Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,905 --> 00:00:10,532
[Milo] Hey, Roman,
are you sleeping?
2
00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:12,784
Yes.
3
00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:15,078
[Milo] Okay, cool.
4
00:00:15,787 --> 00:00:16,872
Hey, Roman?
5
00:00:17,789 --> 00:00:20,250
- What? [sighs]
- Is the monster gone?
6
00:00:20,876 --> 00:00:23,711
[sighs] We've talked
about this, okay?
7
00:00:23,712 --> 00:00:26,590
There is no monster!
8
00:00:28,675 --> 00:00:30,761
Why'd you scream? You scared me.
9
00:00:31,344 --> 00:00:35,097
I scared you? [scoffs] Look,
tha... that's it, okay?
10
00:00:35,098 --> 00:00:37,809
I'm too old to be living with
a kid who believes in monsters.
11
00:00:38,310 --> 00:00:40,312
Remember what Gladys at
the dry cleaners said?
12
00:00:40,771 --> 00:00:42,229
That's the most ketchup
she's ever cleaned out
13
00:00:42,230 --> 00:00:43,356
of a young man's pants?
14
00:00:44,357 --> 00:00:46,443
Exactly. "A young man."
15
00:00:46,902 --> 00:00:48,528
And a young man,
needs his own room.
16
00:00:48,862 --> 00:00:50,572
N... I'm talking to Mom and Dad.
17
00:00:56,286 --> 00:00:57,454
Well, that's new.
18
00:01:01,458 --> 00:01:03,418
Oh, hey, kid. Is
this the Russo house?
19
00:01:03,835 --> 00:01:05,336
What are you doing in my mirror?
20
00:01:05,337 --> 00:01:07,506
That's how we get
places. I'm a wizard.
21
00:01:07,798 --> 00:01:09,216
Where's your robe
and pointy hat?
22
00:01:09,674 --> 00:01:12,344
[chuckles] Let me clarify.
I'm a wizard with style.
23
00:01:18,350 --> 00:01:20,190
[female voice] Billie,
we can't go in that way.
24
00:01:21,353 --> 00:01:23,063
Wait! Who else is in there?
25
00:01:23,980 --> 00:01:25,420
Should I be changing
in the bathroom?
26
00:01:26,942 --> 00:01:28,734
- Okay, Milo.
- Roman.
27
00:01:28,735 --> 00:01:30,194
There's something
I gotta tell you.
28
00:01:30,195 --> 00:01:33,740
Me first, okay? [inhales]
Maybe I flew off the handle.
29
00:01:34,115 --> 00:01:35,533
Not gonna move out.
30
00:01:35,534 --> 00:01:38,911
But promise me, no more
crazy made-up stories.
31
00:01:38,912 --> 00:01:43,250
- There's a wizard in our mirror!
- Dad, I need my own room!
32
00:01:45,710 --> 00:01:46,961
[theme song playing]
33
00:01:46,962 --> 00:01:49,880
{\an8}? Everything is
not what it seems ?
34
00:01:49,881 --> 00:01:51,757
{\an8}? When you can have
what you want ?
35
00:01:51,758 --> 00:01:53,510
{\an8}? By the simplest of means ?
36
00:01:53,718 --> 00:01:56,679
{\an8}? Be careful not to mess
with the balance of things ?
37
00:01:56,680 --> 00:02:01,308
{\an8}? Because everything
is not what it seems ?
38
00:02:01,309 --> 00:02:03,435
? You might run into trouble
if you go to extremes ?
39
00:02:03,436 --> 00:02:06,314
? Because everything
is not what it seems ?
40
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,108
? Yes, please ?
41
00:02:10,110 --> 00:02:11,830
- ? What it seems ?
- [theme song concludes]
42
00:02:18,243 --> 00:02:20,120
{\an8}Oh! Hey there, good looking.
43
00:02:21,454 --> 00:02:22,580
{\an8}[exhales] Why, yes.
44
00:02:22,581 --> 00:02:26,376
{\an8}It is my birthday
today. Yeah, 34.
45
00:02:26,835 --> 00:02:27,836
[grunts]
46
00:02:29,629 --> 00:02:31,798
Oh, you think the J-Man's
still got it? [exhales]
47
00:02:32,549 --> 00:02:35,926
{\an8}- I think you still got it.
- [gasps, laughs] Giada.
48
00:02:35,927 --> 00:02:38,263
[inhales] You're
awake. That's fun.
49
00:02:39,806 --> 00:02:41,349
Happy birthday, J-Man.
50
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:43,934
You remembered my birthday.
51
00:02:43,935 --> 00:02:45,060
{\an8}How could I forget?
52
00:02:45,061 --> 00:02:47,147
{\an8}You sent me four
calendar invites.
53
00:02:48,064 --> 00:02:50,107
{\an8}Well, you do know that
coordinating family logistics
54
00:02:50,108 --> 00:02:51,943
{\an8}- is my love language.
- [laughs]
55
00:02:52,485 --> 00:02:54,988
Gross! Get a room!
56
00:02:55,572 --> 00:02:56,740
This is our room.
57
00:02:58,033 --> 00:03:00,284
Hey, guys! Anything you
wanna say to me today?
58
00:03:00,285 --> 00:03:03,330
Oh, thank you for asking.
I need my own room.
59
00:03:03,830 --> 00:03:06,416
No, like anything you
want to, uh, wish me?
60
00:03:06,791 --> 00:03:09,336
I wish you would
give me my own room.
61
00:03:11,296 --> 00:03:13,256
{\an8}Look what I woke
up to this morning.
62
00:03:13,548 --> 00:03:15,257
{\an8}It's so the monster in
the closet will think
63
00:03:15,258 --> 00:03:17,218
{\an8}I'm a monster and
go after Roman.
64
00:03:17,969 --> 00:03:19,804
Savage. Gets that from my side.
65
00:03:21,431 --> 00:03:24,099
{\an8}Mom, don't encourage him.
You should be telling him
66
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:25,769
{\an8}there's no such
thing as monsters.
