Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:03,758
What's new at school?
2
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:05,384
- Nothing.
- Nothing!
3
00:00:05,464 --> 00:00:07,387
Oh, uh, one
of the lunch ladies died.
4
00:00:07,466 --> 00:00:09,389
They found her in the gym with,
like, two holes in her neck
5
00:00:09,468 --> 00:00:11,141
and all the blood drained
out of her.
6
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:12,972
Good lord! Who does
something like that?
7
00:00:13,055 --> 00:00:15,433
Obviously a vampire.
W-W-Where's the pepper?
8
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,268
Wait, what?!
Vampires are real'?!
9
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:20,230
Yes, Summer, vampires
are real. Who knew?
10
00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:22,986
Oh, right, all humanity,
for hundreds of years, now.
11
00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:24,362
Yeah, Summer,
it's a big universe.
12
00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:26,284
Get used to it.
R-Right, Rick?
13
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,532
Well, what are we
going to do?!
14
00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:29,534
We're gonna live our lives
until we die.
15
00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:31,536
Possibly by vampire.
More likely auto accident
16
00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:34,164
or heart disease,
but possibly vampire.
17
00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:37,167
Grandpa Rick, couldn't you,
like, use your superknowledge
18
00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,999
to turn yourself into a teenager
and come to our school
19
00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:42,551
and help us hunt
the vampire down?
20
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,219
Um -- Wow.
21
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,547
Yeah, pretty specific
pitch, Summer.
22
00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:49,383
I probably could
turn myself into a teenager
23
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:52,265
and hang out in the
zit-covered, hormone-addled,
24
00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,312
low-stakes assworld
that is high school.
25
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,015
But here's my reverse-ask --
26
00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:58,817
Why in the fuck
would I ever do that, ever?
27
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,111
And how dare you even
ask me that?
28
00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:02,984
And why aren't you more
ashamed of yourself?
29
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,191
- Dad!
- Be ashamed of yourself, sweetie.
30
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:07,072
Jerry! Do you know what you
just said to our daughter?
31
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,118
Sor-ry! I wasn't
paying attention.
32
00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:11,572
To a conversation
about vampires?!
33
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:14,249
Clearly, I didn't know
it was about vampires,
34
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:16,076
because I wasn't
paying attention,
35
00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:17,581
which you would know,
36
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,413
if you ever
paid attention to me!
37
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,419
Oh, here we go,
right to the victim role.
38
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:23,091
Am I a victim, Beth,
39
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:24,884
or am I married
to a mean, unfair monster
40
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,177
that always hurts me?!
41
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:28,176
Jesus Christ!
Will you fix your marriage...
42
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:31,259
or get a divorce already?
43
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:35,346
Well, we tried
a couples' therapist.
44
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,976
That's Earth therapy.
45
00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:38,682
You might as well ask a horse
to fix a merry-go-round.
46
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,735
I mean, he'll try his best, but mostly,
he's just gonna get horrified.
47
00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:44,605
I know about a place off-planet
with a 100% success rate.
48
00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:47,157
Well, we want to make it
work, if we can.
49
00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:48,609
It's just --
- Then it's settled.
50
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:50,114
No need to pack.
- Oh!
51
00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:51,615
Let's go, go, go, go!
[ door opens, closes ]
52
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:54,699
Do you think Mom and Dad
are, you know,
53
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,158
gonna get a divorce?
54
00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:57,993
I think it's okay
to dream, Morty.
55
00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:01,797
I'm gonna go make
some wooden stakes.
56
00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:03,757
♪♪
57
00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:29,491
♪♪
58
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,369
I booked you for a two-day
intensive at Nuptia Four,
59
00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:39,122
the galaxy's most successful
couples' counseling institute.
60
00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:40,669
They could save
the marriage of a dog
61
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,291
and a bar of dark chocolate.
62
00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:43,668
They could save
the marriage
63
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:45,374
of a porn star
and a porn star.
64
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,084
Well, I know I'm ready
to try whatever it takes.
65
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,760
Which clearly implies
that I'm not.
66
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,212
It's not
a competition, Beth.
67
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,093
Oh is that how
you're gonna try to win,
68
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,095
by implying I'm competitive?
- If the shoe fits.
69
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,926
- My shoe fits up your ass.
- You wish!
70
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,852
RICK: Okay, have fun.
See ya Thursday!
