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1
00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:09,384
Pootie, Pootie, Pootie... Shoe!
2
00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:11,595
Who is the Masked Man?
3
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,597
He is an NPC,
4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,434
or a Non-Playable Character
for all you noobs out there, all right?
5
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,520
He's got a dope mask.
He's rockin' all black.
6
00:00:19,603 --> 00:00:22,314
He's got silver accents.
He's a loot giver.
7
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:25,609
Yes! A firesword!
And a loot taker.
8
00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:28,237
Oh, man, he took my shield.
9
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:31,532
But, you know, when he first came out,
Pootie was all like, "I love this dude,"
10
00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:32,616
because everyone did.
11
00:00:32,698 --> 00:00:35,869
MQ totally hyped him up.
I mean, he was in ads.
12
00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:38,038
Who is the Masked Man? Pre-order now.
13
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,206
He was on T-shirts.
14
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:42,292
Whoa! "Who is the Masked Man?"
15
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:47,256
But then they never unmasked
the Masked Man, you guys.
16
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:52,010
I mean, even when we asked it repeatedly
and repeatedly and repeatedly.
17
00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:56,765
One day his identity will be revealed,
and it will blow you away.
18
00:00:56,849 --> 00:00:58,350
He's comin', he's comin', he's comin'.
19
00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:01,520
A little bit later than originally
anticipated, but he's comin'.
20
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:05,274
I just need you to just calm down a bit
and be patient, okay?
21
00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:08,402
I'm not-- Stop asking about
the Masked Man. Just stop asking about it.
22
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,529
You know, now is not--
now is not the time.
23
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:13,991
Just stop, all right?
You can... just stop.
24
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:16,034
Till MQ comes up with some answers,
25
00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:19,663
some real, solid stuff,
we're gonna be here, waiting.
26
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:22,124
The mystery continues.
27
00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:23,792
Pootie... Shoe!
28
00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:25,377
And there it is.
29
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:29,506
Pootie Shoe is a 14-year-old boy.
Who cares what he thinks?
30
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:33,010
Yeah, he's a real piece of shit,
but he's not wrong.
31
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,720
He's a bully,
and he needs to be dealt with.
32
00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:36,555
-Jo, please.
-Dealt with?
33
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:38,515
Ian, your judgment
is not to be questioned,
34
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,267
not by Pootie, not by anyone else.
35
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,102
-Jo.
-Poppy, David, shut up.
36
00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:45,397
Jo, your instincts on me are dead-on.
I love your enthusiasm.
37
00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:47,816
Guys, I'm not sweating this.
38
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:51,486
Okay, Ian, C.W., it is time
to unmask the Masked Man.
39
00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:53,447
Okay, it's gonna be a huge event.
40
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:56,950
The kind of event you might see
at the grand opening of...
41
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,455
...the casino.
42
00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:04,625
No. The casino is an abomination.
43
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,668
Okay, yeah, it's garbage.
But you guys wouldn't work on it,
44
00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:08,627
so I had to farm it out
to a studio in Bucharest.
45
00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:10,964
We wouldn't work on it
because it's an artless money grab
46
00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:12,841
that has no connection to the game.
47
00:02:12,925 --> 00:02:15,969
Okay, well, this is a great opportunity
to unify. Right?
48
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:20,182
Spruce it up. Make it fit. The perfect
fusion of art and commerce.
49
00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:24,061
Brad, you know what?
In a lot of ways, you are the casino.
50
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:27,481
A soulless money-suck
in the middle of an enchanted forest.
51
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:30,150
We don't need that.
And we don't need you.
52
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:34,488
Okay.
53
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:39,326
Well, that was super weird.
David, anything else?
54
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:41,912
Look, guys. You know I back creative.
55
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,497
-It's kind of my bag.
-No, it's not.
56
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:46,124
-Your bag is being a soy boy beta cuck.
-That's it.
57
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:49,711
That's-- A soy boy beta cuck?
