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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,171 --> 00:00:21,994 Calvin. 2 00:00:22,093 --> 00:00:23,553 Calvin. 3 00:00:29,418 --> 00:00:31,970 I was watching that. 4 00:00:33,428 --> 00:00:34,457 Do you hear that? 5 00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:35,549 Hear what? 6 00:00:35,583 --> 00:00:37,240 I think I hear the baby crying. 7 00:00:37,339 --> 00:00:39,726 The baby in the house next door? 8 00:00:39,825 --> 00:00:42,577 Yes. What if Daphne is crying? 9 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,773 You know, Marty and Courtney, they don't know what to do. 10 00:00:44,797 --> 00:00:46,852 They're new parents. Okay, babe, 11 00:00:46,952 --> 00:00:48,510 look, they'll figure it out. 12 00:00:48,609 --> 00:00:51,891 I know you loved having that baby over here the first night, 13 00:00:51,990 --> 00:00:54,807 but her place is with her parents. 14 00:00:56,066 --> 00:00:58,884 Come on now. Come on. Okay, fine. 15 00:00:58,983 --> 00:01:00,573 I know I'm not crazy. 16 00:01:00,574 --> 00:01:02,464 I know I heard the baby crying. 17 00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:05,513 You ain't heard nothing crying from all the way over here. 18 00:01:14,991 --> 00:01:17,477 Where did you leave her pacifier? 19 00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,533 Shh. I don't want to wake Malcolm up. 20 00:01:21,721 --> 00:01:24,307 Oh, good, you're already up. 21 00:01:24,406 --> 00:01:26,494 Technically, I am still up. 22 00:01:26,593 --> 00:01:27,952 I never fell asleep. 23 00:01:28,050 --> 00:01:29,708 Is something on your mind, Malcolm? 24 00:01:32,028 --> 00:01:35,044 Yeah, I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm concerned about plastic straws. 25 00:01:35,045 --> 00:01:36,735 Oh, they're making them out of pasta now. 26 00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:39,089 I don't give a damn about them straws. 27 00:01:40,049 --> 00:01:42,601 Look, it is impossible to get any sleep around here. 28 00:01:42,701 --> 00:01:45,121 No offense. I love my niece, 29 00:01:45,122 --> 00:01:47,276 but she has got our mama's lungs. 30 00:01:52,777 --> 00:01:55,362 You not even gonna wipe that off? 31 00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:57,682 Why? 32 00:02:00,533 --> 00:02:02,355 Hey, Marty, how about you trade 33 00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:03,913 and let Malcolm sleep out here? 34 00:02:04,045 --> 00:02:06,112 I'm sure it's quieter than being next door to Daphne. 35 00:02:06,201 --> 00:02:09,350 I can hear everything through those thin walls. 36 00:02:09,449 --> 00:02:11,636 Daphne crying, Courtney pumping, 37 00:02:11,736 --> 00:02:13,360 Marty crying. 38 00:02:13,459 --> 00:02:15,547 I'm just so tired. 39 00:02:23,370 --> 00:02:24,595 Where you going? 40 00:02:24,596 --> 00:02:27,578 I just remembered. I need some kumquats. 41 00:02:28,971 --> 00:02:30,993 Nobody "needs" kumquats, 42 00:02:31,092 --> 00:02:32,882 especially not at 2:00 in the morning. 43 00:02:34,538 --> 00:02:36,163 I got a craving for kumquat marmalade. 44 00:02:36,263 --> 00:02:38,815 Are you gonna tell me that I don't need marmalade? 45 00:02:39,577 --> 00:02:41,442 Babe, this is literally the first time in my life 46 00:02:41,466 --> 00:02:43,554 I ever heard you say the word "marmalade." 47 00:02:44,913 --> 00:02:46,737 And you only going to that kumquat tree 48 00:02:46,836 --> 00:02:49,090 because it's next to Marty's kitchen window. 49 00:02:49,189 --> 00:02:50,880 You're spying. 50 00:02:50,979 --> 00:02:52,305 Okay, well, I'm going over there. 51 00:02:52,438 --> 00:02:53,805 Don't you go over there. I'm going over there. 52 00:02:53,829 --> 00:02:55,452 Don't you go over there. 53 00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:58,800 She going over there. 54 00:03:00,026 --> 00:03:02,093 โ™ช Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood โ™ช 55 00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:03,607 โ™ช Welcome to the hood. โ™ช 56 00:03:17,860 --> 00:03:21,703 What's up, party people? 