETHING MUST BE DONE ABOUT THIS...KEEF.

IF HE SUCCEEDS, THE WHOLE POPULATION OF EARTH

WILL SHOW UP ON OUR DOORSTEP.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

PARTY AFTER SCHOOL AT ZIM'S HOUSE.

EVERYBODY'S INVITED!

WHO'S ZIM?

HE'S THE GREEN KID. YOU KNOW HIM.

OH, YOU MEAN THE FREAK WITH THAT ONE FRIEND

THAT MAKES HIM EVEN FREAKIER?

HA HA. I DON'T THINK SO.

THESE HUMANS AND THEIR FILTHY "FRIENDSHIP."

IT BRINGS NOTHING BUT TROUBLE.

I CAN SEE THEM NOW.

[COW MOOS]

[SHUDDERS]

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

PARTEEEEE!

[GASPS]

[SLOW MOTION] PARTEEEE!

[GRUNTING]

[LOW, VERY SLOW MOTION SOUNDS]

[SIGHS]

[LAUGHING]

OK, NOW YOU GUYS WAIT HERE WHILE I GET HIM.

THEN JUMP OUT AND YELL "SURPRISE!"

HE'LL BE SO HAPPY.

I'VE NEVER BEEN TO A PARTY BEFORE.

DO THEY HURT?

HEY, ZIM! I'M HOME!

FOR ME?!

OH, YOU ARE MY BESTEST FRIEND.

THANK YOU, ZIM.

[SCREAMING]

KEEF...

YES...?

WHO'S YOUR BEST FRIEND?

THAT WOULD BE ZIM.

TODAY, HE GOT ME--

SILENCE! WHEN I SNAP MY FINGERS,

THE NEXT LIVING THING YOU SEE YOU WILL BELIEVE TO BE YOUR BEST FRIEND.

I LIKE ZIM.

I KNOW YOU DO. BUT PAY ATTENTION!

[SNAP]

WHAT HAPPENED?

ZIM! HOW'D YOU GET OUT THERE?

HEY, WAIT UP! I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU!

HA HA HA! HUMANS AND THEIR "FRIENDSHIP."

INVADERS NEED NO ONE. NO ONE!

[CRASH]

HEY, GUYS! THIS IS ZIM!

IT'S ZIM!

FORGET THIS WEIRDO.

HEY, YOU GUYS WANT TO SEE SOMETHING REALLY NEAT?

[SCREAMING]

HEY, I'M HUNGRY. CAN I GET SOME OF THAT?

NO.

[SCREAMING]

YOU DON'T LIKE WAFFLES?

[HUMMING]