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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:04,045 (fireworks popping) 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:13,472 - LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA, Y'ALL READY FOR THIS BITCH? 5 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,724 [cheers and applause] 6 00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:21,062 Y'ALL GIVE IT UP FOR MR. KATT WILLIAMS! 7 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,777 [heartbeat] 8 00:00:26,819 --> 00:00:29,738 - AS FAR RETIREMENTS GO, 9 00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:35,202 THIS ONE HAS CLEARLY HIT ROCK BOTTOM. 10 00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:40,207 BUT NOW, WHAT A WONDERFUL PLACE TO BE. 11 00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:43,502 AND LOOK AT ALL OF THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. 12 00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:46,171 QUESTION IS, WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND 13 00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:49,591 CAN COME FROM THREE YEARS LIVING UNDER A ROCK 14 00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:54,137 AND THEN COME BACK INTO THIS? 15 00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:57,432 WHY, YOU NEED MORE THAN YOUR HAIR DONE UP 16 00:00:57,474 --> 00:01:02,187 IN THE MAYOR OF WHOVILLE STYLE AND A CAPE. 17 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:07,317 LUCKILY FOR ME, I ALWAYS HAVE A SECRET WEAPON. 18 00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:09,069 [heartbeat] 19 00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:12,197 [MC Hammer by Rick Ross] 20 00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:20,247 ♪ ♪ 21 00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:26,461 - BOSS. 22 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:30,424 RICKY ROSS. 23 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:32,467 IT'S TRIPLE "C". 24 00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:34,386 COLOR, CUT, CLARITY. 25 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,555 ♪ MY GUN DIRTY ♪ 26 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:37,639 ♪ MY BRICK CLEAN ♪ 27 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:38,807 ♪ I'M RIDING DIRTY ♪ 28 00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:41,769 - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF LOS ANGELES, 29 00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:44,563 WELCOME TO 2012, GODDAMN IT! 30 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:47,524 LOOK AROUND. SHIT! 31 00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:49,109 WHOO! 32 00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:50,652 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 33 00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:55,741 2012 IS UPON US, AND BITCH NIGGAS AIN'T HAPPY ABOUT IT. 34 00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:57,409 I GOTTA TELL YOU WHY. 35 00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:00,412 FIRST OF ALL, HOW MANY PEOPLE IS HAPPY THAT BARACK OBAMA 36 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:03,624 IS THE PRESIDENT OF THESE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA? 37 00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:07,168 [cheers and applause] 38 00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:11,590 NOW, I UNDERSTAND HOW THAT COULD BE A DIVISIVE ISSUE. 39 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:14,509 BUT AMERICA AIN'T ABOUT DIVISION, GODDAMN IT. 40 00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,219 IT'S ABOUT UNITY. 41 00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:19,389 AND NEVER HAVE WHITE PEOPLE AND BLACK PEOPLE 42 00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:22,350 BEEN SO UNITED AND DISGUSTED 43 00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:27,355 AT THE SAME GODDAMN TIME AS WE ARE RIGHT NOW. 44 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:31,693 WHITE PEOPLE, LET ME SAY THIS IN FRONT OF NIGGAS. 45 00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:34,822 WE HAVE HAD A BLACK PRESIDENT FOR QUITE SOME TIME RIGHT NOW, 46 00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:38,283 AND WE HAVE NOT HAD AN OPPORTUNITY AS NIGGAS 47 00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:40,119 TO THANK YOU, WHITE PEOPLE, 48 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,747 FOR THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE LET OUR COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF, 49 00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:47,126 A NIGGA, RUN THIS GODDAMN COUNTRY. 50 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,543 WE APPRECIATE THAT. 51 00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,211 YOU DIDN'T KILL HIM. 52 00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:52,297 YOU LET THE NIGGA SHOW UP TO WORK. 53 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,258 WE THANK YOU VERY MUCH, WHITE PEOPLE. 54 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,552 UNDERSTAND THAT FROM NIGGAS. 55 00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:58,929 [cheers and applause] 56 00:02:58,971 --> 00:03:02,474 NOW, WHAT YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND, WHITE PEOPLE, 57 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,893 IS WE HAVE BEEN CONFUSED 58 00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:08,438 EVER SINCE THE NIGGA GOT ELECTED. 59 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,399 WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. 60 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,568 WE WORKING ON FAITH, WHITE PEOPLE. 61 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:14,569 UNDERSTAND... 62 00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:16,321 - THAT'S RIGHT. 63 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,406 - WHEN A NIGGA TAKES THE OFFICE, 64 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:22,703 AS NIGGAS, WE HAVE A MEETING. 65 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,956 WHITE PEOPLE--"WHAT?" 66 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,752 AS NIGGAS, WE HAVE A MEETING. 67 00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:33,505 WE DECIDED WE WAS GONNA SUPPORT HIM. 68 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,175 NOW, AS A NIGGA, 69 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:39,678 IT IS HARD FOR US TO NOT TALK SHIT 70 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,764 ABOUT WHAT A MOTHERFUCKER'S DOING ON HIS GODDAMN JOB. 71 00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:45,392 THAT'S KIND OF OUR SHIT IS TO TALK SHIT 72 00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:47,519 ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK YOU SHOULD BE DOING. 73 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:52,524 NOW, NIGGAS SOMEHOW SWALLOWED ALL THAT. 74 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:56,695 AND NIGGAS SUPPORTED OBAMA EVERY STEP OF THE GODDAMN WAY. 75 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,238 AND IN THE BEGINNING, 76 00:03:58,279 --> 00:04:00,657 WE WAS TALKING WITH BASS IN OUR VOICE, 77 00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:03,493 AND USING GESTURES, AND STOMPING OUR FEET AND SHIT. 78 00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:06,246 LOOK, HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS 79 00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:08,916 TO RUN THIS COUNTRY IN THE GODDAMN GROUND? 80 00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:11,919 NOW, YOU WANT THIS NIGGA TO DO MAGIC? 81 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,379 THAT WAS US EIGHT MONTHS AFTER THE ELECTION. 82 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:15,923 THAT WAS US. 83 00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:19,676 FOUR MONTHS AFTER THAT, WE HAD LOST ALL THE BASS OUR VOICE. 84 00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:22,221 WE JUST--"LOOK, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS NIGGA IS DOING, 85 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,264 "BUT HE'S TRYING, OKAY? 86 00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:25,807 "YOU GOT TO GIVE THIS NIGGA A CHANCE. 87 00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:28,393 "WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK HE WORKING WITH RIGHT NOW. 88 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:31,772 HE--" 89 00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:34,566 WHITE PEOPLE, LET ME JUST TELL YOU, ON BEHALF OF NIGGAS, 90 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:39,571 NOBODY WATCHES A PRESIDENTIAL SPEECH HARDER THAN NIGGAS. 91 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:43,575 WE BE WAITING ON THIS NIGGA TO SAY ANYTHING 92 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,411 THAT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH US. 93 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,621 WE J-- 94 00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:52,626 [laughter] 95 00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:59,633 WHITE PEOPLE, I'VE BEEN SO PROUD OF Y'ALL. 96 00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:02,261 Y'ALL HAVE BECOME NIGGAS IN THIS RECESSION 97 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:05,013 THE WAY I KNEW YOU COULD. 98 00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:06,681 OH, LOOK AT WHITE PEOPLE-- 99 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,309 "WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'BECAME NIGGAS'?" OH, YES. 100 00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:12,437 OH, WE ALL NIGGAS NOW. YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT? 101 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,648 YOU DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT THE 99%? 102 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:16,608 THAT'S NIGGAS. 103 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:20,445 MM-HMM. MM-HMM. 104 00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:28,369 NOT GONNA BE ABOUT RACE NO MORE IN 2012. 105 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,622 MM-MM. IT'S BIGGER THAN THAT. 106 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:34,459 AIN'T ABOUT WHITE AND BLACK. NO, NO, AIN'T ABOUT THAT. 107 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,796 IT'S ABOUT YOU VERSUS THEM. 108 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,799 THEM VERSUS US. 109 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:44,552 WE VERSUS THEM. 110 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:47,889 AND FUCK THEY MOTHERFUCKING ASSES BEFORE WE BEGIN. 111 00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:48,974 NOW, 112 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,059 UNDERSTAND THIS, WHITE PEOPLE, 113 00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:54,353 YOU CANNOT CONFUSE THE FACTS. 114 00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:57,316 YOU ONLY VOTED FOR THIS NIGGA BECAUSE HE WAS 115 00:05:57,356 --> 00:06:00,652 KIND OF A NIGGA. 116 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:04,489 HE WASN'T NO FULL-FLEDGED NIGGA. 117 00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:08,035 YOU WASN'T GONNA PUT NO WHOLE NIGGA 118 00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:10,453 IN THE GODDAMN WHITE HOUSE. 119 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:13,498 AND NOW YOU WANNA BLAME THIS NIGGA 120 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:16,584 FOR NOT DOING NIGGARDLY SHIT? 121 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:20,463 "HE NEVER GETS ANGRY. HE NEVER RAISES HIS VOICE. 122 00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:24,885 HE'S JUST NOT STRONG ENOUGH. HE WON'T--" 123 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:27,386 YOU WANT HIM TO BE A NIGGA? 