What is that?
58
00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:51,046
I'll explain it to you later.
59
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,464
Is that a good thing?
60
00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:54,049
Mm-hmm.
61
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:55,217
Okay, good.
62
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,386
Look, but maybe Brad has a point.
All right?
63
00:02:57,469 --> 00:03:00,973
It's been two years. Maybe it's time
to reveal the Masked Man's identity.
64
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:03,767
No. No, I don't think
now's the right time.
65
00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,435
They're not revealing it
because they don't know.
66
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,813
We settled on his identity years ago.
67
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,774
Look, guys,
it's just not the right time to reveal it.
68
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,442
When it is, we will let you know.
69
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:15,320
Now, can we please
just get back to work?
70
00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:24,746
-You think they bought it?
-I don't know.
71
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,833
But, damn, I made a big deal
out of this stupid thing.
72
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,126
Yeah.
73
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:32,713
We better figure out who
the Masked Man is fast or we are fucked.
74
00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:49,897
Bad news, dude.
75
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:55,152
Brad just told me that we have to log
all of the bugs in the casino ASAP.
76
00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:59,072
What? He told us to stay away
from the casino because it's so janky.
77
00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:01,450
I guess they're planning
some big event there now.
78
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:06,246
Shit.
That's gonna take all night. I had plans.
79
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:13,879
You know what?
It's been a long week. I'll cover for you.
80
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:18,841
-No, you don't have to cover for me.
-Yeah. It's all good, man. I got you.
81
00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:22,554
Thanks, Rache.
82
00:04:23,347 --> 00:04:25,265
Sure. That's what friends are for, right?
83
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:46,954
Wow.
84
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:50,666
I should spend more time
in your office. It's super weird.
85
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:53,836
Every book you've ever written is here.
86
00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:58,465
The Cape of No Hope.
The Fall of Hrad. Saturn's Desire.
87
00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:04,054
This was my favorite when I was a kid.
I will never forget the elven temptress.
88
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,430
Nor I.
89
00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:07,975
She was based on a lover
I took in Morocco.
90
00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:10,978
Ironically, the proceeds from the book
91
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:14,106
were used to pay for the medical bills
I incurred from the encounter.
92
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,568
-Gross.
-Yeah.
93
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,821
Let's get to work, shall we?
94
00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:21,947
-Yes.
-Yes.
95
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,657
Yes! Now.
96
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,411
Who are you?
97
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,956
Obviously, when he takes off the mask,
98
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,208
it must be emotional or no one will care.
99
00:05:33,292 --> 00:05:34,459
Right. Right.
100
00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:37,546
And the fact that he's both
a loot taker and a loot giver,
101
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,548
there's something interesting there.
102
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:41,216
-Ian.
-Not now, Jo. We're working.
103
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:44,344
Got it. FYI, we're in business.
104
00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:46,847
Pootie's pissed.
He's definitely not chill.
105
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,807
Wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait.
What? What's he saying?
106
00:05:48,891 --> 00:05:50,058
Here, check it out.
107
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,769
You guys know
I'm all about the positivity,
108
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:56,023
but I recently got some
serious hate from MQ,
109
00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:58,567
and I'm just wondering why--
why they would hate on me
110
00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:01,028
when I play their game, like, 24-7.
111
00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:03,238
You know what they say, "The fish
stinks from the head down", right?
112
00:06:03,322 --> 00:06:07,284
So, Ian, I mean, I just asked
who the Masked Man was.
113
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:10,370
Just 'cause you don't know the answer,
you don't have to come at me for it.
114
00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:13,832
-Pootie's gonna ponder this.
-Pootie ponders.
115
00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,292
Boycott MQ?
116
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:19,713
Not something I would have considered,
117
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:21,798
but circumstances have changed.
118
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,510
-What the hell did you say to him?
-I sent him a funny meme.
119
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,221
It says, "Make everyone's day.
