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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,583
Morty, hurry!
2
00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:04,998
Return the Truth Tortoise!
3
00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:07,246
Morty, whatever you do,
don't drop the Truth Tortoise!
4
00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:08,417
Also really important,
5
00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:10,382
whatever you do,
don't look into its eyes!
6
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:13,048
I-I did look at it, Rick!
I've been looking at it!
7
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,215
Now you're gonna know
everything, Morty!
8
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,055
Good job! Way to go!
You fucked everything up!
9
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:18,220
[Speaking gibberish]
10
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,514
It's in my head!
[Screams]
11
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:21,477
Ah!
12
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,480
[Screams]
13
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,859
Oh, geez, I-I can't get that
Truth Tortoise out of my head.
14
00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:30,773
Yeah, I told you not
to look into its eyes.
15
00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:32,817
Hey, Morty, let's watch
some interdimensional cable.
16
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:33,815
Remember how we used to do that?
17
00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:35,612
Rick, I can't - I can't go on.
18
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:36,859
I-I can't go on like this
19
00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:38,406
with the Truth Tortoise shit
in my head.
20
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:39,620
I-I wish you could just -
21
00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:41,910
Erase the memory from your mind?
22
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,749
How did you know
I was gonna say that?
23
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,413
Come on, Morty, come with me.
24
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,662
After you.
25
00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:50,502
What the hell is this?!
26
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:52,216
This, Morty, is my archive
27
00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,506
of all the experiences
you've begged me to remove
28
00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:56,925
from your life,
lest you go insane.
29
00:00:57,057 --> 00:01:00,641
I call them
Morty's Mind Blowers.
30
00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:03,010
And we'll be doing this instead
of interdimensional cable.
31
00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:05,725
[Dramatic music plays]
32
00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:37,003
How long have I been asking you
to remove memories?
33
00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:39,346
Since the first [burps] time
your mind was blown.
34
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:40,839
Ahh, here it is.
[Burps]
35
00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:42,262
Classic.
[Blows]
36
00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:43,634
There's no dust on it because
37
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,260
this isn't the first time
we've done this.
38
00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:49,231
-What?I
-I call this one "Moonspiracy"!
39
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:50,895
[Laughs]
40
00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:54,771
[Insects chirping]
41
00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:57,443
MORTY: Huh, wow.
That's incredible.
42
00:01:58,994 --> 00:01:59,904
What the heck?
43
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,992
Morty, do you realize
how ridiculous that sounds?
44
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,239
Yeah, pretty crazy story, Morty.
45
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:06,206
Are you serious?
46
00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:08,872
Half the crap we've seen,
and you think that sounds crazy?
47
00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:10,586
I've been to 300 versions
of Earth's moon,
48
00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:12,546
including this one,
and I've never seen signs
49
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,631
of a "regular dude,"
as you describe him,
50
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:15,625
hanging out up there.
51
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:17,718
It's probably just
a smudge on the lens.
52
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:21,214
Smudge on the lens?
Smudge on the lens?!
53
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:23,387
I know the difference between
a man threatening me
54
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:25,429
and a smudge on
the goddamn lens, Summer!
55
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,394
Morty, calm down!
Are you feeling okay?
56
00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:29,263
I'm fine!
57
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:30,889
So sensitive.
58
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:33,063
[School bell rings]
59
00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:34,731
PRINCIPAL VAGINA: Kids,
I'd like to introduce you all
60
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:37,776
to our new guidance counselor,
Mr. Lunas.
61
00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:40,275
I look forward
to helping guide you all
62
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,526
towards a brighter future.
63
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:45,030
I believe every
student should...
64
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,452
shoot for the moon.
65
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,753
Got you now, you son of a bitch.
66
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:55,839
[Camera shutter clicking]
67
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,300
What's this?
68
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,920
Proof that Mr. Lunas
isn't who he says he is!
69
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:02,091
He's not a guidance counselor?
70
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:05,057
I-I assume he's qualified
to be one. Who isn't?
71
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:08,268
But he also lives on the moon.
72
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:10,183
Okay.
73
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:12,773
Hmm.
Is that it?
74
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,266
Is he doing anything
to hurt anyone?
75
00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:15,893
Oh, he's up to something.
76
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,316
I think I understand.
77
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,359
"Up to something,"
"lives on the moon."
78
00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:21,732
Okay, I'll talk to him.
79
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:32,826
[Tires screeching]
80
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:34,957
What did he say?
