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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,905 --> 00:00:10,532 [Milo] Hey, Roman, are you sleeping? 2 00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:12,784 Yes. 3 00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:15,078 [Milo] Okay, cool. 4 00:00:15,787 --> 00:00:16,872 Hey, Roman? 5 00:00:17,789 --> 00:00:20,250 - What? [sighs] - Is the monster gone? 6 00:00:20,876 --> 00:00:23,711 [sighs] We've talked about this, okay? 7 00:00:23,712 --> 00:00:26,590 There is no monster! 8 00:00:28,675 --> 00:00:30,761 Why'd you scream? You scared me. 9 00:00:31,344 --> 00:00:35,097 I scared you? [scoffs] Look, tha... that's it, okay? 10 00:00:35,098 --> 00:00:37,809 I'm too old to be living with a kid who believes in monsters. 11 00:00:38,310 --> 00:00:40,312 Remember what Gladys at the dry cleaners said? 12 00:00:40,771 --> 00:00:42,229 That's the most ketchup she's ever cleaned out 13 00:00:42,230 --> 00:00:43,356 of a young man's pants? 14 00:00:44,357 --> 00:00:46,443 Exactly. "A young man." 15 00:00:46,902 --> 00:00:48,528 And a young man, needs his own room. 16 00:00:48,862 --> 00:00:50,572 N... I'm talking to Mom and Dad. 17 00:00:56,286 --> 00:00:57,454 Well, that's new. 18 00:01:01,458 --> 00:01:03,418 Oh, hey, kid. Is this the Russo house? 19 00:01:03,835 --> 00:01:05,336 What are you doing in my mirror? 20 00:01:05,337 --> 00:01:07,506 That's how we get places. I'm a wizard. 21 00:01:07,798 --> 00:01:09,216 Where's your robe and pointy hat? 22 00:01:09,674 --> 00:01:12,344 [chuckles] Let me clarify. I'm a wizard with style. 23 00:01:18,350 --> 00:01:20,190 [female voice] Billie, we can't go in that way. 24 00:01:21,353 --> 00:01:23,063 Wait! Who else is in there? 25 00:01:23,980 --> 00:01:25,420 Should I be changing in the bathroom? 26 00:01:26,942 --> 00:01:28,734 - Okay, Milo. - Roman. 27 00:01:28,735 --> 00:01:30,194 There's something I gotta tell you. 28 00:01:30,195 --> 00:01:33,740 Me first, okay? [inhales] Maybe I flew off the handle. 29 00:01:34,115 --> 00:01:35,533 Not gonna move out. 30 00:01:35,534 --> 00:01:38,911 But promise me, no more crazy made-up stories. 31 00:01:38,912 --> 00:01:43,250 - There's a wizard in our mirror! - Dad, I need my own room! 32 00:01:45,710 --> 00:01:46,961 [theme song playing] 33 00:01:46,962 --> 00:01:49,880 {\an8}? Everything is not what it seems ? 34 00:01:49,881 --> 00:01:51,757 {\an8}? When you can have what you want ? 35 00:01:51,758 --> 00:01:53,510 {\an8}? By the simplest of means ? 36 00:01:53,718 --> 00:01:56,679 {\an8}? Be careful not to mess with the balance of things ? 37 00:01:56,680 --> 00:02:01,308 {\an8}? Because everything is not what it seems ? 38 00:02:01,309 --> 00:02:03,435 ? You might run into trouble if you go to extremes ? 39 00:02:03,436 --> 00:02:06,314 ? Because everything is not what it seems ? 40 00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,108 ? Yes, please ? 41 00:02:10,110 --> 00:02:11,830 - ? What it seems ? - [theme song concludes] 42 00:02:18,243 --> 00:02:20,120 {\an8}Oh! Hey there, good looking. 43 00:02:21,454 --> 00:02:22,580 {\an8}[exhales] Why, yes. 44 00:02:22,581 --> 00:02:26,376 {\an8}It is my birthday today. Yeah, 34. 45 00:02:26,835 --> 00:02:27,836 [grunts] 46 00:02:29,629 --> 00:02:31,798 Oh, you think the J-Man's still got it? [exhales] 47 00:02:32,549 --> 00:02:35,926 {\an8}- I think you still got it. - [gasps, laughs] Giada. 48 00:02:35,927 --> 00:02:38,263 [inhales] You're awake. That's fun. 49 00:02:39,806 --> 00:02:41,349 Happy birthday, J-Man. 50 00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:43,934 You remembered my birthday. 51 00:02:43,935 --> 00:02:45,060 {\an8}How could I forget? 52 00:02:45,061 --> 00:02:47,147 {\an8}You sent me four calendar invites. 53 00:02:48,064 --> 00:02:50,107 {\an8}Well, you do know that coordinating family logistics 54 00:02:50,108 --> 00:02:51,943 {\an8}- is my love language. - [laughs] 55 00:02:52,485 --> 00:02:54,988 Gross! Get a room! 56 00:02:55,572 --> 00:02:56,740 This is our room. 57 00:02:58,033 --> 00:03:00,284 Hey, guys! Anything you wanna say to me today? 58 00:03:00,285 --> 00:03:03,330 Oh, thank you for asking. I need my own room. 59 00:03:03,830 --> 00:03:06,416 No, like anything you want to, uh, wish me? 60 00:03:06,791 --> 00:03:09,336 I wish you would give me my own room. 61 00:03:11,296 --> 00:03:13,256 {\an8}Look what I woke up to this morning. 62 00:03:13,548 --> 00:03:15,257 {\an8}It's so the monster in the closet will think 63 00:03:15,258 --> 00:03:17,218 {\an8}I'm a monster and go after Roman. 64 00:03:17,969 --> 00:03:19,804 Savage. Gets that from my side. 65 00:03:21,431 --> 00:03:24,099 {\an8}Mom, don't encourage him. You should be telling him 66 00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:25,769 {\an8}there's no such thing as monsters. 67 00:03:26,019 --> 00:03:27,311 {\an8}Back me up on this, Dad. 68 00:03:27,312 --> 00:03:28,646 {\an8}Absolutely, buddy. 