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1
00:00:00,384 --> 00:00:02,678
โช It seems today
that all you see โช
2
00:00:02,678 --> 00:00:06,015
โช Is violence in movies
and sex on TV โช
3
00:00:06,015 --> 00:00:09,476
โช But where are those
good old-fashioned values โช
4
00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:12,688
[all]
โช On which we used to rely? โช
5
00:00:12,688 --> 00:00:15,941
โช Lucky there's a family guy โช
6
00:00:15,941 --> 00:00:19,403
โช Lucky there's a man who
positively can do โช
7
00:00:19,403 --> 00:00:20,988
โช All the things
that make us โช
8
00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:22,823
โช Laugh and cry! โช
9
00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:27,870
[all]
โช He's a family guy! โช
10
00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:34,001
All right, now remember,
we're trash,
11
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:35,669
so no dressing rooms for us.
12
00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:38,630
The Griffins are proud
middle-of-the-aisle
try-on people.
13
00:00:39,423 --> 00:00:41,467
Take a look, I don't care.
14
00:00:41,467 --> 00:00:43,177
Brian, I found our costume!
15
00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:44,845
We're gonna be Sonny and Cher!
16
00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:46,555
And either one of us
could be Cher, I don't care--
17
00:00:46,555 --> 00:00:47,765
I guess I'll be Cher.
18
00:00:47,765 --> 00:00:49,099
How do you know
I don't already have plans
19
00:00:49,099 --> 00:00:51,143
-for Halloween?
-You do have plans.
20
00:00:51,143 --> 00:00:53,604
You're dressing as Sonny
and trick-or-treating with me.
21
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:56,440
If you come near me,
22
00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,817
-you're saying you're okay
with getting hit!
-[both gasp]
23
00:00:58,817 --> 00:01:02,362
Yeah, everybody has a plan
until they see the husky kid
24
00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:05,074
in the Halloween store
going absolutely nuts
25
00:01:05,074 --> 00:01:06,325
with nunchucks!
26
00:01:06,325 --> 00:01:08,077
[yells]
27
00:01:12,247 --> 00:01:13,707
This pumpkin's huge!
28
00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:15,667
-How'd you get it so big?
-Giggity.
29
00:01:15,667 --> 00:01:17,544
You guys promise not to laugh?
30
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:18,837
-Oh, yeah, yeah.
-Yes.
31
00:01:18,837 --> 00:01:20,214
I wished for it.
32
00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:22,257
[laughing]
33
00:01:22,257 --> 00:01:23,675
I knew you guys would laugh,
34
00:01:23,675 --> 00:01:26,178
but I also tended to it
for months.
35
00:01:26,178 --> 00:01:28,263
My only question is, why?
36
00:01:28,263 --> 00:01:29,765
Every year, I enter Quahog's
37
00:01:29,765 --> 00:01:31,433
Great Pumpkin
Halloween Contest
38
00:01:31,433 --> 00:01:34,895
and get creamed by that
dang Patrick McCloskey.
39
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,772
Guy's got the best soil
in town.
40
00:01:36,772 --> 00:01:38,148
He's over there
on the east side.
41
00:01:38,148 --> 00:01:39,566
You know what that means.
42
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:40,776
I think you know we don't.
43
00:01:40,776 --> 00:01:42,903
Closer to the coast,
more moisture.
44
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:44,404
Should really be two contests,
45
00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:46,156
one for each side of town.
46
00:01:46,156 --> 00:01:48,325
I think one's the right amount
of contests.
47
00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:49,493
Patrick McCloskey?
48
00:01:49,493 --> 00:01:51,036
Why do I know that name?
49
00:01:51,036 --> 00:01:52,996
Wait, weren't there
weird rumors about him
and Bonnie?
50
00:01:52,996 --> 00:01:54,331
No, it's just
the pumpkin thing.
51
00:01:58,043 --> 00:01:59,586
We are going to be
such a thing
52
00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:00,754
at trick-or-treating.
53
00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:01,839
I'd honestly be Sonny
54
00:02:01,839 --> 00:02:03,757
if I wasn't exactly
Cher's size.
55
00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:05,217
I'm going to take
this costume off.
56
00:02:05,217 --> 00:02:07,010
Not yet, it's time for choreo!
57
00:02:07,010 --> 00:02:09,096
That's choreography.
Did you know that?
58
00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:10,931
Stewie, I can't just spend
all day doing--
59
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:12,933
So it's rock left,
rock right,
60
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:15,310
right elbow into chest,
half-air bump,
61
00:02:15,310 --> 00:02:17,938
left elbow into chest,
half-air bump.
62
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:19,189
Say it with me.
63
00:02:19,189 --> 00:02:21,066
[together]
Rock left, rock right,
64
00:02:21,066 --> 00:02:23,652
right elbow into chest,
half-air bump.
65
00:02:23,652 --> 00:02:25,571
You're off tempo.
66
00:02:25,571 --> 00:02:27,322
-Rock left, rock right...
-Left... right...
67
00:02:27,322 --> 00:02:29,950
-...right elbow into chest,
half-air bump.
-Chest... half...
68
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:31,577
-Bump.
-You're off tempo, again.
69
00:02:31,577 --> 00:02:33,412
I'm starting to think
you don't really want this.
70
00:02:33,412 --> 00:02:34,580
I don't want this.
71
00:02:34,580 --> 00:02:36,290
Brian, do you know
how many Puerto Rican men
72
00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:38,792
came here in giant sweatpants
to audition for me?
