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Dana! There you are.
Where's Ian? I thought you two were attached at the...
Ear.
- Hi, Ian. - Hi, Pop.
He says, "Hi, Pop." Do you need something?
Yes. I finally finished my expanded prototype,
and I want you to be the first one to play it.
- Love to. - He said he'd love to.
No, not Ian. God, I am so past giving a shit what he thinks about my game.
No, I'm talking about you, Dana.
Wow, I'm so flattered. I would love to give you my thoughts.
Thoughts? No. Not thoughts. Bugs. I want you to test Hera.
Way too hot, Pop.
She did just say that to me. You got that down too?
- Really? - What?
No, I got it.
Look, Poppy, I'm not a tester anymore.
And besides, Ian's on his way to pick me up.
- He's speaking with my class today. - Okay. Well, tell...
And he also says your throat sounds a little phlegmy
and maybe you should lay off the dairy.
Okay, give me that. Give me... Give it.
Hello, Ian.
No, I'm fine.
Well, while you're having fun doing your little project today,
just know that I'm gonna be here doing what I always do.
No! Not having a breakdown.
No, not begging for approval.
No, not disagreeing with you for no reason.
Stop telling me what I always do.
What I always do is I get the work done, and that is what I'm going to do.
And I don't eat too much dairy!
Here, he's your problem now.
Just so you know, once you have him in your ear, you can never get him out.
Hey, Ian. You almost here?
- Good morning, sir. - Morning.
Jo, please, you don't have to stand every time I enter the room.
I'm showing you respect.
And I appreciate that. It's very kind.
It's also very weird. Makes me feel uncomfortable.
- Please sit. - Yes, sir.
Hey, sorry I'm late.
You know, my commute from Cerritos just... it keeps getting worse and worse.
Mostly because there was
a mentally unstable man in a hoodie with no bottoms.
And you know, lotta lookie-loos.
Mr. Brittlesbee's office, good morning.
Please hold.
It's someone calling about Joe Manjaneneh... Manja... Man-jann-nyllo?
Joe Manganiello? The True Blood stud?
I guess. He wants to have lunch with you to talk about the movie.
For real?
Oh, my God, he could be perfect for the lead role.
I didn't even think of him.
- So what do you want me to say? - Say yes.
Hello. Yes. I believe Mr. Brittlesbee can find time in his schedule.
How's 1:00 p.m. today?
What? No. Not today.
No, that's too desperate. We don't wanna seem desperate.
- Okay, great. 1:00 p.m. it is. - What?
I'll send some details over to Mr. Manj...
Manganiello. It's Italian.
Nello. I'll send it to you soon. Bye.
Oh, my God. I can't believe he said yes.
He wants to meet today? That's... Oh, my God.
He must really want the part.
Oh, my God. This is big, Jo. This is big.
Okay. All right, Jo, I want everything you can find on Joe Manganiello.
I wanna know where he's from, where he lives, you know, how big is he?
Is he as big as they say on the Internet?
What drives him, what does he drive? Does he drive at all?
I wanna know what this man ate for breakfast.
Although, with his bod, he probably skips breakfast. I would.
Either way, take some notes, do some research and get back to me.
Got it?
Cool. And you should be there too.
Yes. That'll be good, to have an assistant with me.
It's good optics, you know. Shows that I have power.
And he'll respect that. Cool?
Good.
Also, one quick question. Why are you bleeding from the mouth?
Sorry, I'm biting my tongue. Is that better?
A little. Why are you biting your tongue till you bleed?
David, I wanna be a good assistant to you, I do.
It's just that I think Hollywood is a cesspool of narcissism,
sexual deviancy and moral corruption.
Okay, Jo, cou... Do you mind if I...
Yeah. Look,
we might land the lead role of our movie today,
so, all I'm asking is that you put aside your personal beliefs
and you just be the best assistant you can be today. Be great for me.
- Can you be great for me? - I can do it for you.
But not for him.
Yeah. Sure. Whatever. Great.
All right, today's gonna be great.
Though this might be a problem.