124 00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:30,349 I DON'T THINK YOU WANT HIM TO BE A NIGGA. I DON'T-- 125 00:06:30,389 --> 00:06:31,808 I DON'T THINK YOU READY TO SEE MICHELLE OBAMA 126 00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:33,894 COME TO THE NEWS CONFERENCE IN FLIP-FLOPS. 127 00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:35,062 I DON'T THINK YOU'RE READY. 128 00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:40,441 [laughter] 129 00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:50,785 WHITE PEOPLE, YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND, 130 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,620 WE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER. 131 00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:55,790 AS BLACK PEOPLE, WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK WAS GON' HAPPEN. 132 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:59,794 ALL WE KNEW WAS IT WAS TIME FOR SOME SHIT TO HAPPEN. 133 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:01,046 THAT'S ALL WE KNEW. 134 00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:02,756 YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE US IN THE FACT 135 00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:06,385 THAT WE VOTED FOR A NIGGA TO BE A SUPERHERO 136 00:07:06,425 --> 00:07:10,722 AND FORGOT TO ASK THE NIGGA, "COULD HE FLY?" 137 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:14,434 [laughter] 138 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:20,190 WHITE PEOPLE, YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND HOW READY NIGGAS WAS 139 00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:21,733 THE DAY AFTER THE ELECTION. 140 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,484 YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND. 141 00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:26,029 WE WAS READY FOR ANYTHING. 142 00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:28,656 THAT NIGGA COULD HAVE SAID ANYTHING. 143 00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:31,910 WE WAS AT THE HOUSE IN DOUBLE DUTCH MODE, JUST... 144 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:35,080 [laughter] 145 00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:42,587 THAT NIGGA COULD HAVE SAID ANYTHING. 146 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:45,006 BARACK OBAMA COULD HAVE CAME OUT THE NEXT DAY AFTER THE ELECTION 147 00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:46,716 AND SAID, "I WANT ALL NIGGAS 148 00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:50,887 TO GO OUTSIDE AND CLEAN UP TRASH," 149 00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:53,932 AND IT'D HAVE BEEN GANGBANGERS ALL OVER INGLEWOOD JUST... 150 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:58,061 [laughter] 151 00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:00,563 I DON'T THINK YOU WANNA 152 00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:02,565 DROP THAT RIGHT THERE TODAY, MY NIGGA. 153 00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:06,069 YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING? 154 00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:09,614 [laughter] 155 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:12,159 NOW, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK GOING ON. 156 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:15,078 WE JUST WAITING ON OBAMA TO GIVE US OUR WORD. 157 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,913 WE'VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG, 158 00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:19,458 THAT NIGGA COULD GIVE US ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. 159 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,625 THAT NIGGA COULD GIVE NIGGAS 160 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,711 FREE SMALL FRIES EVERY 14th THURSDAY, 161 00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:27,632 AND THAT WOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH. 162 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:31,594 BUT, WHITE PEOPLE, WHAT WE AIN'T GONNA LET YOU DO 163 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:34,764 IS TALK ABOUT THIS NIGGA LIKE HE AIN'T A CHILD OF GOD. 164 00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:37,558 THIS NIGGA BEEN OUT THERE DOING HIS GODDAMN JOB. 165 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,935 I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING, 166 00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:41,729 I DO SEEM TO REMEMBER THAT FOR EIGHT YEARS, 167 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:45,484 WE COULDN'T FIND THE SAME ONE GODDAMN TERRORIST 168 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,985 WE WAS LOOKING FOR. 169 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:50,738 I SAID, "ONE GODDAMN TERRORIST THAT WE WAS LOOKING FOR." 170 00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:55,994 I SAID, "ONE GODDAMN TERRORIST THAT WE WAS LOOKING FOR." 171 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,163 AND MY GODDAMN PRESIDENT 172 00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,915 DONE KILLED EVERY GODDAMN TERRORIST 173 00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:03,293 THAT EVER GODDAMN LIVED. 174 00:09:03,335 --> 00:09:04,961 YOU CAN SAY WHAT YOU WANT. 175 00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:09,716 [cheers and applause] 176 00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:13,887 I'M NOT SAYING IF YOU PUT A NIGGA IN THE WHITE HOUSE, 177 00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:17,015 HE WON'T FUCK UP THE CREDIT OF THE COUNTRY. 178 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:20,143 [laughter] 179 00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:23,104 BUT IF YOU WANT SOME TERRORISTS, 180 00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:25,273 YOU GET YOURSELF A NIGGA. 181 00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:28,235 BARACK OBAMA DIDN'T HAVE TO SEND IN 182 00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:32,572 THE ARMY, AND THE NAVY, AND THE COAST GUARD. 183 00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:35,909 BARACK OBAMA SENT THREE MOTHERFUCKERS IN. 184 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,869 KILLED EVERY TERRORIST. 185 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,705 JUST ONE TO SHOOT 'EM, AND TWO TO POSE. 186 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,999 JUST...BAP, BAP! 187 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:47,962 ♪ THE LAND OF THE FREE ♪ 188 00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:51,841 [cheers and applause] 189 00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:55,262 WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT NONE OF THAT BULLSHIT. 190 00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:58,014 I THOUGHT PRESIDENT BUSH SAID 191 00:09:58,056 --> 00:10:03,019 THAT OSAMA BIN LADEN WAS THE AXIS OF EVIL. 192 00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:08,149 I THOUGHT HE SAID HE WAS BEELZEBUB HIMSELF. 193 00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:10,110 FOR MY SPANISH FRIENDS, 194 00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:13,905 "SATAN, EL DIABLO." 195 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,783 [laughter] 196 00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:18,618 NOT MY MOTHERFUCKING PRESIDENT. 197 00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:20,745 MY PRESIDENT FOUND THAT MOTHERFUCKER IN AN UNFURNISHED, 198 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:23,831 ONE-BEDROOM APARTMENT WITH TWO GODDAMN MATTRESSES, 199 00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:27,919 NO BACKBOARD, ONE BITCH, NO PHONE, NO GUN, 200 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,755 THREE LAPTOPS, AND A SMART PHONE. 201 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:33,174 THERE'S SOME DRUG DEALERS IN HERE TONIGHT, 202 00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:36,928 GOT THAT IN AN ESCALADE. 203 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,930 NO. 204 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,308 NO, YOU DON'T WANNA FUCK WITH AMERICA, BABY. 205 00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:46,062 UH-UH, ALL THE TERRORISTS GONE. 206 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:48,773 WHAT OF FUCKING SADDAM HUSSEIN? 207 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:53,069 OH, HE WAS A DICTATOR FOR 40 YEARS. 208 00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:57,073 THEY PULLED THAT MOTHERFUCKER OUT OF A EIGHT-FOOT HOLE 209 00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:58,325 WITH A TWINKIE, A DING-DONG, 210 00:10:58,366 --> 00:11:01,620 AND A KING JAMES VERSION OF A COPY OF THE BIBLE. 211 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,913 THAT NIGGA CAME OUT THE HOLE 212 00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:07,792 LOOKING LIKE ME WITH NO PERM IN A MUG SHOT. 213 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:12,713 [laughter] 214 00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:23,724 YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT. 215 00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,101 DUDE SAID, "YOU'RE UGLY." 216 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:28,438 YEAH, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO THINK THAT, FAG. 217 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:33,443 I DON'T DO THIS SHIT FOR WHAT MEN THINK. 218 00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:36,695 WE'RE ALL MEN. WE ALL THINK LIKE MEN. 219 00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:39,658 BUT I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING-- 220 00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:42,160 IF YOU WANNA KNOW SOMETHING THAT'LL SUSTAIN YOU, 221 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,953 LET ME SHOW YOU A LITTLE SECRET 222 00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:46,414 AS TO WHAT GIVES ME THE STRENGTH TO SAY 223 00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:49,125 "FUCK SATAN" RIGHT IN HIS MOTHERFUCKING FACE. 224 00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:53,087 LADIES, WOULD YOU MAKE SOME MOTHERFUCKING NOISE ONE TIME? 225 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,131 [women cheering] 226 00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:57,258 WHOO! 227 00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:58,843 WELL... 228 00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:03,848 WELL, SWEET BABY JESUS, HOO, HOO, HOO. 229 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,893 YES, FELLAS. IT'S 2012. 230 00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:10,813 IF YOU GOT YOU A GIRL, TIME TO STOP FUCKING AROUND. 231 00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:13,692 IT'S 2012, IT'S THE GODDAMN FOURTH QUARTER. 232 00:12:13,732 --> 00:12:16,277 WHATEVER DECISION YOU FUCKING MADE, 233 00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:18,697 IT'S DONE NOW. 234 00:12:18,737 --> 00:12:22,283 NOW, LADIES, THAT DON'T APPLY TO Y'ALL. 235 00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:23,868 I UNDERSTAND SOME OF Y'ALL 236 00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:27,288 MIGHT BE IN HERE WITH A STEPPIN' STONE NIGGA. 237 00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:31,084 YOU KNOW, SOMEBODY TO GET YOU THROUGH TILL YOU SEE YOURSELF. 