Original subtitles

(playful music) (child giggling)

(intense music)

- "Improbably Poppy."

Hey, you puked on me.

(crowd cheering)

(gun shot)

(crowd gasping)

As planned, I'd like to introduce our new bassist.

(alarm beeping)

Welcome to the "Improbably Poppy" family.

I'm Poppy.

- [Group] Hi, Poppy.

- What are you going to do today, Poppy?

- I wanna watch my friends play spin the bottle.

- Yeah, all right!

Yeah, all right! - My first kiss.

- And my second.

- I played seven minutes in Heaven

with my brother's babysitter once.

- But Zwink, you told us you used to babysit your brother.

(dramatic music)

- And the best part, I'm gonna watch the whole thing.

- [Group] Yay!

- Now just wash your hands and then we can get started.

- Well, why the (beep) would we wanna do that, Poppy?

- Why would you wash your hands

before engaging in sexual contact

with someone who isn't a trusted monogamous partner?

Do I need to go over there

and pull your puppet hairs

and stick them up your butt

and teach you a lesson about hygiene?

- No, Poppy.

- I have good news and I have bad news.

The bad news is spin the bottle is canceled

until you all learn a valuable lesson in health and hygiene.

- Oh, no! - Ah, man!

- The good news is,

I'm gonna dedicate the next 14 to 16 minutes

to teach you a valuable lesson in health and hygiene.

- [Group] Yay!

Poppy, Poppy, Poppy!

(techno music)

(upbeat music)

- Welcome to another episode

of "Is It Cake With Human Remains."

Today, one lucky contestant will help us determine

which of our three cakes is a dead person

and which two are cakes.

- I'm ready, Poppy!

- You get one guess per cake,

so I suggest guessing correctly.

Blindfold, handcuff, and C-47 him, armed Santas.

Correct guesses earn 100 US dollars,

incorrect guesses earn 100 yen.

So Skeeter, are you ready to tell us

is it cake with human remains?

(crowd yelling)

- I'd like to try this one, Poppy.

(crowd applauding)

- Skeeter is opted to taste cake number three.

Do you really think

this is one of the not dead loser cakes, Skeeter?

- I do, Poppy.

- I hope you're right.

Armed Santas.

(tense music)

- This is definitely cake.

- Ooh, all three are human remains.

(crowd gasping)

That's our bad.

- Poppy, you got me!

(upbeat music)

(tense music)

(mellow techno music)

- And we're back, something I...

(Mr. Skip sighs)

Um, hello, I'm trying to host a show here.

- Sorry, Poppy, I'm sad.

- Oh no, what's wrong?

- Someone started a rumor about me.

- What's the rumor?

'Cause sometimes rumors can be true.

- People have been saying that I don't have any pubes.

- Mr. Skip, that's terrible.

I'm gonna get to the bottom of this rumor.

(group cheering)

- When you're done, maybe you can find out

who started that rumor about me having a sideways pussy.

- Here I go, wish me luck.

(mellow music)

A clue.

So Brad-

- It's Bart.

- Does Mr. Skip have pubes?

- I heard they didn't.

- I'm getting nowhere.

- I heard you're looking for information

about a certain rumor

about a certain puppet's pubes or lack there of.

- What's it to ya?

- Well, I may or may not have some information

that might interest you,

if that's of interest to you.

- Name your price.

- Well, wifey and I have been jonesing

for a little date night this month,

but no babysitter

means nobody's gonna look after the little ones.

- I don't do diapers.

- They change their own diapers.

- Home by midnight and they're in bed by nine.

- You got a deal.

- What you got?

- You're gonna wanna sit for this.

- I'm sitting.

Who started the rumor?

- You did, Poppy.

You've been telling everybody he has no pubes.

Several people have told you to be more discreet,

but you just keep saying it.

Was that helpful?

- Incredibly, I've cracked the case.

- All right, so I'll see you Saturday?

- I had my fingers crossed, chump.

- What a woman.

- Did you find out anything?

- Shut up, you dirty sock.

What are you, five?

- What a woman.

(techno music)

- Joining us today is Dr. Nicholson,

a board certified obstetrician and gynecologist.

Thank you for joining us.

- Happy to be here, Poppy.

Okay.

- So how's it look down there?

I figured I might as well get some more bang for my buck.

- Unfortunately, I can't perform an examination

on you right now.

- Are you serious?

That should be illegal.