Yeah, I kinda pitted out during that phone call.
- Shit. - You okay?
Yeah, I just... I don't love being a passenger.
Yeah.
Yeah, me neither. I get that.
And autopilot can fuck all the way off.
I'm supposed to put my life in this thing's hands? No, thanks.
So you trust yourself over a machine with instantaneous reaction speeds?
Most people might say that's pretty arrogant.
Yeah, well, most people don't know how to drive.
That's weird.
What?
That's almost exactly what I would have said in that moment.
Weird.
Yeah, weird.
Hey, Carol, bit of an update for ya.
You screwed me, Brad. The NFT plan was a total bust.
Yeah, saw that.
I mean, the hate I expected, but the money usually follows.
To be honest, I'm stumped.
Stumped?
Carol, you did it this time.
Put your life in the hands of an ex-felon turned stumped janitor.
And there is nobody to be mad at but yourself.
Hi. Excuse me.
Just gonna get a couple CLIF bars for the road...
- No. No, you ain't. - Why?
Those are Carol bars and I need every last one of 'em.
What are you even doing here with your little, grubby otter hands?
Trying to steal things? You don't even work here no more. Could you go away?
I'm sorry.
Perhaps it's time for Carol to take one of her allotted mental health days.
I'm going to a cat café.
Well, I petitioned the company for those, so you're welcome.
She's so annoying.
What's her problem?
- You're annoying. - I didn't do anything.
It's your essence. Nothing you can do. But also our NFTs aren't selling.
I could've told you that.
Gamers hate money grabs. We can smell it a mile away.
What is this? Strawberry.
Wait, we?
Right.
Hey, what would you have done differently?
I don't know. Maybe I would've gotten, like, a...
Maybe I would've made, like, a sidequest, or, like, if you finish it, you get a...
I don't know, like a randomized NFT item, like a weapon or something,
or maybe like an exclusive skin, and then you can take that to other games.
Something like that might've been kinda cool.
It would, huh?
I don't know, man. This isn't really my job. I just...
- Hey, I was eating that! - Later.
I can't believe I'm saying this to you, but keep talking.
What up, grunts?
Hi.
Oh, man. You should see the looks on your faces.
You're like,
"Holy shit,
did the Poppy Li just walk into our shitty, little testing cube?"
Yes. Yes, she did.
You have no idea who I am, do you?
You're Poppy Li?
I'm the Poppy Li. The woman who basically single-handedly built MQ?
Oh, yeah, she's the one who eats outta the garbage.
- Cat lady. - Shut up! I'm not a cat lady.
Okay, you two are about to become a very minor part of gaming history,
because you're about to be the first people to play my new game.
We'd love to, but we're working right now.
Uh-huh. Yeah, you're working for me.
I told David that I'd do him a couple of coding favors
in exchange for some bodies to put on my things.
So, I own you for the day!
I'm sorry, you own us?
No, not like that. Not... Stop looking at me like that.
No, we traded you like horses.
So we're animals now?
Shut up! Stop finding bugs in me and find them in Hera, okay?
If you can.
All right, well, I'll be back in a few hours to rattle your cages.
Not that. To check on your progress. Human progress.
Please pick up.
Hi, David, I'm here.
I've got a ton of intel on our target.
I'll debrief you when you get here, but the headline is he came up clean.
Also, he had a protein shake.
Wait, sorry, what are you talking about?
You wanted to know what he had for breakfast.
What? No, that was just an expression.
Look, Jo, I'm stuck in Cerritos traffic,
so the navigation says I'm gonna be a little late.
But I'm not really worried about it.
You know these Hollywood types. They're never on time.
- He's here. - What?
Damn it.
- Is he big? - Super big.
Yeah.
I've been spotted. I repeat, I have been spotted.
We are making eye contact.
Okay, Jo?
You're gonna have to entertain him a little bit till I get there.
You said I didn't have to talk!
I know, but you're gonna have to talk a little, okay?
I don't know what to say to him. I have nothing in common with west coasters.
You live on the west coast! Okay, look, it doesn't matter.