71
00:02:58,095 --> 00:02:59,517
JERRY: Oh!
72
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:01,519
Jerk.
- Don't insult my father.
73
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,521
He's the reason our kids
are only half-stupid.
74
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,227
Ha! You just called
yourself --
75
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,436
Oh.
76
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,113
- Beth and Jerry Smith?
- Yes.
77
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,690
I'm Glaxo Slimslom.
78
00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:11,696
Welcome to Nuptia Four.
79
00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:14,244
Your marriage
can rest easy now.
80
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:18,791
Jerry, go ahead and sit
there and put this on.
81
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:21,539
This machine isolates
the part of the subject's brain
82
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:24,838
containing all perceptions
of its romantic partner.
83
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,959
And we will now render
Jerry's perception of Beth
84
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:31,420
with artificial
biological life.
85
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,716
- [growl ]
- GLAXO: Interesting.
86
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:37,722
What the hell is that?!
Take that back!
87
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,553
You do not think that
about me!
88
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,388
I didn't do anything!
They scanned it out of my brain.
89
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,144
Can I take it back?
90
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,691
There's nothing to regret.
91
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,814
We're dealing with
unconscious, unhealthy thoughts.
92
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:48,440
Beth.
93
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,773
Now, we scan for Beth's
perceptions of Jerry.
94
00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:53,484
- Scan hard. He's dead to me.
- Everything's dead to you.
95
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,069
- What?
- Nothing.
96
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:01,120
[whimper]
97
00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:02,746
Read it and weep, bitch.
98
00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:04,453
[ Crying ] Does everybody
see what I mean?
99
00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:06,755
I think we all see
what you both mean.
100
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,332
[ Bell rings]
101
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,338
Any leads
on the vampire?
102
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,839
No, Summer!
I mean, you know,
103
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:14,012
I think it might be time
that we just l-let it go.
104
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,760
Oh, so, now, you're
too cool for this,
105
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,261
just because
Grandpa Rick is?
106
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:19,308
It's not that, it's just
that the universe
107
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,603
is a little too big to care
about something so small.
108
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:24,022
Aah!
- What up, my Helsings?
109
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,940
Who wants to hunt
a vampire? Ha ha ha!
110
00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:27,605
Rick?
How -- How did you --
111
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:29,277
Yeah, I got bored
and then, I remembered,
112
00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,320
this morning, how I blew
Summer off, and I thought,
113
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:33,069
"Hey, why are you such
a grumpy douche, Rick?
114
00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:34,616
Go to the garage,
transfer your mind
115
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,318
into a younger clone of
yourself,
116
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,153
and get embroiled
in some youthful hijinks.
117
00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:39,909
What's the BFD?"
So here I am.
118
00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:42,032
I'm Tiny Rick!
- O-O-Okay.
119
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,662
Well, it's good
you're here, Rick.
120
00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:44,914
I was pretty sure we
didn't have what it takes
121
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,503
to deal with
a bloodsucker on our own.
122
00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:47,921
Don't short-sell
yourself, Summer.
123
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,964
You got everything it takes.
But it'll still be fun...
124
00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:52,710
to do this as a fucking team,
motherfucker. Tiny Rick!
125
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:55,637
Yeah! Oh, my god,
Toby Matthews!
126
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:57,931
Hey, Toby. I'm Tiny Rick.
I'm new.
127
00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:00,141
Hey oh -- Go easy on me.
Ha ha. Just kiddin'.
128
00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:02,595
Hey, I like your
straightforward style
129
00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:04,429
and that lab coat's
pretty cool.
130
00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:05,810
Summer.
131
00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:07,687
He knows my name!
132
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,063
Why wouldn't he?
You're great!
133
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,610
But, listen,
just be careful.
134
00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,062
We can't rule anybody out
as the vampire,
135
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,364
not even the dreamboats.
136
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:15,611
Stop, Tiny Rick.
137
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,658
Huntin' a vampire
with my grandkids!
138
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:20,237
Fuck! Tiny Ri-i-ck!
139
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,163
GLAXO: The next step is
to watch your mythologues
140
00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:25,334
interact together
and, uh -- big surprise --
141
00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:27,786
It's never pretty.
- [ laughter]
142
00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:30,497
Here we have Garrrh
and Zharbidar Gloompfschs,
143
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:32,423
or, should I say,
here we have the way
144
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,797
Garrrh and Zharbidar
perceive each other.