238 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:37,173 NOTHIN' WRONG WITH THAT. 239 00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:40,427 BUT 2012 HAS COME, AND THEY GOT SOME SURPRISES FOR US, 240 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:41,886 AND YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO 241 00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,347 MAKE SURE YOU GOT SOMETHING IN YOUR LIFE 242 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,765 THAT BELONG YOU-- 243 00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:48,767 SOME SHIT THAT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU. 244 00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:51,730 WHAT I'M SAYING FELLAS, 245 00:12:51,770 --> 00:12:54,941 IF YOU GOT A WOMAN THAT'S SPECIAL IN YOUR LIFE, 246 00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:58,111 PUT THE GAMES ON HOLD FOR A SECOND, 247 00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:01,780 AND FUCK THIS BITCH LIKE YOU NEED HER IN YOUR GODDAMN LIFE. 248 00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:05,784 JUST FUCK HER LIKE YOU NEED HER IN YOUR GODDAMN LIFE, 249 00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:07,912 IN CASE THE WORLD COME TO AN END ON 2012. 250 00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:10,457 NOW, LADIES... 251 00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:13,251 LADIES, WE NEED Y'ALL 252 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:17,213 COME ON BACK HOME. 253 00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:21,884 I UNDERSTAND SOME OF YOU LADIES DONE GOT BESIDE YOURSELF. 254 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,219 WE DIDN'T SAY SHIT. 255 00:13:23,261 --> 00:13:25,096 WE SAW IT HAPPENING, WE DIDN'T SAY SHIT. 256 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:28,099 WE SAW Y'ALL GOING OFF TO THE LITTLE FREAKY NASTY, 257 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:31,561 LITTLE DIRTY, LITTLE SNEAKY FREAKY, LITTLE NASTY STORE. 258 00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:34,439 AND WE SAW YOU PURCHASING YOURSELF ITEMS 259 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:37,233 FOR 24, 29, 39.95, 260 00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:40,819 AND WE KNOW YOU GOT YOURSELF A RABBIT AND A BULLET, 261 00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:43,030 AND A BULLET WITH A RABBIT. 262 00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:45,450 NOW, THERE AIN'T NOTHING WRONG WITH IT, LADIES, 263 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:48,328 BUT TIME TO BRING YOUR ASS BACK HOME FOR 2012. 264 00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:51,289 SOME OF Y'ALL DONE FUCKED YOUR WHOLE CLITORIS UP, 265 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:52,915 FUCKING AROUND. 266 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:56,127 LOOK AT THE LADIES. "WHAT?" 267 00:13:56,169 --> 00:14:00,465 SOME OF YOU LADIES HAVE FUCKED YOUR ENTIRE VAGINA UP 268 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:03,510 BEING GREEDY. 269 00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:05,094 JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE SOMETHING 270 00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:07,888 THAT CAN HIT YOUR SPOT EVERY TIME, BITCH, 271 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:10,809 DOES NOT MEAN YOU GOT TO HIT THAT MOTHERFUCKER 272 00:14:10,849 --> 00:14:15,396 136 TIMES ON TARGET, JUST-- 273 00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:19,567 [imitates buzzing] 274 00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:25,906 FUCKED YOUR WHOLE GODDAMN CLITORIS UP. 275 00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:29,076 US FELLAS, WE REMEMBER YOUR CLITORIS THE WAY IT USED TO BE. 276 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:31,538 WE REMEMBER WHEN THAT MOTHERFUCKER WAS SO SHY 277 00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,956 IT WOULDN'T EVEN COME OUT THE HOOD. 278 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:37,001 YOU HAD TO GET DOWN THERE AND TALK SWEET TO IT AND SHIT. 279 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,336 "YOU JUST COME ON OUT OF THERE. 280 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,421 I SEE YOU IN THERE." 281 00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:45,009 [laughter] 282 00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,595 NOW YOU DONE HIT THAT MOTHERFUCKER SO MANY TIMES, 283 00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:50,056 THAT BITCH IS ALL OUTSIDE OF YOUR CLITORIS, 284 00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:52,183 JUST OUTSIDE OF THE CAMEL TOE, 285 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:56,103 PUSHING THE LABIA BACK. 286 00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:58,439 "BITCH, YOUR CLITORIS IS SCARING MY PENIS. 287 00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:03,236 YOU CAN'T EVEN--" 288 00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:07,281 [laughter] 289 00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:11,202 MY ONLY POINT IS IT'S TIME TO GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. 290 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:15,498 IT DON'T MATTER IF WHAT YOU GOT IN YOUR LIFE IS FUCKED UP. 291 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:19,627 THAT'S WHAT THE FUCK YOU GOT. 292 00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:22,963 2012 COMING, 293 00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:25,383 AND THEY NOT GOING TO TELL US THE SHIT WE NEED TO KNOW. 294 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,927 THAT'S WHY WE ALL GOT TO WORK TOGETHER. 295 00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:30,221 WHITE PEOPLE, WE NEED Y'ALL TO REMEMBER 296 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,390 THAT Y'ALL WERE HERE WITH US. 297 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:37,311 YOU LOVE MEXICANS AND NIGGAS, AND DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T. 298 00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:41,023 LOOK AT THEM ON THE SPOT. 299 00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:44,611 [laughter] 300 00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:48,364 I CERTAINLY DO. 301 00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:50,241 WHITE PEOPLE, THIS IS GONNA BE IMPORTANT. 302 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:51,951 2012 IS COMING. 303 00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:53,953 THEY SAY IT IS GONNA BE THE END OF THE WORLD, 304 00:15:53,994 --> 00:15:56,623 AND, WHITE PEOPLE, WE KNOW HOW Y'ALL DO 305 00:15:56,664 --> 00:16:01,043 WHEN Y'ALL GET SOME GODDAMN INFORMATION DON'T NOBODY KNOW. 306 00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,336 WHITE PEOPLE DON'T NEVER LEAVE. 307 00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:03,337 THEY JUST DISAPPEAR. 308 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:05,465 JUST-- 309 00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:10,010 [laughter] 310 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:15,057 NIGGAS, WE GOTTA BE CAREFUL IN 2012. 311 00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:17,184 THEY TRYING TO FUCK US OVER. 312 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:20,146 AS BLACK PEOPLE, WE NEVER LEAVE ON TIME. 313 00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:22,690 BROKE PEOPLE, WE NEVER LEAVE. 314 00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:26,110 AS BROKE FOLKS, WE ALWAYS GOT TOO MUCH SHIT, 315 00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:28,279 TOO MANY ENDS TO PUT TOGETHER. 316 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,406 NOT RICH PEOPLE. 317 00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:32,116 RICH PEOPLE GET THEY SHIT, 318 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:36,287 FIND OUT SOMETHING IS FUCKED UP, AND THEY LEAVE. 319 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,080 AND I SPEAK FOR NIGGAS. 320 00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:42,669 AND NIGGAS AIN'T GOT NOWHERE TO GODDAMN GO, WHITE PEOPLE. 321 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:45,964 IF THE TERRORISTS STRIKE, 322 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:51,135 EVERYBODY FROM IRELAND CAN GO RIGHT BACK TO IRELAND. 323 00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:59,769 EVERYBODY FROM ENGLAND GO RIGHT BACK. 324 00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:04,398 DRAKE AND 100 CANADIANS, ALL THE WAY. 325 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:08,402 ♪ MAYBE SHE WILL ♪ 326 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:09,529 WHAT ABOUT NIGGAS? 327 00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:12,156 WE GOTTA GO TO OUR GRANDMAMMA HOUSE 328 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:17,161 AND FIGURE OUT HOW MANY MINIVANS WE EVEN GOT IN THE FAMILY. 329 00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:20,247 IT'S COMING DOWN. 2012. 330 00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:22,583 WHITE PEOPLE, WE GONNA NEED YOU TO TELL US 331 00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:24,335 WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. 332 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:28,798 THEY AIN'T GONNA TELL US ON B.E.T. 333 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,299 ABOUT THE END OF THE GODDAMN WORLD. 334 00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:31,676 JUST UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING. 335 00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:34,053 THE VIDEOS STILL GONNA PLAYING. 336 00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:37,348 THEY NOT EVEN GONNA PUT SHIT DOWN AT THE BOTTOM. 337 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,684 "NIGGAS, LOOK OUTSIDE. THE WORLD IS ENDING." 338 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,644 NOTHING. 339 00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:46,774 [laughter] 340 00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:50,236 EVERY TIME I SEE MY PRESIDENT, 341 00:17:50,277 --> 00:17:52,739 IT LOOK TO ME LIKE THEY DONE TOLD THAT NIGGA SOME SHIT 342 00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:56,367 HE CAN'T FUCKING TELL US. 343 00:17:56,409 --> 00:18:01,539 EVERY TIME YOU SEE OBAMA, HE LOOKING LIKE THIS. 344 00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:06,085 [laughter] 345 00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:12,383 UNDERSTAND. 346 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:15,094 WE ALREADY KILLED ALL THE TERRORISTS. 347 00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:17,096 AIN'T NO FUCKING MORE. 348 00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:20,391 THEY BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF MUAMMAR GADDAFI'S ASS. 349 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:25,229 PLEASE TELL ME YOU SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO MUAMMAR GADDAFI. 350 00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:28,775 THAT MOTHERFUCKER WAS THE PRESIDENT OF HIS COUNTRY, 351 00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:31,652 AND, THANKS TO FACEBOOK... 352 00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:34,781 [laughter] 353 00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:36,741 THEY GAVE THIS... 354 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,284 THEY GAVE THIS MOTHERFUCKER A BEATING 355 00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:41,245 NIGGAS WASN'T EVEN FAMILIAR WITH. 356 00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:44,624 IT'S HARD TO IMPRESS NIGGAS WITH GETTING YOUR ASS WHOOPED. 357 00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:48,419 AS NIGGAS, WE'VE SEEN IT DONE ALL KINDS OF WAYS. 358 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:51,589 NEVER IN THE HISTORY OF NIGGADOM 359 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:55,259 HAVE WE EVER SEEN A MOTHERFUCKER GET HIS ASS WHOOPED 360 00:18:55,301 --> 00:19:00,264 ALL THE WAY TO AN EXECUTION. 361 00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:03,267 YOU BEAT THIS NIGGAS ASS TO KILL HIM? 362 00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:07,855 YOU COULD'VE JUST KILLED HIM. Y'ALL SORRY SONS OF BITCHES. 363 00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:09,607 AND CNN AIN'T SHIT. 364 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:13,444 CNN SAID THEY WASN'T GONNA SHOW IT WHILE THEY WERE SHOWING IT 365 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:16,196 IN SLOW MOTION, 366 00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:18,574 AND PUT SUBTITLES UNDER THIS BITCH 367 00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:22,411 SO YOU CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT HE WAS SAYING CLEARLY. 