73
00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:40,377
You're taking this too far.
74
00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:42,671
I'm not getting bossed around
by you for the next two days.
75
00:02:42,671 --> 00:02:44,840
Well, now you know
how Cher felt about Sonny.
76
00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:46,842
[sighs] I knew it was just
a matter of time
77
00:02:46,842 --> 00:02:48,468
until we became
the two of them.
78
00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:50,012
You look ridiculous,
by the way.
79
00:02:50,012 --> 00:02:51,221
How dare you?
80
00:02:51,221 --> 00:02:53,974
Rupert thinks I look amazing.
81
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:56,185
Well, great.
Rupert can be Sonny
because I'm done.
82
00:02:56,185 --> 00:02:57,478
I'm not taking you
trick-or-treating.
83
00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:58,770
I'm going to hang out
with my friends.
84
00:02:58,770 --> 00:03:00,772
Oh, your "friends," huh?
Name one.
85
00:03:00,772 --> 00:03:03,066
-Shut up.
-Oh, yeah, "Shut Up,"
great guy.
86
00:03:03,066 --> 00:03:04,776
I hate you!
87
00:03:04,776 --> 00:03:06,486
God, Brian's such a jerk.
88
00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:08,197
"Have Rupert be Sonny."
89
00:03:08,197 --> 00:03:10,407
You know what? Maybe I will.
90
00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:11,492
And here's your stupid
91
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:13,410
very-real-feeling
mustache back.
92
00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:15,204
Where do you even get
something like this?
93
00:03:15,204 --> 00:03:17,039
Don't worry
about where I got it.
94
00:03:17,039 --> 00:03:18,248
[Tom] Hello?
95
00:03:18,248 --> 00:03:19,291
Where am I?
96
00:03:20,042 --> 00:03:21,043
Is anybody there?
97
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:26,632
[screaming] No!
98
00:03:32,054 --> 00:03:34,097
You guys
are big fact guys, right?
99
00:03:34,097 --> 00:03:37,017
I read Native Americans used
every part of the pumpkin.
100
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:40,229
It provided many gifts.
Clothing, soap, tools.
101
00:03:40,229 --> 00:03:42,439
Pumpkins were even honored
as relatives
102
00:03:42,439 --> 00:03:44,816
and paid tribute
to through songs,
103
00:03:44,816 --> 00:03:46,443
dance, and prayers.
104
00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:50,447
I am 100% sure
it's the buffalo
to which you are referring.
105
00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:52,532
Let's see
how the little guy's doing.
106
00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:56,161
A dark-eyed junco?
107
00:03:56,161 --> 00:03:57,913
That's a pumpkin
death sentence!
108
00:03:57,913 --> 00:03:59,122
Scram, scram!
109
00:03:59,122 --> 00:04:00,457
Get out of there! Bonnie?
110
00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:03,460
[over intercom]
You out there? Get the broom!
111
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,379
What were we talking about?
Pumpkins?
112
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:07,047
Shut up about the pumpkin!
113
00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:08,715
I might give Bon a quick call.
114
00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:10,467
Make sure she knows
she's on bird duty.
115
00:04:11,927 --> 00:04:14,554
I apologize for my outburst.
116
00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:16,056
It's something I'm working on.
117
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:17,557
No apology necessary.
118
00:04:17,557 --> 00:04:20,102
I've had about all I can take
of this stupid pumpkin.
119
00:04:20,102 --> 00:04:21,853
Hey, what if we hid
Joe's pumpkin
120
00:04:21,853 --> 00:04:24,189
before it gets picked up
for the fair tomorrow morning?
121
00:04:24,189 --> 00:04:26,358
-I'm way in.
-Great idea, Peter.
122
00:04:26,358 --> 00:04:28,277
It's just a standard plan
of attack.
123
00:04:28,277 --> 00:04:30,779
Something I picked up
when I served at Fort Bragg.
124
00:04:30,779 --> 00:04:33,365
I once hit three homers
in a wiffle ball game.
125
00:04:33,365 --> 00:04:34,783
Why are you telling me this?
126
00:04:34,783 --> 00:04:35,909
Fort Bragg.
127
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:37,869
You're going
to the war tomorrow.
128
00:04:37,869 --> 00:04:39,913
-Where is it?
-Afghanistan.
129
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:42,165
I've been there,
like, four times, no big deal.
130
00:04:42,874 --> 00:04:44,293
[thunder crashes]
131
00:04:52,884 --> 00:04:55,304
All right, Rupert,
prepare to be brought to life
132
00:04:55,304 --> 00:04:57,264
to be my Sonny for Halloween.
133
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:58,515
Oop, almost forgot.
134
00:05:02,394 --> 00:05:04,896
And finally,
this metal-studded dog collar
135
00:05:04,896 --> 00:05:06,106
to conduct electricity,
136
00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:07,691
and not because it's
my biggest kink.
137
00:05:12,696 --> 00:05:14,448
[Meg]
Did the Internet just go out?
138
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:15,699
It won't be long!
139
00:05:15,699 --> 00:05:17,326
[Chris] Yeah, it's out.
140
00:05:17,326 --> 00:05:19,661
Guys, you can go,
like, two seconds
without the Internet!
141
00:05:21,246 --> 00:05:22,622
[electricity crackling]
142
00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:26,460
[thunder crashing]
143
00:05:30,339 --> 00:05:31,965
[crackling intensifies]
144
00:05:46,063 --> 00:05:47,314
It's not alive.
145
00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:49,483
It's not alive!