57 00:03:22,533 --> 00:03:25,019 Let's freakin' go. 58 00:03:25,847 --> 00:03:27,835 I haven't slept in two days. 59 00:03:27,935 --> 00:03:31,349 There is no party, and I'm not freakin' going anywhere. 60 00:03:31,448 --> 00:03:33,570 Uh-oh. Baby? 61 00:03:33,669 --> 00:03:36,717 Baby. Up crying half the night. 62 00:03:36,718 --> 00:03:38,144 Hey, man, I'm exhausted, too, 63 00:03:38,276 --> 00:03:39,635 and you don't hear me complaining. 64 00:03:39,734 --> 00:03:43,180 Well, you don't get to complain. It's your baby. 65 00:03:44,075 --> 00:03:45,502 You know, if you want, 66 00:03:45,503 --> 00:03:47,954 I could come over and handle the overnight feedings, 67 00:03:48,053 --> 00:03:49,679 and then give her some breakfast, 68 00:03:49,777 --> 00:03:51,996 have a quick bath, take her for a walk, 69 00:03:51,997 --> 00:03:53,920 have some lunch, a nap, and then, uh, 70 00:03:54,019 --> 00:03:55,677 have her back in time for dinner. 71 00:03:55,810 --> 00:03:58,660 Mama, we really appreciate everything that you've done, 72 00:03:58,792 --> 00:04:00,317 but we got it. 73 00:04:00,450 --> 00:04:03,232 Anyway, I hate to run, but I have got a date 74 00:04:03,233 --> 00:04:04,725 with a little lady who 75 00:04:04,726 --> 00:04:06,648 wants to throw up in my mouth. 76 00:04:09,929 --> 00:04:13,409 I am so tired, and I have a midterm tomorrow. 77 00:04:13,509 --> 00:04:15,631 You know what? 78 00:04:15,730 --> 00:04:17,585 I'm-a get a room at the Marengo Suites. 79 00:04:17,684 --> 00:04:18,514 Hmm. 80 00:04:18,613 --> 00:04:20,304 That's smart thinking, 81 00:04:20,305 --> 00:04:22,788 'cause nobody is getting any sleep around here 82 00:04:22,789 --> 00:04:24,546 until that baby gets some sleep. 83 00:04:24,645 --> 00:04:26,337 Wait, Gemma. 84 00:04:26,469 --> 00:04:27,925 I have a solution. 85 00:04:27,926 --> 00:04:31,009 The magic blue chair. The magic blue chair. 86 00:04:31,109 --> 00:04:33,164 Let's freakin' go. 87 00:04:33,992 --> 00:04:36,014 Uh, what-what's the magic blue chair? 88 00:04:36,114 --> 00:04:38,103 Oh, it's this super snuggly vibrating chair 89 00:04:38,202 --> 00:04:39,594 that no baby can resist. 90 00:04:39,694 --> 00:04:41,184 Sounds great. Where is it? 91 00:04:41,185 --> 00:04:44,498 Ooh, it's in my attic. Calvin... I'm telling you, 92 00:04:44,499 --> 00:04:48,112 Grover used to sleep 21 hours a day in this thing. 93 00:04:49,404 --> 00:04:53,018 Hearing that out loud, that probably wasn't good. 94 00:04:53,150 --> 00:04:55,238 Let's freakin' go. 95 00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:57,591 You know what? 96 00:04:57,657 --> 00:04:59,050 Y'all go ahead. 97 00:05:03,789 --> 00:05:04,917 Found it. 98 00:05:05,016 --> 00:05:06,704 Ooh. Maybe before we give it to them, 99 00:05:06,705 --> 00:05:10,351 we should peel the 14-year-old Cheerios off it first. 100 00:05:12,242 --> 00:05:13,303 Hey, Gem, look at this. 101 00:05:13,402 --> 00:05:15,522 It's a bunch of old lists I made. 102 00:05:15,622 --> 00:05:17,642 "Rockin' Band Names." 103 00:05:17,642 --> 00:05:19,830 "Top Ten Dogs." 104 00:05:19,831 --> 00:05:23,345 Ooh. "Things to Do Before I'm 40." Huh. 105 00:05:23,477 --> 00:05:25,168 "Ride a camel." 106 00:05:25,267 --> 00:05:27,422 "Scale the Sears Tower." 107 00:05:28,581 --> 00:05:30,968 Man, I haven't done any of these things. 108 00:05:31,067 --> 00:05:33,387 "Meet Mr. T." 109 00:05:33,388 --> 00:05:35,775 "Franchise a Boston Market." 110 00:05:36,602 --> 00:05:39,917 "Learn Japanese 'the hard way.'" 111 00:05:40,015 --> 00:05:41,707 What does that even mean? 112 00:05:41,806 --> 00:05:43,297 Well, I don't remember. 113 00:05:44,391 --> 00:05:46,215 But I haven't done it. 114 00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:49,162 I mean, I haven't done any of these things. 115 00:05:49,163 --> 00:05:51,384 "Party like a rock star." 116 00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:53,573 "See five geysers." 117 00:05:53,673 --> 00:05:56,092 Come on, how many geysers are there? 118 00:05:56,191 --> 00:05:58,014 Gemma, this is awful. 119 00:05:58,147 --> 00:05:59,504 I'm over 40, 120 00:05:59,604 --> 00:06:01,991 and what have I accomplished? Nothing. 