Original subtitles

Like, I want to kiss you that bad.

I know. Same.

Yeah.

The reason I don't give a fuck

is because, at the end of the night,

who's the one licking my pussy, cunt?

Like that's, for me, I don't care about that.

Con's on the prowl today.

He's playing all these girls.

Catia's family,

and I don't like the way she's being treated by Con.

He actually was going to invite another girl over

and tell you to go home.

What a cunt.

I'm hiding.

You and me, we're done.

Got the rig out and I'm ready to launch.

I'm a little bit of a sly fox.

I'm the queen 'cause I'm the hottest in Cairns.

Step on my toes, I'll stomp on yours.

My dream job is no job.

I'm a little bit of a shit-stirrer.

Turn up that music and watch me dance.

I do use my tits to an advantage.

I came out my mum's vagina having a party.

Everyone needs a Kyle in their life.

yeah, yeah, yeah

yeah, yeah, yeah

Mm. Fuck.

Whoa.

So fucking bright.

Yeah, why is it so bright?

The vibe last night was next level.

There have been some big fights in the Aussie Shore house,

but that one takes the cake.

What the fuck happened last night?

That was just a bit much.

I was shell-shocked.

At the end of the day,

whatever Con's plan and intention were

wasn't the best, it wasn't ideal

and wasn't the nicest,

but Manaaki, he could have approached the situation

in a different way.

I think Manaaki should apologise to Con

and maybe Con should just stop two-timing girls

and just go for me.

I'm interested to see

if things have calmed down from last night.

Con and Manaaki, are they talking right now?

I don't know.

I feel so sick.

Waking up, I definitely don't regret

telling this girl this information,

but I think I definitely overstepped the mark

on the way that I did go about this.

Oh, my God. The tension is real.

Feels a bit awkward in this room after last night, I think.

Yeah, I was about to say you're a bit quiet.

Manaaki is someone that thrives off drama.

It doesn't make you cool,

doesn't make you look like the world's best person.

It makes you look fucking stupid.

I'm not going to repeat myself. It is what it is.

Yeah, fair.

Um...

It was that quiet,

I could hear Catia rip hangover farts from three doors down.

I hate awkward silences.

Manaaki and Con just aren't having a bar of each other.

I don't know. Do we talk about it or...?

I probably could have went about it a different way,

or even given you the solution

of you going and, like, telling her yourself...

..um...but I didn't

and I went about it the way that I did and I can't change that.

Mmm.

Fuck!

I do have a little bit of a track record

of being a little bit unfiltered with my words,

but by no means were my intentions malicious last night

and I think that's what today I'm going to try rectify.

I do apologise around how the whole situation happened.

And I think I could have dealt with it

a better and positive way

rather than making it such,

like, a public...domain.

If you truly had a problem,

you could have pulled me aside.

Help me see the light. I'm like, "You know what, Manaaki?

"Maybe you're right."

But you showed your true colours

to everyone in the family.

I sometimes am very careless with my words,

and I think I should be more mindful of what I'm saying

and when I'm saying it.

No shit.

You open your mouth and say shit

when you shouldn't be saying shit at all.

If it doesn't involve you, don't involve yourself.

The whole thing with the girl,

maybe I didn't handle it the best.

-Yeah. -I can admit that.

Yeah.

But I don't want to do this back and forth.

Like, I really want everyone to be a part of this family

and I want everyone to fucking, like, get along.

I'm over the drama and, like,

I really don't live my life like that.

Yeah.

Manaaki was good enough to apologise.

I'm not one to hold grudges.

I want to put the shit behind us

and move on.

-We all good? -Yeah, 100%.

Cuz.

Morning, honey.

How are you feeling? Obviously, last night...

Mm.

I'm still pissed at him after what he said last night.

You know what you just said, just then?

No.

How are you feeling about

our whole friends with benefits thing?

I don't know. Fine.

-OK. -Why?

I'm just asking because...

One minute he was calling me Lexie.

Next minute, we're up in the shag pad.

It doesn't make sense at all.

What's up?

I trust you, I just don't trust other people.

And that's pretty fair.

But you trust me?

I trust you as of right now.

Good.

Because I haven't done anything to break that trust.