Kill yo--"
120
00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:29,139
Yeah, I see what it says, Jo.
Thank you.
121
00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:31,808
Why? Why would you send this
to a 14-year-old boy?
122
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,353
It works. I used it on my bully,
Shannon, in high school.
123
00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:36,230
She didn't commit suicide, but she tried.
124
00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:40,359
Yeah, Jo, in that scenario,
I don't think Shannon was the bully.
125
00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:41,944
-Shannon was the bully.
-She was the victim.
126
00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:43,529
-No, Shannon was the bully.
-Shannon was the victim.
127
00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:45,656
I went over to her house before sixth
grade. She asked me to play with Barbies.
128
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:46,990
I told her it was for babies,
129
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:49,326
and the next day I got to school
and told everyone she queefs.
130
00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:53,622
In that scenario, how are you-- Okay.
All right. You know, it doesn't matter.
131
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:56,500
Jo, can you just leave it alone?
Please just leave it alone.
132
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:59,086
I've upset you. I'm so sorry.
133
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:01,255
I can fix this. I promise.
Just give me another shot.
134
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,800
Okay, fine.
Do you think you can just de-escalate?
135
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:09,930
And, Jo, Jo, Jo.
Let's cool it with the suicide. Okay?
136
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:11,515
He's gonna make his own decisions here.
137
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,684
No, no, no. No. No. No. Let's...
138
00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:16,019
Let's stay away from the suicide,
all right?
139
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,605
You can't really make anyone do anything.
140
00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:21,441
Yeah, but we-- we could maybe
endeavor to not push him into it.
141
00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:24,444
I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do,
and he's gonna do what he's gonna do.
142
00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:26,697
No, you're gonna do
what I tell you to do. Okay?
143
00:07:28,532 --> 00:07:29,658
Fine.
144
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:36,039
If I could just harness her power
for good, I think we might be in business.
145
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,457
Forget about her.
146
00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:42,212
Focus on this and we shall silence
Pootie... and his cuties.
147
00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:44,590
And dudies.
148
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:46,800
Let us work.
149
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:51,638
Yeah.
150
00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:07,946
Hey. We might have a problem.
151
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,201
Yeah, I came back, and it was all gone.
152
00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:14,244
I mean, you think he's a fugitive?
He could be on the lam.
153
00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:16,455
People don't take their desks on the lam.
154
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:19,291
He's obviously just trying to make
a point, to prove that we need him.
155
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:23,212
A day without Brad.
156
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:28,383
Damn. I just wish he had
thought of this plan earlier.
157
00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:30,093
Could have enjoyed it longer.
158
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:31,553
Oh, well, I'm going home.
159
00:08:32,010 --> 00:08:34,431
What? No, wait. You can't leave.
160
00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:36,140
-I mean, what are we gonna do about this?
-Nothing.
161
00:08:36,225 --> 00:08:39,144
He's a toddler throwing a tantrum.
Just ignore it. It'll blow over.
162
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:41,980
But, Poppy,
we cannot afford to piss Brad off.
163
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:44,316
Monetization is a very important
revenue stream for us.
164
00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:46,485
Well, you need to make up
your mind, David.
165
00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:49,196
Do you back suits or do you back creative?
166
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,489
Creative.
167
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:53,283
Great. Then I need you to be cool.
Can you do that?
168
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:54,993
Yeah.
169
00:08:56,495 --> 00:08:57,496
You look worried.
170
00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:59,081
No. No, I'm not worried.
171
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:01,500
I was actually just thinking
of something else. No, I'm...
172
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,585
No, I'm cool. You know?
173
00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:05,462
What is this? What are you doing?
174
00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:08,799
I'm just, like, hangin'. Yeah.
175
00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:12,970
Okay. So you're gonna--
You're gonna be cool?
176
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,096
-Yeah.
-Great.
177
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:17,099
You know me. I'm ice-cold, baby.
178
00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:20,060
All right. I want you to go home.
179
00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:21,812
-Yep. Cool.