121 00:06:02,125 --> 00:06:05,735 Hello, you have a wife and a child. 122 00:06:05,736 --> 00:06:08,421 Come on, everyone has those, big whoop. 123 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:13,723 Okay. Okay, wait, look at number 11. 124 00:06:13,857 --> 00:06:16,376 "Leave Kalamazoo, move to a big city." You did that. 125 00:06:16,475 --> 00:06:19,889 Yeah, because you got this great job here. 126 00:06:20,719 --> 00:06:22,509 Slept my way into that. 127 00:06:29,071 --> 00:06:30,960 Yes, hello, room service. 128 00:06:31,059 --> 00:06:34,473 Do I need to have a child to order off the kids' menu? 129 00:06:36,361 --> 00:06:37,523 I understand. 130 00:06:38,251 --> 00:06:41,366 Then my son will be having the dino nuggets, 131 00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:44,814 the mac and cheese, and your finest IPA. 132 00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:54,989 What the hell? 133 00:06:55,089 --> 00:06:56,912 Did you go and steal that baby? 134 00:06:58,867 --> 00:07:01,817 What? No. I'm not crazy. 135 00:07:01,916 --> 00:07:04,271 I just hid a baby monitor in a stuffed animal 136 00:07:04,370 --> 00:07:06,126 in Daphne's nursery. 137 00:07:08,015 --> 00:07:10,070 Now I can be sure to hear if my baby needs help. 138 00:07:10,169 --> 00:07:12,390 Tina, you the one that need help. 139 00:07:13,750 --> 00:07:15,208 Shh, shh, shh, shh. 140 00:07:15,308 --> 00:07:17,494 You hear that? She needs to burp. 141 00:07:17,495 --> 00:07:21,174 Okay, you know what? This has gone too far. 142 00:07:21,273 --> 00:07:23,758 Do you realize that you are already over there, 143 00:07:23,759 --> 00:07:25,152 all day every day? 144 00:07:25,251 --> 00:07:27,836 And now I don't have to be. 145 00:07:27,968 --> 00:07:30,653 Burp. There it is. I told you. 146 00:07:30,752 --> 00:07:33,205 That's it. That's it. 147 00:07:33,305 --> 00:07:34,762 I'm not gonna be a part of this. 148 00:07:34,896 --> 00:07:36,388 Well, where you going? I don't know, 149 00:07:36,487 --> 00:07:38,011 but you need to be stormed out on. 150 00:07:44,309 --> 00:07:47,424 Set my alarm for 8:00 a.m. 151 00:07:47,523 --> 00:07:48,916 Mm-hmm. 152 00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,496 Before I forget... 153 00:07:52,628 --> 00:07:54,252 Mm. 154 00:07:55,246 --> 00:07:57,632 Oh, God, no. 155 00:07:59,687 --> 00:08:02,007 Your mother is driving me crazy. 156 00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:04,029 You know... Ooh. This a good idea. 157 00:08:04,030 --> 00:08:05,985 I do not want to be disturbed. 158 00:08:08,073 --> 00:08:09,663 What side the bed you want? 159 00:08:16,690 --> 00:08:20,900 Mm. Parking lot view, but it'll do. 160 00:08:22,259 --> 00:08:25,540 Yes, it'll do, for me. Pop, look, why are you here? 161 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:28,556 You know I love your mama, right? 162 00:08:28,689 --> 00:08:31,076 But I need me some alone time. 163 00:08:32,533 --> 00:08:34,855 Ooh, uh, you gonna finish these dino nuggets? 164 00:08:34,954 --> 00:08:36,876 I was planning to. 165 00:08:36,976 --> 00:08:38,069 Never mind. 166 00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:39,560 You got honey mustard. 167 00:08:39,659 --> 00:08:42,776 I raised you better than that. We ketchup people. 168 00:08:44,466 --> 00:08:48,244 Now, this bed does look comfy. I haven't slept in days. 169 00:08:48,378 --> 00:08:49,503 Man. Ooh. 170 00:08:49,504 --> 00:08:51,724 Oh. 171 00:08:52,984 --> 00:08:55,371 Th-This is my bed, Pop. 172 00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:57,558 We in a hotel, man. You can get your own. 173 00:08:57,691 --> 00:08:59,945 And pay for two rooms? 174 00:09:00,044 --> 00:09:01,668 Boy, I raised you better than that now. 175 00:09:03,259 --> 00:09:04,982 Listen, if that's room service, 176 00:09:05,081 --> 00:09:07,634 see if they got some ketchup for the dino nuggets. 177 00:09:07,734 --> 00:09:09,988 Get your own ketchup, man. 178 00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,805 Oh, good, Malcolm, it's you. Oh, my God. 179 00:09:12,938 --> 00:09:14,097 Ugh. 180 00:09:14,195 --> 00:09:15,921 All right. I found him! 181 00:09:16,020 --> 00:09:17,147 Yeah, sorry about all that. 182 00:09:17,245 --> 00:09:19,501 Lovely meeting all of you. 183 00:09:22,383 --> 00:09:23,675 Why are you here? 184 00:09:23,676 --> 00:09:26,195 Aw, man. I forgot to turn off my ringer. 