368 00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:23,412 [whoops indistinctly] 369 00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:28,126 "STOP IT. YOU'RE KILLING ME. 370 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:33,131 I AM THE PRESIDENT." 371 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,590 THEY BEAT THAT NIGGA LIKE CONRAD MURRAY 372 00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:37,844 AT A MICHAEL JACKSON CONCERT. 373 00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:39,428 [laughter] 374 00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:42,473 OH, IT-- 375 00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:49,522 2012 IS FOR REAL. 376 00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:52,316 THEY SAID THE MAYANS WAS TALKING ABOUT 2012. 377 00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:55,778 THEN THEY SAID THE MAYANS DISAPPEARED. 378 00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:57,947 I'M HERE TO TELL MY PEOPLE IT'S TIME 379 00:19:57,989 --> 00:20:00,616 TO STOP BELIEVING BULLSHIT 380 00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:03,494 JUST 'CAUSE A MOTHERFUCKER TELL YOU BULLSHIT 381 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,872 WITH A STRAIGHT LOOK ON THEIR FACE. 382 00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:07,331 WE TOO OLD, WE TOO SMART. 383 00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:10,835 WE TOO MOTHERFUCKING GOOD TO BELIEVE SHIT 384 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:13,337 DON'T MAKE NO FUCKING SENSE. 385 00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:16,174 YOU'RE TOO OLD TO BE BELIEVING IN EVOLUTION 386 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:19,510 WITH YOUR STUPID, MOTHERFUCKIN' ASS. 387 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:22,471 EVOLUTION SAY PEOPLE CAME FROM MONKEYS, 388 00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:25,683 AND THE QUESTION IS, "WHY IS THERE STILL MONKEYS, 389 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:28,227 YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER, YOU?" 390 00:20:28,268 --> 00:20:31,230 IS THESE THE RETARDED MONKEYS? 391 00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:34,441 THEY DIDN'T TURN INTO PEOPLE JUST YET? 392 00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:37,904 GET YOUR STUPID ASS THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. 393 00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,739 [laughter] 394 00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:41,448 FITTIN' TO BE 2012, 395 00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:44,243 AND YOU BETTER BELIEVE SOMETHING. 396 00:20:44,284 --> 00:20:46,286 DON'T NOBODY GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU BELIEVE. 397 00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:48,372 YOU BETTER BELIEVE SOMETHING. 398 00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:50,416 IF THERE'S ANY ATHEISTS IN THE HOUSE, 399 00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:54,461 LET ME SAY, "YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKERS." 400 00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:56,630 I DON'T CARE WHAT GOD YOU BELIEVE IN, 401 00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:58,841 YOU GOT TO BE A SPECIAL KIND OF RETARDED 402 00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:03,804 TO BE TOO STUPID TO MAKE UP A GOD IF THERE WASN'T ONE. 403 00:21:03,846 --> 00:21:07,433 POOR THING, WHO DO YOU EVEN PRAY TO? 404 00:21:07,474 --> 00:21:09,351 NOBODY. 405 00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:10,895 EVEN WHEN YOU'RE FUCKING, WHY DO YOU FUCK? 406 00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:12,271 YOU CAN'T EVEN COME. 407 00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:14,690 WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN YOU COME, ATHEIST? 408 00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:15,983 "OH, OH, OH..." 409 00:21:16,025 --> 00:21:17,944 NOTHING. THAT'S RIGHT. 410 00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:19,612 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN. 411 00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:20,905 YOU CAN'T EVEN-- 412 00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:25,451 [laughter] 413 00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:31,457 2012's COMING. 414 00:21:31,498 --> 00:21:33,459 WE ALREADY READY. 415 00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,002 BEEN READY. 416 00:21:35,044 --> 00:21:36,921 I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN-- 417 00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:38,422 BELIEVE IN SOMETHING. 418 00:21:38,464 --> 00:21:39,966 WHITE PEOPLE, LET ME TELL YOU THIS-- 419 00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:42,342 EVERY TIME YOU SEE A NIGGA, THAT DOES NOT MEAN 420 00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:47,014 THAT NIGGA HAS BEEN ENDORSED BY OTHER NIGGAS. 421 00:21:47,056 --> 00:21:48,515 WHITE PEOPLE, LET ME STAND HERE 422 00:21:48,557 --> 00:21:50,851 IN FRONT OF ALL THESE NIGGAS AND SAY PUBLICLY, 423 00:21:50,893 --> 00:21:55,355 WE WERE SO MOTHERFUCKING EMBARRASSED 424 00:21:55,397 --> 00:22:00,319 WHEN HERMAN, BLACK, JIMINY-CRICKET-ASS CAIN. 425 00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,822 CAME OUT THE GODDAMN WOODWORK. 426 00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:04,782 WHITE PEOPLE, DO YOU SEE US? 427 00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:07,952 LOOK AT NIGGAS. WE... 428 00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:13,124 WE HAD NO IDEA, WHITE PEOPLE. WE HAD NO... 429 00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:16,752 AND SOME WHITE PEOPLE LOOKING AT ME LIKE, 430 00:22:16,794 --> 00:22:18,629 "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, HIM FUCKING PEOPLE?" 431 00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:22,967 NO, NO, WE DIDN'T CLEAR THAT NIGGA. 432 00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:24,677 [laughter] 433 00:22:24,718 --> 00:22:27,054 WE DID NOT CLEAR THIS NIGGA, WHITE PEOPLE. 434 00:22:27,096 --> 00:22:29,431 DO YOU HEAR? 435 00:22:29,473 --> 00:22:32,434 AIN'T NOBODY KNOW THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA... 436 00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:35,104 WHITE PEOPLE, LET ME SAY WHEN NIGGAS FOUND OUT 437 00:22:35,146 --> 00:22:38,024 WHAT WITH THIS NIGGA'S QUALIFICATIONS WAS 438 00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:39,483 FOR RUNNING THE COUNTRY, 439 00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:42,653 WHEN WE FOUND OUT THIS NIGGA SOLD PIZZA... 440 00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:45,948 [laughter] 441 00:22:45,990 --> 00:22:47,992 LET ME USE YOUR WORD, WHITE PEOPLE, 442 00:22:48,034 --> 00:22:50,661 WE WERE FLABBERGASTED. 443 00:22:50,703 --> 00:22:53,331 [laughter] 444 00:22:53,371 --> 00:22:57,584 THE AUDACITY OF THIS NIGGA! 445 00:22:57,626 --> 00:22:59,837 IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR GOOD-PIZZA-SELLING ASS 446 00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:04,508 ON SOMEWHERE, HERMAN... 447 00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:05,926 NIGGAS THAT HAD A HARD ENOUGH TIME 448 00:23:05,968 --> 00:23:10,597 TRYING TO GODDAMN STICK UP FOR BARACK. 449 00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:12,350 HERE COME HERMAN CAIN'S STUPID ASS. 450 00:23:12,390 --> 00:23:14,352 NIGGA, YOU CAN'T BE NO GODDAMN PRESIDENT. 451 00:23:14,392 --> 00:23:17,479 NIGGA, YOUR NAME IS HERMAN CAIN. 452 00:23:17,521 --> 00:23:20,524 THAT'S TWO REASONS YOU CAN'T BE PRESIDENT, NIGGA. 453 00:23:20,566 --> 00:23:22,068 YOUR FIRST NAME IS HERMAN, NIGGA, 454 00:23:22,109 --> 00:23:24,070 YOU CAN'T BE PRESIDENT IF YOUR NAME IS HERMAN. 455 00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:26,697 NIGGA, SAY IT THREE TIMES, HERMAN, HERMAN, HERMAN. 456 00:23:26,739 --> 00:23:28,699 LISTEN TO THAT. 457 00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:30,784 WE ALREADY HAD A FAMOUS HERMAN. HE WAS A MONSTER, NIGGA, 458 00:23:30,826 --> 00:23:32,912 YOU CAN'T BE NO GODDAMN PRESIDENT. 459 00:23:32,953 --> 00:23:34,705 TALKING ABOUT YOU SOLD SOME GODDAMN PIZZA TO WHO? 460 00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:38,084 YOU DIDN'T SELL IT TO NIGGAS. 461 00:23:38,125 --> 00:23:40,836 WHITE PEOPLE, WE NEVER HEARD OF GODDAMN GODFATHER'S PIZZA, 462 00:23:40,878 --> 00:23:43,630 LET ALONE HAVE A SLICE. 463 00:23:43,672 --> 00:23:45,465 THAT NIGGA AIN'T BEEN BEATING DOMINO'S. 464 00:23:45,507 --> 00:23:46,967 DOMINO'S HAS BEEN BEATIN' THE DOG SHIT 465 00:23:47,009 --> 00:23:49,136 OUT OF THAT GODDAMN PIZZA PLACE. 466 00:23:49,178 --> 00:23:50,679 HE CAN'T EVEN BEAT LITTLE CAESARS, 467 00:23:50,721 --> 00:23:53,099 AND LITTLE CAESARS AIN'T EVEN EVERYWHERE. 468 00:23:53,140 --> 00:23:54,683 HE SURE AIN'T GONNA BEAT PAPA JOHN, 469 00:23:54,725 --> 00:23:57,435 THAT MOTHERFUCKER'S ON CRACK OR SOMETHING. 470 00:23:57,477 --> 00:23:59,437 HE WANT TO MAKE THE PIZZA, DELIVER THE PIZZA, 471 00:23:59,479 --> 00:24:01,399 EAT THE PIZZA, BE IN THE COMMERCIAL. 472 00:24:01,439 --> 00:24:04,526 PAPA JOHN'S. 473 00:24:04,568 --> 00:24:07,571 WE AIN'T GONNA BE ABLE TO BEAT HIM, HERMAN. 474 00:24:07,613 --> 00:24:09,407 YOUR LAST NAME IS CAIN, NIGGA, YOU KILLED ABEL, NIGGA. 475 00:24:09,447 --> 00:24:11,825 IF YOU DON'T GET THE FUCK UP OUT OF HERE, 476 00:24:11,867 --> 00:24:16,830 FUCKING IT UP FOR NIGGAS. 477 00:24:16,872 --> 00:24:18,874 WHOO. 478 00:24:18,916 --> 00:24:22,669 WHITE PEOPLE WANT BARACK OBAMA OUT OF OFFICE SO GODDAMN BAD. 479 00:24:22,711 --> 00:24:25,756 OH, YOU SHOULD HEAR THEM MOTHERFUCKERS ON TALK RADIO. 480 00:24:25,798 --> 00:24:27,507 OH, THEY HATE THIS NIGGA. 481 00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:29,593 IF THEY COULD SAY THE WORD "NIGGA," 482 00:24:29,635 --> 00:24:33,097 OH, THEY'D SAY IT EVERY-- 483 00:24:33,139 --> 00:24:34,098 OH, THEY HATE THIS NIGGA. 484 00:24:34,140 --> 00:24:35,682 OH... 485 00:24:35,724 --> 00:24:38,685 OH, "GODDAMN, HE'S FUCKIN' FUCKIN' UP 486 00:24:38,727 --> 00:24:42,689 THE GODDAMN COUNTRY IS WHAT HE'S DOIN'. 487 00:24:42,731 --> 00:24:46,902 GODDAMN ENTITLEMENT. 488 00:24:46,944 --> 00:24:50,156 [laughter] 489 00:24:50,197 --> 00:24:54,785 POOR NIGGA, POOR NIGGA. JUST... 490 00:24:54,827 --> 00:24:57,621 UNDERSTAND, IT'S FITTIN' TO BE 2012. 491 00:24:57,663 --> 00:24:59,915 THE MAYANS WASN'T BULLSHITTIN'. 492 00:24:59,957 --> 00:25:02,542 THE MAYANS SAID IT WAS SOME SHIT OUT THERE, 493 00:25:02,584 --> 00:25:04,878 AND THEN SUDDENLY, THE MAYANS DISAPPEARED. 494 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,173 NOW, THEY TELL US THE MAYANS DISAPPEARED 495 00:25:07,214 --> 00:25:09,925 'CAUSE THEY CAN'T FIND NONE OF THEIR FUCKIN' BONES. 496 00:25:09,967 --> 00:25:11,635 BUT LET ME REMIND YOU 497 00:25:11,677 --> 00:25:13,762 THAT YOU'VE CAN GO TO ANY MOTHERFUCKIN' MUSEUM 498 00:25:13,804 --> 00:25:15,097 ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, 499 00:25:15,139 --> 00:25:17,933 AND THEY GOT A WHOLE 62-FOOT DINOSAUR 500 00:25:17,975 --> 00:25:22,771 FROM HIS NOSE ALL THE WAY TO HIS NUT SACK, 501 00:25:22,813 --> 00:25:27,193 AND HIS TOES, 5 BILLION GODDAMN YEARS AGO. 502 00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:31,571 [laughter] 503 00:25:35,159 --> 00:25:39,746 HAD A LITTLE COMPANY USED TO BE IN AMERICA CALLED NASA, 504 00:25:39,788 --> 00:25:44,918 STANDING FOR "NATIONAL AIR SPACE EXPLORATION." 505 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,963 [laughter] 506 00:25:48,005 --> 00:25:52,968 TAKE MY WORD FOR IT, NIGGAS, IT STOOD FOR GOING UP THERE. 