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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,155 --> 00:00:10,994 ♪Subtitles: Arpan Bhatia, MohdAsriDungun, Gunjan♪ XQ2☻ 2 00:01:46,442 --> 00:01:48,833 How many stars are in the sky? 3 00:01:49,371 --> 00:01:51,724 Have you ever tried to count them? 4 00:01:52,258 --> 00:01:55,229 If you started today, it would take 6000 years to 5 00:01:55,232 --> 00:01:58,907 count the stars in our galaxy alone. 6 00:02:00,317 --> 00:02:02,613 But how many galaxies are there? 7 00:02:02,778 --> 00:02:06,264 Scientist say perhaps more than 2 billon. 8 00:02:06,822 --> 00:02:08,338 Isn't it possible 9 00:02:08,455 --> 00:02:11,080 that out of so many galaxies 10 00:02:11,149 --> 00:02:14,107 there is one planet out there 11 00:02:14,180 --> 00:02:15,821 where people like us exist. 12 00:02:16,348 --> 00:02:17,914 Just as we are traveling 13 00:02:17,975 --> 00:02:20,413 to the moon and Mars looking for them,☻ 14 00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:23,414 they may also be reaching out 15 00:02:23,492 --> 00:02:25,683 looking for us. 16 00:04:23,086 --> 00:04:26,067 ♪ [radio] 17 00:06:13,919 --> 00:06:15,641 The thief stole... 18 00:06:15,706 --> 00:06:18,624 the remote device used to signal the space ship. 19 00:06:18,707 --> 00:06:21,503 Without it he can't go back home 20 00:06:22,505 --> 00:06:24,661 He doesn't know our language 21 00:06:25,038 --> 00:06:27,099 and has no friends here. 22 00:06:27,188 --> 00:06:29,152 Alone, helpless, 23 00:06:29,429 --> 00:06:31,632 he thought of only one thing: 24 00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:33,945 How can I go home now? 25 00:06:34,278 --> 00:06:40,401 PK - peekay = drunk (Hindi pun) 26 00:06:56,164 --> 00:06:59,537 ♪ Life is running and I go behind it 27 00:06:59,624 --> 00:07:01,813 ♪ New paths, all new turns 28 00:07:02,258 --> 00:07:05,095 ♪ To go somewhere far away 29 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:07,532 ♪ Heart dreams 30 00:07:08,174 --> 00:07:11,056 ♪ Who knows when 31 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:14,318 ♪ or which stranger, I will find 32 00:07:14,342 --> 00:07:17,103 ♪ Who touches my heart 33 00:07:17,127 --> 00:07:20,095 ♪ And makes me smile, and cry. 34 00:07:39,190 --> 00:07:41,636 Extra tickets! Anyone, extra ticket? 35 00:07:44,305 --> 00:07:46,152 Sorry, I raised my hand first. 36 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,614 But I shouted for it first, then you... 37 00:07:49,141 --> 00:07:51,922 Look I'm big fan of Harivansh Rai Bacchan 38 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,747 But I'm also a big fan of Amitabh Bacchan. 39 00:07:55,154 --> 00:07:58,208 I started reading his poems when I was 10. 40 00:07:58,490 --> 00:08:01,529 I memorized his dialogues when I was 5, before I could read. 41 00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,497 Who'll take it? Have you decided? 42 00:08:03,559 --> 00:08:06,052 Give it to me. He knows nothing of poetry. 43 00:08:06,145 --> 00:08:07,323 100 euros. 44 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,560 A 40 euro ticket for 100?! 45 00:08:09,630 --> 00:08:11,544 Black-market poetry?! 46 00:08:11,609 --> 00:08:13,448 I stood in line 6 hours. 47 00:08:13,589 --> 00:08:14,786 Time is money. 48 00:08:21,660 --> 00:08:23,370 Go, listen to your dialogues. 49 00:08:23,446 --> 00:08:25,699 No, you go ahead. Ladies first. 50 00:08:27,996 --> 00:08:30,541 Just a sec. Why don't we share a ticket? 51 00:08:30,661 --> 00:08:33,482 You can listen to poetry, before the interval. 52 00:08:33,544 --> 00:08:36,504 Afterwards I can watch Amitabh, please. 53 00:08:38,980 --> 00:08:40,809 It's a damn good idea! 54 00:08:43,299 --> 00:08:45,161 10..20..30..40 55 00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:46,793 - 50 - 6 56 00:08:46,892 --> 00:08:48,636 - 96 - 96. 57 00:08:49,685 --> 00:08:51,878 96. Give us a discount, friend? 58 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,292 We're from the same country. Up India, bro! 59 00:08:55,346 --> 00:08:58,700 "Vande Matram"... 100 euro. [I praise thee, Mother (India)] 60 00:09:00,946 --> 00:09:03,302 Extra ticket! Anybody, extra ticket! 61 00:09:04,305 --> 00:09:08,092 Uncle, could you lend us 4 euros, please? 62 00:09:08,342 --> 00:09:10,911 Take my watch, until I pay you back, tomorrow. 63 00:09:10,997 --> 00:09:13,069 Please uncle, it's the last ticket. 64 00:09:13,389 --> 00:09:16,708 But it's a full house. No more tickets, now. 65 00:09:16,966 --> 00:09:19,294 No uncle, he's scalping tickets. 66 00:09:19,380 --> 00:09:21,107 That black-marketeer! 67 00:09:21,442 --> 00:09:22,630 Scoundrel! 68 00:09:22,888 --> 00:09:25,513 His kind gives our country a bad name. 69 00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:26,552 True. 70 00:09:26,613 --> 00:09:29,724 Wait here, child, I'll get you the ticket. 71 00:09:31,139 --> 00:09:32,407 Thank you. 72 00:09:41,628 --> 00:09:43,042 Yes! 73 00:09:54,497 --> 00:09:55,591 Uncle .. 74 00:09:55,747 --> 00:09:56,513 Who? 75 00:09:56,577 --> 00:09:58,591 What do you mean who? My ticket! 76 00:09:58,767 --> 00:09:59,943 Oh... Ticket. 77 00:10:00,036 --> 00:10:01,177 100 euro. 78 00:10:01,302 --> 00:10:03,021 You bloody cheat! 79 00:10:03,146 --> 00:10:05,711 You fraud, liar! Capitalist! 80 00:10:05,813 --> 00:10:07,266 Mind your language! 81 00:10:07,305 --> 00:10:09,686 Mind your language, to hell ! 82 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,213 Security! 83 00:10:12,274 --> 00:10:15,122 Go see your "Madhushala", now, old jack-ass! 84 00:10:15,193 --> 00:10:16,826 Security! Security! 85 00:10:17,771 --> 00:10:19,252 Let's go, let's go! 86 00:10:19,471 --> 00:10:20,581 I'll fix you! 87 00:10:20,659 --> 00:10:22,560 - Go go go. - Get that cursing girl! 88 00:10:22,661 --> 00:10:25,263 If I catch that old jack-ass... 89 00:10:38,974 --> 00:10:42,097 Old people, nowadays! What a generation! 90 00:10:42,415 --> 00:10:45,176 Just let it go. Let bygones be bygones. 91 00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:46,802 How can I let it go? 92 00:10:46,888 --> 00:10:49,538 He's enjoying poetry and here I am... 93 00:10:49,605 --> 00:10:50,788 Forget it. 94 00:10:51,832 --> 00:10:55,068 "Our memories sting but for a moment." 95 00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:58,521 "As the vast, beckoning futures awaits." 96 00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:01,252 I can write a bit, too. 97 00:11:01,567 --> 00:11:03,917 Really? Very good. Continue. 98 00:11:04,486 --> 00:11:06,308 No, I couldn't. 99 00:11:07,197 --> 00:11:08,880 If you hear the rest of it 100 00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:10,818 you'll end up proposing to me. 101 00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:12,896 Are you crazy? 102 00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:14,188 No really! 103 00:11:14,344 --> 00:11:16,474 Your favorite poet Harivansh Rai Bacchan 104 00:11:16,591 --> 00:11:19,427 met a woman one morning, recited a poem to her 105 00:11:19,528 --> 00:11:21,950 and by evening she married him. 106 00:11:22,039 --> 00:11:23,466 - Really? - Oh, yeah! 107 00:11:23,658 --> 00:11:26,357 And now, he has fathered a legend... 108 00:11:26,616 --> 00:11:28,161 Amitabh Bacchan. 109 00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:31,599 Jaggu. 110 00:11:31,987 --> 00:11:33,060 Jaggu? 111 00:11:33,582 --> 00:11:34,661 My name. 112 00:11:34,971 --> 00:11:37,029 Short, for the odd name my parents gave me. 113 00:11:37,101 --> 00:11:38,237 Jagat Jannani. 114 00:11:38,377 --> 00:11:41,017 I got teased at school, so I shortened it. 115 00:11:41,137 --> 00:11:42,255 Jaggu. 116 00:11:42,966 --> 00:11:44,834 -You from Mumbai? - No, Delhi! 117 00:11:44,895 --> 00:11:47,622 I'm here doing a TV Production Course. You? 118 00:11:47,944 --> 00:11:49,278 I'm Sarfaraz. 119 00:11:49,357 --> 00:11:52,585 I'm studying architecture, and doing a part-time job, 120 00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:54,349 here, at the Pakistani Embassy. 121 00:11:54,569 --> 00:11:56,708 The Pakistani Embassy. Why? 122 00:11:56,835 --> 00:11:58,965 Because I'm from Pakistan. 123 00:11:59,263 --> 00:12:02,581 The Indian Embassy wouldn't hire me, right? 124 00:12:05,236 --> 00:12:06,596 What's the matter? 125 00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:08,525 No, nothing. 126 00:12:12,313 --> 00:12:16,138 Because I'm Pakistani, you lost your smile? 127 00:12:19,843 --> 00:12:21,135 Well then... 128 00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,229 Khuda hafiz. (good bye - urdu) 129 00:12:33,256 --> 00:12:37,124 ♪ Hm, hmm hmm... 130 00:12:39,163 --> 00:12:45,313 ♪ Without asking my name and address 131 00:12:46,212 --> 00:12:50,860 ♪ keeping tradition aside, 132 00:12:52,798 --> 00:12:58,604 ♪ A few steps, just a few steps, 133 00:12:59,074 --> 00:13:04,112 ♪ Come walk with me. 134 00:13:14,374 --> 00:13:18,343 ♪ Without asking my name and address 135 00:13:18,436 --> 00:13:21,835 ♪ keeping tradition aside, 136 00:13:22,330 --> 00:13:26,328 ♪ A few steps, just a few steps, 137 00:13:26,541 --> 00:13:29,864 ♪ Come walk with me. 138 00:13:30,322 --> 00:13:34,333 ♪ Without saying or asking anything 139 00:13:34,575 --> 00:13:37,919 ♪ Holding my hand in yours 140 00:13:38,453 --> 00:13:42,272 ♪ A few steps, just a few steps 141 00:13:42,531 --> 00:13:45,469 ♪ Come walk with me. 142 00:13:45,916 --> 00:13:50,265 ♪ Without saying or asking anything 143 00:13:50,533 --> 00:13:54,183 ♪ Holding my hand in yours 144 00:13:54,533 --> 00:13:58,099 ♪ A few steps, just a few steps 145 00:13:58,509 --> 00:14:02,003 ♪ Come walk with me. 146 00:14:22,375 --> 00:14:26,203 ♪ If the harsh sunlight troubles your eyes 147 00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:29,749 ♪ I'll make shade, for you. 148 00:14:30,234 --> 00:14:34,311 ♪ If dark skies frighten you, I'll cross the horizon 149 00:14:34,505 --> 00:14:38,185 ♪ and adorn the sky with the moon, for you 150 00:14:38,401 --> 00:14:42,253 ♪ If sadness surrounds you I'll be your jester 151 00:14:42,505 --> 00:14:45,860 ♪ and make you laugh again. 152 00:14:46,479 --> 00:14:50,297 ♪ Laughing and humming like this 153 00:14:50,532 --> 00:14:54,321 ♪ we'll take these few steps. 154 00:15:12,306 --> 00:15:16,210 ♪ Now that I’ve found a companion like you 155 00:15:16,296 --> 00:15:20,073 ♪ why should I fear the world? 156 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:24,078 ♪ Not just a few steps, but my whole life 157 00:15:24,337 --> 00:15:27,656 ♪ I’ll walk together with you 158 00:15:28,289 --> 00:15:31,892 ♪ Without saying or asking anything 159 00:15:32,242 --> 00:15:35,750 ♪ Holding my hand in yours 160 00:15:36,304 --> 00:15:40,090 ♪ Only a few steps, just a few steps 161 00:15:40,369 --> 00:15:43,945 ♪ Come walk with me. 162 00:16:25,704 --> 00:16:27,067 Thank you 163 00:16:28,820 --> 00:16:29,942 Mummy! 164 00:16:30,093 --> 00:16:32,755 Papa! She's fallen in love! 165 00:16:33,083 --> 00:16:35,235 Fallen in love? 166 00:16:35,779 --> 00:16:37,079 He's so cute! 167 00:16:37,321 --> 00:16:38,769 Show us more pictures. 168 00:16:38,876 --> 00:16:40,067 What does he do? 169 00:16:40,088 --> 00:16:42,183 I hope he's not from a joint* family. (extended) 170 00:16:42,266 --> 00:16:44,332 Calm down, I'll tell you everything. 171 00:16:44,429 --> 00:16:45,821 First, his name. 172 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:48,308 Sarfaraz. 173 00:16:48,813 --> 00:16:50,297 A Muslim?! 174 00:16:51,031 --> 00:16:53,539 Yes papa, he studies architure. 175 00:16:53,586 --> 00:16:55,077 His family's in Pakistan. 176 00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:57,356 Pakistan?! Which Pakistan? 177 00:16:57,539 --> 00:16:59,139 Ma, there's only one Pakistan. 178 00:16:59,202 --> 00:17:03,546 Will you wear a burka and pray namaz*? Are you mad? (to Mecca) 179 00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:06,535 Jaggu, don't disconnect! Quick, get in the car! 180 00:17:06,737 --> 00:17:09,691 What a catastrophe, help us Guru! 181 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,462 I knew where Papa was going. 182 00:17:12,481 --> 00:17:17,325 Ever since I was little, I saw Guru Tapasvi's face more than my parents'. 183 00:17:17,431 --> 00:17:18,431 Bye Mom. 184 00:17:19,533 --> 00:17:22,688 On my school bag, on the bathroom wall, 185 00:17:22,784 --> 00:17:25,297 Tapasvi ji was everywhere. 186 00:17:26,829 --> 00:17:31,271 Papa wouldn't even have root-canal without consulting him. 187 00:17:33,049 --> 00:17:39,077 Papa got a God-box from Tapasvi ji with a patron God for every occasion. 188 00:17:39,296 --> 00:17:41,207 When papa traded shares 189 00:17:41,278 --> 00:17:44,122 he showed the computer screen to the Godess Lakshmi. 190 00:17:44,232 --> 00:17:47,862 On the treadmill he had a Hanuman Idol. 191 00:17:48,804 --> 00:17:52,982 Internet prayers, online readings, courier delivered prasad* (blessing food) 192 00:17:53,075 --> 00:17:55,506 All, Tapasvi ji's ideas. 193 00:18:08,799 --> 00:18:12,021 Jaggu, touch his feet*. (receive his blessing) 194 00:18:20,882 --> 00:18:22,541 Why, Jagat Janani? 195 00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:25,063 Why are you killing yourself? 196 00:18:25,193 --> 00:18:28,171 Get pen and a paper and write: 197 00:18:28,759 --> 00:18:32,515 Lord, enlighten me. 198 00:18:37,585 --> 00:18:38,703 Yes. 199 00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:41,758 Yes. 200 00:18:42,676 --> 00:18:44,290 As you wish, Lord. 201 00:18:45,801 --> 00:18:48,092 This is your future, Jagat Janani. 202 00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:50,327 That Pakistani boy... 203 00:18:50,585 --> 00:18:52,429 named Sarfaraz... 204 00:18:53,380 --> 00:18:54,918 will deceive you. 205 00:18:55,070 --> 00:18:56,869 Sarfaraz will not. 206 00:18:58,711 --> 00:19:00,505 Look at history. 207 00:19:01,155 --> 00:19:05,364 These people have always cheated and connived. 208 00:19:05,533 --> 00:19:08,115 He'll use you for a bit of fun, 209 00:19:08,271 --> 00:19:10,216 but never marry you. 210 00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:12,398 He'll soon disappear. 211 00:19:12,599 --> 00:19:14,021 Jaggu, come home, now. 212 00:19:14,099 --> 00:19:15,766 If you stay one more night, 213 00:19:15,769 --> 00:19:17,681 you're no longer my daughter. 214 00:19:17,738 --> 00:19:20,618 Mr. Sahni, Sir, let me speak to her 215 00:19:20,865 --> 00:19:24,479 Child... press the delete button, 216 00:19:24,779 --> 00:19:27,486 and get him out of your system. 217 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:33,716 Hello. 218 00:19:35,989 --> 00:19:37,247 What's up? 219 00:19:39,001 --> 00:19:40,613 Do you love me? 220 00:19:41,372 --> 00:19:43,269 Of course I do. Why? 221 00:19:43,759 --> 00:19:45,349 Will you marry me? 222 00:19:45,486 --> 00:19:48,227 - Hello, what's going on? - Yes or no, Sarfaraz. 223 00:19:48,242 --> 00:19:51,836 - Yes, but, when? - Tomorrow. - Tomorrow? 224 00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:54,113 Tomorrow we'll get married. 225 00:19:55,176 --> 00:19:57,633 Tapasvi ji's prediction is wrong. 226 00:19:57,887 --> 00:19:59,495 I'll prove it. 227 00:20:05,419 --> 00:20:06,900 Congratulations. 228 00:20:11,872 --> 00:20:15,067 Mr James Herrick and Miss Oprah Brown, you're next. 229 00:20:15,216 --> 00:20:16,638 James isn't here yet. 230 00:20:16,708 --> 00:20:18,372 Oh, talk to the Registrar. 