185 00:09:26,327 --> 00:09:28,581 Then I got a Scrabble alert, and that woke up the baby. 186 00:09:28,681 --> 00:09:30,315 She started screaming, then Courtney started screaming, 187 00:09:30,338 --> 00:09:32,260 then she said, "I'm counting to three." 188 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:33,454 I was in the car by two. 189 00:09:33,554 --> 00:09:35,673 Boy, that is a good move, 'cause trust me, 190 00:09:35,807 --> 00:09:37,795 you do not want to see three. 191 00:09:37,895 --> 00:09:39,984 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 192 00:09:40,083 --> 00:09:41,739 This ain't your room. 193 00:09:42,602 --> 00:09:45,386 Uh, Pop, this ain't your room. 194 00:09:46,844 --> 00:09:48,337 But I'm already in the bed. 195 00:09:53,705 --> 00:09:55,561 Hey, Courtney. Hey. 196 00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:56,754 Yeah, some of your mail 197 00:09:56,854 --> 00:09:58,112 was accidentally delivered to my house. 198 00:09:58,113 --> 00:09:59,548 I just wanted to make sure you got it. 199 00:09:59,573 --> 00:10:01,825 It's addressed to "current resident." 200 00:10:01,958 --> 00:10:03,781 Yeah, that's you. 201 00:10:03,881 --> 00:10:07,129 Oh, my little gumdrop. 202 00:10:07,229 --> 00:10:09,580 Are you sure she should be moving that fast? 203 00:10:09,581 --> 00:10:12,266 Oh, she's fine. You know, studies show 204 00:10:12,365 --> 00:10:14,256 a consistent lateral gliding motion 205 00:10:14,388 --> 00:10:17,038 increases the number of sleep-related brain oscillators, 206 00:10:17,039 --> 00:10:19,261 and you stopped listening, didn't you? 207 00:10:19,392 --> 00:10:20,518 You know, I'm just gonna, uh, 208 00:10:20,618 --> 00:10:22,309 turn this thing down to "slow." 209 00:10:22,408 --> 00:10:23,843 Well, that's not slow, that's unplugged. 210 00:10:23,866 --> 00:10:24,859 Yeah, that works, too. 211 00:10:25,987 --> 00:10:28,109 Oh, I know. I know. 212 00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:30,330 Yes, your mama Tina 213 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:33,545 just saved you from that terrible machine. 214 00:10:33,644 --> 00:10:35,234 Oh, yes, 215 00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:36,825 she did. 216 00:10:39,544 --> 00:10:42,295 Malcolm, hey, before I hop in, 217 00:10:42,429 --> 00:10:43,654 are you taking the shower cap? 218 00:10:43,754 --> 00:10:45,775 The one you're wearing, Marty? 219 00:10:45,875 --> 00:10:47,134 No, you can keep it. 220 00:10:48,659 --> 00:10:51,509 God, does anybody know what "do not disturb" means? 221 00:10:52,371 --> 00:10:54,691 Okay. Good, you're all here. 222 00:10:54,790 --> 00:10:56,051 You can ignore the group text. 223 00:10:56,149 --> 00:10:57,542 Uh, we did. I already did. 224 00:10:57,673 --> 00:10:58,934 I blocked you. I blocked you. 225 00:10:58,935 --> 00:11:00,457 All right, now, I need you to be honest with me. 226 00:11:00,458 --> 00:11:02,778 This is not helpful if you're not honest. 227 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,695 Have I wasted my life? 228 00:11:05,795 --> 00:11:07,485 Wasted? 229 00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:09,738 Dave, you have a wife and child. 230 00:11:09,838 --> 00:11:11,760 Gosh, you sound just like Gemma. 231 00:11:11,894 --> 00:11:13,120 Look. Look at this. 232 00:11:13,219 --> 00:11:15,838 I made this list 20 years ago. 233 00:11:15,937 --> 00:11:17,560 All of my life goals. 234 00:11:17,660 --> 00:11:19,582 Oh, damn, he's about to read it. 235 00:11:22,168 --> 00:11:23,692 I am 42 years old, 236 00:11:23,825 --> 00:11:25,647 and I have only seen two geysers, 237 00:11:25,648 --> 00:11:28,731 one of which was Old Faithful, and that's just a gimme. 238 00:11:29,593 --> 00:11:31,216 Well, Dave, you know what they say. 239 00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:33,239 You can't compare yourself to people 240 00:11:33,338 --> 00:11:35,956 who've seen more geysers than you. 241 00:11:36,056 --> 00:11:36,918 Oh. 242 00:11:37,017 --> 00:11:40,033 If only it was just the geysers. 