507 00:25:53,010 --> 00:25:56,096 LOOK AT WHITE PEOPLE--"THAT IS NOT WHAT IT STOOD FOR AT ALL." 508 00:25:56,138 --> 00:25:59,141 [laughter] 509 00:25:59,183 --> 00:26:04,104 "THAT WOULD BE N-E-A-S-A. WE DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S T--" 510 00:26:04,146 --> 00:26:06,232 THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS 511 00:26:06,273 --> 00:26:08,901 NASA USED TO REPORT TO US, 512 00:26:08,942 --> 00:26:12,821 LET US KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THEY WAS DOING. 513 00:26:12,863 --> 00:26:17,034 AND FOR 40 YEARS, THEY SPENT $500 MILLION A YEAR 514 00:26:17,076 --> 00:26:21,872 SENDING SPACE SHUTTLES UP, BRINGING THEM BACK DOWN, 515 00:26:21,914 --> 00:26:25,209 AND THEY USED TO LET US SEE 'EM WHEN THEY TOOK OFF. 516 00:26:25,251 --> 00:26:27,086 [imitates rocket] 517 00:26:27,127 --> 00:26:28,837 AND THEN WHEN THEY LANDED, WE'D BE RIGHT THERE, 518 00:26:28,879 --> 00:26:33,842 AND WE'D SAY, "SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT." 519 00:26:33,884 --> 00:26:37,721 THEN THEY STARTED DOING SNEAKY SHIT. 520 00:26:37,763 --> 00:26:39,306 TAKING OFF THE SPACE SHUTTLES 521 00:26:39,348 --> 00:26:41,892 AT 3:00 IN THE GODDAMN MORNIN' AND SHIT, 522 00:26:41,934 --> 00:26:43,894 LANDING THEM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. 523 00:26:43,936 --> 00:26:46,105 AND IF THERE AIN'T NOBODY LOOKING, THEY'D JUST WALK OFF, 524 00:26:46,146 --> 00:26:49,108 JUST--[imitates rocket] 525 00:26:49,149 --> 00:26:51,235 [laughter] 526 00:26:51,277 --> 00:26:52,986 AND NOW ON CNN, 527 00:26:53,028 --> 00:26:55,906 THEY SAY THEY JUST DISCOVERED 528 00:26:55,948 --> 00:26:59,868 16 NEW SUPER-EARTHS. 529 00:27:01,328 --> 00:27:06,292 16 NEW SUPER-EARTHS. 530 00:27:06,333 --> 00:27:10,588 NOW, LET ME SPEAK FOR ALL NIGGAS WHEN I SAY, 531 00:27:10,628 --> 00:27:15,593 "WHAT THE FUCK IS A GODDAMN SUPER-EARTH? 532 00:27:15,633 --> 00:27:18,971 "WE THOUGHT THIS MOTHERFUCKER WAS SUPER 533 00:27:19,012 --> 00:27:23,809 THE WHOLE GODDAMN TIME." 534 00:27:23,850 --> 00:27:27,146 LOOK AT NIGGAS, "I DON'T BELIEVE NONE OF THIS SHIT." 535 00:27:27,187 --> 00:27:28,772 IT'S TRUE, NIGGAS, 536 00:27:28,814 --> 00:27:31,858 THEY HAD IT ON CNN THE SAME GODDAMN DAY I WAS ON CNN. 537 00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:33,860 HOW THE FUCK COULD I HAVE MISSED THAT? 538 00:27:33,902 --> 00:27:35,821 THEY PUT THE SHIT RIGHT UP UNDER ME, 539 00:27:35,862 --> 00:27:40,909 BLEW A NIGGA'S WHOLE HIGH, JUST, "16 NEW SUPER EARTHS?" 540 00:27:40,951 --> 00:27:45,205 [laughter] 541 00:27:45,247 --> 00:27:50,043 THEY PLANNING ON LEAVING US, PEOPLE. 542 00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:53,964 [laughter] 543 00:27:54,006 --> 00:27:55,799 PLEASE REMEMBER WHERE YOU HEARD IT FIRST, 544 00:27:55,841 --> 00:27:57,884 RIGHT AT THE CUSP OF 2012. 545 00:27:57,926 --> 00:28:03,390 THEY ARE PLANNING ON LEAVING OUR MOTHERFUCKIN' ASS RIGHT THERE. 546 00:28:03,432 --> 00:28:06,185 THEY GOT SPACE SHUTTLES LINED UP 547 00:28:06,226 --> 00:28:11,064 WITH GPS NAVIGATION, ONSTAR... 548 00:28:11,106 --> 00:28:13,233 [laughter] 549 00:28:13,275 --> 00:28:18,405 'CAUSE REMEMBER WHEN I TOLD YOU THE 99%--THEM WAS NIGGAS? 550 00:28:18,447 --> 00:28:23,118 AND WE'RE THE ORIGINAL NIGGAS. 551 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:28,290 RICH PEOPLE IS TIRED OF GOING ON VACATION, SEEING NIGGAS. 552 00:28:28,332 --> 00:28:33,420 [laughter] 553 00:28:36,048 --> 00:28:39,092 RICH PEOPLE MAKE $100 MILLION DOLLARS. 554 00:28:39,134 --> 00:28:43,930 CAN'T ESCAPE NIGGAS. 555 00:28:43,972 --> 00:28:47,767 MAKE $100 MILLION DOLLARS, GO TO AFRICA FOR A SAFARI, 556 00:28:47,809 --> 00:28:51,689 AND ALL THEY WANNA SEE IS SOME ANIMALS. 557 00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:54,941 NIGGAS EVERYWHERE. 558 00:28:54,983 --> 00:28:57,236 "IT WAS A NIGGA THAT LED US TO THE GIRAFFE. 559 00:28:57,277 --> 00:29:00,489 AIN'T THAT A BITCH?" 560 00:29:00,531 --> 00:29:02,866 LOOK ON YOUR MAP WHEN YOU GET HOME. 561 00:29:02,908 --> 00:29:05,202 LOOK AT EVERYWHERE THAT NIGGAS ARE. 562 00:29:05,244 --> 00:29:09,122 SURE, THEY BROKE. 563 00:29:09,164 --> 00:29:10,374 SURE, THEY HUNGRY. 564 00:29:10,416 --> 00:29:12,000 [laughter] 565 00:29:12,042 --> 00:29:13,502 EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM NIGGAS 566 00:29:13,544 --> 00:29:16,296 LIVE RIGHT UP UNDER A PALM TREE ON A SANDY BEACH. 567 00:29:16,338 --> 00:29:17,964 GO AHEAD. 568 00:29:18,006 --> 00:29:21,760 TRY TO TAKE YOUR DUMB ASS TO JAMAICA AND NOT SEE NIGGAS. 569 00:29:21,801 --> 00:29:24,304 GO ON. THE WHOLE BAHAMAS. 570 00:29:24,346 --> 00:29:26,806 GO ON OVER THERE, TURKS AND CAICOS. 571 00:29:26,848 --> 00:29:29,059 SEE HOW MANY NIGGAS YOU SEE. 572 00:29:29,101 --> 00:29:32,896 GO ON TO HAITI. NIGGAS, NIGGAS EVERYWHERE. 573 00:29:32,938 --> 00:29:37,901 JUST NIGGAS THROWN ON THE STREET, JUST... 574 00:29:37,943 --> 00:29:40,904 STOMACHS GROWLING, PERFECTLY TANNED. 575 00:29:40,946 --> 00:29:44,491 [laughter] 576 00:29:44,533 --> 00:29:47,119 BETTER BELIEVE SOMETHING. 577 00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:49,996 THIS SHIT GONNA COME TO A MOTHERFUCKING END. 578 00:29:50,038 --> 00:29:51,915 BETTER HAVE SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN. 579 00:29:51,957 --> 00:29:53,417 IF YOU'RE A CHRISTIAN, MAKE SOME MOTHERFUCKING NOISE IN THE HOUSE 580 00:29:53,459 --> 00:29:55,461 IF YOU'RE A CHRISTIAN. 581 00:29:55,502 --> 00:30:00,006 [crowd cheers] OH, YES. YES. 582 00:30:00,048 --> 00:30:02,801 Y'ALL SUPPOSED TO BE THE MOST EXCITED. 583 00:30:02,842 --> 00:30:04,470 OH. OH. 584 00:30:04,511 --> 00:30:07,889 AS LONG AS Y'ALL DONE HAD IT ALL FIGURED OUT? 585 00:30:07,931 --> 00:30:10,016 OH... 586 00:30:10,058 --> 00:30:14,271 CHRISTIANS SUPPOSED TO BE WALKING RIGHT UP TO 2012. 587 00:30:14,313 --> 00:30:16,898 [laughter] 588 00:30:16,940 --> 00:30:18,358 FACT OF THE MATTER IS 589 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:22,362 SOME PEOPLE BEEN LYING ON JESUS. 590 00:30:22,404 --> 00:30:24,948 AND HE'S FITTIN' TO COME BACK. 591 00:30:24,990 --> 00:30:30,120 YOU AIN'T GONNA BE ABLE TO LIE TO HIM WHEN HE LOOKING AT YOU. 592 00:30:30,162 --> 00:30:31,913 ALL THAT SHIT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT, 593 00:30:31,955 --> 00:30:34,500 JESUS GIVING A FUCK 'BOUT YOUR BUILDING FUND. 594 00:30:34,541 --> 00:30:37,795 [laughter] 595 00:30:37,836 --> 00:30:40,046 I BET JESUS DON'T KNOW NOTHING ABOUT YOUR ROOF. 596 00:30:40,088 --> 00:30:41,965 I BET HE DON'T EVEN KNOW, BET HE DON'T EVEN KNOW. 597 00:30:42,007 --> 00:30:43,049 MM-HMM. 598 00:30:43,091 --> 00:30:44,384 BETTER HOPE HE DON'T COME BACK, 599 00:30:44,426 --> 00:30:45,969 'CAUSE SOMEBODY BEEN BULLSHITTING. 600 00:30:46,011 --> 00:30:47,346 EVERYBODY AIN'T BEEN TELLING THE TRUTH. 601 00:30:47,387 --> 00:30:48,347 SEE, ALL THESE MOTHERFUCKERS BE TALKING 602 00:30:48,388 --> 00:30:50,056 ABOUT THE END OF THE WORLD 603 00:30:50,098 --> 00:30:51,975 'CAUSE THEY DON'T WANT THAT MOTHERFUCKER TO COME, 604 00:30:52,017 --> 00:30:55,479 'CAUSE THEY KNOW THEY BULLSHIT GONNA BE FRONT AND CENTER. 605 00:30:55,521 --> 00:30:57,147 LOOK AT THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH. 606 00:30:57,189 --> 00:30:59,399 THAT'S THE FIRST CHURCH THAT EVER WAS. 607 00:30:59,441 --> 00:31:01,151 BEAUTIFUL SHIT. 608 00:31:01,193 --> 00:31:04,029 THEY GOT SOME OF THE BEST CHURCH YOU EVER FUCKING SAW. 609 00:31:04,070 --> 00:31:07,825 EVEN NIGGAS STOP AND WATCH IT WHEN IT COME ON TV. 610 00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:09,075 JUST, WHEN YOU SEE--JUST-- 611 00:31:09,117 --> 00:31:11,953 [imitates religious chanting] 612 00:31:11,995 --> 00:31:16,916 [laughter] 613 00:31:18,877 --> 00:31:20,253 NIGGAS BE AT THEIR HOUSE LIKE, 614 00:31:20,295 --> 00:31:23,173 "THAT'S SOME FLY-ASS SHIT ON THE LOW, NIGGA." 615 00:31:23,215 --> 00:31:25,008 'CAUSE WE BE THINKING, IF THE CHOIR CAME IN 616 00:31:25,050 --> 00:31:27,093 RIGHT AFTER THEM, NIGGA, JUST-- 617 00:31:27,135 --> 00:31:30,430 [rhythmically] "JESUS IS COMING BACK." 618 00:31:30,472 --> 00:31:35,435 [chanting] 619 00:31:35,477 --> 00:31:37,855 THEN WE FIND OUT THE PRIEST 620 00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:40,858 IS FUCKING LITTLE BOYS IN THE CONFESSIONAL. 621 00:31:40,899 --> 00:31:44,027 WHOO! JESUS IS NOT GONNA BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT. 622 00:31:44,069 --> 00:31:46,029 YOU BETTER TELL SOME OF THEM NUNS 623 00:31:46,071 --> 00:31:47,656 TO START GIVING OUT SOME PUSSY OR SOMETHING, 624 00:31:47,698 --> 00:31:50,950 'CAUSE YOU GONNA HAVE TO EVEN THAT UP 625 00:31:50,992 --> 00:31:55,955 BEFORE JESUS GET BACK. HE IS NOT-- 626 00:31:55,997 --> 00:31:58,584 LET ME SAY, IF YOU'VE TRIED TO LOOK FOR A GOD, 627 00:31:58,625 --> 00:32:00,293 AND YOU AIN'T GOT ONE, 628 00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:02,921 YOU COULD DO A LOT WORSE THAN CHRISTIANITY. 629 00:32:02,962 --> 00:32:05,340 LET ME TELL YOU, IF YOU AIN'T GOT NOBODY TO WORSHIP, 630 00:32:05,382 --> 00:32:06,592 YOU COULD GO FOR JESUS. 631 00:32:06,633 --> 00:32:09,887 JESUS HAS BEEN KICKING ASS FOR A LONG TIME. 632 00:32:09,928 --> 00:32:12,890 JESUS--THAT IS-- HE IS SOMETHING ELSE. 633 00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:14,349 FIRST OF ALL, UNDERSTAND, 634 00:32:14,391 --> 00:32:19,020 YOU DON'T NEVER EVEN SEE A PICTURE OF JESUS OUT OF FOCUS. 635 00:32:19,062 --> 00:32:20,146 EVERY TIME YOU SEE JESUS, 636 00:32:20,188 --> 00:32:24,568 HE RIGHT LOOKING AT THE CAMERAMAN. 637 00:32:24,610 --> 00:32:27,153 HIS ROBES IS CLEAN, 638 00:32:27,195 --> 00:32:30,490 HIS PERM IS STRAIGHT, CUT IN A BOB, 639 00:32:30,532 --> 00:32:33,660 GOT A NICE BEARD TO LET YOU KNOW HE AIN'T NO PUSSY-- 640 00:32:33,702 --> 00:32:37,414 AIN'T NOTHIN' TO BE FUCKED AROUND WITH. 641 00:32:37,456 --> 00:32:39,165 [laughter] 642 00:32:39,207 --> 00:32:41,251 - WE LOVE YOU, KATT! 643 00:32:41,293 --> 00:32:43,044 - BETTER HAVE SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN. 644 00:32:43,086 --> 00:32:45,255 IT AIN'T A LOT OF JESUSES OUT THERE. 645 00:32:45,297 --> 00:32:49,509 SOME OF THESE RELIGIONS GOT TERRIBLE GODS. 646 00:32:49,551 --> 00:32:51,261 I LOVE THE BUDDHIST PEOPLE, 647 00:32:51,303 --> 00:32:53,639 THEY DON'T BELIEVE IN NOTHIN' BUT PEACE AND LOVE. 648 00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:57,684 BUT, UH, IT'S GONNA BE HARD FOR YOU TO GET, UH, 649 00:32:57,726 --> 00:33:02,188 NIGGAS TO SERVE YOUR GOD IF HE... 650 00:33:02,230 --> 00:33:04,274 AIN'T BEEN TENDING TO THE SELF CORRECTLY. 651 00:33:04,316 --> 00:33:07,277 YOU--I DON'T KNOW IF Y'ALL HAVE SEEN BUDDHA BEFORE, 652 00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:12,115 BUT NIGGAS IS NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO SERVE HIM. 653 00:33:12,157 --> 00:33:16,954 HE HAS AN OBESITY PROBLEM. NIGGAS IS-- 654 00:33:16,995 --> 00:33:18,455 JESUS WOULD'VE HEALED THAT ALREADY. 655 00:33:18,497 --> 00:33:21,207 HE WOULDN'T EVEN COME OUT HERE WITH NO DAMN SHIRT ON 656 00:33:21,249 --> 00:33:24,294 AND SOME PAMPERS AND SHIT, TALKIN' 'BOUT-- 657 00:33:24,336 --> 00:33:26,296 JESUS PROBABLY SOMEWHERE WITH A SHAKE WEIGHT RIGHT NOW, 658 00:33:26,338 --> 00:33:28,298 GETTING READY TO KICK SATAN'S ASS. 659 00:33:28,340 --> 00:33:32,135 [laughter] 660 00:33:37,056 --> 00:33:38,391 CAN'T BE SERVING NO BUDDHA, 661 00:33:38,433 --> 00:33:41,269 THAT NIGGA LOOK LIKE RICK ROSS IN THE PERIPHERAL. 662 00:33:41,311 --> 00:33:42,646 YOU GET TO HEAVEN, THAT NIGGA-- 663 00:33:42,688 --> 00:33:45,482 "OH... 664 00:33:45,524 --> 00:33:48,694 I THINK I'M BIG. NEAT." JESUS? 665 00:33:48,735 --> 00:33:54,115 [laughter] 666 00:33:54,157 --> 00:33:56,159 CAN'T SERVE THE HINDU GOD. 667 00:33:56,201 --> 00:33:58,704 HINDU GOD IS TOO CONFUSING FOR NIGGAS. 668 00:33:58,745 --> 00:34:00,372 HINDU GOD IS A WOMAN, 669 00:34:00,413 --> 00:34:04,710 AND SHE GREEN, AND SHE GOT EIGHT ARMS, AND STAND LIKE THIS. 670 00:34:06,211 --> 00:34:07,796 NO, WE MIGHT WANT TO FUCK THAT BITCH ONCE, 671 00:34:07,838 --> 00:34:12,676 BUT WE'RE NOT GONNA BE... 672 00:34:12,718 --> 00:34:14,011 GOTTA HAVE SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN. 673 00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:16,179 GOTTA BELIEVE IN SOMETHING. 674 00:34:16,221 --> 00:34:18,139 THE INDIANS, THEY TRIED TO MAKE EVERYTHING A GOD. 675 00:34:18,181 --> 00:34:20,058 YOU CAN'T PLAY WITH GOD LIKE THAT. 676 00:34:20,099 --> 00:34:21,393 NIGGAS DON'T WANT EVERYTHING TO BE A GOD. 677 00:34:21,434 --> 00:34:24,688 YOU CAN'T HAVE NO CORN GOD, NIGGA. 