Original subtitles

♪

Time? 9:06.

Turning 9 ohhhhhh...

Okay, I mistimed that.

Power move-- unplug the phone, walk away.

The Governor of California is scheduled to call.

Do not unplug the phone.

Why do you even schedule a call?

Isn't the point of the phone

that you just reach out whenever you want to?

What's next, scheduling a text? [ Laughs ]

I say, "What's next, scheduling a"--

It's okay, buddy. We heard you.

I mean, he could be calling to pat Courtney on the back.

He could be calling to nullify the election results.

Oh, man. I don't want it to be that,

but a part of me knows that it is.

[ Telephone rings ] Oh!

Okay, when I pick up,

just let him overhear important conversation.

Hello? Yes, Courtney Rose speaking.

Hi, Governor! It's a pleasure.

Mayor Rose, thank you for solving the opioid epidemic!

...to hear you say that.

All right, you take care. Bye.

[ Sighs ]

Wh-- So?

Nothing? What do you mean?

Courtney, I need to know what he said!

Huh? Oh, the Governor?

He's making an official visit to Fort Grey.

Oh! He's coming here?! Oh, m--

[ Laughs ] Oh, man, that figures.

I spend my whole life not doing crimes,

I had a pardon waiting on me the whole time.

Yeah.

♪ Do somethin' with it, come on ♪

♪ Do somethin' with it ♪

[ Sighs ] Okay, you guys, this is a huge opportunity.

Governor Filucci is the real deal.

I mean, he served in the Gulf War.

He speaks Punjabi.

He authored a crossword puzzle for "The New York Times".

I mean...

[ Chuckles ] Amateur.

I mean, come on.

Friendship with the Governor means direct connection

to the most powerful guy in California. Yeah.

Oh, in other words, being friends with power

is actually better than having it.

He's the Gov. He's got cash-- cash solves problems.

With one snap of the finger, this guy can help fix

every busted-up street in Fort Grey.

Can he find a couple offices for two guys in the bullpen?

Sorry. Lucky to be here. Grateful to serve.

All you have to do is forge a bond,

do a little schmoozing, a bit of canoodling.

You know, don't be afraid to hobnob.

Hey, for the sake of your future children,

I pray that "nerd" skips a generation.

Can you pull this off?

He convinced an entire city that he should be the mayor.

Him-- this guy-- zero qualifications.

Okay. My man.

Thank you for my backstory, T.K. And yes, I got this.

All I got to do is be me and let the rest fall into place.

Let Courtney be Courtney.

I think we should take the Governor

on a real, authentic tour of the city.

Show him that Fort Grey is a city worth investing in.

Man, I still can't believe

that the Governor's actually coming to see you.

To see us! None of this would be happening without my boys.

Uh... girl here.

You know, one smart female-lady.

Let's not refer to women as girls.

Mm. Chicks hate that.

♪

Dina: You know, these shirts are the best.

Just wish they could be a little itchier.

Well, you know they do that on purpose.

The itchy workers are always movin'.

Oh! Every time I see this, it just makes me so happy.

Yes, I know.

It's a very special photo

of you and the Postmaster General

that I've seen every day for the past two weeks.

I never even expected to get a photo with him,

but he was so nice about it.

I know, Krystal. He stepped out of line

at the grocery store to give it to you.

Well, I don't mean to go on and on,

but, you know, it was exciting.

You know, you don't get that feeling

being around powerful people every day.

Well, I do. I live with the Mayor.

Courtney's more of a local celebrity, isn't he?

♪

Aw, this is happening.

Okay, we got a two-hour window to wow the Governor.

Where do we take him?

Gladys' All Day Café--

world-famous amongst Fort Greyans.

You got to take him down to the chess tables at Douglas Park.

It's the perfect combination of depressing and scary.

Or we could start at the decommissioned train yard.

With a little love from the Gov,

it could be the recommissioned train yard.

Ah! Three Fort Grey institutions.

These are all really good ideas.

Unfortunately, we only have enough time to do...

