subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Trump Hogs the Aux Cord at Town Hall & Harris’s Medical Records Show… Hay Fever The Daily Show.en

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,900 Welcome to The Daily Show. 2 00:00:01,901 --> 00:00:02,901 I'm Desi Lydic. 3 00:00:02,902 --> 00:00:05,002 We've got a great show for you tonight. 4 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,205 Kamala Harris drops her medical records. 5 00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:09,607 Donald Trump throws a one-man dance party, 6 00:00:09,609 --> 00:00:11,949 and Lewis Black tells undecided voters where 7 00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:13,615 they can shove their ballots. 8 00:00:13,613 --> 00:00:16,253 So let's get right into it with another installment 9 00:00:16,249 --> 00:00:19,619 of Indecision 2024. 10 00:00:19,619 --> 00:00:22,619 [CHEERS, APPLAUSE] 11 00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:27,361 With the election just three weeks from today, 12 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,230 the latest polls are as close as they 13 00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:31,799 can possibly be without touching, which makes 14 00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:34,468 it just that much hotter. 15 00:00:34,467 --> 00:00:36,207 And the candidates are doing everything 16 00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:38,172 they can to gain an advantage. 17 00:00:38,171 --> 00:00:40,711 Kamala Harris just taunted Donald Trump 18 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,677 by releasing her medical records, 19 00:00:42,675 --> 00:00:45,945 and then Trump tried to turn those records against her. 20 00:00:45,945 --> 00:00:47,545 REPORTER: According to her doctor's report, 21 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:50,517 she suffers from urticaria, defined as a rash of round, 22 00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:52,957 red welts on the skin that itch intensely, 23 00:00:52,952 --> 00:00:54,292 sometimes with dangerous swelling. 24 00:00:54,287 --> 00:00:56,587 She also has allergic rhinitis and 25 00:00:56,589 --> 00:00:59,829 allergic conjunctivitis, a very messy and dangerous situation. 26 00:00:59,826 --> 00:01:02,996 These are deeply serious conditions that clearly 27 00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:04,866 impact her functioning. 28 00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:06,734 [LAUGHTER] 29 00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,234 Oh my god! 30 00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:12,505 She has allergic rhinitis and conjunctivitis? 31 00:01:12,505 --> 00:01:14,675 The medical term for hay fever? 32 00:01:14,674 --> 00:01:15,704 [LAUGHTER] 33 00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:17,578 Is there a priest on call? 34 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:18,677 She doesn't have long. 35 00:01:18,678 --> 00:01:20,178 [LAUGHTER] 36 00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:22,720 That is how healthy Kamala Harris is. 37 00:01:22,715 --> 00:01:26,115 Donald Trump is reduced to calling her allergies a very 38 00:01:26,119 --> 00:01:28,419 messy and dangerous situation. 39 00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:31,321 Although, in fairness to Trump, in this case, 40 00:01:31,324 --> 00:01:33,294 a woman snee-- it's a woman sneezing, 41 00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:35,633 so that makes it more disgusting. 42 00:01:35,628 --> 00:01:37,998 A sneeze is the period of the face. 43 00:01:37,997 --> 00:01:39,837 [LAUGHTER] 44 00:01:42,135 --> 00:01:44,305 Now we-- 45 00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:47,304 [CHEERS, APPLAUSE] 46 00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:51,916 Now, we all know Donald Trump suffers 47 00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:54,011 from epidermal fragility, but we 48 00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:56,313 don't know anything more because he's never 49 00:01:56,316 --> 00:01:58,156 released his medical records. 50 00:01:58,151 --> 00:02:00,051 Perhaps one of his minions could explain 51 00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:01,693 why that's not a problem? 52 00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:03,758 I saw that Kamala Harris issued her medical records. 53 00:02:03,756 --> 00:02:04,756 Congratulations. 54 00:02:04,757 --> 00:02:07,757 Donald Trump's health is on display for the entire country 55 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,430 every hour of every day. 56 00:02:09,429 --> 00:02:12,429 He has more stamina and mental acumen and strength 57 00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:14,632 than any political figure in-- probably 58 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:16,304 in the history of the country that I can remember. 59 00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:18,072 [LAUGHTER] 60 00:02:22,942 --> 00:02:24,842 I'm sorry, Donald Trump has more 61 00:02:24,844 --> 00:02:28,614 strength and stamina than any politician in history? 62 00:02:28,615 --> 00:02:31,385 I'd put a hundred bucks on Jimmy Carter taking Trump 63 00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:34,724 in a push-up contest today. 