678 00:34:24,730 --> 00:34:26,398 "THERE'S THE GOD OF THE WIND, AND--" 679 00:34:26,439 --> 00:34:28,734 NO, HOLD ON. HOLD ON. 680 00:34:28,775 --> 00:34:30,235 "NO, IT'S THE CORN GOD." 681 00:34:30,276 --> 00:34:32,696 AIN'T NOT GODDAMN CORN GOD, MR. INDIAN. 682 00:34:32,738 --> 00:34:34,322 "IT'S THE GOD OF THE CORN." 683 00:34:34,364 --> 00:34:37,200 NO, IT'S NOT, BECAUSE WHAT IS THAT IN MY FECES? 684 00:34:37,242 --> 00:34:38,368 IS THAT... 685 00:34:38,410 --> 00:34:43,415 [laughter] 686 00:34:47,753 --> 00:34:49,295 Y'ALL BE CAREFUL. 687 00:34:49,337 --> 00:34:50,797 I HEARD MITT ROMNEY WAS A MORMON, 688 00:34:50,839 --> 00:34:52,632 AND I DIDN'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT THE MORMONS. 689 00:34:52,674 --> 00:34:54,051 AND I LOOKED UP THE BOOK 690 00:34:54,092 --> 00:34:56,219 AND FOUND OUT THEY HAVE MULTIPLE WIVES. 691 00:34:56,261 --> 00:34:57,846 I HURRY UP, CLOSED THE BOOK. THAT'S SOME PIMP SHIT. 692 00:34:57,888 --> 00:35:01,516 KEEP THAT. WE MIGHT NEED THAT. 693 00:35:01,558 --> 00:35:04,519 THAT MIGHT WORK OUT RIGHT THERE. WE'LL KEEP THAT. 694 00:35:04,561 --> 00:35:10,108 GIVE THAT SOME PRAYERFUL CONSIDERATION THERE, YOU KNOW. 695 00:35:10,149 --> 00:35:12,277 FITTIN' TO BE 2012, IT'S ABOUT WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN. 696 00:35:12,318 --> 00:35:13,445 GOTTA FIND YOU SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN. 697 00:35:13,486 --> 00:35:15,113 IT'S ABOUT THE THREE Rs. 698 00:35:15,154 --> 00:35:20,285 IT'S ABOUT RELIGION, RELATIONSHIP, 'RITHMETIC. 699 00:35:20,326 --> 00:35:23,413 [laughter] 700 00:35:23,455 --> 00:35:25,123 LOOK AT WHITE PEOPLE, 701 00:35:25,164 --> 00:35:30,420 "THAT IS NOT HOW IT'S SPELLED, I'LL TELL YOU THAT RIGHT NOW." 702 00:35:30,462 --> 00:35:33,256 WORLD GETTING CRAZY. 703 00:35:33,298 --> 00:35:35,550 IF YOU BELIEVE IN THE BIBLE, UNDERSTAND, 704 00:35:35,592 --> 00:35:36,551 YOU GOTTA BE CAREFUL. 705 00:35:36,593 --> 00:35:38,261 I DID ALL THIS SHIT, 706 00:35:38,303 --> 00:35:40,221 I WAS TRYING TO FIND WHATEVER RELIGION WAS GONNA HELP ME. 707 00:35:40,263 --> 00:35:44,810 I EVEN TRIED RASTAFARIAN, AND LET ME TELL YOU... 708 00:35:44,851 --> 00:35:47,395 THEY HAD MY ATTENTION, LET ME TELL YOU, THEY-- 709 00:35:47,437 --> 00:35:48,605 THESE MOTHERFUCKERS SAY, 710 00:35:48,647 --> 00:35:50,774 "WE BELIEVE EVERYTHING CHRISTIANS BELIEVE. 711 00:35:50,816 --> 00:35:52,818 WE JUST BELIEVE THE HIGHER YOU GET, 712 00:35:52,859 --> 00:35:55,528 THE CLOSER YOU ARE TO GOD." 713 00:35:55,570 --> 00:36:00,366 [cheers and applause] 714 00:36:00,408 --> 00:36:05,371 "WELL, I THINK I'D LIKE TO TRY THAT." 715 00:36:05,413 --> 00:36:09,542 NIGGA GETS SO HIGH, HE TRIED TO LOOK IN JESUS' WINDOW AND SHIT. 716 00:36:09,584 --> 00:36:14,506 [laughter] 717 00:36:20,178 --> 00:36:23,807 EVERYBODY WANTS YOU TO BELIEVE SOME SHIT. 718 00:36:23,849 --> 00:36:25,391 FIND YOU SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN, 719 00:36:25,433 --> 00:36:27,560 GET YOU SOME PEOPLE THAT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU, 720 00:36:27,602 --> 00:36:28,770 GET YOUR TEAM TOGETHER. 721 00:36:28,812 --> 00:36:30,188 THE SHIT GONNA HIT THE FAN. 722 00:36:30,229 --> 00:36:33,316 THE BIBLE SAY, "FIRST SHALL BE LAST," 723 00:36:33,358 --> 00:36:35,485 AND I DON'T KNOW, BUT SPEAKING FOR NIGGAS, 724 00:36:35,527 --> 00:36:39,322 WE HAVE BEEN THE FIRST AT LAST 725 00:36:39,364 --> 00:36:40,824 FOR A LONG TIME. 726 00:36:40,866 --> 00:36:45,620 I DON'T THINK YOU EVER GONNA BE ABLE TO BEAT US AT THAT. 727 00:36:45,662 --> 00:36:48,581 YOU AIN'T GONNA BE ABLE TO OUT-LAST NIGGAS. 728 00:36:48,623 --> 00:36:51,501 WE'VE BEEN LAST-- 729 00:36:51,543 --> 00:36:54,337 [laughter] 730 00:36:54,379 --> 00:36:55,881 GAY PEOPLE WANNA BE NIGGAS. 731 00:36:55,922 --> 00:36:58,341 THEY WANNA SAY IT'S CIVIL RIGHTS. NO. 732 00:36:58,383 --> 00:37:00,426 NO, 'CAUSE AS A GAY PERSON, YOU CAN BE GAY. 733 00:37:00,468 --> 00:37:04,222 YOU JUST--IT'S ABOUT WHAT KIND OF PERSON YOU ARE GAY. 734 00:37:04,263 --> 00:37:07,517 AS A NIGGA, WE WAS TREATED LIKE ANIMALS FIRST, 735 00:37:07,559 --> 00:37:12,438 THEN THEY LET US PUT ON CLOTHES, THEN THEY LET US GET IN THE NBA. 736 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:15,525 [laughter] 737 00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:20,279 WE GOT TO PROVE SOMETHING FOR OURSELVES FOR GENERATIONS. 738 00:37:20,321 --> 00:37:21,781 LIKE, WHEN I'M TALKING TO MEXICANS, 739 00:37:21,823 --> 00:37:24,409 I'M TALKING TO MEXICANS LIKE THEY'RE REALLY NIGGAS, 740 00:37:24,450 --> 00:37:27,370 'CAUSE AS FAR AS WE KNOW, THEY THE CLOSEST TO NIGGAS 741 00:37:27,412 --> 00:37:29,915 WE EVER SAW IN THIS GODDAMN COUNTRY. 742 00:37:29,956 --> 00:37:31,958 WE THOUGHT THEY WAS OUR NIGGAS, 743 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,211 WE WAS PROUD THAT THEY HAD A COUNTRY, 744 00:37:34,252 --> 00:37:36,922 AND DECIDED TO COME OVER HERE ANY MOTHERFUCKING WAY. 745 00:37:36,963 --> 00:37:39,925 WE THOUGHT THAT WAS SOME AMERICAN SHIT. 746 00:37:39,966 --> 00:37:42,719 SEE, YOU GOT A LOT OF POLITICIANS THAT TELL YOU, 747 00:37:42,761 --> 00:37:44,470 "WE NEED TO KEEP SOME PEOPLE OUT." 748 00:37:44,512 --> 00:37:47,473 AIN'T NO MOTHERFUCKING PEOPLE TO KEEP THE FUCK OUT. 749 00:37:47,515 --> 00:37:49,893 WE NEED EVERYBODY THAT'S RIGHT THE FUCK HERE. 750 00:37:49,935 --> 00:37:52,687 SEE, WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IS WHEN YOU WATCH THE NEWS, 751 00:37:52,729 --> 00:37:55,899 YOU SEE ALL OF THESE PEOPLE TALKING SHIT ABOUT AMERICA. 752 00:37:55,941 --> 00:37:57,817 UNDERSTAND, THEY TALKING SHIT ABOUT AMERICA 753 00:37:57,859 --> 00:38:01,320 FROM THEY LITTLE DUSTY-ASS, PIECE OF SHIT-ASS COUNTRY 754 00:38:01,362 --> 00:38:03,448 WITH NO GODDAMN AIR CONDITIONING 755 00:38:03,489 --> 00:38:08,411 AND NO WAY TO GET A MOUNTAIN DEW AND A SNICKER BAR. 756 00:38:08,453 --> 00:38:11,372 THAT AIN'T OUR GODDAMN FAULT. 757 00:38:11,414 --> 00:38:13,959 MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA SAY, "WE SHOULD ALL BE EQUAL." 758 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:17,254 BULLSHIT. EQUAL TO WHAT? 759 00:38:17,295 --> 00:38:20,423 WE ARE BETTER THAN YOU. 760 00:38:20,465 --> 00:38:24,928 [laughter] 761 00:38:26,345 --> 00:38:28,848 DON'T BE ASHAMED TO FUCKING SAY IT. 762 00:38:28,890 --> 00:38:30,433 WE'RE BETTER THAN THEY ARE. 763 00:38:30,475 --> 00:38:34,312 WE WORK HARDER, WE TRY HARDER. NOTHING BEATS US. 764 00:38:34,353 --> 00:38:37,607 WE HAVE KICKED THIS RECESSION SO MOTHERFUCKING HARD. 765 00:38:37,649 --> 00:38:40,443 FIRST OF ALL, NIGGAS, LET ME SAY WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW 766 00:38:40,485 --> 00:38:44,530 IT WAS A RECESSION UNTIL THEY GAVE IT A WORD. 767 00:38:44,572 --> 00:38:46,532 THIS IS THE SHIT NIGGAS WAS DOING THE WHOLE TIME, 768 00:38:46,574 --> 00:38:48,451 WHITE PEOPLE, WELCOME ABOARD. 769 00:38:48,493 --> 00:38:50,328 WELCOME ABOARD, 770 00:38:50,369 --> 00:38:52,705 GET YOURSELF SOME TOP RAMEN, MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE. 771 00:38:52,747 --> 00:38:55,625 THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. 772 00:38:55,667 --> 00:38:58,544 [cheers and applause] 773 00:38:58,586 --> 00:39:01,965 AMERICA AIN'T ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS TO YOU. 774 00:39:02,007 --> 00:39:04,467 AMERICA IS ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK YOU DO 775 00:39:04,509 --> 00:39:07,428 WHEN THE SHIT HAPPENS TO YOU. 776 00:39:07,470 --> 00:39:10,640 SO, NOW... 777 00:39:10,682 --> 00:39:12,725 - PREACH ON, KATT! 778 00:39:12,767 --> 00:39:15,645 - I HAVE TO COME BACK AND TELL MY PEOPLE 779 00:39:15,687 --> 00:39:17,355 THEY FITTIN' TO FUCK US. 780 00:39:17,396 --> 00:39:20,483 WHEN YOU GO HOME INTO YOUR 2012, 781 00:39:20,525 --> 00:39:22,652 UNDERSTAND THEY ALREADY HAVE CONCENTRATION CAMPS 782 00:39:22,694 --> 00:39:25,697 IN THE UNITED STATES OF MOTHERFUCKING AMERICA 783 00:39:25,738 --> 00:39:28,950 THAT THEY'VE BEEN BUILDING FOR FOUR YEARS NOW. 784 00:39:28,992 --> 00:39:30,493 AND THE QUESTION IS, 785 00:39:30,535 --> 00:39:35,040 WHO IN THE FUCK IS YOU FITTIN' TO PUT IN THERE? 786 00:39:35,081 --> 00:39:36,916 WE ALREADY GOT A PRISON, 787 00:39:36,958 --> 00:39:41,004 AND THAT MOTHERFUCKER IS SO PACKED. 788 00:39:41,046 --> 00:39:44,341 'CAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY, IT'S ALL BULLSHIT. 789 00:39:44,382 --> 00:39:46,551 IT'S ALL BULLSHIT, WHITE PEOPLE. 790 00:39:46,592 --> 00:39:48,511 CONRAD MURRAY GOT FOUR YEARS, 791 00:39:48,553 --> 00:39:50,096 AND AIN'T GONNA DO BUT TWO OF THEM, 792 00:39:50,138 --> 00:39:52,682 AND MOTHERFUCKERS LOOKING AT HIM LIKE HE GOT WHAT HE DESERVED. 793 00:39:52,724 --> 00:39:56,061 HOW THE FUCK DO YOU FIGURE HE GOT WHAT THE FUCK HE DESERVED? 794 00:39:56,102 --> 00:39:57,979 YOU CAN MURDER A BILLIONAIRE, 795 00:39:58,021 --> 00:40:00,690 AND GET 2 1/2 YEARS AND PROBATION? 796 00:40:00,732 --> 00:40:02,984 THESE NIGGAS HAD ME ON SIX YEARS OF PROBATION 797 00:40:03,026 --> 00:40:07,155 FOR A BLUNT I HADN'T LIT YET. 798 00:40:07,197 --> 00:40:11,826 [cheers and applause] 799 00:40:11,868 --> 00:40:16,539 UNDERSTAND THE BULLSHIT IS HITTING THE FAN, GOD DAMN IT. 800 00:40:16,581 --> 00:40:18,041 THEY GAVE CONRAD MURRAY'S MOTHERFUCKING ASS 801 00:40:18,083 --> 00:40:19,918 LESS THAN FOUR GODDAMN YEARS. 802 00:40:19,959 --> 00:40:21,419 UNDERSTAND, WHITE PEOPLE, 803 00:40:21,460 --> 00:40:26,716 THAT ONCE WAS A MAN NAMED PLAXICO BURRESS. 804 00:40:26,758 --> 00:40:31,763 NOW, THIS NIGGA SHOT HIS SELF IN THE GODDAMN LEG. 805 00:40:31,804 --> 00:40:33,598 UNDERSTAND THAT. 806 00:40:33,639 --> 00:40:37,977 THIS NIGGA ASSAULTED HIMSELF. 807 00:40:38,019 --> 00:40:40,063 [laughter] 808 00:40:40,105 --> 00:40:42,774 HE DIDN'T SNITCH ON HIS SELF, 809 00:40:42,815 --> 00:40:47,946 DIDN'T TURN HIS SELF IN, FILE CHARGES AGAINST HIMSELF. 810 00:40:47,987 --> 00:40:51,824 THREE WHOLE YEARS PENITENTIARY 811 00:40:51,866 --> 00:40:54,827 SHOOTING YOURSELF. 812 00:40:54,869 --> 00:40:59,791 [laughter] 813 00:41:04,837 --> 00:41:07,173 AND I KNOW SOME OF Y'ALL LOOKING AT ME LIKE, 814 00:41:07,215 --> 00:41:11,761 "YOU NOT FITTIN' TO TALK ABOUT MICHAEL, ARE YOU?" 815 00:41:11,803 --> 00:41:13,430 YES, I AM. 816 00:41:13,471 --> 00:41:14,973 FIRST OF ALL, LET ME START OFF BY SAYING, 817 00:41:15,014 --> 00:41:17,892 WOULD ALL THE MICHAEL JACKSON FANS PLEASE MAKE SOME NOISE 818 00:41:17,934 --> 00:41:19,978 IN THE BUILDING THIS EVENING? 819 00:41:20,019 --> 00:41:24,983 [cheers and applause] 820 00:41:25,024 --> 00:41:27,485 I DON'T APOLOGIZE OFTEN. 821 00:41:27,526 --> 00:41:30,155 THIS IS NOT A TIME FOR ME TO START. 822 00:41:30,196 --> 00:41:33,032 [laughter] 823 00:41:33,074 --> 00:41:36,202 BUT WHEN I WAS TALKING, I WAS TALKING ABOUT SOMEBODY LIVE. 824 00:41:36,244 --> 00:41:37,495 - GO AHEAD, KATT! 825 00:41:37,536 --> 00:41:39,164 - AND THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS 826 00:41:39,205 --> 00:41:42,500 WE WATCHED THIS NIGGA GET MURDERED, 827 00:41:42,541 --> 00:41:45,837 RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR OWN MOTHERFUCKING FACE, 828 00:41:45,878 --> 00:41:47,797 AND THE NIGGA KNEW IT WAS FITTIN' TO HAPPEN. 829 00:41:47,839 --> 00:41:50,758 HE TOLD US, AND WE DIDN'T KNOW. 830 00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:55,096 NIGGA NAMED HIS LAST TOUR, "THIS IS IT." 831 00:41:55,138 --> 00:42:00,226 [laughter] 832 00:42:03,062 --> 00:42:04,522 WHITE PEOPLE, LET ME JUST TELL YOU 833 00:42:04,563 --> 00:42:08,734 A LITTLE NIGGA SECRET, IF I COULD. 834 00:42:08,776 --> 00:42:11,196 NIGGAS HAVE NEVER SAID, "THIS IS IT," 835 00:42:11,237 --> 00:42:13,281 IN A CELEBRATORY FASHION. 836 00:42:13,323 --> 00:42:15,533 LET ME JUST SAY... 837 00:42:15,574 --> 00:42:16,993 WHITE PEOPLE DO IT ALL THE TIME. 838 00:42:17,035 --> 00:42:18,203 "THIS IS IT!" 839 00:42:18,244 --> 00:42:19,745 NOT NIGGAS. 840 00:42:19,787 --> 00:42:21,164 EVERY TIME WE SAYIN' IT, WE SAY IT LIKE THIS, 841 00:42:21,206 --> 00:42:22,665 "YOU KNOW WHAT, NIGGA? THIS IS IT." 842 00:42:22,707 --> 00:42:25,084 [mic thuds] 843 00:42:25,126 --> 00:42:29,839 [laughter] 844 00:42:29,881 --> 00:42:32,217 AND THEY STRAIGHT UP KILLED THAT NIGGA. 