81
00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:37,081
Denied the moon stuff,
but that's what pedophiles do.
82
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,423
They deny.
It's their bread and butter.
83
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:39,792
-Pedophile?
-You don't think so?
84
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,168
I thought the moon thing
might have been code.
85
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,295
No, he's literally
from the moon!
86
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:44,513
Well, you saw him react.
87
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:47,178
Moon or not,
that dude likes 'em young.
88
00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:53,143
[Siren wails]
89
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:55,186
Gordon Lunas was a good Marine.
90
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:57,559
We don't know what drove him
to take his own life,
91
00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:59,528
but we want to remember
the good things.
92
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:00,896
Like how, from a certain angle,
93
00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:04,366
some people would say
he looked like a smudge.
94
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,280
[Squeak]
95
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:10,906
Oh, my God, what have I done?
96
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:12,407
What have I done?
97
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,369
Jesus, I made that guy
kill himself!
98
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:16,586
Only in a literal sense.
99
00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:19,833
Here's one I call
"Morty's [burp] Menagerie."
100
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,003
They don't all
have titles, though.
101
00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:22,626
It's not a "Simpsons"
Halloween special,
102
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:26,222
more like a clip show made
of clips you never saw!
103
00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,095
I can't believe we got
put into a menagerie.
104
00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:31,264
So this guy collects
living beings?
105
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:32,978
RICK: Yeah, you know like
commemorative plates,
106
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,062
but less off-putting.
107
00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:36,228
You'll get it when you're still
actively dating in your 405.
108
00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,225
Assess this with
cold indifference,
109
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:39,192
you veiny-headed prick!
110
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:41,528
-[Crash!]
-Hey, keep it down!
111
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,272
Just our luck, menagerie beneath
112
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:45,319
the "boulder people"
of Granitor Seven.
113
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:46,487
I can't take it anymore, Rick!
114
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,076
-[Banging]
-Relax, Morty!
115
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:50,537
I can't relax! R-R-Rick, we --
we gotta get outta here!
116
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,201
I don't care what it takes!
Anything!
117
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:53,870
-Anything?
-Anything!
118
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:55,709
All right, well, you're gonna
have to take off your shirt.
119
00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,703
Not yet.
I'll tell you when.
120
00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,796
[Sonar pinging]
121
00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:02,462
[Chattering]
122
00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,301
Dear God.
123
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:05,885
What?
124
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:08,301
The signal turned out to be -
125
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:10,265
there's no other way
to put it --
126
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,100
-Instructions.
-For?
127
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:15,142
A vehicle, sir,
an interstellar vehicle.
128
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:17,890
We'll need a pilot.
I wonder if there's a volunteer.
129
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:18,857
130
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:22,194
Oh, the schematics specify
a second, smaller pilot.
131
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,313
I mean, they really
specify smaller.
132
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,781
They have to be exactly 5'3".
133
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:29,368
Chang, you may have majored
in Liberal Arts,
134
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,783
but I think you're about
to make history.
135
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:34,077
[Grunts]
136
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:35,324
WOMAN:
Primary systems, check.
137
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:37,417
Auxiliary systems, check.
138
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:38,957
See you soon.
139
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,874
Okay, now.
140
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:46,672
Greetings.
141
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:47,795
You're --
You look...
142
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:50,389
We've possessed forms
your mind can accept.
143
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,724
Here are some customary
clothing gifts.
144
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,435
Please, put them on.
145
00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:56,679
-May we?
-Of course, yes.
146
00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,271
We followed your instructions.
147
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,983
We have so much
to learn from you.
148
00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:02,522
I know, right?
149
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:06,238
[Creak]
150
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:11,365
Hey, how come I was able to see
those other people's memories?
151
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,157
I-I wouldn't have been
around for that.
152
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:14,780
Yeah, sometimes I gotta do
a little editing, Morty.
153
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,077
It helps the mind blowers
154
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,791
play a little bit better
upon revisiting.
155
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:21,128
I call this one
"The Whole Enchilada.
156
00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:23,588
Here, Morty, this'll make
your urine drinkable.
157
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,799
Now can we keep shopping?
158
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,463
I am Zikzak.
159
00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:29,883
Ah, shit, Morty, get behind me.
It's a fucking alien overlord!
160
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,676
It's okay.
Here.
161
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,139
Oh, I misjudged.
162
00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:35,851
MORTY: "I am Floop Floopian.