145
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,970
[roaring]
146
00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:38,589
[chuckling ]
As we can all see,
147
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,800
this is hardly the real
Garrrh and Zharbidar.
148
00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:42,509
Which is good,
because the relationship
149
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:45,220
in their heads
is not only ugly,
150
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:47,556
it's unsustainable.
[beep]
151
00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:48,606
[ Roar]
152
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,559
[growling ]
153
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:53,566
You may already be
learning something important --
154
00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:55,818
All of these relationships
are different,
155
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:58,821
none of them are real,
and none of them work.
156
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:02,450
We are not the monsters
we sometimes see each other as,
157
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:06,250
because we are real
and we are functional.
158
00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:09,419
That's what makes us
better than them.
159
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:12,247
We can find solutions.
160
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,627
We can adapt.
161
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,880
We can communicate.
- [growl]
162
00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:19,680
And, most importantly,
163
00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:23,759
we can work together.
164
00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:27,145
SUMMER: Well, it was a tough
adventure, but it paid off --
165
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,188
Our school is vampire-free!
166
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:31,983
Man, who would've
suspected Coach Feratu?
167
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,901
You did great, guys.
Couldn't have done it without ya.
168
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:35,695
You know, we -- w-we
should be proud of ourselves.
169
00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:38,023
We killed a vampire
and a gym teacher.
170
00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:40,275
Ha ha ha.
Talk about two-for-one, right?!
171
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,156
So, how, exactly,
is your old body living
172
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,612
in there, Grandpa Rick?
173
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,163
Oh, you know,
hyperbaric quantum fluid,
174
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,161
[ burp]... that kind of thing.
It preserves living tissue.
175
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,208
Not that there was much
to preserve.
176
00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:52,003
Look at that mummy!
Ha! Ha ha!
177
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,456
And I guess it's time for me
to get back inside the old-timer.
178
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:56,416
Oh, my god.
Toby Matthews is asking...
179
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:58,422
if my parents
are still out of town
180
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,094
and if we can have a party!
181
00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:02,089
All right, way to go, Summer!
What did I tell you?
182
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:05,468
Ohh! He's asking
if Tiny Rick will be here.
183
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:07,177
Well, you know what, Summer?
184
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,933
Tell him Tiny Rick will be here!
185
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:10,639
And tell him to bring
some brews!
186
00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:12,975
For real? Y-Y-Y-You
would stay as Tiny Rick,
187
00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,776
just so we
can have a party?
188
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,524
Hell, yeah!
What's one more night?
189
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:19,072
And who can have fun with this
old bastard hanging around, huh?
190
00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:21,692
[ Iaughter ]
Wubby lubby doob doob!
191
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,448
- Whoo!
- Tiny Rick!
192
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:24,527
[growl ]
193
00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:28,414
Moving on.
Now, we have Beth and Jerry Smith
194
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,413
from the planet E-Arth.
195
00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:32,460
- My heart is pounding.
- This is gonna be great.
196
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:34,458
The E-Arth relationships
are simpler.
197
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:37,131
It's a primitive planet,
so their dysfunctions are oh --
198
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:38,921
W-Wait, what?
What's going on?
199
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,673
Where are the Smith
mythologues?
200
00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:43,050
[suspenseful music plays]
201
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:46,849
JERRY: Oh, my god.
202
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:48,427
- [ shriek ]
- [ gasp ]
203
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:49,853
Aah! Aah!
204
00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:52,977
- Oh, my god.
- Secure the cell!
205
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:54,933
Aaaah!
[slice]
206
00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:57,485
Uh, hey! You know what's fun?
Our gift shop.
207
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,358
Why don't we proceed
in an orderly --
208
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:00,609
[growl ]
209
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,236
[whimpering]
210
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,487
Oh, dear god, no.
211
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:06,820
They're codependent!
Run!
212
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:07,904
[roaring]
213
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:09,990
Oh!
214
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:11,700
[ Crickets chirp ]
[chatting ]
215
00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:13,535
[rock music plays]
216
00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:15,746
[ laughter ]
217
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,627
Oh, yeah, yeah,
you really know how
218
00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:19,834
to sport that color blue.
- Really?
219
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:21,839
- You're looking real good.
- Oh, my god.
220
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,920
- Hey, Morty.