Don't... Just relax, okay? Relax!
Just keep me in your ear, all right?
And I'll stay on the line,
and I'll tell you exactly what to say, okay?
What? This is getting confusing.
Trust me, it's not gonna be confusing.
- Joe. - Jo.
- Right. - Right.
Sorry?
It's confusing. Tell him to sit.
- Sit. - Not like a dog.
Please. Sit, please.
Okay. And we are here.
Wait, what is this? My school's 30 minutes away.
Why did the spaceship stop?
Well, right in there they are working on
the most state-of-the-art metaverse and AR technology in the world.
I want you to see it.
So we're gonna see all the shit that hasn't come out yet?
Yeah. More than that, we're gonna help drive the technology.
We dream it. They build it.
That's some real Kevin Costner shit.
- Do you know Field of Dreams? - Duh.
I... Can I just take a moment?
I feel seen in a way that I just…
I normally don't. And I want to take in the moment,
and I want to appreciate it. So, thank you.
You're welcome.
All right. Let's go.
Wait, we can just walk right in there?
Yeah. Yeah, we're just gonna walk in.
And we're gonna be like, "Hey, can we see your shit?"
And they're gonna show it to us.
Do you know what I would do if I were a white guy for a day?
You know what I would do if I were a Black woman for the day?
- Two words. - Megan knees.
- Yeah. I was gonna say Megan knees. - Really?
- Yeah. How did you know that? - We're in sync. We're, like...
Do we have some sort of, like, telepathy going?
We do.
Jo? Jo, why is it silent? Say something.
Mr. Brittlesbee will be here shortly.
He just got stuck in traffic coming from...
- Don't say Cerritos. - Beverly Hills. Where he lives.
Good, Jo. Good.
No worries. Are you a producer too?
- No. I'm the assistant. - Say "producer."
Producer. On the film.
Assistant producer's a cool gig.
- Say "totally." - Totally.
And I just have to say I'm a longtime MQ fan.
I've been playing forever. Seriously.
I mean, I play a lot of video games, but MQ is the best.
Really? So you're, like, a nerd?
- No. Don't call him a nerd. - Yeah. I mean, and proud of it.
Well, tell him I'm a nerd too.
I'm a nerd too.
No, me. Not you. Tell him, "Mr. Brittlesbee is a nerd."
Cool. I won't tell anyone.
That's a joke. Laugh.
Not weirdly.
Stop everything you're doing.
Don't be sad, Phil. You crushed it. Killed it. Murdered it.
- But it was all wrong. - Right.
And now we're gonna be doing something completely different.
Exactly. Rachel, go.
Me?
Yes, you. Tell him what you told me.
Okay.
So, the reason that no one is buying the NFTs is because they're shit.
- Oh, my God. - Seriously?
Great start.
I'm so sorry. Your work isn't shit.
The art is not the problem. It's the story.
You know, we can't just keep selling items to players and expect them to be happy.
But if we, you know, attach it to something they can earn,
something they can, you know, get for free,
that could be cool.
You know, build the community and then the money comes later.
Great. So start completely over with that in mind.
Can you guys give me one second?
I'm just...
So, what were you guys thinking about the character of the Masked Man?
Well, we're thinking he's…
Say "understated."
- …understated, of course. - "But fiercely protective."
Also fiercely protective.
Sounds like my Chihuahua.
Another joke. Laugh.
Now, what if… the Masked Man were German?
Oh, God. Just say "fascinating."
Fascinating.
Guess what I'm pitching is black-and-white foreign film.
Say "fascinating" again.
Fascinating again.
Yeah.
Not a good time, Phil.
And, by the way, why are you calling on my personal phone? All right?
If you're calling me about business, then call me on my "bidness" phone.
Sorry, David, I'm not sure what to do here.
Am I supposed to be taking orders from the janitor and his assistant?
What?
I'm not his assistant. I don't even work here.
Yeah.
The janitor and his friend?
Look, I don't know why you're bothering me with this right now.
- I do not have time for this. - Huh?
Sorry, not you.