67
00:03:26,019 --> 00:03:27,311
{\an8}Back me up on this, Dad.
68
00:03:27,312 --> 00:03:28,646
{\an8}Absolutely, buddy.
69
00:03:28,647 --> 00:03:30,689
{\an8}There is no such
thing as monsters.
70
00:03:30,690 --> 00:03:32,191
{\an8}And I should know,
'cause I was not
71
00:03:32,192 --> 00:03:33,632
{\an8}a monster hunter
when I was your age.
72
00:03:34,027 --> 00:03:35,277
{\an8}You were a monster hunter?
73
00:03:35,278 --> 00:03:38,322
{\an8}No! No, I was very clear
when I said I was not
74
00:03:38,323 --> 00:03:40,282
{\an8}a monster hunter, okay?
I couldn't have been,
75
00:03:40,283 --> 00:03:41,368
because I'm not a wizard.
76
00:03:42,827 --> 00:03:45,108
[chuckles, inhales deeply]
What are we even talking about?
77
00:03:45,664 --> 00:03:49,334
Is Dad having a midlife crisis?
Are you getting a tattoo?
78
00:03:49,626 --> 00:03:50,669
Ooh, are you?
79
00:03:51,586 --> 00:03:53,253
- No, and I am not midlife...
- M'kay.
80
00:03:53,254 --> 00:03:54,881
Guys, I turned 34 today.
81
00:03:55,131 --> 00:03:56,132
It's your birthday?
82
00:03:57,634 --> 00:03:59,874
Be honest with me, does no
one check the family calendar?
83
00:03:59,928 --> 00:04:02,179
We all love the calendar, big
fans of the calendar. Okay.
84
00:04:02,180 --> 00:04:05,141
Boys, go get dressed. I think
your dad needs a moment.
85
00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:08,644
Listen, don't freak out,
86
00:04:08,645 --> 00:04:10,414
but I got you a little
surprise for your birthday.
87
00:04:10,438 --> 00:04:11,773
But... I don't like surprises.
88
00:04:11,982 --> 00:04:13,222
Oh, you're gonna like this one.
89
00:04:14,693 --> 00:04:16,610
Okay, I can handle this.
Maybe liking surprises
90
00:04:16,611 --> 00:04:18,487
will be a new thing
for me. Yeah, yeah.
91
00:04:18,488 --> 00:04:20,490
[inhales] Oh, who
am I kidding? Giada!
92
00:04:25,328 --> 00:04:26,496
Let's just go in this way.
93
00:04:27,831 --> 00:04:29,751
[female voice] No, we have
to use the front door.
94
00:04:30,208 --> 00:04:32,328
[scoffs] Like a mortal? Aw,
man, nobody better see me.
95
00:04:35,964 --> 00:04:39,009
Giada! Hey, um, uh, yeah...
96
00:04:39,551 --> 00:04:42,094
Giada, why... why don't you
tell me what it is, okay?
97
00:04:42,095 --> 00:04:43,512
And you'll be like, "Surprise!"
98
00:04:43,513 --> 00:04:46,098
And then I'll be like, "No
freaking way!" [chuckles]
99
00:04:46,099 --> 00:04:48,101
- Gia... Huh?
- [doorbell rings]
100
00:04:51,229 --> 00:04:53,589
Look who's using the front door
just like one of you people.
101
00:04:55,567 --> 00:04:56,568
Surprise!
102
00:05:02,198 --> 00:05:03,616
No freaking way.
103
00:05:04,159 --> 00:05:06,619
I know, I look
fantastic, don't I?
104
00:05:07,871 --> 00:05:09,956
Alex, [stammers] are you
here for my birthday?
105
00:05:10,457 --> 00:05:13,876
It's your... It... uh... It's
your birthday! That's why...
106
00:05:13,877 --> 00:05:15,377
- That's why I came, you know?
- [Justin] Aw.
107
00:05:15,378 --> 00:05:17,298
That's why we're here. We
came for your birthday.
108
00:05:19,382 --> 00:05:21,508
You dragged me here for
your brother's birthday?
109
00:05:21,509 --> 00:05:22,885
No, I brought you here,
110
00:05:22,886 --> 00:05:24,554
so you can meet your
new wizard teacher.
111
00:05:24,763 --> 00:05:27,265
I don't need a new teacher.
They never believe in me anyway.
112
00:05:27,515 --> 00:05:30,476
[inhales] Well, this one will.
He's the best I've ever known.
113
00:05:30,477 --> 00:05:32,187
- [sighs]
- Annoyingly. But...
114
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:33,937
I just have to find
a way to ask him.
115
00:05:33,938 --> 00:05:35,440
He can be a little high-strung.
116
00:05:35,648 --> 00:05:37,025
Did you guys track this dirt in?
117
00:05:40,153 --> 00:05:41,654
Okay, a lot high-strung.
118
00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:46,325
So, you're the guy who owns
all the sandwich shops?
119
00:05:46,326 --> 00:05:47,410
Like, the billionaire?
120
00:05:47,660 --> 00:05:49,495
Uh, no. That would be Max.
121
00:05:49,496 --> 00:05:51,205
I'm a middle school vice
principal, which some
122
00:05:51,206 --> 00:05:53,415
would say is much cooler
than being a billionaire.
123
00:05:53,416 --> 00:05:55,176
- Nobody says that.
- I would never say that.
124
00:05:56,836 --> 00:05:59,005
Uh, and Alex, who is this?
125
00:05:59,297 --> 00:06:03,009
Oh, um, this is Billie.
She's... with me.
126
00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:05,595
Well, that clears everything up.
127
00:06:07,222 --> 00:06:09,598
- Aunt Alex!
- Oh, my gosh! Hi, guys!
128
00:06:09,599 --> 00:06:12,643
How are you? I
bought you presents.
129
00:06:12,644 --> 00:06:14,186
Because I'm the coolest
aunt, like ever.
130
00:06:14,187 --> 00:06:15,688
- [Roman] Oh! Shirts.
- So...
131
00:06:16,856 --> 00:06:18,566
- [Roman] Straight outta WizTech.
- Alex.