-Get some rest.
180
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,897
And all of this is gonna be okay
in the morning.
181
00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:25,190
All right, all right, all right.
182
00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:26,400
Don't do that.
183
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:31,655
Cool.
184
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:41,707
Dude, the dice disappear when they hit
the side of the craps table. New bug.
185
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,709
-Nice.
-Janky.
186
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:48,589
Glasses?
187
00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:52,259
Oh. Yeah. I only wear them at night.
I know they're dorky.
188
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:55,304
No, I like 'em.
I've just never seen you wear them before.
189
00:09:55,387 --> 00:09:58,015
Yeah, my eyes get tired
from staring at the screen all day.
190
00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,225
And then I go home
and play MQ some more.
191
00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:02,102
Hold on. You, you play MQ after work?
192
00:10:02,186 --> 00:10:03,520
Hell, yeah.
193
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:07,316
Me and my avatar, Toksvig? We tear it up
between the hours of eight and midnight.
194
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:10,777
Come on, dude. That is so cute.
I can't believe you keep playing.
195
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:13,572
Oh, it's almost midnight.
Didn't you have somewhere to be?
196
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:16,533
Oh... yeah. No. We're good.
197
00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:18,869
-Really?
-Are you hungry?
198
00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:25,292
I know where Poppy hides her ice-cream
sandwiches that she stress-eats.
199
00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:26,627
Yeah.
200
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:29,213
Wait. What if we get caught though?
201
00:10:33,217 --> 00:10:34,676
Looks like we're the only ones here.
202
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,102
-Really good, right?
-Yeah.
203
00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:45,771
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
204
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,465
Boom, snap, pap, ba-boom, snap, pap.
205
00:11:13,549 --> 00:11:16,009
Snap, boom, snap, pap, ba-boom,
snap, pap.
206
00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:18,011
Boom, snap, pap, ba-boom, snap, pap.
207
00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:20,097
Snap, boom, snap,
pap, ba-boom, snap, pap!
208
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,181
Yay!
209
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,155
Bit of a problem.
210
00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:21,450
What is going on?
211
00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:24,119
Brad's tantrum got a little worse.
212
00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:28,665
Oh, my God. He shut down the store
and made everything free?
213
00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:30,667
Yeah, Sue called me this morning.
214
00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:34,713
People are going apeshit, grabbing all
the legendary loot boxes and OP weapons.
215
00:12:35,297 --> 00:12:37,216
It's a free-for-all. Literally.
216
00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:38,342
That's bad.
217
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,511
As we speak,
thousands of super leveled-up players
218
00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:42,638
are churning through the new
Raven's Banquet content
219
00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:44,181
like it's wet tissue paper.
220
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:47,434
-That's worse. That's worse.
-Okay, don't panic. It's cool.
221
00:12:47,518 --> 00:12:48,977
No, no. This is not cool.
222
00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:51,647
This is a red-hot poker
straight up my backdoor.
223
00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:53,273
Okay. We can't cave to Brad.
224
00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:55,234
This is hurting him
worse than it's hurting us.
225
00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:58,195
He loves money more than anything.
Brad is gonna cave.
226
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:02,157
It took two years to build Raven's
Banquet, and they're tearing through it.
227
00:13:02,241 --> 00:13:04,076
Can't you just turn the prices back on?
228
00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:06,203
Brad's the only one
with financial access privileges.
229
00:13:08,247 --> 00:13:11,291
I know. Okay. You know what?
I think you just need to sit down.
230
00:13:11,375 --> 00:13:14,044
Just sit down. Just sit down.
Stop making that noise.
231
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:18,173
Just breathe. Just breathe for me.
Just calm breathing. It's in and out.
232
00:13:18,549 --> 00:13:19,716
Out.
233
00:13:20,175 --> 00:13:21,885
And maybe take a breath mint.
234
00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:24,388
Just breathe in that direction,
'cause your breath is not great.
