Original subtitles

Polish Television presents:

Layer Cake

Layer Cake

Now, children, wave to your father, bye!

A bunch of lunatics!

A bunch of lunatics.

BOOM

Sir!

How about me?

- Guys, look... - Hey, sir... Come to me, I've got dough! - Sir, come here!

I'm happy to see you, sir. I'm sorry that you had to come here.

- I am to take on your matters, right? - Yes, you know, I don't have either head or time for this.

I see.

I am a rally driver.

Perhaps you heard of the Fox-Fox Brothers team.

Oh yes, of course I heard.

Namely, the team is gone.

- Your brother died in the accident? I'm sorry to hear that. - No matter what, driving must go on.

Guy was great, but well, an accident. They've just removed my stitches yesterday.

Now I must train like hell, I'm totally out of form.

I see. So what can I do for you, sir?

It's like that, sir:

I am a bachelor, my brother was married. We have insured ourselves cross-like.

That means if I die he gets everything, if he does, I get a half and his wife gets a half.

- I mean the widow, do you understand? - Yes, yes, yes. Maybe a cigarette?

Thank you, I don't smoke.

- In one word, the insurance company makes some difficulties. - They don't want to pay out bounty?

They refuse, then they don't, but they dodge. They want to pay out a part.

A part... How come? Only a part by virtue of the life insurance?

That's what it looks like.

And how do they justify that?

Well, who would understand them, it appears that my brother hasn't died completely.

Not completely... How come not completely? He is dead after all.

And, was he buried?

Well, there wasn't much to bury.

There was a funeral. Brother's wife was present. I couldn't - you see why.

Doctor says he couldn't be helped. He did what he could - but he failed.

He says that his duty is to save life above all. So he got at it and saved.

Doctor Burton. That surgeon.

Yes, he.

Transplantations, I see... But why the assurer doesn't want to pay?

I ask that question too. You should force them. Make them pay.

Is there a widow? Yes, there is. Are there children? Yes, they are. Am I there? Yes, I am.

Moreover, I got into debts. There's a new rally next week, I must have a new co-driver.

I am a rally driver, not a racing one. How do you think? I must have a new co-driver.

Indeed, I don't see any similarity.

Yes, my brother was a tall, dark-haired man, I am fair-haired.

May I know what is the line of your sister-in-law?

The line? She waits for the money. She has to live off something, hasn't she?

Of course she has. But... I mean... does she consider herself a widow?

And what should she consider herself? A husband is dead, so a wife is a widow, isn't she?

Certainly, Mr. Fox. I'm under impression that you gave your matter in good hands.

Mr. Fox, a dinner.

You needed me? I'm listening.

I'm Ryszard Fox' lawyer. You operated him and his brother, doctor.

- It's about the insurance company... - One moment.

Sister, hand me Fox & Fox treatment card please.

Doctor, the 7th operating room called that it doesn't fit.

Let the warehouse-keeper deliver a bigger one.

I told them that it would be too small.

I remember. Fox brothers... well...

Is it true that not everything which remained from the deceased brother was received by... the living one?

Oh yes. This and that remained.

Regarding the huge number of people in need we can't allow any surplus to waste, you understand it, sir?

Humanitarian perspective commands us to share with fellow-men. It's one of that complicated issues brought up by progress.

- Does it mean that besides the living brother some third party took an advantage? - Oh, yes.

And concerning further consequences...

it follows from my vocation that I save only a man...

I don't look after his marital or bachelor status, so I can't tell you if Mrs. Fox is or isn't currently a widow.

This matter should be decided by the court.

That's strange, sir...

I wanted to ask you about something totally different, doctor.

You say that a widow may not be a widow.

But she recognizes her living brother-in-law, she was on her husband's funeral...

What doubts can be there?

Doubts exist and they are very significant.

Maecenas, let's say that under some urgent circumstances I would perform such an operation...

