All language subtitles for ENGl Bert Hellinger - POKRET DUHA, deo 2 od 4

now this kind of work of course is

applicable in

many different realms for instance of

course in uh in education in school and

then of course uh in the relationship

between parents and children if that

difficult children so we could look at

that and find a solution for the parents

and the

children and of course we can apply it

in uh in medicine and

health as we have had some examples this

morning and we can also apply it in

business and if there is a question

of

deciding for instance which profession

to

take and it has to do with

success and about success one important

Insight is

that shall I really say that all these

things shall I disturb you or

so shall

I well success has a face of the

mother success has the face of the

mother as you are related to your mother

you are related to

success in every

respect then we know what to do you see

if you want to have success I mentioned

that just here to give you an

idea what kind of work we could do here

and

um I just say who wants to solve

something without mentioning in

subject then I I choose somebody again

and I start working now who wants to

work with

me I work with you

nervous

now what is the

issue um struggling with

success

and can you detail this in a

way um whenever I've got the possibility

to shine I just withdraw and I always

sabotage

myself and

and whenever whenever something I

need to manifest always comes after I

really need it so it's always have to

jump from one hole to another to adjust

my enery okay okay it's the old story of

course we hear them all the time

complaining complaining complaining I

it's boring of

course now what what happened actually

here she has an inner image of herself

is

see and that image is connected with

certain

feelings and what she does is following

this inner

image but we

know all these inner

images are not connected with

reality they're made up for a

purpose strange purpose isn't it

and

uh

well I don't want to explain more about

it now what what is the kind of work you

do I'm a breath therapist rebirther

rebirthing a breath

therapist you do rebirthing MH yes it

don't seem to be reborn H not in this

case

not in this

case that's all you

do uh I do also life coaching life

coaching life

coaching without any

success

okay well of course uh

this is standard procedure here that's

nothing

extraordinary just standard procedure

because always the same always the same

so what shall I do

now she does life coaching isn't

it stranger

can you imagine somebody is coaching a

dog how to

live can you imagine that does a dog

need to be taught how to

live and we do life

coaching what is our image of other

people

at that

moment what is that

image strange isn't

it how can somebody

live

her who needs to do life coaching

shall I exaggerated you

say no I won't do that but just I just

uh I put a person there I need a

woman who wants to volunteer okay

stand you are

life and you stand

opposite for

I need a

woman who would volunteer you

okay now you I put your here for a

moment and you sent

opposite yeah I CL GI of her

go on your

knees

e for

now I put you here again

okay I interrupted here there's no

progress

possible okay thank you

all and you come here at my side once

more what happened when you were

small um

nothing big

when um when I was one year old we moved

to Egypt for 5 years okay we moved with

my parents to Egypt for 5 years that's

the only thing which was big in my

life she went with her family to Egypt

yes

what

for my dad was sent to work in the

embassy from

Poland are you from Poland I'm

polish and do you have brothers and

sisters I've got one brother

older younger

younger and both parents are polish they

both

polish I have a strange image and I will

try out you see so I'm still following

you you see good

okay

good stand

here and who was the woman who was

representing

life you come here again

of course you be representing the mother

we saw that you see now you are the

mother and this is

Poland

for

for

for

for

for for

are you Jewish no

not for

of course Poland represents somebody

else her mother obviously

I think you can sit down again

bad TI you

just lie behind her behind behind her

yes this

way and just look over

there see she was reaching to somebody

else that why I put that other person

here

you see

here there's no

solution here we move within the realm

of Soul not of spirit

is in the realm of

conscience of

guilt and trying to save others

see now your mother obviously wants to

die

and she's drawn to death by her mother

and by somebody

else and you what are you

saying I don't know that H I don't want

that you say to your mother I die in

your

place that's inner

sentence that how you behave

behave without any success why should

you have success if you want to

die and that's another

Dynamic within the realm of Soul you see

a love of a

child

who puts herself

above life

saving life management something like

this so

ridiculous so

ridiculous

yes the question is what is the

solution now in this

context the basic

solution is in one

sentence the sentence is I hear you

there I hear you

there that's it now we get to strength

who was a

climed

before stand opposite

who is the helper here

tell her I don't need you I don't need

you I hear you

there I hear you

there how is