243 00:11:40,896 --> 00:11:42,319 I've never ridden in a sidecar, 244 00:11:42,419 --> 00:11:44,242 I never got my Frasier reboot off the ground 245 00:11:44,341 --> 00:11:47,855 and I have never once partied like a rock star. 246 00:11:49,346 --> 00:11:51,003 I think they did a Frasier reboot. 247 00:11:51,004 --> 00:11:52,960 I know, 248 00:11:53,059 --> 00:11:54,618 and it was magnificent. 249 00:11:54,717 --> 00:11:55,710 All right, you know what? 250 00:11:55,744 --> 00:11:57,036 Dave, calm down, 251 00:11:57,169 --> 00:11:59,025 you're bringing down the vibe in my hotel room. 252 00:11:59,124 --> 00:12:00,449 It is not 253 00:12:00,549 --> 00:12:02,140 your hotel room. 254 00:12:02,239 --> 00:12:03,831 Wait a minute. 255 00:12:03,964 --> 00:12:05,356 What do you got in that mini fridge? 256 00:12:05,455 --> 00:12:06,848 Ain't no ketchup. 257 00:12:09,001 --> 00:12:10,128 Okay, all right. 258 00:12:10,261 --> 00:12:12,912 Two Amstel Lights and a mini chardonnay. 259 00:12:13,012 --> 00:12:15,265 Tonight, I'm partying like a rock star. 260 00:12:15,364 --> 00:12:17,288 This hotel room is getting trashed. 261 00:12:17,387 --> 00:12:18,713 Oh. Okay, okay. 262 00:12:18,845 --> 00:12:20,403 Uh, they have my credit card on file. 263 00:12:20,503 --> 00:12:21,794 Let's not get crazy, Dave. 264 00:12:21,895 --> 00:12:24,480 That's exactly what we are going to do. 265 00:12:24,579 --> 00:12:25,804 Get crazy. 266 00:12:25,805 --> 00:12:28,855 Marty, crank the clock radio to Jack FM. 267 00:12:31,174 --> 00:12:32,733 I'm not gonna do that. 268 00:12:33,463 --> 00:12:34,953 Okay, fine. One of you guys 269 00:12:35,086 --> 00:12:36,877 pop that chardonnay. 270 00:12:38,267 --> 00:12:40,156 I'm gonna throw the TV out the window. 271 00:12:41,283 --> 00:12:42,277 Again, again, 272 00:12:42,411 --> 00:12:43,638 my card is on file. 273 00:12:43,737 --> 00:12:45,759 It's about to get lit in here, man. 274 00:12:45,858 --> 00:12:47,681 We're doing this thing right! 275 00:12:50,862 --> 00:12:53,581 It's really... They screwed it all the way into the wall. 276 00:12:53,681 --> 00:12:55,171 All right, okay, look, look. 277 00:12:55,273 --> 00:12:57,070 If we're really gonna turn this thing into a party, 278 00:12:57,094 --> 00:12:58,321 let's just get some glasses, 279 00:12:58,420 --> 00:12:59,812 we'll get the ice filled up, 280 00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:01,436 let's get the thing rolling, okay? 281 00:13:01,437 --> 00:13:02,729 Hoo-hoo-hoo! 282 00:13:02,828 --> 00:13:04,717 This tiny chardonnay must be really good 283 00:13:04,718 --> 00:13:06,608 because it is $30. 284 00:13:07,535 --> 00:13:08,794 Okay, all right. 285 00:13:08,893 --> 00:13:10,187 I'm going to my car. 286 00:13:10,188 --> 00:13:11,777 I'm getting my Scattergories. 287 00:13:11,909 --> 00:13:13,733 Uh, no, no, no. You know what? 288 00:13:13,831 --> 00:13:15,556 You go to your car and leave. 289 00:13:15,655 --> 00:13:16,814 All of you, right now. 290 00:13:16,815 --> 00:13:18,373 You know what? That's right, Malcolm. 291 00:13:18,473 --> 00:13:20,296 Everybody get on out of here. Go, now. 292 00:13:20,395 --> 00:13:21,687 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 293 00:13:21,821 --> 00:13:23,378 You, too, Pop. 294 00:13:23,477 --> 00:13:25,333 Everybody got to go. Right now. Out. 295 00:13:25,433 --> 00:13:27,355 Me? Yeah, you. 296 00:13:27,454 --> 00:13:29,311 Ain't no ketchup in here, man. 297 00:13:36,801 --> 00:13:39,188 COURTNEY Hey, Marty, I'm sorry I snapped at you before. 298 00:13:39,321 --> 00:13:40,414 Ooh, you'd better be. 299 00:13:40,514 --> 00:13:42,402 You were way out of line. 300 00:13:42,403 --> 00:13:44,027 I just lost it. 301 00:13:44,955 --> 00:13:46,612 Yeah, giving my son the countdown. 302 00:13:46,711 --> 00:13:47,904 That's my move. 303 00:13:47,905 --> 00:13:49,794 You know, I got to admit, 304 00:13:49,893 --> 00:13:51,485 I'm so tired, I don't even remember 305 00:13:51,583 --> 00:13:53,043 what we were fighting about. 