- I'm sorry.

- Just do it.

- Can't.

- So what inspired you to become an OB-GYN?

And don't tell me it's the snatch.

- Well, women's health is traditionally a-

- [Dr. Nicholson And Poppy] Field that's been neglected

and under researched.

I wanted to have a sort of impact

closing the healthcare disparities between-

- Yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada.

So what's a labia minora?

Is it this? (bell dings)

(mellow music)

All things are in process,

rising and returning,

plants come to blossom,

but only to return to the root.

Returning to the root is like seeking tranquility.

Seeking tranquility is like moving towards destiny.

To move towards destiny is like eternity.

To know eternity is enlightenment.

And not to recognize eternity brings disorder and evil.

And they all lived happily ever after, the end.

(puppets exclaiming)

(all sniffing)

What's that smell?

- It smells like gaping (beep).

I think we found the source of the smell.

- Zwink, you stink.

- [Poppy] Zwink, what happened?

- Oh, I don't know,

I guess I've just been feeling a little down lately.

I just don't give a rat's ass anymore.

- Sounds to me, Zwink,

that you've got to learn to practice some self care.

- Self care, what's that?

- Practicing good hygiene.

Good hygiene will help you feel so much better.

You'll get the hang of it in no time.

Let's get you cleaned up.

(all cheering)

- All right!

(upbeat music) (clippers buzzing)

(Zwink sighing)

Not now, Mom!

Mom, don't come in here!

- Look at this fresh and clean gentleman.

- Zwink don't stink no more.

- It doesn't smell like gaping (beep),

more like closed (beep) now.

- [Poppy] What's wrong, Zwink?

- I'm all clean now,

but I still wasn't able to scrub away my sadness.

- Sounds to me like you need meds.

(crowd cheering)

- Bottoms up.

Yum, yum.

(mellow music)

- And remember, Dr. Poppy,

the hospital has a very vested interest

in this patient surviving.

Your tenure depends on it.

- [Poppy] I know, I know.

I've been studying medicine for days to get this right.

- Well, did you read chapter two?

(dramatic tone)

Well, did you?

(machine beeping)

- [Poppy] I was gonna get to that one.

- I put my neck out for you, Dr. Poppy,

now I need you to put this guy's neck back in for me,

or it's both our asses on the street.

If I lose my job, I lose my apartment,

and you can kiss your sublet goodbye.

(machine beeping)

- [Poppy] The more you talk,

the less likely it is I'll do a good job.

Threatening my sublet even though I don't have good credit.

I can't work this way.

COVID is over.

(blood gushing)

- Is that bad?

- Yeah, that's supposed to happen.

(beep) Whatever.

Squatter's rights.

(gun shot)

(machine beeping)

- Am I gonna live?

- Oh, fuck you heard all that?

All right, what's it gonna take

to make all this go away?

- If I live, can I sublet your room?

- I'd like that.

It is a shared bathroom though, is that all right?

(machine beeping)

Why does no one wanna share a bathroom with me?

(upbeat music)

- That's our show.

- Poppy, I'm more of a visual learner.

Is there another way you can concisely summarize

the importance of hygiene and health for me?

- And I'm more of an audible learner.

Is there a way you can concisely summarize it through sound?

- No to the former, yes to the latter.

Here's a song I wrote just for you.

(upbeat music)

♪ Sometimes when I play outside I don't smell so nice ♪

♪ And I feel a little dirty ♪

♪ A little bit like a garbage can ♪

♪ Or a grown up man in his late 30s ♪

♪ And no one wants to be the smelly one ♪

♪ It's no fun and it gets lonely ♪

♪ Get up, let's get tidy ♪

♪ If you wanna have friends, then you gotta be clean ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Clean ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Tonight, movie at my house ♪

♪ And my friends are coming over but I can't find my couch ♪

♪ If it's a mess, they won't be impressed ♪

♪ And I can't relax when it looks like that ♪

♪ And no one wants to be the smelly one ♪

♪ It's no fun and it gets lonely ♪

♪ Get up, let's get tidy ♪

♪ If you wanna have friends then you gotta be clean ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Clean ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ If you think you stink don't take a risk ♪

♪ Just ask someone you trust for a sniff test ♪

♪ If you think you stink don't take a risk ♪

♪ Just ask someone you trust for a sniff test ♪

(upbeat music)

(metal clinks)

(nurse exclaiming)

(gun shots)