that for you I'm strong

exactly so you turn

away and change your

profession okay thank you

all just something for consideration you

see there is one who does family

constellations

see and and he

uh is anxious to have

clients

so whom does he or she

need do they need

clients or they do they need their

mother the client support them

like the mother supported them therefore

those who are afraid that they don't

have enough clients see then to have to

watch out to get clients

see they miss their mother

yes thank you yes

you she gave me a very clear

sign I look behind

no everybody can

[ __ ] you give me and your group a very

clear

sign that I have no

chances now look at

you everybody sees

it except

her now if a CL and comes to you you see

and sits like her you can forget

them so make I this is a

sign so I'm going to be excluded H I'm

going to be

excluded I take the signs of clients

seriously I don't enter a

game if I would have tried now I would

enter

again

okay should I go back

that's the second part of the

game e

now this is also a training seminar in a

way you

seen so I explain a few things

so now the way she treated me you

see it's the same way she treats her

mother

that why I'm not offended because I like

your

mother I like all mothers of course

now what shall I do

now I don't know what to do so I don't

know that was the third part of the

game yes I gave you three

chances you missed them all

three so I'll stop it here okay

in a way we have to be grateful to her

because it was a good learning for us

see very good

learning had a chance to witness

something that we might not see so often

and now we we see there are movements of

the spirit

mind these things are moved by other

forces they're not at our

disposal that we have to get into

resonance with everything that we know

exactly where

likeis can be

sure and their failure is

unavoidable okay now I do something else

who has uh wants to do something with

me you

again okay

everybody was looking at her

ly now what is the

issue um my youngest

child and um he

stutters stutters yeah he shakes

and he's very very

angry you stated it very clearly you see

so therefore I can do something with it

to and assist you in this how old is a

child

eight is it a boy or a girl a boy

do you have other children I have

another boy of

10 just thank you

see I have an important in

observation children never have problems

the problem is somewhere else in the

family you see something is

unresolved Sometimes some generations

back you

see therefore I wouldn't work with the

child at

all

so I would work with

you agreed

okay good we want to find a solution for

you and for the

child so I

will choose a representative for

her who would volunteer to do

this you okay

just stand there and look at this this

there we see the shaking

for

for for

and I need a representative for the

boy anybody volunteering you

okay just stand

here

for

for for

e

for

for for

oh

oh

has there been a murder in the

family not that I'm aware of

further

back I don't know abortions

yes um I've had an abortion

I take

you just stand here

and I need a representative for the

other child that's a boy too the older

one yes I take

you stand by you think it all right for

you

now you stand up you stand up

and look at what's going on

oh

oh

oh

looks very sad

everything very sad

we don't

know anything

here and then sometimes it's

helpful to set up a representative for

the mystery for the

secret and

uh I would choose a man for for secret

who would

volunteer you

okay stand where you think it's

appropriate for

you

for

for

for

e

for for

oh

h

no

I will interrupt it

here thank you

all how you feeling

now I'm feeling

confused and heavy

see everything is concentrated on you

you

see you could see

that so something must have happened you

see with you and within your family you

see that affects all the others but what

it is is not

clear and uh the procedure is you see

that you

just let it stand as it is you see no

interpretation no attempt to investigate

anything you just let it work like this

as an image you see and then suddenly

very often something comes

up where everything falls into its place

see it makes sense see anyhow you could

see your son has nothing to do with your

son

is and uh we could also see the movement

of not speaking you see here with you

you

see holding the hand there and not

allowed to say anything or

to that's it just not allowed to say

anything and uh stuttering you see very

often has to do

with

uh something that is supposed to see

like a murderer and a

victim in the family and so stutterings

has to do something with it's a kind of

schizophrenia you see it means there are

two movements at the same time that

cannot reconcile you see and

schizophrenia is a murderer and a victim

and very often we stammering it the same

you see something similar it's only on a

different level you see and

uh that's all I can say at the moment

you see but trust see trust that

something comes up at the right time and

and now you understand your son better

see and you can can tell him a words

inwardly not

outwardly you say to him thank

you okay can I leave it there thank you

okay

great I I say something about

helping helping

has a high reputation see in our society

see and many people when they choose a

profession they say I want have a

profession where I can help people