306 00:13:53,142 --> 00:13:55,031 Well, anyway, your mother stopped by. 307 00:13:55,131 --> 00:13:57,120 She's so sweet. Aw. 308 00:13:57,219 --> 00:13:58,910 But, boy, she can be a lot. 309 00:14:00,998 --> 00:14:02,853 What? 310 00:14:02,952 --> 00:14:04,686 She came up with excuses just to show up here 311 00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:05,870 five times today. 312 00:14:05,969 --> 00:14:09,613 Uh... Oh... 313 00:14:09,614 --> 00:14:11,304 To take that baby out of that 314 00:14:11,404 --> 00:14:14,354 oscillating death saucer? My bad. 315 00:14:15,714 --> 00:14:17,568 Okay, now that's my mother you're talking about. 316 00:14:17,569 --> 00:14:18,961 That's right, you tell her, Marty. 317 00:14:19,062 --> 00:14:20,968 And if I know my mother, she definitely came here 318 00:14:21,083 --> 00:14:22,939 more than five times. 319 00:14:24,166 --> 00:14:27,877 I mean, that woman is incapable of staying in her lane. 320 00:14:27,977 --> 00:14:30,561 Watch your mouth, Marty. 321 00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:34,538 I've been a little scared to handle Daphne 322 00:14:34,672 --> 00:14:36,758 alone in my apartment, but... 323 00:14:36,759 --> 00:14:38,782 I think it's time. 324 00:14:40,075 --> 00:14:41,467 Your apartment? 325 00:14:41,565 --> 00:14:44,912 Well... But that's all the way across town. No. 326 00:14:44,913 --> 00:14:47,134 That's out of my range. 327 00:14:49,819 --> 00:14:51,741 Gemma, I'm telling you, 328 00:14:51,841 --> 00:14:54,559 David Lee Roth couldn't get that TV off the wall. 329 00:14:54,659 --> 00:14:56,548 Dave, listen to yourself. 330 00:14:56,681 --> 00:14:58,802 And I'm not talking about now David Lee Roth, 331 00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:01,254 I'm talking about "Hot for Teacher" David Lee Roth. 332 00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:05,429 Dave, stop. 333 00:15:05,430 --> 00:15:07,850 Why did you even want all these things? 334 00:15:07,983 --> 00:15:09,141 I don't know. 335 00:15:09,274 --> 00:15:10,568 Look, I was young, 336 00:15:10,667 --> 00:15:12,423 and everything seemed possible. 337 00:15:12,523 --> 00:15:14,147 And now it's too late. 338 00:15:14,279 --> 00:15:15,937 Too late? For what? 339 00:15:16,036 --> 00:15:17,196 The kid who wrote this list 340 00:15:17,197 --> 00:15:18,655 thought 40 was old. 341 00:15:18,755 --> 00:15:20,743 But it's not. You're just beginning. 342 00:15:20,843 --> 00:15:22,069 Come on. 343 00:15:22,201 --> 00:15:24,388 Think about where Marty and Courtney are. 344 00:15:24,522 --> 00:15:26,013 With a newborn? 345 00:15:26,113 --> 00:15:29,228 Their next 13, 14 years, they're screwed. 346 00:15:30,851 --> 00:15:32,277 But Grover's in eighth grade. 347 00:15:32,278 --> 00:15:34,167 He went to the mall tonight with some friends, 348 00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:35,577 then they're sleeping at Dexter's. 349 00:15:35,658 --> 00:15:37,281 We are going to be freer 350 00:15:37,282 --> 00:15:39,171 than we've been in years. Okay. 351 00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:41,127 To do what? 352 00:15:41,259 --> 00:15:42,354 Anything we want. 353 00:15:42,453 --> 00:15:44,409 I mean, we can start being stupid again. 354 00:15:44,509 --> 00:15:45,635 Let's just pick one 355 00:15:45,735 --> 00:15:47,058 and set it for this weekend. 356 00:15:47,059 --> 00:15:50,276 Number eight, swimming with sharks, boom. 357 00:15:52,496 --> 00:15:53,688 Really? 358 00:15:53,689 --> 00:15:56,241 They do shark-diving trips off Catalina. 359 00:15:57,500 --> 00:15:58,959 Okay. 360 00:15:59,057 --> 00:16:00,617 Yeah. 361 00:16:00,716 --> 00:16:02,406 Yeah, we could do that. 362 00:16:02,506 --> 00:16:03,831 We could definitely do that. 363 00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:04,957 Although, you know, the water is pretty cold 364 00:16:04,958 --> 00:16:06,317 this time of year. Yeah. 365 00:16:07,510 --> 00:16:09,232 Okay, number nine, then. 366 00:16:09,233 --> 00:16:11,157 Run with the bulls in Pamplona. 367 00:16:11,256 --> 00:16:13,310 We've been saving for a trip, we could do that. 368 00:16:13,409 --> 00:16:14,801 Yeah. When I wrote this list, 369 00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:17,288 I didn't know how mean they were to the bulls. 