69 00:03:28,647 --> 00:03:30,689 {\an8}There is no such thing as monsters. 70 00:03:30,690 --> 00:03:32,191 {\an8}And I should know, 'cause I was not 71 00:03:32,192 --> 00:03:33,632 {\an8}a monster hunter when I was your age. 72 00:03:34,027 --> 00:03:35,277 {\an8}You were a monster hunter? 73 00:03:35,278 --> 00:03:38,322 {\an8}No! No, I was very clear when I said I was not 74 00:03:38,323 --> 00:03:40,282 {\an8}a monster hunter, okay? I couldn't have been, 75 00:03:40,283 --> 00:03:41,368 because I'm not a wizard. 76 00:03:42,827 --> 00:03:45,108 [chuckles, inhales deeply] What are we even talking about? 77 00:03:45,664 --> 00:03:49,334 Is Dad having a midlife crisis? Are you getting a tattoo? 78 00:03:49,626 --> 00:03:50,669 Ooh, are you? 79 00:03:51,586 --> 00:03:53,253 - No, and I am not midlife... - M'kay. 80 00:03:53,254 --> 00:03:54,881 Guys, I turned 34 today. 81 00:03:55,131 --> 00:03:56,132 It's your birthday? 82 00:03:57,634 --> 00:03:59,874 Be honest with me, does no one check the family calendar? 83 00:03:59,928 --> 00:04:02,179 We all love the calendar, big fans of the calendar. Okay. 84 00:04:02,180 --> 00:04:05,141 Boys, go get dressed. I think your dad needs a moment. 85 00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:08,644 Listen, don't freak out, 86 00:04:08,645 --> 00:04:10,414 but I got you a little surprise for your birthday. 87 00:04:10,438 --> 00:04:11,773 But... I don't like surprises. 88 00:04:11,982 --> 00:04:13,222 Oh, you're gonna like this one. 89 00:04:14,693 --> 00:04:16,610 Okay, I can handle this. Maybe liking surprises 90 00:04:16,611 --> 00:04:18,487 will be a new thing for me. Yeah, yeah. 91 00:04:18,488 --> 00:04:20,490 [inhales] Oh, who am I kidding? Giada! 92 00:04:25,328 --> 00:04:26,496 Let's just go in this way. 93 00:04:27,831 --> 00:04:29,751 [female voice] No, we have to use the front door. 94 00:04:30,208 --> 00:04:32,328 [scoffs] Like a mortal? Aw, man, nobody better see me. 95 00:04:35,964 --> 00:04:39,009 Giada! Hey, um, uh, yeah... 96 00:04:39,551 --> 00:04:42,094 Giada, why... why don't you tell me what it is, okay? 97 00:04:42,095 --> 00:04:43,512 And you'll be like, "Surprise!" 98 00:04:43,513 --> 00:04:46,098 And then I'll be like, "No freaking way!" [chuckles] 99 00:04:46,099 --> 00:04:48,101 - Gia... Huh? - [doorbell rings] 100 00:04:51,229 --> 00:04:53,589 Look who's using the front door just like one of you people. 101 00:04:55,567 --> 00:04:56,568 Surprise! 102 00:05:02,198 --> 00:05:03,616 No freaking way. 103 00:05:04,159 --> 00:05:06,619 I know, I look fantastic, don't I? 104 00:05:07,871 --> 00:05:09,956 Alex, [stammers] are you here for my birthday? 105 00:05:10,457 --> 00:05:13,876 It's your... It... uh... It's your birthday! That's why... 106 00:05:13,877 --> 00:05:15,377 - That's why I came, you know? - [Justin] Aw. 107 00:05:15,378 --> 00:05:17,298 That's why we're here. We came for your birthday. 108 00:05:19,382 --> 00:05:21,508 You dragged me here for your brother's birthday? 109 00:05:21,509 --> 00:05:22,885 No, I brought you here, 110 00:05:22,886 --> 00:05:24,554 so you can meet your new wizard teacher. 111 00:05:24,763 --> 00:05:27,265 I don't need a new teacher. They never believe in me anyway. 112 00:05:27,515 --> 00:05:30,476 [inhales] Well, this one will. He's the best I've ever known. 113 00:05:30,477 --> 00:05:32,187 - [sighs] - Annoyingly. But... 114 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:33,937 I just have to find a way to ask him. 115 00:05:33,938 --> 00:05:35,440 He can be a little high-strung. 116 00:05:35,648 --> 00:05:37,025 Did you guys track this dirt in? 117 00:05:40,153 --> 00:05:41,654 Okay, a lot high-strung. 118 00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:46,325 So, you're the guy who owns all the sandwich shops? 119 00:05:46,326 --> 00:05:47,410 Like, the billionaire? 120 00:05:47,660 --> 00:05:49,495 Uh, no. That would be Max. 121 00:05:49,496 --> 00:05:51,205 I'm a middle school vice principal, which some 122 00:05:51,206 --> 00:05:53,415 would say is much cooler than being a billionaire. 123 00:05:53,416 --> 00:05:55,176 - Nobody says that. - I would never say that. 124 00:05:56,836 --> 00:05:59,005 Uh, and Alex, who is this? 125 00:05:59,297 --> 00:06:03,009 Oh, um, this is Billie. She's... with me. 126 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:05,595 Well, that clears everything up. 127 00:06:07,222 --> 00:06:09,598 - Aunt Alex! - Oh, my gosh! Hi, guys! 128 00:06:09,599 --> 00:06:12,643 How are you? I bought you presents. 129 00:06:12,644 --> 00:06:14,186 Because I'm the coolest aunt, like ever. 130 00:06:14,187 --> 00:06:15,688 - [Roman] Oh! Shirts. - So... 131 00:06:16,856 --> 00:06:18,566 - [Roman] Straight outta WizTech. - Alex. 132 00:06:19,150 --> 00:06:20,568 Can I speak with you in private? 133 00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:26,241 That's the wizard girl from our mirror. 