Please kill me."
163
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:36,844
That's right, Morty.
164
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:39,597
The Floop Floopians achieve
an eternal orgasmic afterlife,
165
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,974
so long as they're killed
by a great warrior.
166
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,896
I'm flattered, by the way.
Thank you very much.
167
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,360
So you're gonna kill him?
168
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,195
Eh, let's get some lunch first.
169
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,410
So, you want to get shot
in the head, or --
170
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,074
Well, as long as
the wound is fatal,
171
00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:56,446
I don't really mind
where you shoot me.
172
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:57,994
Cool.
I'm gonna go take a quick shit.
173
00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:00,618
Well, I gotta say.
You know, I'm a little envious.
174
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,711
Your species has
an actual afterlife.
175
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,001
-That's gotta be nice.
-Wh-What do you mean?
176
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,795
Well, you know, here on Earth,
w-we don't know what's going on.
177
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,965
It must be nice for you guys to,
you know, have that --
178
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,383
have that proof's in
the pudding, you know, evidence.
179
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:17,427
Evidence?
There's supposed to be evidence?
180
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:20,020
Um, yeah, uh...
181
00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:24,107
Otherwise,
how do you know if it's true?
182
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:26,226
[Clears throat]
183
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,149
Wait, you don't...
184
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,698
All right, so you want
to do this here or outside?
185
00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:33,032
[Weapon cocks, powers up]
186
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:34,822
Run!
187
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,195
[Door slams open]
188
00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:37,617
I don't wanna die!
189
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,285
[Horn honks]
190
00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:42,288
[Chanting]
191
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,707
Oh, God, it's all real!
Oh, it hurts!
192
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,329
Oh, I shouldn't have doubted it!
193
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,332
I shouldn't have let
you make me doubt it!
194
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,051
Aah!
I blame you, I blame you!
195
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,295
But he said there
wasn't any evidence!
196
00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:54,546
That was a ton of evidence!
197
00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:55,639
Well, silver lining.
198
00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:56,882
Now I know their
religion's real.
199
00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,759
They have a hell,
and it does not look good.
200
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,806
I noticed you never finished
your chimichanga,
201
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:03,897
so I got some room for it now,
if you know what I mean.
202
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,311
Holy shit!
203
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,480
How many of these are just
horrible mistakes I've made?
204
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:08,977
I mean, maybe
I'd stop making so many
205
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:10,229
if I let myself learn from them!
206
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,276
Don't break your back
creating a lesson, Morty.
207
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:13,570
It's a freeform anthology.
208
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:15,238
I'm getting annoyed
you're not hearing that.
209
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,327
As you can see around me,
your mind's been blown
210
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:21,540
countless times,
and not always by yourself.
211
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,284
Ah, shit, I don't even --
212
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:24,660
This better not
have been a good one.
213
00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:25,661
What is this?
214
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,879
Great, "Booger AIDS,"
"AIDS Booger."
215
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,498
I gotta start using
real file names.
216
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,216
In the meantime,
enjoy a grab bag
217
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:35,588
of mind blowers I call
"Poop AIDS underscore copy."
218
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:38,011
ALIEN WARLORD: I'm not
an unreasonable man, Beth Smith.
219
00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:40,259
I know children are everything
to a mammal.
220
00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:42,762
I will spare one of their lives.
221
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,729
You simply have to choose.
222
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,145
Summer!
Summer.
223
00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:52,278
You're not gonna believe this.
224
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:53,989
I went to Phoebe
instead of Titan.
225
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:56,404
It's, like, hello, Saturn,
after 10 moons,
226
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,903
time to stop naming and start
numbering, you know?
227
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,280
What's -- Wh-What's
with you assholes?
228
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,327
Morty, please, don't do this.
229
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:04,621
[Evil laugh]
230
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,039
[Voice echoing]
Your Morty is gone!
231
00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:09,129
I am Voltamatron,
Destroyer of Worlds!
232
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,544
Grandpa Rick, there must be some
scientific way to save him!
233
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,667
Not scientific,
but there may be a way.
234
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:16,295
Morty, I know you're in there.
It's me, your grandpa.
235
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,047
I know I can be mean,
but I love you, Morty.
236
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:19,639
We all do.
You gotta fight this thing.
237
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,179
I know you can.
You're stronger than all of us!
238
00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:23,643
Morty, it's Mom! We love you.
You have to fight it!
239
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:26,230
Come on, Morty!