see so many who become psychotherapists

for instance or social

workers or medical

doctors they have they wish to help

other

people there may be a few of them among

you here to

now if I look at the families of those

who have that desire to

help

so then I

see

that those who want to help other

people have a person in the family

whom they want to

save and as a rule it is a

mother and the child can never

save one of the

parents can never because this is

against a basic law of

love and this basic law says

there is a

hierarchy in

every relationship in every family every

group and the hierarchy

says those who have been members of that

group

before have a higher rank than those who

come

later therefore parents are all always

above their

children they come first the children

come

second and the first child has a higher

rank than the second one and so

on now under the influence of

conscience many

children out of of love for their mother

or their father or somebody else in the

family they want to save

them and there's a basic

sentence they say in their

hearts and the sentence

is I die in your

place and then that

shows that any violation of this basic

law is

punished by

death it leads to

death therefore in their heart they have

a desire to die as is you before of

course you see this is that same

sentence you want to save the mother

from her death from her being drawn to

death by saying I inure

place that's very very common very

common and these attempts always

fail and then there is an inner

purification

required that they give up helping

and uh one of the sentences that helps

to separate is you there I here you see

that's a clear separation then they do

not longer

interfere in the destiny of their mother

or father or somebody else in the

family but since they didn't succeed in

the family

they say I want to help

others if I didn't succeed here in the

family somewhere else I'm sure will I

will succeed and then they become

helpers and if you look at

them the image is that they are mothers

or fathers and the clents are

children but it's exact

opposite the client is a

mother and the therapist and helper is

the

child you could see that before

beautifully

demonstrated and

therefore they need a

client to save their mother in their

hearts and therefore of course they

never succeed

and um this kind of helping has a high

price you see it's burn

out burn out you find only there where a

child wants to help a client as if it

were a child and the client were father

or

mother that's the basic Dynamic behind

helping and of course course we find

that in our circles among those who do

family

constellations everywhere

too

everywhere but some of them have been

trained in Psychotherapy you see and

then they say well

hinger he has no heart for the

client is so harsh you see treating

people in a bad way

we do better you better come to us then

we save

you yes we keep you a

child I saturate a little bit that's

necessary for this kind of teaching of

course but you can observe that

everywhere now if uh

the helper has this attitude to see I he

you

there and he or

she gets into

contact in

resonance with a mother or father of the

client with deep

respect and they put themselves on the

last

Place those who help somebody in

agreement with their father and their

mother then they are strong and as soon

as a client moves in the direction of

connecting to the mother and to the

father their work is

done very

quickly no other work is near is

true now what I just said about

helping we meet

everywhere in the lives of

people and of course we have experience

experience of this ourselves all of us

and I include myself of

course I have been moving in this field

for a long time so I have a certain

experience

also now you look at

those about whom you are worried

you have worry about somebody

you for instance a

partner you're worried about a

partner or you are worried about a child

and you want to

help and to change

something just imagine

it in a clear

way and then you

test what kind of feeling do you really

have how old are you for

instance with such a

feeling are you an

adult or I become anxious like a child

trying to save

somebody who in your

mind assumes the image of your mother or

your

father or somebody else in your family

and then you

withdraw leaving that other

person to their destiny

to their

strength and you

say I

hear

you

there and you

withdraw and you allow

yourself to grow to your full strength

and you feel the difference in your

soul and in your

feeling and if you watch that other

person you also see the

difference in them

and

suddenly all are

free free from one

another okay

the first thing is I take the full time

necessary so you don't have to worry

about that you see do relax just relax

as I said I take the full

time you don't have to care about me I

care about

you you don't have to care about me I

care about you you see so I have enough

time okay for you I have enough

time enough

time enough time enough time yes I will

speak a little bit louder so that you

understand me well you see okay good

than

okay and it was um

no I have enough time you don't have to

hurry in any

way we arrive very slowly at the right

time at the right goal very slow

now you close your eyes close your

eyes and to say to

somebody inwardly just in your

heart please

now you feel better