- Oh, hey -- hey, Jessica.
221
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:27,508
So, is Tiny Rick your
brother or cousin, or...?
222
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,558
No, my grandpa just
transferred his consciousness
223
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,978
into a clone of himself
so he could be in our high school.
224
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:33,350
Cool.
225
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:35,478
Hey, Tiny Rick's
playing guitar.
226
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:36,729
All right, everybody.
227
00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:38,481
This next one's coming
straight from the heart.
228
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,562
Making the lyrics up
right off the top of my head.
229
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:42,022
♪ Let me out ♪
230
00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:45,405
♪ What you see is not
the same person as me ♪
231
00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:46,575
♪ My life's a lie ♪
232
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:47,994
♪ I'm not who
you're looking at ♪
233
00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:50,163
♪ Let me out, set me free ♪
234
00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:52,123
♪ I'm really old;
this isn't me ♪
235
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:57,580
♪ My real body's
slowly dyin' in a vat ♪
236
00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,289
♪ ls anybody listening' ♪
237
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,170
♪ Can anyone understand? ♪
238
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:04,844
♪ Stop lookin' at me like that
and actually help me ♪
239
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:05,920
♪ Help me! ♪
240
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,756
♪ Help me; I'm gonna die! ♪
241
00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:09,682
Tiny Rick!
Thanks, everybody!
242
00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:10,884
[ Cheering ]
This guy's amazing!
243
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:11,889
- I love Tiny Rick!
- Bad. Ass.
244
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,767
[ Hooting ]
- Yeah!
245
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,774
[ Snarl ]
246
00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:19,943
[ Hiss]
247
00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:22,737
[screaming in distance]
248
00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:23,813
[ Rattle ]
249
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:24,898
Aah!
250
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,284
[ominous music plays]
251
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,448
[growl ]
252
00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:34,874
Huh?
253
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,622
What the fuck?
254
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:38,624
Yeah, I know! What kind
of operation are you running?
255
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:41,422
Us?! What the hell kind of
relationship do you have?!
256
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:42,795
Oh, right,
blame this on us.
257
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:46,094
Okay, uh, I can and I am!
258
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:49,764
Your demonized mythologizations
of each other are cooperating.
259
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:53,093
- Isn't that good?
- No. No! It's bad!
260
00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:56,225
You have the single worst
marriage I've ever witnessed.
261
00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:58,064
It shouldn't exist!
262
00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:00,141
You should never, ever, ever,
have gotten together
263
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:02,899
and I do not understand
how, or why,
264
00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:04,945
you would ever stay
together.
265
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,273
Aaah!
266
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:07,820
Well, this is just
bad couples' therapy.
267
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:09,196
Totally.
268
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,119
[ Panting ]
269
00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:14,289
[suspenseful music plays]
270
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:17,159
- Wait for us!
- There's only room for one more.
271
00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:18,994
I'm a therapist.
I'll talk to them.
272
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,830
They're not therapists.
Go, go, go!
273
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:23,961
There's gotta be a way
to contact my dad.
274
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,917
Let's find a control room
or something.
275
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:29,004
[suspenseful music plays]
276
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:31,135
[ Creak ]
277
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:32,966
JERRY:
Beth! You'll want to see this.
278
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:35,518
- What is it?
- It's a small, hinged panel...
279
00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:38,267
with a tiny amount
of space behind it.
280
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:40,223
If you can find one, too,
281
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:43,526
we should be safe for hours,
maybe days!
282
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:45,979
You stay put, Jerry.
283
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:48,315
I'll send help,
if I make it.
284
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:50,283
You don't want to find
your own little hatch?
285
00:10:50,525 --> 00:10:53,119
Jerry, I believe that,
if you hide by yourself,
286
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:55,413
you might survive
and I believe I,
287
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,582
by myself, have a shot
of getting out of here,
288
00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,410
but the two of us,
together?
289
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:01,870
I don't know.
290
00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:03,876
Look, maybe the shrink
was right.
291
00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:06,208
Good luck.
292
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,210
[ Roar]
293
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:10,466
All right, now,
you listen to me.
294
00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:11,671
Oh! Or don't.
295
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:13,722
Hey! Don't! Please!
296
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,095
[hissing]
297
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,722
[whining]
298
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,269
Oh, god,
oh, god, Oh, god!