845 00:42:32,258 --> 00:42:35,220 KILLED HIM AND GAVE US THE MOST BULLSHIT STORY 846 00:42:35,261 --> 00:42:38,681 WE EVER HEARD OUR ENTIRE LIFE. 847 00:42:38,723 --> 00:42:41,851 FIRST, THEY TOLD US THIS NIGGA WAS A DRUG ADDICT. 848 00:42:41,893 --> 00:42:47,023 THEN WE FIND OUT THIS NIGGA'S DRUG WAS SLEEP. 849 00:42:47,065 --> 00:42:52,153 [laughter] 850 00:42:55,240 --> 00:43:00,703 ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS NIGGA GOT HIGH AND WENT TO SLEEP? 851 00:43:02,247 --> 00:43:06,042 YEAH, THAT'S NO DRUG ADDICT. 852 00:43:06,084 --> 00:43:10,713 SOMETHING'S AFOUL HERE. THIS STORY DON'T GO TOGETHER. 853 00:43:10,755 --> 00:43:15,927 UNDERSTAND, WHITE PEOPLE, NO STORY ENDS WITH COMA. 854 00:43:17,970 --> 00:43:22,683 BUT CERTAINLY, NO STORY STARTS WITH COMA. 855 00:43:22,725 --> 00:43:26,187 THEY STARTED THIS NIGGA'S STORY OFF WITH COMA. 856 00:43:26,229 --> 00:43:28,147 SAID, "NIGGA..." 857 00:43:28,189 --> 00:43:29,899 I DON'T KNOW HOW HE WOULD SLEEP. 858 00:43:29,941 --> 00:43:33,069 I'M SURE HE DON'T SLEEP REGULAR, BUT I'M SURE HE WAS-- 859 00:43:33,111 --> 00:43:38,199 [laughter and applause] 860 00:43:45,206 --> 00:43:50,711 I DON'T KNOW HOW HE WOULD SLEEP, BUT I KNOW HE SLEPT FANCY. 861 00:43:50,753 --> 00:43:52,589 [laughter] 862 00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:57,760 THE NEXT STORY IS THIS NIGGA WAS ASLEEP, IN A COMA. 863 00:44:00,305 --> 00:44:03,975 THEN THEY SAY HE WAKES UP OUT OF HIS COMA. 864 00:44:04,016 --> 00:44:07,937 NOW, UNDERSTAND, NIGGAS, THE WHOLE THING ABOUT A COMA 865 00:44:07,979 --> 00:44:12,233 IS SUPPOSED TO BE YOU CAN'T GET THE FUCK UP FROM ONE. 866 00:44:12,275 --> 00:44:15,903 I'LL COME BACK TO THAT PART LATER. 867 00:44:15,945 --> 00:44:21,033 SO, THE NIGGA WAKES UP OUT OF THE COMA. 868 00:44:22,827 --> 00:44:26,956 [laughter] 869 00:44:26,998 --> 00:44:29,750 "CONRAD? 870 00:44:29,792 --> 00:44:33,338 "CONRAD, WHERE ARE YOU? 871 00:44:33,379 --> 00:44:37,883 CONRAD, TITO, SOMEONE, COME HERE." 872 00:44:37,925 --> 00:44:40,886 THIS IS WHERE THE STORY GETS FUCKED UP. 873 00:44:40,928 --> 00:44:43,806 THEN THEY SAY AIN'T NOBODY THERE. 874 00:44:43,848 --> 00:44:48,853 SO THEY SAY HE GRABS THE PROPOFOL... 875 00:44:52,857 --> 00:44:55,985 AND INJECTS HIS MOTHERFUCKING SELF, 876 00:44:56,027 --> 00:44:59,322 AND GOES BACK INTO A COMA. 877 00:44:59,364 --> 00:45:03,826 ♪ GIRL, CLOSE YOUR EYES ♪ 878 00:45:03,868 --> 00:45:08,373 ♪ LET THE PROPOFOL INTO YOU ♪ 879 00:45:08,414 --> 00:45:12,709 [laughter] 880 00:45:12,751 --> 00:45:17,714 ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT A NIGGA 881 00:45:17,756 --> 00:45:22,845 WOULD PAY SOMEBODY $150,000 A MONTH 882 00:45:22,887 --> 00:45:24,889 TO DO SOME SHIT 883 00:45:24,930 --> 00:45:28,976 HE COULD WAKE UP OUT OF A COMA AND DO FOR HIMSELF? 884 00:45:29,018 --> 00:45:31,354 YOU CAN KISS MY MOTHERFUCKING ASS. 885 00:45:31,396 --> 00:45:34,857 THAT'S LIKE ME PAYING A BITCH TO SUCK MY DICK AFTER THE SHOW, 886 00:45:34,899 --> 00:45:39,987 AND PAYING HER GIRLFRIEND TO SWALLOW. 887 00:45:40,029 --> 00:45:43,824 [laughter] 888 00:45:47,370 --> 00:45:50,415 WHITE PEOPLE, IT WAS A SET-UP. 889 00:45:50,456 --> 00:45:53,501 WE KNEW IT AS SOON AS WE SAW CONRAD MURRAY, 890 00:45:53,543 --> 00:45:56,879 'CAUSE IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN NO NIGGA TO KILL MICHAEL JACKSON, 891 00:45:56,921 --> 00:46:00,049 BUT IT CERTAINLY COULDN'T HAVE BEEN NO WHITE DOCTOR. 892 00:46:00,091 --> 00:46:02,051 OH... 893 00:46:02,093 --> 00:46:06,431 [laughter] 894 00:46:06,472 --> 00:46:08,807 IF A WHITE DOCTOR HAD KILLED MICHAEL JACKSON, 895 00:46:08,849 --> 00:46:11,269 IT WOULD HAVE BEEN 600,000 NIGGAS IN MOON WALKING SOCKS 896 00:46:11,310 --> 00:46:16,815 THE NEXT DAY JUST RIOTING AND DANCING AT THE SAME TIME. 897 00:46:22,821 --> 00:46:26,284 THEY GOT THAT PIECE OF SHIT-ASS CONRAD MURRAY. 898 00:46:26,325 --> 00:46:27,952 THAT MOTHERFUCKER-- 899 00:46:27,993 --> 00:46:30,162 THAT'S WHAT A SNAKE LOOK LIKE, IN CASE YOU WANT TO KNOW 900 00:46:30,204 --> 00:46:32,498 WHAT A MOTHERFUCKING DEMON LOOK LIKE IN PERSON, 901 00:46:32,540 --> 00:46:35,334 LOOK AT CONRAD MURRAY'S MOTHERFUCKING ASS. 902 00:46:35,376 --> 00:46:37,002 THAT NIGGA WAS ON TRIAL-- 903 00:46:37,044 --> 00:46:40,423 ANY TIME A NIGGA CAN'T CRY. 904 00:46:40,465 --> 00:46:42,091 WHITE PEOPLE, UNDERSTAND, 905 00:46:42,133 --> 00:46:43,551 NIGGAS EITHER CRY ONE OF TWO WAYS-- 906 00:46:43,593 --> 00:46:47,263 NOT AT ALL... OR ALL THE WAY. 907 00:46:47,305 --> 00:46:50,933 [laughter] 908 00:46:50,975 --> 00:46:52,935 CONRAD MURRAY WAS ON TRIAL FOR 14 WEEKS 909 00:46:52,977 --> 00:46:57,940 TRYING TO GET ONE TEAR OUT HIS LYIN'-ASS EYES, JUST-- 910 00:46:57,982 --> 00:47:02,861 [laughter] 911 00:47:06,449 --> 00:47:07,824 FUCK-ASS NIGGA. 912 00:47:07,866 --> 00:47:09,243 YOU LET--THE BIBLE SAY, 913 00:47:09,285 --> 00:47:12,538 DON'T BELIEVE NO NIGGA THAT CAN'T SAY TRUTH. 914 00:47:12,580 --> 00:47:13,956 THIS NIGGA ALL ON TV, 915 00:47:13,998 --> 00:47:18,127 "I AM GOING TO TELL THE TROOT." 916 00:47:19,420 --> 00:47:22,507 WHAT DID THAT NIGGA SAY HE WAS GONNA TELL? 917 00:47:22,548 --> 00:47:25,468 "I AM GOING TO TELL THE TROOT. 918 00:47:25,510 --> 00:47:28,971 I HAVE FAIT." 919 00:47:29,013 --> 00:47:31,516 THEN THAT NIGGA HAD THIS TRIAL, 920 00:47:31,557 --> 00:47:35,311 AND HE EMBARRASSED EVERY NIGGA IN THE WORLD. 921 00:47:35,353 --> 00:47:38,147 RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CONRAD MURRAY TRIAL, 922 00:47:38,189 --> 00:47:40,358 WHEN WE THOUGHT IT COULDN'T GET NO FUCKING WORSE, 923 00:47:40,399 --> 00:47:42,234 THIS NIGGA BRING OUT AS A WITNESS, 924 00:47:42,276 --> 00:47:46,155 THE OLDEST LIVING SLAVE WE HAVE EVER SEEN. 925 00:47:46,197 --> 00:47:49,534 PLEASE TELL ME YOU SAW THAT OLD BITCH. 926 00:47:49,575 --> 00:47:52,995 [laughter] 927 00:47:53,037 --> 00:47:58,167 THAT BITCH WAS 136 GODDAMN YEARS OLD. 928 00:47:58,209 --> 00:48:00,169 THAT BITCH... 929 00:48:00,211 --> 00:48:03,172 IT TOOK HER SO LONG TO GET TO THE STAND 930 00:48:03,214 --> 00:48:07,343 THAT YOU KNEW THIS BITCH WAS GONNA TELL THE TRUTH, SHE-- 931 00:48:07,385 --> 00:48:11,972 [laughter] 932 00:48:21,273 --> 00:48:26,404 THIS BITCH WAS 136, AND HER WIG WAS BRAND-NEW! 933 00:48:26,445 --> 00:48:31,033 HAD THE TAG STILL IN THAT BITCH. 934 00:48:31,075 --> 00:48:33,952 HER SLAVE MOTHERFUCKING ASS-- 935 00:48:33,994 --> 00:48:37,206 THIS BITCH SNUCK ON THE STAND. 936 00:48:37,248 --> 00:48:40,585 HOW DO YOU SIT LIKE A SLAVE? SHE JUST... 937 00:48:40,626 --> 00:48:45,922 [laughter] 938 00:48:52,304 --> 00:48:53,514 EVERY TIME THE JUDGE ASK HER SOMETHING, 939 00:48:53,556 --> 00:48:58,143 "EXCUSE ME, JUDGE." 940 00:48:58,185 --> 00:49:00,396 FUCKING JUDGE ASKED HER, "IS CONRAD MURRAY GREEDY?" 941 00:49:00,438 --> 00:49:03,107 AND THIS OLD, DECREPIT BITCH ACTED LIKE "GREEDY" 942 00:49:03,148 --> 00:49:05,276 WAS THE WORST INSULT SHE HAD EVER HEARD 943 00:49:05,317 --> 00:49:10,364 IN HER GODDAMN-- "GREEDY? NO, CONRAD, AIN'T--" 944 00:49:10,406 --> 00:49:13,451 SHUT YOUR UGLY ASS UP, BITCH. 945 00:49:13,492 --> 00:49:16,579 THAT WAS THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH MICHAEL JACKSON. 946 00:49:16,621 --> 00:49:20,583 HIS FANS WAS TOO GODDAMN NICE. 947 00:49:20,625 --> 00:49:24,629 NICE-ASS MICHAEL JACKSON FANS LETTING CONRAD MURRAY'S PUNK ASS 948 00:49:24,670 --> 00:49:27,214 GO TO COURT EVERY GODDAMN DAY 949 00:49:27,256 --> 00:49:30,217 WITH NO SECURITY. 950 00:49:30,259 --> 00:49:34,054 THAT'S WHY YOU GOT TO HAVE SOME GHETTO FANS. 951 00:49:34,096 --> 00:49:36,098 YOU AIN'T GONNA BE ABLE TO JUST KILL ME, NIGGA, 952 00:49:36,140 --> 00:49:39,226 AND GO TO COURT LIKE EVERYTHING IS OKAY. 953 00:49:39,268 --> 00:49:41,103 IT'S GONNA BE A BITCH TO HIT YOU WITH A BRICK 954 00:49:41,145 --> 00:49:43,272 EVERY TIME YOU SHOW UP TO COURT. 955 00:49:43,314 --> 00:49:45,524 JUST, "I'M HERE--" 956 00:49:45,566 --> 00:49:50,696 [laughter, cheers and applause] 957 00:50:01,998 --> 00:50:05,336 - WE LOVE YOU, KATT! - FIVE MINUTES? 958 00:50:05,377 --> 00:50:10,341 [crowd cheering] 959 00:50:14,720 --> 00:50:16,639 - WE LOVE YOU! 960 00:50:16,681 --> 00:50:19,976 - ALL RIGHT, LET ME, UM... 961 00:50:20,016 --> 00:50:22,186 LET ME--LET ME JUST-- 962 00:50:22,227 --> 00:50:26,482 LET ME JUST TAKE THIS TIME TO SAY THAT, UM... 963 00:50:26,524 --> 00:50:28,150 FUCK. OKAY, LOOK. 964 00:50:28,192 --> 00:50:31,487 JUST CUT THIS REAL QUICK SO I CAN TELL Y'ALL SOMETHING. 965 00:50:31,529 --> 00:50:33,238 [laughter] 966 00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:34,239 CUT. 967 00:50:34,281 --> 00:50:39,244 OKAY. 968 00:50:39,286 --> 00:50:42,164 NO--NO BULLSHIT. 969 00:50:42,206 --> 00:50:44,709 I DON'T KNOW EACH OF Y'ALL PERSONALLY, 970 00:50:44,750 --> 00:50:48,754 BUT I ALWAYS FEEL A LITTLE MORE COMFORTABLE 971 00:50:48,796 --> 00:50:52,174 WHEN I'M UP HERE, AND THE PEOPLE IS OUT HERE, 972 00:50:52,216 --> 00:50:54,176 BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY, 973 00:50:54,218 --> 00:50:57,596 I REALLY WAS NEVER TALL, EVEN WHEN I STARTED. 974 00:50:57,638 --> 00:51:01,308 [laughter] 975 00:51:01,350 --> 00:51:04,186 I NEVER WAS REALLY SPECIAL TO FUCKING LOOK AT, 976 00:51:04,228 --> 00:51:08,357 BUT WHEN I CAME TO L.A., NIGGAS ACTED LIKE THEY UNDERSTOOD 977 00:51:08,399 --> 00:51:10,735 WHERE THE FUCK I WAS COMING FROM, 978 00:51:10,776 --> 00:51:15,656 AND ALLOWED A NIGGA TO BE THAT. 979 00:51:17,616 --> 00:51:19,577 - WE LOVE YOU! 980 00:51:19,618 --> 00:51:21,787 - SO WHEN I RETIRED, 981 00:51:21,829 --> 00:51:23,455 THERE WAS A LOT OF THINGS GOING ON, 982 00:51:23,497 --> 00:51:25,374 AND I DIDN'T WANNA COME BACK AND TELL Y'ALL 983 00:51:25,416 --> 00:51:29,127 WHAT THE FUCK IT WAS, BECAUSE I WANTED Y'ALL TO BE PROUD OF ME 984 00:51:29,169 --> 00:51:32,506 FOR SOME SHIT, EVEN IF I WAS FUCKING IT UP. 985 00:51:32,548 --> 00:51:36,218 BUT THEN THEY STARTED ARRESTING A NIGGA SO MUCH. 986 00:51:36,260 --> 00:51:38,846 [laughter] 987 00:51:38,888 --> 00:51:41,097 UNDERSTAND, YOU CAN ONLY GET ARRESTED 988 00:51:41,139 --> 00:51:46,520 MAYBE SIX TIMES BEFORE IT AIN'T FUN NO MORE. 989 00:51:46,562 --> 00:51:49,231 I JUST WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT IF YOU GO TO TMZ, 990 00:51:49,273 --> 00:51:51,650 YOU WILL SEE THE FACT THAT I'VE BEEN 991 00:51:51,692 --> 00:51:55,529 ARRESTED 14 TIMES IN 46 MONTHS. 992 00:51:55,571 --> 00:51:57,531 WHAT I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND IS 993 00:51:57,573 --> 00:52:00,576 YOU HAVE NEVER, EVER IN YOUR LIFE SEEN ME 994 00:52:00,618 --> 00:52:03,245 STANDING IN A COURTHOUSE. 995 00:52:03,287 --> 00:52:06,791 NOW, PUT THEM TWO THINGS TOGETHER. 996 00:52:06,832 --> 00:52:08,834 SATAN AIN'T SHIT. 997 00:52:08,876 --> 00:52:11,796 EVERYTHING HE TRY TO DO HE LOSES AT, 998 00:52:11,837 --> 00:52:14,256 'CAUSE HE AIN'T SHIT. 999 00:52:14,298 --> 00:52:18,594 HIS PEOPLE AIN'T SHIT, NOTHING HE LIKES IS SHIT. 1000 00:52:18,636 --> 00:52:20,512 ALL HIS PEOPLE IS UGLY. 1001 00:52:20,554 --> 00:52:22,264 THEY ALL STINK. 1002 00:52:22,306 --> 00:52:25,225 THEY WAS WORSE OFF BEFORE THE RECESSION, 1003 00:52:25,267 --> 00:52:29,229 DURING THE RECESSION, AFTER THE RECESSION. 1004 00:52:29,271 --> 00:52:33,442 HE AIN'T SHIT. AND SO UNDERSTAND... 1005 00:52:33,484 --> 00:52:36,152 THAT EVEN IF THEY WAS GONNA KILL ME 1006 00:52:36,194 --> 00:52:38,280 FOR THE SHIT I GOT TO SAY, 1007 00:52:38,322 --> 00:52:40,240 I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M STILL HERE 1008 00:52:40,282 --> 00:52:42,576 IN THE FIRST MOTHERFUCKING PLACE. 1009 00:52:42,618 --> 00:52:47,163 WHAT I DO KNOW IS I'VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR 2012. 