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1
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Oh, the shame of it!
2
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(EX CLAIMS)
3
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Flesh of my flesh! Blood of my blood!
4
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Oh! My own kinfolk!
5
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The humiliation of it.
6
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(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
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(PANTING)
8
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Oh, hello, little nephew.
Just tidying up the joint... The house.
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(EX CLAIMS)
10
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For shame, Uncle Big Bad.
11
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(EX CLAIMS)
12
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Huh?
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To think that my own uncle
is that fiendish Big Bad Wolf
14
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who huffed and puffed and blew
the Three Little Pigs' houses down.
15
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We read all about you in school today!
16
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Now, wait a minute, kid.
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I never done nothing of the kind.
That was a bum rap.
18
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On the level, kid.
19
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Here, sit down
and I'll tell you what really happened.
20
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Your Uncle Big Bad never huffed or puffed
or blew nobody's house down.
21
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It was them Three Little Pigs
that was the mugs.
22
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Me? I was just
a innocent, nature-loving kid.
23
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I was nuts about nature. I just loved it.
24
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Hello, nature. I love yous.
25
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Hello, bees. Hello, trees.
26
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Hello, fuzzy little caterpillar.
27
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(GROWLING)
28
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Hello... Uh-oh.
29
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How I dread passing the houses
of them three mean little pigs.
30
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But I mustn't let them know
that I fear them.
31
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(STAMMERING) Hello, Three Little Pigs.
32
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ALL: Hello, Big Bad.
33
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(SHRIEKING)
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(THREE LITTLE PIGS LAUGHING)
35
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Oh, drat you Three Little Pigs!
36
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Why must you always torment me
when I pass your houses?
37
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Why?
38
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Ah, go blow your brains out.
39
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Hey, wait a minute, fellas.
He ain't such a bad guy.
40
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- Let's leave him play with us.
- BOTH: Huh?
41
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- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Sure, sure.
42
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Hey, Big Bad,
we're sorry we picked on yous.
43
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- You wanna play slingshot with us?
- Me?
44
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Oh, gee, that'd be just ginger-peachy.
45
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But I'm afraid
I don't know how to do it very well.
46
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Oh, don't worry. We'll learn yous.
Here, you get to use the biggest one.
47
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Just hang on to it and I'll load it for yous.
48
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Oh!
49
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Ready, aim, fire!
50
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Gee, Uncle Big Bad,
what did you do to them?
51
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Why, I murderlized the dirty...
52
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I mean, I just stood there
sobbing me little heart out.
53
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Dirty guys.
54
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Oh, come on.
You've been such a good sport.
55
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We'll let yous play Surprise-Surprise
with us.
56
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Well, all right, but I'm afraid
I don't know how to play Surprise-Surprise.
57
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There's nothing to it.
58
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Just put your hands behind your back.
That's right.
59
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Now, when we count to three,
yous can see what's in your hand.
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ALL: One, two, three.
61
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Surprise, surprise!
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(GASPING FOR AIR)
63
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Well, everything was going swell.
64
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The Three Little Pigs kept wanting me
to play with them.
65
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Then, one day, we was playing as usual.
66
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(BUZZING)
67
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This time we was playing Swat the Fly.I was the fly.
68
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THREE LITTLE PIGS: Swat the fly!
Swat the fly! Swat the fly!
69
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(HAMMERING)
70
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No, not that! Not my beautiful tail! No! No!
71
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Oh, no, Big Bad. You're our friend.
We wouldn't do that to yous.
72
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No. In fact, we've voted you King for a Day.
73
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Yeah, that's right.
74
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- Gee!
- Come on, King Big Bad.
75
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We'll lead yous to your throne.
76
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There you are, King.
77
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(SNIFFLING) Oh, gee, fellas.
78
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Here, Your Majesty.
Ring out the glad tidings.
79
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Peal the royal bell.
80
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Gee, fellas, you treat me like a king.
81
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And I thought you was after my beautiful
82
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tail.
83
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(SHRIEKS)
84
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ALL: Open the door! Let us in! Let us in!
85
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(STAMMERING) Not by the hair
on my chinny-chin-chin.
86
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ALL: Then we'll huff and we'll puff
and we'll blow your house in!
87
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(BLOWING)
88
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So you see, little nephew,
89
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it was those dirty pigs that blew
my house in and made off with me tail.
90
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Oh, Unc, what a lot of malarkey.
91
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Does this look like malarkey?
92
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Of course, we know
I lost it in a swinging door.
93
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English - SDH
6893
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