How do you think, which one stays alive? Is marriage contracted by this or that one?

We are only concerned with body here, law should decide which part of it is major in the matrimonial way.

So that's how it was... Well, then whose is the top part?

I've just given you a demonstrative example, Maecenas. The actual operation was far more complicated.

We've reconstructed a new organic integrity, capable of living.

And because it can be as well this way...

Doctor, the patient from the 18th died.

Again! Tell doctor Findl to resurrect him right away.

And please take with you the whole set of parts. The whole set, sister!

So there wouldn't be such a mess like last time, when no one could count up the kidneys.

What a story... So what would you advise me, doctor?

There are far more complicated cases, I can assure you.

Last week Dr Gregor had 18 patients on his emergency service.

A bus has fallen from a bridge.

There were 18 people before the operation and after it there were 19 of them. Now try to imagine those troubles:

The identity of the 19th person, her documents, where are the parents?

Unbelievable...

I'm telling you, this is what happened to Dr Gregor. The patients must have had substantial fatness, big sizes.

Tailor cuts in the way proverb says.

What's up there again!

Let me go, let me go!

I can't stand it!

It's going to ruin my career!

I can't preach in this voice!

Pastor, I told you that we can work it out. Take care of him, friend.

So you won't give me any advice, doctor?

Marriage is considered as a matter of both spirit and body.

You may ask your client's psychoanalyst about the spirit matters.

You have to get used to it, we have more and more such cases.

When there are more donors, we have to determine the patient's age by the arithmetic mean of their ages.

Doctor, the 2nd calls that their patient hasn't died yet.

Not yet? I'm going there at once. Excuse me, sir.

Mr. Fox... a walk.

Mr. Fox, are you completely sure that you are Ryszard Fox, not Tomasz?

How could I be Tomasz? My brother was co-driver and I'm a driver. Moreover there is a proof.

What proof?

A widow and children. They are orphans now, right?

Ah, so everything is... will be strictly displayed, and I hope that everything will shape up well for you.

I will be immediately interpreting the insurance. Take care, sir.

A kidney? Maybe something to complete?

Something serious? A heart needed? I'll sell cheap.

I have everything, like new, first class, please buy, huh?

Buy from me, from me, it's better!

Leave me alone.

Sir! Look what organs, clean...

Thank you my child.

.. only for you, sir.

You are buying or maybe offering? I pay the highest prices.

Attention! Report from the state hospital, concerns insurance policies no. 693 and 1,197...

I'm representing Ryszard Fox.

Down, the law spokesman of Consolitei Insurance Company.

...positive balance. Attention! Report from the state hospital, concerns insurance...

Yes, I know this case. It shouldn't be sued. It's a certain loss.

Why?

- Why? Because the Fox brothers insured themselves for life, it wasn't an accident insurance. - I understand, but so what?

When is a person alive? When his or her vital organs are alive. The places where they are situated are not important.

Here or there, it doesn't matter. Crucially, they live.

As they live, so does the insured one. In the corresponding percentage proportion, of course.

But sir, we can't divide a living man into percents!

Indeed, indeed, I can show you the balance.

Miss Lant! Get me the personal files of Tomasz and Ryszard Fox, please.

Tomasz Fox, please!

So?

What is the Tomasz Fox' present balance, according to you?

48.9% of his bodily movables were invested in his brother Ryszard,

as a non-refundable contribution in form of internal organs.

21.1% of mentioned Tomasz were invested in other individuals.

Remaining 30% were laid to rest in the family tomb, and therefore written off.

So the negative balance of Tomasz Fox equals 30%, and the company is ready to pay out the corresponding bonus.

I'm asking about Ryszard.

Ryszard? But you yourself say that he is alive. So how can we pay out his bonus?

But Tomasz is dead!

Indeed. Tomasz is dead in 30%. That's all. The rest of him was invested and feels pretty well.

Goodbye, sir.

Goodbye.