231 00:20:19,394 --> 00:20:22,504 Could you just hold this please? - Of Course. 232 00:20:26,974 --> 00:20:28,461 This is for you. 233 00:20:28,803 --> 00:20:30,619 - For me? - Yeah. 234 00:20:30,742 --> 00:20:32,250 Thank you. 235 00:20:37,013 --> 00:20:38,736 It was a letter from Sarfaraz. 236 00:20:38,829 --> 00:20:42,130 He wrote, marriage isn't just between two people, but two families. 237 00:20:42,333 --> 00:20:45,651 Our countries, peoples, religions, are all different. 238 00:20:45,739 --> 00:20:48,504 How can we be happy by making our families sad? 239 00:20:48,584 --> 00:20:50,733 Don't try to contact me. 240 00:20:50,992 --> 00:20:52,273 Sorry. 241 00:21:13,096 --> 00:21:15,126 Where to go, young lady? 242 00:21:15,473 --> 00:21:16,978 New Delhi. 243 00:21:20,575 --> 00:21:22,206 I returned to my city, 244 00:21:22,646 --> 00:21:24,715 but papa wouldn't let me stay in the house. 245 00:21:24,816 --> 00:21:26,823 I joined a news channel. 246 00:21:27,005 --> 00:21:30,988 The boss found a depressed dog, to generate some Breaking News. 247 00:21:31,111 --> 00:21:34,961 Sometimes we'd find news, sometimes we invented news. 248 00:21:57,018 --> 00:21:58,500 "Missing... 249 00:21:59,233 --> 00:22:01,890 "...If found, contact PK." 250 00:22:05,454 --> 00:22:06,886 I found a story. 251 00:22:06,896 --> 00:22:09,888 - Go to the office, be there soon. - Hurry. 252 00:22:23,512 --> 00:22:24,924 Excuse me. 253 00:22:24,953 --> 00:22:27,238 Why are you distributing these pamphlets? 254 00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:29,642 I have a case pending with God. 255 00:22:29,733 --> 00:22:32,338 He won't resolve it, and I can't contact Him. 256 00:22:32,342 --> 00:22:34,062 My life is hell. 257 00:22:35,433 --> 00:22:38,208 Don't know where He's disappeared to. 258 00:22:39,415 --> 00:22:41,591 Any idea where He is? 259 00:22:42,721 --> 00:22:44,047 No. 260 00:22:46,959 --> 00:22:49,387 ♪ [Religious chant] 261 00:23:00,634 --> 00:23:02,994 Why are you wearing a helmet? 262 00:23:03,146 --> 00:23:04,783 To stand out. 263 00:23:05,377 --> 00:23:06,633 Yellow color... 264 00:23:06,723 --> 00:23:08,481 can be seen a long way off, 265 00:23:08,547 --> 00:23:10,177 even in heavy traffic. 266 00:23:10,255 --> 00:23:12,571 I learned this from taxis. - So? 267 00:23:12,673 --> 00:23:15,108 So God can see me. 268 00:23:15,771 --> 00:23:18,906 How else can He spot me in this crowd? 269 00:23:19,023 --> 00:23:20,094 Huh? 270 00:23:27,862 --> 00:23:29,192 Go left... 271 00:23:29,285 --> 00:23:30,875 Yeah, perfect, perfect. 272 00:23:30,985 --> 00:23:31,985 Background... 273 00:23:32,637 --> 00:23:33,637 Cue, Jaggu... 274 00:23:34,892 --> 00:23:37,433 They say animals don't commit suicide. 275 00:23:38,129 --> 00:23:39,398 This is Nikku... 276 00:23:39,529 --> 00:23:42,686 Dr. Sweetie Singh's dog, from Delhi, Ramesh Nagar. 277 00:23:42,809 --> 00:23:46,135 Last month, it made three suicide attempts. 278 00:23:46,330 --> 00:23:49,658 It tried jumping off the roof, eating sleeping tablets, 279 00:23:49,708 --> 00:23:52,049 and jumping onto a gas burner. 280 00:23:52,862 --> 00:23:54,357 Why did Nikku do this? 281 00:23:54,645 --> 00:23:57,638 Is Nikku suffering from a mental disorder? 282 00:23:58,445 --> 00:23:59,973 Is Nikku?... 283 00:24:02,807 --> 00:24:04,057 What is it, Jaggu? 284 00:24:04,139 --> 00:24:06,457 What is this shit, here, Mittu? 285 00:24:09,956 --> 00:24:13,539 We'll talk more with famous industrialist, Ratan Atarival... 286 00:24:13,636 --> 00:24:15,179 after a short break. 287 00:24:16,804 --> 00:24:18,781 Went well, Ratan. Coffee? 288 00:24:18,890 --> 00:24:20,992 Hey! Someone get the man a coffee. 289 00:24:21,068 --> 00:24:22,989 - Jerry? - Oh no! 290 00:24:23,116 --> 00:24:26,637 What do you think it has? Depression? Anxiety disorder? 291 00:24:26,764 --> 00:24:30,364 Schizophrenia or attention deficit, hyperactivity disorder? 292 00:24:30,489 --> 00:24:32,216 Whatever! Why would I care? 293 00:24:32,333 --> 00:24:33,497 Exactly! 294 00:24:33,613 --> 00:24:35,360 Why would anyone care? 295 00:24:35,577 --> 00:24:38,742 So why are we showing such stupid content? 296 00:24:39,161 --> 00:24:40,934 What do you want to show? 297 00:24:41,138 --> 00:24:43,493 Here, hold this, a sec. 298 00:24:45,050 --> 00:24:46,173 See this, 299 00:24:46,407 --> 00:24:49,760 I met a man today, who distributes these pamphlets 300 00:24:49,846 --> 00:24:51,247 searching for God. 301 00:24:51,319 --> 00:24:52,951 He found Him? 302 00:24:53,221 --> 00:24:54,998 No, but.. 303 00:24:55,001 --> 00:24:57,353 Seaching for God: that's religion. 304 00:24:57,395 --> 00:24:59,372 FINDING God: that's news! 305 00:24:59,427 --> 00:25:01,841 When he finds God I'll put him on air. 306 00:25:01,872 --> 00:25:04,200 - But... -You know the company policy. 307 00:25:04,301 --> 00:25:07,094 No news on religion and no news on God. Finished! 308 00:25:07,298 --> 00:25:08,926 What's wrong with you? 309 00:25:08,969 --> 00:25:11,325 Where's the old fighter, Jerry? 310 00:25:11,484 --> 00:25:13,093 You want to see the fighter? 311 00:25:13,426 --> 00:25:14,583 Look... 312 00:25:14,670 --> 00:25:15,951 here... 313 00:25:16,505 --> 00:25:19,138 Wanna see the three marks, here? 314 00:25:19,341 --> 00:25:21,029 They're not birthmarks! 315 00:25:21,114 --> 00:25:23,636 Courtesy of your father's friend Tapasvi. 316 00:25:23,684 --> 00:25:25,605 I did an unfavorable news item and 317 00:25:25,691 --> 00:25:27,996 one of his devotees stuck a trishul* (trident) 318 00:25:28,020 --> 00:25:30,130 here, right in my bum! 319 00:25:32,115 --> 00:25:34,747 So I decided, if I want to stay in this country, 320 00:25:34,833 --> 00:25:36,904 I can't mess with religion. That's it! 321 00:25:36,965 --> 00:25:39,465 I've got a show to run, now. Bye bye! 322 00:25:41,442 --> 00:25:42,848 Welcome back from the break, 323 00:25:42,958 --> 00:25:45,576 we're talking with industrialist Ratan... 324 00:25:46,161 --> 00:25:48,769 The boss didn't let me follow up that story. 325 00:25:49,285 --> 00:25:53,175 But two weeks later, the story resurfaced. 326 00:26:41,575 --> 00:26:43,692 Thief! Thief! Thief! 327 00:26:43,838 --> 00:26:45,065 Catch him, 328 00:26:45,115 --> 00:26:48,702 he stole from the donation box. 329 00:26:58,234 --> 00:27:00,421 Where d'you think you're going? 330 00:27:05,607 --> 00:27:07,023 Hold him. 331 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:11,144 Out of the way. 332 00:27:14,373 --> 00:27:17,498 How dare you pick the Lord's pocket, fool? 333 00:27:17,672 --> 00:27:19,907 Pundit ji, he is not a thief. 334 00:27:19,939 --> 00:27:23,547 I was putting in my donation and my purse fell in. 335 00:27:23,591 --> 00:27:25,910 He was helping me get it out. 336 00:27:26,348 --> 00:27:29,153 It's true. Check it yourself. 337 00:27:29,385 --> 00:27:31,408 My purse has around 5,000 rupees. 338 00:27:31,511 --> 00:27:32,960 Check it out. 339 00:27:48,536 --> 00:27:50,333 Pundit ji, that's mine. 340 00:27:50,587 --> 00:27:52,719 Once you offer, that's it. 341 00:27:52,797 --> 00:27:54,469 - But... - It's God's! 342 00:27:54,794 --> 00:27:56,661 Move along. Let them leave. 343 00:27:57,069 --> 00:28:01,484 - Hey! What were you doing? - Getting my refund. 344 00:28:01,578 --> 00:28:04,219 He accepted payment but didn't perform the work. 345 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:05,457 Hang on... 346 00:28:05,695 --> 00:28:09,566 You took 500, then put back 300? 347 00:28:09,690 --> 00:28:13,933 I had only offered Him 200, to do the work. 348 00:28:15,169 --> 00:28:17,755 Before, you wore lots of amulets and talismans... 349 00:28:17,783 --> 00:28:20,400 Rejected ! I was a fool. No more. 350 00:28:20,433 --> 00:28:22,799 What about God stickers on your face? 351 00:28:23,249 --> 00:28:24,838 Self-defense. 352 00:28:25,943 --> 00:28:28,107 People put God's image on their wall 353 00:28:28,193 --> 00:28:29,702 so nobody pees on it. 354 00:28:29,759 --> 00:28:32,339 I put it here, so nobody hits me. 355 00:28:38,589 --> 00:28:42,324 Mittu, where are you? Can you pick me up? 356 00:28:42,493 --> 00:28:44,790 I have no money to get home. 357 00:28:44,805 --> 00:28:47,934 I'm at the big temple, in Mudrika. 358 00:28:48,612 --> 00:28:50,666 Come quickly. Thanks, bye. 359 00:28:52,127 --> 00:28:54,720 - Here, take this. - What for? 360 00:28:54,784 --> 00:28:56,706 A taxi ride home. 361 00:28:57,659 --> 00:29:00,146 When people can't get home... 362 00:29:00,703 --> 00:29:02,373 I feel bad. 363 00:29:03,817 --> 00:29:04,761 Listen... 364 00:29:04,827 --> 00:29:07,293 No more. That was it. 365 00:29:07,409 --> 00:29:09,155 No, no, I can't take this. 366 00:29:09,956 --> 00:29:11,227 Why? 367 00:29:11,259 --> 00:29:14,074 You need this to get yourself home. 368 00:29:18,540 --> 00:29:21,869 Money is no use to get ME home. 369 00:29:22,253 --> 00:29:24,166 Why, where do you live? 370 00:29:32,834 --> 00:29:34,162 Usually, 371 00:29:34,781 --> 00:29:37,632 I stay in Agrasen's Baoli. (stepwell) 372 00:29:37,855 --> 00:29:40,294 But it's raining hard lately, 373 00:29:40,889 --> 00:29:43,200 so, I'll check into the lock-up. 374 00:29:43,394 --> 00:29:46,108 Lock-up... as in 'Police Lock-up'? 375 00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:50,166 Yeah, in Delhi there are 122. I do them in rotation. 376 00:29:50,258 --> 00:29:52,982 And they let you check in like a hotel? 377 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:55,919 Come, I'll explain. 378 00:30:05,550 --> 00:30:06,948 Stay here. 379 00:30:08,091 --> 00:30:16,473 {\an7}[ URINATING IS PROHIBITED ] 380 00:30:11,004 --> 00:30:13,992 Hey thulley* (copper), Look! 381 00:30:29,190 --> 00:30:30,769 I'll fix you. 382 00:30:41,574 --> 00:30:42,937 Jaggu. 383 00:30:45,739 --> 00:30:48,526 You sit behind me, we must follow that car. 384 00:30:48,582 --> 00:30:51,163 - Who's in the car? - Our story! 385 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:07,806 Get your purse. I need money. 386 00:31:09,219 --> 00:31:10,632 Hurry, Mittu! 387 00:31:10,741 --> 00:31:11,994 Thanks, bye. 388 00:31:23,988 --> 00:31:25,376 Excuse me. 389 00:31:26,256 --> 00:31:27,520 Yes? 390 00:31:27,544 --> 00:31:29,801 I want to go in the lock-up. 391 00:31:30,207 --> 00:31:31,519 Why? 392 00:31:32,291 --> 00:31:34,316 To meet that guy. 393 00:31:35,690 --> 00:31:38,727 Madam, does this look like a college canteen to you? 394 00:31:38,812 --> 00:31:42,478 Where you can eat, drink and have fun with friends, as you please? 395 00:31:42,498 --> 00:31:44,592 A lock-up means, 'lock up'! 396 00:31:44,603 --> 00:31:48,707 Only people who do crimes can go in. Understand? 397 00:31:50,044 --> 00:31:52,461 Madam, bribery is a crime. 398 00:31:52,927 --> 00:31:55,810 Yes, a crime. That's why I'm offering it. 399 00:31:55,934 --> 00:31:59,286 - I could lock you up for this. - Do it, please! 400 00:32:06,593 --> 00:32:09,324 - Thank you, Pandit ji. - Just one hour. 401 00:32:09,766 --> 00:32:10,864 Hi. 402 00:32:12,318 --> 00:32:14,630 I want to know your story. 403 00:32:14,945 --> 00:32:16,512 Will you tell me? 404 00:32:17,529 --> 00:32:18,751 Why? 405 00:32:18,795 --> 00:32:21,483 I'm a TV reporter. It's what I do. 406 00:32:34,611 --> 00:32:35,994 Ask me... 407 00:32:36,232 --> 00:32:37,930 whatever you want. 408 00:32:37,964 --> 00:32:39,288 Awesome! 409 00:32:44,184 --> 00:32:46,598 So, what's your name? 410 00:32:47,237 --> 00:32:48,801 I don't have a name. 411 00:32:49,271 --> 00:32:51,862 But everyone calls me PK, PK, all the time. 412 00:32:51,976 --> 00:32:53,390 What do you do? 413 00:32:56,724 --> 00:32:58,646 Ash-toro-naut. 414 00:33:00,728 --> 00:33:02,217 Astronaut?... 415 00:33:02,446 --> 00:33:05,069 Like people who go to the moon? 416 00:33:05,164 --> 00:33:08,396 I was there, once. Very dull place. 417 00:33:09,998 --> 00:33:15,287 Accha! Ok, so what's your favorite planet? - My own. 418 00:33:15,332 --> 00:33:17,411 Sure, but apart from Earth? 419 00:33:17,471 --> 00:33:19,403 Earth is so messed up! 420 00:33:19,724 --> 00:33:21,618 I mean, my own planet. 421 00:33:25,665 --> 00:33:28,043 At night it's visible. 422 00:33:28,106 --> 00:33:29,983 Up there is my home. 423 00:33:30,418 --> 00:33:32,309 What a huge to-do!... 424 00:33:32,956 --> 00:33:34,565 ...the day we found out 425 00:33:34,644 --> 00:33:37,588 there's another planet, where people like us live! 426 00:33:38,453 --> 00:33:40,889 They sent me here, to do research. 427 00:33:41,202 --> 00:33:43,042 But, as soon as I got here, 428 00:33:43,428 --> 00:33:45,781 somebody swiped my remote control. 429 00:33:46,122 --> 00:33:49,531 Without it I can't signal my home. 430 00:33:50,126 --> 00:33:53,436 If I don't signal, nobody'll come to take me back. 431 00:33:53,827 --> 00:33:55,752 I'm in a dangerous spot. 432 00:33:55,780 --> 00:33:58,011 I may be here till I die. 433 00:34:03,420 --> 00:34:05,888 - Hello... Listen. - What? 434 00:34:05,901 --> 00:34:07,878 Open up, please, I wanna go home. 435 00:34:07,900 --> 00:34:10,787 Madam, we, on the outside, decide who gets out, 436 00:34:10,790 --> 00:34:12,310 not you, on the inside. 437 00:34:12,332 --> 00:34:15,597 - But, I'm not a thief! - Hm, that's what they all say. 438 00:34:15,630 --> 00:34:17,547 Where is Pandit ji? Please, call him. 439 00:34:17,646 --> 00:34:19,758 Pandit ji's doing his rounds. 440 00:34:20,135 --> 00:34:21,375 Pandit ji! 441 00:34:22,841 --> 00:34:26,360 - Pandit ji! - Hey girlie, shut up or else!... 442 00:34:46,287 --> 00:34:49,031 You think I'm spouting nonsense? 443 00:34:49,595 --> 00:34:50,954 What else? 444 00:34:51,269 --> 00:34:54,338 Your planet's official language is Bhojpuri?! 445 00:34:54,365 --> 00:34:56,200 Our planet doesn't even... 446 00:34:56,552 --> 00:34:58,808 Our planet has no language. 447 00:34:59,474 --> 00:35:02,302 We talk with our minds. No confusion. 448 00:35:02,411 --> 00:35:03,715 Here they say one thing, 449 00:35:03,771 --> 00:35:05,315 and mean something else. 450 00:35:05,369 --> 00:35:07,235 One statement has four meanings. 451 00:35:08,189 --> 00:35:12,937 Shake your head and say, 'accha, accha', it means 'very good'. 452 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:17,772 Pop out your eyes and say, 'accha', it expresses shock. 453 00:35:17,876 --> 00:35:20,931 "Your mother had an accident." Accha?! ... Shock. 454 00:35:21,673 --> 00:35:24,115 A loud angry 'accha' means: 455 00:35:24,405 --> 00:35:28,022 You 'REALLY' think you can teach ME a lesson?! 456 00:35:28,357 --> 00:35:31,611 When one is thinking, there's the long 'accha'. 457 00:35:32,038 --> 00:35:34,340 Acchaaa! 458 00:35:35,339 --> 00:35:38,420 With words you need to learn the feelings behind them, 459 00:35:38,619 --> 00:35:40,496 to make any sense at all. 460 00:35:40,623 --> 00:35:44,986 So damn confusing! Took me a full 6 hours to learn Bhojpuri. 461 00:35:45,279 --> 00:35:48,285 It took you 6 hours to learn the whole Bhojpuri language?! 462 00:35:48,293 --> 00:35:50,685 Nobody would let me hold their hand! 463 00:35:51,294 --> 00:35:54,638 But then I found a co-operative lady. 464 00:35:54,932 --> 00:35:57,566 I held her hands and transferred her whole language to me. 465 00:35:57,645 --> 00:35:59,739 You just can't stop lying! 466 00:36:00,192 --> 00:36:02,348 There are limits even to tall tales. 