Fight that stupid worm thing!
240
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:27,267
-We love you!
-[Screaming]
241
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,606
SUMMER:
We love you so much!
242
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,317
RICK: Yes, Morty, come on,
you're doing it!
243
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,982
You're doing it!
You're doing it!
244
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,821
[Gagging, coughing]
245
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,531
Should we pull it out?
246
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,991
No, don't touch it.
Just keep loving Morty!
247
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,077
We still love you.
248
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,163
But I do have a thing at 6:00.
249
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,702
Oh, God, do I have to
keep looking?
250
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,996
Geez, Morty, come on,
pinch it off already!
251
00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:49,335
-[Laughter]
-[Screaming]
252
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:52,126
Don't! Oh. God, sorry, Morty.
I love you!
253
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,248
[Whimpering]
254
00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:54,966
God, is there going to be
an intermission?
255
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,757
Excuse me, but I ordered
the large evil space worm.
256
00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,505
I know, it's like,
is that a demon slug
257
00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:01,382
in your stomach,
or are you just happy to --
258
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,259
-[Screaming]
-Sorry!
259
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:06,261
Well, I guess it's nice to know
the whole family sucks!
260
00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:07,762
So if the blue ones are my fault
261
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:10,391
and the purple ones are my
family's, what are the red ones?
262
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:13,019
Yeah, d-don't read
into it, Morty!
263
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:14,360
[Birds chirping]
264
00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:16,025
Ahh.
265
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:18,524
Shit! We need to find shelter
before the sunset, Morty.
266
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:21,027
Venzenulon Nine has a night
temperature of 300 below!
267
00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:23,073
We'll freeze, Morty!
W-We'll be dead in seconds!
268
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:25,288
I-I think I saw
a cave over there.
269
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:26,497
You've seen
too many movies, Morty.
270
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,368
A cave isn't gonna cut it.
We're gonna have to use Beebo.
271
00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:32,041
Beebo led us to water!
He's our friend!
272
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,709
-He won't even feel it!
-Oh, no, no!
273
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:36,379
[Beebo groans]
274
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:39,131
You wanna die, Morty?
Get in Beebo!
275
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:41,847
Oh, no, no!
276
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,057
Brace for the ice limit.
277
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,767
Here it comes!
278
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:53,354
Wait, are we on Venzenulon Nine
or Venzenulon Seven?
279
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:56,812
Wait a minute. Why would I ask
for that to be removed?
280
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,609
Are the red ones stuff
you wanted removed?
281
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,278
Ooh, that's clever, Morty, but
I don't use color to sort things
282
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,402
because I'm not a mouse in
a European children's book.
283
00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,279
Then why are all those
pink ones by the liquor?
284
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,247
Liquor?
285
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:09,286
[Ray guns blasting]
286
00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:14,496
[Both sigh]
287
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:16,623
-Shit, that was close.
-We lost Captain Sky.
288
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:18,249
He gave his life
for the uprising.
289
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,548
Yeah. It really makes
you think, huh, Morty?
290
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,421
We should never take
things for granite.
291
00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:24,218
-What?
-I'm just saying. life's short.
292
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,715
We shouldn't take things
for granite.
293
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,763
-Are you saying "granite"?
-Well, yeah.
294
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:29,682
It's "granted," with a "D."
295
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:32,556
Take things for granted.
Did you actually think it was --
296
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,433
[Laughs]
Jesus Christ, Rick,
297
00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:36,685
what are you, a boulder --
a rock person?
298
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,152
How long have you been
saying that wrong?
299
00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:39,271
Oh, you like that, huh?
300
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,398
I b-b-bet that really
blows your mind.
301
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:42,865
I mean, yeah,
it's kind of great.
302
00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:45,156
-You want me to erase it?
-What, you can do that?
303
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:47,279
-[Buzzing]
-Ah, shit.
304
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,656
I fucking knew it,
you piece of shit!
305
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:52,159
You - You -
You're a fucking asshole. Rick!
306
00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,002
Take it easy, Morty.
Come on. Just relax.
307
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,495
No, I'm not gonna fucking relax!
Come here!
308
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:56,713
Let go of me, you little bitch!
309
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:57,922
I'm gonna grab you
by the scruff of your --
310
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,713
-Take that!
-Ohh!
311
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,552
-Umm.
-Umm. Uhh.
312
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,091
-What --
-What's going on?
313
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,214
-Where am I?