No!

I've just come to tell you that he is not going to get away with it that easily!

But Mrs. Fox, who? Ryszard?

This is the question, if it's Ryszard.

But you have any doubts?

Doubts or not, it�s all the same for me.

If it's Ryszard, he's to give me the money from the insurance for everything he has from my husband.

But if it's Tomasz, then he's to stop wasting money on hotels and lawyers and go back to his wife and children!

Wait a moment. Either you consider yourself a widow or a wife. If you are a widow...

I know, I know. You want to confuse me.

It's not going to happen. There won't be any discussions. I have my own lawyer.

I'll wait till Saturday. Later, we will talk, but in the court.

A bunch of lunatics.

Do you know her claims?

Yes, she wants either all the money, or even me as an addition.

Well, I think I'll have to accept it, as a husband, I will be closer to that cash anyway.

What do you suggest?

I have to bother you, Mr. Fox. It's not as easy as you think.

Unfortunately, it cannot be determined, whether you are alive or dead.

Excuse me?

Please, don't worry. Spiritually, you are certainly Ryszard Fox, but physically?

Wait a moment, who am I actually?

The case of paternity must be brought in the court, Mr. Fox.

Spiritually, you aren't the father of these children, because you didn't want to have children with your sister-in-law. Right?

A bunch of lunatics.

Of course I didn't want to. Those are my brother's children!

From the point of your psychical decision, you aren't their father, also in the law sense.

But unfortunately, you had that accident and a whole set of transplantations was performed. Explants, you see.

There is a concern, even a certainty, that bodily, you are a father.

Currently, you possess such body parts that administer paternity because of their functions.

Do you understand?

No, I don't.

But that's not true! I'm not any father. If I have to, I may adopt, nothing more.

Mr. Fox, you don't see the whole complexity of this case yet.

A father cannot adopt his own children, because while being a father physically,

you aren't spiritually, because you didn't marry the mother of these children.

This means that you are partially a brother-in-law, and partially a husband. The same goes with paternity.

But neither a partial adoption, nor a partial marriage, nor a 30% divorce are legal.

You can neither marry your sister-in-law, nor divorce, nor adopt the children.

But why?

How should I explain this to you, Mr. Fox...

Here and there you are her husband, and here and there a brother-in-law.

Piebald?

Piebald.. yes. Mr. Fox, I've an idea...

If you claim in the court that your brother wasn't ever a father of these children,

but you have sired them secretly with your sister-in-law before the accident.

And then I would be their father?

Not at all. Than you would be just their uncle.

And that's because your deceased brother doesn't possess... No, no, no... There was a third part involved...

Perhaps that children's father is competely elsewhere, and doesn't know anything about it.

What an unusual accident, an exceptional case, a real phenomenon!

Why are you delighting? Advise me what to do, damn it!

You shouldn't overexcite.

No, I shouldn't, especially because of my raid on Friday. OK, leave it as it is, I'll come to you on Saturday.

All right, Mr. Fox. There is also a matter of costs. Expenses are rising, an advance is indicated.

All right. I'll pay. I'll pay everything after the raid. They'll be waiting for me on Sunday everywhere, I'm all in debts.

You'll see! So much money, three children! Give me the money back!

Hey, Mr. Cheater! Mr. Fox! Catch him, or he'll run away!

My money! Give me my cash back!

My poor children, my little bugs! Oh, you rogue! You'll see!

Go back home, to the children, you...!

BOOM

It's you, sir.

At last, at last I see you, Mr. Fox. We haven't met for a long time.

Four months and then some.

You see, what a damn bad luck.

I feel really sorry for you.

I know that you lost your sister-in-law in the accident, err, I mean your wife, it doesn't matter now.

Anyway, you lost your close relative, my condolence.

Did you come because of the litigation with the insurance company? Unfortunately, this case hasn't moved on yet.