64 00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:36,691 Today. 65 00:02:36,689 --> 00:02:38,689 [CHEERS, APPLAUSE] 66 00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:43,834 I don't know, maybe no-rizz Harry Potter over here 67 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:44,860 has a point. 68 00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:47,464 Trump doesn't need to release his medical records 69 00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:50,667 because his health is on full display every day. 70 00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:53,740 So let's see him whip out that mental acumen 71 00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:56,210 and wag it all around this weekend. 72 00:02:56,209 --> 00:03:01,049 Also, we have many Azurasians in our room. 73 00:03:01,047 --> 00:03:03,187 We have some incredible people in our room. 74 00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:08,859 Azurasians? 75 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,555 I can't believe Trump is inventing new races. 76 00:03:11,558 --> 00:03:13,228 He doesn't even like the old ones. 77 00:03:13,226 --> 00:03:15,166 [LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE] 78 00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:21,606 Man, this is just what we needed, 79 00:03:21,601 --> 00:03:23,871 another chance for Ronny Chieng to be in a movie. 80 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,910 [LAUGHTER] 81 00:03:25,905 --> 00:03:27,275 Guy's in everything. 82 00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:28,273 Everything. 83 00:03:28,274 --> 00:03:31,444 But, obviously, I don't want to hinge Trump's mental health 84 00:03:31,444 --> 00:03:33,244 on one word at a rally. 85 00:03:33,246 --> 00:03:35,346 He also did a town hall last night. 86 00:03:35,348 --> 00:03:38,548 One of the most notable and, honestly, strange stretches 87 00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:41,951 of the campaign we have seen, a Trump town hall that 88 00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:45,355 essentially just stopped in the middle, 89 00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:48,328 with him playing music and dancing on stage. 90 00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:51,298 He had only taken about four questions in what was supposed 91 00:03:51,297 --> 00:03:55,807 to be a town hall, and instead it was just him on stage, 92 00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:57,942 requesting various songs to be played 93 00:03:57,937 --> 00:04:00,977 and dancing for over half an hour. 94 00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:07,244 (SINGING) I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant 95 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:10,717 I went to the doctor and guess what he-- 96 00:04:10,717 --> 00:04:13,717 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] 97 00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:18,328 [ANDREA BOCELLI, "TIME TO SAY GOODBYE"] 98 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:30,267 [LAUGHTER] 99 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:34,440 I literally have no idea what just happened. 100 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,680 I don't know if he's on edibles or if I'm on edibles. 101 00:04:37,677 --> 00:04:39,177 [LAUGHTER] 102 00:04:39,178 --> 00:04:40,178 I'm just kidding. 103 00:04:40,179 --> 00:04:41,179 I know I'm on edibles. 104 00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:42,950 [LAUGHTER] 105 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,319 But let me just take a few minutes 106 00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:47,017 to walk you through this town hall, because, trust me, 107 00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:48,020 it's worth it. 108 00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:51,761 Trump was doing a town hall with puppy shooter Kristi Noem, 109 00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:53,128 and all was well. 110 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,726 He took four questions, and then a couple of people 111 00:04:55,728 --> 00:04:57,198 passed out from the heat. 112 00:04:57,196 --> 00:04:59,666 And Trump stopped the Q&A to make sure everyone 113 00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:02,366 was OK, which was great, although he was 114 00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:04,238 still very Trumpy about it. 115 00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:05,907 - They're both OK. - Yes. 116 00:05:05,905 --> 00:05:07,605 They're both-- they're both in good shape. 117 00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:08,807 And that's wonderful. 118 00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,578 Would anybody else like to faint? 119 00:05:10,576 --> 00:05:12,476 [LAUGHTER] 120 00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:17,148 Anyone else want to pull focus 121 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,220 with their medical emergency? 122 00:05:19,218 --> 00:05:20,918 Get it out of the way. 123 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:22,220 Calm down, Donald. 