235
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:25,889
This is what I'm gonna do, all right?
236
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:27,683
I'm gonna get my team
to throw up some roadblocks.
237
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:30,227
We can increase boss fight difficulty,
extend raids,
238
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,854
nerf all the most powerful weapons.
239
00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:34,815
Yeah, you just need to be cool.
Can you do that? Can you be cool?
240
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,402
Give me a nonverbal signal
that you're cool.
241
00:13:39,403 --> 00:13:42,531
Hey, there's my guy! You got this.
242
00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:44,116
Let's go to the coders' room.
243
00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:47,327
Good. Yes, you're doing great.
Just keep it cool.
244
00:13:47,411 --> 00:13:48,704
-You don't need to be striding so much.
-Yeah.
245
00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:49,872
Announcement!
246
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:54,668
Michelle?
247
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:56,628
That's my name.
248
00:13:56,712 --> 00:13:58,088
Where is everybody?
249
00:13:58,714 --> 00:14:00,007
Brad sent them home.
250
00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:02,092
He said without him,
you don't have the money
251
00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:05,012
to pay for a full programming team,
so they left.
252
00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:08,932
This isn't gonna work. There's no way
I can code that many roadblocks on my own.
253
00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,809
Okay, so, this is the part
where I'm gonna freak out.
254
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:13,020
-Don't freak out.
-Well, what are we gonna do?
255
00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:15,898
I guess right now you must be realizing
that you need Brad.
256
00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:18,066
-Shut up, Michelle!
-Shut up, Michelle!
257
00:14:18,150 --> 00:14:20,402
He paid me a thousand dollars
to say that.
258
00:14:27,201 --> 00:14:30,412
Pootie, Pootie, Pootie... exclusive.
259
00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:33,290
So, since they won't unmask
the Masked Man,
260
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:37,503
I've been thinking,
I'm going to unmask Ian Grimm.
261
00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:40,547
So, who is Ian Grimm?
262
00:14:40,631 --> 00:14:45,469
Well, according to his LinkedIn page,
he's a "builder of worlds."
263
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:49,431
Whatever that means.
And check out his thirsty profile pic.
264
00:14:49,515 --> 00:14:50,724
Thirsty!
265
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,434
So at least we know he's desperate.
266
00:14:52,518 --> 00:14:57,940
Oh, and a little known fact.
He's also a destroyer of dads.
267
00:14:58,023 --> 00:15:02,277
That is right. You heard it here first
on the Pootie Scoop.
268
00:15:02,361 --> 00:15:07,491
Ian Grimm sued his own dad!
"Prove it, Pootie"? Okay, cutie.
269
00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:11,828
Mr. Grimm,
is it true that you told your father
270
00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:13,789
that you'd take every last cent he had?
271
00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:17,668
I don't know.
Is it true that I **** your mom?
272
00:15:18,794 --> 00:15:21,630
Okay. Can you please answer the question
and not be nasty?
273
00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:23,715
That's what I said to your mom.
274
00:15:23,799 --> 00:15:25,884
All right. This is getting exhausting.
275
00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:27,970
Why don't we just take
a five-minute break?
276
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,347
That's what your mom said.
277
00:15:32,391 --> 00:15:34,017
What an asshole.
278
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:36,937
Nips. Thanks for watching.
279
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:39,022
How did he find out about the lawsuit?
280
00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:40,274
I leaked it to him.
281
00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:41,984
Why? Why would you do that?
282
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:44,570
'Cause you sued your own dad.
That's so badass.
283
00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:46,530
If you would treat
your own father like that,
284
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:48,782
imagine what you're gonna do
to a little piece of shit like Pootie.
285
00:15:48,866 --> 00:15:52,703
Jo, I countersued my dad because
he tried to take my company, all right?
286
00:15:55,747 --> 00:15:57,791
-So he's the badass.
-No, he's not a badass.
287
00:15:57,875 --> 00:15:59,585
He's not a badass.
