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The case of the Big Bad Wolf
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(FOR HE'S A JOLL Y GOOD FELLOW
PLAYING)
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Versus Little Red Riding Hood.
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I'm innocent. Really, I am.
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(ALL BOOING)
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Defense attorney, present your case.
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Your Honor and gentlemen of the jury,
there are two sides to every story.
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You're all familiar with Red Riding Hood's
side of the story, yeah!
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Red Riding Hood,
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that woman who has guilt
written all over her face!
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But now I want you to hear
the wolf's side of the story.
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Mr. Wolf.
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Well, it was like this.
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It's a Sunday afternoon
and I'm coming home from the pool hall...
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I mean, Sunday school.
I'm always going to Sunday school.
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I'm skipping along,
full of the spirit of brotherly love.
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I'm picking flowers for me mother.
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I'm always thinking of me dear old mother.
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(BIRD CHIRPING)
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I'm conversing with Mother Nature.
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Hello, little birdie.
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Go on, you jerk! Act your own age!
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Now you get the picture?
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There I am, minding me own business,
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and what do you think is going on
behind me back?
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Sabotage!
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(PRETENDING TO CRY)
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A skirt in distress.
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Why dost thou weep, toots... Fair maid?
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I've lost my way to Grandmama's house.
Really, I have.
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- Really?
- Really.
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Don't cry, little girl.
I'll find the way to your old lady's joint.
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Follow me.
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Oh, here it is.
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Oh, so it is.
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(LIVEL YMUSIC PLA YING)
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(DOORBELL BUZZING)
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(EX CLAIMING IN PAIN)
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Oh, gosh, it hurts!
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Hey, what's that?
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It's Grandmama.
She has a terrific hangover.
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Oh, I mean, she's very, very ill.
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Won't you come in and cheer her up?
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My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf.
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The better to observe the wonders
of Mother Nature with, Grandma.
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My, what a beautiful fur coat you have.
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Should bring about 35 bucks.
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So soft, silky, smooth, sleek and stunning.
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Well, I try to be tidy.
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My, what a big mallet
you've got, Grandma!
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All the better to get a new fur coat!
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(SHRIEKS)
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(CHOKING)
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(PANTING)
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And it was only through a miracle
that I escaped with me life.
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And if that ain't the truth,
I hope I get run over by a streetcar.
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(BELL CLANGING)
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Well, maybe I did exaggerate
just a little bit.
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English - SDH
4299
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