No Maecenas, I have new problems right now. I'm in a such quagmire that I don't know what to do.

Well, we'll try to settle it down somehow. I know you had an accident.

Oh, if it wasn't for Dr Burton, I wouldn't be alive.

But, you know, when yesterday they removed my stitches, I got my post... All the claims. Six of them.

You have to help me, Maecenas.

I'll do what I can.

And what are they about?

I wouldn't remember everything, so I wrote it down.

It's like that. They sue me for: theft, profanation, appropriation of movability, defilement...

I can't read what is written here. Do you have a magnifying glass?

It's on the table.

Yes, for negligence of mother's duties.

Perhaps father's?

No, mother's.

Are you a woman, sir?

What?

But you've changed your sex?

No, me? Nothing of the kind!

Well, no, I haven't changed, it was her... Well, not her either, because she is no longer alive, right?

Who isn't alive?

Salomea Tintel.

Salomea Tintel... And who is she?

That raid was to set me on my feet financially, you see.

And I took a co-driver for help - Francmis, maybe you heard. So handsome...

And then my damn bad luck.

Again? From both of you...?

Ah, if only from two of us... Worse...

Creditors came to raid, so did sister-in-law, the best view is on the turning, right? So together 8 people.

So there were: Salomea Tintel, age 35; Nancy Queen, age 21- a snotnose, and this man with a dog behind the corner.

And I went in the turning with 7,000 turns, I've nearly got out, but the back of the car slipped back and... Oh, you see...

I see, I see.

Well, it's like I got rid of the creditors...

Sister-in-law too, how sorry I feel for you...

Sister-in-law too...

So who is actually suing you, and for what?

Nancy Queen's fianc�, for illegally appropriated gold.

What gold?

This gold.

He is a dentist, and they were about to marry, and as a fianc�'s favor he inserted her this and that, all in gold, and now he wants me to give it back.

You to him?

Yes. He says it was a fianc�'s favor, and I'm not his fianc�e.

Well, it's true, but I didn't take it from anyone, I didn't ask for it. I didn't order any golden laces so why do I have to give them back now, why?

Well, err, undoubtedly, it's a peculiar case...

Are those all the sues against you?

Mr. Fox!

If only! That woman, Salomea Tintel, whom I've never seen in my life, now her uncle demands me to pay for her children's maintenance!

Yes!

I understand. That's because you caused the accident.

No, you don't understand anything. The commission certified that oil was spilled.

I don't have to pay for causing an accident, but as a mother. That is... a continuation of the mother.

A continuation of the mother? Who made up this term?

The lawyer of that uncle.

What mother is it about?!

Talking with you, Maecenas... That woman, Mrs. Tintel, had three children and was ailing from rheumatism.

When the weather's going to change like today, my knees hurt so much that I feel neither clutch nor gas.

You can imagine how disastrous it is for me.

It means that Mrs. Tintel, that her legs...

No, not only legs, somewhere like up to here. But you know, such rheumatism, they are so ill.

And now that uncle demands me to take care of children like they were my own.

But you didn't give birth to them!

No, but Mrs. Tintel did, when she was still alive. Now this old guy sends me a threat letter. Here, please read it.

"Either you provide for the children, or I will force you to put the temporal remains

of my much regretted niece to the family tomb.

I won't allow anyone to brandish with remainders of my dear deceased. "

And what would you say?

How ruthless are those people.

Let me note it down.

So, Mr. Fox, after you cleared everything out, I will take up action.

Everything? What about creditors' families, Dr Burton, the dog?

What... dog?

Well, it's definitely imagined. I don't know about any dog, nor Dr Burton saw it.

Dog - race Boxer. Is that all?

Yes.

Do you use a handbag, sir?

Yes, it's more comfortable, you know, pockets don't get baggy.

And for how long are you been using this... handbag?

I don't remember. Maecenas, if the case moves from place, please come... please let me know, will you?