I'm not a badass.
288
00:15:59,668 --> 00:16:01,378
There is no badass in the situation,
all right?
289
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:04,965
It's a very sad story of a father
and a son. It's complicated.
290
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:06,842
Oh, no. I failed you.
291
00:16:07,718 --> 00:16:09,678
I'm just gonna read my own meme
and kill myself.
292
00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:12,639
Jesus Christ! Jo, Jo, Jo.
293
00:16:12,723 --> 00:16:15,100
Can we just stop talking about suicide?
294
00:16:15,184 --> 00:16:17,477
Can we just--
Can we just stop for a second?
295
00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:19,938
And why don't you go and serve David.
296
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:23,233
See, that would be the best way
to serve me. Serve David.
297
00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:25,194
-Poison?
-Not poison.
298
00:16:25,277 --> 00:16:26,904
Not poison.
299
00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:30,574
Just anything he wants.
Coffee, tea. Nonlethal.
300
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:33,076
Got it. Just make him sick
so he can't get in your way.
301
00:16:33,452 --> 00:16:34,828
Yeah. Jo, I--
302
00:16:36,455 --> 00:16:38,123
I think we're gonna have to let her go.
303
00:16:38,207 --> 00:16:40,292
No. Ian,
304
00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:45,130
the lunatic assistant
may have just unlocked this whole thing.
305
00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:47,007
She did?
306
00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:50,928
She realizes the relationship
between a parent and a child
307
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:53,472
is what's emotionally investing.
308
00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:56,683
She also wants to murder David.
309
00:16:56,767 --> 00:17:00,646
Ian, this could be the emotional core
we've been looking for.
310
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:04,942
The Masked Man
is a story of a father and a son.
311
00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:07,402
Interesting. Go on.
312
00:17:07,486 --> 00:17:09,780
The father's a villain
who represents the dark.
313
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:13,242
But he has a son. A new character.
314
00:17:13,325 --> 00:17:15,536
And the son is the light.
315
00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:17,663
They're destined to duel.
316
00:17:18,372 --> 00:17:20,207
But before he slays him,
317
00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:25,170
the son brings the father from the dark
back to the light.
318
00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:29,466
And as he lay there dying,
the mask is removed.
319
00:17:30,509 --> 00:17:33,929
The Masked Man is the new hero's...
320
00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:35,305
father.
321
00:17:37,683 --> 00:17:39,101
That is...
322
00:17:40,686 --> 00:17:41,770
Star Wars.
323
00:17:42,813 --> 00:17:45,107
-"Star Wars"?
-Yeah. The movie?
324
00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:47,317
Came out in the '70s.
Like, one of the biggest ever?
325
00:17:47,401 --> 00:17:50,904
Well, admittedly, the '70s were a bit
of a blur, but it is ringing some bells.
326
00:17:50,988 --> 00:17:53,365
Yeah, I'll bet. They've made, like,
20 of 'em. They're still making 'em.
327
00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,117
-Really? Why?
-Nobody knows.
328
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,619
Either way, it's a story that's been told,
so we can't tell it again.
329
00:17:57,703 --> 00:17:59,872
Why not? It's a monomyth trope.
330
00:18:00,664 --> 00:18:02,958
It's been done for millennia.
331
00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:07,004
The Odyssey. King Arthur.
Anything Tolkien. It's the classics.
332
00:18:07,546 --> 00:18:09,047
Right.
It's The Hero with a Thousand Faces.
333
00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:10,132
Yes.
334
00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:11,925
The Masked Man is a villain. I like it.
335
00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:15,179
Okay. But it still needs something,
doesn't it?
336
00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:19,433
We need something unique
that unifies the story.
337
00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:22,019
We need a Death Star.
338
00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:26,023
A "Death Star."
339
00:18:29,193 --> 00:18:30,194
What is that?
340
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:31,653
Okay. Let's go watch the movie first.
341
00:18:31,737 --> 00:18:33,780
You know what?