I don't trust Lexie at all.

As of right now, me and Tom, we are friends with benefits.

So, look, with the Lexie situation,

I'm pushing that to the side

because if I want to continue what I have with Tom,

I will continue.

But I don't want to be mugged off.

how to trust somebody

-Oh, here we go!

Everybody, come here!

As the boss,

and how much shit these muppets have been dropping on us,

HR have decided to give me a lovely little holiday

and I've decided to return the favour.

Guys, being a boss is hard,

so I've booked myself a mini break.

And, listen, don't say I don't do anything for youse,

because I've also booked you

an all-expenses-paid overnight trip.

So get ready

because you're going on vacay!

Oh, my God, we're going on vacation.

I cannot wait. I'm so excited!

Vacay! Vacay! Vacay! Vacay!

We're going on vacay.

We're going on holiday.

We're getting out of here.

We're gonna have some fun.

Where...where do we... Wait, wait, wait.

Where do we think we're going?

Port Douglas! Port Douglas!

Port Douglas I reckon as well.

I'm so fucking keen!

We're going on a vacay!

Vacay! Vacay! Vacay!

I think we're going to go to Port Douglas or Hamilton Island

or Airlie Beach.

I don't know. There's so many different options.

But I know that there's gonna be so many tourists

and I'm so keen to fuck!

Alright, I'm going to take these shoes, these shoes.

I don't even know where my socks are.

I need my cleanser.

Oh, I'm ready to go.

Like, get me... get me wherever we're going.

And it's a surprise and I love a surprise.

Like...

Going-out shirts.

I'm gonna wear a bikini. That's all I have.

Don't forget your cologne either.

Charlotte's the best boss.

She knows that we need this family bonding time.

She wants us to get our shit together.

Maybe it's upstairs, my pants.

She knows exactly what we need

and when we need it.

Come on, guys! Let's all go!

-Let's go! -Yeah!

We're gonna have a good weekend this weekend.

Here's to family, here's to fortune,

and here's to fucking!

Three, two, one!

Way!

My dream vacation -

tanning,

sipping on a cocktail.

sexy men all around me.

Everything. I want it all.

-Oh, my God! -Wow.

Holy crap!

What the hell is that?

You're kidding me. I don't do camping, I'm sorry.

These RVs better be taking me to my private jet.

Because if this RV means camping,

then this is just not going to be a fun time.

I don't do povo.

-Oh, my God! -Holy shit.

We are driving for 6 hours.

Fuck!

These guys haven't impressed me that much yet.

So they're not getting no private jet,

no five-star hotels, no life of luxury.

Oh, my God.

They're going in a campervan.

Listen, they'll have to pull their finger out

if they want anything better than that.

-Are we all sleeping in here? -We're doing a whole road trip.

Surely not.

And I've got this nice dress on.

I'm dressed like I'm going to the Logies

and I'm going in a campervan.

Oh, I'm putting on my uggs and calling it a day.

What is going on here?

I feel like, at the end of the day,

I'd rather be laying by the pool.

I'm in a house full of hot people. I don't want to go!

Oh, my God, this is tiny.

How tiny?

Where do we fit our stuff?

Fuck, it's hot in here.

-Fuckin' hell! -Oh.

I'm not having this.

I'm not having this today.

-Who the fuck farted? -Me.

-You stinky grot. -I know.

What about if there's koalas? How cute would that be?

Catch chlamydia again.

Again?

Being a good boss

means giving your minions

an amazing holiday itinerary,

and no vacay would be complete

without a trip to Birdworld.

We're just fucking keen to see some birds.

It actually looks like a wholesome little town, eh?

This does look like a wholesome town.

-I feel like... -Yeah, and look at you.

Everything's coming out at once and this is a wholesome town.

I hate birds.

Oh, gosh.

They have swooped me before when I was younger,

and now I'm petrified.

The beaks, the flapping.

Hey, Johnny! Hey, Johnny! Hey, Johnny!

Ahh! The best place in the world to go

when you have a phobia of birds is Birdworld.

Let's do this.

Is it nice?

Yeah, it's really soft.

Let's go face my fears.

You ready?

I'm ready, yeah.