-Who are we?
314
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:08,308
-Who am I?
-I think I'm an adolescent boy.
315
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,894
Huh, and I'm an elderly man.
316
00:12:11,022 --> 00:12:15,141
And we appear to be in some kind
of secret confined space.
317
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:17,813
-Yeah, umm...
-Don't look at me like that.
318
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:20,404
For all we know, you could be
the fuckin' weirdo.
319
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,486
Huh, these things are
obviously storage units,
320
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:26,360
and since we can't remember
what went wrong,
321
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:29,204
my guess is that the technology
involves memory
322
00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:32,495
and that this thing on your head
is designed to...
323
00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,209
Tell us the code, jagoff!
324
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:35,702
[Speaking alien language]
325
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,169
It's pointless.
He's stonewalling.
326
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,505
Rick, if we don't unlock
those vaccines, Earth dies!
327
00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:41,591
You know, it might be time
to step up your interrogation!
328
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:42,959
Not sure what
you're implying, Morty,
329
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,757
but some lines I don't cross.
330
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:46,505
Yeah, well,
I crossed every line I had
331
00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:49,053
when this bastard
tried to kill Jessica!
332
00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:51,096
[Speaking alien language]
333
00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:54,938
Okay, see those two fleshy sacs
under his chin, Morty?
334
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,056
Grab 'em.
335
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:58,395
You remember the codes now?
336
00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:01,520
-Twist!
-[Screaming]
337
00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:03,988
Give us the codes, man!
Twist harder, Morty!
338
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,949
-Harder!
-[Screaming]
339
00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:08,284
Okay, let go, let go,
let him breathe.
340
00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:09,699
[Speaking alien language]
341
00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:11,117
He wants to make a deal.
342
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:13,536
Half the codes now,
half after you finish.
343
00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:15,454
But can we trust --
Wait, what?
344
00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:16,542
F-Finish what?
345
00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:17,581
Y-You know.
346
00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:19,296
I thought I was torturing him!
347
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:20,789
Oh, and this disappoints you?
348
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,461
Do I tell him we don't
have a deal, Morty?
349
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:23,879
Because if we can
kill our enemies
350
00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:27,004
but we can't jack them off, then
how are we better than them?
351
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,801
Well, what did you find out?
352
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:30,515
We're partners, I guess,
353
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:33,260
and we fight aliens,
like "Men in Black"?
354
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:34,978
"Men in Black," "Men in Black."
355
00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,517
I have "Men in Black 2" in here.
356
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,139
So -- So you get
the general idea.
357
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:39,687
[Laughs]
Not quite.
358
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,480
It's basically an endless string
of callbacks to --
359
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:44,730
All right, save it for YouTube.
I'll keep looking for clues.
360
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:49,985
What are you doing?
361
00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:51,407
You want your shelf
level or not?
362
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:54,122
And if I say yes, you're gonna
provide that for me with that?
363
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,285
Yes, see the bubble?
364
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,000
I'm familiar with
the bubble, Morty.
365
00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:58,914
I also dabble in precision,
366
00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:00,958
and if you think
you can even approach it
367
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,081
with your sad, naked,
caveman eyeball
368
00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:05,584
and a bubble of fucking air,
you're the reason this species
369
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,085
is a failure,
and it makes me angry!
370
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,086
You're drunk.
371
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:10,008
You want to put up a shelf,
put up a shelf.
372
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,257
You want to experience
true level?
373
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:15,010
-Do you?
-[Sighs dramatically] Y-yes.
374
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,777
[Powering up]
375
00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:26,738
Ugh, all right, come on.
376
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,402
[Sighs]
377
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,913
Wow, it's so --
378
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:39,160
Oh, oh, oh, oh, my God, oh,
Christ, ooh, ooh, ooh, ahh.
379
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:41,662
Oh, yeah, true level, bitch.
380
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:44,005
Morty, come on,
we're leaving for school.
381
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,670
Oh, everything's crooked!
Reality is poison!
382
00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:48,009
I want to go back!
I hate this!
383
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:49,218
-What's his deal?
-Can't live like this!
384
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:51,008
Shh, shh, shh, shh, Morty,
Morty, Morty.
385
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,881
Go to school, Summer.
I'll go in Morty's memory
386
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,428
and do a little --
[Clicks tongue]
387
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,801
Lambs to the cosmic slaughter!
388
00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,178
Well?
389
00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:01,523
You seem to be in charge
of what I get to remember.