467 00:36:02,481 --> 00:36:04,940 Are your hands USB cables 468 00:36:05,084 --> 00:36:08,340 that transfer files between computers? 469 00:36:09,014 --> 00:36:10,746 And what about your clothes? 470 00:36:10,810 --> 00:36:13,183 Do they also wear faded jeans on your planet? 471 00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:14,303 No, no, no! 472 00:36:14,951 --> 00:36:16,170 On our planet... 473 00:36:16,394 --> 00:36:19,363 On our planet nobody wears clothes. 474 00:36:20,782 --> 00:36:23,806 When I first landed here I thought that... 475 00:36:24,804 --> 00:36:27,555 your people had different skins from ours. 476 00:36:28,227 --> 00:36:33,028 Some with shiny skin, some black. 477 00:36:34,372 --> 00:36:37,200 Some with colorful skin, and some just plain white. 478 00:36:38,322 --> 00:36:42,318 Some skins cling to the body, some are saggy and loose. 479 00:36:44,345 --> 00:36:46,749 Then one day I saw a car. 480 00:36:47,500 --> 00:36:49,324 A dancing car. 481 00:36:54,976 --> 00:36:56,321 Then I understood, 482 00:36:56,407 --> 00:37:00,120 that people's bodies here are the same as on my world. 483 00:37:00,779 --> 00:37:03,747 They just put something called "fashion" 484 00:37:03,857 --> 00:37:05,716 all over their bodies. 485 00:37:13,756 --> 00:37:17,032 Now I could blend in with people from your planet. 486 00:37:17,389 --> 00:37:20,821 But strangely, everyone was laughing at me. 487 00:37:26,366 --> 00:37:28,176 It took a while to understand that 488 00:37:28,263 --> 00:37:31,614 men's fashions are different from ladies'. 489 00:37:32,020 --> 00:37:35,155 Morning fashion was different from night fashion. 490 00:37:35,537 --> 00:37:39,504 Sports-playing fashion was different from toast-serving fashion. 491 00:37:41,562 --> 00:37:45,558 With some clothes I also found a picture. 492 00:37:57,808 --> 00:37:59,618 It gradually dawned on me 493 00:37:59,681 --> 00:38:03,658 that this picture is very important for survival on this world. 494 00:38:04,128 --> 00:38:07,011 I could exchange this picture for food. 495 00:38:07,110 --> 00:38:10,656 So I started collecting pictures of this famous old man. 496 00:38:26,202 --> 00:38:27,314 What? 497 00:38:32,103 --> 00:38:34,484 Why are you giving me this? 498 00:38:36,503 --> 00:38:39,360 Why do you bring junk to my shop? 499 00:38:42,435 --> 00:38:44,841 Ah, I'll take that! 500 00:38:45,138 --> 00:38:47,037 There you go, carrots. 501 00:38:47,713 --> 00:38:52,146 It seemed this picture was only useful on one kind of paper. 502 00:38:52,752 --> 00:38:56,591 On other papers, its has zero utility. 503 00:38:58,911 --> 00:39:02,655 Now I could get both money and clothes from the dancing car. 504 00:39:02,733 --> 00:39:05,743 It became my bank, and my tailor. 505 00:39:07,269 --> 00:39:09,947 Once I found such wonderful attire, 506 00:39:10,070 --> 00:39:13,296 that I didn't even need the paper with the picture. 507 00:39:13,353 --> 00:39:15,497 Food came running to me, on its own. 508 00:39:15,568 --> 00:39:17,182 Sir, take this. 509 00:39:19,564 --> 00:39:21,843 Now in order to find my remote control 510 00:39:21,913 --> 00:39:23,816 I needed to learn this planet's language. 511 00:39:23,875 --> 00:39:26,931 Without language nothing was possible here. 512 00:39:27,406 --> 00:39:29,737 Like, communicating to this gentleman 513 00:39:29,779 --> 00:39:32,516 that he may have a wardrobe malfunction. 514 00:39:39,561 --> 00:39:43,155 Perhaps I'd spoiled the look he was going for. 515 00:39:44,529 --> 00:39:46,911 So, I re-corrected. 516 00:40:18,367 --> 00:40:20,410 I found him on the road. 517 00:40:20,512 --> 00:40:22,493 Probably a hit-and-run. 518 00:40:23,226 --> 00:40:25,310 Seems alert enough... 519 00:40:26,622 --> 00:40:28,723 but he's not responding. 520 00:40:29,497 --> 00:40:31,590 Perhaps he's deaf? 521 00:40:32,184 --> 00:40:33,829 Are you deaf! 522 00:40:34,630 --> 00:40:37,402 He hears but won't answer. 523 00:40:38,721 --> 00:40:40,940 The shock from the blow, induced... 524 00:40:41,153 --> 00:40:42,675 memory loss. 525 00:40:43,019 --> 00:40:44,636 Memory's gone. 526 00:40:54,724 --> 00:40:57,816 Do you remember who hit you? 527 00:41:00,321 --> 00:41:03,327 Remember?... Car's number? 528 00:41:03,664 --> 00:41:05,659 Anything at all? 529 00:41:35,235 --> 00:41:36,962 Let's go, brother. 530 00:41:37,628 --> 00:41:39,252 Come with me. 531 00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:44,205 You're my guest until your memory comes back. 532 00:41:45,968 --> 00:41:48,138 Keep banging your head into things. 533 00:41:48,363 --> 00:41:51,316 If a blow to the head can take away your memory, 534 00:41:51,387 --> 00:41:53,861 another blow can also return it. 535 00:41:53,972 --> 00:41:55,502 I've seen it in films. 536 00:41:55,544 --> 00:41:57,322 I didn't understand a word. 537 00:41:57,384 --> 00:41:59,755 I needed to hold his hands 538 00:41:59,758 --> 00:42:02,401 and do a language transfer. 539 00:42:04,594 --> 00:42:06,052 Woah! 540 00:42:08,122 --> 00:42:11,419 Have you forgotten the difference between male and female? 541 00:42:11,565 --> 00:42:12,801 Hold on a sec. 542 00:42:13,466 --> 00:42:15,253 Look at my driver's license. 543 00:42:15,345 --> 00:42:18,175 Sex - male, man, 544 00:42:18,284 --> 00:42:20,730 mister, a guy, dude... 545 00:42:22,478 --> 00:42:24,526 If I ever wanted to get back home, 546 00:42:24,603 --> 00:42:27,341 I just had to hold someone's hand,now. 547 00:42:43,854 --> 00:42:47,358 ♪ O Brothers, a colorful guest has come 548 00:42:50,788 --> 00:42:54,551 ♪ Who doesn't differentiate between boy and girl. 549 00:42:57,419 --> 00:43:01,330 ♪ O brothers, a colorful guest has come 550 00:43:01,448 --> 00:43:04,524 ♪ Who doesn't differentiate between boy and girl 551 00:43:04,711 --> 00:43:08,348 ♪ You'll get me in trouble You'll get me beaten up 552 00:43:08,541 --> 00:43:14,031 ♪ Don't do this, don't do this don't, don't... 553 00:43:14,132 --> 00:43:18,687 ♪ The lewd boy has come here, as my guest 554 00:43:20,679 --> 00:43:27,234 ♪ The colorful boy has come here, as our guest 555 00:44:05,077 --> 00:44:08,973 ♪ In your multi-colored garb, which village are you from? 556 00:44:09,128 --> 00:44:12,829 ♪ Have you come from Patna or from Paatan or from Patiala? 557 00:44:13,024 --> 00:44:16,087 ♪ In your multi-colored garb, which village are you from? 558 00:44:16,173 --> 00:44:19,067 ♪ Have you come from Patna or from Paatan or from Patiala? 559 00:44:19,231 --> 00:44:23,395 ♪ You must have a name, o brother, 560 00:44:23,699 --> 00:44:26,511 ♪ With which you registered at school. 561 00:44:26,645 --> 00:44:30,089 ♪ You must have a name, o brother, 562 00:44:30,401 --> 00:44:33,542 ♪ With which you registered at school. 563 00:44:33,862 --> 00:44:36,944 ♪ You must have some address, some ration card 564 00:44:37,117 --> 00:44:41,087 ♪ Did you fall from a crack in the sky, or sprout from a hole in the ground? 565 00:44:41,141 --> 00:44:42,959 ♪ You'll get us killed, 566 00:44:42,962 --> 00:44:45,279 ♪ You'll get me beaten up 567 00:44:45,529 --> 00:44:48,343 ♪ Don't do this Don't do this. Don't do this 568 00:44:48,544 --> 00:44:52,674 ♪ The lewd boy has come here, as my guest 569 00:44:57,146 --> 00:45:02,831 ♪ The lewd boy has come here, as my guest 570 00:45:05,755 --> 00:45:10,239 ♪ Losing your memory is a blessing in disguise -- no fights, no quarrels 571 00:45:12,432 --> 00:45:15,955 ♪ Losing your memory is a blessing in disguise -- no fights, no quarrels 572 00:45:16,182 --> 00:45:19,861 ♪ No dealing with anybody, nor any loans to pay 573 00:45:20,018 --> 00:45:23,479 ♪ You look lovable, O pervert, You look innocent, O pervert. 574 00:45:23,729 --> 00:45:26,961 ♪ Don't do this, don't do this don't do this 575 00:45:27,118 --> 00:45:33,817 ♪ This lewd boy has come, as our guest. 576 00:45:36,063 --> 00:45:42,046 ♪ This lewd boy has come, as my guest. 577 00:45:44,966 --> 00:45:48,589 ♪ My colorful guest has arrived 578 00:45:48,735 --> 00:45:52,159 ♪ The boy who'll jump on anyone 579 00:45:52,282 --> 00:45:55,646 ♪ My colorful guest has arrived 580 00:45:55,818 --> 00:45:59,226 ♪ The boy who'll jump on anyone 581 00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:16,125 ♪ This lewd boy has come, as my guest. 582 00:46:16,371 --> 00:46:19,561 ♪ This lewd boy has come, as my guest. 583 00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:25,992 ♪ This lewd boy has come, as my guest. 584 00:46:36,177 --> 00:46:38,495 I can understand your pain, 585 00:46:38,878 --> 00:46:41,503 but you can't hold hands in public, here. 586 00:46:41,744 --> 00:46:43,580 I know you're tempted, 587 00:46:43,629 --> 00:46:46,198 but it can be life threatening. 588 00:46:49,887 --> 00:46:51,706 Don't be sad, brother. 589 00:46:51,815 --> 00:46:54,019 Come, I know what to do. 590 00:47:05,566 --> 00:47:09,255 Here, you can hold hands, feet, whatever... 591 00:47:09,288 --> 00:47:11,753 nobody's going to beat you up. 592 00:47:12,597 --> 00:47:14,191 This place was a paradise, 593 00:47:14,282 --> 00:47:17,373 everyone was very beautiful and friendly. 594 00:47:17,738 --> 00:47:21,383 They all took my hand to welcome me into their home. 595 00:47:21,406 --> 00:47:26,014 Then I met a gentle lady named Phuljhariya. (firecracker) 596 00:47:26,055 --> 00:47:30,140 Hey, Phuljhariya, take him to the honeymoon suite. 597 00:48:18,674 --> 00:48:20,875 Phuljhariya patiently sat 598 00:48:21,032 --> 00:48:23,258 while, for 6 hours, 599 00:48:23,661 --> 00:48:26,259 I transferred her language to me. 600 00:48:26,637 --> 00:48:29,218 From 1 2 3, to XYZ 601 00:48:29,342 --> 00:48:31,858 I transferred all she had. 602 00:48:42,578 --> 00:48:44,200 Your first time? 603 00:48:45,479 --> 00:48:48,435 Burnt out before you even started, eh? 604 00:48:52,951 --> 00:48:54,142 Yes. 605 00:48:56,208 --> 00:48:58,336 Where are you from? 606 00:49:01,494 --> 00:49:04,436 I came from far away, miss. 607 00:49:04,965 --> 00:49:08,002 You may not have heard of the place. 608 00:49:08,268 --> 00:49:10,705 But, you talk just like me, though. 609 00:49:11,201 --> 00:49:13,045 I speak like you, 610 00:49:13,197 --> 00:49:15,934 because I learned it from you, sister. 611 00:49:16,055 --> 00:49:20,544 Sister?! That'd be your mother! Get lost creep! 612 00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:28,091 Brother! Wake up brother! 613 00:49:29,210 --> 00:49:30,698 Brother! 614 00:49:31,609 --> 00:49:35,542 - You can talk now, brother?! - I need your help, brother. 615 00:49:35,555 --> 00:49:38,215 What magic did Phuljhariya work on you? 616 00:49:38,301 --> 00:49:39,803 Come with me quick! 617 00:49:39,824 --> 00:49:43,238 Memory must have a direct connection to sex. 618 00:49:43,409 --> 00:49:47,866 We must tell the doctor, we found the most delightful cure for amnesia. 619 00:49:48,061 --> 00:49:51,332 It's very important, brother. Let's go, hurry! 620 00:49:59,049 --> 00:50:00,873 Stop, stop! 621 00:50:05,599 --> 00:50:09,263 Brother, a guy snatched my chain right here. 622 00:50:10,054 --> 00:50:12,926 I need that chain, brother. 623 00:50:13,172 --> 00:50:15,511 - Is it valuable? - Very valuable. 624 00:50:15,568 --> 00:50:18,503 That thief may be from our village, but, 625 00:50:18,576 --> 00:50:21,313 he must've gone to Delhi to sell it. 626 00:50:21,335 --> 00:50:24,827 Here, in Mandawa, he'd get caught with something so valuable. 627 00:50:26,144 --> 00:50:28,125 Then, I must go, brother. 628 00:50:28,426 --> 00:50:29,552 Where? 629 00:50:30,636 --> 00:50:31,867 Delhi. 630 00:50:55,862 --> 00:50:57,528 - Sir. - What? 631 00:50:57,825 --> 00:51:01,388 - My remote control's been stolen. - Are you peekay? (drunk) 632 00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:03,255 You think, policemen have nothing better to do 633 00:51:03,260 --> 00:51:04,855 than look for TV remotes? 634 00:51:04,873 --> 00:51:07,525 - It wasn't a 'TV' remote. - What, then? 635 00:51:08,467 --> 00:51:11,870 I can't tell you, but it was on a chain around my neck, 636 00:51:11,956 --> 00:51:13,312 and it's priceless. 637 00:51:13,500 --> 00:51:16,797 - Where it was stolen? - In Mandawa. (Rajasthan) 638 00:51:17,231 --> 00:51:19,111 Idiot! It was stolen in Mandawa, 639 00:51:19,186 --> 00:51:21,129 and you look for it in Delhi?! 640 00:51:21,723 --> 00:51:23,627 But the thief came to Delhi. 641 00:51:23,713 --> 00:51:25,760 - So? So where can I find him? 642 00:51:25,825 --> 00:51:28,685 Idiot! The population is 1.5 crore* (15 million). 643 00:51:28,809 --> 00:51:32,132 The Police are only human, not Gods. 644 00:51:32,309 --> 00:51:33,332 (...not Gods) 645 00:51:35,443 --> 00:51:38,151 Only God can help you. 646 00:51:40,068 --> 00:51:43,740 Praise the Lord. Only He can help you. 647 00:51:45,855 --> 00:51:48,899 God knows where to find it! 648 00:51:50,403 --> 00:51:53,063 God only knows! Now get lost! 649 00:51:55,007 --> 00:51:58,610 Have faith in God, son. 650 00:51:58,742 --> 00:52:01,575 Who is this God, who can help me? 651 00:52:01,638 --> 00:52:03,865 Everyone I ask mentions His name. 652 00:52:04,801 --> 00:52:07,916 The more I heard, the more confused I got. 653 00:52:08,627 --> 00:52:12,291 People here seem to know who made them. 654 00:52:12,439 --> 00:52:14,614 They build places for Him to live. 655 00:52:14,752 --> 00:52:16,783 A house of God on every street. 656 00:52:16,889 --> 00:52:19,664 Millions of people go to Him with their problems, 657 00:52:19,830 --> 00:52:23,322 and He takes away all their troubles, for a small fee. 658 00:52:23,734 --> 00:52:27,333 We don't have such wonders on our world. 659 00:52:27,707 --> 00:52:29,378 I couldn't believe it at first. 660 00:52:29,443 --> 00:52:31,870 Then I thought, I must try. 661 00:52:34,577 --> 00:52:36,604 One God for me please, brother. 662 00:52:36,621 --> 00:52:40,597 Which one? This is 20, 50. That is 100, 500, rupees. 663 00:52:40,715 --> 00:52:44,008 What is the difference between the 20 and 500? 664 00:52:44,338 --> 00:52:46,869 Only the size, the rest is the same. 665 00:52:46,965 --> 00:52:50,149 The 20 rupee one works just fine as well, right? 666 00:52:50,974 --> 00:52:54,098 Here, give me 15. Just take it and go. 667 00:53:07,497 --> 00:53:11,432 God I'm starving. Give me something to eat. 668 00:53:23,346 --> 00:53:25,596 I went totally out-of-control! 669 00:53:25,677 --> 00:53:27,750 This God seemed to be working. 670 00:53:27,851 --> 00:53:29,841 Now, I could go back home! 671 00:53:29,914 --> 00:53:32,818 God, my remote control got stolen. 672 00:53:33,163 --> 00:53:36,565 Please, get it back for me, I want to go home. 673 00:53:49,076 --> 00:53:52,211 Sir, has this God's battery run down? 674 00:53:52,226 --> 00:53:54,302 It worked for a while, then it stopped. 675 00:53:54,396 --> 00:53:57,646 - What do you mean? - I mean, put in a new battery. 676 00:53:57,779 --> 00:53:59,693 Look, it doesn't run on batteries. 677 00:53:59,700 --> 00:54:02,955 Why doesn't it work, then, is it a manufacturing defect? 678 00:54:02,978 --> 00:54:07,543 - I don't make defective pieces. - You made this God? 679 00:54:07,938 --> 00:54:10,310 Yes, with my own hands. 680 00:54:11,263 --> 00:54:14,341 Did you make GOD, or did God make YOU? 681 00:54:14,369 --> 00:54:17,330 Brother, God made us all ! 682 00:54:17,371 --> 00:54:19,775 We just make sculptures of Him. 683 00:54:20,072 --> 00:54:23,726 - Why do you make sculptures of Him? - So we can pray to Him. 684 00:54:23,835 --> 00:54:26,040 To tell Him about our joys and sorrows. 685 00:54:26,122 --> 00:54:28,358 Did you install a transmitter? 