146
00:05:53,403 --> 00:05:54,863
[Chris]
Internet's back for me.
147
00:05:54,863 --> 00:05:57,866
[Meg] Me too.
Reebok.com, baby!
148
00:05:57,866 --> 00:05:59,117
[sighs]
149
00:06:01,203 --> 00:06:02,287
[thunder crashes]
150
00:06:02,287 --> 00:06:04,122
One, two, three!
151
00:06:04,122 --> 00:06:06,583
[all grunting]
152
00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:08,543
-Where are we taking this?
-I don't know.
153
00:06:08,543 --> 00:06:10,420
What?
I thought you had a plan!
154
00:06:10,420 --> 00:06:12,464
Yeah, the plan,
which everyone loved,
155
00:06:12,464 --> 00:06:13,840
was to hide the pumpkin.
156
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:16,009
Oh, for crying out loud.
157
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:17,719
Am I the only one
who can make plans?
158
00:06:17,719 --> 00:06:19,429
I have decision fatigue.
159
00:06:20,138 --> 00:06:21,556
-[both gasp]
-Uh-oh.
160
00:06:21,556 --> 00:06:22,974
We wrecked Joe's pumpkin.
161
00:06:22,974 --> 00:06:24,643
And my sneakers!
162
00:06:24,643 --> 00:06:25,894
[thunder crashes]
163
00:06:26,728 --> 00:06:28,021
Cleveland, are you--
164
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:29,231
Are those Yeezys?
165
00:06:29,231 --> 00:06:30,649
They're cheaper now.
166
00:06:33,568 --> 00:06:34,569
[thunder crashes]
167
00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:36,530
Rupert?
168
00:06:37,239 --> 00:06:38,240
Rupert?
169
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:41,201
Rupert, you awake?
170
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:42,494
Oh, good, you are.
171
00:06:42,494 --> 00:06:43,745
Yes, it's about Brian.
172
00:06:43,745 --> 00:06:44,996
He was so mean.
173
00:06:44,996 --> 00:06:47,624
I can't believe he just
ditched me on Halloween.
174
00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:50,001
He's my best friend,
and this is how he treats me.
175
00:06:50,001 --> 00:06:51,086
I hate him.
176
00:06:51,086 --> 00:06:52,587
Seriously,
I wish he were dead.
177
00:06:52,587 --> 00:06:54,339
I mean it,
no takesies-backsies.
178
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:56,174
Good night, Rupert.
179
00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:58,677
Rupert?
180
00:06:58,677 --> 00:06:59,845
Rupert, you awake?
181
00:06:59,845 --> 00:07:00,971
Oh, good, you're awake.
182
00:07:00,971 --> 00:07:01,972
Good night.
183
00:07:03,014 --> 00:07:04,015
[snores]
184
00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,521
[thunder crashes]
185
00:07:09,521 --> 00:07:11,898
Dear Stewie,
you've given me life,
186
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:14,276
and some would say
I'm indebted to you.
187
00:07:14,276 --> 00:07:16,361
Well, I don't know
if all that's true,
188
00:07:16,361 --> 00:07:20,282
but you've got me,
and, baby, I've got you.
189
00:07:20,282 --> 00:07:23,702
[laughing]
190
00:07:23,702 --> 00:07:26,663
And now to fulfill your wish,
191
00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:30,459
I must kill Brian.
192
00:07:30,459 --> 00:07:34,379
But first, I must kill
this bag of Doritos.
193
00:07:34,379 --> 00:07:37,174
[announcer]
Family Guy. It was either this
or we fire three writers.
194
00:07:47,490 --> 00:07:48,658
Step aside.
195
00:07:48,658 --> 00:07:50,660
Now, let's remember,
it's just a pumpkin.
196
00:07:50,660 --> 00:07:51,745
[gun cocks]
197
00:07:54,039 --> 00:07:56,416
No, no, no!
We can put it back together.
198
00:07:56,416 --> 00:07:58,043
Are you telling me
you can do
199
00:07:58,043 --> 00:08:00,545
what the Humpty Dumpty
crew couldn't?
200
00:08:00,545 --> 00:08:02,672
I-- I never got
to the end of that.
201
00:08:02,672 --> 00:08:04,633
And you have no king's horses,
202
00:08:04,633 --> 00:08:07,260
and they had
all the King's horses.
203
00:08:07,260 --> 00:08:10,388
I'm not sure how much horses
can help fix a broken egg guy.
204
00:08:10,388 --> 00:08:12,599
Yeah, good luck
with those hooves.
205
00:08:12,599 --> 00:08:13,767
[groans]
206
00:08:13,767 --> 00:08:15,060
Well, I'm finished.
207
00:08:15,060 --> 00:08:17,562
May as well give McCloskey
the trophy now.
208
00:08:17,562 --> 00:08:19,439
You know,
the damage is on the bottom.
209
00:08:19,439 --> 00:08:21,900
We can just shovel
the rest of the goop
back in and prop it up.
210
00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:25,779
We can't just scoop 307 pounds
of pumpkin guts in there.
211
00:08:25,779 --> 00:08:28,031
[horn honking]
212
00:08:31,993 --> 00:08:34,579
307 pounds is my exact weight.
213
00:08:34,579 --> 00:08:36,623
This is crazy, but I think
I could slide in
214
00:08:36,623 --> 00:08:37,916
through the hole
in the bottom.
215
00:08:37,916 --> 00:08:39,709
Then I could just sit in there
for a few hours,
216
00:08:39,709 --> 00:08:41,419
and maybe you can
still win the contest.