134 00:06:26,616 --> 00:06:27,896 Dude, you're gonna weird her out. 135 00:06:29,035 --> 00:06:30,835 Hey, what kind of mileage does this thing get? 136 00:06:32,372 --> 00:06:34,082 Okay, maybe she's gonna weird us out. 137 00:06:36,459 --> 00:06:37,669 Uh, what are these? 138 00:06:38,002 --> 00:06:39,879 Uh, hilarious novelty tees. 139 00:06:41,214 --> 00:06:42,339 About wizards. 140 00:06:42,340 --> 00:06:45,884 - Well, we are wizards. - [shushes] 141 00:06:45,885 --> 00:06:47,929 Okay, we're talking over here now. 142 00:06:49,514 --> 00:06:51,349 Remember how the last time we talked, 143 00:06:51,641 --> 00:06:53,559 you asked me when I was going to tell Giada and the kids 144 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,103 that I was from a family of wizards? 145 00:06:55,478 --> 00:06:58,398 - Yeah. - Well, I kinda sort of haven't. 146 00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:01,401 You're still lying to your family, Justin? I'm... 147 00:07:02,277 --> 00:07:03,403 I'm so proud of you. 148 00:07:05,155 --> 00:07:07,531 I'm not lying, Alex. Technically, I'm not a wizard. 149 00:07:07,532 --> 00:07:09,741 Okay? Anymore. I haven't picked up a wand 150 00:07:09,742 --> 00:07:10,994 since I got fired from WizTech. 151 00:07:11,411 --> 00:07:13,328 Oh... Yeah. The unicorn incident. 152 00:07:13,329 --> 00:07:15,164 - That was hilarious... Awful. - Awful! 153 00:07:15,165 --> 00:07:17,709 It was so awful. That's what I was trying to say. 154 00:07:18,042 --> 00:07:22,172 Uh, but don't you miss it? You know, teaching wizards? 155 00:07:22,922 --> 00:07:25,884 [scoffs] No. I don't even think about it every day. 156 00:07:28,011 --> 00:07:29,804 - You just said every day. - Yes, I didn't. 157 00:07:32,515 --> 00:07:34,475 Look, okay? Just while you're here, 158 00:07:34,893 --> 00:07:37,644 no talk about magic and no wizard talk, okay? 159 00:07:37,645 --> 00:07:41,482 Fine. What exactly does your family think I do for a living? 160 00:07:41,816 --> 00:07:42,859 Professional dog walker. 161 00:07:45,612 --> 00:07:48,239 I want to be offended, but I do love dogs, so... 162 00:07:49,073 --> 00:07:50,673 All right, fine. I won't blow your cover. 163 00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:53,410 Thank you. And what about Billie? Is she cool? 164 00:07:53,411 --> 00:07:54,537 I promise. 165 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:57,766 Billie definitely won't say anything about being a wizard. 166 00:07:57,790 --> 00:07:58,833 I'm a wizard! 167 00:08:01,252 --> 00:08:03,963 - I told you. - Milo, she's not a wizard. 168 00:08:04,255 --> 00:08:05,535 I know you didn't just say that. 169 00:08:06,549 --> 00:08:07,829 There's no such thing as wizards. 170 00:08:08,801 --> 00:08:10,241 And I know you did not just say that. 171 00:08:10,345 --> 00:08:12,095 It's not personal. He doesn't believe me 172 00:08:12,096 --> 00:08:13,847 about the monster in our closet either. 173 00:08:13,848 --> 00:08:15,516 Uh... Because monsters aren't real, 174 00:08:15,892 --> 00:08:17,268 just like wizards aren't real. 175 00:08:17,518 --> 00:08:19,520 Okay, smart guy, show me your closet then. 176 00:08:19,854 --> 00:08:22,439 Fine, but all that's gonna prove is that I have 177 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:23,733 great taste in cardigans. 178 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,696 There it is. There's the closet. 179 00:08:29,697 --> 00:08:30,906 Open it up. 180 00:08:30,907 --> 00:08:33,367 This is your dumb thing. You open it. 181 00:08:33,368 --> 00:08:36,246 I'm not opening it. I like being alive. 182 00:08:37,038 --> 00:08:39,207 Well, guess you're both too scared to open it. 183 00:08:39,457 --> 00:08:41,459 I am. Thought I was clear about that. 184 00:08:42,627 --> 00:08:43,962 Hey, fine, I'll open it. 185 00:08:45,964 --> 00:08:47,775 [softly] From the place where dark beasts dwell, 186 00:08:47,799 --> 00:08:49,550 I summon a floogie with this spell. 187 00:08:50,718 --> 00:08:53,178 Get ready to not see... [screams] 188 00:08:53,179 --> 00:08:55,640 - [growls] - [screams] 189 00:08:57,809 --> 00:08:59,310 Why are you laughing?! 190 00:08:59,644 --> 00:09:02,563 Because, you said monsters aren't real, 191 00:09:02,814 --> 00:09:05,817 so I conjured one, 'cause I'm a wizard, ahwandra. 192 00:09:06,901 --> 00:09:08,820 [growling and grumbling] 193 00:09:09,904 --> 00:09:12,407 Please tell me there's a spell to make it go away. 194 00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:14,951 There is, I just don't know it. 195 00:09:17,036 --> 00:09:18,913 You don't know how to send it back? 196 00:09:19,163 --> 00:09:20,622 Then why did you conjure it? 197 00:09:20,623 --> 00:09:23,103 - 'Cause you said I couldn't. - You can't argue with the logic. 198 00:09:24,794 --> 00:09:26,212 - [growls] - [shushes] 199 00:09:27,964 --> 00:09:29,048 I don't hear anything. 