370 00:16:17,387 --> 00:16:19,112 Number ten. 371 00:16:19,243 --> 00:16:21,165 Eat every part of a cow. 372 00:16:21,166 --> 00:16:23,089 Yes, I can do that. 373 00:16:23,221 --> 00:16:24,711 I mean, over time. Not in one sitting. 374 00:16:24,811 --> 00:16:25,837 No, of course not. 375 00:16:25,838 --> 00:16:27,364 How about this weekend, 376 00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:28,855 we go out for burgers? 377 00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:30,710 And not just any burgers. No? 378 00:16:30,809 --> 00:16:32,170 Smash burgers. Ooh. 379 00:16:32,302 --> 00:16:34,126 Number ten, I'm coming for you. 380 00:16:34,225 --> 00:16:36,015 Mark-mark... mark it off. 381 00:16:36,147 --> 00:16:38,732 Who knows, maybe we'll even see Mr. T. 382 00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:41,450 Come on, Mr. T! 383 00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:45,461 Hey, babe. I'm back. 384 00:16:45,594 --> 00:16:47,051 You were gone? 385 00:16:47,847 --> 00:16:50,165 See, that's exactly it. 386 00:16:50,166 --> 00:16:52,388 You're so obsessed with that baby monitor, 387 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,774 you didn't even notice I was gone. 388 00:16:54,874 --> 00:16:56,498 How could I notice? 389 00:16:56,597 --> 00:16:58,851 Daphne's moving back to Courtney's place. 390 00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:00,376 Who told you that? 391 00:17:00,475 --> 00:17:01,868 Marty and Courtney. 392 00:17:02,695 --> 00:17:04,353 Well, what did you say? 393 00:17:04,452 --> 00:17:07,800 Well, they didn't tell me personally. 394 00:17:07,899 --> 00:17:09,888 I heard it on the baby monitor. 395 00:17:13,004 --> 00:17:14,560 You know that's messed up, right? 396 00:17:14,660 --> 00:17:16,185 No, no, no. You know what's messed up? 397 00:17:16,186 --> 00:17:18,506 They said that I was a lot. 398 00:17:20,030 --> 00:17:21,787 Well, you definitely not a little. 399 00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:24,139 Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa. 400 00:17:24,140 --> 00:17:25,631 You agree with them? 401 00:17:25,632 --> 00:17:28,780 Okay. Say what you got to say. 402 00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:30,868 Okay, here's the thing, Tina. 403 00:17:30,968 --> 00:17:32,558 Your feelings wouldn't even be hurt 404 00:17:32,659 --> 00:17:34,447 if you weren't listening in 405 00:17:34,448 --> 00:17:36,602 to other people's private conversations. 406 00:17:36,703 --> 00:17:38,491 Marty and Courtney are not "other people." 407 00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:40,651 And they don't know what they're doing with my baby. 408 00:17:40,713 --> 00:17:42,204 Okay. 409 00:17:42,303 --> 00:17:44,127 And, see, that's the other thing. 410 00:17:44,226 --> 00:17:45,917 She is not your baby. 411 00:17:46,017 --> 00:17:48,168 You know who you're starting to sound like? 412 00:17:48,169 --> 00:17:49,728 Don't you say it. I'm gonna say it. 413 00:17:49,861 --> 00:17:51,649 Don't you say it. I'm gonna say it. 414 00:17:51,650 --> 00:17:52,986 Don't you say it. I've got to say it. 415 00:17:53,010 --> 00:17:53,838 My mother! 416 00:17:53,937 --> 00:17:55,893 Damn it, you said it. 417 00:17:56,026 --> 00:17:57,584 I had to say it, Tina. 418 00:17:57,683 --> 00:17:59,373 It had to be said. 419 00:18:00,567 --> 00:18:03,251 You remember when my mama used to re-diaper Malcolm? 420 00:18:03,351 --> 00:18:04,212 Huh? 421 00:18:04,312 --> 00:18:05,670 It made you mad, didn't it? 422 00:18:05,804 --> 00:18:06,930 No. 423 00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:09,879 It was helpful. 424 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,305 Tina... 425 00:18:11,404 --> 00:18:12,299 I hated it. 426 00:18:12,398 --> 00:18:13,690 You know, 427 00:18:13,691 --> 00:18:15,449 I had just made the perfect diaper, 428 00:18:15,549 --> 00:18:18,993 and she was always saying, "Oh, that's too loose, Tina. 429 00:18:18,994 --> 00:18:20,849 "Oh, that's not enough powder, Tina. 430 00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:24,132 Oh, that's not a diaper, Tina. That's a washcloth." 