217
00:08:41,419 --> 00:08:42,754
You'd do that for me?
218
00:08:42,754 --> 00:08:44,172
I broke it. I'll fix it.
219
00:08:44,172 --> 00:08:46,049
Plus, I want to beat McCloskey
for you.
220
00:08:46,049 --> 00:08:47,259
I heard about him and Bonnie.
221
00:08:47,259 --> 00:08:48,718
I don't know
what people are hearing.
222
00:08:48,718 --> 00:08:50,178
It's just pumpkin stuff
with us.
223
00:08:54,349 --> 00:08:57,185
Welcome to the Quahog
Great Pumpkin Contest.
224
00:08:57,185 --> 00:08:58,520
We're going to start today
225
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,271
with the pumpkin pie
eating event.
226
00:09:00,271 --> 00:09:02,440
Peter Griffin is
our reigning champion.
227
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:05,402
Peter, come on up and accept
this Pie to the City.
228
00:09:05,402 --> 00:09:07,570
[Peter] Joe, I need
to come out for a minute.
229
00:09:07,570 --> 00:09:09,114
It's too risky, Peter.
230
00:09:09,114 --> 00:09:11,574
The Pie to the City
enables the bearer
231
00:09:11,574 --> 00:09:13,743
to go to any establishment
with pie
232
00:09:13,743 --> 00:09:16,663
and get a free pie
at any time.
233
00:09:16,663 --> 00:09:18,123
Sorry, bud.
234
00:09:18,123 --> 00:09:19,374
We'll get you pie later.
235
00:09:26,631 --> 00:09:28,466
-[engine revving]
-[tires screeching]
236
00:09:35,598 --> 00:09:37,017
[spits]
237
00:09:40,228 --> 00:09:41,479
-Who is that?
-Who was that?
238
00:09:41,479 --> 00:09:42,689
That's the king.
239
00:09:42,689 --> 00:09:43,815
That's McCloskey.
240
00:09:43,815 --> 00:09:45,650
He's allowed to just park
on the grass?
241
00:09:45,650 --> 00:09:46,901
They'll ask him to move.
242
00:09:46,901 --> 00:09:48,236
That's what they did
last year.
243
00:09:52,490 --> 00:09:54,284
Stewie thinks
I have no friends.
244
00:09:54,284 --> 00:09:55,493
Then what are all these?
245
00:09:56,411 --> 00:09:57,871
Hello, Brian.
246
00:09:57,871 --> 00:10:00,582
Enjoy your last call.
247
00:10:00,582 --> 00:10:01,750
[ringing]
248
00:10:03,585 --> 00:10:05,045
Hello?
249
00:10:05,045 --> 00:10:07,922
Sanfo, what do we got going on
for All Hallows' Eve?
250
00:10:07,922 --> 00:10:09,007
Hang sesh?
251
00:10:09,007 --> 00:10:10,091
Who is this?
252
00:10:10,091 --> 00:10:11,468
Bri-guy, from the line.
253
00:10:11,468 --> 00:10:12,552
What line?
254
00:10:12,552 --> 00:10:13,970
"What line," he says.
255
00:10:13,970 --> 00:10:15,305
Top Gun: Maverick.
256
00:10:15,305 --> 00:10:18,349
Uh, dude, that was,
like, three years ago.
257
00:10:18,349 --> 00:10:19,434
Ha! What're we
gettin' into tonight,
258
00:10:19,434 --> 00:10:21,436
you ol' bull shark?
259
00:10:21,436 --> 00:10:22,812
I don't know, man.
260
00:10:22,812 --> 00:10:25,106
I might go
to the Quahog Cemetery
outdoor movie.
261
00:10:25,106 --> 00:10:26,191
Love it. Should we get
262
00:10:26,191 --> 00:10:28,401
the Dime Boys involved
is the question?
263
00:10:28,401 --> 00:10:30,612
Hey, while I got ya,
let me show you my yard.
264
00:10:30,612 --> 00:10:32,655
So much potench.
265
00:10:32,655 --> 00:10:34,532
Ugh. "Potench."
266
00:10:34,532 --> 00:10:36,367
Now I want to kill him twice.
267
00:10:41,164 --> 00:10:42,248
Look at him.
268
00:10:42,248 --> 00:10:43,625
He's so cool.
269
00:10:43,625 --> 00:10:45,543
[Peter] I want to see him
so bad.
270
00:10:48,046 --> 00:10:49,214
Hoo-hoo-hoo!
271
00:10:49,214 --> 00:10:51,925
Look who it is,
"Second Place" Swanson.
272
00:10:51,925 --> 00:10:53,426
That nickname
doesn't make sense
273
00:10:53,426 --> 00:10:55,428
because one year
I was sixth place.
274
00:10:55,428 --> 00:10:57,305
Feel stupid now, McCloskey?
275
00:10:57,305 --> 00:10:59,849
Let me get a closer look
at your pumpkin.
276
00:10:59,849 --> 00:11:01,976
Could barely see it
from over there.
277
00:11:01,976 --> 00:11:04,020
[Peter] Ha, classic McCloskey.
278
00:11:04,020 --> 00:11:05,647
-What was that?
-What?
279
00:11:05,647 --> 00:11:08,650
All I hear are whispers
from all the pumpkin bloggers
280
00:11:08,650 --> 00:11:10,985
saying McCloskey's reign
is over.
281
00:11:10,985 --> 00:11:12,070
Good news.