390
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:03,562
-Why?
-Good question.
391
00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:07,312
Morty, I need darkness to prime
these optical inductors.
392
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,689
Hit the leftmost light switch
by the door for me.
393
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:10,691
The left.
394
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:14,070
[Click, click, click]
395
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:19,624
Okay, lights on.
396
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:20,992
[Sighs]
397
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:24,087
So, did I just hear three
distinct light switch clicks?
398
00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:25,501
W-W-What do you mean?
399
00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:27,590
I feel like the three sounds
I heard could be explained
400
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:30,506
by an initial erroneous flipping
of a switch on the right
401
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:32,470
followed by a hasty,
corrective flipping
402
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:33,633
of the requested switch.
403
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:36,428
Then during the resultant
darkness and silence, a third,
404
00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:39,519
shameful unflipping of
the initially flipped switch.
405
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,433
Is my assessment accurate?
406
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:44,900
Yeah, that's -- that's basically
how -- how it all shaked out.
407
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:48,145
-I'm sorry.
-Ugh. All right, come on.
408
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:50,443
-What?!
-Come on!
409
00:15:56,831 --> 00:15:59,243
[High-pitched tone]
410
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,128
-[Click, tone ends]
-Grab a shovel.
411
00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:07,372
W-What is -
412
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,499
Grab a shovel!
413
00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:11,676
[Click]
414
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,260
What was that?
415
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:18,341
I can't find a goddamn
zip tie anywhere!
416
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,594
All right, fuck it!
417
00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:22,220
[Beeping]
418
00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:25,018
[Magnetizing]
419
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,858
Ahh, zip tie.
420
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,398
[Powering down]
421
00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:33,857
[Beeping]
422
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,404
[Magnetizing]
423
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:38,244
[Women screaming]
424
00:16:44,045 --> 00:16:45,581
Why are you making me
do this for you again?
425
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:48,080
Who doesn't wish they could
talk to animals, Rick?
426
00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:49,456
Most humans!
427
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,458
There, I'm done.
Just stay out of trouble!
428
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:54,256
Gotta keep moving.
Can't stop.
429
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:56,425
Up, down, down, up, up, up,
down, up, stop, down.
430
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,013
The queen needs food.
The babies need food.
431
00:16:58,142 --> 00:16:59,678
The queen makes babies.
432
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:02,181
MALE VOICE:
The situation in Argentina
433
00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:03,599
has proven less convenient
than predicted.
434
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,972
We'll have to re-destabilize
their economy,
435
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:08,395
refocus labor class outrage
from upper to middle,
436
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,485
foster a coup, and install
a compliant regime.
437
00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:11,478
MALE SQUIRREL:
Same as Guatemala?
438
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:12,820
Yes, but you can double-time it.
439
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,155
We need a quorum
to pick a new pope
440
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,820
in case the Exxon/Monsanto thing
falls through in Africa.
441
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,411
Why not use chemtrails?
Put a canopy on Uganda.
442
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,325
They're set to agitate
any mo-- What?
443
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,164
That kid is watching us.
444
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:24,874
So, we're squirrels.
He's a kid.
445
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:28,040
He's watching us like he hears
what we're saying.
446
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:30,664
Hey, kid. Young man?
Come here, little boy.
447
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,383
Tell Daphne to run a 199
on a possible Dolittle.
448
00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:36,344
Little boy! We'll give you
wishes if you can hear us!
449
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,383
We can make you fly
and get candy.
450
00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:40,848
[Squirrels chittering]
451
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,604
[Whistling]
452
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,973
Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!
Fuck me! Fuck me!
453
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:51,442
[Panting] Rick!
454
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,733
RICK: Ah, shit, Morty,
what did you do?
455
00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:56,526
[Powering up]
456
00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:58,491
-[Zap!]
-[Squirrels screeching]
457
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,576
All right, Morty,
pack your shit!
458
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,696
That's only gonna keep 'em down
for a little bit, Morty!
459
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,163
You fucked with
squirrels, Morty!
460
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:05,498
We got a good five minutes
461
00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:07,412
before they're backing up
on our ass, Morty!
462
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,661
We have to pack up and move
to a new reality, Morty!
463
00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:12,255
You know I said we could
only do that a couple of times!
464
00:18:12,383 --> 00:18:15,341
We're fucked over here because
of these damn squirrels, Morty!