132
00:06:19,150 --> 00:06:20,568
Can I speak with you in private?
133
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:26,241
That's the wizard
girl from our mirror.
134
00:06:26,616 --> 00:06:27,896
Dude, you're gonna
weird her out.
135
00:06:29,035 --> 00:06:30,835
Hey, what kind of mileage
does this thing get?
136
00:06:32,372 --> 00:06:34,082
Okay, maybe she's
gonna weird us out.
137
00:06:36,459 --> 00:06:37,669
Uh, what are these?
138
00:06:38,002 --> 00:06:39,879
Uh, hilarious novelty tees.
139
00:06:41,214 --> 00:06:42,339
About wizards.
140
00:06:42,340 --> 00:06:45,884
- Well, we are wizards.
- [shushes]
141
00:06:45,885 --> 00:06:47,929
Okay, we're talking
over here now.
142
00:06:49,514 --> 00:06:51,349
Remember how the
last time we talked,
143
00:06:51,641 --> 00:06:53,559
you asked me when I was going
to tell Giada and the kids
144
00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,103
that I was from a
family of wizards?
145
00:06:55,478 --> 00:06:58,398
- Yeah.
- Well, I kinda sort of haven't.
146
00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:01,401
You're still lying to your
family, Justin? I'm...
147
00:07:02,277 --> 00:07:03,403
I'm so proud of you.
148
00:07:05,155 --> 00:07:07,531
I'm not lying, Alex.
Technically, I'm not a wizard.
149
00:07:07,532 --> 00:07:09,741
Okay? Anymore. I
haven't picked up a wand
150
00:07:09,742 --> 00:07:10,994
since I got fired from WizTech.
151
00:07:11,411 --> 00:07:13,328
Oh... Yeah. The
unicorn incident.
152
00:07:13,329 --> 00:07:15,164
- That was hilarious... Awful.
- Awful!
153
00:07:15,165 --> 00:07:17,709
It was so awful. That's
what I was trying to say.
154
00:07:18,042 --> 00:07:22,172
Uh, but don't you miss it?
You know, teaching wizards?
155
00:07:22,922 --> 00:07:25,884
[scoffs] No. I don't even
think about it every day.
156
00:07:28,011 --> 00:07:29,804
- You just said every day.
- Yes, I didn't.
157
00:07:32,515 --> 00:07:34,475
Look, okay? Just
while you're here,
158
00:07:34,893 --> 00:07:37,644
no talk about magic and
no wizard talk, okay?
159
00:07:37,645 --> 00:07:41,482
Fine. What exactly does your
family think I do for a living?
160
00:07:41,816 --> 00:07:42,859
Professional dog walker.
161
00:07:45,612 --> 00:07:48,239
I want to be offended,
but I do love dogs, so...
162
00:07:49,073 --> 00:07:50,673
All right, fine. I
won't blow your cover.
163
00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:53,410
Thank you. And what about
Billie? Is she cool?
164
00:07:53,411 --> 00:07:54,537
I promise.
165
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:57,766
Billie definitely won't say
anything about being a wizard.
166
00:07:57,790 --> 00:07:58,833
I'm a wizard!
167
00:08:01,252 --> 00:08:03,963
- I told you.
- Milo, she's not a wizard.
168
00:08:04,255 --> 00:08:05,535
I know you didn't just say that.
169
00:08:06,549 --> 00:08:07,829
There's no such
thing as wizards.
170
00:08:08,801 --> 00:08:10,241
And I know you did
not just say that.
171
00:08:10,345 --> 00:08:12,095
It's not personal.
He doesn't believe me
172
00:08:12,096 --> 00:08:13,847
about the monster in
our closet either.
173
00:08:13,848 --> 00:08:15,516
Uh... Because
monsters aren't real,
174
00:08:15,892 --> 00:08:17,268
just like wizards aren't real.
175
00:08:17,518 --> 00:08:19,520
Okay, smart guy, show
me your closet then.
176
00:08:19,854 --> 00:08:22,439
Fine, but all that's
gonna prove is that I have
177
00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:23,733
great taste in cardigans.
178
00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,696
There it is. There's the closet.
179
00:08:29,697 --> 00:08:30,906
Open it up.
180
00:08:30,907 --> 00:08:33,367
This is your dumb
thing. You open it.
181
00:08:33,368 --> 00:08:36,246
I'm not opening it.
I like being alive.
182
00:08:37,038 --> 00:08:39,207
Well, guess you're both
too scared to open it.
183
00:08:39,457 --> 00:08:41,459
I am. Thought I was
clear about that.
184
00:08:42,627 --> 00:08:43,962
Hey, fine, I'll open it.
185
00:08:45,964 --> 00:08:47,775
[softly] From the place
where dark beasts dwell,
186
00:08:47,799 --> 00:08:49,550
I summon a floogie
with this spell.
187
00:08:50,718 --> 00:08:53,178
Get ready to not
see... [screams]
188
00:08:53,179 --> 00:08:55,640
- [growls]
- [screams]
189
00:08:57,809 --> 00:08:59,310
Why are you laughing?!
190
00:08:59,644 --> 00:09:02,563
Because, you said
monsters aren't real,
191
00:09:02,814 --> 00:09:05,817
so I conjured one, 'cause
I'm a wizard, ahwandra.
192
00:09:06,901 --> 00:09:08,820
[growling and grumbling]
193
00:09:09,904 --> 00:09:12,407
Please tell me there's a
spell to make it go away.
194
00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:14,951
There is, I just don't know it.
195
00:09:17,036 --> 00:09:18,913
You don't know how
to send it back?
196
00:09:19,163 --> 00:09:20,622
Then why did you conjure it?
197
00:09:20,623 --> 00:09:23,103
- 'Cause you said I couldn't.
- You can't argue with the logic.
198
00:09:24,794 --> 00:09:26,212
- [growls]
- [shushes]
199
00:09:27,964 --> 00:09:29,048
I don't hear anything.
200
00:09:31,676 --> 00:09:34,429
See? Uh, maybe the monster
went away on its own?