124 00:05:22,221 --> 00:05:23,521 No one was trying to faint. 125 00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:26,193 Trust me, no one wants to have a medical episode 126 00:05:26,192 --> 00:05:27,532 in front of Kristi Noem. 127 00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:29,767 [LAUGHTER] 128 00:05:29,762 --> 00:05:31,502 She's just looking for an excuse 129 00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:33,637 to take you to the gravel pit. 130 00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:36,603 She cocked her shotgun when she heard Kamala had allergies. 131 00:05:36,602 --> 00:05:38,172 [LAUGHTER] 132 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,811 But while the staff was attending to the situation, 133 00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:43,607 Trump decided to play some music to keep up morale. 134 00:05:43,609 --> 00:05:47,609 And this guy, this guy really knows what the people want. 135 00:05:47,613 --> 00:05:50,083 So we had a beautiful evening. 136 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,783 And I don't know if they could get this song up quickly, 137 00:05:52,785 --> 00:05:56,025 but if they could play "Ave Maria," if you can get it, 138 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:58,122 Justin, let's go, if you can. 139 00:05:58,124 --> 00:06:01,464 ["AVE MARIA" PLAYING] 140 00:06:04,797 --> 00:06:06,967 It's so beautiful, though, right? 141 00:06:06,966 --> 00:06:08,336 Listen to that. 142 00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:09,474 We have nice music. 143 00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:10,899 We're together. Not bad. 144 00:06:10,903 --> 00:06:11,903 Yes. 145 00:06:11,904 --> 00:06:12,904 Not bad. 146 00:06:12,905 --> 00:06:13,905 Thank you, Mr. President. 147 00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:17,346 Thank you, everybody, very much. 148 00:06:17,343 --> 00:06:18,343 Wow. 149 00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:19,414 Are "Ave Maria," huh? 150 00:06:19,412 --> 00:06:20,542 Are you sure you don't want to get 151 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:24,886 the crowd hyped with some Gregorian chants instead? 152 00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:28,284 All right, warming up the crowd, easing them into it. 153 00:06:28,287 --> 00:06:30,057 Then you hit him with the banger-- 154 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,926 a different version of the same song. 155 00:06:32,925 --> 00:06:35,325 If my guys can hear me, let's listen 156 00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:38,868 to Pavarotti sing "Ave Maria." 157 00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:39,965 Can you hear that? 158 00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:42,836 They gave me the "Ave Maria" with no voice. 159 00:06:42,835 --> 00:06:46,375 Put on Pavarotti singing "Ave Maria." 160 00:06:46,372 --> 00:06:47,372 Nice and loud. 161 00:06:47,373 --> 00:06:48,373 Turn it up louder. 162 00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:49,874 We want a little action here. 163 00:06:49,876 --> 00:06:51,246 Turn it up louder. 164 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:54,614 [PAVAROTTI, "AVE MARIA"] 165 00:06:56,082 --> 00:07:00,282 (SINGING) Ave Maria-- 166 00:07:08,227 --> 00:07:10,127 [LAUGHTER] 167 00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:12,099 [CHEERS, APPLAUSE] 168 00:07:19,071 --> 00:07:21,711 Trump is just lapping it up. 169 00:07:21,707 --> 00:07:24,577 Why does Trump know so much about "Ave Maria"? 170 00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:27,777 Was it used in a McDonald's commercial? 171 00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:29,320 Man, he really loves that song. 172 00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:30,815 Who's going to tell him it's about a virgin? 173 00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:32,487 [LAUGHTER] 174 00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:34,685 And look at poor Kristi Noem. 175 00:07:34,687 --> 00:07:35,787 I gotta say-- 176 00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:39,258 I gotta say, this is the most I've ever related to her. 177 00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:41,058 Because we have all been in a situation 178 00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:44,230 where a guy mansplains his Spotify playlist to you. 179 00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:45,670 [LAUGHTER] 180 00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:48,035 So that was the Pavarotti version. 181 00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:51,334 Now let me play you a live version Phish did at Red Rocks. 182 00:07:51,337 --> 00:07:52,977 [LAUGHTER] 183 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,440 Then poor Kristi tries to get things back on track 184 00:07:57,443 --> 00:07:59,243 so she can ask more questions, but Trump 185 00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:01,445 was just in full DJ mode. 186 00:08:01,447 --> 00:08:03,447 Let's not do any more questions. 187 00:08:03,449 --> 00:08:04,819 Let's just listen to music. 188 00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:07,617 Let's make it into a music. 