Are you ready? Oh, no.

-Hey. -How are we going?

Nervous. So do the birds land on you?

-They do. -No, no, no, no!

-They do. -No, no, no! I'll panic.

Are you serious?!

Birdworld is my nightmare.

Go, go, go!

OK, relax. I'm coming around you. Relax.

No, there's one on the fence!

That girl was screaming.

Like, you could have heard her from back to the house.

You got to just be very vigilant in these surroundings.

Very vigilant.

You've got to keep it real.

I'm really freaking out

because I'm just ready for them to land on me

and I'm trying to keep it cool.

I'm trying to keep it cool.

Look how gentle they are.

Just watch, please.

Oh.

-Oh! They're so gentle. -They're actually...

See how gentle they took it off me?

They're actually gentle as fuck, eh.

I'm sussing 'em out. I'm sussing 'em out.

They're actually gentle, Cati.

-Alright, I think... -Oh, my God.

No, no, no! No, no! Get me out of here now.

Get me out of here now.

I have to go! No! No!

I have to go.

I can't do them.

I can't do them! Aaagh!

I want a nap.

How could you say no to a good road trip?

You get to play all these stupid games

you wouldn't normally play.

We have to try and impersonate someone in the house

and we have to guess who we're trying to impersonate.

Alright, I'll go first.

Yep.

That's crazy!

Con!

-Con. -That was too easy.

Oh, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do this.

Catia!

How would you... How would you do me? I'm wondering.

Oh, has anybody seen me Fleshlight?

-What did you just say?

Fuck. The most important thing on this whole trip,

and I left her back at home.

My darling girl Felicia.

Oh, my God. We're here.

Oh, wow.

-Look at that! -Wow.

Beautiful.

It actually looked really beautiful.

I see the blooming lake, there's dragonflies.

There's green grass everywhere.

Then I open the door and I step out...

..into mud.

Nah, this is too...

This is too...too earthly for me. I'm sorry.

I'm a city girl.

So take me back to civilisation.

Where's the closest taxi stand?

I'm going home.

I love the nature in my toes.

Feel that shit in there.

-Get in there. -What is it?

What is it?

Nature in my toes.

So off-putting.

I'll shove my toes in your mouth.

No, you fucking will not.

I hate camping.

Bro, I'm not built for this, bro.

There's bugs, insects. You got mud everywhere.

It's not clean. There's no showers. You can't even toilet.

I'm a very clean person.

I shower four times a fucking day.

This is disgusting.

Oh, Jaeda! Jaeda!

Argh!

Come on, you randy lot.

I know you might want to get wet and wild,

but seriously?

Crocodiles!

Oh. Ohh!

I wouldn't want one of them munching on my fanny.

Aagh!

Catia looked like a 40-year-old housewife

that's, like, also a drowned rat.

Oh, my God!

Catia!

Lily. She's got her tits out.

We should do, like, camp songs, you know what I mean? Like...

Boom, Chihuahua

Boom, Chihuahua

We've got goon!

-Yeah!

Are you kidding?

It takes me back to high school.

You got to do it traditionally.

-Go. -Goon sack.

Get on your knees, I'll give you a little squirtle.

Alright, go.

Three, two, one. Traditional goon style.

Let's go.

No camping trip is complete without...

What? Wine in a bag?

You Aussie lot are weird!

Yeah!

Goon tastes like it's gonna be a messy night tonight.

That's what goon tastes like.

Hell, yeah!

Hands up more fucking wine.

Oh, this isn't your first rodeo.

I think we need one more thing.

What?

Oh.

The goon is flowing. We're in the bush.

We may as well just embrace the feral

and have a bush doof.

We're on!

It's crazy.

Energy!

Whoo!

I am obsessed with your energy.

Maybe do a bikini top and skirt, guys.

I was. Do you want to do that?

-Yep, let's do that. -Yeah, let's do it.

Are youse on my bed dripping wet from the pond?

No, we're dry. We're dry.

We're dry.

My biggest concern tonight is Catia coming into that bed

with those grassy, dirty, muddy feet.

Wash that shit before you get in that bed.

Oh, fuck, it's cold.

Me and Cati, we're putting our makeup on,

and I look from the corner of my eye.

