Original subtitles

YEEEEHEEE!

I'M RUNNING! I'M RUNNING!

AAAHHH! WHOO...!

[CONTINUES SCREAMING]

OW! I'M NAKED!

GIR! SIT STILL!

I NEED QUIET TO REPAIR YOUR GUIDANCE SYSTEMS BOX.

I DON'T NEED IT!

I DON'T NEED IT!

DONE. THE FINEST IN IRKEN GUIDANCE TECHNOLOGY

AND I HAVE IMPROVED IT.

WITH THESE UPGRADES, GIR,

THERE WILL BE NOTHING THAT YOU CANNOT FIND,

NO SITUATION THAT YOU CANNOT GUIDE US OUT OF.

BEEEEES!

NOW, IF WE COULD JUST WORK ON YOUR BEHAVIOR.

AW, MY BEES.

YOU NOW POSSESS SUPERIOR GEOGRAPHIC GUIDANCE ABILITIES, GIR.

FINALLY.

REPORT UPGRADE STATUS.

SIR, GUIDANCE CHIP IN PLACE AND FULLY FUNCTIONAL, SIR.

DEMONSTRATE. WHICH WAY IS-- THE SCHOOL?

GOOD, GIR.

NOW, SOMETHING TOUGHER.

WHERE IS PLANET BLORCH?

EXCELLENT.

NOW, WHERE IS OUR HOME PLANET IRK?

PERFECT.

OK, GIR, I THINK A FIELD TEST IS IN ORDER.

LET'S GO INTO THE NEARBY CITY

AND GET AS LOST AS WE CAN.

GIR, NO CHEATING.

SHUT YOUR CHIP OFF FIRST.

DO WE HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW?

I WANNA WATCH THE SCARY MONKEY SHOW.

THAT MONKEY.

AS SOON AS WE'RE LOST ENOUGH,

YOU JUST USE THE CHIP TO GUIDE US HOME.

NOW, PUT YOUR DISGUISE BACK ON.

I HAVE DEVISED A NEW,

EVEN MORE INSIDIOUSLY CLEVER DISGUISE FOR MYSELF.

BE ALERT, GIR.

ON THIS PLANET,

WE ARE SURROUNDED BY DANGER AND MADNESS!

I LIKE MADNESS.

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

MADNESS!

OK, I THINK I'VE HAD MY FILL OF THESE HORRIBLE

STINK PEOPLE THINGS FOR TODAY!

SO ACTIVATE YOUR GUIDANCE CHIP

AND LEAD THE WAY TO HOME.

HA HA HA HA.

NO. NO, GIR, NOT IRK.

I MEANT OUR HOME BASE HERE ON EARTH.

OH, HERE.

OUR HOUSE, GIR!

WHICH DIRECTION IS OUR HOUSE?

UM...THAT WAY.

NO, WAIT. UM...

IT'S OVER THERE.

HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW?

I JUST UPGRADED YOUR GUIDANCE SYSTEM.

OH, I LEFT THAT AT HOME.

YOU LEFT WHAT AT HOME?

THE GUIDEY CHIPPY THINGY.

YOU?

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

TO MAKE ROOM FOR THE CUPCAKE.

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?

YOU'VE LEFT US STRANDED IN THE MIDDLE

OF THE ENEMY TERRITORY,

SURROUNDED BY HUMANS!

I CAN SEE THAT YOU UNDERSTAND YOUR MISTAKE, GIR,

AND ME BEING ANGRY WILL GET US NO CLOSER TO HOME.

I WILL JUST HAVE TO USE MY INNATE

INVADER SURVIVAL SKILLS TO GET US OUT OF HERE.

SEE, GIR, THE ALMIGHTY TALLEST

HAVE NOT PLACED THEIR TRUST IN ME WITHOUT REASON.

I MISS YOU, CUPCAKE.

I WILL USE THESE PIECES OF SCRAP METAL TO FASHION A COMPASS,

USING THIS PLANET'S OWN MAGNETIC FIELD AGAINST IT.

NOW, WITNESS THE POWER OF MY COMPASS.

AW, IT LIKES ME.

PERHAPS A COMPASS IS NOT THE BEST TOOL FOR THIS SITUATION.

WHY DON'T WE ASK THE INFORMATION HUMANS FOR HELP?

I WILL NOT STOOP AS LOW AS TO ASK

THE HUMANS FOR HELP.