686 00:54:28,578 --> 00:54:30,894 How do the messages reach Him? 687 00:54:31,291 --> 00:54:34,061 God doesn't need a transmitter. 688 00:54:34,290 --> 00:54:36,260 He hears us, directly. 689 00:54:36,270 --> 00:54:39,522 If He hears us directly, what use are these sculptures? 690 00:54:39,599 --> 00:54:42,525 Oh man, how can I explain this to him? 691 00:54:42,659 --> 00:54:45,791 Are you trying to drive me out of business? 692 00:54:45,817 --> 00:54:49,685 - What is your problem? - My remote control got stolen. 693 00:54:49,700 --> 00:54:53,254 I told God, but He won't say where it is. 694 00:54:53,255 --> 00:54:56,588 - Are you PK? (drunk) - What do you mean? 695 00:54:56,591 --> 00:54:58,841 You're overloading this little God! 696 00:54:58,932 --> 00:55:01,644 How can He chase a thief with such little legs? 697 00:55:01,650 --> 00:55:06,310 Go in the temple, they have a bigger God, who can run faster. 698 00:55:06,380 --> 00:55:10,675 Give Him this coconut and some money. He'll get the job done. 699 00:55:10,789 --> 00:55:13,040 Eh? That'll be 200 rupees. 700 00:55:18,472 --> 00:55:21,128 Everyone waited with coconuts and money in hand 701 00:55:21,206 --> 00:55:23,113 for their own special task. 702 00:55:23,198 --> 00:55:26,129 Two hours later, it was my turn. 703 00:55:26,321 --> 00:55:28,097 God, oh God. 704 00:55:29,288 --> 00:55:31,917 God, get my remote control back. 705 00:55:34,787 --> 00:55:37,010 - Where is it? - Come on, move. 706 00:55:37,075 --> 00:55:39,185 Wait, I didn't get my thing, yet. 707 00:55:39,239 --> 00:55:41,419 He's not doing His job. 708 00:55:41,528 --> 00:55:44,997 - And I paid Him already. - Your job will be done. 709 00:55:45,047 --> 00:55:48,060 - When? - Who knows, when? Soon. 710 00:55:48,084 --> 00:55:49,292 Move along. 711 00:55:49,301 --> 00:55:53,083 - But when will I get my thing? - Don't block the line, move along! 712 00:55:53,145 --> 00:55:55,504 What if I move on and someone else get my thing? 713 00:55:55,553 --> 00:55:56,855 Are you PK? (drunk) 714 00:55:56,864 --> 00:55:58,857 Wait, Madam, what are you doing? 715 00:55:58,889 --> 00:56:02,445 - Where do I get my thing? - Go look in a mental hospital. 716 00:56:02,458 --> 00:56:06,558 What?! I paid cash, here, but, delivery is in a mental hospital? 717 00:56:06,628 --> 00:56:09,501 - Get him out of here. - At least give me a receipt. 718 00:56:09,529 --> 00:56:10,999 Give me a receipt, 719 00:56:11,007 --> 00:56:14,044 to show for proof of purchase at the mental hospital! 720 00:56:14,114 --> 00:56:16,833 - Get out, go. - But, my remote? 721 00:56:16,998 --> 00:56:18,334 Out, out. 722 00:56:26,019 --> 00:56:29,075 Brother, I can't find my sandals. 723 00:56:29,218 --> 00:56:31,074 Someone must've taken them. 724 00:56:31,146 --> 00:56:32,632 Take someone else's. 725 00:56:32,828 --> 00:56:35,302 In temples, such rotation, is common. 726 00:56:49,746 --> 00:56:53,278 I paid in full, but, didn't get my job done. 727 00:56:57,434 --> 00:56:59,992 - What's his name? - Bhagwan. (Lord) 728 00:57:00,042 --> 00:57:03,283 - Full name. - I don't know the full name. 729 00:57:04,486 --> 00:57:06,275 Where does he live? 730 00:57:06,403 --> 00:57:08,554 In the temple, nearby. 731 00:57:08,778 --> 00:57:12,455 - You put the money in his hands? - No. I put in his box. 732 00:57:12,540 --> 00:57:15,928 - Did he say he'd finish your job? - That's the problem. He doesn't talk. 733 00:57:16,028 --> 00:57:18,865 - Why, is he mute? - He might be. 734 00:57:19,307 --> 00:57:20,788 Really? 735 00:57:22,543 --> 00:57:24,210 Describe his appearance. 736 00:57:27,410 --> 00:57:29,356 He looks exactly like this... 737 00:57:31,175 --> 00:57:33,161 in a larger size. 738 00:57:34,625 --> 00:57:36,598 Come here. Come. 739 00:57:37,869 --> 00:57:39,695 Are you PK? (drunk) 740 00:57:40,065 --> 00:57:42,770 Yeah... how does everyone know? 741 00:57:42,879 --> 00:57:44,629 You think we're jack-asses? 742 00:57:44,872 --> 00:57:47,255 I've been a policeman for 20 years. 743 00:57:47,289 --> 00:57:50,300 I can tell who's drunk or sober, like that. 744 00:57:50,708 --> 00:57:53,292 Kripal Singh, search him! 745 00:57:55,209 --> 00:57:57,312 What's he got? Give it to me. 746 00:57:59,124 --> 00:58:00,931 Dr. D'Mello. 747 00:58:01,497 --> 00:58:03,872 Doctor, why do you get so drunk, 748 00:58:03,958 --> 00:58:06,398 that you forget your own religion? 749 00:58:06,529 --> 00:58:09,256 Instead of a church, you went to a temple. 750 00:58:09,313 --> 00:58:11,046 You wanna start a riot? 751 00:58:11,113 --> 00:58:13,388 Go to your own church, 752 00:58:13,637 --> 00:58:15,601 to your own God. 753 00:58:17,434 --> 00:58:18,961 Church? 754 00:58:19,213 --> 00:58:21,818 ♪ ♪ ♪ 755 00:58:27,599 --> 00:58:31,294 ♪ O for a thousand tongues to sing 756 00:58:31,474 --> 00:58:34,973 ♪ my great Redeemer's praise, 757 00:58:35,271 --> 00:58:39,073 ♪ the glories of my God and King, 758 00:58:39,131 --> 00:58:42,584 ♪ the triumphs of his grace! 759 00:58:42,906 --> 00:58:46,739 ♪ My gracious Master and my God, 760 00:58:47,021 --> 00:58:50,411 ♪ assist me to proclaim... 761 00:59:07,675 --> 00:59:09,807 - Get him out. - But, but... 762 00:59:10,061 --> 00:59:12,597 - Get out. - But, my remote? 763 00:59:12,622 --> 00:59:16,152 God died on the cross for your sins, and you... 764 00:59:16,247 --> 00:59:20,263 DIED?! On a cross? When? 765 00:59:20,610 --> 00:59:24,146 2,000 years ago, for your sins. 766 00:59:24,522 --> 00:59:27,896 What did I do? I just got here! 767 00:59:29,298 --> 00:59:31,442 - Are you PK? (drunk) - ...Ahah... 768 00:59:31,505 --> 00:59:34,950 God is watching you. He's looking at your behaviour. 769 00:59:34,978 --> 00:59:37,650 Where? Where is He? 770 00:59:38,923 --> 00:59:41,297 - What's in that cup? - Wine. 771 00:59:41,980 --> 00:59:45,907 Wine!... Now, I understood! 772 00:59:46,581 --> 00:59:49,206 God got bored of coconut water. 773 00:59:49,518 --> 00:59:51,612 Now, He enjoys wine, instead. 774 00:59:51,661 --> 00:59:53,223 I had to give Him wine. 775 00:59:53,621 --> 00:59:56,434 So I started collecting money. 776 00:59:56,880 --> 00:59:59,464 Some money, from the dancing car. 777 00:59:59,532 --> 01:00:00,490 And some, 778 01:00:00,609 --> 01:00:02,443 from a gentleman with a bowl, 779 01:00:02,552 --> 01:00:05,175 who always stands on the bridge. 780 01:00:05,253 --> 01:00:08,286 He lets people take whatever they want. 781 01:00:28,721 --> 01:00:32,766 - Brother, is there a House of God nearby? - Yes, straight ahead. 782 01:00:53,215 --> 01:00:54,497 Hold it. 783 01:00:54,786 --> 01:00:56,216 What's in there? 784 01:00:56,248 --> 01:00:58,423 Wine! For God. 785 01:00:58,583 --> 01:01:00,242 Where is He? 786 01:01:40,514 --> 01:01:43,058 One Madam seemed very sad. 787 01:01:43,116 --> 01:01:45,964 To find out her problem, I needed to hold her hands. 788 01:01:46,216 --> 01:01:48,808 Jerk! Trying to hit on a widow?! 789 01:01:48,904 --> 01:01:51,216 Huh? How do you know she's a widow? 790 01:01:51,302 --> 01:01:53,973 Can't you see she's wearing white?! 791 01:02:05,225 --> 01:02:07,185 Is everything fine? 792 01:02:09,489 --> 01:02:11,536 Just relax. Smile. 793 01:02:12,802 --> 01:02:15,206 I'm so sorry your husband died. 794 01:02:15,339 --> 01:02:16,850 What?! When? 795 01:02:17,116 --> 01:02:20,303 How should I know, 'when'? You're wearing white! 796 01:02:20,391 --> 01:02:22,302 White is for weddings! 797 01:02:22,305 --> 01:02:24,841 No, white is for mourning! 798 01:02:25,163 --> 01:02:29,246 Black is for mourning, stupid. Get lost! Go! 799 01:02:39,679 --> 01:02:42,667 You all lost your husband at the same time? 800 01:02:42,699 --> 01:02:45,496 Hey, I'm still alive! You want one of these? 801 01:02:46,420 --> 01:02:48,696 After several beatings, I understood. 802 01:02:48,699 --> 01:02:52,254 On this planet, there isn't just one God, but many. 803 01:02:52,329 --> 01:02:54,763 Each God has different rules. 804 01:02:55,068 --> 01:02:57,763 Each God opened His own company. 805 01:02:57,941 --> 01:03:00,247 People here call them religions. 806 01:03:00,387 --> 01:03:03,136 Each religion has a different manager. 807 01:03:03,738 --> 01:03:05,613 Everyone on this world 808 01:03:05,692 --> 01:03:08,853 is affiliated with one religion, or 'company'. 809 01:03:09,207 --> 01:03:12,411 Each following only one company God 810 01:03:12,474 --> 01:03:13,859 and no other. 811 01:03:14,104 --> 01:03:16,500 Which company, am I a member of? 812 01:03:16,525 --> 01:03:18,364 Which God should I pray to? 813 01:03:18,622 --> 01:03:22,525 Knowing this was essential to finding my remote. 814 01:03:37,976 --> 01:03:39,282 What are you doing? 815 01:03:39,300 --> 01:03:40,965 Where is the hallmark seal? 816 01:03:41,611 --> 01:03:43,093 Which hallmark seal? 817 01:03:43,560 --> 01:03:45,250 The religious stamp? 818 01:03:46,095 --> 01:03:49,119 How can one tell, which Company God this child belongs to? 819 01:03:49,340 --> 01:03:51,766 Where does God put his stamp? 820 01:03:52,641 --> 01:03:53,839 Security! 821 01:04:00,806 --> 01:04:04,104 Finding my religion was a tough problem. 822 01:04:04,175 --> 01:04:06,011 But there was a way around it. 823 01:04:06,310 --> 01:04:08,529 I would pray to all Gods 824 01:04:09,153 --> 01:04:11,528 One of them must be my God, 825 01:04:11,757 --> 01:04:13,310 who would hear my plea. 826 01:04:13,507 --> 01:04:18,662 ♪ I've heard that You run the whole world, 827 01:04:19,796 --> 01:04:25,557 ♪ Listen to my prayer too, my home calls me 828 01:04:25,986 --> 01:04:28,065 ♪ O Lord 829 01:04:28,266 --> 01:04:31,544 ♪ Where are you? 830 01:04:33,091 --> 01:04:37,872 ♪ Khuda*, where are you? (Allah) 831 01:04:39,976 --> 01:04:45,666 ♪ I've heard you show the path to lost hearts 832 01:04:46,467 --> 01:04:49,677 ♪ I am lost too 833 01:04:49,986 --> 01:04:52,575 ♪ My home calls me back 834 01:04:52,833 --> 01:04:57,883 ♪ O Lord, where are you? 835 01:04:59,978 --> 01:05:04,628 ♪ Khuda*, where are you? (Allah) 836 01:05:33,411 --> 01:05:36,664 ♪ Should I offer puja*? (Hindu), 837 01:05:36,852 --> 01:05:39,706 ♪ or should I offer namaaz*? (Muslim) 838 01:05:40,013 --> 01:05:44,989 ♪ Should I offer ardaas*? (Sikh) 839 01:05:46,552 --> 01:05:49,861 ♪ You are neither found in the temple 840 01:05:50,367 --> 01:05:53,152 ♪ nor in the Church, 841 01:05:53,709 --> 01:05:58,957 ♪ My tired eyes look for you. 842 01:06:00,503 --> 01:06:05,010 ♪ My tired eyes look for you. 843 01:06:06,882 --> 01:06:10,648 ♪ My tired eyes look for you. 844 01:06:17,210 --> 01:06:23,282 ♪ I observe all the rites correctly. 845 01:06:24,161 --> 01:06:29,986 ♪ I bow my head as millions do. 846 01:06:30,305 --> 01:06:34,963 ♪ O Lord, where are you? 847 01:06:37,620 --> 01:06:42,135 ♪ Khuda*, where are you? (Allah) 848 01:07:10,516 --> 01:07:13,738 ♪ You have many names 849 01:07:14,085 --> 01:07:16,981 ♪ You have many faces 850 01:07:17,553 --> 01:07:22,640 ♪ There are many paths to find you 851 01:07:24,147 --> 01:07:26,972 ♪ I walked all those paths, 852 01:07:27,726 --> 01:07:30,337 ♪ but couldn't find you. 853 01:07:30,980 --> 01:07:36,122 ♪ I can't understand what you want. 854 01:07:37,844 --> 01:07:42,891 ♪ I can't understand what you want. 855 01:07:44,248 --> 01:07:49,606 ♪ I can't understand what you want. 856 01:07:54,649 --> 01:08:00,774 ♪ I perform rites, without thinking or understanding 857 01:08:01,591 --> 01:08:07,344 ♪ I follow your commands, obediently. 858 01:08:07,797 --> 01:08:09,305 ♪ O Lord, 859 01:08:09,995 --> 01:08:13,916 ♪ Where are you? 860 01:08:14,765 --> 01:08:19,876 ♪ Khuda*, where are you? (Allah) 861 01:08:21,106 --> 01:08:27,196 ♪ O Lord, where are you? 862 01:08:27,977 --> 01:08:33,889 ♪ Khuda*, where are you? (Allah) 863 01:08:43,490 --> 01:08:45,615 I'm very confused, my Lord. 864 01:08:48,393 --> 01:08:52,323 I must be doing something wrong, that you can't hear me. 865 01:08:54,705 --> 01:08:56,455 Hear my troubles. 866 01:08:57,635 --> 01:08:59,533 Show me the way. 867 01:09:00,192 --> 01:09:01,501 Please. 868 01:09:04,607 --> 01:09:07,038 Should I hold my hands like this? 869 01:09:07,372 --> 01:09:09,802 Should I kneel at your feet 870 01:09:09,980 --> 01:09:12,154 and touch my head to the floor? 871 01:09:14,701 --> 01:09:16,735 Should I ring a bell, 872 01:09:17,184 --> 01:09:19,801 or use a loudspeaker, to wake you up? 873 01:09:20,108 --> 01:09:21,818 Should I read the Gita, 874 01:09:21,888 --> 01:09:23,207 Koran, 875 01:09:23,239 --> 01:09:24,819 or Bible? 876 01:09:26,240 --> 01:09:29,692 All your managers say something different. 877 01:09:30,734 --> 01:09:33,303 Some say, to fast on Monday, 878 01:09:33,365 --> 01:09:35,434 some, on Tuesday. 879 01:09:35,673 --> 01:09:38,154 Some say, eat before sunrise, 880 01:09:38,179 --> 01:09:40,662 some, after sunset. 881 01:09:41,306 --> 01:09:43,561 Some say, worship cows, 882 01:09:43,767 --> 01:09:45,729 others say, sacrfice cows. 883 01:09:45,900 --> 01:09:48,227 Some say, bare feet in the temple, 884 01:09:48,302 --> 01:09:50,625 some say, wear boots in church. 885 01:09:52,056 --> 01:09:54,419 Who's right? Who's wrong? 886 01:09:55,132 --> 01:09:57,325 I don't understand any of this. 887 01:09:59,179 --> 01:10:01,343 It's frustrating, God. 888 01:10:04,257 --> 01:10:06,053 I just want to go home. 889 01:10:06,982 --> 01:10:08,966 I'll do whatever you want. 890 01:10:09,302 --> 01:10:11,013 Just take me home, 891 01:10:11,466 --> 01:10:12,654 please. 892 01:10:14,771 --> 01:10:16,552 Say something. 893 01:10:17,621 --> 01:10:19,658 Wherever you are, 894 01:10:20,418 --> 01:10:21,910 answer me, 895 01:10:22,817 --> 01:10:24,100 please. 896 01:10:26,371 --> 01:10:27,543 Please. 897 01:10:29,487 --> 01:10:30,779 Please. 898 01:10:41,087 --> 01:10:43,779 [MISSING] 899 01:11:38,726 --> 01:11:40,870 Hey, why'd you lock the door? 900 01:11:40,883 --> 01:11:43,059 I won't let you go this time! 901 01:11:43,153 --> 01:11:44,990 My big entrance is next. 902 01:11:45,036 --> 01:11:47,052 "Shiva, destroyer of evil" 903 01:11:47,255 --> 01:11:48,966 "afraid of nothing..." 904 01:11:49,083 --> 01:11:50,607 Security! 905 01:11:50,915 --> 01:11:54,017 - Who are you? - Don't recognize me, huh?! 906 01:11:54,125 --> 01:11:57,026 I'm PK. PK! (I'm drunk) 907 01:11:57,911 --> 01:12:00,075 Security!... Anybody? 908 01:12:00,079 --> 01:12:04,533 Some drunk locked the toilet. I can't do my act from here! 909 01:12:05,603 --> 01:12:07,899 Open the door... now! 910 01:12:07,981 --> 01:12:09,754 First, my remote! 911 01:12:09,782 --> 01:12:11,311 What remote? 912 01:12:11,375 --> 01:12:13,052 My spaceship's remote. 913 01:12:13,533 --> 01:12:14,986 Spaceship? 914 01:12:15,085 --> 01:12:16,392 You forgot? 915 01:12:16,403 --> 01:12:18,487 I told you so many times! 916 01:12:18,500 --> 01:12:21,637 I'm not from this planet, I come from far away. 917 01:12:21,675 --> 01:12:22,990 Put this away! 918 01:12:23,028 --> 01:12:25,677 Just get my remote, so I can go home. 919 01:12:25,871 --> 01:12:27,059 Understand? 920 01:12:27,180 --> 01:12:30,333 Brother, let me go, I have small children. 921 01:12:30,475 --> 01:12:33,000 I know... Ganesh and Kartik. 922 01:12:33,023 --> 01:12:35,741 They're all grown up, they're OK on their own. 923 01:12:35,800 --> 01:12:37,201 Get my remote... 924 01:12:37,240 --> 01:12:39,316 then, go see your family. 925 01:12:39,453 --> 01:12:42,908 - Lord, save me. - There's a Lord above you?! 926 01:12:42,939 --> 01:12:44,566 Om namah Shivaya (adoration to Shiva) 927 01:12:44,581 --> 01:12:45,996 Where? 