already expanded yes yes yes

now what is the issue you wanted to work

on

um it was relating to

illness ill

illness to ill

health to your health

yes what is the what is the illness or

problem

um chronic long-term all my life

problems with my my ear this ear um with

a

tumor um and some quite major invasive

surgery about four years ago where does

it begin in your

body in the face down the from there to

where from there to to there to here

that is a problem area this area on the

left side mainly

okay now you close your eyes

and you

imagine you sent

somebody to this problem

area to look at

it somebody to look at

it

carefully and

there he finds some

people and he is questioning

them he's asking them

see what they want

and this person takes the full time

needed to listen to what they

want and he's is

wondering what kinds of things they

want and he asked them

what he can do for

them and he receives some

surprising answers

then he says to

them I will not tell anybody what you

told

me but he

is stretching out his

arms so that he can impraise everybody

of them

he takes all of them into his

arms and suddenly he feels a strength

coming from

them a

warmth and laugh

and they say at

last somebody was thinking of

us and that

person feels

how

light he becomes

suddenly comforted by the love of so

many

people and then he comes back to

you and look at his face

and his face is

shining

okay all the best

you good of course again that was an

example of changing images

see widening them

up and uh this new kind of doing family

consolations going with the spirit mind

is always getting

broader all

encompassing everything

so we move Beyond a boundary you also

move the B the boundary now I see in

your face good

good and this

way

well everything is

possible with love

so you close your

eyes and you

imagine you are standing in front of

your

mother and

now you

enter the mind and the body of your

mother and you look at

you from the point of view of your

mother is it

clear you are your own mother now and as

your own mother you look at you as a

child

okay

well this offers New Perspectives of

course nobody knows

his or her mother

nobody poor

mothers not

known by their

children should I tell something about

mothers

something more about

mothers all of us are afraid of our

mothers what are we afraid

about we are

afraid of their greatness

we cannot

stand their

greatness therefore we shut

off because their greatness is too much

for

us can you follow me in this

understand

this you

cannot poor

child poor child no

wait now

I I understood

the greatness of mothers and of my

mother when I moved into this other

Realm of the spirit

mind now the spirit mind whatever that

is we don't know this is just a

term we cannot grasp What Spirit mind is

we only see the

effects of a creative

movement now

there

is the

movement of this creative Spirit

mind

revealed more

beautifully most beautifully

in a

mother nowhere

else can we

experience and

observe this creative

movement more

beautifully then in a

mother in every

mother in this respect there are no

different

mothers they all were

taken into the service of this Spirit

mind and they had no

choice whether

they

were moved by this Spirit

mind and

everything that let them to be our

mother was a movement of this Spirit

mind and it doesn't make any

difference in which way

they became our

mothers So Close Your Eyes for a

moment and you

see that your mother

was in the service of some other great

forces of a

Divine

force of a creative

force and when our

mother was led to meet our father

both were taken up in a

movement for

us only they were taken up by a creative

movement they were brought together in

which way ever does make any

difference because whatever they did as

a man

and a woman in their

love is a

revelation of a

greater creative

Force

everything connected with

this is a kind

of

worship the most comprehensive

worship

possible and then we say sometimes

well they were passionate their passion

brought them

together this passion is a Divine

movement and because it was IR

resistible

shows that it was a divine

movement and in this

way they were

uniting as a man and a

woman and our mother

became

pregnant with

us and then from that time on

she was no longer

free for her whole

life everything was

changed she was in the

service of

Life of

our

life with all the

risk

involved the

risk of her own

life no

woman can become a

mother without the

risk of her own

life and that why it is so difficult for

us to look at this and the greatness of

their mother of our

mother that she agreed to this in many

ways to be in the service of

our

life and now we look at

her and we look

Beyond seeing

her

connected with something

infinite and then we bow

deeply and we say to our

mother and to that great

force operating behind

her yes

yes to

her as she

is and of course yes to our

father as he

is and yes to

us as we

are exactly as we are

and through this

yes we are

ready and

able to serve

life in the very same way

well as our

father and our

mother now we are in

tune with the whole of life as it

is and suddenly we know what it

means to

be happy

okay mothers make

happy relationship to our

mother saying yes to

her makes us

happy and that means also that we say

yes to serve life like our mother

well I'll tell you a secret about this