And who do I see?

Tom and Lexie.

Interesting.

Yeah.

What's that?

Wait, I've got something.

Oh, my God.

Wait, she's standing up and leaning into his hand.

Tom, what are you doing with Lexie, brother?

Why is your hand on her face, brother?

She's being a sneaky snake.

Like, for all we know, he could have been like,

"I love my dog so much."

Or like, "You've got something in your eye."

"I love my dog so much."

Lexie, stop trying to get validation.

Tom, stop being a liar.

Stop running to Lexie when I'm not there.

It pisses me off that as soon as I'm not there or around them,

they're back on.

Do it in front of my face.

Uh, yeah. I'm excited to start cooking dinner.

This is my kind of night, actually.

Yeah, same. I like it too.

Tom and I are very much on the same page.

We are both very attracted to each other

and want to keep getting to know each other.

He's always complimenting me

and he's like making me feel very, very good on the inside.

And it's just...

He gives me the eyes and just has a way

of always making me feel good.

Get some ingredients for food.

Hey, what?

Just gonna jump in and get some ingredients for food.

-What? -Nothing.

-No. -Are you sure?

Yeah, why?

Oh, probably.

Fucking everything.

Everyday things? I don't know.

Why did you touch her face?

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Here we go.

Fucked if I know what I touched her face for.

I'm...I fucking touch everything.

I had my arm around you today.

My arm around you as well.

What are you up to, cheeky?

I can't...I honestly can't remember

what we were talking about, fuckin'...

Oh, what did I say? I don't know.

Maybe I said her outfit looks nice.

I don't fucking know. Probably. It's something, I'd say.

-Stop touching people, alright? -OK.

It'll be the last time I touch either of you two again, then.

The fuck?!

I actually cannot be fucked with this.

Cunt!

See, sometimes you've just got to fucking attack prey.

Excuse me? Don't tell her she looks nice.

You don't touch my face and give me a compliment.

I think it's like my intuition is fucking...

I know.

I don't know what Tom's playing at,

but all I know is that it takes two to tango.

If you're reading the room,

the vibes don't lie, babes.

Energy never lies.

If you're feeling that Tom and Lexie's got...

I can scope it out.

Mmm.

Scope it out, but just watch.

Just watch? OK. Be vigilant, observant.

I've been watching since day one.

I mean, I've been here like...like...like a fucking...

..you know, the clowns that are like...

That's me. That's me.

But then...

..his actions are also playing into it as well.

I know.

Tom, you know exactly what you are doing.

And he's playing a thin line right now.

He really is.

-Goon! -Are you fingering the goon?

Mug!

I'm so happy.

OK.

We've been at it all day, and we are cooked.

Oh.

So we play this game called Swamp or Swag.

Pull it down, please.

Alright, Manaaki.

Swag or swamp -

Cooper and Kyle.

Basically, if you want to sleep with that person,

you'll swag 'em.

If you don't, you'll swamp 'em.

Swamp Kyle.

Come here, Cooper!

He fucking swamped me?

Manaaki's acting like

he didn't get the best fucking blowjob of his life.

How ungrateful.

I like that.

Cooper.

Catia or Lexie?

Oh.

Lexie looks exactly like my ex

and me and my ex had the best sex.

So, yeah.

Cooper, mate. Come on, let's speak some truth now.

-Kyle. -Hmm?

Manaaki or Catia?

Miaow!

Oh!

I think Catia and I would have great sex,

but she doesn't have the one thing between her legs

that I need.

Look, I think we all know the answer to that.

Unless, of course, she pegs me,

which I wouldn't be opposed to.

Oh, fuck it. I'm gonna have to swamp you, Catia.

Everyone swamps me!

Everyone swamps...me!

Well, that's a way to get humbled

really quick, sweetheart.

Tom.

Lily or Lexie.

Oh, shush.

Here we go.

This is the one we've all been waiting for.

I know my girl's a freak in the sheets,

so I'd swag Lily and swamp Lexie.

Good answer.

-Good answer. -Yeah.

Sorry, Lex. Get in that swamp.

That's where you belong.

I can't fucking work Tom out.

This is a prime example

of your chopping and changing, babes.