200 00:09:31,676 --> 00:09:34,429 See? Uh, maybe the monster went away on its own? 201 00:09:34,804 --> 00:09:37,056 Yeah, that definitely happens. Go check it out. 202 00:09:40,226 --> 00:09:41,894 - [growls] - [screams] 203 00:09:43,271 --> 00:09:46,023 [laughs] You checked it out? What is wrong with you? 204 00:09:46,024 --> 00:09:48,150 Me? We didn't have a monster 205 00:09:48,151 --> 00:09:50,068 in the closet until you came along! 206 00:09:50,069 --> 00:09:52,196 - Actually... - Not now, Milo! 207 00:09:56,242 --> 00:09:57,409 My dad cannot find out 208 00:09:57,410 --> 00:09:58,887 there's a monster running around the house. 209 00:09:58,911 --> 00:10:00,121 - It'll... - Ruin his birthday. 210 00:10:01,664 --> 00:10:04,250 His birthday? If Justin Russo finds out wizards are real, 211 00:10:04,542 --> 00:10:06,586 - his head's gonna explode! - Cool. 212 00:10:07,587 --> 00:10:09,297 Why did you bring that... that... 213 00:10:09,547 --> 00:10:11,006 - Floogie. - That floogie here, 214 00:10:11,007 --> 00:10:12,257 if you couldn't get rid of it? 215 00:10:12,258 --> 00:10:13,633 'Cause I didn't know I couldn't get rid of it 216 00:10:13,634 --> 00:10:14,802 until I brought it here. 217 00:10:16,179 --> 00:10:18,473 You need to go back to... wizard school. 218 00:10:18,890 --> 00:10:20,410 Well, I can't, 'cause I got kicked out. 219 00:10:21,893 --> 00:10:24,103 It's not my fault my teachers don't believe in me. 220 00:10:24,354 --> 00:10:26,356 But I don't need them. I don't need anyone. 221 00:10:26,564 --> 00:10:28,024 We definitely need someone. 222 00:10:30,860 --> 00:10:33,153 No, we don't. I can fix this. 223 00:10:33,154 --> 00:10:34,781 I'll get rid of the floogie myself. 224 00:10:35,782 --> 00:10:36,783 Please. 225 00:10:37,241 --> 00:10:39,117 All right, fine. But if that thing 226 00:10:39,118 --> 00:10:40,758 poops in the house, you're cleaning it up. 227 00:10:41,704 --> 00:10:43,584 Oh, they don't poop. They flarf. It's way worse. 228 00:10:46,876 --> 00:10:49,754 So, hypothetically, yeah, I use words like hypothetically now, 229 00:10:51,005 --> 00:10:52,923 what would you say if someone were to ask you 230 00:10:52,924 --> 00:10:54,133 to go back to teaching magic? 231 00:10:54,467 --> 00:10:56,052 Alex, what is this all about? 232 00:10:56,594 --> 00:11:00,055 Oh! Sorry I took so long. Mr. Kopecky from next door 233 00:11:00,056 --> 00:11:02,350 forced me to look at pictures of his grandson. 234 00:11:02,558 --> 00:11:04,935 Now, I would never say that a baby is ugly, 235 00:11:04,936 --> 00:11:06,854 but this baby, it looks like a foot. 236 00:11:08,731 --> 00:11:10,482 - Alex! [scoffs] - Hey, Giada. 237 00:11:10,483 --> 00:11:11,692 What are you doing here? 238 00:11:13,236 --> 00:11:15,028 Giada, come on. I know that Alex is my birthday surprise. 239 00:11:15,029 --> 00:11:16,405 Whoa, babe, I would never ambush you 240 00:11:16,406 --> 00:11:17,726 with family and call it a present. 241 00:11:18,282 --> 00:11:19,909 So, Alex, how's work? 242 00:11:20,159 --> 00:11:22,328 Uh, work's great. I'm on the Tribunal now. 243 00:11:22,745 --> 00:11:26,290 - You're on the Tribunal? - There's a dog-walking tribunal? 244 00:11:27,458 --> 00:11:28,960 Yeah. Yeah, they were like, 245 00:11:29,460 --> 00:11:33,463 "Alex, there are some pretty bad dogs out there, and... 246 00:11:33,464 --> 00:11:35,800 and you're the only one that can help." 247 00:11:36,634 --> 00:11:38,886 Oh, you're the only one, huh? You? 248 00:11:40,138 --> 00:11:41,930 Yeah. Why is it so hard to believe? 249 00:11:41,931 --> 00:11:43,307 I mean, I am the family... 250 00:11:44,142 --> 00:11:45,226 dog walker. 251 00:11:46,644 --> 00:11:48,684 But I practically taught you how to walk those dogs. 252 00:11:49,021 --> 00:11:51,189 If anyone should have been on the Tribunal, we both know 253 00:11:51,190 --> 00:11:52,567 that it should have been moi. 254 00:11:54,068 --> 00:11:55,986 Okay. Well, if you wanted to make the Tribunal so badly, 255 00:11:55,987 --> 00:11:57,707 maybe you shouldn't have hung up your leash. 256 00:11:57,822 --> 00:11:59,448 Okay, you know, well, this is getting awkward. 257 00:11:59,449 --> 00:12:01,742 Is anybody thirsty? I'm not, but I'm gonna leave anyway. 258 00:12:03,661 --> 00:12:05,036 Dude, what's your problem? 259 00:12:05,037 --> 00:12:07,331 I thought you were happy you left wizarding behind. 260 00:12:07,582 --> 00:12:11,377 I am, okay? I like my quiet, predictable, no surprises life. 261 00:12:11,752 --> 00:12:14,422 Then why are you acting like you have flarf for brains? 262 00:12:15,089 --> 00:12:17,550 First, we don't use that kind of language in this house. 263 00:12:19,552 --> 00:12:22,054 And second, if you're not my birthday surprise, 264 00:12:22,388 --> 00:12:23,598 what are you doing here, Alex? 265 00:12:25,141 --> 00:12:28,685 Okay fine. Um, Billie is one of the most extraordinary wizards 266 00:12:28,686 --> 00:12:30,806 - I've ever met. But she needs... - [glass shattering] 267 00:12:31,731 --> 00:12:32,732 What was that? 268 00:12:34,942 --> 00:12:36,527 [gasps] Giada! 