kind of work you

see at the end you see once you

have connected a person to the mother

the work is done everything else is

just unimportant but this is you have

succeeded in

this you can do everything

and they have an observation you see

also so those who have a close

connection to their

mother they

shine their faces

Shine Like

You Yes it's

shining okay now who wanted to

work who wanted to raise your hands

again

so work with you yes

chewing one's mother is not

enough well take these signs seriously

of

course just just to move the chewing gum

you see she

had what did she do

before during that

exercise it's

difficult it's difficult

close your

eyes I give you sentence that you say to

your

mother that would be an

aphorism more is not

enough

can't more is not enough

okay

she said to me

okay what does that

mean it means more

now you stand there

and I need a man I'll take

you for

I

demonstrated her chances for a couple

relationship for

it's sufficient I demonstrated thank you

for helping

I have no

pity after a certain pity for her

mother but she doesn't need my pity

either of course

no

mother no life

rejecting the mother is rejecting

life now what shall I do now

I don't hear what you

say it's for me to do not for

you what can you do I need to do

something she has given up life

life that's the truth

I will explain something to you see

that now if you have a client like

her and we see

this sh she

is determined to die actually see that

what she is

then

we feel tempted to help you see and uh

since we do family

constellations the Temptation

is we shall do a

constellation and in this

way we prevent the basic movement you

see so she no longer has to face up to

her mother immediately whatever happened

doesn't matter what

happens doesn't make any difference

there's a mother and there's a

child and the mother is great and the

child is small and the mother gives and

the child takes that's

all and unless she moves her herself in

this

direction I feel I'm not

permitted to try anything

else and I cannot because I have too

deep a

respect for her mother

but I tell you something you're are

leading an easy life no

applications very

easy has a little prize of

unhappiness but the gain of nothing to

do is see no applications you see no

services to be done see just waiting for

the others to do

something that's a whole life for many

waiting for the others to do

something that's not true H that's not

true not

true no

sorry that's not true not

true you have to convince me first

now why did you raise your

hand because I wanted to

work

what what I wanted to have a

knif oh these are

generalizations I want to

have I want to have have a

partner I want to have

children no you can't have a partner we

saw that no mother no partner very

simple those who are looking for a

partner I ask him see what about your

mother and they see immediately there's

no chance for a

partner there is

none there can wait for many more

years partnership begins with a

mother if that succeeds the relationship

to the

mother

then partner relationship succeeds

anyhow you die you will die before there

is a chance for

partnership you're determined to die of

course you

are you've given up life in your own

heart in suicid attemp so far

no

no that would have been an easy way out

of

course well could contemplate it perhaps

as a chance I did when I was much

younger I did when I was much much

younger there you

are yes sheide I saw that immediately

I don't want I don't want leave it like

that I want

it I feel such a

huge

burden on

me and the more I work with it and make

peace with my mother and make peace with

my

father and make peace with myself and

makes peace with my life

it feels

that nothing changes and that's very

depressing because I've been

walking for so many years and doing

hopefully

sincerely as much as I

can well if you go the wrong way it

doesn't matter how far you go you see

this is what I'm saying yes

is her mother still alive she is how old

is she 68

I make a suggestion you seeon I have a

suggestion you see I have a suggestion

for you a what a suggest suggestion yes

please

yes so I will interrupt that

work and

tonight you write 10 10

pages a letter to your

mother and you enumerate all the good

things she she did for you okay no

problem no problem to do that okay then

tomorrow we shall see

further 10

pages at

least at

least okay agreed yeah it

okay so tomorrow shall see what

happens

okay and sleep

well okay good I'll leave it here

see could you follow me

there this kind of work work

so and of course uh many could

also go through their own relationship

to their mother and perhaps correct a

few things you

see now the wor thing about uh our

treatment of mothers is that we deny

them the right to just must be ordinary

woman many people think their mothers

must be like God you

see with no Faults always available for

them is

see

yes and they don't see the reality of

life and they remain

children all the time see

they can't

grow and uh once I wrote a letter to my

mother after she was

dead many years afterwards but I wrote a

letter and I wrote to

her I dismiss you from my

expectations that that to be greater

than other

women she must have been very relieved

if she if she would have heard about it

you see

here in this

place I'm never

alone I

scrutinize this turbulent soul and I

cannot