928 01:12:47,746 --> 01:12:51,678 Now presenting the dance of Shiva, the fearless! 929 01:12:51,706 --> 01:12:53,596 Save me! 930 01:12:56,516 --> 01:12:57,996 Save me ! 931 01:13:04,305 --> 01:13:07,327 Somebody help! 932 01:13:27,920 --> 01:13:29,381 Ohmm... 933 01:13:48,036 --> 01:13:50,942 Bole, bole, bole... 934 01:13:52,743 --> 01:13:55,805 I was in the snow-capped Himalayas, 935 01:13:56,009 --> 01:13:58,306 in deep meditation. 936 01:13:58,742 --> 01:14:00,973 Suddenly... a light. 937 01:14:02,183 --> 01:14:04,120 A great infinte light... 938 01:14:05,096 --> 01:14:10,320 emanating from a small object on the ground. 939 01:14:11,191 --> 01:14:12,669 I looked at it. 940 01:14:13,214 --> 01:14:15,277 I closed my eyes in meditation. 941 01:14:15,778 --> 01:14:18,590 Suddenly, I felt a connection to God. 942 01:14:19,028 --> 01:14:21,660 God, enlighten me. 943 01:14:21,965 --> 01:14:24,269 What is this marvellous object... 944 01:14:24,332 --> 01:14:27,841 which, even in the snows of winter gives me warmth? 945 01:14:28,191 --> 01:14:30,403 And God said, "my son, 946 01:14:30,436 --> 01:14:34,807 "it's a jewel from Lord Shiva's broken pellet drum. 947 01:14:34,834 --> 01:14:36,213 "Take it. 948 01:14:36,426 --> 01:14:40,239 "Take it and build a shrine to venerate it. 949 01:14:40,395 --> 01:14:42,849 "For, the mere sight of it 950 01:14:42,889 --> 01:14:46,768 "will dispel the suffering of all loyal devotees." 951 01:14:46,775 --> 01:14:48,994 Hail the Great Lord Shiva! (bole bole...) 952 01:14:50,527 --> 01:14:53,089 Would you like to see it? 953 01:14:53,434 --> 01:14:57,536 The jewel from Lord Shiva's broken drum? 954 01:15:00,417 --> 01:15:04,551 Bole-bole, bole. Bumm-bumm, bole (Hail the Great Lord Shiva) 955 01:15:05,308 --> 01:15:09,442 Bole-bole, bole. Bumm-bumm, bole 956 01:15:18,029 --> 01:15:20,847 Bumm-bumm, bole! Bumm-bumm, bole! 957 01:15:20,924 --> 01:15:23,044 A miracle! A miracle! 958 01:15:23,155 --> 01:15:25,432 - Stop! - Don't stop him. 959 01:15:25,458 --> 01:15:28,310 Let him come, he's just excited. Come. 960 01:15:28,404 --> 01:15:30,275 Bumm-bumm, bole! Greetings. 961 01:15:30,391 --> 01:15:32,813 Not there, my son, here. 962 01:15:33,615 --> 01:15:37,662 Say what you want, right here. Bumm-bumm, bole! 963 01:15:37,990 --> 01:15:39,739 Bumm-bumm, bole! 964 01:15:39,888 --> 01:15:41,993 Praise the Lord! 965 01:15:42,162 --> 01:15:43,722 Lord, where are you? 966 01:15:43,813 --> 01:15:47,379 Come on stage. I want to thank you. 967 01:15:48,179 --> 01:15:49,868 He's here. 968 01:15:50,085 --> 01:15:51,900 I met Him in the toilet. 969 01:15:51,910 --> 01:15:54,402 I asked for my lost property and he ran off. 970 01:15:54,451 --> 01:15:57,149 I wondered, why is He running away? 971 01:15:57,152 --> 01:15:58,244 But, no!... 972 01:15:58,263 --> 01:16:00,822 He was leading me here, to my property. 973 01:16:00,923 --> 01:16:03,399 Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord! 974 01:16:04,295 --> 01:16:06,498 This is not a jewel from Shiva's drum. 975 01:16:06,552 --> 01:16:09,456 It's my property, delivered to you by mistake. 976 01:16:09,573 --> 01:16:11,817 And your jewel ended up somewhere else. 977 01:16:11,878 --> 01:16:13,635 Just ask Him. He's here. 978 01:16:13,678 --> 01:16:16,646 God, come up front. Tell him. 979 01:16:18,422 --> 01:16:21,923 OK, I'll just take my property and go, huh? 980 01:16:24,193 --> 01:16:26,615 - Stop brother. - Oh!.. Its mine. 981 01:16:29,208 --> 01:16:32,169 Bole bole... 982 01:16:45,121 --> 01:16:48,658 ♪ A traveller of dreams, 983 01:16:50,383 --> 01:16:53,542 ♪ Neither a devotee, nor an unbeliever. 984 01:16:55,590 --> 01:16:59,296 ♪ O God, please tell me, 985 01:17:00,755 --> 01:17:04,453 ♪ Where am I at, now? 986 01:17:05,595 --> 01:17:10,499 ♪ Why play hide and seek with me? 987 01:17:10,867 --> 01:17:14,914 ♪ Take me home, O God. 988 01:17:15,285 --> 01:17:20,055 ♪ My heart seeks refuge. 989 01:17:20,506 --> 01:17:25,300 ♪ My heart seeks refuge. 990 01:17:32,155 --> 01:17:34,862 How long have you felt... 991 01:17:35,161 --> 01:17:37,228 that you're from another planet? 992 01:17:39,865 --> 01:17:41,144 Listen. 993 01:17:41,262 --> 01:17:43,700 You need a psychiatrist. 994 01:17:43,904 --> 01:17:45,918 A mental doctor. 995 01:17:46,606 --> 01:17:48,095 Time to go, Madam. 996 01:17:48,097 --> 01:17:50,897 That's all the jail time you get for 500 rupees. 997 01:17:50,899 --> 01:17:52,300 One minute. 998 01:17:58,189 --> 01:17:59,789 Here's my card. 999 01:18:00,925 --> 01:18:02,408 That's my number. 1000 01:18:02,493 --> 01:18:05,256 I can arrange a session with a psychiatrist. 1001 01:18:05,402 --> 01:18:07,791 Call me anytime, Ok? 1002 01:18:09,203 --> 01:18:10,515 Take care. 1003 01:18:13,011 --> 01:18:14,476 Thank you, Pandit ji. 1004 01:18:16,703 --> 01:18:19,081 You think my story is fake? 1005 01:18:21,890 --> 01:18:24,943 Go, broadcast your suicidal dog story. 1006 01:18:25,006 --> 01:18:26,366 Nikku,... 1007 01:18:26,401 --> 01:18:28,793 that is your destiny! 1008 01:18:35,878 --> 01:18:39,307 Pandit ji. I want to go back. 2 more minutes. 1009 01:18:40,286 --> 01:18:43,668 What's all this in and out? 1010 01:18:43,808 --> 01:18:45,297 How about this? 1011 01:18:45,340 --> 01:18:48,808 Another 500 rupees, and you take him with you. 1012 01:18:48,863 --> 01:18:50,910 Nikku, the suicidal dog... 1013 01:18:51,151 --> 01:18:52,943 When did I tell you this? 1014 01:18:52,978 --> 01:18:54,337 You didn't. 1015 01:18:54,841 --> 01:18:56,650 How do you know, then? 1016 01:18:57,086 --> 01:18:59,036 I read your mind... 1017 01:18:59,170 --> 01:19:02,266 when you held my hand. 1018 01:19:02,541 --> 01:19:04,382 You thought, my story is bogus. 1019 01:19:04,392 --> 01:19:06,826 It's your fate to do stories like Nikku's. 1020 01:19:06,832 --> 01:19:08,761 Liar! I must have told you. 1021 01:19:08,817 --> 01:19:11,605 - Don't lie! - Madam, I don't know how. 1022 01:19:11,693 --> 01:19:13,660 To lie, you must twist words. 1023 01:19:13,715 --> 01:19:16,767 On my world, we hold hands and read the mind directly. 1024 01:19:17,785 --> 01:19:20,176 - Gimme your hand. - No way. - C'mon... 1025 01:19:20,200 --> 01:19:23,831 Help me, son, I took my sick wife to the hospital. 1026 01:19:23,917 --> 01:19:27,795 They want 10,000 rupees to admit her and I'm short, 500. 1027 01:19:27,849 --> 01:19:31,421 Could you let me have 500 rupees, son? 1028 01:19:31,535 --> 01:19:32,716 Here... 1029 01:19:34,008 --> 01:19:35,286 There you go. 1030 01:19:35,303 --> 01:19:38,082 Give me your address, I'll send you a money order. 1031 01:19:38,138 --> 01:19:41,507 Where I live, money orders can't go. Keep it. 1032 01:19:41,683 --> 01:19:43,817 Thank you, son. 1033 01:19:44,025 --> 01:19:45,441 Uncle! 1034 01:19:45,796 --> 01:19:48,738 Here's 100 more, for the tip. 1035 01:19:51,115 --> 01:19:53,169 God bless you, son. 1036 01:19:54,142 --> 01:19:58,263 Look, that's proof, you can't read minds. 1037 01:19:58,438 --> 01:20:01,583 Can't you see? He made a fool out of you. 1038 01:20:01,716 --> 01:20:03,481 There's no hospital, nearby. 1039 01:20:03,629 --> 01:20:04,992 I know. 1040 01:20:05,162 --> 01:20:08,122 He's treating his wife to dinner at a 5 star hotel. 1041 01:20:08,199 --> 01:20:10,121 It's her 75th birthday, 1042 01:20:10,295 --> 01:20:13,090 and she's never been to 5 star hotel. 1043 01:20:13,285 --> 01:20:16,271 He's been saving a bit from his pension, each month. 1044 01:20:16,334 --> 01:20:19,678 But, she ordered an extra ice cream. It cost more than he'd planned. 1045 01:20:19,700 --> 01:20:22,940 So, he excused himself to the bathroom but came here for money. 1046 01:20:22,967 --> 01:20:24,568 What a load of crap! 1047 01:20:25,304 --> 01:20:28,272 Madam, on our planet nobody lies. 1048 01:20:29,512 --> 01:20:31,053 Believe it or not. 1049 01:21:31,690 --> 01:21:33,566 Wait, hold on. 1050 01:21:34,278 --> 01:21:35,730 You give it to him. 1051 01:21:35,938 --> 01:21:39,927 It's your birthday, enjoy! 1052 01:22:10,882 --> 01:22:13,460 [Agrasen's Baoli] 1053 01:22:22,631 --> 01:22:25,115 [Agrasen's Baoli] (stepwell) 1054 01:22:37,300 --> 01:22:40,191 I told you. Nobody lies on my planet. 1055 01:22:42,595 --> 01:22:44,541 Did you tell anybody... 1056 01:22:51,517 --> 01:22:54,139 You didn't tell anyone you're an alien, did you? 1057 01:22:54,172 --> 01:22:55,584 No! 1058 01:22:55,645 --> 01:22:57,919 They'd lock me up in a laboratory, 1059 01:22:58,013 --> 01:23:00,594 then, do an alien autopsy. 1060 01:23:02,117 --> 01:23:04,688 Then, why did you trust me? 1061 01:23:06,371 --> 01:23:07,901 Since I got here, 1062 01:23:08,148 --> 01:23:10,006 everyone just took my money. 1063 01:23:10,099 --> 01:23:11,472 Not you. 1064 01:23:11,519 --> 01:23:13,396 In fact, it cost you 5,000 rupees 1065 01:23:13,466 --> 01:23:15,278 for a donation to help me out. 1066 01:23:15,747 --> 01:23:19,713 I felt you were a gentleman and I could trust you. 1067 01:23:22,584 --> 01:23:25,004 I'll get your remote control, PK. 1068 01:23:26,224 --> 01:23:27,786 How? 1069 01:23:28,100 --> 01:23:29,919 How -- I dont know. 1070 01:23:30,001 --> 01:23:32,644 But, I'll make sure you get home. 1071 01:23:32,670 --> 01:23:34,557 That's my promise. 1072 01:24:21,698 --> 01:24:23,495 What are you staring at? 1073 01:24:24,000 --> 01:24:25,503 You. 1074 01:24:26,224 --> 01:24:28,399 Aliens don't visit me, often. 1075 01:24:29,716 --> 01:24:32,801 Say, does everyone on your planet 1076 01:24:33,262 --> 01:24:35,358 have big ears, like you? 1077 01:24:36,321 --> 01:24:37,805 All the same. 1078 01:24:37,845 --> 01:24:40,557 And they all walk around naked? 1079 01:24:41,114 --> 01:24:43,320 Don't you find it strange? 1080 01:24:43,365 --> 01:24:45,049 That crow is naked. 1081 01:24:45,504 --> 01:24:47,137 Do you think it's strange? 1082 01:24:47,467 --> 01:24:50,239 It'd be strange, if it wore a tie. 1083 01:24:52,657 --> 01:24:55,454 PK, I couldn't sleep last night. 1084 01:24:56,272 --> 01:24:57,741 I kept thinking about 1085 01:24:57,784 --> 01:24:59,982 how to get your remote from Tapasvi. 1086 01:25:00,300 --> 01:25:01,300 Hello! 1087 01:25:01,376 --> 01:25:04,331 Hello, connect to Balbir Singh in room No. 4. 1088 01:25:04,620 --> 01:25:06,222 Wrong number. 1089 01:25:06,345 --> 01:25:08,071 Isn't this Fortis Hospital? 1090 01:25:08,213 --> 01:25:11,151 I told you yesterday, you dialled the wrong number. 1091 01:25:11,167 --> 01:25:13,040 What do you mean, 'wrong'? 1092 01:25:13,075 --> 01:25:15,566 I saved it in my mobile, personally. 1093 01:25:16,179 --> 01:25:18,983 So, what was it, you were thinking? 1094 01:25:22,184 --> 01:25:25,161 Hello, connect to Balbir Singh, room No. 4 1095 01:25:25,205 --> 01:25:28,091 - Oh, you called too late. - Huh? 1096 01:25:28,175 --> 01:25:30,419 Balbir died this morning. 1097 01:25:30,500 --> 01:25:31,957 What? 1098 01:25:32,235 --> 01:25:35,330 How could someone die in a hemorrhoid operation? 1099 01:25:35,358 --> 01:25:37,763 That is embarrassing. But, never mind, 1100 01:25:37,896 --> 01:25:40,411 the death certificate will say "heart attack". 1101 01:25:40,468 --> 01:25:42,596 Your family reputation won't be spoiled. 1102 01:25:42,669 --> 01:25:44,183 Come by to pick up the body. 1103 01:25:44,199 --> 01:25:46,463 - Yes... umm, ah... - OK, bye. 1104 01:25:49,665 --> 01:25:52,895 - Why did you say that? - Just spreading happiness. 1105 01:25:52,946 --> 01:25:54,216 When he goes to the hospital 1106 01:25:54,265 --> 01:25:55,705 and sees his friend is alive, 1107 01:25:55,712 --> 01:25:57,161 he'll be pleasantly surprised. 1108 01:25:57,174 --> 01:26:01,114 - What? - I'm fed up with his wrong numbers, 1109 01:26:01,143 --> 01:26:02,826 so I pranked him. 1110 01:26:02,969 --> 01:26:06,532 - Pranked? - PK, I was just kidding. 1111 01:26:13,210 --> 01:26:14,684 Oh... 1112 01:26:15,285 --> 01:26:16,879 Now I get it! 1113 01:26:16,894 --> 01:26:19,197 I understand everything. It's a prank! 1114 01:26:19,220 --> 01:26:21,874 When Tapasvi calls God, 1115 01:26:22,015 --> 01:26:25,052 he tilts his head and says, "God, enlighten me"... 1116 01:26:25,247 --> 01:26:27,896 it gets directed to the wrong number! 1117 01:26:28,318 --> 01:26:31,213 The person at the other end is pulling a prank. 1118 01:26:31,270 --> 01:26:33,435 Why would God say my remote 1119 01:26:33,521 --> 01:26:35,871 is a jewel from a broken drum? 1120 01:26:36,811 --> 01:26:38,514 It seems that... 1121 01:26:38,828 --> 01:26:42,003 the God-to-Earth communications system 1122 01:26:42,072 --> 01:26:43,774 is totally scrambled. 1123 01:26:43,786 --> 01:26:46,336 All managers are getting wrong numbers. 1124 01:26:46,344 --> 01:26:47,700 Meaning?... 1125 01:26:47,710 --> 01:26:52,194 That's why God was giving me weird solutions to my problems. 1126 01:26:52,659 --> 01:26:54,018 Sometimes He'd say, 1127 01:26:54,097 --> 01:26:57,107 come to me, rolling on the ground and I'll perform your request. 1128 01:26:57,176 --> 01:26:59,474 Tell me, aren't we all God's children? 1129 01:26:59,535 --> 01:27:01,750 What normal parent tells their kids, 1130 01:27:01,771 --> 01:27:05,245 "roll on the ground and I'll give you what you want"? 1131 01:27:05,401 --> 01:27:07,011 Did your papa ever say, 1132 01:27:07,089 --> 01:27:10,290 "if you want a new dress, roll on the ground"? 1133 01:27:10,876 --> 01:27:14,210 Sometimes He says, "bathe me in milk daily". 1134 01:27:14,288 --> 01:27:15,736 How bizarre! 1135 01:27:16,000 --> 01:27:17,400 PK... 1136 01:27:17,418 --> 01:27:20,793 if these calls reached the right number, 1137 01:27:20,970 --> 01:27:22,776 what would He say? 1138 01:27:22,808 --> 01:27:27,205 He'd say, "millions of my children go to sleep hungry, in the streets. 1139 01:27:27,282 --> 01:27:31,122 "Give the milk to THEM, why drench ME in milk?!" 1140 01:27:31,361 --> 01:27:33,521 I'm sure someone is pranking, 1141 01:27:33,590 --> 01:27:35,500 just like you did. 1142 01:27:35,546 --> 01:27:38,031 PK thought Tapasvi was on the level. 1143 01:27:38,076 --> 01:27:40,729 But, I said nothing to clarify his confusion. 1144 01:27:40,738 --> 01:27:43,275 Because an idea came into my head. 1145 01:27:43,426 --> 01:27:46,893 An idea that would get PK's remote back. 1146 01:27:48,365 --> 01:27:50,009 Who is this PK? 1147 01:27:50,047 --> 01:27:52,337 No idea, who he is, or where he's from. 1148 01:27:52,372 --> 01:27:55,347 But, he sees the world in his own special way. 1149 01:27:55,484 --> 01:27:57,370 - Meaning? - Meaning... 1150 01:27:57,400 --> 01:27:58,894 If he sees you smoking, 1151 01:27:58,973 --> 01:28:01,700 he'll call the police, saying you're committing suicide. 1152 01:28:01,714 --> 01:28:02,906 Why? 1153 01:28:02,919 --> 01:28:06,040 Because the packet says: "Smoking Kills" 1154 01:28:07,099 --> 01:28:08,734 So, what's your angle? 1155 01:28:10,712 --> 01:28:12,409 A great war. 1156 01:28:12,484 --> 01:28:15,669 We arrange a face-off between Tapasvi and PK. 1157 01:28:15,791 --> 01:28:18,357 We just broadcast what they say. 1158 01:28:18,401 --> 01:28:21,190 TRP will go sky-high! (Target Ratings Points) 1159 01:28:21,196 --> 01:28:24,601 Jaggu, I already have 3 scars on my right bum. 1160 01:28:24,740 --> 01:28:28,449 You want the left bum to balance is that what you're saying? 1161 01:28:28,457 --> 01:28:31,029 No, Jerry, the best thing about this war 1162 01:28:31,045 --> 01:28:33,176 is that PK won't fight with Tapasvi. 