299
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,142
Now, I know I've said,
in the past,
300
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,973
that math is important --
And it is! --
301
00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:24,434
But I also think that,
one day, you'll all look back
302
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:28,112
on being in high school
with Tiny Rick and Morty,
303
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:31,192
who I hear had a great
party last night.
304
00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:34,574
So, class dismissed.
You've got the day off!
305
00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,825
All right! Good work,
Mr. Goldenfold!
306
00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:38,782
Yeah, get outside.
Read a book.
307
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:40,287
Put on some sunscreen,
Danielle!
308
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,039
Hey, what's up, Summer?
Ooh, nice top.
309
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:44,041
Thanks. Tiny Rick,
you think you might be
310
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,747
getting back into
your old body tonight?
311
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,753
No can do.
Tonight's the big dance.
312
00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:50,210
And Marty's bringing Jessica.
He needs his tiny wing man.
313
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,011
- BOTH: Tiny Rick!
- [ laughs ]
314
00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:54,680
Okay, but if not
tonight, when?
315
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:56,224
I don't know.
When I feel like it?
316
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:58,222
Damn, girl!
You need to chill out!
317
00:11:58,301 --> 00:12:00,395
This whole thing was your
idea, in the first place,
318
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:02,230
and, now, you're trying
to rush it along.
319
00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:04,057
Yeah, and you know what?
I like high school.
320
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,858
I like hanging out.
Tiny Rick!
321
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:08,653
But what if the you
that likes it isn't you?
322
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,321
[ Iaughter]
~ Oh!
323
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:11,989
BOTH:
Oh, Summer!
324
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,783
It's just Rick
in a younger body.
325
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,155
What's the -- What's --
What's -- What's --
326
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:16,487
What's the --
What's the problem?
327
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,242
Look at his art, Morty.
328
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:21,074
I've got an emo streak.
Part of what makes me so rad.
329
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:23,706
Why does it say "help me
Morty and Summer!"?
330
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:26,038
Come on, Summer,
that's the title of the art.
331
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,168
Why was Knight Rider
called Knight Rider?
332
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,501
The car's name was Kitt.
Nobody rode Michael Knight.
333
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,211
You're overthinking it, Summer.
I'm Tiny Rick!
334
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,217
Grandpa, I think that,
when you put your mind
335
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:36,889
into this body's
young brain,
336
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,512
it did what
young brains do --
337
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,138
It shoved the bad
thoughts into the back
338
00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:41,970
and put a wall
around them.
339
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:44,272
But those bad thoughts
are the real Rick.
340
00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:46,065
The fact that you're old,
341
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:47,813
the fact that we're all
going to die one day,
342
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,644
the fact that the universe
is so big,
343
00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:52,355
nothing in it matters --
those facts are who you are.
344
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:54,315
So you're trapped in there
and you can only come out
345
00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,993
in the form of
Tiny Rick's teen angst!
346
00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:59,412
Well, Summer, I hear
347
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:01,785
Toby Matthews
isn't into psycho chicks.
348
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:03,457
Can't think of anyone
that is.
349
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:06,123
I'll see you motherfuckers
at the dance! Tiny Rick!
350
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:07,829
Morty, you have
to help me!
351
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:09,835
Summer, he's happy!
I'm happy!
352
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,632
I-l-ls that why
you're doing this,
353
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:13,210
you don't want me
and Rick to be happy?
354
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,216
- No.
- Then get your shit together!
355
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,923
Get it all together
and put it in a backpack.
356
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,725
All your shit,
so it's together.
357
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,220
And if you gotta
take it somewhere,
358
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,680
take it somewhere,
you know?
359
00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:26,230
Take it to the shit store
and sell it
360
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,559
o-or put it in a shit museum.
I don't care what you do!
361
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,234
You just gotta
get it together.
362
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,313
Get your shit together.
363
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:36,899
[slug wailing]
364
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:40,328
[ Gasping ]
Get back!
365
00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:43,031
[ Fart]
- Wait, for real?
366
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:44,161
[whimpers]
367
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,493
You're how Beth sees me?
368
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:49,496
Oh, my god.
Turn around!
369
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,339
I said turn around!
370
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:53,587
How can Beth have
these thoughts about me?!
371
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,260
That judgmental
monster bitch!
372
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,054
I'm not taking this.
373
00:13:58,129 --> 00:13:59,472
I want to know
where my wife is.