282
00:11:12,070 --> 00:11:13,405
When your pumpkin loses,
283
00:11:13,405 --> 00:11:14,864
you can still use it
as a centerpiece
284
00:11:14,864 --> 00:11:16,407
at Thanksgiving. [laughs]
285
00:11:16,407 --> 00:11:18,743
Provided you have
a small enough table.
286
00:11:18,743 --> 00:11:20,161
-[grunts]
-Hey, hey, hey, hey!
287
00:11:20,161 --> 00:11:22,080
It's not worth it.
None of this is.
288
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:23,331
I wish I stayed home.
289
00:11:26,584 --> 00:11:30,755
And this year's Quahog
Great Pumpkin winner is...
290
00:11:30,755 --> 00:11:32,006
[drum roll]
291
00:11:34,217 --> 00:11:36,136
It's just pumpkin stuff, Joe.
292
00:11:36,136 --> 00:11:37,262
Oh, good.
293
00:11:37,262 --> 00:11:38,930
See, fellas? Pumpkin stuff.
294
00:11:38,930 --> 00:11:40,849
Joe Swanson!
295
00:11:40,849 --> 00:11:42,934
-Yeah! Mwah.
-Ugh!
296
00:11:42,934 --> 00:11:45,103
Better luck next year,
McCloskey.
297
00:11:45,854 --> 00:11:46,938
What are they doing?
298
00:11:48,231 --> 00:11:50,483
All the Pumpkin County winners
are entered
299
00:11:50,483 --> 00:11:52,527
in the State Halloween Contest
in Providence.
300
00:11:52,527 --> 00:11:55,613
Do you know anything about
regional pumpkin contests?
301
00:11:55,613 --> 00:11:58,408
Oh, suck my bumpy gourd,
McCloskey.
302
00:11:58,408 --> 00:11:59,617
Your what?
303
00:11:59,617 --> 00:12:01,619
My bumpy little orange,
green, and yellow
304
00:12:01,619 --> 00:12:04,164
Gonzo-nose-shaped gourd.
305
00:12:04,164 --> 00:12:05,248
Stop describing it.
306
00:12:07,041 --> 00:12:08,293
[Peter] Are we driving?
307
00:12:08,293 --> 00:12:10,086
I don't have a seat belt.
308
00:12:10,086 --> 00:12:11,421
[kids] Trick-or-treat!
309
00:12:16,926 --> 00:12:19,429
Weird. That kid looks like
your teddy bear.
310
00:12:19,429 --> 00:12:20,847
Except he's holding
a big knife
311
00:12:20,847 --> 00:12:23,141
and has a present-day
Anthony Kiedis costume.
312
00:12:26,269 --> 00:12:28,479
That's not present-day
Anthony Kiedis.
313
00:12:28,479 --> 00:12:29,772
That's Sonny Bono.
314
00:12:29,772 --> 00:12:31,524
Oh, my God, it worked!
315
00:12:31,524 --> 00:12:33,860
I made life! Yay!
316
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,155
Rupert, you're alive!
317
00:12:37,155 --> 00:12:38,531
Thanks to you.
318
00:12:38,531 --> 00:12:41,201
This is amazing! Oh,
we have so much to talk about.
319
00:12:41,201 --> 00:12:42,744
But first, candy.
320
00:12:42,744 --> 00:12:44,329
I can't wait to join you,
321
00:12:44,329 --> 00:12:48,499
right after I find
and kill Brian, babe.
322
00:12:48,499 --> 00:12:49,626
Wait, what?
323
00:12:49,626 --> 00:12:52,587
Remember?
"I wish Brian were dead."
324
00:12:52,587 --> 00:12:54,297
Oh, I was just angry
for a second.
325
00:12:54,297 --> 00:12:56,341
But forget all that.
You're alive!
326
00:12:56,341 --> 00:12:57,592
Let's trick-or-treat.
327
00:12:57,592 --> 00:12:58,760
Of course.
328
00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:00,511
Once I kill Brian.
329
00:13:00,511 --> 00:13:02,138
Come on, Rupert.
Don't be silly.
330
00:13:02,138 --> 00:13:03,348
I'm not mad anymore.
331
00:13:03,348 --> 00:13:05,141
Actually, I like being
a solo act.
332
00:13:05,141 --> 00:13:08,686
I got an Oscar and, like,
100 hot young boyfriends
ahead of me.
333
00:13:08,686 --> 00:13:11,314
Gonna do a fishnet dance
on an aircraft carrier,
334
00:13:11,314 --> 00:13:13,483
remind our boys in white
what they're fightin' for.
335
00:13:13,483 --> 00:13:14,984
Anyway,
you don't have to kill him.
336
00:13:14,984 --> 00:13:17,403
But you said,
"No takesies-backsies."
337
00:13:19,364 --> 00:13:21,115
Rupert, where did you go?
338
00:13:21,115 --> 00:13:23,326
Oh, my God,
I have to save Brian!
339
00:13:25,078 --> 00:13:27,205
Mr. Herbert,
you're trick-or-treating?
340
00:13:27,205 --> 00:13:29,082
Oh, I use Halloween
to take care of
341
00:13:29,082 --> 00:13:31,125
a little yearly housekeeping.
342
00:13:31,125 --> 00:13:32,293
[giggling]
343
00:13:32,293 --> 00:13:33,503
[doorbell rings]
344
00:13:33,503 --> 00:13:34,587
Trick-or-treat!