189 00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:10,560 Who the hell wants to hear questions, right? 190 00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:12,926 [LAUGHTER] 191 00:08:12,925 --> 00:08:15,295 I love how everyone's always criticizing 192 00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:17,934 Kamala for not being specific with her policies. 193 00:08:17,930 --> 00:08:19,930 Meanwhile, Trump's like, shh, shh, 194 00:08:19,932 --> 00:08:21,932 shh, no questions, no talking. 195 00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:24,234 We're just going to vibe for a while. 196 00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:27,037 Just going to let my body do the talking. 197 00:08:27,039 --> 00:08:28,779 [LAUGHTER] 198 00:08:31,043 --> 00:08:34,283 And if you're wondering, after 40 minutes of this, 199 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,580 did they ever actually get back to answering questions? 200 00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:38,753 Almost. 201 00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:42,451 So if this has been an honor tonight. 202 00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,855 We could do another question or two if you'd like, 203 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:45,857 but probably-- 204 00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:47,558 [CHEERING] 205 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:48,730 Do you want to do one? 206 00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:49,728 Do you want to do it? 207 00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:50,759 Let's go. 208 00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:51,863 Let's go. 209 00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:55,804 You know, it's-- but it ends so beautifully. 210 00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:57,241 How about this? 211 00:08:57,236 --> 00:09:02,376 We'll play "YMCA," and you'll go home. 212 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,745 (SINGING) Young man, there's no need to feel down 213 00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:07,585 [LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE] 214 00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:12,386 Probably a good idea to shut down questions, 215 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,455 since I'm pretty sure the next one would have been, 216 00:09:14,453 --> 00:09:18,293 uh, hi, sir, what the [BLEEP] is going on? 217 00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:19,931 For more on the state of this race, 218 00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:21,866 let's turn to The Daily Show Election Center 219 00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:23,091 with Michael Kosta. 220 00:09:23,095 --> 00:09:24,995 [CHEERS, APPLAUSE] 221 00:09:31,771 --> 00:09:35,871 Michael, how can Trump be acting this unhinged 222 00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:38,045 and not be dropping in all the polls? 223 00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:39,074 It's simple, Desi. 224 00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:40,848 It's what we in the polling business 225 00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:44,316 call the scary-to-funny ratio. 226 00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:47,487 You see, everyone can tell that Trump is clearly losing 227 00:09:47,486 --> 00:09:49,956 his mind, which can be scary. 228 00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:56,066 But as long as it's more funny than scary, then it's fine. 229 00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:59,162 For example, last week, Trump lied about FEMA's hurricane 230 00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:02,935 response, and now armed men are trying to murder FEMA workers. 231 00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,105 Terrifying. 232 00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:07,643 But he also jerkoff-danced to "Ave Maria" 233 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:11,540 for 40 minutes, which is pretty funny, so it 234 00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:13,214 balances out all the murder. 235 00:10:13,212 --> 00:10:14,482 [LAUGHTER] 236 00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:17,421 [CHEERS, APPLAUSE] 237 00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:24,061 No, that-- that shouldn't balance out. 238 00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:27,296 He also threatened to shut down the entire news outlets 239 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,363 if he gets elected. 240 00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:29,361 Yeah, yeah. 241 00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:31,502 And that's so scary, right? 242 00:10:31,497 --> 00:10:34,497 He wants to ban networks like ABC, 243 00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:38,370 but then he called that reporter George Slapadapoulos, 244 00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:39,841 which is hilarious. 245 00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:41,879 So maybe we should ban ABC. 246 00:10:41,874 --> 00:10:42,874 See? 247 00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:45,875 The ratio works. 