201
00:09:34,804 --> 00:09:37,056
Yeah, that definitely
happens. Go check it out.
202
00:09:40,226 --> 00:09:41,894
- [growls]
- [screams]
203
00:09:43,271 --> 00:09:46,023
[laughs] You checked it
out? What is wrong with you?
204
00:09:46,024 --> 00:09:48,150
Me? We didn't have a monster
205
00:09:48,151 --> 00:09:50,068
in the closet until
you came along!
206
00:09:50,069 --> 00:09:52,196
- Actually...
- Not now, Milo!
207
00:09:56,242 --> 00:09:57,409
My dad cannot find out
208
00:09:57,410 --> 00:09:58,887
there's a monster
running around the house.
209
00:09:58,911 --> 00:10:00,121
- It'll...
- Ruin his birthday.
210
00:10:01,664 --> 00:10:04,250
His birthday? If Justin Russo
finds out wizards are real,
211
00:10:04,542 --> 00:10:06,586
- his head's gonna explode!
- Cool.
212
00:10:07,587 --> 00:10:09,297
Why did you bring
that... that...
213
00:10:09,547 --> 00:10:11,006
- Floogie.
- That floogie here,
214
00:10:11,007 --> 00:10:12,257
if you couldn't get rid of it?
215
00:10:12,258 --> 00:10:13,633
'Cause I didn't know I
couldn't get rid of it
216
00:10:13,634 --> 00:10:14,802
until I brought it here.
217
00:10:16,179 --> 00:10:18,473
You need to go back
to... wizard school.
218
00:10:18,890 --> 00:10:20,410
Well, I can't, 'cause
I got kicked out.
219
00:10:21,893 --> 00:10:24,103
It's not my fault my
teachers don't believe in me.
220
00:10:24,354 --> 00:10:26,356
But I don't need them.
I don't need anyone.
221
00:10:26,564 --> 00:10:28,024
We definitely need someone.
222
00:10:30,860 --> 00:10:33,153
No, we don't. I can fix this.
223
00:10:33,154 --> 00:10:34,781
I'll get rid of
the floogie myself.
224
00:10:35,782 --> 00:10:36,783
Please.
225
00:10:37,241 --> 00:10:39,117
All right, fine.
But if that thing
226
00:10:39,118 --> 00:10:40,758
poops in the house,
you're cleaning it up.
227
00:10:41,704 --> 00:10:43,584
Oh, they don't poop. They
flarf. It's way worse.
228
00:10:46,876 --> 00:10:49,754
So, hypothetically, yeah, I use
words like hypothetically now,
229
00:10:51,005 --> 00:10:52,923
what would you say if
someone were to ask you
230
00:10:52,924 --> 00:10:54,133
to go back to teaching magic?
231
00:10:54,467 --> 00:10:56,052
Alex, what is this all about?
232
00:10:56,594 --> 00:11:00,055
Oh! Sorry I took so long.
Mr. Kopecky from next door
233
00:11:00,056 --> 00:11:02,350
forced me to look at
pictures of his grandson.
234
00:11:02,558 --> 00:11:04,935
Now, I would never say
that a baby is ugly,
235
00:11:04,936 --> 00:11:06,854
but this baby, it
looks like a foot.
236
00:11:08,731 --> 00:11:10,482
- Alex! [scoffs]
- Hey, Giada.
237
00:11:10,483 --> 00:11:11,692
What are you doing here?
238
00:11:13,236 --> 00:11:15,028
Giada, come on. I know that
Alex is my birthday surprise.
239
00:11:15,029 --> 00:11:16,405
Whoa, babe, I would
never ambush you
240
00:11:16,406 --> 00:11:17,726
with family and
call it a present.
241
00:11:18,282 --> 00:11:19,909
So, Alex, how's work?
242
00:11:20,159 --> 00:11:22,328
Uh, work's great. I'm
on the Tribunal now.
243
00:11:22,745 --> 00:11:26,290
- You're on the Tribunal?
- There's a dog-walking tribunal?
244
00:11:27,458 --> 00:11:28,960
Yeah. Yeah, they were like,
245
00:11:29,460 --> 00:11:33,463
"Alex, there are some pretty
bad dogs out there, and...
246
00:11:33,464 --> 00:11:35,800
and you're the only
one that can help."
247
00:11:36,634 --> 00:11:38,886
Oh, you're the
only one, huh? You?
248
00:11:40,138 --> 00:11:41,930
Yeah. Why is it so
hard to believe?
249
00:11:41,931 --> 00:11:43,307
I mean, I am the family...
250
00:11:44,142 --> 00:11:45,226
dog walker.
251
00:11:46,644 --> 00:11:48,684
But I practically taught
you how to walk those dogs.
252
00:11:49,021 --> 00:11:51,189
If anyone should have been
on the Tribunal, we both know
253
00:11:51,190 --> 00:11:52,567
that it should have been moi.
254
00:11:54,068 --> 00:11:55,986
Okay. Well, if you wanted to
make the Tribunal so badly,
255
00:11:55,987 --> 00:11:57,707
maybe you shouldn't
have hung up your leash.
256
00:11:57,822 --> 00:11:59,448
Okay, you know, well,
this is getting awkward.
257
00:11:59,449 --> 00:12:01,742
Is anybody thirsty? I'm not,
but I'm gonna leave anyway.
258
00:12:03,661 --> 00:12:05,036
Dude, what's your problem?
259
00:12:05,037 --> 00:12:07,331
I thought you were happy
you left wizarding behind.
260
00:12:07,582 --> 00:12:11,377
I am, okay? I like my quiet,
predictable, no surprises life.
261
00:12:11,752 --> 00:12:14,422
Then why are you acting like
you have flarf for brains?
262
00:12:15,089 --> 00:12:17,550
First, we don't use that kind
of language in this house.
263
00:12:19,552 --> 00:12:22,054
And second, if you're
not my birthday surprise,
264
00:12:22,388 --> 00:12:23,598
what are you doing here, Alex?
265
00:12:25,141 --> 00:12:28,685
Okay fine. Um, Billie is one of
the most extraordinary wizards
266
00:12:28,686 --> 00:12:30,806
- I've ever met. But she needs...