345
00:13:34,587 --> 00:13:36,673
I'm a registered sex offender.
346
00:13:41,469 --> 00:13:42,470
Brian!
347
00:13:43,054 --> 00:13:44,305
Brian!
348
00:13:44,305 --> 00:13:45,848
Where could he be?
349
00:13:45,848 --> 00:13:47,058
Hey, Cher!
350
00:13:47,058 --> 00:13:49,018
Hey, guys!
351
00:13:49,018 --> 00:13:50,478
I'm putting this on Instagram!
352
00:13:51,396 --> 00:13:52,897
Well, this is a big hit.
353
00:13:52,897 --> 00:13:54,774
I can't stop smiling.
354
00:13:54,774 --> 00:13:56,401
Instagram! Of course!
355
00:13:56,401 --> 00:13:57,777
Brian doesn't have
the confidence
356
00:13:57,777 --> 00:13:59,404
not to shove
every sad little thing
357
00:13:59,404 --> 00:14:00,822
he does down our throats.
358
00:14:00,822 --> 00:14:02,031
Bingo!
359
00:14:02,031 --> 00:14:03,950
He's going to watch
an '80s horror boob movie
360
00:14:03,950 --> 00:14:05,118
at the cemetery.
361
00:14:05,118 --> 00:14:07,245
"Gonna be cool
to see them so big."
362
00:14:07,245 --> 00:14:09,247
Hashtag big screen boobs.
363
00:14:09,247 --> 00:14:11,916
"Waiting on my guy Sanfo
with the provisions."
364
00:14:11,916 --> 00:14:15,003
Parenthetical,
"All the Jameson, please.
LOL."
365
00:14:15,003 --> 00:14:16,671
Ugh, what a mess.
366
00:14:16,671 --> 00:14:18,881
[Rupert] Shall we split a cab?
367
00:14:18,881 --> 00:14:21,092
-[yelps]
-It's nice he's
at the cemetery.
368
00:14:21,092 --> 00:14:22,677
Less clean up.
369
00:14:22,677 --> 00:14:23,678
[phone dings]
370
00:14:27,473 --> 00:14:28,683
God, that's awful.
371
00:14:34,897 --> 00:14:36,566
Peter's been in that pumpkin
all day.
372
00:14:36,566 --> 00:14:38,026
We gotta find him
and get him out.
373
00:14:39,569 --> 00:14:42,280
It's going to take us hours
with all these pumpkins.
374
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:43,406
-Peter!
-[Peter] Yeah?
375
00:14:43,406 --> 00:14:45,199
-Oh, wow.
-Can I come out?
376
00:14:45,199 --> 00:14:46,409
I should be at work.
377
00:14:46,409 --> 00:14:47,910
Yeah, let's get you
out of there.
378
00:14:47,910 --> 00:14:49,287
Well, well, well.
379
00:14:49,287 --> 00:14:50,830
"Miracle-Grow" Joe.
380
00:14:50,830 --> 00:14:52,582
McCloskey,
what are you doing here?
381
00:14:52,582 --> 00:14:54,500
I saved my wristband
from last year.
382
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:56,127
They didn't change the color.
383
00:14:56,127 --> 00:14:58,254
I didn't ask how you got in.
384
00:14:58,254 --> 00:14:59,881
Well,
something doesn't add up.
385
00:14:59,881 --> 00:15:02,592
Last year,
your pumpkin was 18 pounds.
386
00:15:02,592 --> 00:15:05,762
And this year, it's 307?
387
00:15:05,762 --> 00:15:08,222
Seems like
a disproportionate step up.
388
00:15:08,222 --> 00:15:09,432
But what do I know?
389
00:15:09,432 --> 00:15:12,477
Just almost every
pumpkin thing there is.
390
00:15:12,477 --> 00:15:13,853
Get lost, McCloskey.
391
00:15:13,853 --> 00:15:16,356
Oh, ho-ho-ho!
No, I'm sticking around.
392
00:15:16,356 --> 00:15:17,982
I'm gonna get
to the bottom of this.
393
00:15:17,982 --> 00:15:21,903
[Peter] Yeah, now I'm kind of
wondering myself.
394
00:15:21,903 --> 00:15:24,405
[announcer] Hello, hipsters
and newly-sober people
395
00:15:24,405 --> 00:15:27,033
who ran out of
seltzer flavors to try.
396
00:15:27,033 --> 00:15:29,285
The movie will start soon.
397
00:15:29,285 --> 00:15:31,662
Do you mind if I scoot
your blanket over a bit?
398
00:15:31,662 --> 00:15:32,914
You're on my dad's grave,
399
00:15:32,914 --> 00:15:34,457
and I'd like to leave
these flowers.
400
00:15:34,457 --> 00:15:36,376
I totally get it
from your perspective,
401
00:15:36,376 --> 00:15:38,836
but Sanfo should be here
in uno momento,
402
00:15:38,836 --> 00:15:40,963
and there's a chance
the Dime Boys may roll,
403
00:15:40,963 --> 00:15:42,131
so, yeah, no.
404
00:15:46,302 --> 00:15:47,762
Hello.
405
00:15:47,762 --> 00:15:49,347
Do you mind if I sit?
406
00:15:49,347 --> 00:15:52,433
Whoa, a kid dressed as a bear
dressed as Sonny Bono?
407
00:15:52,433 --> 00:15:53,518
That's so weird.
408
00:15:53,518 --> 00:15:55,144
Oh, how so?
409
00:15:55,144 --> 00:15:57,105
Just-- I was supposed to go
as that.