Like, you are one minute telling me this

and then acting like this,

and I can't keep up.

Right.

I wish someone had've asked me Tom and someone,

because I would've loved to swamp him.

I don't need to be threatened at all.

Tom and Lexie might be flirting right in front of me,

but who's eating my pussy every night?

Him.

Goodnight, everyone.

Goodnight!

No, we're just gonna go.

Alright, go away.

They're going to christen the shag pad.

I literally don't know where I stand with Tom.

The way Tom speaks to me,

very much a sweet talker,

tells me what I want to hear,

pisses in me pocket.

And then next minute, he's all over Lily.

Look at that thing rocking!

When the RV's rockin', don't come knockin'!

Like, why do I keep doing it?

Why do I keep caring?

Why do I keep letting us have cute little conversations

about how we want to keep getting to know each other,

about how, like, we're both attracted to each other,

when you go and be all over Lily seconds later?

Like, what am I doing?

I am popping off this morning.

I'm feeling like my blood's boiling this morning.

I had probably the worst sleep

I can document to date.

I'm goon hungover, which is the worst type of hungover.

I need to reconnect with nature.

And I feel like I've been mugged off by old mate Tom.

We're in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere.

I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to do anything.

I just want to get the fuck out of here now.

My God.

OK. I think I'm OK.

Nasty!

I know.

What are we supposed to do?

You just go back to bed.

No!

Lexie is in such a mood this morning.

She's obviously upset that Tom said

he would swamp her and swag Lily,

and then he actually swagged her.

Did youse rock the RV last night?

Nice. I thought I could hear it.

-Yeah. Oh, you heard her? -Mm.

There's a lot of awkward tension today

between Lexie, Tom and Lily,

and Tom isn't helping the situation at all.

We went off like frogs in a sock.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Could see the RV rocking.

Tom seems to handle awkward situations

a lot different than normal people.

Go, go, go, go, go!

I usually would find the anal gaze quite funny,

but today I'm not in the mood for arseholes in the sky.

How was that?

-Yeah? -Yeah, I can tell.

Alright, hustle.

Yeah! Back to civilisation!

I can't wait for a shower!

Shower!

Oh, my God. I'm disgusting.

Clean clothes!

Home time.

Oh! Thank you.

Charlotte nailed the idea of a camping trip.

The family's back together,

and I'm feeling like we're united as one.

Yay! Let's keep it that way.

We're home, we're refreshed.

We're ready to go again.

The word on the street is that jelly wrestling is happening

at Gilligan's tonight!

Cheers!

Here's to jelly wrestling, watching the girls go at it.

From bush doof to wrestling in slime.

'Cause why the hell not?

Jelly wrestling, so...

Yeah.

I love jelly wrestling.

I've done jelly wrestling before.

I always win.

And I feel like

it will definitely get my mind off everything.

This is a perfect example of size doesn't matter.

Ever since last night,

I can see Lexie's head is all over the place.

She's scrambled.

She needs to do herself a favour and get it off her chest.

Oi, you fucker!

Your tit's out.

I really wanted to ask Tom how he feels now.

Every time I have a conversation

he's very, like, sweet talk.

'Cause in those moments, like,

I'm like, "Yeah, like, it's mutual."

Like, I'm like...I like...

Like, "I am attracted to you as well.

And then...and then, I'm not even taking the piss,

2.4 seconds later, he's, like, all over Lily.

And I'm like, "Do you actually mean what you say?"

Yeah.

He might be saying something to you,

but whose bed is he in every night?

That speaks volumes, doesn't it?

I would love to talk to Lily.

Like, I want to talk to her,

but at the same time, she says she doesn't care.

So I'm like, I don't want to, like, piss her off.

Her actions are saying otherwise, but.

-That's how I feel. -Yeah.

You know, you wanna pursue what you wanna pursue,

but, like, you don't wanna be treading,

like, on toes or anything like that either.

Ah, shit!

I kind of want to hide under the make-up table.

Hey, babe. How are you?

Hey.

We're just talking about, um, the Tom situation.

Why is this even a situation?

Lexie's entitled to do whatever she wants to do.