269 00:12:39,030 --> 00:12:41,699 [gasps, grunts] 270 00:12:42,742 --> 00:12:44,035 This looks like a floogie freeze. 271 00:12:45,495 --> 00:12:47,370 Oh, look at you remembering your class-three monsters. 272 00:12:47,371 --> 00:12:49,206 - Just like old times. When we were little, I used... - Oh, no. 273 00:12:49,207 --> 00:12:52,293 No, no, no, no, no. No. You said you wouldn't do magic. 274 00:12:52,543 --> 00:12:54,045 - I didn't do this. It... - [sighs] 275 00:12:54,712 --> 00:12:56,672 - Billie... - This is classic Alex. 276 00:12:57,089 --> 00:12:59,007 You're here for five minutes and I got a floogie infestation, 277 00:12:59,008 --> 00:13:00,551 and just look at my beautiful wife! 278 00:13:03,095 --> 00:13:06,641 I'll handle this. After all, I am the family dog walker. 279 00:13:08,684 --> 00:13:11,603 The only way to unfreeze her is to banish the floogie back where it came from. 280 00:13:11,604 --> 00:13:15,650 I know, but thank you for the refresher because... I forgot. 281 00:13:18,486 --> 00:13:20,946 Whatever you do, do not look the floogie 282 00:13:20,947 --> 00:13:22,615 right in the eye, or he'll freeze you. 283 00:13:22,865 --> 00:13:25,493 Which one? The thing's 90 percent eyes! 284 00:13:25,743 --> 00:13:28,412 - [groans, chews loudly] - It's over there! 285 00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:33,751 He's eating the couch! 286 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:35,586 Dad won't even let us eat on the couch! 287 00:13:36,587 --> 00:13:37,713 [growls] 288 00:13:39,131 --> 00:13:42,093 - [Milo] Roman, look out! - [growls, grumbles] 289 00:13:43,844 --> 00:13:46,973 - Milo! - He saved you. 290 00:13:47,598 --> 00:13:50,309 Well, we're Russos. Russos always have each other's backs. 291 00:13:51,394 --> 00:13:53,234 So, you would have done the same thing for him? 292 00:13:54,188 --> 00:13:56,816 I would have... strongly considered it. 293 00:13:57,900 --> 00:14:00,444 [sighs] We should hide him until I can banish the floogie. 294 00:14:00,695 --> 00:14:02,571 I think if your parents saw their son frozen solid, 295 00:14:02,572 --> 00:14:03,698 it'd be pretty upsetting. 296 00:14:03,990 --> 00:14:05,491 Do you? Do you think that? 297 00:14:06,826 --> 00:14:08,266 What are we gonna do about the couch? 298 00:14:10,329 --> 00:14:11,872 - Oh, nice. - Let's go. 299 00:14:17,128 --> 00:14:18,878 [whispers indistinctly] Where are we hiding the kid? 300 00:14:18,879 --> 00:14:20,922 An infinity pocket? Bottomless bag? 301 00:14:20,923 --> 00:14:23,009 You know, I can open a portal to the Nowhere Zone. 302 00:14:23,426 --> 00:14:24,718 I'm not sending my little brother 303 00:14:24,719 --> 00:14:26,759 to the Nowhere Zone. He's got a field trip tomorrow. 304 00:14:27,972 --> 00:14:29,223 Help me put him on the bike. 305 00:14:38,858 --> 00:14:41,277 - A helmet? Really? - It's the law! 306 00:14:45,031 --> 00:14:47,825 All right, Giada, we're almost there. [pants] 307 00:14:48,284 --> 00:14:51,620 [whispers] There we go. [grunts] Okay. Sorry. 308 00:14:51,621 --> 00:14:56,083 That's... [pants] Oh! Hey, g... guys. 309 00:14:56,834 --> 00:14:58,919 I didn't know you were... [pants] ...out here. 310 00:14:59,128 --> 00:15:04,007 Oh, yeah, I was just showing Billie the water heater. 311 00:15:04,008 --> 00:15:06,093 - Yeah. - And I was just... 312 00:15:06,344 --> 00:15:09,138 I was just carrying whatever's under this blanket. 313 00:15:09,388 --> 00:15:13,058 [laughs awkwardly] Well, that is some very 314 00:15:13,059 --> 00:15:16,186 normal behavior from the both of us. 315 00:15:16,187 --> 00:15:18,230 - [chuckles] - [inhales sharply] Ta-ta. 316 00:15:19,982 --> 00:15:22,401 Uh, Roman, just real quick, bud. 317 00:15:22,943 --> 00:15:25,111 You haven't seen anything, like, weird going on 318 00:15:25,112 --> 00:15:26,489 around here today, have you? 319 00:15:27,156 --> 00:15:31,869 Uh... No, no, no, no, nothing weird. 320 00:15:32,036 --> 00:15:34,288 Just the regular old boring Russos. 321 00:15:34,747 --> 00:15:36,791 No reason for you to get worked up, Dad. 322 00:15:37,375 --> 00:15:39,519 Wait, wait, wait, you're saying we're boring? You think we're boring? 323 00:15:39,543 --> 00:15:41,462 Oh, yeah, totally, totally the boring-est. 324 00:15:42,338 --> 00:15:44,339 Maybe I could stand to use a little excitement in life. 325 00:15:44,340 --> 00:15:47,050 Well, well, you are not gonna find it here, 326 00:15:47,051 --> 00:15:50,221 because our house is boring central. 327 00:15:51,263 --> 00:15:54,433 [yawns] See, I'm getting bored just talking about it. 328 00:15:55,184 --> 00:15:56,894 [sniffs] See ya. 329 00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:03,984 Not there. Not there. 