Let's watch the movie, and then we'll...
342
00:18:33,864 --> 00:18:35,199
-Death Star?
-Yeah, come to my office.
343
00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:36,283
Who buys that?
344
00:18:37,576 --> 00:18:39,077
Can you stop running?
345
00:18:39,161 --> 00:18:40,954
He will not pick up! Goddamn it, Brad.
346
00:18:41,038 --> 00:18:42,915
All right. Get in the car.
We're going to his house.
347
00:18:42,998 --> 00:18:44,750
-David?
-Yeah?
348
00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:47,920
-What the hell?
-Forget to pay your parking tickets?
349
00:18:48,003 --> 00:18:49,630
No. No. I paid my--
350
00:18:50,506 --> 00:18:51,757
Oh, my God.
351
00:18:52,758 --> 00:18:56,261
I bought this car with the bonus money
we got from Brad's sexy wood nymph.
352
00:18:57,012 --> 00:18:58,597
How the hell did he know that?
353
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,141
Maybe from the license plate?
354
00:19:01,225 --> 00:19:03,977
"Nymph Daddy"?
Really? You're the nymph daddy?
355
00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:07,231
I was-- Look, never mind.
Let's just take your car.
356
00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:08,899
I don't have a car. I'll call us a Lyft.
357
00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:11,109
You don't have a car?
How do you not have a car?
358
00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:13,028
You have 36 laptops and no car.
359
00:19:13,111 --> 00:19:15,072
Can I just say, this is why
you have trouble finding a man.
360
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:18,116
You know who didn't have trouble
finding a man? Your ex-wife.
361
00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:22,788
Sorry. That was really out of line.
I'm sorry. That was--
362
00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:24,748
-No, you're right.
-No, it was--
363
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:27,292
Your tension is kind of getting to me.
You-- You need to calm down.
364
00:19:27,376 --> 00:19:30,504
If we turn up at Brad's all panicked,
he's gonna think that he owns us.
365
00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:31,880
He does own us.
366
00:19:31,964 --> 00:19:34,258
Shit. My account's been deactivated.
367
00:19:36,093 --> 00:19:38,136
That's 'cause it's connected
to the corporate card.
368
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:41,098
It's connected to the corporate card,
you stupid, stupid girl!
369
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:43,600
-Woman.
-Women own cars! All right.
370
00:19:43,684 --> 00:19:45,102
So many stereotypes.
371
00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:47,271
-All right. Let's go back in.
-I don't know. Okay.
372
00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:51,733
I don't care if we have to run
to his house. We need Brad here now.
373
00:19:51,817 --> 00:19:55,529
David, just calm down. I think that
your blood sugar is running a little low.
374
00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:58,115
We just need to have a little snack,
375
00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:00,158
and then we can talk
through this rationally.
376
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:07,624
Where the fuck
are my ice-cream sandwiches?
377
00:20:07,708 --> 00:20:09,042
-Poppy.
-Goddamn it, Brad!
378
00:20:09,126 --> 00:20:10,752
-I bought these with my own money!
-Poppy.
379
00:20:10,836 --> 00:20:12,796
When I find that son of a bitch,
I am gonna end him!
380
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,006
He's right there.
381
00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:19,469
Brad. Brad? Brad. We need you.
382
00:20:19,553 --> 00:20:22,264
Listen, buddy,
my ice-cream sandwiches are not for--
383
00:20:22,347 --> 00:20:23,390
Poppy.
384
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:26,768
I'm sorry I called you
a bottom-feeding corporate leech.
385
00:20:26,852 --> 00:20:28,937
-I thought it was "soulless money-suck."
-That too.
386
00:20:29,021 --> 00:20:32,065
Look, Brad, please,
can you just turn the prices back on?
387
00:20:32,149 --> 00:20:34,401
-Yeah, yeah. I already did that.
-You did? You caved?