One more thing, sir. The costs are rising, you know, so many cases, I'm forced to ask for an advance.

After the raid, Maecenas. I've got a raid next week, the first prize is 100,000, I have to train now.

And those legs... By the way, Burton could have looked around better, these are so ill.

Mr. Fox, do you still have the same psychoanalyst?

Yes, why?

Nothing at all, I just wanted to know. Goodbye, and I wish you a breakneck.

Well, it's enough. Bye.

Bye!

Dr Benglow? Psychoanalyst.

I'm a lawyer of Fox, Ryszard Fox. He is your patient.

Yes of course, he will be here in a few minutes.

He is embroiled in a whole bunch of juridical cases. He had an accident, transplantations, you know.

Court can call experts and issue the judgment.

As his lawyer, I have to be prepared for that.

Yes, of course. I have materials regarding Fox here.

But unfortunately, it's a professional secret.

I'm his lawyer and I act only on his advantage, doctor.

Oh yes, of course.

So, I have some fragments of Fox' treatment here. Well, it was recorded 2 years ago.

I use the method of free associations. Do you know what it is about?

I say one word, and the patient responds with the first one he comes up with.

Oh yes, I know, of course I know.

Please, listen to this.

- Night. - Reflectors.

- Darkness. - Fuses.

- Why fuses? - Lights must have packed up if it's dark.

Let's proceed. Attention!

- A hat. - Valves.

- How do you link hat with valves? - Hats usually have cylindrical shape and cylinders have valves.

- Attention! Blood. - Stop.

- Why stop? - 'Cause of the red light.

- Trinity. - Two.

- What two? - The second gear.

- A pile-up. - A carburetor.

He reduced every Freud's symbolism to a car engine.

For him even a stick, can you imagine, was only a gear lever.

Please hide yourself.

Relax, relax, relax, relax, relax...

- A hat. - A veil.

- A flower. - Organs.

- Why organs? - I don't know, I just said it like this.

- Crowd. - A wedding ring.

- A knife. - A wife.

Relax, relax...

So, doctor?

There are no doubts. A knife transforms into a wife.

- So he's no more there. - What do you mean, why he's no more there?

It's clear, now he's that girl, Nancy Queen, who was about to marry a dentist.

No, it's not that simple. I would say that on top we have Fox, and underneath - that girl. Like butter on a slice of bread.

- Butter on a slice of bread? You must be kidding. - Not at all, do you know how surgeon works nowadays?

A bit of this, a bit of that, what comes across his hands.

Moreover, in an urgent situation, he has to assemble the whole piece by piece.

Piece by piece?

Apparently.

So who is he, actually?

And who is Roly-Poly?

I can't represent Roly-Poly in court, think about it, sir!

Oh sir, now there're new times, new customs.

And do you think he is normal?

Yes, of course he is. Anyway, I will check it one more time.

Relax.

- Petrol. - Gloves.

- Gloves. - Skin.

- Skin. - A bone.

Why a bone?

Did he bite you? A dog, for God's sake!

- What dog? - Well, a boxer was also there. - Where?

- At the accident place. - No!

- No? There was a dog, it disappeared. There are witnesses. - A dog, you say? Perhaps I should vaccinate myself?

Do you think that Fox was rabid?

Not Fox, the dog!

Fox is here, Maecenas!

He is? At last, come in, come in.

I come to you, you know...

I guess I know why you come. I was waiting for you.

You were waiting for me? Strange.

- Why is it strange? - In the morning I didn't know if I'll go to you, or to another lawyer.

Do you know why I'm here? Ryszard told me a lot of good things about you.

Ah, Ryszard... What Ryszard?

Ryszard Fox, my driver. I'm a co-driver.

It was Ryszard who suggested me to participate in this raid. I accepted.

Well, it finished so tragically for him. That's what our profession is like.

We were leading for twenty minutes, and then that damn turning...

Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Stevens. Arie Stevens.

THE END