330 00:16:05,945 --> 00:16:09,323 Not there. [gasps] There you are. 331 00:16:12,284 --> 00:16:14,537 I guess I could start looking for the floogie now. 332 00:16:19,125 --> 00:16:21,669 - Oh, hi, Alex. Bye, Alex. - No, no. 333 00:16:22,712 --> 00:16:26,214 I knew it. You had something to do with the floogie. 334 00:16:26,215 --> 00:16:27,799 This is just like when you put a curse 335 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,385 on Professor Dinklebot's toothbrush. 336 00:16:30,386 --> 00:16:33,555 [laughs] He was shaving his tongue for a month. 337 00:16:33,556 --> 00:16:35,140 - [laughs] That was hilarious. - I know! 338 00:16:35,141 --> 00:16:38,185 But no! This is not a laughing matter. 339 00:16:38,686 --> 00:16:41,230 Oh, you made me sound like my mother. Billie, 340 00:16:42,022 --> 00:16:44,608 Justin is not gonna teach you if he thinks that you're trouble. 341 00:16:45,276 --> 00:16:47,820 - Sounds like a win-win to me. - You don't get it. 342 00:16:48,821 --> 00:16:50,364 This is your last chance. 343 00:16:51,157 --> 00:16:52,907 The Tribunal thinks that you're dangerous 344 00:16:52,908 --> 00:16:54,159 and they wanna take your wand. 345 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,327 But that's not fair. I'm a great wizard. 346 00:16:56,328 --> 00:16:59,123 You're a powerful wizard. There's a difference. 347 00:16:59,832 --> 00:17:02,333 I'm not dangerous, and I'll prove it. I can fix this. 348 00:17:02,334 --> 00:17:06,046 Just stay out of the way. You've done quite enough, young lady. 349 00:17:06,714 --> 00:17:08,382 Who am I right now? 350 00:17:11,886 --> 00:17:13,428 Hey, where are you going? 351 00:17:13,429 --> 00:17:15,431 I'm going upstairs to find that floogie. 352 00:17:16,682 --> 00:17:17,922 What do you think you're doing? 353 00:17:18,058 --> 00:17:20,644 Going with you. You mess everything up! 354 00:17:20,936 --> 00:17:23,314 - You clearly need help! - No, I don't! 355 00:17:23,898 --> 00:17:26,775 With magic cast by me alone, I send thee to the Nowhere Zone. 356 00:17:26,776 --> 00:17:27,902 [screams] 357 00:17:30,654 --> 00:17:32,239 Here, floogie, floogie! 358 00:17:37,286 --> 00:17:42,791 Levitatus sofitus. Wow, it's clean under here. 359 00:17:42,792 --> 00:17:44,876 [scoffs] What am I talking about? We're at Justin's house. 360 00:17:44,877 --> 00:17:46,629 Of course he vacuums under the couch. 361 00:17:49,215 --> 00:17:51,342 - [sofa thuds] - I wasn't using magic! 362 00:17:52,676 --> 00:17:57,013 Listen, Alex. I'm sorry that I snapped at you, okay? 363 00:17:57,014 --> 00:17:59,599 It's just, you were talking about all the great stuff 364 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,019 you're doing, and I got jealous. 365 00:18:02,686 --> 00:18:03,854 Really? Of me? 366 00:18:04,313 --> 00:18:08,150 Yeah. You know, maybe I do miss being a wizard. 367 00:18:09,735 --> 00:18:11,654 I'm so happy to hear you say that. 368 00:18:12,780 --> 00:18:16,491 - Why? - Okay, Billie is an incredibly 369 00:18:16,492 --> 00:18:19,160 powerful wizard, but she's rebellious, 370 00:18:19,161 --> 00:18:22,665 and stubborn and sarcastic. She has no discipline. 371 00:18:22,873 --> 00:18:24,249 [smacks lips] Sounds like someone else I know. 372 00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:25,709 [laughs mockingly] Like me, I get it. 373 00:18:26,126 --> 00:18:28,545 - [chuckles softly] - But I had Dad. 374 00:18:28,546 --> 00:18:32,007 And I had you. Billie has no one. 375 00:18:32,341 --> 00:18:34,927 Every teacher she's ever had has given up on her. 376 00:18:36,136 --> 00:18:39,765 - It's kinda why I'm here. I'm... - No, Alex. No. 377 00:18:40,015 --> 00:18:43,102 I mean, I... I... I... I don't teach wizards anymore. 378 00:18:43,477 --> 00:18:45,687 Justin, you were the youngest headmaster 379 00:18:45,688 --> 00:18:47,314 of WizTech in history. 380 00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:49,149 Yeah, and then I got fired. 381 00:18:49,483 --> 00:18:52,026 So, what? You just hide out here 382 00:18:52,027 --> 00:18:54,280 in Staten Island and deny who you are? 383 00:18:55,155 --> 00:18:58,075 I don't want my family to know anything about my past. 384 00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:01,620 So, you're ashamed of being a wizard? 385 00:19:02,246 --> 00:19:05,291 No. A failure. 386 00:19:06,584 --> 00:19:08,168 - [audience sighs] - [sighs] 387 00:19:13,424 --> 00:19:15,634 You only fail if you give up, Justin. 388 00:19:17,803 --> 00:19:20,180 Billie needs a teacher who believes in her. 389 00:19:21,473 --> 00:19:24,894 She needs you, like I needed you. 390 00:19:27,605 --> 00:19:30,482 [clears throat] I don't know if I have it in me to try again. 391 00:19:33,903 --> 00:19:34,987 [sighs] 392 00:19:37,781 --> 00:19:39,661 This couch feels two inches further to the left. 393 00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:43,662 - [roars, grumbles] - Billie! 