431 00:18:24,231 --> 00:18:27,147 I mean, it happened one time. 432 00:18:27,247 --> 00:18:28,938 I was exhausted! 433 00:18:29,668 --> 00:18:33,212 Well, you're doing the same thing to Courtney. 434 00:18:35,003 --> 00:18:36,925 You're right. 435 00:18:36,926 --> 00:18:39,810 What? Ooh, uh... 436 00:18:39,942 --> 00:18:41,400 I need to get that on my phone. 437 00:18:41,401 --> 00:18:42,958 You-you said I'm right. 438 00:18:43,057 --> 00:18:44,726 Say it again, one more time, say I'm right. 439 00:18:44,814 --> 00:18:46,669 Just repeat right here 440 00:18:46,670 --> 00:18:47,864 into the camera. I'm right. 441 00:18:47,963 --> 00:18:49,785 Say it. "I'm right." 442 00:18:49,886 --> 00:18:51,177 Say... 443 00:18:51,178 --> 00:18:53,300 Would your mama say it again? 444 00:18:57,972 --> 00:18:59,200 Your sugar must be low. 445 00:18:59,299 --> 00:19:00,890 I'm gonna get you a cookie. 446 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,060 So, tonight, you're sleeping at Mommy's, 447 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,413 but Daddy will see you tomorrow morning. 448 00:19:09,740 --> 00:19:11,264 Hello? 449 00:19:11,363 --> 00:19:12,424 Mom? 450 00:19:12,557 --> 00:19:14,081 Since when do you knock? 451 00:19:14,180 --> 00:19:17,925 People can change. I respect your privacy. 452 00:19:18,820 --> 00:19:20,046 Okay. 453 00:19:20,147 --> 00:19:21,705 We need to tell you something. 454 00:19:21,804 --> 00:19:24,190 Ooh, before you do, I just wanted to let you know 455 00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:25,880 that I do realize, at some point, 456 00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:28,267 you're going to want to take Daphne back to your place. 457 00:19:28,366 --> 00:19:29,493 Well... Um... 458 00:19:29,592 --> 00:19:30,819 And that's okay. 459 00:19:30,919 --> 00:19:32,243 That's okay. I just wanted to let you know 460 00:19:32,244 --> 00:19:33,669 that when you do come back here, 461 00:19:33,768 --> 00:19:36,785 I promise to work on 462 00:19:36,917 --> 00:19:38,509 staying out of your space, 463 00:19:38,608 --> 00:19:40,828 'cause I know I can be a lot. 464 00:19:43,513 --> 00:19:45,238 You? What? That's crazy. 465 00:19:45,337 --> 00:19:46,761 Who said that? 466 00:19:46,860 --> 00:19:48,917 But I will always be there 467 00:19:49,016 --> 00:19:50,572 for you two and Daphne, 468 00:19:50,671 --> 00:19:52,197 whenever you need me. 469 00:19:52,330 --> 00:19:53,855 But only when you need me. 470 00:19:53,987 --> 00:19:56,539 So don't be scared to say when you need me, 471 00:19:56,672 --> 00:19:57,907 because when you need me... Okay, Mommy? Mommy. 472 00:19:57,931 --> 00:19:59,754 I need you to stop. 473 00:19:59,854 --> 00:20:01,511 But thank you, Mrs. B. 474 00:20:01,610 --> 00:20:03,698 I will definitely need you. 475 00:20:03,798 --> 00:20:06,151 Courtney, you're a good mom. 476 00:20:06,250 --> 00:20:07,443 Really? 477 00:20:07,576 --> 00:20:08,538 No... 478 00:20:08,539 --> 00:20:10,427 No, I know that you are, 479 00:20:10,526 --> 00:20:11,952 I just didn't think that she did. 480 00:20:12,847 --> 00:20:15,597 Well, I will leave you to it. 481 00:20:15,696 --> 00:20:18,282 I just want to take this adorable cow 482 00:20:18,381 --> 00:20:21,696 as a keepsake for my baby Daphne. 483 00:20:21,795 --> 00:20:23,751 Okay, bye, y'all. See you later. 484 00:20:26,933 --> 00:20:28,060 It's almost like she heard 485 00:20:28,159 --> 00:20:29,560 what we were talking about last night. 486 00:20:29,584 --> 00:20:31,142 That cow was definitely wearing a wire. 487 00:20:31,971 --> 00:20:33,926 I swear, that bear's eye 488 00:20:34,026 --> 00:20:35,418 looks like a camera lens. 489 00:20:35,516 --> 00:20:37,183 Yeah, I don't like the look of this duck, either. 490 00:20:37,207 --> 00:20:38,399 Captioning sponsored by CBS 491 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:39,826 and TOYOTA. 492 00:20:44,102 --> 00:20:47,515 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 31973

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