[mumbling]

all of them.

[ Laughter ]

He got me! He got me!

Hey, man, you're gonna make a real good dad one day.

♪

Oh, hey.

How's the planning going for the Governor's visit?

Ma, it was major. [ Laughs ]

I get to show the Governor what the city's all about--

pure, unadulterated Fort Grey.

This visit is going to do a lot for the city.

I feel like I'm really finding my stride.

Oh, that's great to hear, hon.

It's also hard to hear because I realize now

that you could have done better in school had you applied yourself.

Um, baby, can you do me a favor?

Spider in the tub, a cockroach in the tub--

which one am I killing in the tub?

No, baby, I just need a photo with the Governor.

Sure?

But when did you become a fan of the "Filooch"?

I mean, he-- he marched with the grape pickers.

He-- He balanced the budget.

Okay, fine, I just need to best Krystal in a competition

that I did not begin, but I will finish. Krystal.

She won't stop talking about her photo with the Postmaster General.

The Notorious PMG? Why don't you take a picture with me?

I remain impressed with your accomplishments

every single day. Thanks, Ma.

But seriously, I need that damn photo.

♪

Okay, just got off the phone with Chief Fox.

She approved the street closures for the Governor's motorcade.

My guess-- After one waffle,

he'll be searching Zillow for vacation homes.

About that. So I just got off the phone with the Governor's office.

He said he really loves our itinerary.

Very impressive.

But... he doesn't want to do it.

Wait. So he's not coming?

Lemme guess-- "Stomach issues"?

Been there... today.

No, no, no, he's coming. He still wants to meet me.

He actually wants to take me skeet shooting.

Sounds kinda fun.

You take a shotgun and shoot little clay Frisbees in the air.

So, where exactly in Fort Grey

are you gonna be murdering these little Frisbees?

Oh, he's got a place. Like, a-a sports club,

about, you know, 40 miles out.

Wait, wait, wait. So, it's not even in the city?

So, how do you get "authentic Fort Grey"

if you're not in Fort Grey?

Guys, don't worry about it, okay?

It doesn't matter where I meet the Governor. It's me.

I'm gonna bring authentic Fort Grey to him.

The Governor's office just dropped these off.

You have your shooting vest. Hmm? Okay?

And your "Re-elect Filucci" cap.

That's what you always wear in Fort Grey, right, Courtney?

Yeah.

Because you don't actually wear that.

What he means to say is, this is not authentic.

Got it, T.K. Okay.

Guys.

I know how this looks.

And it's not exactly the city tour that we had in mind.

But if I can get the Filooch to fix one run-down building

or fish one beer can out of our river, then it's worth it.

Guy seems more into mugging with the "cool rapper mayor"

than helping a city he passed on the freeway.

Jermaine, it's called "playing the game."

Well, Courtney should be...

Changing the game.

I know, but sometimes outsiders need insiders.

Guys... I get that I look ridiculous.

I mean, mostly, I do have a certain knack

for owning unique styles.

[ Groans ] My point is,

I'm taking one for the team, one for my people.

T.K.: For your people?

Brother, we left your people miles ago.

You're like Moses who didn't bring anybody.

"Let my people stay."

[ Chuckles ] I'm-- I'm sure that's your next activity.

[ Imitates basketball swish ]

Mayor Rose!

Here we go.

"Mayor Rose!"

Governor, it is such a pleasure to meet--

[ Laughs ]

I appreciate you meeting me here.

As you know, I'm very committed

to California sporting traditions.

Let's get you a gun.

All right. [ Chuckles ]

♪ Do somethin' with it, come on ♪

Oh! [ Laughs ] Oh, sorry.

There we go.

Thanks for doing this.

Oh, I'm happy to do it.

I know you'd do the same for me.

All right, thank you very much everyone.

Let's go bust some clay.

Yo, if he doesn't make it, I'm the designated survivor.

Really?

Are you serious?

Pull!

Oh! Call me "Courtney Palin"!

[ Laughs ] Not really, though.