- [glass shattering]
267
00:12:31,731 --> 00:12:32,732
What was that?
268
00:12:34,942 --> 00:12:36,527
[gasps] Giada!
269
00:12:39,030 --> 00:12:41,699
[gasps, grunts]
270
00:12:42,742 --> 00:12:44,035
This looks like
a floogie freeze.
271
00:12:45,495 --> 00:12:47,370
Oh, look at you remembering
your class-three monsters.
272
00:12:47,371 --> 00:12:49,206
- Just like old times. When we were little, I used...
- Oh, no.
273
00:12:49,207 --> 00:12:52,293
No, no, no, no, no. No. You
said you wouldn't do magic.
274
00:12:52,543 --> 00:12:54,045
- I didn't do this. It...
- [sighs]
275
00:12:54,712 --> 00:12:56,672
- Billie...
- This is classic Alex.
276
00:12:57,089 --> 00:12:59,007
You're here for five minutes
and I got a floogie infestation,
277
00:12:59,008 --> 00:13:00,551
and just look at
my beautiful wife!
278
00:13:03,095 --> 00:13:06,641
I'll handle this. After all,
I am the family dog walker.
279
00:13:08,684 --> 00:13:11,603
The only way to unfreeze her is to banish
the floogie back where it came from.
280
00:13:11,604 --> 00:13:15,650
I know, but thank you for the
refresher because... I forgot.
281
00:13:18,486 --> 00:13:20,946
Whatever you do, do
not look the floogie
282
00:13:20,947 --> 00:13:22,615
right in the eye,
or he'll freeze you.
283
00:13:22,865 --> 00:13:25,493
Which one? The thing's
90 percent eyes!
284
00:13:25,743 --> 00:13:28,412
- [groans, chews loudly]
- It's over there!
285
00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:33,751
He's eating the couch!
286
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:35,586
Dad won't even let
us eat on the couch!
287
00:13:36,587 --> 00:13:37,713
[growls]
288
00:13:39,131 --> 00:13:42,093
- [Milo] Roman, look out!
- [growls, grumbles]
289
00:13:43,844 --> 00:13:46,973
- Milo!
- He saved you.
290
00:13:47,598 --> 00:13:50,309
Well, we're Russos. Russos
always have each other's backs.
291
00:13:51,394 --> 00:13:53,234
So, you would have done
the same thing for him?
292
00:13:54,188 --> 00:13:56,816
I would have...
strongly considered it.
293
00:13:57,900 --> 00:14:00,444
[sighs] We should hide him
until I can banish the floogie.
294
00:14:00,695 --> 00:14:02,571
I think if your parents
saw their son frozen solid,
295
00:14:02,572 --> 00:14:03,698
it'd be pretty upsetting.
296
00:14:03,990 --> 00:14:05,491
Do you? Do you think that?
297
00:14:06,826 --> 00:14:08,266
What are we gonna
do about the couch?
298
00:14:10,329 --> 00:14:11,872
- Oh, nice.
- Let's go.
299
00:14:17,128 --> 00:14:18,878
[whispers indistinctly]
Where are we hiding the kid?
300
00:14:18,879 --> 00:14:20,922
An infinity pocket?
Bottomless bag?
301
00:14:20,923 --> 00:14:23,009
You know, I can open a
portal to the Nowhere Zone.
302
00:14:23,426 --> 00:14:24,718
I'm not sending
my little brother
303
00:14:24,719 --> 00:14:26,759
to the Nowhere Zone. He's
got a field trip tomorrow.
304
00:14:27,972 --> 00:14:29,223
Help me put him on the bike.
305
00:14:38,858 --> 00:14:41,277
- A helmet? Really?
- It's the law!
306
00:14:45,031 --> 00:14:47,825
All right, Giada, we're
almost there. [pants]
307
00:14:48,284 --> 00:14:51,620
[whispers] There we go.
[grunts] Okay. Sorry.
308
00:14:51,621 --> 00:14:56,083
That's... [pants]
Oh! Hey, g... guys.
309
00:14:56,834 --> 00:14:58,919
I didn't know you were...
[pants] ...out here.
310
00:14:59,128 --> 00:15:04,007
Oh, yeah, I was just showing
Billie the water heater.
311
00:15:04,008 --> 00:15:06,093
- Yeah.
- And I was just...
312
00:15:06,344 --> 00:15:09,138
I was just carrying
whatever's under this blanket.
313
00:15:09,388 --> 00:15:13,058
[laughs awkwardly]
Well, that is some very
314
00:15:13,059 --> 00:15:16,186
normal behavior
from the both of us.
315
00:15:16,187 --> 00:15:18,230
- [chuckles]
- [inhales sharply] Ta-ta.
316
00:15:19,982 --> 00:15:22,401
Uh, Roman, just real quick, bud.
317
00:15:22,943 --> 00:15:25,111
You haven't seen anything,
like, weird going on
318
00:15:25,112 --> 00:15:26,489
around here today, have you?
319
00:15:27,156 --> 00:15:31,869
Uh... No, no, no,
no, nothing weird.
320
00:15:32,036 --> 00:15:34,288
Just the regular
old boring Russos.
321
00:15:34,747 --> 00:15:36,791
No reason for you to
get worked up, Dad.
322
00:15:37,375 --> 00:15:39,519
Wait, wait, wait, you're saying
we're boring? You think we're boring?
323
00:15:39,543 --> 00:15:41,462
Oh, yeah, totally,
totally the boring-est.
324
00:15:42,338 --> 00:15:44,339
Maybe I could stand to use
a little excitement in life.
325
00:15:44,340 --> 00:15:47,050
Well, well, you are
not gonna find it here,
326
00:15:47,051 --> 00:15:50,221
because our house
is boring central.
327
00:15:51,263 --> 00:15:54,433
[yawns] See, I'm getting
bored just talking about it.
328
00:15:55,184 --> 00:15:56,894
[sniffs] See ya.
329
00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:03,984
Not there. Not there.