No, I was just saying, is it me or is it chilly in here?
- Jo, okay... - It's Phil.
David doesn't even know who Phil is.
Yeah, shut up, Phil.
- Yeah, I'm a little cold. - Would you like my jacket?
No, do not take his jacket. That is a power move.
I'm not gonna be asking him for his jacket.
I swear to God, I will end you, Phil. Be quiet.
That's very kind, but I am fine.
I got this.
Where is our waiter? Must not be a fan.
Another joke. Laugh.
David, hey it's Brad.
- Brad? - Brad?
Brad?
Pitt. Brad Pitt. He's another actor we're considering for the role.
- What? - David, just say "approved."
No, do not say that to Joe.
I'm not talking to Jo. I'm talking to you.
I mean, we love Brad for this, but we would prefer you, of course.
You know he's 5'8", right?
Hire a 5'8 " actor, get a 5'8" performance.
I just want the janitor to pick a direction and stay there.
Oh, my God, Phil, do not bother me right now!
And never call me on my personal phone! Only call me on my "bidness"!
You know what? This is weird.
This whole thing is fucking weird.
- Is it? - Say yes. Just say yes.
Please don't say yes.
Do you guys have genuine interest in me for this role or no?
Yes, a thousand times yes.
Yes!
Yes. I heard "yes." Thank you, David.
Well, you heard the executive producer.
Looks like we got a "yes."
We'll just check back with you first thing in the morning. Great?
This seems super shady.
You'll get used to it.
What?
- Oh, my God. - Yeah. Pretty amazing, right?
The latency fixes, the haptic feedback. I have so many ideas.
Yeah, me too. Like, I loved all the AR stuff,
but I feel like we gotta get past glasses. Like, maybe even past lenses.
What about eye drops?
Like fully augmented reality with just one drop in each eye.
A neural link comm system where everything is fluid, free-moving and instantaneous.
Every thought, every idea, accessible everywhere by anyone
with zero interface of any kind slowing anything down.
I think that defies the laws of physics.
Who gives a shit?
Oh, my God.
I just got goose bumps.
You did get goose bumps. How did you do that?
I didn't.
What?
- You're driving back. - I am?
Yes.
Hey. Keys.
Hey, I'm here. Don't stand.
Where is he? Is he in the bathroom?
- He left. - Right. No, really. Where is he?
I admitted I lied.
- What? No. - I said you weren't commuting
- from Beverly Hills. - No.
That you live far outside of town and you just got stuck in traffic.
- Why would you do that? - Because I wanted him to know
that you're a good person, a great boss and, most importantly,
a young widower from Yorba Linda
dealing with the recent passing of his loving wife.
- You lied? - I had to, he was pissed.
It was the only thing I could think of.
All right. Well, what did he say?
He asked where to send flowers.
And he said he wanted to meet you and talk script.
After the funeral of course.
Wait, so, he's still interested?
Yeah. David, he wants to do it.
Oh, my God, that's incredible.
We bagged a beefcake!
Yes! Yeah. We should celebrate. Yes. Let's get drunk. Huh?
Actually, David, you should probably hit the road.
It's getting late and traffic to Cerritos is only gonna get worse.
But...
Yeah.
You're right. Yep. This time of day traffic's brutal.
All right, well, back in the car.
Hey, good job.
Hollywood producer. Assistant producer.
Time's up. What you got?
Nothing. Didn't find a single bug.
- See? I told you I was good. - Yeah, you're top-notch.
Not at picking up on social cues, but you're an incredible programmer.
Okay, enough. Quit hitting on me.
So, what else did you like about it?
You want our opinions?
Nobody wants our opinions.
- They told us that on the first day. - And every day since.
Well, yeah. Your opinions are worthless,
but I might find them amusing, so go on.
Well, like we said, technically speaking it's perfect.
Duh. Obviously.
Architecturally speaking, it's awesome.
Well, tell me something I don't know.
It just wasn't…
Fun.
Fun? Wait. What do you mean? But... Wait. Don't... Press the door open. Fun what?
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