Look at him. I know.

How does he look good in that orange vest?

Oh, you were talking about-- Yeah, I'm still mad at him.

Hey!

How'd you get headphones?

Like from a school play where you played Amelia Earhart?

I am an excellent marksman.

Val, you don't actually own a gun, do you?

Mnh-mnh.

You would not believe the security here.

I had to show three forms of I.D.

Like ISIS can't print out a buncha library cards.

Courtney!

Hey, Ma! Look, I got a gun!

Yeah, I see it, baby.

Hi, I'm Dina Rose.

Very nice to meet you.

Can we take a picture later?

[ Laughs ] I like his hair.

Pull!

Hey! Look at this. The kid's a natural, huh?

Boom! [ Laughs ] Ohh!

Now, wait. Is he faking having a good time

or having having a good time?

If that boy is faking it, he's a regular Meryl Streep.

Why Meryl Streep out of all the actors?

I respect her career.

[ Applause ]

Sir. Well done, Mr. Mayor.

[ Laughs ] Whoo.

Hi. Courtney.

That was amazing. You killed it.

I know, right? Once I got into my groove,

I was hitting more than I was missing.

No, the Governor! A handshake and a hug?

That's unheard of.

I'm sorry I ever doubted your charms.

You know what goes great with gunpowder and shattered clay?

Waffles!

So grab your boy, stuff him in the trunk,

and let's show him a city worth investing in.

Ah, you know what? He just invited me back to the clubhouse for a steam.

Apparently, it's really good for the shooting muscles.

Man, in Fort Grey, we just call them shoulders.

Valentina: A steam?

Naked male bonding is the cornerstone of American politics.

Why don't you guys come, too? It'll be fun.

Three kids from Fort Grey getting a shvitz.

Come on!

Think he means "shvitzed."

♪

You can't tell me this isn't nice. Mm.

Man, you know, I'm more of a sauna kind of guy, personally.

Well, actually, I've never been in a sauna,

but I will in the future.

Guys, you ever think 10 years ago

we would have access to a very fancy, sweaty closet?

What?!

[ Door opens ]

Peter!

This place reminds me a lot of my apartment,

just less humid.

[ Laughs ] Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it.

Looks like you got kind of a full house here.

So, I'll tell you what, I'll let you fellas finish.

I'll come back.

No, I think these guys are all steamed out

like a bag of broccoli in the microwave.

[ Laughs ]

Well, thank you, Mr. Mayor, for giving us a glimpse

into the finer things outside of Fort Grey.

Yes, this has been very... enlightening.

♪

You have a good day, Governor.

Enjoy. Peter: It's a pleasure. Uh-huh.

Good friends.

[ Laughs ] Always good to have friends.

Yeah.

I've steamed with governors, senators,

and captains of industry. Hmm.

I've even taken a group shower

with an entire delegation from Argentina after a soccer match.

So [chuckles] Mr. Governor,

I know I'm new to politics,

but I also know that first you play the game

and then you "play the game."

What was the first "game"?

Well, you got a politically useful photo

of an up-and-coming mayor.

[ Chuckles ] What can I do for you, Mayor Rose?

Fort Grey is a struggling city, all right?

And I know we're eligible for many of your programs,

but for some reason, we always find ourselves

at the bottom of the pile.

Well, my focus lately has been environmental.

Oh, well, lucky you, because our river

is like a port-o-potty at Coachella.

All right, I'll put together a task force.

You can tout that.

Task force?

Come on, Governor. We both know what that means.

You might as well have just said an "exploratory committee."

No. I need a real commitment.

I got to say, I like your style.

Get me naked in a box, go for the jugular.

[ Laughs ]

♪

Okay.

We're about to kick off a program of urban renewal grants.

Consider Fort Grey taken care of.

Thank you so much, Governor. This means a lot.

Thank you.

Huh? Hmm.

Morning.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, yeah, that's just me and Governor Filucci.

He's a really nice man.

You know, I've been thinking about maybe taking it down.