374
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,512
You are going to
help me.
375
00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:03,806
No!
Nobody's doing that!
376
00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:06,604
[growling ]
377
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,602
Stay.
378
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,434
- What do you want?
- Jerrys.
379
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:14,487
You want Jerry?
I don't even want Jerry.
380
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:17,278
I want Jerrys.
381
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,859
[whimpering]
382
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,488
An army.
383
00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:22,954
[ Iaughs]
An army of Jerrys.
384
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:26,624
The value of his subservience
is wasted on you.
385
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,873
I will use it to dominate
the universe.
386
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:31,670
Ah ha ha. Boy, Jerry must
think I'm pretty stupid,
387
00:14:31,746 --> 00:14:33,293
for you
to be this stupid.
388
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,920
Wouldn't it make more sense
389
00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:36,922
to put my dumbass husband
in this chair,
390
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:38,924
so you can make an army
of your badass self?
391
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,505
[ Iaughs ]
392
00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:42,511
There could never be more
than one of me.
393
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:45,560
I'm the strongest,
smartest being alive
394
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,555
because Jerry thinks
you're that much stronger
395
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:51,900
and smarter than you are!
396
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:54,318
Okay, ouch.
397
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:59,111
♪♪
398
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:02,911
Oh, hey h-hey-y!
Morty, Jessica, what's up?
399
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:04,453
Check out the new dance
I made up.
400
00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:06,497
It's called "Ooh let me out!"
401
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,495
♪ Let me out,
Let me out ♪
402
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:10,497
♪ This is not a dance ♪
403
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,499
♪ I'm beggin' for help,
I'm screamin' for help ♪
404
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:14,501
♪ Please come let me out ♪
405
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,503
♪ Let me out,
Let me out ♪
406
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:18,505
♪ This is not a dance ♪
407
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,507
♪ I'm beggin' for help,
I'm screamin' for help ♪
408
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,429
♪ Please come let me out ♪
409
00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:25,179
♪ I'm dyin' in a vat
in the gara-a-ge ♪
410
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,477
[ cheering ]
- Awesome!
411
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:29,350
Okay, that last part
was really weird.
412
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,102
Maybe Summer's
on to something here.
413
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,432
I don't know.
It was fun.
414
00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:33,767
You want to slow dance?
415
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,528
Tiny Rick, hey,
great dancing as usual.
416
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:42,233
Moment of your time?
417
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:44,068
Tiny Rick,
this conversation
418
00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:45,904
is gonna break
my heart wide open.
419
00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:47,534
You're a great student
and the fact that
420
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:49,365
you're an 80-Year-Old man
in a clone body,
421
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,042
it never bothered me.
422
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:52,369
But this here
is another matter.
423
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,329
You recognize this?
424
00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:56,210
We got a tip
it was in your locker.
425
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,212
Yeah, now, because
the gym coach was a vampire,
426
00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,964
the school board
is embarrassed
427
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:01,635
and won't take it public,
However,
428
00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:03,300
they can't have students
killin' teachers.
429
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:05,302
I gotta expel you
for this one, TR.
430
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:07,429
I'm sorry.
431
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:10,349
I just got expelled,
Summer!
432
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:13,227
Oh! So I guess there's
no need to stay young.
433
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,229
My top!
- Screw your top!
434
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,060
You ratted on me?!
I'm Tiny Rick!
435
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,020
Fine! Yes!
Because I love you...
436
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:20,980
and I'm trying
to save your life!
437
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:23,407
High school is my life!
438
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,406
Summer Smith is
a fucking psycho nerd
439
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,533
and she just got me
kicked out of school!
440
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:30,456
ALL: [gasp ]
441
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,909
[thud]
442
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,414
Boo!
443
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:35,916
Summer,
I thought you were cool!
444
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,622
I'm sorry, okay?
445
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,673
How can you be
such a bitch?
446
00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:41,418
Oh, my god, Morty.
447
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,674
Your sister
crossed Tiny Rick?
448
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,638
Talk about
self-destructive.
449
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,431
Yeah.
450
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,348
JERRY:
Hey, Jerry-Lover!
451
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:53,475
How about a taste
of the real thing?
452
00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:55,556
- [ roar ]
- Jerry!
453
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,517
Ah. Ah. Ah.
454
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,898
Ah ah ah ah ah aah aah.
455
00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:04,907
Not on my watch.