388
00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:36,778
No, no. Ian agreed to unmask
the Masked Man at the casino,
389
00:20:36,862 --> 00:20:38,113
so I got everything I wanted.
390
00:20:38,739 --> 00:20:42,743
Yeah. You see, C.W. and I
figured out a way to unify everything.
391
00:20:42,826 --> 00:20:45,746
The Masked Man is a villain
who lives at a casino.
392
00:20:45,829 --> 00:20:46,955
Yeah, and it makes sense
393
00:20:47,039 --> 00:20:49,166
because the Masked Man
was a walking casino anyway.
394
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:51,168
You know, a loot giver, a loot taker.
395
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:52,336
Check this out.
396
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:55,547
"The Masked Man's
Hall of Games and Chance."
397
00:20:55,631 --> 00:20:58,967
We're also going to create
a new character, the White Knight,
398
00:20:59,051 --> 00:21:01,053
who's destined to duel the Masked Man
399
00:21:01,136 --> 00:21:04,014
and eventually unmask him...
at the casino.
400
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:08,477
See, the story brings the players in
and the casino bleeds them dry.
401
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:11,522
Guys, it's the perfect fusion
of art and commerce.
402
00:21:11,605 --> 00:21:13,357
But, Ian, don't you hate Brad?
403
00:21:13,732 --> 00:21:16,193
Hate him? Oh, yeah, I do hate him.
404
00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:18,695
-Yeah, I feel nothing for him.
-He's a sociopath.
405
00:21:18,779 --> 00:21:22,908
But the money that he brings in
makes the whole game actually run.
406
00:21:23,909 --> 00:21:25,369
You get that, right?
407
00:21:26,578 --> 00:21:27,621
-Yeah.
-Yeah, duh.
408
00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:28,872
-Yeah, of course.
-Obviously.
409
00:21:28,956 --> 00:21:30,874
-Yes.
-No, we're cool. Yeah.
410
00:21:30,958 --> 00:21:33,043
-To be clear, David, you are not cool.
-No.
411
00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:35,671
Well... yeah. Well, she said I was.
412
00:21:36,588 --> 00:21:38,048
I lied to him.
413
00:21:42,553 --> 00:21:43,971
Okay. Well, great.
414
00:21:44,054 --> 00:21:46,306
So I guess you guys can spruce up
the casino. There's a lot of bugs.
415
00:21:46,390 --> 00:21:49,351
Testers found a whole bunch of 'em.
So that will be fun for you.
416
00:21:49,434 --> 00:21:51,520
Right. Well, that's her, not me.
Hey, by the way, who is it?
417
00:21:52,646 --> 00:21:53,689
The Masked Man. Who is he?
418
00:21:53,772 --> 00:21:58,360
Oh, yeah. The Masked Man
is the White Knight's father.
419
00:22:00,028 --> 00:22:01,321
Like Star Wars.
420
00:22:01,905 --> 00:22:05,117
It is a bit like Star Wars, yeah.
I was hoping you wouldn't notice.
421
00:22:06,535 --> 00:22:08,203
That was a crazy crunch, huh?
422
00:22:09,371 --> 00:22:11,290
We logged, like,
a hundred bugs last night.
423
00:22:11,373 --> 00:22:13,834
Hey. We broke our personal record.
424
00:22:14,293 --> 00:22:16,879
-Livin' the dream!
-Yeah.
425
00:22:20,966 --> 00:22:22,009
Well...
426
00:22:24,469 --> 00:22:26,054
back to reality.
427
00:22:26,597 --> 00:22:27,598
Yeah.
428
00:22:34,271 --> 00:22:36,773
I'll go tell 'em we're done.
429
00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:38,233
-Sweet.
-Sweet.
430
00:22:38,317 --> 00:22:39,359
Yeah.
431
00:22:40,319 --> 00:22:42,029
Okay. I'll see you tomorrow.
432
00:22:42,112 --> 00:22:44,740
All right. Peace out, girl scout.
34730
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