394 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:46,749 [grumbles] 395 00:19:51,045 --> 00:19:53,631 Alex, there's a gigantic floogie in my kid's room! 396 00:19:53,881 --> 00:19:57,927 Really? Where? Billie, what did you do? 397 00:19:58,302 --> 00:20:00,930 I tried banishing it, but I only made it bigger. Alex, please! 398 00:20:02,056 --> 00:20:04,642 I thought I could do it, but I can't. I was wrong. 399 00:20:06,060 --> 00:20:07,820 Alex, what are you doing!? Banish it for her! 400 00:20:09,104 --> 00:20:10,689 [roars] 401 00:20:14,860 --> 00:20:16,654 - Alex! - [Justin] Don't! Come here! 402 00:20:17,404 --> 00:20:18,989 [roars] 403 00:20:19,949 --> 00:20:21,784 [roars] 404 00:20:22,576 --> 00:20:25,286 What are we gonna do? Alex is the only wizard 405 00:20:25,287 --> 00:20:27,497 strong enough to banish that thing. You do it. 406 00:20:27,498 --> 00:20:28,791 I... I can't do it. 407 00:20:29,166 --> 00:20:31,251 But Alex said you were the best she's ever known. 408 00:20:31,585 --> 00:20:32,919 Would've been nice to hear that from her. 409 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:35,171 [growls] 410 00:20:35,172 --> 00:20:38,383 Listen to me. You have to do this, okay? Only you can. 411 00:20:38,384 --> 00:20:40,176 I already tried, but I failed. 412 00:20:40,177 --> 00:20:41,679 [breathes heavily] 413 00:20:43,222 --> 00:20:45,462 A wise wizard once told me, you only fail if you give up. 414 00:20:45,599 --> 00:20:47,767 Now, what were you thinking when you summoned it? 415 00:20:47,768 --> 00:20:49,519 Guess I just thought of the floogie, the closet, 416 00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,312 and then I said the spell, and it was there. 417 00:20:51,313 --> 00:20:52,982 - [roars] - [Billie screams] 418 00:20:53,857 --> 00:20:55,900 Just focus, okay? Clear your mind. 419 00:20:55,901 --> 00:20:57,736 I told you, I can't. 420 00:20:58,612 --> 00:21:00,739 My teachers were right not to believe in me. 421 00:21:02,533 --> 00:21:06,160 No. No, no, no. [stammers] You just had the wrong teachers. 422 00:21:06,161 --> 00:21:09,248 Okay? Hey, you got this, all right? 423 00:21:09,957 --> 00:21:11,542 I believe in you, okay? 424 00:21:12,626 --> 00:21:14,354 Think of the place you wanna send the floogie. 425 00:21:14,378 --> 00:21:16,922 And repeat after me. [inhales, exhales sharply] 426 00:21:17,923 --> 00:21:21,426 With magic strong and words of power. 427 00:21:21,427 --> 00:21:24,555 - [growls] - [grunts, groans] 428 00:21:24,930 --> 00:21:26,597 [growls] 429 00:21:26,598 --> 00:21:28,224 We banish you, floogie, at this hour. 430 00:21:28,225 --> 00:21:29,350 [growls] 431 00:21:29,351 --> 00:21:30,977 We banish you, floogie, at this hour. 432 00:21:30,978 --> 00:21:32,396 [growls] 433 00:21:34,148 --> 00:21:36,066 - [growls] - Now, together. 434 00:21:36,442 --> 00:21:37,942 Back to the road from whence you came, 435 00:21:37,943 --> 00:21:39,319 and never ever more remain. 436 00:21:42,698 --> 00:21:44,116 [grumbles] 437 00:21:49,580 --> 00:21:51,165 - [gasps happily] - [gasps] We did it! 438 00:21:53,292 --> 00:21:56,378 - You did it. - And I knew that you could. 439 00:21:58,380 --> 00:21:59,381 Justin taught me. 440 00:21:59,757 --> 00:22:01,592 Oh, thought you don't teach anymore. 441 00:22:02,551 --> 00:22:04,343 Wait, did you let yourself get frozen on purpose 442 00:22:04,344 --> 00:22:05,720 so I'd have to step in and instruct her, 443 00:22:05,721 --> 00:22:07,264 thus rediscovering my love of teaching? 444 00:22:08,390 --> 00:22:10,559 That would've been a really smart plan. [laughs] 445 00:22:10,809 --> 00:22:12,226 Well, and I don't know if you did or you didn't. 446 00:22:12,227 --> 00:22:14,104 [smacks lips] That's just the way I want it. 447 00:22:18,650 --> 00:22:20,359 I was hanging on my bike forever. 448 00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:22,988 I'm gonna have to put lotion on my tender parts. 449 00:22:24,114 --> 00:22:25,991 She trapped me in the Nowhere Zone. 450 00:22:26,450 --> 00:22:27,993 I saw things I can't forget. 451 00:22:28,535 --> 00:22:30,954 They don't have a lotion for your brain, Milo. 452 00:22:31,872 --> 00:22:32,956 Actually, they do. 453 00:22:34,166 --> 00:22:34,833 But the worm that makes it has to crawl in 454 00:22:34,834 --> 00:22:36,001 through your earhole. 455 00:22:37,669 --> 00:22:40,130 But for real, thanks for trying to help me. 456 00:22:40,714 --> 00:22:42,341 Thanks for saving my family. 457 00:22:43,634 --> 00:22:45,051 I mean, you are the one that put them in danger, 458 00:22:45,052 --> 00:22:47,096 but... thanks. 459 00:22:48,388 --> 00:22:50,349 It was so weird. I... I'm in the kitchen, 460 00:22:50,557 --> 00:22:51,766 and the next thing I know, 461 00:22:51,767 --> 00:22:53,559 I'm in the garage with a blanket over my head. 462 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,938 [scoffs] That is weird. 