1163 01:28:33,200 --> 01:28:38,255 He will calmly explain that Tapasvi reached the wrong number. 1164 01:28:38,434 --> 01:28:41,059 Tapasvi will have no idea how to answer him. 1165 01:28:41,903 --> 01:28:43,804 Jerry... Jerry... 1166 01:28:44,326 --> 01:28:46,960 He's sitting out there, just meet him, once. 1167 01:28:47,131 --> 01:28:49,865 I challenge you to answer his questions. 1168 01:28:49,952 --> 01:28:51,403 Trust me, please. 1169 01:29:01,883 --> 01:29:03,901 Brother, this fell from your pocket. 1170 01:29:03,970 --> 01:29:05,144 Oh, thank you. 1171 01:29:09,336 --> 01:29:11,131 It's... not mine. 1172 01:29:12,391 --> 01:29:14,534 Kama Sutra, strawberry flavor. 1173 01:29:16,608 --> 01:29:18,084 I hate strawberry jam. 1174 01:29:18,239 --> 01:29:19,645 Ask them. 1175 01:29:19,739 --> 01:29:21,087 It's not mine! 1176 01:29:21,132 --> 01:29:22,629 Weirdo! 1177 01:29:24,534 --> 01:29:26,880 - Is it yours? - How dare you? 1178 01:29:26,992 --> 01:29:30,670 - Check your purse, if one's missing. - Who is this dickhead! 1179 01:29:31,973 --> 01:29:34,963 - Uncle, is it yours? - No, not mine. 1180 01:29:35,057 --> 01:29:37,211 PK ! It's his. 1181 01:29:37,393 --> 01:29:40,992 You can ask him all about it. Come. 1182 01:29:43,016 --> 01:29:44,016 Come in. 1183 01:29:46,193 --> 01:29:47,698 What is this? 1184 01:29:48,524 --> 01:29:50,151 It's a condom. 1185 01:29:50,206 --> 01:29:51,782 What's it for? 1186 01:29:51,799 --> 01:29:54,010 For world population control. 1187 01:29:55,574 --> 01:29:56,962 How? 1188 01:29:57,244 --> 01:29:58,836 By wearing it... 1189 01:30:00,115 --> 01:30:01,796 while having sex. 1190 01:30:04,178 --> 01:30:07,147 How is the world's population controlled if you wear this? 1191 01:30:07,251 --> 01:30:10,283 Not just me. Millions of people wear it. 1192 01:30:10,829 --> 01:30:12,734 Do you give these to everyone? 1193 01:30:13,193 --> 01:30:14,448 Everyone has them. 1194 01:30:14,943 --> 01:30:16,200 I have a question. 1195 01:30:16,218 --> 01:30:18,330 Ask, PK. Ask anything! 1196 01:30:18,892 --> 01:30:23,387 When money drops, everyone says "it's mine, it's mine". 1197 01:30:23,458 --> 01:30:25,529 But when a condom drops, everyone's afraid 1198 01:30:25,599 --> 01:30:28,792 and runs off, saying "its not mine". Why is that? 1199 01:30:29,385 --> 01:30:31,781 You see, sex is a private matter. 1200 01:30:32,096 --> 01:30:33,096 Why? 1201 01:30:33,098 --> 01:30:36,438 You don't simply announce to the world "today I'm having sex". 1202 01:30:37,373 --> 01:30:38,809 But, in wedding ceremonies, 1203 01:30:39,560 --> 01:30:42,202 don't the firecrackers, loudspeakers and orchestras... 1204 01:30:42,231 --> 01:30:45,993 announce to the whole town: "today I'm having sex"? 1205 01:30:49,341 --> 01:30:50,568 What? 1206 01:30:51,263 --> 01:30:53,315 I don't have a reply to that. 1207 01:30:53,674 --> 01:30:55,872 But, I do have a job for you. 1208 01:30:59,850 --> 01:31:02,607 Let's go, before he changes his mind. 1209 01:31:05,203 --> 01:31:07,901 Watch your ass, Tapasvi, 1210 01:31:07,977 --> 01:31:10,477 my *trishul's coming at you! (trident) 1211 01:31:14,518 --> 01:31:19,230 PK, Tapasvi ji meets his followers here every day to talk to God. 1212 01:31:19,643 --> 01:31:22,612 We'll go in and listen to their phone calls. 1213 01:31:22,809 --> 01:31:26,187 When you feel there's a mix-up with the line, tell him. 1214 01:31:26,239 --> 01:31:29,429 Explain to him that his calls are going to the wrong number. 1215 01:31:29,540 --> 01:31:31,333 Then he'll return my remote? 1216 01:31:31,354 --> 01:31:32,982 Once he sees it's a prank 1217 01:31:33,043 --> 01:31:37,325 he'll realise the story about the jewel from Shiva's drum is false, 1218 01:31:37,411 --> 01:31:39,275 and return your remote control. 1219 01:31:39,566 --> 01:31:41,216 Ok, I'll explain it to him. 1220 01:31:42,901 --> 01:31:45,658 To build a house is virtuous. 1221 01:31:45,748 --> 01:31:49,361 To build God's house, is the greatest virtue. 1222 01:31:50,603 --> 01:31:52,976 Open wide your arms and give, 1223 01:31:53,382 --> 01:31:56,078 to rid yourselves of suffering. 1224 01:31:57,031 --> 01:32:00,277 Tell me, devotee, what troubles you? 1225 01:32:01,666 --> 01:32:06,155 Tapasvi ji, my wife's been paralysed for 6 months. 1226 01:32:06,508 --> 01:32:08,860 The doctors have done all they can. 1227 01:32:08,897 --> 01:32:10,627 I wish you would... 1228 01:32:11,795 --> 01:32:15,255 God, enlighten me. 1229 01:32:22,403 --> 01:32:23,987 Yes. 1230 01:32:27,221 --> 01:32:28,977 What else, God? 1231 01:32:34,155 --> 01:32:35,791 Where? 1232 01:32:38,634 --> 01:32:40,544 As you wish, God. 1233 01:32:43,868 --> 01:32:46,483 Have you heard of the Rathong glacier? 1234 01:32:46,555 --> 01:32:47,955 No, sir. 1235 01:32:48,373 --> 01:32:52,961 It's in the Himalayas. Take the train to Siliguri. 1236 01:32:53,479 --> 01:32:56,752 From there take the bus to Gangtok. 1237 01:32:57,010 --> 01:33:01,570 From there bareoot... for 8 days. 1238 01:33:02,182 --> 01:33:06,857 On Mount Kanchenjunga is God's divine temple. 1239 01:33:07,639 --> 01:33:09,139 Go there, 1240 01:33:09,606 --> 01:33:11,204 your wish will be fulfilled. 1241 01:33:11,207 --> 01:33:13,330 Wrong number! It's a wrong number. 1242 01:33:13,857 --> 01:33:15,761 - What? - Wrong number. 1243 01:33:15,789 --> 01:33:17,004 Tapasvi ji, 1244 01:33:17,010 --> 01:33:21,341 the technology you're using to reach God is faulty. 1245 01:33:21,888 --> 01:33:24,095 All your calls are going to a wrong number, 1246 01:33:24,217 --> 01:33:28,151 and some duplicate God, there, is pulling a prank on you. 1247 01:33:28,278 --> 01:33:31,738 Wh-what are you trying to say? 1248 01:33:31,850 --> 01:33:34,659 I'll explain. We're all God's children, right? 1249 01:33:35,052 --> 01:33:36,552 Yes, so? 1250 01:33:36,595 --> 01:33:39,372 Suppose your child comes to you with a problem. 1251 01:33:39,474 --> 01:33:42,032 What would you do? Solve his problem, right? 1252 01:33:42,231 --> 01:33:46,818 Or, would you say, 2000 km. away I have another house. 1253 01:33:46,981 --> 01:33:50,121 Visit me there and explain your problem once again, 1254 01:33:50,300 --> 01:33:52,857 then, I'll resolve it. How absurd! 1255 01:33:53,021 --> 01:33:55,594 If your call had reached the right God, 1256 01:33:55,597 --> 01:33:58,491 He'd have said, take care of you sick wife. 1257 01:33:58,666 --> 01:34:01,299 Why leave her, and chase after Me? 1258 01:34:01,315 --> 01:34:04,424 One day, you'll die. You can meet Me, then. 1259 01:34:04,442 --> 01:34:06,781 For now, spend time with her. 1260 01:34:07,000 --> 01:34:08,489 Right? 1261 01:34:12,350 --> 01:34:15,286 I can prove someone's pulling your leg. 1262 01:34:15,300 --> 01:34:17,300 Tapasvi ji, call God again. 1263 01:34:17,309 --> 01:34:21,339 Ask Him, if He'll guarantee that Aunty will be cured. 1264 01:34:21,410 --> 01:34:25,449 Uncle, get written confirmation first. Don't leave Aunty without it. 1265 01:34:25,524 --> 01:34:28,586 Call now, everything will be clarified. 1266 01:34:29,360 --> 01:34:32,729 It's time for Tapasvi ji's meditation. 1267 01:34:34,271 --> 01:34:37,261 ♪ Oh God, destroyer of all evils 1268 01:34:37,310 --> 01:34:41,729 ♪ Remover of all suffering Hail the Lord ! 1269 01:34:46,008 --> 01:34:47,541 Hey, Tapasviji, 1270 01:34:47,751 --> 01:34:51,771 that false God who misled you has also stolen my remote. 1271 01:34:55,930 --> 01:34:58,093 It's not God, but a fraud. 1272 01:34:59,615 --> 01:35:01,670 Fraud!...Fraud!...Fraud! 1273 01:35:01,759 --> 01:35:05,367 So far, nobody has ever seen or heard God. 1274 01:35:05,516 --> 01:35:07,427 What God expects of us, 1275 01:35:07,503 --> 01:35:09,849 we hear through His so-called managers. 1276 01:35:09,938 --> 01:35:11,793 PK raised an important question. 1277 01:35:11,885 --> 01:35:13,185 What? 1278 01:35:14,449 --> 01:35:18,033 Do these God's Managers ever reach the true God? 1279 01:35:18,044 --> 01:35:19,144 No! 1280 01:35:19,150 --> 01:35:23,398 Do the answers come from God, or is it fraud? 1281 01:35:23,747 --> 01:35:27,232 - All, wrong numbers! - PK, what can people do? 1282 01:35:27,310 --> 01:35:29,646 Until the network lines are fixed, 1283 01:35:29,700 --> 01:35:32,690 we should resolve our problems, 1284 01:35:32,732 --> 01:35:34,308 by helping each other. 1285 01:35:34,362 --> 01:35:36,207 PK makes an important point. 1286 01:35:36,221 --> 01:35:39,882 As long as the managers cannot contact the true God, 1287 01:35:40,005 --> 01:35:44,106 we should not seek their aid, but simply help each other. 1288 01:35:47,440 --> 01:35:49,776 Bole-bole bole bumm-bumm bole! 1289 01:35:49,840 --> 01:35:51,776 Bumm-bumm bole! Bumm-bumm bole! 1290 01:35:51,982 --> 01:35:54,341 PK says this temple shouldn't be built, 1291 01:35:54,400 --> 01:35:56,477 because that jewel is his property. 1292 01:35:56,525 --> 01:35:58,377 What's in your pocket? 1293 01:36:01,158 --> 01:36:03,008 You smoke cigarettes, huh? 1294 01:36:03,016 --> 01:36:04,231 Yes. 1295 01:36:04,234 --> 01:36:06,088 Drink alcohol too, right? 1296 01:36:07,130 --> 01:36:08,530 Occasionally. 1297 01:36:08,539 --> 01:36:11,605 You smoke cigarettes and drink 1298 01:36:11,746 --> 01:36:15,118 after knowing that it kills. 1299 01:36:16,202 --> 01:36:18,308 The government issues permits, 1300 01:36:18,824 --> 01:36:21,220 factories produce this poison, 1301 01:36:21,298 --> 01:36:24,058 and it's sold openly in shops. 1302 01:36:24,174 --> 01:36:26,681 Yet, nobody questions that. 1303 01:36:26,776 --> 01:36:29,579 But, when I choose this holy site,... 1304 01:36:29,657 --> 01:36:31,930 the birthplace of Rama,... 1305 01:36:32,016 --> 01:36:34,510 sacred to Lord Krishna,... 1306 01:36:34,606 --> 01:36:36,758 and wish to build a temple,... 1307 01:36:37,721 --> 01:36:39,635 why all these questions? 1308 01:36:40,682 --> 01:36:43,200 If you want to ask questions,... 1309 01:36:43,278 --> 01:36:45,340 then question, the one... 1310 01:36:45,403 --> 01:36:48,060 who's trying to stop construction. 1311 01:36:48,139 --> 01:36:49,909 Who is this PK? 1312 01:36:50,323 --> 01:36:52,854 Is he Parwesh Khan? (Muslim) 1313 01:36:53,501 --> 01:36:56,100 Or Pasha Khaman? (anti-Hindu) 1314 01:36:56,200 --> 01:36:58,010 Please do me a favour. 1315 01:36:58,509 --> 01:37:02,857 If you want to ask questions, ask PK... 1316 01:37:02,881 --> 01:37:04,994 What's his religion? 1317 01:37:05,010 --> 01:37:07,637 His beliefs, his customs,... 1318 01:37:07,708 --> 01:37:09,521 what are they? 1319 01:37:11,902 --> 01:37:15,475 Long ago, a man named Mahmood Ghazni (971–1030 ad) 1320 01:37:15,794 --> 01:37:17,716 came to to destroy our temples. 1321 01:37:18,467 --> 01:37:23,053 Today, another man intends to repeat history. 1322 01:37:23,190 --> 01:37:25,066 A man, who... 1323 01:37:51,134 --> 01:37:53,832 Tapasvi ji, can you phone your God? 1324 01:37:53,873 --> 01:37:55,949 He wants to know my religion, huh? 1325 01:37:55,996 --> 01:37:58,787 Ask Him what is the religion of these children of His. 1326 01:37:58,854 --> 01:38:01,005 What kind of joke is this? 1327 01:38:01,060 --> 01:38:02,786 Call Him up and ask. 1328 01:38:02,872 --> 01:38:05,586 I don't have to ask God their religion. 1329 01:38:05,672 --> 01:38:07,430 I can tell that, myself. 1330 01:38:07,638 --> 01:38:11,654 He's Hindu, he's Catholic, he's Sikh, he's Jain... 1331 01:38:11,700 --> 01:38:13,197 and this one,... 1332 01:38:13,279 --> 01:38:15,568 must be of your sect, a Muslim. 1333 01:38:16,206 --> 01:38:19,252 Could you tell Tapasvi ji your names, now? 1334 01:38:19,358 --> 01:38:23,564 Hello ji, my name is Sukhwinder Singh, Bedi.(Sikh) 1335 01:38:23,691 --> 01:38:26,706 Assalamu alaikum. My name is Abbas Ali Yaakob.(Muslim) 1336 01:38:26,814 --> 01:38:28,801 Jai Hind (Hail India), My name is Mahaveer, Jain. 1337 01:38:28,904 --> 01:38:31,227 Hi, I'm Christopher D'Souza. (Catholic) 1338 01:38:31,808 --> 01:38:34,962 Namaskar. My name is Jagat Janini Sahni. (Hindu) 1339 01:38:35,105 --> 01:38:37,248 Hm! Confusing, eh? 1340 01:38:37,316 --> 01:38:39,823 I switched their clothes randomly. 1341 01:38:39,900 --> 01:38:41,381 Get it? 1342 01:38:41,416 --> 01:38:43,400 Religion is connected to fashion. 1343 01:38:43,462 --> 01:38:46,701 Let me explain. Come here. 1344 01:38:46,886 --> 01:38:49,966 Beard and turban means Sikh. 1345 01:38:50,320 --> 01:38:53,034 Remove the turban -- Hindu. 1346 01:38:53,146 --> 01:38:56,845 Remove the moustache -- Muslim. 1347 01:38:57,019 --> 01:39:00,234 These differences were made up by a duplicate God. 1348 01:39:00,249 --> 01:39:02,177 If the real God wanted differences, 1349 01:39:02,184 --> 01:39:05,258 He'd stamp the body permanently. Check your own body. 1350 01:39:05,274 --> 01:39:07,386 - Mine? - Why are you looking at me? 1351 01:39:07,464 --> 01:39:09,316 Remove your clothes and check. 1352 01:39:09,859 --> 01:39:11,435 Don't be shy! 1353 01:39:11,724 --> 01:39:13,754 Let's all take off our clothes 1354 01:39:13,760 --> 01:39:16,967 and show Tapasvi ji if there's a stamp on our bodies. 1355 01:39:17,351 --> 01:39:20,190 Why so shy? OK, I'll go first. 1356 01:39:23,420 --> 01:39:24,990 Look. 1357 01:39:27,164 --> 01:39:29,359 Is there a stamp, huh? 1358 01:39:29,409 --> 01:39:31,005 See? Any marks at all? 1359 01:39:31,092 --> 01:39:32,342 Anything, at all? 1360 01:39:32,745 --> 01:39:35,132 Any marks? OK! 1361 01:39:35,200 --> 01:39:36,683 - HEY ! 1362 01:39:36,785 --> 01:39:38,929 Get him out of here! 1363 01:39:39,674 --> 01:39:42,700 What are you doing? Let me show my proof. 1364 01:39:42,794 --> 01:39:45,025 Start chanting to the Lord! 1365 01:39:48,830 --> 01:39:51,130 It's my property, not God's. 1366 01:39:59,284 --> 01:40:00,581 Jaggu! 1367 01:40:01,449 --> 01:40:03,174 Stop all this nonsense! 1368 01:40:03,310 --> 01:40:04,569 Papa? 1369 01:40:06,548 --> 01:40:10,752 You were just 40 days old when Tapasvi ji named you. 1370 01:40:10,896 --> 01:40:15,143 Remember, that the one who gave you your name can also ruin it. 1371 01:40:15,318 --> 01:40:17,747 Papa, he named me Jagat Janani. 1372 01:40:17,841 --> 01:40:19,713 How much more can he ruin me? 1373 01:40:19,789 --> 01:40:20,908 You! 1374 01:40:21,371 --> 01:40:23,716 How much money do you want? - Papa! 1375 01:40:23,793 --> 01:40:26,607 You're trying to extort money from Tapasvi ji! 1376 01:40:26,626 --> 01:40:27,739 No. 1377 01:40:27,740 --> 01:40:29,646 You'll burn in hell ! 1378 01:40:29,754 --> 01:40:32,197 Beware, the wrath of God ! 1379 01:40:37,471 --> 01:40:40,419 Thank you papa, thank you. 1380 01:40:40,970 --> 01:40:44,511 I barely understood half of it. Now, I understand it all! 1381 01:40:44,929 --> 01:40:46,693 This game's all about fear. 1382 01:40:46,755 --> 01:40:49,575 The wrong number fellow isn't just pulling pranks, 1383 01:40:49,629 --> 01:40:52,067 he's exploiting our fear. Get it? 1384 01:40:53,017 --> 01:40:55,074 PK, can you explain it to papa? 1385 01:40:55,320 --> 01:40:57,788 U-huh! I can explain and prove it. 1386 01:40:57,867 --> 01:40:59,628 Come, come. 1387 01:41:00,412 --> 01:41:02,880 I don't have time for this nonsense. 1388 01:41:02,965 --> 01:41:06,724 Papa, if this is nonsense, I'll stop my TV show. 1389 01:41:19,280 --> 01:41:21,950 Papa, this college is having exams. 1390 01:41:22,036 --> 01:41:24,230 Students are all in a panic. 1391 01:41:24,346 --> 01:41:26,857 Now we'll start our fear business. 1392 01:41:26,983 --> 01:41:28,608 I'll show you. 1393 01:41:31,263 --> 01:41:32,563 Come. 1394 01:41:40,496 --> 01:41:43,046 Here's the plant machinery. 