248 00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:47,678 How could voters think like that? 249 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:50,820 Something can be funny and scary at the same time. 250 00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,416 Well, actually, no. 251 00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:55,388 Voters can only handle one feeling at a time. 252 00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:57,328 We're-- we're simple creatures. 253 00:10:57,323 --> 00:11:00,463 It's like when I saw baboons at the zoo this weekend. 254 00:11:00,459 --> 00:11:02,129 Man, they're scary. 255 00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:04,028 But then you see that their butts are red, 256 00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:05,430 and that is so funny. 257 00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:07,231 [LAUGHS] 258 00:11:08,634 --> 00:11:11,904 [APPLAUSE] 259 00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:14,975 So Trump just gets away with all this? 260 00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:16,004 Oh-- oh, no, no. 261 00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:17,348 It works for Biden, too. 262 00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:19,583 Remember for a while, it seemed like he 263 00:11:19,578 --> 00:11:21,678 was cognitively impaired, which is super scary for a 264 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,111 president, right? 265 00:11:23,115 --> 00:11:28,085 But then he fell off a bike, and not even a moving bike. 266 00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:29,857 A parked bike. 267 00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:32,495 And that is undeniably hilarious. 268 00:11:32,491 --> 00:11:34,631 So we let him keep the nuclear codes. 269 00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:36,397 Maybe he'll nuke that bike, right? 270 00:11:36,395 --> 00:11:37,795 It's just fun. 271 00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:41,567 But then at the debate, Biden stopped being funny, 272 00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:43,737 and that threw off the ratio. 273 00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:47,106 And that's when it got scary. 274 00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:48,136 OK, OK. 275 00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:50,180 So what if Kamala Harris told a few jokes? 276 00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:51,406 Oh, no. 277 00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:52,810 The ratio doesn't work for women. 278 00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:53,812 The voters-- 279 00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:54,813 [CHEERS, APPLAUSE] 280 00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:56,384 Voters won't accept that. 281 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,222 Yuck. 282 00:11:58,217 --> 00:11:59,187 OK. 283 00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:01,125 But last week, Trump threatened to use 284 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,620 the military against Americans, calling them the enemy within. 285 00:12:04,623 --> 00:12:06,923 I mean, surely that's only scary. 286 00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:08,296 Yes, 100%. 287 00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:10,494 And our model here showed that that 288 00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:13,996 made him lose the swing states and then lose the election. 289 00:12:13,999 --> 00:12:17,169 But then he said the word "Azurasians." 290 00:12:17,169 --> 00:12:21,009 So the model now shows Trump winning the election 291 00:12:21,006 --> 00:12:24,006 by 900 electoral votes. 292 00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:25,009 No. 293 00:12:25,010 --> 00:12:27,210 No, that model is crazy, Kosta. 294 00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:29,583 It is crazy, but in a funny way. 295 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,222 I mean, look, I put Greenland in it. 296 00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:33,958 That's so funny. 297 00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:35,523 [LAUGHTER] 298 00:12:35,521 --> 00:12:37,221 I mean, yeah, that is kind of funny. 299 00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:38,223 Right? 300 00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:41,164 It's like, how did it get there? 301 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,600 Anyway, I gotta go to the hospital 302 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,135 and get my mpox vaccine. 303 00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:47,430 I got a-- I got bitten by a baboon at the zoo, so-- 304 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,903 Oh my god, Michael, that's so scary. 305 00:12:49,902 --> 00:12:52,602 It is scary, until I saw my big red butt. 306 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,245 [LAUGHTER] 307 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,110 You're right. That's hilarious. 308 00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:57,208 Michael Kosta, everyone. 20935