But if I were Lexie,

I'd be having a discussion with Lily

and telling her exactly where my head's at with Tom.

It's girl code. Simple.

I obviously, like,

want to talk about it with you here and stuff and stuff.

But I also don't want to piss you off for bringing it up.

I feel almost embarrassed

because he wants to do all these things,

and then literally 2.2 seconds later

he's, like, all over you and then he's off sleeping with you.

And I'm kind of just like,

I don't care that you guys are doing that,

that's completely like, I don't care,

but don't tell me those things.

Like, I'm genuinely so offput by it.

There's a pattern here.

Tom's a bit of a sweet talker.

But underneath it,

he's not trustworthy and she needs to listen to her gut.

I feel like he...

I'm the same on the outside.

I will tell people what they want to hear,

just to keep 'em around.

Yeah. Mm-hm.

Like, I feel like if it's like that, I'm like,

I don't want him to think that he can...

Just fucking do whatever he wants?

It seems...it seems so fishy. I don't like it.

Yeah, 'cause he knows... He's very sneaky with it.

It's pretty clear that Tom is sweet-talking Lexie.

Lily's clearly getting upset.

Like, it's just like, to the point where I'm like, "OK.

"Where is this going now?"

Well, that's why I'm like...

'Cause I feel like it's just going in circles.

I agree.

But, like, it's just annoying that every day, like,

he'll make little comments like that,

but it's like, doesn't actually show it.

Lily is very territorial in nature.

I understand.

I'm territorial as well.

Loyalty is a big thing.

So if Tom does want to go for Lexie,

Lily is not having it.

Simply not having it.

This is giving "I'm a man."

Come with me right now.

And I find out he's two-timing

or fucking trying to get

in a fucking little situationship with Lexie

and I'm on the side,

he's gonna fucking know about it, end of fucking story.

I just walked upstairs, right.

Lexie was talking about me and you again.

And she's not liking

how you're saying all this stuff to her,

but then you're not proving it.

From what she's saying,

she obviously wants to pursue it.

I don't give a fuck for this drama.

Why would I? I don't care.

I'm here to have fun, I'm here to meet people like Lex.

I'm here to meet people like Lily.

That's what I'm here for.

You pull me aside for petty drama,

I don't fucking care.

Well, sort your fucking shit out.

Because now I'm getting involved and it's pissing me off

and it's gonna make me off you.

I'm not lying.

Like, it's getting ridiculous, Tom.

You need to fucking pull your head in and fuckin'...

Pull my head in? What the fuck have I done?

Just say something. If it's getting to a point...

It will be fine.

Why is Lexie saying that Tom's going to her,

like, "Stay back for a drink," like...

But then as soon as I ask Tom,

he shuts it down.

Right now, I feel like I'm in the middle of both of you.

Do you not understand how that makes me feel?

I understand that. But it's not about you.

I don't know if I'm getting mugged off.

Stop worrying about that.

I really am getting really short-stringed with Tom.

I feel like he's hiding things.

But I'm just gonna say it right now, Tom...

..I know how this game works.

I know how you work. It's so fucking obvious.

I am the same on the outside.

Who doesn't want women around them?

You're feeding off it.

And I know you are. I can tell 'cause you love it.

Oi, don't...

My intuition right now,

deep down inside,

I don't think Tom is telling the truth.

There's a bit of tension.

Let's get over it and have fun.

Jelly wrestling -

that's what we're doing tonight at Gilligan's.

Let's get into it.

Please be good-looking girls there.

I'm looking forward to the girls, you know.

They're gonna have their titties out as per usual.

I wonder who is going to be the most feisty tonight?

I'm probably putting my money on Lily.

Make some fucking noise!

You ready to go?

You guys have to try take the ankle strap off each other.

Three, two, one. Let's go, let's go, let's go!

This is jelly wrestling, not jelly kissing.

It looks like we're about to start a porno in here.

Come on!

Make some noise!

The final round,

Lily versus Lexie,

the round that everybody wanted to see.

Ding, ding!

I'm the fucking queen of jelly wrestling.

I'm going to win, easy.

It's not that hard. She's tiny.

I'm nearly six foot compared to her.

Here we go. Get ready for it. Come on!