330
00:16:05,945 --> 00:16:09,323
Not there. [gasps]
There you are.
331
00:16:12,284 --> 00:16:14,537
I guess I could start
looking for the floogie now.
332
00:16:19,125 --> 00:16:21,669
- Oh, hi, Alex. Bye, Alex.
- No, no.
333
00:16:22,712 --> 00:16:26,214
I knew it. You had something
to do with the floogie.
334
00:16:26,215 --> 00:16:27,799
This is just like
when you put a curse
335
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,385
on Professor
Dinklebot's toothbrush.
336
00:16:30,386 --> 00:16:33,555
[laughs] He was shaving
his tongue for a month.
337
00:16:33,556 --> 00:16:35,140
- [laughs] That was hilarious.
- I know!
338
00:16:35,141 --> 00:16:38,185
But no! This is not
a laughing matter.
339
00:16:38,686 --> 00:16:41,230
Oh, you made me sound
like my mother. Billie,
340
00:16:42,022 --> 00:16:44,608
Justin is not gonna teach you if
he thinks that you're trouble.
341
00:16:45,276 --> 00:16:47,820
- Sounds like a win-win to me.
- You don't get it.
342
00:16:48,821 --> 00:16:50,364
This is your last chance.
343
00:16:51,157 --> 00:16:52,907
The Tribunal thinks
that you're dangerous
344
00:16:52,908 --> 00:16:54,159
and they wanna take your wand.
345
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,327
But that's not fair.
I'm a great wizard.
346
00:16:56,328 --> 00:16:59,123
You're a powerful wizard.
There's a difference.
347
00:16:59,832 --> 00:17:02,333
I'm not dangerous, and I'll
prove it. I can fix this.
348
00:17:02,334 --> 00:17:06,046
Just stay out of the way. You've
done quite enough, young lady.
349
00:17:06,714 --> 00:17:08,382
Who am I right now?
350
00:17:11,886 --> 00:17:13,428
Hey, where are you going?
351
00:17:13,429 --> 00:17:15,431
I'm going upstairs
to find that floogie.
352
00:17:16,682 --> 00:17:17,922
What do you think you're doing?
353
00:17:18,058 --> 00:17:20,644
Going with you. You
mess everything up!
354
00:17:20,936 --> 00:17:23,314
- You clearly need help!
- No, I don't!
355
00:17:23,898 --> 00:17:26,775
With magic cast by me alone, I
send thee to the Nowhere Zone.
356
00:17:26,776 --> 00:17:27,902
[screams]
357
00:17:30,654 --> 00:17:32,239
Here, floogie, floogie!
358
00:17:37,286 --> 00:17:42,791
Levitatus sofitus. Wow,
it's clean under here.
359
00:17:42,792 --> 00:17:44,876
[scoffs] What am I talking
about? We're at Justin's house.
360
00:17:44,877 --> 00:17:46,629
Of course he vacuums
under the couch.
361
00:17:49,215 --> 00:17:51,342
- [sofa thuds]
- I wasn't using magic!
362
00:17:52,676 --> 00:17:57,013
Listen, Alex. I'm sorry
that I snapped at you, okay?
363
00:17:57,014 --> 00:17:59,599
It's just, you were talking
about all the great stuff
364
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,019
you're doing, and I got jealous.
365
00:18:02,686 --> 00:18:03,854
Really? Of me?
366
00:18:04,313 --> 00:18:08,150
Yeah. You know, maybe I
do miss being a wizard.
367
00:18:09,735 --> 00:18:11,654
I'm so happy to
hear you say that.
368
00:18:12,780 --> 00:18:16,491
- Why?
- Okay, Billie is an incredibly
369
00:18:16,492 --> 00:18:19,160
powerful wizard, but
she's rebellious,
370
00:18:19,161 --> 00:18:22,665
and stubborn and sarcastic.
She has no discipline.
371
00:18:22,873 --> 00:18:24,249
[smacks lips] Sounds
like someone else I know.
372
00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:25,709
[laughs mockingly]
Like me, I get it.
373
00:18:26,126 --> 00:18:28,545
- [chuckles softly]
- But I had Dad.
374
00:18:28,546 --> 00:18:32,007
And I had you.
Billie has no one.
375
00:18:32,341 --> 00:18:34,927
Every teacher she's ever
had has given up on her.
376
00:18:36,136 --> 00:18:39,765
- It's kinda why I'm here. I'm...
- No, Alex. No.
377
00:18:40,015 --> 00:18:43,102
I mean, I... I... I... I
don't teach wizards anymore.
378
00:18:43,477 --> 00:18:45,687
Justin, you were the
youngest headmaster
379
00:18:45,688 --> 00:18:47,314
of WizTech in history.
380
00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:49,149
Yeah, and then I got fired.
381
00:18:49,483 --> 00:18:52,026
So, what? You
just hide out here
382
00:18:52,027 --> 00:18:54,280
in Staten Island and
deny who you are?
383
00:18:55,155 --> 00:18:58,075
I don't want my family to
know anything about my past.
384
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:01,620
So, you're ashamed
of being a wizard?
385
00:19:02,246 --> 00:19:05,291
No. A failure.
386
00:19:06,584 --> 00:19:08,168
- [audience sighs]
- [sighs]
387
00:19:13,424 --> 00:19:15,634
You only fail if
you give up, Justin.
388
00:19:17,803 --> 00:19:20,180
Billie needs a teacher
who believes in her.
389
00:19:21,473 --> 00:19:24,894
She needs you,
like I needed you.
390
00:19:27,605 --> 00:19:30,482
[clears throat] I don't know if
I have it in me to try again.
391
00:19:33,903 --> 00:19:34,987
[sighs]
392
00:19:37,781 --> 00:19:39,661
This couch feels two
inches further to the left.
393
00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:43,662
- [roars, grumbles]
- Billie!
394
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:46,749
[grumbles]
395
00:19:51,045 --> 00:19:53,631
Alex, there's a gigantic
floogie in my kid's room!
396
00:19:53,881 --> 00:19:57,927
Really? Where? Billie,
what did you do?