465
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:17,301
I don't know what
my reaction is,
466
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,013
but I think I'm mounting
in suspicion of you.
467
00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:22,428
-Well, what are you gonna do?
-I'm gonna remember everything!
468
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,391
Everything!
469
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:26,561
-[Screams]
-[Laughs]
470
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:28,388
[Screams]
471
00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:29,480
-[Farts]
-[Laughs]
472
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:33,480
Yeah!
473
00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:39,023
474
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:41,735
Ah!
475
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:44,991
476
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,535
[Crying]
477
00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,460
Well, what'd you find out?
478
00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:57,755
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what
are you gonna do, kill me?
479
00:18:57,887 --> 00:19:00,720
No, I'm not gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill myself!
480
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:02,509
All those memories just erased!
481
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,224
Sitting in this room
collecting dust!
482
00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:07,140
W-What's the point of going on
if most of everything
483
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,933
that happens just ends up
sitting in here?
484
00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:12,307
All right, kid.
485
00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:14,309
I don't know much aside from
the fact that "Men in Black 2"
486
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:17,563
was a joyless cash grab, but I
do know that whatever you have
487
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,939
brewing around in your noggin
really connected with you.
488
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,066
I can't deny that,
489
00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:23,614
and I can't deny that I'm
inspired by your passion.
490
00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:25,612
I want in.
Suicide pact!
491
00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:27,659
-[Ray gun powers up]
-Yes, yeah, let's do it!
492
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:30,329
Together, you old
son of a bitch! On three!
493
00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:31,576
494
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:32,827
Two...
495
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:36,001
You guys doing
Morty's Mind Blowers?
496
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:37,840
Morty's Mind Blowers?
497
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:40,255
[Sighs] Grandpa,
is this a scenario three?
498
00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:42,720
Uh, w-what's that,
and w-who are you?
499
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:45,681
Oh, man, it's a scenario four.
500
00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:53,556
-[Spits]
-[Dart gun shooting]
501
00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:04,651
Ugh, fucking God damn it!
502
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,573
I don't get paid enough
for this shit!
503
00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:10,665
There's a Craftsman nearby.
I can smell it.
504
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:13,034
Whoa, what -- what --
505
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:14,080
Can I help you?
506
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,921
H-How did we fall asleep during
interdimensional cable?
507
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,665
-Yeah, what the hell, Summer?
-Summer, you dumb bitch!
508
00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:19,916
How long were we out,
you dumb bitch!
509
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:20,962
How much interdimensional cable
did we miss, you stupid bitch!
510
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:22,881
How many improv TV shows with
commercials did we miss, Summer?
511
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:24,003
Why did you let us fall asleep?
512
00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:25,380
-You dumb bitch!
-You stupid bitch!
513
00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:26,722
All right, Morty,
fuck this noise.
514
00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:28,307
Let's get out of here
and go on a classic
515
00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:31,053
-Rick and Morty adventure.
-Yeah, right, Rick, I'm all-in.
516
00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:33,145
No wonder you're
constantly fighting
517
00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:34,856
with each other
and behind schedule.
518
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:36,474
-What?
-Nothing.
519
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:38,647
[Rock music plays]
520
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:05,253
Rick?
Hello?
521
00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:06,845
Just here for my putter.
522
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:09,432
Jerry's Mind Blowers?
523
00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:14,728
Follow the boys!
524
00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:21,527
We're charged and aimed
at Alpha Centauri,
525
00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:23,521
ready for transport.
526
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,944
They fell for it!
Let's send Gobo home!
527
00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:27,441
-[Laughter]
-All right!
528
00:21:27,578 --> 00:21:29,535
-Where's Dad?
-He should be here any second.
529
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:31,404
It's funny, Jerry spent his life
seeking attention,
530
00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,702
but in the end, humanity's
instinctive dismissal of him
531
00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,120
saved an alien's life.
532
00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:36,959
He knows where to go, right?
533
00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:38,873
Yep, any minute now.
534
00:21:39,006 --> 00:21:41,122
[Music playing]
535
00:21:43,177 --> 00:21:45,043
Did it work?
Did you guys get Gobo home?
536
00:21:45,179 --> 00:21:47,420
You have Gobo! You were supposed
to bring him to the hill!
537
00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:49,138
As if.
He was in your basket
538
00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:50,848
He was in your car!
539
00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:53,593
[Chewing]
540
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:56,558
Oh!
541
00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:58,601
Oof!
Dibs on his stuff.39945
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