456
00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:06,905
That's it!
457
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:09,032
Beth, it's me,
your husband!
458
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:11,034
I'm here to save you.
459
00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:13,536
Or my name
isn't Jerry Smith!
460
00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:15,084
- Aha!
- Yes!
461
00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:16,536
Jerry Smith!
462
00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:17,916
- Yeah, here.
- Aha!
463
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:19,713
Okay, fair enough.
464
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:21,082
[ominous music plays]
465
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:22,758
[ Door creaks open ]
466
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,677
Say goodnight, old man.
467
00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:30,345
[gasp]
468
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:31,676
What the hell are you doing?!
- Put it down!
469
00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:33,644
Summer, you bitch!
470
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:35,721
Don't talk to her that way!
She's your granddaughter!
471
00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:38,191
I don't need a granddaughter!
I'm Tiny Ri-i-ck!
472
00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:40,189
She's my sister!
And if Tiny Rick is
473
00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:42,270
gonna be an asshole
to my sister, then,
474
00:17:42,353 --> 00:17:44,355
you know, y-y-you
may as well be old again.
475
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:46,065
You think you're tough,
huh, Morty?
476
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,525
What are you gonna do?
I'm Tiny Rick.
477
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,281
I'm the coolest kid
in your school.
478
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,408
How are you gonna just make me
do whatever you say, huh?
479
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:53,581
I'm gonna do what real Rick
would do if he was here --
480
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:55,624
I'm gonna kick your ass!
481
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:57,043
Ohhhh!
482
00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:58,119
[grunting ]
483
00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:00,580
Rick, I know
you're in there!
484
00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,210
I know you're trying
to get out!
485
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:04,964
That's it, Morty!
Hold him down!
486
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:07,010
[ Ballad ]
♪ Drink up, baby ♪
487
00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:09,631
I Stay up all night I
488
00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:12,638
Listen to it, Tiny Rick.
Listen to Elliott Smith.
489
00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:14,139
Ugh! No!
490
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:15,686
Feel what he's feeling.
491
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:18,935
Ugh! Noooooooo! God!
492
00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:20,399
♪ That you'll never see ♪
493
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:22,476
Oh, god, what is life?
494
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,109
How can someone so talented
die so young'?
495
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:26,939
What is being young?
496
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:29,526
I'm not young. I'm old.
I'm -- I'm gonna die.
497
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,202
My body isn't real.
498
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:33,120
Morty! Summer!
It's me!
499
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,742
It's Rick! Regular Rick!
500
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:36,699
Rick! How do we get you
back into your body?
501
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:37,908
Okay, listen carefully.
502
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,994
There's a set of diodes
on the vat's control panel,
503
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:41,203
a blue one and a red one.
504
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,289
Oh, god, what kind of world is this?
I didn't ask to be born.
505
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:46,125
I need you to connect
the blue one to my left temple
506
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:48,176
and the red one to --
Why doesn't anyone really like me?
507
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:50,175
- Focus, Grandpa!
- Just put the stupid wires on my head!
508
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:51,972
I hate being a teenager!
509
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,808
Ugh! Arrgghh!
510
00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:07,196
Ah! Uhhhhh!
511
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,569
Jerry,
you can't bend metal.
512
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,651
Then make a me that can!
- How can I do that...
513
00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:14,362
while I'm watching you
totally fail to bend metal?
514
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:15,913
Good Old Beth!
515
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,956
The mind of a robot
and the heart of an insect!
516
00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:19,784
Don't talk that way
about her!
517
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:21,915
What?
518
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,292
Oh, it hurts!
519
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:25,589
Oh, god.
520
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:29,923
Stop.
521
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:33,677
This representation
displeases me.
522
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:35,474
Aaah!
523
00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:41,810
Good lord.
How did you...?
524
00:19:42,056 --> 00:19:43,683
Well, I had a feeling
that, in your mind,
525
00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:45,518
the ideal version of me
is one smart enough
526
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:47,274
to see you as...
527
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:48,855
a goddess.
528
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:51,233
Not such a stupid worm
now, are you?
529
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:53,943
Honey, when it comes
to the subject of your ego,
530
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,994
I'm Stephen fucking
Hawkinson.
531
00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:58,539
Ugh, it's --
Never mind.
532
00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,332
I love you.