Whoa. Is this real? Mm-hmm.

You met the Governor?

Well, girl, I'm gonna go and get a little water

before we start the day.

♪

Got a state grant for the city, got my mom her picture,

and got to sit naked next to the same man

the president of China sat naked next to.

Well, I've got to hand it to you,

you killed it on all counts.

In the future, I don't require any nudity context.

I am going to give you begrudging respect.

Come on, Jermaine.

You can't admit playing the game

might have been a little worthwhile?

You guys aren't still pissed about the steam room, right?

It wasn't that great. I got all pruney.

No, that's not it.

You're trending.

"Up-and-coming Mayor muscles big-shot Governor,

scores impressive win for the common man"?

Not exactly.

Well, the high-profile meeting with Governor Filucci

has brought a high level of scrutiny

on Fort Grey's young mayor,

who finds himself in hot water

after one of his controversial rap songs resurfaced.

[ Sighs ]

[ Rapping ] ♪ Don't vote ♪

♪ Lie to cops ♪

♪ Steal bikes ♪

♪ Don't vote ♪

♪ [Bleep] that [bleep] don't matter ♪

♪ What you got in your pocket, T.K.? ♪

♪ Uh, not a [bleep] thing ♪

to the [bleep] kings ♪

you ain't my president ♪

♪ I ain't vote for [bleep] ♪

from a controversial mayor.

And for those who just...

Well, yeah, we had all that cheap recording equipment.

Not the song, okay? This is a political crisis.

Man, brings back memories, right?

I remember when we wrote that song.

Yeah. It was the first time that we actually

got to write lyrics with Courtney.

I mean, "Stick your finger to the government."

Hello? This is a-a P.R. disaster,

not a trip down memory lane.

Hey, there's the Filooch.

I found Mayor Rose's song highly offensive, all right?

If he wants any support from me for the people of Fort Grey,

he'll apologize and make it clear

he doesn't endorse the message in those vile lyrics.

Apologize for what? He was in high school!

Yeah, Courtney is not going to apologize

for an autobiographical rap, right?

Courtney?

♪

I can't believe Filucci's playing me like this.

I thought he liked me. We steamed.

He does. That's why he's giving you a lifeline.

You apologize, we move on.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. A lifeline?

No. That's a one-way ticket to sellout city.

With extra legroom.

And a little passive-aggressive curtain

that separates the ballers from the regular people.

Okay.

Just because Val apparently packs heat

doesn't mean you should heed her advice.

Courtney, this is politics. Clean and simple.

Unless you want to explain to the people of Fort Grey

that they're not getting support from their governor

because their mayor won't just apologize.

♪

Call the press conference.

Courtney.

♪ Do somethin' with it, come on ♪

♪ Nothin' was given to us, so we gonna go get it ♪

♪ Winnin' don't matter if you don't do somethin' with it ♪

♪

[ Sighs ] I got this.

Don't just shake him awake.

You got to ease him into the day.

Do it gently.

[ Yells ] Wake up!

[ Breathing heavily ]

You coming with us.

Guys, where are we going?

I got to get ready for the press conference.

You know, kidnapping a mayor is a crime.

Kidnapping anybody is a crime.

Okay, okay. Look, look, look.

I know you guys are not happy with me.

But if apologizing for a stupid song

is what it takes to get in good standing

with the Governor of California,

then it's worth it.

Courtney, shut up and get in the car!

Where are we going?

Look, watch your head.

[ Engine starts ]

♪

Waffles? Thanks, guys. I needed this.

No. No, no, no, no.

What you need is to see the real Fort Grey.

We have to show you who you are and where you came from.

Because the old Courtney Rose

would have never even considered apologizing for his lyrics.

Guys, can we please continue this on the inside?

I can literally smell maple syrup coming from the vent.

No! We got a lot more to see.

And that's not maple syrup. That's my new hand lotion.

♪

Okay, okay. I see what's going on.

We're taking the same tour of Fort Grey

we had planned for the Governor.