1010 00:52:47,205 --> 00:52:50,459 I'VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE TO THINK 1011 00:52:50,501 --> 00:52:53,504 THAT THE END OF THE GODDAMN WORLD WAS FITTIN' TO COME. 1012 00:52:53,545 --> 00:52:56,340 SO NOW, NIGGAS, LET'S SAY IT DON'T COME. 1013 00:52:56,381 --> 00:53:00,385 CAN WE AGREE TO AT LEAST ACT LIKE THIS GONNA BE OUR LAST TIME 1014 00:53:00,427 --> 00:53:04,849 ON THIS MOTHERFUCKER SO WE CAN DO IT RIGHT ONE GODDAMN TIME? 1015 00:53:04,890 --> 00:53:08,184 WHAT I'M TELLING YOU IS, 1016 00:53:08,226 --> 00:53:11,856 BITCH NIGGAS IS DONE. 1017 00:53:11,897 --> 00:53:13,273 I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE BEEN SEEING, 1018 00:53:13,315 --> 00:53:14,483 I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING AT. 1019 00:53:14,525 --> 00:53:16,401 I KNOW YOU THINK TYLER PERRY MUST HAVE 1020 00:53:16,443 --> 00:53:20,698 46 MORE CROSS-DRESSING DRAG QUEEN MOVIES LEFT IN HIM. 1021 00:53:20,739 --> 00:53:25,494 [laughter] 1022 00:53:25,536 --> 00:53:27,621 I'M NOT HOMOPHOBIC. 1023 00:53:27,663 --> 00:53:30,166 I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST GAY WOMEN AT ALL. 1024 00:53:30,206 --> 00:53:33,169 POWER TO THE LESBIAN NATION. 1025 00:53:33,209 --> 00:53:36,505 MAY WE ALL EAT PUSSY THIS EVENING, IF IT'S FEASIBLE. 1026 00:53:36,547 --> 00:53:38,214 [laughter] 1027 00:53:38,256 --> 00:53:39,508 BUT IT'S TIME FOR PEOPLE 1028 00:53:39,550 --> 00:53:41,343 TO STAND UP FOR WHAT THE FUCK THEY ARE. 1029 00:53:41,385 --> 00:53:44,513 EVERYBODY CAN'T BE ASHAMED TO TELL THE GODDAMN TRUTH. 1030 00:53:44,555 --> 00:53:46,390 IT CAN'T BE EVERYBODY THAT WON'T SAY 1031 00:53:46,431 --> 00:53:48,392 WHAT THEY FUCK THEY MEANT TO SAY 1032 00:53:48,433 --> 00:53:50,435 AS SOON THEY GET THE OPPORTUNITY. 1033 00:53:50,477 --> 00:53:52,604 CHRISTIAN PEOPLE, IT'S THE SAME FOR Y'ALL. 1034 00:53:52,646 --> 00:53:56,274 IF Y'ALL SO HOLY, IT'S TIME TO GET MOTHERFUCKING HOLY. 1035 00:53:56,316 --> 00:53:57,693 IF YOU BELIEVE IN SOME SHIT, 1036 00:53:57,735 --> 00:53:59,778 MAKE SURE YOU GOT SOME RIGHT SHIT, 1037 00:53:59,820 --> 00:54:01,363 BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU, 1038 00:54:01,405 --> 00:54:02,990 EVERYBODY CAN'T BE RIGHT. 1039 00:54:03,032 --> 00:54:04,658 I SAY FUCK BISHOP EDDIE LONG, 1040 00:54:04,700 --> 00:54:07,452 AND EVERYBODY WHOEVER WENT TO HIS GODDAMN CHURCH, 1041 00:54:07,494 --> 00:54:08,746 IS WHAT I SAY. 1042 00:54:08,787 --> 00:54:10,956 FUCK THE CHOIR, THE CHOIR DIRECTOR, 1043 00:54:10,998 --> 00:54:13,375 THE PEOPLE IN THE CHOIR, THE NIGGA ON DRUMS, 1044 00:54:13,417 --> 00:54:16,837 FUCK THEM IN THE PARKING LOT. 1045 00:54:16,879 --> 00:54:18,589 [laughter] 1046 00:54:18,630 --> 00:54:20,758 NOT BECAUSE I'M HOMOPHOBIC, BECAUSE I DON'T THINK 1047 00:54:20,799 --> 00:54:23,427 YOU CAN PREACH THE GOSPEL WITH BOOTY ON YOUR BREATH. 1048 00:54:23,468 --> 00:54:25,721 I JUST DON'T THINK YOU CAN. 1049 00:54:25,763 --> 00:54:29,265 I'M NOT SAYING YOU CAN'T. I DON'T THINK YOU CAN. 1050 00:54:29,307 --> 00:54:30,642 IT'S NOT MY FAULT. 1051 00:54:30,684 --> 00:54:32,352 WHEN I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD, 1052 00:54:32,394 --> 00:54:34,479 THEY TOLD ME A BUNCH OF STORIES THAT DIDN'T MAKE NO SENSE. 1053 00:54:34,521 --> 00:54:36,565 THEY PUT ME DOWN AND SAT ME RIGHT ME IN FRONT OF THE BIBLE 1054 00:54:36,607 --> 00:54:39,860 AND TOLD ME A STORY ABOUT SODOM AND GOMORRAH. 1055 00:54:39,902 --> 00:54:42,780 THEY TOLD ME IT WAS TWO CITIES IN THE BIBLE 1056 00:54:42,821 --> 00:54:45,407 WHERE MEN LAY WITH MEN. 1057 00:54:45,449 --> 00:54:48,284 THEN THEY SAID THE NEXT DAY, 1058 00:54:48,326 --> 00:54:52,664 GOD BURNT THE WHOLE GODDAMN TWO CITIES TO THE GROUND. 1059 00:54:52,706 --> 00:54:54,374 END OF THE GODDAMN STORY. 1060 00:54:54,416 --> 00:54:58,921 NOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU GET OUT OF THAT STORY. 1061 00:54:58,963 --> 00:55:00,672 I TOLD MY BROTHER, 1062 00:55:00,714 --> 00:55:03,008 "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU ARE THREE, NIGGA. 1063 00:55:03,050 --> 00:55:05,886 "THEY JUST SAID THEY WAS GONNA BURN DOWN OUR BUNK BEDS 1064 00:55:05,928 --> 00:55:09,890 IF YOU GET IN THIS GODDAMN BED." 1065 00:55:09,932 --> 00:55:13,477 [laughter] 1066 00:55:15,646 --> 00:55:20,985 IT'S JUST WHAT THE FUCK THEY TOLD ME. 1067 00:55:21,026 --> 00:55:23,904 I JUST DIDN'T KNOW. 1068 00:55:23,946 --> 00:55:25,530 - ONE MINUTE! 1069 00:55:25,572 --> 00:55:28,492 - HEY, SOME OF YOU NIGGAS' WATCH AIN'T RIGHT. 1070 00:55:28,533 --> 00:55:30,452 IS IT TWO, OR IS IT ONE? LET ME KNOW. 1071 00:55:30,494 --> 00:55:34,957 IT'S TWO? [overlapping shouts] 1072 00:55:34,999 --> 00:55:36,625 LET ME ASK THE WHITE PEOPLE. 1073 00:55:36,667 --> 00:55:39,628 WHAT--WHITE PEOPLE, WHAT TIME IS IT, PLEASE? 1074 00:55:39,670 --> 00:55:44,758 [laughter] [overlapping shouts] 1075 00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:46,969 IT'S TIME. 1076 00:55:47,011 --> 00:55:49,013 ALL RIGHT, PUT IT ON, GODDAMN IT. 1077 00:55:49,054 --> 00:55:51,890 LET'S SEE IT. HEY, WHERE MY PEOPLE AT? 1078 00:55:51,932 --> 00:55:54,350 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, NO MATTER WHAT, 1079 00:55:54,392 --> 00:55:57,646 WE ARE HERE AT THE CUSP OF 2012, GODDAMN IT! 1080 00:55:57,688 --> 00:56:00,398 WHOO! IT'S FITTIN' TO COME! 1081 00:56:00,440 --> 00:56:03,944 HEY! WHERE MY PEOPLE AT? 1082 00:56:03,986 --> 00:56:06,697 OKAY, HOLD ON. 1083 00:56:06,738 --> 00:56:08,115 [cheers and applause] 1084 00:56:08,157 --> 00:56:11,493 audience: EIGHT... SEVEN...SIX... 1085 00:56:11,535 --> 00:56:16,623 FIVE...FOUR... THREE...TWO...ONE. 1086 00:56:16,665 --> 00:56:17,958 HAPPY NEW YEAR! 1087 00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:20,669 - HAPPY NEW YEAR! 1088 00:56:20,711 --> 00:56:25,674 [cheers and applause] 1089 00:56:39,897 --> 00:56:42,024 - IT'S REALLY GOOD TO SEE THE PEOPLE 1090 00:56:42,066 --> 00:56:44,526 WHO, UM... 1091 00:56:44,568 --> 00:56:46,070 A SHOT WAS NOT GIVEN TO. 1092 00:56:46,111 --> 00:56:47,863 TO BE ABLE TO STAND ON A GRAND STAGE 1093 00:56:47,905 --> 00:56:50,866 AND SHOW HOW THEY DO THEIR CRAFT. 1094 00:56:50,908 --> 00:56:52,450 - ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL, 1095 00:56:52,492 --> 00:56:54,536 MAKE SOME NOISE FOR YOUR HOST FOR THE SHOW, RED GRANT. 1096 00:56:54,578 --> 00:56:56,372 LET'S GO, Y'ALL! 1097 00:56:56,412 --> 00:56:58,414 - SEE, SOME OF Y'ALL AIN'T GONNA LAUGH TONIGHT 1098 00:56:58,456 --> 00:57:01,043 'CAUSE YOU AIN'T GOT YOUR SPIRIT RIGHT. 1099 00:57:01,085 --> 00:57:02,878 SO, HAVE FUN TONIGHT, BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW 1100 00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:05,005 IF YOU GONNA BE HERE TOMORROW, NIGGA. 1101 00:57:05,047 --> 00:57:07,799 ALL RIGHT? THIS IS YOUR NIGHT. 1102 00:57:07,841 --> 00:57:09,093 [cheers and applause] 1103 00:57:09,134 --> 00:57:12,054 THIS BROTHER RIGHT HERE IS FROM DAYTON, OHIO, 1104 00:57:12,096 --> 00:57:14,514 WHERE KATT WILLIAMS IS FROM. 1105 00:57:14,556 --> 00:57:15,974 HE'S FUNNY AS HELL. 1106 00:57:16,016 --> 00:57:18,643 GIVE IT UP FOR MY MAN MR. CLAYTON PERKINS, Y'ALL. 1107 00:57:18,685 --> 00:57:19,937 LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S GO. 1108 00:57:19,978 --> 00:57:22,064 - Y'ALL READY TO SEE KATT? 1109 00:57:22,106 --> 00:57:23,648 [crowd cheers] 1110 00:57:23,690 --> 00:57:26,151 WELL, YOU GOT ME NOW, MOTHERFUCKERS. 1111 00:57:26,193 --> 00:57:27,903 YEAH, I WAS GEEKED TO GET THIS MOTHERFUCKER. 1112 00:57:27,945 --> 00:57:29,571 I CALLED EVERYBODY I KNOW. I EVEN CALLED MY GIRL. 1113 00:57:29,613 --> 00:57:30,948 I GOT TO BEAT BOXIN' THAT SHIT. 1114 00:57:30,989 --> 00:57:32,741 "BABY, YOU AIN'T GONNA BELIEVE THIS SHIT. 1115 00:57:32,783 --> 00:57:36,912 I GOT A MOTHERFUCKING JOB." [beat boxing] 1116 00:57:36,954 --> 00:57:40,124 "A, A--A JOB." [beat boxing] 1117 00:57:40,165 --> 00:57:41,541 THAT BITCH IS LIKE, 1118 00:57:41,583 --> 00:57:42,918 "GOOD, NIGGA, NOW YOU CAN HELP ME WITH THAT RENT." 1119 00:57:42,960 --> 00:57:45,754 [beat boxing] "RENT, RENT, RENT, RENT." 1120 00:57:45,796 --> 00:57:47,214 [cheers and applauses] 1121 00:57:47,256 --> 00:57:50,550 - [laughs] KEEP THAT ENERGY-- THAT SAME ENERGY GOING. 1122 00:57:50,592 --> 00:57:54,096 Y'ALL GIVE IT UP FOR MY GIRL, CHAUNTE WAYANS. 1123 00:57:54,138 --> 00:57:56,765 - THAT'S RIGHT. Y'ALL LOOKING REAL CONFUSED RIGHT NOW. 1124 00:57:56,807 --> 00:58:00,602 LIKE, "WHO IS THIS DUDE WITH TITTIES?" 1125 00:58:00,644 --> 00:58:01,603 THIS IS A REAL QUICK ANNOUNCEMENT 1126 00:58:01,645 --> 00:58:02,896 TO UNATTRACTIVE GIRLS-- 1127 00:58:02,938 --> 00:58:05,441 IF YOU ARE UGLY IN THE STRAIGHT WORLD, 1128 00:58:05,482 --> 00:58:06,775 TEN TIMES OUT OF TEN, 1129 00:58:06,817 --> 00:58:10,988 YOU'RE GONNA BE UGLY IN THE GAY WORLD. 1130 00:58:11,029 --> 00:58:13,949 ALL RIGHT? SO... [chuckles] 1131 00:58:13,991 --> 00:58:15,784 DON'T TRY TO COME TO THE GAY LIFE 1132 00:58:15,826 --> 00:58:17,995 LIKE NIGGAS AIN'T TREATING YOU SHIT 1133 00:58:18,036 --> 00:58:21,539 'CAUSE WE WON'T EITHER, OKAY? 1134 00:58:21,581 --> 00:58:25,919 - IF YOU AIN'T LAUGHING YET, YOU JUST STUPID. 1135 00:58:25,961 --> 00:58:28,588 THIS FEMALE RIGHT HERE IS FROM ALABAMA-- 1136 00:58:28,630 --> 00:58:30,882 MOBILE, ALABAMA. 1137 00:58:30,924 --> 00:58:34,511 BY WAY OF MOBILE, ALABAMA. 1138 00:58:34,552 --> 00:58:37,055 I LOVE HER TO DEATH, MAN, KATT LOVE HER TO DEATH. 1139 00:58:37,097 --> 00:58:40,267 Y'ALL GIVE IT UP FOR MY GIRL ASHIMA FRANKLIN, Y'ALL. 1140 00:58:40,309 --> 00:58:42,102 Y'ALL GIVE IT UP FOR ASHIMA FRANKLIN, Y'ALL. 1141 00:58:42,144 --> 00:58:43,728 LET'S GO, LET'S GO! 1142 00:58:43,770 --> 00:58:45,105 - SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE LADIES IN HERE 1143 00:58:45,147 --> 00:58:47,107 WHO SUCKING DICK RIGHT HERE, ANY LADIES SUCKING DICK? 1144 00:58:47,149 --> 00:58:48,817 [cheers] 1145 00:58:48,859 --> 00:58:50,902 OH, SHIT. 1146 00:58:50,944 --> 00:58:53,697 AIN'T NOBODY ON THE FRONT ROW, PLAYER. 1147 00:58:53,738 --> 00:58:55,824 WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? 1148 00:58:55,866 --> 00:58:57,617 HEY, YOU GOT A WHITE GIRL, 1149 00:58:57,659 --> 00:58:58,910 AND SHE AIN'T SUCKING YOUR DICK, NIGGA? 1150 00:58:58,952 --> 00:59:00,871 WHAT THE FUCK? 1151 00:59:00,912 --> 00:59:02,498 NIGGA, KILL YOURSELF. 1152 00:59:02,539 --> 00:59:04,291 WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKER? 1153 00:59:04,333 --> 00:59:08,253 YOU GOT A WHITE GIRL ON THE FRONT ROW AT KATT WILLIAMS? 1154 00:59:08,295 --> 00:59:10,255 MAN, MARTIN LUTHER KING DIED FOR NOTHING, NIGGA. 1155 00:59:10,297 --> 00:59:12,090 YOU GET YOUR GODDAMN ASS ON UP OUT OF HERE. 1156 00:59:12,132 --> 00:59:14,885 - THIS MY MAN RIGHT HERE, MAN. HE'S SIGNATURE, DOG. 1157 00:59:14,926 --> 00:59:18,013 HE A TWO-TIME DEF COMEDY JAM ALL STAR, 1158 00:59:18,055 --> 00:59:20,682 AND HE IS HILARIOUS, RIPPING THIS BITCH UP. 1159 00:59:20,724 --> 00:59:23,018 Y'ALL GIVE IT UP FOR MY MAN, MR. WIL SYLVINCE, Y'ALL. 1160 00:59:23,060 --> 00:59:24,644 Y'ALL GIVE IT UP FOR WIL SYLVINCE. 1161 00:59:24,686 --> 00:59:26,313 LET'S GO, LET'S GO. 1162 00:59:26,355 --> 00:59:30,734 - THE WORST SEAT IN COACH IS THAT MIDDLE SEAT, ISN'T IT? 1163 00:59:30,775 --> 00:59:34,905 [laughter] 1164 00:59:37,074 --> 00:59:38,783 LOOK AT THIS, YOU GOTTA SIT LIKE A GAY PERSON IN COACH. 1165 00:59:38,825 --> 00:59:40,160 LOOK AT THIS SHIT. 1166 00:59:40,202 --> 00:59:43,330 I'M A THUG. I DONE SHOT SIX MOTHERFUCKERS. 1167 00:59:43,372 --> 00:59:45,165 LOOK AT... 1168 00:59:45,207 --> 00:59:47,209 [laughter] 1169 00:59:47,251 --> 00:59:49,086 - THIS IS MY HOMEGIRL. SHE'S FUNNY AS SHIT. 1170 00:59:49,127 --> 00:59:50,921 SHE'S LIKE THE MOTHER OF THE TOUR. 1171 00:59:50,962 --> 00:59:53,048 WANT YOU ALL TO KEEP THE ENERGY GOING. 1172 00:59:53,090 --> 00:59:54,174 GIVE IT UP FOR MY HOMEGIRL MS. PAT, Y'ALL. 1173 00:59:54,216 --> 00:59:55,800 LET'S GO, LET'S GO. 1174 00:59:55,842 --> 00:59:58,136 - ANYBODY MARRIED? [cheers and applause] 1175 00:59:58,178 --> 00:59:59,888 I'M FOR REAL ABOUT MY MARRIAGE. 1176 00:59:59,930 --> 01:00:01,181 I JUST GET IN THE BED, AND I BE LIKE, 1177 01:00:01,223 --> 01:00:02,766 "BABY, YOU WANT SOME PUSSY?" 1178 01:00:02,807 --> 01:00:04,893 [laughter] 1179 01:00:04,935 --> 01:00:06,895 'CAUSE IF YOU WANT IT, I'LL WASH IT. 1180 01:00:06,937 --> 01:00:11,733 [laughter] 1181 01:00:11,775 --> 01:00:15,362 - MY HAIR WAS PROBABLY THE MOST MAGNIFICENT IT'S EVER BEEN, 1182 01:00:15,404 --> 01:00:18,073 AND I REALLY LOOKED LIKE THE MAYOR OF WHOVILLE. 1183 01:00:18,115 --> 01:00:20,284 MY WHITE FRIENDS WILL APPRECIATE IT. 1184 01:00:20,325 --> 01:00:23,412 LONG LIVE THE GRINCH. [laughter] 82830

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