1395 01:41:47,910 --> 01:41:50,317 Initial investment. 1396 01:41:54,614 --> 01:41:58,245 And now, the inauguration. 1397 01:42:07,125 --> 01:42:08,696 Now, you'll see... 1398 01:42:08,797 --> 01:42:11,991 in 15 minutes investment will double. 1399 01:42:18,127 --> 01:42:19,988 There's one. 1400 01:42:21,122 --> 01:42:22,789 We're in business. 1401 01:42:23,796 --> 01:42:26,129 Chai! Hot tea! 1402 01:42:26,192 --> 01:42:30,304 You see, selling tea requires a much greater investment: 1403 01:42:30,379 --> 01:42:33,822 bicycle, tea leaves, sugar, water, glasses, thermos, gas etc... 1404 01:42:33,894 --> 01:42:37,788 Whereas, here: a stone and a red mark. 1405 01:42:37,831 --> 01:42:39,260 Chai! Hot tea chai! 1406 01:42:39,713 --> 01:42:42,183 He must call his customers. 1407 01:42:42,250 --> 01:42:45,281 We have so many, that we must tell them to go. 1408 01:42:45,344 --> 01:42:46,914 Come on, be quick ! 1409 01:42:47,006 --> 01:42:49,227 Give others a chance. Move on! 1410 01:42:52,055 --> 01:42:54,706 There, you bow to the customers. 1411 01:42:54,774 --> 01:42:57,635 Here, customers bow to you. 1412 01:42:59,003 --> 01:43:00,308 See? 1413 01:43:00,378 --> 01:43:02,195 If a guy is really scared 1414 01:43:02,206 --> 01:43:04,303 he'll prostrate himself, outright. 1415 01:43:04,507 --> 01:43:07,636 That 'wrong number' fellow, is in business; 1416 01:43:07,651 --> 01:43:09,151 the fear business. 1417 01:43:09,161 --> 01:43:11,279 He figured out that scared people 1418 01:43:11,357 --> 01:43:12,927 go to the temple. 1419 01:43:13,160 --> 01:43:16,220 You're pretty scared, too. Take this off. 1420 01:43:17,422 --> 01:43:19,817 Never question religion! 1421 01:43:20,430 --> 01:43:22,076 It's about faith! 1422 01:43:22,723 --> 01:43:25,527 If God didn't want us to question, 1423 01:43:25,622 --> 01:43:29,495 He wouldn't have given us the faculty of reason. 1424 01:43:29,886 --> 01:43:33,794 Faced with questions they can't answer, zealots get violent. 1425 01:43:33,968 --> 01:43:38,121 They try to stifle us by intimidation. But, now, we won't shut up. 1426 01:43:38,203 --> 01:43:40,783 So far, PK, alone, is questioning. 1427 01:43:40,798 --> 01:43:43,358 From now on, thousands of PKs will raise questions. 1428 01:43:43,462 --> 01:43:46,315 So, friends, keep your cell phones handy. 1429 01:43:46,379 --> 01:43:49,576 If you see any "wrong numbers" in religion, 1430 01:43:49,584 --> 01:43:51,708 record it, send it to us, 1431 01:43:51,763 --> 01:43:54,024 and we'll broadcast it on our channel. 1432 01:43:54,255 --> 01:43:57,298 Raise your phones, raise your questions! 1433 01:44:06,133 --> 01:44:08,099 Baba ji. Baba ji! (Holy man) 1434 01:44:08,205 --> 01:44:09,700 One question. 1435 01:44:09,742 --> 01:44:12,224 If you can produce gold out of thin air, 1436 01:44:12,318 --> 01:44:15,305 why don't you cure the nation's poverty, Baba? 1437 01:44:15,369 --> 01:44:16,702 Please answer. 1438 01:44:17,666 --> 01:44:19,052 Baba ji, 1439 01:44:19,155 --> 01:44:21,645 if you can make your own gold, 1440 01:44:21,701 --> 01:44:25,507 why ask us for donations? Baba ji, please reply. 1441 01:44:26,200 --> 01:44:28,732 Hario, hario! (Hail the Lord) 1442 01:44:28,811 --> 01:44:31,371 It's a wrong number. Wrong number. 1443 01:44:31,406 --> 01:44:33,232 Jaggu! Come with me. 1444 01:44:34,137 --> 01:44:35,177 Come with me. 1445 01:44:35,267 --> 01:44:37,123 Just... come with me! 1446 01:44:37,661 --> 01:44:38,923 What are you doing? 1447 01:44:38,993 --> 01:44:41,790 The wole nation's calling with wrong numbers. 1448 01:44:41,813 --> 01:44:42,813 What? 1449 01:44:42,907 --> 01:44:44,282 Terrific job ! 1450 01:44:44,453 --> 01:44:45,754 Look at this. 1451 01:44:50,605 --> 01:44:53,737 He says, feed the cow, you'll find a job. 1452 01:44:53,747 --> 01:44:57,475 Will this cow pass on my C. V. from company to company? 1453 01:44:57,486 --> 01:45:01,067 or post it on monster.com? It's a wrong number! 1454 01:45:01,133 --> 01:45:02,610 There's more. 1455 01:45:02,950 --> 01:45:05,615 He said become Christan or God will send you to hell. 1456 01:45:05,763 --> 01:45:09,552 If God wanted He'd have had me born in a Christain family. 1457 01:45:09,646 --> 01:45:12,974 Why make me convert, now? Wrong number. 1458 01:45:13,296 --> 01:45:15,329 We all want to go to school. 1459 01:45:15,332 --> 01:45:19,013 Now, there's a fatwa to shoot girls who go to school. 1460 01:45:19,089 --> 01:45:23,995 Is God so narrow-minded as to be against education? 1461 01:45:24,175 --> 01:45:25,938 Wrong number! 1462 01:45:26,572 --> 01:45:29,840 Only what is written in our destiny, will happen. 1463 01:45:30,263 --> 01:45:34,735 God has made one masterplan for the entire universe. 1464 01:45:34,744 --> 01:45:36,610 You must accept that. 1465 01:45:36,694 --> 01:45:41,122 Outside, your followers are selling your holy books for 10 rupees. 1466 01:45:41,209 --> 01:45:45,900 They say, if you read Page 4, you will have a son. 1467 01:45:46,049 --> 01:45:49,660 That means, by reading a 10 rupee book, 1468 01:45:49,787 --> 01:45:53,584 you can screw up God's masterplan?! 1469 01:46:01,912 --> 01:46:06,388 PK, your show is a hit. The whole world is texting. 1470 01:46:06,717 --> 01:46:08,155 Here's another. 1471 01:46:13,034 --> 01:46:14,317 What is it? 1472 01:46:15,211 --> 01:46:19,304 Papa sent a message, he's ashamed of me. 1473 01:46:22,971 --> 01:46:24,301 You know,... 1474 01:46:24,568 --> 01:46:26,135 I was 10... 1475 01:46:26,396 --> 01:46:28,825 when I wrote my first poem. 1476 01:46:29,980 --> 01:46:31,416 To papa. 1477 01:46:32,980 --> 01:46:35,689 Everyone says I look like mother. 1478 01:46:36,127 --> 01:46:38,470 Everyone says so, its true. 1479 01:46:39,382 --> 01:46:42,281 But, I'm my daddy's girl. 1480 01:46:42,633 --> 01:46:44,963 I recited this poem on Annual Day. 1481 01:46:45,669 --> 01:46:47,590 Everyone was clapping. 1482 01:46:48,052 --> 01:46:52,279 Above the clapping, someone was whistling very loudly. 1483 01:46:53,295 --> 01:46:54,996 The applause faded, 1484 01:46:55,000 --> 01:46:57,361 but, the whistling didn't. 1485 01:46:58,433 --> 01:46:59,999 That was my papa. 1486 01:47:00,325 --> 01:47:02,435 He was so proud of me. 1487 01:47:03,949 --> 01:47:06,479 And today he texted... 1488 01:47:07,348 --> 01:47:08,943 "Ashamed of you" 1489 01:47:09,018 --> 01:47:11,458 In your father's mind, 1490 01:47:11,880 --> 01:47:14,669 this wrong number has taken over. 1491 01:47:14,812 --> 01:47:19,038 The day he clears his mind of the wrong number, 1492 01:47:19,143 --> 01:47:21,386 he'll whistle non-stop. 1493 01:47:21,395 --> 01:47:23,241 That day'll never come, PK. 1494 01:47:23,284 --> 01:47:25,885 Don't be sad. Come, get up. 1495 01:47:26,001 --> 01:47:28,577 When someone's sad, on our planet, 1496 01:47:28,580 --> 01:47:30,714 do you know what we do ? 1497 01:47:30,839 --> 01:47:32,552 - What, PK? - Come. 1498 01:47:32,589 --> 01:47:35,682 Follow me, and your battery will recharge automatically. 1499 01:47:35,692 --> 01:47:38,162 - What? - Just, copy me. 1500 01:47:43,384 --> 01:47:46,041 PK, what are we doing? 1501 01:47:51,104 --> 01:47:54,215 - Close your eyes. - How can I copy you, then? 1502 01:47:54,255 --> 01:47:55,683 Good point. 1503 01:47:55,706 --> 01:47:57,142 Keep them open. 1504 01:49:30,731 --> 01:49:33,810 ♪ Just keep staring at you 1505 01:49:33,964 --> 01:49:37,073 ♪ Just keep listening to whatever you say 1506 01:49:37,178 --> 01:49:40,246 ♪ Forgetting all my work 1507 01:49:40,403 --> 01:49:43,520 ♪ Just following you, wherever you go 1508 01:49:43,630 --> 01:49:46,533 ♪ It's such a waste of time, 1509 01:49:46,646 --> 01:49:49,596 ♪ Love is a waste of time. 1510 01:49:49,888 --> 01:49:52,802 ♪ Love is a waste of time. 1511 01:49:53,037 --> 01:49:55,887 ♪ This love is a waste of time. 1512 01:49:56,246 --> 01:49:59,433 ♪ Yet, I've decided in my mind, 1513 01:49:59,558 --> 01:50:02,660 ♪ at least once in this life 1514 01:50:02,793 --> 01:50:05,308 ♪ I should do this waste-of-time 1515 01:50:05,641 --> 01:50:08,205 ♪ I want to do this waste-of-time 1516 01:50:08,654 --> 01:50:11,725 ♪ I want to waste my time 1517 01:50:11,963 --> 01:50:14,954 ♪ I love this waste-of-time 1518 01:50:31,575 --> 01:50:36,807 ♪ Many many times, I look at my face in the mirror 1519 01:50:37,941 --> 01:50:42,441 ♪ Many many times, I fix my hair 1520 01:50:44,346 --> 01:50:49,012 ♪ I change my clothes, many times 1521 01:50:50,701 --> 01:50:55,542 ♪ I spray full bottles of perfumed scent, all over 1522 01:50:57,058 --> 01:51:03,185 ♪ I keep dressing, I keep combing I don't do anything else 1523 01:51:03,403 --> 01:51:09,224 ♪ Today, I understood brother, love is a waste-of-time 1524 01:51:09,793 --> 01:51:13,121 ♪ Yet, I've decided in my mind, 1525 01:51:13,215 --> 01:51:16,325 ♪ at least once in this life 1526 01:51:16,411 --> 01:51:19,075 ♪ to do this waste-of-time 1527 01:51:19,177 --> 01:51:22,239 ♪ should do this waste-of-time 1528 01:51:22,383 --> 01:51:25,427 ♪ - I want to waste my time - I want to waste my time 1529 01:51:25,551 --> 01:51:29,329 ♪ - I love this waste-of-time - I love this waste-of-time 1530 01:52:04,394 --> 01:52:09,347 ♪ Strange, weird things are happening in my heart 1531 01:52:10,781 --> 01:52:15,701 ♪ How can I explain, what kind of feeling this is? 1532 01:52:17,175 --> 01:52:21,690 ♪ I just sit and smile, for no reason 1533 01:52:23,620 --> 01:52:28,771 ♪ Whatever's happening? I can't understand any of it. 1534 01:52:29,936 --> 01:52:32,995 ♪ I feel like flying in the sky. 1535 01:52:33,162 --> 01:52:35,983 ♪ I feel like shouting loudly. 1536 01:52:36,340 --> 01:52:42,200 ♪ Today, I understood brother, love is a waste-of-time. 1537 01:52:42,720 --> 01:52:45,870 ♪ Yet, I've decided in my mind, 1538 01:52:45,965 --> 01:52:49,115 ♪ at least once in this life, 1539 01:52:49,220 --> 01:52:52,080 ♪ - I should do this waste-of-time - (I should do this waste-of-time) 1540 01:52:52,236 --> 01:52:55,158 ♪ - should do this waste-of-time - (should do this waste-of-time) 1541 01:52:55,268 --> 01:52:58,200 ♪ - I want to waste my time - (I want to waste my time) 1542 01:52:58,333 --> 01:53:02,235 ♪ I love this waste-of-time 1543 01:53:41,003 --> 01:53:44,446 More questions than money, in the donation box, guru. 1544 01:53:44,600 --> 01:53:49,639 Sir, your products stopped selling: pictures, books, medicine, oil, incense... 1545 01:53:50,253 --> 01:53:54,008 Facebook and twitter are full of negative comments. 1546 01:53:55,943 --> 01:53:59,268 - Only five? - Those are the positive ones. 1547 01:53:59,540 --> 01:54:02,100 The negative ones are here. 1548 01:54:02,111 --> 01:54:03,832 Do something, sir, 1549 01:54:03,850 --> 01:54:06,985 we can't lay low for long. 1550 01:54:15,004 --> 01:54:16,571 Call the media. 1551 01:54:16,838 --> 01:54:21,091 Likes to ask questions, does he? It's our turn to ask questions, now. 1552 01:54:21,162 --> 01:54:22,782 - Hey Jaggu? - Yeah. 1553 01:54:23,141 --> 01:54:24,606 What happened? 1554 01:54:24,613 --> 01:54:28,335 - Tapasvi wants to be on the show. - What? - He wants to debate PK. 1555 01:54:28,355 --> 01:54:30,083 That's awesome! PK will shine. 1556 01:54:30,090 --> 01:54:32,643 Exactly, it's gonna be one mother of a show! Prepare PK. 1557 01:54:32,746 --> 01:54:34,622 Mittu, put the promos out. 1558 01:54:40,607 --> 01:54:43,827 Don't forget to watch, "One More Question" 1559 01:54:43,837 --> 01:54:45,811 Sunday evening at 6. 1560 01:54:45,911 --> 01:54:47,707 My friend has become a star. 1561 01:54:47,903 --> 01:54:50,426 Look man, my friend's a star! 1562 01:54:50,520 --> 01:54:54,145 No. He was running around naked! 1563 01:54:54,380 --> 01:54:56,877 I made him a star. 1564 01:54:57,307 --> 01:54:59,947 That jackass is on TV. 1565 01:55:00,000 --> 01:55:01,422 And me? 1566 01:55:01,478 --> 01:55:03,607 Here in this shitty little village, 1567 01:55:03,779 --> 01:55:06,533 unknown, in a filthy bar, 1568 01:55:06,669 --> 01:55:09,597 drinking booze with an idiot like you. 1569 01:55:09,700 --> 01:55:12,400 Star? I made him a star! 1570 01:55:12,605 --> 01:55:13,932 Hmph! 1571 01:55:29,100 --> 01:55:32,356 PK, Bhairon Singh calling for you. 1572 01:55:32,404 --> 01:55:34,835 - Bhairon? - Take that line. 1573 01:55:36,413 --> 01:55:39,207 - Brother? - Hey, lewd boy! 1574 01:55:39,294 --> 01:55:41,447 So, you're a star, now! 1575 01:55:42,052 --> 01:55:43,691 Brother, where are you? 1576 01:55:43,714 --> 01:55:45,358 In Mandawa, for now, 1577 01:55:45,466 --> 01:55:48,247 but I'll join you in the city, tomorrow. 1578 01:55:48,300 --> 01:55:50,180 I have a gift for you. 1579 01:55:50,200 --> 01:55:52,813 I caught the thief who stole your thing. 1580 01:55:52,842 --> 01:55:54,531 He's right here. 1581 01:55:54,576 --> 01:55:58,466 Says he sold it for 40,000 rupees, to some guy. 1582 01:55:58,591 --> 01:56:01,124 - Ask me who. - Who? 1583 01:56:01,210 --> 01:56:03,964 Tapasvi ji! 1584 01:56:06,903 --> 01:56:08,528 And God said... my son, 1585 01:56:08,669 --> 01:56:11,896 it's a jewel from Lord Shiva's broken pellet drum. 1586 01:56:11,927 --> 01:56:13,216 Take it. 1587 01:56:14,365 --> 01:56:17,450 Take it and build a shrine to venerate it. 1588 01:56:17,552 --> 01:56:20,427 for, the mere sight of it will dispel the suffering 1589 01:56:20,568 --> 01:56:21,834 Hey! 1590 01:56:22,791 --> 01:56:24,437 Hello, what's up? 1591 01:56:25,492 --> 01:56:29,325 The thief who stole my remote has been caught. 1592 01:56:29,459 --> 01:56:30,998 What? Really? 1593 01:56:31,183 --> 01:56:32,723 Brother said... 1594 01:56:33,465 --> 01:56:34,646 the thief... 1595 01:56:34,732 --> 01:56:36,732 sold the remote to Tapasvi ji. 1596 01:56:36,801 --> 01:56:38,778 Then, it's game over for Tapasvi. 1597 01:56:39,068 --> 01:56:41,505 We'll take the thief to Tapasvi ji and tell him: 1598 01:56:41,599 --> 01:56:45,567 "You fat cheat, return the remote, or we'll show it on TV" 1599 01:56:46,200 --> 01:56:49,119 Tapasvi didn't find my remote in the Himalayas? 1600 01:56:49,388 --> 01:56:51,575 That means he's lying. 1601 01:56:52,661 --> 01:56:54,197 Which means... 1602 01:56:54,277 --> 01:56:57,219 no wrong number, no duplicate God. 1603 01:56:57,344 --> 01:56:59,724 Tapasvi ji is spreading a lie! 1604 01:57:01,879 --> 01:57:04,355 Did you know this already, Jaggu? 1605 01:57:04,568 --> 01:57:07,349 PK, remember the first time you mentined the wrong number? 1606 01:57:07,405 --> 01:57:09,646 When Tapasvi calls God,... 1607 01:57:09,732 --> 01:57:12,374 it gets directed to the wrong number! 1608 01:57:12,460 --> 01:57:15,372 I knew, then, you were not doing it right. 1609 01:57:15,506 --> 01:57:17,341 But I didn't clear up your confusion, 1610 01:57:17,427 --> 01:57:19,556 because if you'd called Tapasvi ji a fraud 1611 01:57:19,559 --> 01:57:21,241 his followers would've beaten you. 1612 01:57:21,381 --> 01:57:23,607 PK, people always want something new. 1613 01:57:23,685 --> 01:57:25,490 Hold it. Wrong number! 1614 01:57:25,546 --> 01:57:28,387 And your 'wrong number' idea really caught their attention. 1615 01:57:28,625 --> 01:57:31,231 - Now, they're all behind you. - It's a wrong number. 1616 01:57:31,275 --> 01:57:35,763 PK, my plan worked. You'll get your remote, for sure. 1617 01:57:40,589 --> 01:57:41,919 But.. 1618 01:57:42,269 --> 01:57:44,433 you'll be leaving tomorrow. 1619 01:57:46,080 --> 01:57:47,474 Gone. 1620 01:57:48,756 --> 01:57:50,835 I'll never see you again. 