Look, I might be tiny,

but I'm fucking mighty

and you do not for a second

get to underestimate me.

Fuck me sideways.

It doesn't get better than this.

I fucking love it.

I think Tom is secretly, like, sitting there,

probably having a little wank off

with, you know, two girls fighting over him.

I won jelly wrestling!

Me, yep, Lily won jelly wrestling.

I told you, I'm a professional.

I always win.

Oh, good job, girls. That was a fucking...

That was a fucking good show.

Con and I are hot and cold.

Right now, we're hot.

He just makes me feel seen,

which I love.

I want you to play with me tonight.

I want you to touch me.

I'm loving life.

-Yeah. -Yeah?

The time's come.

I want to gauge if Tom still feels

the same way as he felt a few days ago

and it's time for me and him to have a chat.

In the corner of my eye I see Lexie and Tom chatting.

What the fuck is happening right behind us?

And I can already feel Lily.

She ain't gonna be happy about this.

But I'm not letting it ruin my night, cunt.

I know.

-Let's go.

I think Lily's really upset

because she clearly cares for Tom.

And as much as she wants to say that she doesn't have feelings,

there's feelings.

Lily has a terrible poker face.

Tom and Lexie having this chat

is clearly getting to her.

She's trying to hide her emotions,

but it's written all over her face.

My brain's going 100 miles an hour right now,

and I feel like I'm just watching it all play out.

And I'm watching my feelings get played with.

I've hit a bit of a roadblock.

I am so fucking attracted to Lexie.

But I'll only sleep with one girl at a time.

So now it's either

keep the friends with benefits going with Lily

or end that and pursue things with Lexie.

But Lily is a bit of a freak in the sheets.

So I don't know if I can just walk away from that.

Yeah, I'm torn.

If looks could fucking kill right now.

Don't come and dance with me.

Don't try, "What's up? What's wrong?"

Are you serious?

Fuckin' hell.

Lily is giving me nothing,

and I'm over this bullshit drama.

I cannot be fucked with this shit anymore.

I'm here to have fun and I'm here to let loose.

Not to be made to feel like shit

for doing exactly that.

Alright, here we go. Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo!

Let me take a whiz. Maybe I can wee out all how I feel.

Oh, chippies!

Oh! I love some...

I love some...

-It's too dry. -Do you want to talk?

Do you want to talk or not?

Lily and Tom,

oh, there's something off about them right now.

This is the first night

that they aren't all over each other,

going straight to the shag pad.

Oh! I don't know what's gonna happen.

If you're going to crack onto her, just fucking tell me.

Lil...

I just don't like this.

Don't like what?

I have told you I don't like drama

because I don't like putting my energy into this

when I can put my energy into other things.

I'm sick of everything that's going on in the background.

I just want to pull away.

So I think Lily and I

just need to pump the brakes on the sleeping together.

I only want to be friends with her.

No benefits.

For me, right now the situation is

I want to pull away,

because if someone tries to fucking crack onto me,

anyone in this house, or crack onto you,

there's no drama because there's no feelings with us.

We're friends.

We said from the start

that there's no emotions involved.

We should be allowed to pursue other people if we want to.

We're not chained to each other.

Has she said, "Stop fucking her"?

No, she has not.

But what I'm saying is

I'll put my energy into us being friends.

And that's what I want.

I want our friendship to remain.

Everything else, whatever.

Like, I'm literally shocked

that every single time he tells me, it's fine,

and now all of a sudden, now it's not.

Go have fun.

Do what you got to fucking do.

I'm not making myself feel stupid, look stupid,

over a boy who doesn't give a fuck, at the end of the day.

Now I'm hurt.

Now I'm angry.

They can have each other.

I'm done.

Tom and Lexie haven't even waited five minutes

and they are already getting on it.

If I was in Tom's position

and Lily had just caught me on a date with another girl,

I would be on a plane so fast

you didn't even see me go.

Whoo!

I'm done.

I can't be fucked anymore. This is fucking stupid.

I'm fucking done with this shit.

Fuckin', I just can't do it anymore.

This is one of the most fucked up things

I've ever been a part of.

I'm so drunk that I'm embarrassed.

-Don't be embarrassed, cunt.