463 00:22:57,356 --> 00:22:58,481 You know, it's probably best 464 00:22:58,482 --> 00:23:00,025 to just forget about it and move on. 465 00:23:02,444 --> 00:23:04,654 You know, I could hit her with a little cerebellum erasus 466 00:23:04,655 --> 00:23:05,822 and erase her memory. 467 00:23:05,823 --> 00:23:07,263 Keep your wand out of my wife's head. 468 00:23:10,202 --> 00:23:12,079 So, Milo, I've been thinking. 469 00:23:12,538 --> 00:23:14,497 Um, now that we know that wizards are real, 470 00:23:14,498 --> 00:23:15,623 and monsters are real... 471 00:23:15,624 --> 00:23:17,501 I already knew that, but continue. 472 00:23:19,878 --> 00:23:22,005 I've, uh, I've decided to stay in our room. 473 00:23:22,381 --> 00:23:24,258 You know, for when you get scared. 474 00:23:24,550 --> 00:23:26,230 When he gets scared or when you get scared? 475 00:23:27,094 --> 00:23:30,472 When are you leaving? Hey, Dad, when is she leaving? 476 00:23:30,848 --> 00:23:33,558 Actually, I was thinking she could, uh, stay with us 477 00:23:33,559 --> 00:23:34,643 for a little while. 478 00:23:35,811 --> 00:23:37,688 - Are you sure? - Yeah, Dad, are you sure? 479 00:23:39,565 --> 00:23:40,607 What do you think? 480 00:23:41,817 --> 00:23:45,320 [sighs] I think I could learn a lot here. 481 00:23:46,655 --> 00:23:48,114 - [chuckles lightly] - And Giada's cool with this? 482 00:23:48,115 --> 00:23:49,491 - Totally. - You didn't ask her. 483 00:23:49,700 --> 00:23:51,118 - I didn't. - [audience laughs] 484 00:23:52,369 --> 00:23:54,246 Can't believe you're staying. 485 00:23:55,873 --> 00:23:57,248 You know, I thought the face you made 486 00:23:57,249 --> 00:23:59,126 when you saw the floogie was my favourite. 487 00:23:59,543 --> 00:24:01,002 But now it's this one. 488 00:24:01,003 --> 00:24:02,963 This one is definitely my favorite. 489 00:24:04,548 --> 00:24:06,215 Happy birthday, J-Man. 490 00:24:06,216 --> 00:24:07,593 - Aw. - Happy birthday! 491 00:24:07,801 --> 00:24:09,678 Oh, right, it's your birthday. [chuckles] 492 00:24:14,057 --> 00:24:16,309 If I'm gonna train you, it can't be here. 493 00:24:16,310 --> 00:24:17,435 - Why not? - [clicks tongue] 494 00:24:17,436 --> 00:24:19,229 His family doesn't know about wizards. 495 00:24:20,189 --> 00:24:23,232 Right! [laughs] Yes, they do not know about wizards, 496 00:24:23,233 --> 00:24:25,484 'cause I didn't tell them. So, unless you told them... 497 00:24:25,485 --> 00:24:27,487 You know, that is a really nice cardigan. 498 00:24:29,489 --> 00:24:30,616 Thank you. [chuckles] 499 00:24:31,909 --> 00:24:34,328 [clears throat] Alex, will you do the honors? 500 00:24:34,578 --> 00:24:36,496 - Mm-hm. - [mystical whooshing] 501 00:24:45,380 --> 00:24:47,924 The old lair, this takes me back. [chuckles] 502 00:24:47,925 --> 00:24:49,843 [exhales] Oh! 503 00:24:59,770 --> 00:25:02,898 Hello, Wandy. My old friend. 504 00:25:04,524 --> 00:25:05,943 [audience claps and cheers] 505 00:25:07,027 --> 00:25:08,819 You know, I thought you were just bringing me 506 00:25:08,820 --> 00:25:10,220 to another teacher who doesn't care. 507 00:25:10,656 --> 00:25:13,659 But, I was wrong. Thanks for believing in me. 508 00:25:13,867 --> 00:25:16,702 Of course. Us rebels, we gotta stick together. 509 00:25:16,703 --> 00:25:18,454 - [chuckles softly] - Look, I have to go back 510 00:25:18,455 --> 00:25:19,831 to the Tribunal. Are you good? 511 00:25:20,165 --> 00:25:21,833 Don't worry. I'll be okay here. 512 00:25:22,209 --> 00:25:24,253 Zippo zap, zippo zee, zippo zeria! 513 00:25:26,380 --> 00:25:28,924 [laughs, blows] Still got it. 514 00:25:30,259 --> 00:25:33,094 Okay, good, good, because there's one thing I, um, 515 00:25:33,095 --> 00:25:34,971 kind of sort of forgot to mention. 516 00:25:34,972 --> 00:25:37,223 Nothing big, just this teeny tiny, 517 00:25:37,224 --> 00:25:39,558 but very real prophecy about the end of the world, 518 00:25:39,559 --> 00:25:41,359 and Billie being the only one who can save us. 519 00:25:42,646 --> 00:25:44,146 The fate of the world is in her hands? 520 00:25:44,147 --> 00:25:45,524 [electricity zaps] 521 00:25:45,732 --> 00:25:47,276 Well, technically, it's in your hands. 522 00:25:48,944 --> 00:25:50,194 You make sure she's ready, 523 00:25:50,195 --> 00:25:52,572 and I'll figure out what she needs to be ready for. 524 00:25:53,365 --> 00:25:54,574 - Thank you. - [sighs] 525 00:25:56,076 --> 00:25:57,077 For everything. 526 00:25:58,036 --> 00:25:59,746 Russos always have each other's backs. 527 00:26:00,330 --> 00:26:02,332 - Well, don't blow it, J-Man. - [sighs] 528 00:26:07,671 --> 00:26:09,506 I've missed this. [chuckles softly] 529 00:26:15,095 --> 00:26:17,306 "Don't blow it, J-Man." What'd she mean by that? 530 00:26:18,348 --> 00:26:19,766 Uh, well, I, uh... 531 00:26:20,726 --> 00:26:22,326 I think we should get started. [chuckles] 532 00:26:22,769 --> 00:26:27,065 ? Everything is not what it seems ? 533 00:26:27,115 --> 00:26:31,665 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41722

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