410
00:15:57,105 --> 00:15:58,439
Well, why didn't you?
411
00:15:58,439 --> 00:16:00,483
Maybe somebody
was counting on you.
412
00:16:00,483 --> 00:16:02,068
Oh, that's not him.
413
00:16:02,068 --> 00:16:03,861
Sorry, bud.
I'm sorta keeping an eye out
for my friends.
414
00:16:03,861 --> 00:16:05,488
They'll probably need help
with the YETI.
415
00:16:05,488 --> 00:16:08,199
It's the big one. Not cheap,
but heirloom quality.
416
00:16:08,199 --> 00:16:12,829
You know, to have a friend,
you must first be a friend.
417
00:16:12,829 --> 00:16:15,706
And you haven't been
a very good one, have you?
418
00:16:15,706 --> 00:16:16,791
Hey, you got it, Sonny.
419
00:16:16,791 --> 00:16:18,042
Hey, I'm gonna run
to the bathroom.
420
00:16:18,042 --> 00:16:20,002
If you see three guys
dressed as Anchorman
421
00:16:20,002 --> 00:16:21,462
scream-quoting Will Ferrell,
422
00:16:21,462 --> 00:16:23,339
tell 'em this is the spot.
423
00:16:23,339 --> 00:16:26,551
Oh, this is the spot,
all right.
424
00:16:26,551 --> 00:16:28,845
The spot to die.
425
00:16:29,637 --> 00:16:30,847
[Peter crying]
426
00:16:30,847 --> 00:16:32,056
We gotta get
Peter out of there.
427
00:16:32,056 --> 00:16:33,182
He's starting to lose it.
428
00:16:33,182 --> 00:16:34,976
Something is off
with this pumpkin.
429
00:16:34,976 --> 00:16:36,853
Don't hate me
'cause you ain't me.
430
00:16:36,853 --> 00:16:39,730
McCloskey said that to me
last year and now I say it.
431
00:16:39,730 --> 00:16:42,483
I have to go to the bathroom
more than the pail in here!
432
00:16:42,483 --> 00:16:44,444
-[judges gasp]
-Mr. Swanson,
433
00:16:44,444 --> 00:16:45,903
what is going on here?
434
00:16:45,903 --> 00:16:47,780
[sighs] I'm sorry.
435
00:16:47,780 --> 00:16:48,948
I've disgraced--
436
00:16:48,948 --> 00:16:50,408
[man]
I also have to go
to the bathroom
437
00:16:50,408 --> 00:16:51,993
more than the pail in here!
438
00:16:51,993 --> 00:16:53,828
Who is that?
439
00:16:53,828 --> 00:16:55,788
[together]
We all have to go
to the bathroom
440
00:16:55,788 --> 00:16:57,623
more than the pail in here!
441
00:16:57,623 --> 00:16:59,917
My wife made me volunteer
for this job.
442
00:16:59,917 --> 00:17:01,335
I'm not really sure
what to do.
443
00:17:01,335 --> 00:17:03,421
Maybe we just vote
on the fattest guy?
444
00:17:03,421 --> 00:17:05,047
This seems mean now.
445
00:17:05,047 --> 00:17:06,757
How'd you know I was cheating?
446
00:17:06,757 --> 00:17:08,092
The truth is...
447
00:17:08,092 --> 00:17:10,636
[sighs] there's no way
to win this contest clean.
448
00:17:10,636 --> 00:17:12,680
No real pumpkin
is ever over 20 pounds.
449
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,056
But yours always are.
450
00:17:14,056 --> 00:17:16,809
My fat son sits in mine
every year.
451
00:17:16,809 --> 00:17:19,645
All these years,
I thought giant pumpkins
452
00:17:19,645 --> 00:17:21,189
were just full of seeds.
453
00:17:21,189 --> 00:17:22,648
Forget it, Joe.
454
00:17:22,648 --> 00:17:24,233
It's Pumpkin Town.
455
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:28,321
[โช moody jazz music playing]
456
00:17:30,948 --> 00:17:32,617
[engine revving]
457
00:17:36,954 --> 00:17:38,581
I gotta put
some thought to this,
458
00:17:38,581 --> 00:17:40,875
but I think I may be in love
with that guy.
459
00:17:45,338 --> 00:17:46,881
Have you seen a dog
with a bear
460
00:17:46,881 --> 00:17:48,299
in a Sonny Bono costume?
461
00:17:48,299 --> 00:17:49,550
[laughs]
462
00:17:49,550 --> 00:17:51,427
No, nothing like that.
463
00:17:51,427 --> 00:17:52,720
Just a dog with a bear
464
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:54,388
in a present-day
Anthony Kiedis costume.
465
00:17:57,725 --> 00:17:59,352
That's him!
Which way did they go?
466
00:18:02,230 --> 00:18:04,357
-[choking]
-[grunting]
467
00:18:05,358 --> 00:18:07,485
Oh, God, I'm too late.
468
00:18:07,485 --> 00:18:08,611
You're not too late!
469
00:18:08,611 --> 00:18:10,112
But by the time
I start helping,
470
00:18:10,112 --> 00:18:11,364
don't you think
it'll be too late?
471
00:18:11,364 --> 00:18:13,533
Not at all. Help!
472
00:18:13,533 --> 00:18:15,535
-[groans]
-[grunts]
473
00:18:24,085 --> 00:18:25,586
You should go.
474
00:18:25,586 --> 00:18:28,256
I don't think
you'll want to see
what happens next.