397
00:19:58,302 --> 00:20:00,930
I tried banishing it, but I only
made it bigger. Alex, please!
398
00:20:02,056 --> 00:20:04,642
I thought I could do it,
but I can't. I was wrong.
399
00:20:06,060 --> 00:20:07,820
Alex, what are you
doing!? Banish it for her!
400
00:20:09,104 --> 00:20:10,689
[roars]
401
00:20:14,860 --> 00:20:16,654
- Alex!
- [Justin] Don't! Come here!
402
00:20:17,404 --> 00:20:18,989
[roars]
403
00:20:19,949 --> 00:20:21,784
[roars]
404
00:20:22,576 --> 00:20:25,286
What are we gonna do?
Alex is the only wizard
405
00:20:25,287 --> 00:20:27,497
strong enough to banish
that thing. You do it.
406
00:20:27,498 --> 00:20:28,791
I... I can't do it.
407
00:20:29,166 --> 00:20:31,251
But Alex said you were
the best she's ever known.
408
00:20:31,585 --> 00:20:32,919
Would've been nice to
hear that from her.
409
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:35,171
[growls]
410
00:20:35,172 --> 00:20:38,383
Listen to me. You have to
do this, okay? Only you can.
411
00:20:38,384 --> 00:20:40,176
I already tried, but I failed.
412
00:20:40,177 --> 00:20:41,679
[breathes heavily]
413
00:20:43,222 --> 00:20:45,462
A wise wizard once told me,
you only fail if you give up.
414
00:20:45,599 --> 00:20:47,767
Now, what were you thinking
when you summoned it?
415
00:20:47,768 --> 00:20:49,519
Guess I just thought of
the floogie, the closet,
416
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,312
and then I said the
spell, and it was there.
417
00:20:51,313 --> 00:20:52,982
- [roars]
- [Billie screams]
418
00:20:53,857 --> 00:20:55,900
Just focus, okay?
Clear your mind.
419
00:20:55,901 --> 00:20:57,736
I told you, I can't.
420
00:20:58,612 --> 00:21:00,739
My teachers were right
not to believe in me.
421
00:21:02,533 --> 00:21:06,160
No. No, no, no. [stammers] You
just had the wrong teachers.
422
00:21:06,161 --> 00:21:09,248
Okay? Hey, you got
this, all right?
423
00:21:09,957 --> 00:21:11,542
I believe in you, okay?
424
00:21:12,626 --> 00:21:14,354
Think of the place you
wanna send the floogie.
425
00:21:14,378 --> 00:21:16,922
And repeat after me.
[inhales, exhales sharply]
426
00:21:17,923 --> 00:21:21,426
With magic strong
and words of power.
427
00:21:21,427 --> 00:21:24,555
- [growls]
- [grunts, groans]
428
00:21:24,930 --> 00:21:26,597
[growls]
429
00:21:26,598 --> 00:21:28,224
We banish you,
floogie, at this hour.
430
00:21:28,225 --> 00:21:29,350
[growls]
431
00:21:29,351 --> 00:21:30,977
We banish you,
floogie, at this hour.
432
00:21:30,978 --> 00:21:32,396
[growls]
433
00:21:34,148 --> 00:21:36,066
- [growls]
- Now, together.
434
00:21:36,442 --> 00:21:37,942
Back to the road
from whence you came,
435
00:21:37,943 --> 00:21:39,319
and never ever more remain.
436
00:21:42,698 --> 00:21:44,116
[grumbles]
437
00:21:49,580 --> 00:21:51,165
- [gasps happily]
- [gasps] We did it!
438
00:21:53,292 --> 00:21:56,378
- You did it.
- And I knew that you could.
439
00:21:58,380 --> 00:21:59,381
Justin taught me.
440
00:21:59,757 --> 00:22:01,592
Oh, thought you
don't teach anymore.
441
00:22:02,551 --> 00:22:04,343
Wait, did you let yourself
get frozen on purpose
442
00:22:04,344 --> 00:22:05,720
so I'd have to step
in and instruct her,
443
00:22:05,721 --> 00:22:07,264
thus rediscovering
my love of teaching?
444
00:22:08,390 --> 00:22:10,559
That would've been a
really smart plan. [laughs]
445
00:22:10,809 --> 00:22:12,226
Well, and I don't know
if you did or you didn't.
446
00:22:12,227 --> 00:22:14,104
[smacks lips] That's
just the way I want it.
447
00:22:18,650 --> 00:22:20,359
I was hanging on
my bike forever.
448
00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:22,988
I'm gonna have to put
lotion on my tender parts.
449
00:22:24,114 --> 00:22:25,991
She trapped me in
the Nowhere Zone.
450
00:22:26,450 --> 00:22:27,993
I saw things I can't forget.
451
00:22:28,535 --> 00:22:30,954
They don't have a lotion
for your brain, Milo.
452
00:22:31,872 --> 00:22:32,956
Actually, they do.
453
00:22:34,166 --> 00:22:34,833
But the worm that makes
it has to crawl in
454
00:22:34,834 --> 00:22:36,001
through your earhole.
455
00:22:37,669 --> 00:22:40,130
But for real, thanks
for trying to help me.
456
00:22:40,714 --> 00:22:42,341
Thanks for saving my family.
457
00:22:43,634 --> 00:22:45,051
I mean, you are the one
that put them in danger,
458
00:22:45,052 --> 00:22:47,096
but... thanks.
459
00:22:48,388 --> 00:22:50,349
It was so weird. I...
I'm in the kitchen,
460
00:22:50,557 --> 00:22:51,766
and the next thing I know,
461
00:22:51,767 --> 00:22:53,559
I'm in the garage with
a blanket over my head.
462
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,938
[scoffs] That is weird.
463
00:22:57,356 --> 00:22:58,481
You know, it's probably best
464
00:22:58,482 --> 00:23:00,025
to just forget about
it and move on.
465
00:23:02,444 --> 00:23:04,654
You know, I could hit her with
a little cerebellum erasus
466
00:23:04,655 --> 00:23:05,822
and erase her memory.