YOU SPEAK NONSENSE, GIR.

WE HELP OURSELVES.

WHAT...ABOUT...THE... BUS?

EXCELLENT, GIR!

WE WILL USE ONE OF THEIR OWN METHODS OF TRANSPORTATION

TO BEAT THIS REVOLTING CITY.

Bus driver: WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

I GO HOME. NOW MIND YOUR BUSINESS, BUS-SLAVE.

YOU DON'T GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT BUS FARE. [COUGHS]

FARE?

THIS AIN'T A FREE RIDE, LITTLE MAN.

YOU NEED MONEY.

YOU EXPECT ME TO PAY TO BE ON THIS FILTHY MACHINE?

HAVE YOU THE BRAIN WORMS?

AAAHHH!

FINE! I DON'T NEED YOUR BUS!

I WILL USE THE POWER OF YOUR SUN TO FIND MY WAY.

WEIRDO.

ARE WE GONNA RIDE THE SUN HOME?

NO, GIR!

I CAN USE THE EARTH'S SUN TO DETERMINE WHICH DIRECTION IS WEST.

THE EARTH'S SUN ALWAYS SETS IN THE WEST.

NOW, WATCH ME AMAZE YOU.

HMM! MM-MM.

MMMM.

WAIT A MINUTE.

I'M BLIND!

NO! NO NO!

AH! AH! NO!

THEY'VE BOOBY TRAPPED THEIR SUN SOMEHOW!

A MINOR SETBACK, GIR.

WE'LL BE HOME IN NO TIME.

I'LL JUST WAIT UNTIL THE SKIN GROWS BACK ON MY EYEBALLS.

GIR!

I CAN SEE.

I CAN SEE!

NOW WE CAN FIGURE OUT HOW TO ESCAPE THIS FILTHY PLACE.

[MUMBLING]

GET A JOB, YOU BUM!

THAT'S IT! IF WE CAN FIND A JOB,

WE CAN MAKE MONEY.

WITH THIS MONEY,

WE CAN RIDE THE BUS.

I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU, CITY.

YOU WON'T MAKE A FOOL OF THIS IRKEN INVADER!

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

Gir: I'M GONNA EAT A RAT!

FINALLY, WE ARE HEADING HOME.

[TRAFFIC SOUNDS]

I SMELL DOOKIE.

[COUGHING SOUNDS]

EEK.

I CANNOT STAY ON THIS BUS ANY LONGER!

Woman: FREAK.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!

THIS PLACE IS JUST BEGGING TO BE DESTROYED.

WOO! I LIKE DESTROYING.

GIR...I HAVE A PLAN.

OCULAR IMPLANTS ARE STANDARD INVADER ISSUE.

FROM THE TOP OF THAT BUILDING,

MY INCREDIBLE EYES SHOULD BE ABLE

TO SPOT OUR NEIGHBORHOOD.

COME ON.

'KAY.

ICE CREAM!

[GRUNTING] SOMEBODY BUY IT!

ICE CREAM. I GOT ICE CREAM.

[SIRENS]

[CARS SCREECH]

OH!

IT'S HIM!

HEY, THAT'S THE GUY!

AND HE'S BACK FOR...

MOOOOORE...!

GET HIM!

AAAHHH!

[GIR GIGGLING]

AAAHHH!

OK, NOW, WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

THERE! THAT LOOKS ABOUT RIGHT.

NOW, GIR, USE YOUR JETS TO FLY US HOME.

YES, SIR!

AAAAAAHHHHH!

[CAT MEOWS]

WHAT HAPPENED? HOW DID YOU RUN OUT OF FUEL THAT QUICKLY?

I EMPTIED IT OUT.

EMPTIED IT? WHY?

TO MAKE ROOM FOR THE TUNA.

OK.

HEY!

[COUGHING] WHERE TO?

YOU THINK I WON'T BE READY.

BUT YOU'RE WRONG, PRESUMPTUOUS CAB-BEAST.

I HAVE PREPARED MYSELF FOR THIS MOMENT,

AND IT HAS PAID OFF IN FULL!

YOU SEE, THE INVADERS LEARN FROM THEIR MISTAKES,

HOWEVER RARE THEY MAY BE.

NOW, HUMAN, TAKE ME TO--THAT WAY!

AND QUICKLY.

IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED,

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GO HOME!

[MUSIC]

BY U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND NICKELODEON

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--