475
00:18:28,256 --> 00:18:30,550
I command you
not to kill Brian.
476
00:18:30,550 --> 00:18:33,636
Dear, dear, Stewie,
don't you see it?
477
00:18:33,636 --> 00:18:35,179
You only animated me to life
478
00:18:35,179 --> 00:18:37,765
when Brian said
he wouldn't be Sonny.
479
00:18:37,765 --> 00:18:41,644
You turn to me only when
Brian's mean to you.
480
00:18:41,644 --> 00:18:43,938
I'm always second to him.
481
00:18:43,938 --> 00:18:45,022
Well, that's not true.
482
00:18:45,022 --> 00:18:46,148
Isn't it?
483
00:18:46,148 --> 00:18:48,776
Do you know
my name's not even Rupert?
484
00:18:48,776 --> 00:18:49,944
It's Jerry.
485
00:18:49,944 --> 00:18:52,029
Ugh, I've been hanging out
with a Jerry?
486
00:18:52,029 --> 00:18:55,491
But once Brian's gone,
I'll finally be first.
487
00:18:55,491 --> 00:18:59,287
You're one and only
best friend.
488
00:18:59,287 --> 00:19:00,454
[yells]
489
00:19:09,463 --> 00:19:10,548
[grunts]
490
00:19:10,548 --> 00:19:11,924
[growls]
491
00:19:11,924 --> 00:19:13,092
[screams]
492
00:19:13,968 --> 00:19:16,304
[both grunting]
493
00:19:16,304 --> 00:19:18,556
Say you'll leave Brian alone,
and I'll let you go.
494
00:19:19,307 --> 00:19:21,350
[choking] I can't do that.
495
00:19:21,350 --> 00:19:26,480
In that case,
you leave me no choice.
496
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,357
[gurgling]
497
00:19:28,357 --> 00:19:31,444
[singing, crying]
โช If I could turn back time โช
498
00:19:31,444 --> 00:19:34,655
โช If I could find a way โช
499
00:19:34,655 --> 00:19:38,409
โช I'd take back those words
that have hurt you โช
500
00:19:38,409 --> 00:19:40,828
โช And you'd stay โช
501
00:19:40,828 --> 00:19:42,496
[grunts]
502
00:19:46,917 --> 00:19:48,794
What's... what's happening?
503
00:19:48,794 --> 00:19:50,129
Oh, hey, man.
504
00:19:50,129 --> 00:19:51,589
How much did you hear?
505
00:19:51,589 --> 00:19:53,591
You brought your bear to life
and told him to kill me?
506
00:19:53,591 --> 00:19:55,343
Damn, I was hoping
you missed that.
507
00:19:55,343 --> 00:19:59,013
Also, you chose me
and saved my life.
508
00:19:59,013 --> 00:20:00,931
[sighs]
You're my best friend, Bri.
509
00:20:00,931 --> 00:20:03,100
I'm really sorry
I put you through this.
510
00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:05,186
Eh, I was pretty selfish, too.
511
00:20:05,186 --> 00:20:07,104
I should have made time
to take my best friend
512
00:20:07,104 --> 00:20:08,230
trick-or-treating.
513
00:20:08,230 --> 00:20:09,982
I'm your best friend?
514
00:20:09,982 --> 00:20:11,567
You're pretty much
my only friend.
515
00:20:12,902 --> 00:20:15,112
What about Sanfo
and the Dime Boys?
516
00:20:15,112 --> 00:20:18,532
Honestly, I think Sanfo's just
using me for my sick yard.
517
00:20:18,532 --> 00:20:20,242
Happy Halloween, Bri,
518
00:20:20,242 --> 00:20:21,827
you total loon.
519
00:20:21,827 --> 00:20:23,245
Happy Halloween, Stewie.
520
00:20:29,460 --> 00:20:32,630
Man, that yard is going to be
the place to be this summer.
521
00:20:32,630 --> 00:20:34,882
[Stewie]
Maybe this is the summer
I get back into croquet.
522
00:20:34,882 --> 00:20:36,050
We do have the space.
523
00:20:36,050 --> 00:20:37,593
[Brian] Yeah, lot of potench.
524
00:20:37,593 --> 00:20:38,594
[Stewie groans] Ugh.
525
00:20:45,393 --> 00:20:47,353
Oh, I know what you want.
526
00:20:48,062 --> 00:20:49,522
Here you go, sweetie.
527
00:20:49,522 --> 00:20:52,358
Your fluffy little friend
is all dry and good as new.
528
00:20:53,651 --> 00:20:54,735
[sniffs]
529
00:20:54,735 --> 00:20:56,153
Well, you lost a little stank,
530
00:20:56,153 --> 00:20:57,738
but that should come back
in time.
531
00:20:57,738 --> 00:21:00,533
Oh, my God, Rupert,
you would not believe
what happened.
532
00:21:00,533 --> 00:21:03,577
I animated you to life,
and then you decided to kill--
533
00:21:03,577 --> 00:21:05,538
Yes, to life! Me!
534
00:21:05,538 --> 00:21:08,582
I did it, and then you decided
to kill Brian, because--
535
00:21:08,582 --> 00:21:10,126
No, we do not wish
he was dead.
536
00:21:10,126 --> 00:21:12,086
Not anymore, at least.
And then...
537
00:21:12,086 --> 00:21:14,922
[chuckles] What on earth
do they talk about?
538
00:21:14,922 --> 00:21:16,924
[โช theme music playing]
37770
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