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BUGS: I'm so glad you stopped in, Loly.
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Is there anything I can do for youse?
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Well, Bugs, the readers of my column
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would love to hear about your success.
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Oh, why would anyone want to read
about little old me?
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LOLY: Oh, Bugs, you're so modest.
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What a job for a duck with my talents,
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pushing a broom while others
with absolutely nothing on the ball
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get all the breaks.
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BUGS: Oh, my, it's so nice of you, Loly,
but...
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(EX CLAIMING)
Listen to that ham putting it on.
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BUGS: Well, I'm willing to do
anything my public demands.
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(IMITATING BUGS)
"Anything my public demands.
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"Anything my public demands."
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(LISPING) That does it!
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If a long-eared rabbit can be a star,
so can a duck.
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Yeah. Yeah, I know we need a double
on the Bugs Bunny picture,
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but where can I get anyone
stupid enough to take the job?
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(LISPING) Okay, boss, hang up.
A star is born and that star is me!
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I'll call you right back.
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I... I think I've got a pigeon.
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Pigeon? I'm not a pigeon.
I'm a duck. D-U-K, duck.
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Loaded with talent.
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Do card tricks and impersonations.
I work at weddings, bar mitzvahs.
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Have tux, will travel.
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Report on stage nine, yes, sir.
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Oh, boy, I could be sent to prison
for the scenes I'm gonna steal.
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(CHUCKLING)
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(IN GERMAN ACCENT)
Okay, positions, everybody.
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We're ready for a take. Camera. Action.
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(CRUNCHING)
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What's up, doc?
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All right, rabbit, say your prayers.
I'm gonna blast you.
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Cut. Bring in the double.
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"I dare you."
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I dare you. I dare you. I dare you.
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MAN: Double on the set.
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Double? That's me. Oh, boy.
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- Here you are, Daff.
- Can't cut the mustard, eh?
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Okay, roll 'em. I know my lines by heart.
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Eh, what's up, doc?
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All right, rabbit, say your prayers.
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I'm gonna blast you.
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(WHISPERING) "I dare you."
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I dare you.
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Make up!
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Come on, let's get going.
I'm getting blisters on my cottontail.
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Now, in the next scene, Elmer,
you saw off the branch Bugs is sitting on.
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Saw him down, eh? Hmm.
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Psst, Elmer.
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(BANGING)
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Okay, roll 'em.
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Remember, Elmer, you're not supposed
to cut the limb all the way through.
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Goodbye, rabbit.
You're gonna be a falling star.
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(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
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(EX CLAIMING)
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(CRASHING)
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Okay, print it.
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All you have to do here
is sit on the dock and fish.
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Oh, no, you don't.
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(LISPING) Taking all the soft jobs and
leaving the tough ones for me to do, huh?
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I'll do this one.
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But, uh, Daffy, I really think
I ought to do this scene.
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Aha! Afraid I'll show up
your acting ability, eh?
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MAN: Camera. Action.
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(LISPING) What a cinch this scene is.
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Make up!
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Camera. Action.
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Get him. Get him.
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(GUN FIRING)
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I got you cornered, you screwy rabbit.
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Oh, give me that gun.
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(EX CLAIMS)
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Hmm.
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Ha!
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Make up!
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Take it up to 20,000 feet, Bugs,
then go into a dive.
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"Be sure and check the altimeter
with a tachometer.
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"The mechanical horizon
will indicate your position."
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Where is that mechanical horizon?
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(CHUCKLING)
Boy, I can't bear watching this.
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Cut.
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Bring in the double.
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(STAMMERING) The double?
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Camera. Action.
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Make up!
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I'm through playing stooge to a rabbit.
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I wanna star in my own picture.
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Oh, you're in luck.
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We've just finished a script
that calls for a duck.
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Oh, boy, The Duck
starring Daffy Duck. Boy!
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"I wonder where all the hunters are today."
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Camera. Action.
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I wonder where all the hunters are today.
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I demand to know who wrote this script!
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I'd like to tell him, but, uh,
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(CHUCKLES)
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Modesty forbids.
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English - SDH
7093
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