These are the people counting on you to represent them, man.

You speak for them.

And you should care more

about their opinions than the Governor's.

I mean, unless you want to be some pawn

in-- in-- in the Governor's upright, uh, horsey-horsey,

uh, fun-time castleman game.

Look, man, I don't know nothing about chess, okay?

I'm more of a mahjong kind of guy.

But you get the point. Moving on.

♪

What is this? This isn't the train yard.

This wasn't on the Governor's tour.

Yeah, well, it's a part of your tour.

Why is the Resource Center part of my tour?

You don't remember your own lyrics?

We suffer while the politicians take all the perks.

They keep telling us the Resource Center is in the works.

The crooks in the government think they so clever.

They say, "It's coming soon." We know it's coming never.

T.K., we wrote those lyrics 10 years ago.

They told us this is the place that we could go

for job training, computer skills, family counseling.

"Everything you need for a chance to succeed."

And they put this sign up and said that help was coming soon.

And it's still not done.

Now, how many people in this city you think

feel the same way right now that we felt back then?

And if you apologize for this song,

you are denying the fact that this problem still exists today.

♪

Huh.

I see you took your photo down.

You know, it's a good idea. Maybe I'll take mine down, too.

Couldn't even let me enjoy meeting the Postmaster General.

Krystal, I love you to death, but no human being

can listen to that many stories about the Postmaster General.

Geez, Dina, you can't let me get one thing?

You have everything.

Am I missing something?

We-- We both work at the post office, right?

We both wear shirts made out of straw and poison oak.

You have it all.

Okay, I know it's gonna sound crazy,

but I've always been a little jealous of you.

You've raised this amazing son,

then you've helped raise two of his friends

that love you more than life itself.

I mean, Jermaine dresses kind of crazy, but...

Jermaine just is a snazzy dresser.

But you have a full life.

And you live it fearlessly.

That is the nicest thing anybody's ever said to me.

And it's definitely the first time anybody's told me

that I have it all.

Honey, nobody has it all.

Not you, not me.

Jimmy Kimmel.

Yeah. Jimmy Kimmel's got it all.

Mm-hmm.

And we... have each other.

So why don't you go on and put your picture back up?

'Cause I know you didn't throw it away.

I did.

But I got three copies and a digital master.

That's my girl. I know you did!

See? Come on, girl. Put it up.

Courtney: Good morning.

I, uh, called this press conference

so that I could apologize

for the video that surfaced yesterday.

But I'm not gonna do that.

[ Reporters shouting ]

By now, we've all seen the video that me and my friends made.

We wrote that song because at the time

it expressed what we felt--

disenfranchised, cynical, without any hope

that the government was ever going to make our lives better.

We wrote those lyrics

because we felt that the system had let us down.

Right now, in this city,

there are kids who feel the exact same way that we did.

Their feelings, their problems are very real.

And if I apologize for that,

then I'm no different than any other politician

that's pretending that things aren't the way that they are.

I'm not gonna do that to the city of Fort Grey,

and I'm not gonna do that to those kids.

Because as long as I can remember...

I've been one of them.

Thank you.

[ Reporters shouting ]

♪

Tight squeeze, huh?

Damn "compact-only" spots!

[ Chuckles ]

Look, I know you're still mad about the speech.

I loved it. Hm.

And I'm proud of you.

And if the Governor hates it, then screw him.

You heard from his office and he didn't hate it.

That is correct. About 20 minutes ago. Mm-hmm.

Ah. They said he called you a natural.

But even if he didn't, I still would have given it up for you.

Mm-hmm. I swear!

I suggest you move out the way.

My rear-view camera is broken.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Brakes screech, horn honks ]

Everyone's trying to take the mayor down this week!

[ Gunshots ]

Damn! That girl is fierce!

That's like something out of a James Bond movie.

Yo, I will never ever not return her stapler.

I am inclined to give her my wallet and jewelry.

You guys want to see me hit him between the eyes?

I mean, yeah, you got the gun. I feel--

[ Gunshot ]