467
00:23:05,823 --> 00:23:07,263
Keep your wand out
of my wife's head.
468
00:23:10,202 --> 00:23:12,079
So, Milo, I've been thinking.
469
00:23:12,538 --> 00:23:14,497
Um, now that we know
that wizards are real,
470
00:23:14,498 --> 00:23:15,623
and monsters are real...
471
00:23:15,624 --> 00:23:17,501
I already knew
that, but continue.
472
00:23:19,878 --> 00:23:22,005
I've, uh, I've decided
to stay in our room.
473
00:23:22,381 --> 00:23:24,258
You know, for when
you get scared.
474
00:23:24,550 --> 00:23:26,230
When he gets scared or
when you get scared?
475
00:23:27,094 --> 00:23:30,472
When are you leaving? Hey,
Dad, when is she leaving?
476
00:23:30,848 --> 00:23:33,558
Actually, I was thinking
she could, uh, stay with us
477
00:23:33,559 --> 00:23:34,643
for a little while.
478
00:23:35,811 --> 00:23:37,688
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, Dad, are you sure?
479
00:23:39,565 --> 00:23:40,607
What do you think?
480
00:23:41,817 --> 00:23:45,320
[sighs] I think I
could learn a lot here.
481
00:23:46,655 --> 00:23:48,114
- [chuckles lightly]
- And Giada's cool with this?
482
00:23:48,115 --> 00:23:49,491
- Totally.
- You didn't ask her.
483
00:23:49,700 --> 00:23:51,118
- I didn't.
- [audience laughs]
484
00:23:52,369 --> 00:23:54,246
Can't believe you're staying.
485
00:23:55,873 --> 00:23:57,248
You know, I thought
the face you made
486
00:23:57,249 --> 00:23:59,126
when you saw the floogie
was my favourite.
487
00:23:59,543 --> 00:24:01,002
But now it's this one.
488
00:24:01,003 --> 00:24:02,963
This one is definitely
my favorite.
489
00:24:04,548 --> 00:24:06,215
Happy birthday, J-Man.
490
00:24:06,216 --> 00:24:07,593
- Aw.
- Happy birthday!
491
00:24:07,801 --> 00:24:09,678
Oh, right, it's your
birthday. [chuckles]
492
00:24:14,057 --> 00:24:16,309
If I'm gonna train
you, it can't be here.
493
00:24:16,310 --> 00:24:17,435
- Why not?
- [clicks tongue]
494
00:24:17,436 --> 00:24:19,229
His family doesn't
know about wizards.
495
00:24:20,189 --> 00:24:23,232
Right! [laughs] Yes, they
do not know about wizards,
496
00:24:23,233 --> 00:24:25,484
'cause I didn't tell them.
So, unless you told them...
497
00:24:25,485 --> 00:24:27,487
You know, that is a
really nice cardigan.
498
00:24:29,489 --> 00:24:30,616
Thank you. [chuckles]
499
00:24:31,909 --> 00:24:34,328
[clears throat] Alex,
will you do the honors?
500
00:24:34,578 --> 00:24:36,496
- Mm-hm.
- [mystical whooshing]
501
00:24:45,380 --> 00:24:47,924
The old lair, this takes
me back. [chuckles]
502
00:24:47,925 --> 00:24:49,843
[exhales] Oh!
503
00:24:59,770 --> 00:25:02,898
Hello, Wandy. My old friend.
504
00:25:04,524 --> 00:25:05,943
[audience claps and cheers]
505
00:25:07,027 --> 00:25:08,819
You know, I thought you
were just bringing me
506
00:25:08,820 --> 00:25:10,220
to another teacher
who doesn't care.
507
00:25:10,656 --> 00:25:13,659
But, I was wrong. Thanks
for believing in me.
508
00:25:13,867 --> 00:25:16,702
Of course. Us rebels,
we gotta stick together.
509
00:25:16,703 --> 00:25:18,454
- [chuckles softly]
- Look, I have to go back
510
00:25:18,455 --> 00:25:19,831
to the Tribunal. Are you good?
511
00:25:20,165 --> 00:25:21,833
Don't worry. I'll be okay here.
512
00:25:22,209 --> 00:25:24,253
Zippo zap, zippo
zee, zippo zeria!
513
00:25:26,380 --> 00:25:28,924
[laughs, blows] Still got it.
514
00:25:30,259 --> 00:25:33,094
Okay, good, good, because
there's one thing I, um,
515
00:25:33,095 --> 00:25:34,971
kind of sort of
forgot to mention.
516
00:25:34,972 --> 00:25:37,223
Nothing big, just
this teeny tiny,
517
00:25:37,224 --> 00:25:39,558
but very real prophecy
about the end of the world,
518
00:25:39,559 --> 00:25:41,359
and Billie being the
only one who can save us.
519
00:25:42,646 --> 00:25:44,146
The fate of the world
is in her hands?
520
00:25:44,147 --> 00:25:45,524
[electricity zaps]
521
00:25:45,732 --> 00:25:47,276
Well, technically,
it's in your hands.
522
00:25:48,944 --> 00:25:50,194
You make sure she's ready,
523
00:25:50,195 --> 00:25:52,572
and I'll figure out what
she needs to be ready for.
524
00:25:53,365 --> 00:25:54,574
- Thank you.
- [sighs]
525
00:25:56,076 --> 00:25:57,077
For everything.
526
00:25:58,036 --> 00:25:59,746
Russos always have
each other's backs.
527
00:26:00,330 --> 00:26:02,332
- Well, don't blow it, J-Man.
- [sighs]
528
00:26:07,671 --> 00:26:09,506
I've missed this.
[chuckles softly]
529
00:26:15,095 --> 00:26:17,306
"Don't blow it, J-Man."
What'd she mean by that?
530
00:26:18,348 --> 00:26:19,766
Uh, well, I, uh...
531
00:26:20,726 --> 00:26:22,326
I think we should get
started. [chuckles]
532
00:26:22,769 --> 00:26:27,065
? Everything is
not what it seems ?
533
00:26:27,115 --> 00:26:31,665
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
41722
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.