533
00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:03,833
[ Processing,
powering up]
534
00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:05,663
[ buzz ]
535
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,879
- Rick!
- Pants!
536
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:11,002
Holy shit!
Thanks, kids.
537
00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:13,133
You figured it out.
Well, Summer did.
538
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,214
Kind of weird that
you were that willing
539
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:17,299
to sell my existence out
for some trim, Morty.
540
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:18,851
- What?!
- Pants!
541
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:20,811
But listen -- I forgive you both
because you know what?
542
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,729
I learned, today,
something important --
543
00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:24,432
The teenage mind
is its own worst enemy.
544
00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:25,732
Oh, I also learned this...
545
00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:27,606
[ beeping ]
546
00:20:27,685 --> 00:20:30,689
Operation Phoenix is not
the fallback I thought it would be.
547
00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:32,444
I guess it's back
to the drawing board.
548
00:20:32,523 --> 00:20:35,367
Oh, my god!
549
00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:38,242
- Oh, my god.
- Put some pants on!
550
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:39,492
Put pants on.
551
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,449
Grandpa's back, baby!
552
00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:42,658
Grandpa's --
[buzz]
553
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,585
Oh, man, I gotta pick up
your parents.
554
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:46,503
They have been
blowin' me up.
555
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:47,705
One last swing for the road!
556
00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:49,335
Aaaaaaaaaaah!
557
00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:50,837
For the love of god,
get dressed!
558
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:55,471
So, what do you think?
You wanna...
559
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:57,219
keep this marriage
going a while longer?
560
00:20:57,298 --> 00:21:00,723
At least until Morty has
graduated high school.
561
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:02,428
Oh. Mm.
562
00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:04,559
[moaning lightly]
563
00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:06,766
Aha, you see?
What did I tell you two?
564
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:08,146
It worked.
565
00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:09,727
You know what, Rick?
I guess, in a way --
566
00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:11,938
Already lost interest.
Get in the car.
567
00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:13,485
I've been inside a kid
all day and, now,
568
00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:15,032
I can feel my bones
scraping each other.
569
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:17,235
Uh, just so you're prepared,
570
00:21:17,318 --> 00:21:19,241
there's a bunch of dead mes
in the garage.
571
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,665
Huh! Sounds like our stories
were connected by a theme.
572
00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:24,913
- [ Iaughter]
- Not really, Jerry.
573
00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:28,292
Probably a cosmetic connection
your mind mistakes for thematic.
574
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:29,792
Oh.
575
00:21:29,872 --> 00:21:31,874
Old Rick!
Ruinin' everything!
576
00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:33,630
♪♪
577
00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:05,165
[ squeaking ]
578
00:22:05,241 --> 00:22:07,084
[ominous music plays]
579
00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:08,911
- Master.
- Speak.
580
00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:12,089
Coach Feratu's presence was
discovered by the humans.
581
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,417
He has been destroyed.
- No bother.
582
00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:16,093
The mortals shall soon --
583
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:17,294
I'm sorry, what did you
say his name was?
584
00:22:17,378 --> 00:22:19,221
- Coach Feratu.
- Coach Feratu.
585
00:22:19,296 --> 00:22:21,549
That was his real name,
like his actual vampire name?
586
00:22:21,632 --> 00:22:23,680
No no no no. His vampire
name was Balik Alistane.
587
00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:25,386
Why the fuck
would he name himself
588
00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:27,221
after a famous vampire movie?
Was he doing a bit?
589
00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:28,556
I do not know,
your unholiness.
590
00:22:28,639 --> 00:22:30,266
Jesus fucking Christ.
591
00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:32,818
From now on, no more of
this clever-name bullshit.
592
00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:34,486
When a vampire is pretending
to be a human,
593
00:22:34,562 --> 00:22:35,779
they can just
call themselves
594
00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:37,607
Alan Jefferson
or something like that.
595
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:38,987
It's crazy, right?
596
00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:40,363
I mean, am I being
an asshole?
597
00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:41,989
Okay, I feel like
everybody in the room
598
00:22:42,069 --> 00:22:43,241
is looking at me like
I'm the buzzkill.
599
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:44,321
I'm not?
600
00:22:44,405 --> 00:22:47,784
Good. Okay. Great.
[ hiss ]
601
00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:49,289
[screaming ]
602
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:50,790
Did you get any of that?
603
00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:52,793
It's-a good-a show!
43820
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.