1621 01:57:53,154 --> 01:57:56,059 I'll really, really miss you. 1622 01:57:57,449 --> 01:57:59,801 I'll really, really miss you. 1623 01:58:02,077 --> 01:58:03,859 Shall I stay, then? 1624 01:58:06,870 --> 01:58:08,533 Don't joke. 1625 01:58:10,301 --> 01:58:11,783 I'm serious. 1626 01:58:12,383 --> 01:58:13,807 I have a job. 1627 01:58:14,122 --> 01:58:17,374 I could get a ration card and settle here. 1628 01:58:17,662 --> 01:58:21,706 I could find someone who'd waste her time with me. 1629 01:58:22,574 --> 01:58:24,558 We could get married. Why not? 1630 01:58:25,167 --> 01:58:27,337 Who would marry you? 1631 01:58:27,531 --> 01:58:28,931 Why? 1632 01:58:29,455 --> 01:58:32,099 How would she introduce you? 1633 01:58:33,339 --> 01:58:36,885 Meet my husband, PK. (the drunk) 1634 01:58:38,144 --> 01:58:39,734 That's not my name! 1635 01:58:39,859 --> 01:58:42,625 - Everyone's talking nonsense. - PK haha! 1636 01:58:42,718 --> 01:58:44,856 I'll change my name. 1637 01:58:45,474 --> 01:58:48,844 You suggest a name for me. 1638 01:58:48,917 --> 01:58:51,249 A name you like. 1639 01:58:51,808 --> 01:58:53,221 You see... 1640 01:58:53,261 --> 01:58:55,878 name and personality... 1641 01:58:56,261 --> 01:58:57,981 should match. 1642 01:58:58,334 --> 01:58:59,733 Absolutely. 1643 01:58:59,752 --> 01:59:02,472 So, how is my personality? 1644 01:59:02,550 --> 01:59:04,391 I'll give you a demo. 1645 01:59:05,045 --> 01:59:07,388 A saint once said... 1646 01:59:09,587 --> 01:59:12,569 "The differences between name and character"... 1647 01:59:12,718 --> 01:59:15,960 I'm in no mood for poetry. I mean something else. 1648 01:59:16,569 --> 01:59:21,005 "The differences between name and character. Have you ever noticed" 1649 01:59:21,068 --> 01:59:22,591 How can I explain to her. 1650 01:59:22,685 --> 01:59:26,552 "a person with a name so different from his personality." 1651 01:59:27,326 --> 01:59:30,908 "A man called Fire who is always cold 1652 01:59:31,559 --> 01:59:34,989 "A man called Peace who causes wars. 1653 01:59:35,777 --> 01:59:41,816 "A tailless man called Hanuman. 1654 01:59:42,441 --> 01:59:46,462 "Arjun, the archer, without a bow." 1655 01:59:47,011 --> 01:59:51,822 "But Phool Chand ji is so utterly fat," 1656 01:59:51,962 --> 01:59:56,283 "he broke a chair wherever he sat." 1657 01:59:56,359 --> 01:59:57,802 Very good, very good. 1658 01:59:57,881 --> 02:00:01,288 I wrote a different name on each of these cards 1659 02:00:01,772 --> 02:00:05,230 Choose the one you think suits me best. Have a look. 1660 02:00:05,419 --> 02:00:08,156 Tandlu Ram Chittey. 1661 02:00:08,730 --> 02:00:10,263 Atrocious! 1662 02:00:11,692 --> 02:00:13,527 Tuktaari Singh. 1663 02:00:13,897 --> 02:00:15,270 Sshh... pfffff! 1664 02:00:16,675 --> 02:00:18,382 Sarfaraz... 1665 02:00:22,571 --> 02:00:24,022 Sarfaraz. 1666 02:00:24,382 --> 02:00:27,950 What's wrong? Keep looking, there are more good names. 1667 02:00:31,784 --> 02:00:33,377 What's wrong, Jaggu? 1668 02:00:34,153 --> 02:00:35,540 Nothing. 1669 02:01:43,733 --> 02:01:45,626 Hey, brother! 1670 02:02:18,705 --> 02:02:20,270 [♪ radio] 1671 02:03:42,617 --> 02:03:45,927 A terrorist organization claimed responsibility for this attack. 1672 02:03:46,122 --> 02:03:49,216 They said, "this was just a small sample... 1673 02:03:49,309 --> 02:03:52,841 "of what happens to those who attack our religion. 1674 02:03:52,959 --> 02:03:56,182 "We'll protect our religion until our dying breath." 1675 02:04:17,215 --> 02:04:18,932 Where are you going, PK? 1676 02:04:20,081 --> 02:04:21,510 To the show. 1677 02:04:21,770 --> 02:04:23,994 It's not important. Leave it. 1678 02:04:25,739 --> 02:04:27,932 It's very important, now. 1679 02:04:43,038 --> 02:04:44,834 "One More Question" 1680 02:04:45,008 --> 02:04:48,478 Welcome, everyone, to what will be one "hot show", 1681 02:04:48,509 --> 02:04:51,342 - as we join PK and... - One minute. 1682 02:04:51,355 --> 02:04:53,049 Just a minute. 1683 02:04:58,042 --> 02:04:59,552 Bring it. 1684 02:05:05,501 --> 02:05:06,991 What is this? 1685 02:05:07,643 --> 02:05:09,169 God says... 1686 02:05:09,513 --> 02:05:12,490 this is a broken piece of His drum. 1687 02:05:12,615 --> 02:05:13,887 But, he says... 1688 02:05:14,333 --> 02:05:16,060 it's his property. 1689 02:05:17,040 --> 02:05:18,662 God says... 1690 02:05:19,000 --> 02:05:20,911 build temples. 1691 02:05:20,968 --> 02:05:22,397 He says... 1692 02:05:22,701 --> 02:05:24,635 forget the temples. 1693 02:05:24,644 --> 02:05:26,743 Now, who should we listen to? 1694 02:05:26,994 --> 02:05:28,490 God? 1695 02:05:28,847 --> 02:05:30,350 Or this guy?... 1696 02:05:30,467 --> 02:05:33,815 who wears a yellow helmet and distributes these pamphlets. 1697 02:05:33,898 --> 02:05:35,952 Look. Look. 1698 02:05:37,684 --> 02:05:39,167 First he said... 1699 02:05:39,651 --> 02:05:41,331 God is missing. 1700 02:05:41,426 --> 02:05:43,596 Then he said God is a fraud. 1701 02:05:43,610 --> 02:05:47,008 Tomorrow he may even say, God is dead. 1702 02:05:48,786 --> 02:05:50,875 Son, what do you want? 1703 02:05:51,204 --> 02:05:54,478 A world without God? 1704 02:05:56,505 --> 02:05:58,093 Do you have any idea... 1705 02:05:58,243 --> 02:06:00,913 about common people's suffering? 1706 02:06:01,490 --> 02:06:03,455 Some have no food... 1707 02:06:04,373 --> 02:06:06,440 no roof for a shelter... 1708 02:06:07,245 --> 02:06:09,736 no friends to talk to. 1709 02:06:10,513 --> 02:06:14,280 Do you know how many commit suicide every day? 1710 02:06:14,381 --> 02:06:17,442 They cut their veins, hang from ceiling fans... 1711 02:06:17,600 --> 02:06:18,990 Why? 1712 02:06:19,029 --> 02:06:21,763 Because they have no hope. 1713 02:06:21,955 --> 02:06:23,966 If, bowing to God... 1714 02:06:24,825 --> 02:06:27,422 anointing their foreheads with holy ash, 1715 02:06:27,425 --> 02:06:32,200 or, tying a thread on their wrist gives them hope to carry on, 1716 02:06:32,219 --> 02:06:36,403 then, who are you to take their hope away? 1717 02:06:37,610 --> 02:06:39,110 And if... 1718 02:06:39,186 --> 02:06:42,568 you really want to take God away from people, 1719 02:06:42,627 --> 02:06:46,150 then tell us what you offer in return. 1720 02:06:46,587 --> 02:06:50,057 Enough of repeating "wrong number, wrong number". 1721 02:06:51,003 --> 02:06:55,986 Tell us all today, precisely what is the "right number". 1722 02:07:04,616 --> 02:07:07,534 What you say is right, Tapasvi ji. 1723 02:07:08,528 --> 02:07:11,338 Once, I too... 1724 02:07:11,916 --> 02:07:13,799 had no food to eat, 1725 02:07:14,776 --> 02:07:16,684 no place to live. 1726 02:07:17,126 --> 02:07:18,986 I used to cry a lot... 1727 02:07:19,708 --> 02:07:22,200 because I had no friends, either. 1728 02:07:23,566 --> 02:07:26,497 At that time, I had only one support, 1729 02:07:29,197 --> 02:07:30,886 God. 1730 02:07:31,613 --> 02:07:35,800 Every day I felt, tomorrow won't be as bad as today. 1731 02:07:35,863 --> 02:07:38,001 God will do something. 1732 02:07:40,161 --> 02:07:44,432 I agree, believing in God... 1733 02:07:45,369 --> 02:07:47,436 gives us hope. 1734 02:07:48,099 --> 02:07:50,166 And in the face of suffering, 1735 02:07:50,300 --> 02:07:52,704 it gives us courage and strength. 1736 02:07:53,555 --> 02:07:56,460 But I have one question. 1737 02:07:58,978 --> 02:08:01,288 Which God to believe in? 1738 02:08:02,848 --> 02:08:05,568 You say, God is one. 1739 02:08:07,108 --> 02:08:08,793 I say, wrong,... 1740 02:08:10,119 --> 02:08:11,910 there are two gods. 1741 02:08:13,100 --> 02:08:15,099 The one, who created us... 1742 02:08:16,754 --> 02:08:18,182 and... 1743 02:08:18,275 --> 02:08:20,490 the one, you created. 1744 02:08:21,807 --> 02:08:25,224 I don't know anything about the one who created us. 1745 02:08:25,379 --> 02:08:29,510 But, the one you created is just like you... 1746 02:08:30,270 --> 02:08:32,987 small, corrupt... 1747 02:08:33,003 --> 02:08:35,099 and makes false promises. 1748 02:08:35,189 --> 02:08:37,309 He greets the rich quickly, 1749 02:08:37,317 --> 02:08:39,704 and makes the poor wait in line. 1750 02:08:39,737 --> 02:08:41,600 He's happy when praised, 1751 02:08:41,609 --> 02:08:43,993 and frightens people for nothing. 1752 02:08:44,857 --> 02:08:46,997 The right number is quite simple. 1753 02:08:48,686 --> 02:08:53,749 The God who made us all, can be trusted. 1754 02:08:54,907 --> 02:08:58,442 But the one you made, the duplicate God... 1755 02:08:59,079 --> 02:09:00,741 stay away from him! 1756 02:09:03,319 --> 02:09:07,408 You think you can insult God and I'll stay quiet? 1757 02:09:07,759 --> 02:09:11,748 Son, we know how to protect our God. 1758 02:09:12,081 --> 02:09:14,368 You will protect God?! 1759 02:09:14,409 --> 02:09:15,997 You? 1760 02:09:16,916 --> 02:09:18,713 This is such a small planet. 1761 02:09:19,001 --> 02:09:22,258 There are millions of bigger planets in the universe. 1762 02:09:22,333 --> 02:09:24,422 And you, sitting on a little planet, 1763 02:09:24,435 --> 02:09:26,975 in a little city, in a little room, 1764 02:09:27,005 --> 02:09:31,895 you talk about protecting God? The one who created all this? 1765 02:09:31,988 --> 02:09:34,165 He doesn't need your protection. 1766 02:09:35,091 --> 02:09:37,396 He can protect himself, just fine. 1767 02:09:40,266 --> 02:09:43,466 Today, somebody protected their god 1768 02:09:43,552 --> 02:09:45,754 and my friend died. 1769 02:09:46,372 --> 02:09:48,886 All I have left, is this shoe. 1770 02:09:50,646 --> 02:09:52,900 Stop protecting God, 1771 02:09:52,920 --> 02:09:56,789 or the only thing left on this planet will be shoes. 1772 02:09:56,832 --> 02:09:59,318 A Muslim sets off a bomb... 1773 02:09:59,750 --> 02:10:03,819 but, a Hindu guru has to listen to your lecture, hm? 1774 02:10:03,829 --> 02:10:05,479 ... Nice! 1775 02:10:05,690 --> 02:10:08,266 Who's Hindu, who's Muslim? 1776 02:10:08,471 --> 02:10:11,410 Where's the trademark? Show us. 1777 02:10:11,703 --> 02:10:14,776 Those are not God's, but, mankind's distinctions. 1778 02:10:15,333 --> 02:10:19,497 That's the most dangerous wrong number on this planet. 1779 02:10:19,592 --> 02:10:21,221 The most deadly. 1780 02:10:21,242 --> 02:10:24,443 People die because of it, become alien to each other. 1781 02:10:24,455 --> 02:10:27,710 The same wrong number you planted in Jaggu's brain, 1782 02:10:27,728 --> 02:10:29,739 to alienate her from Sarfaraz. 1783 02:10:29,817 --> 02:10:32,991 - What wrong number? - That Sarfaraz would deceive her. 1784 02:10:33,027 --> 02:10:35,052 That Muslims are all hypocrites. 1785 02:10:35,082 --> 02:10:38,793 So?... He did, deceive her! Where's the lie? 1786 02:10:38,866 --> 02:10:41,855 - One second. - No! What's going on, here? 1787 02:10:41,890 --> 02:10:43,183 Just wait. 1788 02:10:44,841 --> 02:10:46,778 Are you telling me... 1789 02:10:47,372 --> 02:10:50,669 that my prediction regarding Sarfaraz... 1790 02:10:50,731 --> 02:10:52,505 was wrong?! 1791 02:10:52,536 --> 02:10:55,065 - Yeah, of course. - Prove it. 1792 02:10:55,223 --> 02:10:58,013 Prove that my prediction was wrong. 1793 02:10:58,119 --> 02:10:59,999 And if you can't,... 1794 02:11:00,036 --> 02:11:02,107 prostrate yourself at my feet, 1795 02:11:02,122 --> 02:11:05,075 and beg forgiveness, for slandering me 1796 02:11:05,173 --> 02:11:06,991 in front of everyone. 1797 02:11:07,331 --> 02:11:09,317 And if I prove it? 1798 02:11:09,865 --> 02:11:11,357 PK, don't. 1799 02:11:17,212 --> 02:11:19,718 Then, it's yours, son. 1800 02:11:25,203 --> 02:11:26,994 It's a deal. 1801 02:11:27,185 --> 02:11:31,729 Could we have the camera on Jagat Janani? 1802 02:11:38,006 --> 02:11:39,448 Jagat Janani, 1803 02:11:39,472 --> 02:11:45,234 I hope you will answer all my questions truthfully. 1804 02:11:47,316 --> 02:11:52,341 In Belgium, you fell in love with a Pakistani boy. 1805 02:11:53,575 --> 02:11:55,302 True or false? 1806 02:11:55,312 --> 02:11:57,932 Why is my personal life being discussed here? 1807 02:11:57,981 --> 02:11:59,596 On that Friday, 1808 02:12:00,223 --> 02:12:04,014 at 3:21 pm, I predicted that 1809 02:12:04,275 --> 02:12:06,875 this boy will deceive you. 1810 02:12:06,896 --> 02:12:08,595 And, the next day, 1811 02:12:08,700 --> 02:12:11,396 you went to the Marriage Registrar's office. 1812 02:12:11,602 --> 02:12:13,808 But, this boy didn't come. 1813 02:12:14,016 --> 02:12:16,509 True... or false? 1814 02:12:16,550 --> 02:12:19,823 Yes, he didn't come. Can you please stop this? 1815 02:12:21,013 --> 02:12:22,649 Now... 1816 02:12:23,075 --> 02:12:25,285 shall you come to my feet, 1817 02:12:25,349 --> 02:12:27,521 or shall I bring my feet to you? 1818 02:12:27,550 --> 02:12:29,455 Sarfaraz did not deceive. 1819 02:12:29,479 --> 02:12:31,496 PK, let it go, please! 1820 02:12:31,646 --> 02:12:34,648 No, tell everyone exactly what happened that day. 1821 02:12:34,810 --> 02:12:37,472 - PK, please! - Just once. 1822 02:12:37,996 --> 02:12:39,839 For my sake. 1823 02:12:45,104 --> 02:12:49,806 I was in the Marriage Registrar's office and a letter arrived. 1824 02:12:49,944 --> 02:12:52,353 Did Sarfaraz deliver it? 1825 02:12:54,071 --> 02:12:55,449 No, 1826 02:12:56,796 --> 02:12:58,341 a little boy did. 1827 02:12:58,440 --> 02:13:00,207 Was it signed? 1828 02:13:00,598 --> 02:13:01,708 Noooo! 1829 02:13:01,780 --> 02:13:05,342 How do you know it was Sarfarz's letter? 1830 02:13:08,529 --> 02:13:11,607 It could have been for another girl. 1831 02:13:15,141 --> 02:13:17,715 Wasn't there another girl in the place? 1832 02:13:17,739 --> 02:13:20,475 A girl with a cat. 1833 02:13:22,054 --> 02:13:25,357 Didn't she ask you to hold her cat? 1834 02:13:26,826 --> 02:13:31,540 The boy with letter, did he know you? - No. 1835 02:13:31,601 --> 02:13:34,978 - Did you know him? - No. 1836 02:13:35,072 --> 02:13:39,086 How would either of you know the letter was meant for you? 1837 02:13:39,891 --> 02:13:41,956 Perhaps he was told... 1838 02:13:42,477 --> 02:13:44,437 to deliver the letter... 1839 02:13:44,719 --> 02:13:46,999 to a lady with a cat. 1840 02:13:48,680 --> 02:13:50,325 He gave you the letter... 1841 02:13:50,504 --> 02:13:52,141 you read it... 1842 02:13:52,333 --> 02:13:55,033 but, you didn't even call Sarfaraz, after. 1843 02:13:55,960 --> 02:13:57,865 Did you call Sarfaraz? 1844 02:13:58,976 --> 02:14:03,224 Because, Tapasvi ji planted a wrong number in your brain, 1845 02:14:03,367 --> 02:14:05,771 that Muslims are dishonest. 1846 02:14:06,263 --> 02:14:08,625 Sarfaraz didn't deceive you, Jaggu. 1847 02:14:08,761 --> 02:14:12,255 What's going on here? A cat, a dog, whatever!... 1848 02:14:12,368 --> 02:14:16,060 You're making up stories and expect us to swallow it, huh? 1849 02:14:16,116 --> 02:14:18,997 One moment. We'll get the truth, right now. 1850 02:14:19,060 --> 02:14:21,226 Jaggu, get your phone, call Sarfaraz. 1851 02:14:21,498 --> 02:14:23,755 Come on, Jaggu, hurry! 1852 02:14:25,737 --> 02:14:27,872 Dit nummer is niet in gebruik (not in use) 1853 02:14:27,958 --> 02:14:30,068 This number does not exist. 1854 02:14:30,161 --> 02:14:33,552 Another number; friend, college, something?... 1855 02:14:33,580 --> 02:14:34,999 Come on Jaggu! 1856 02:14:35,025 --> 02:14:36,950 - Belgium University. - Dial. 1857 02:14:41,361 --> 02:14:42,862 - Hello. - Hello. 1858 02:14:43,807 --> 02:14:47,448 I actually need to get in touch with one of your grad students 1859 02:14:47,520 --> 02:14:49,200 Sarfarz, Yusuf? 1860 02:14:49,232 --> 02:14:51,756 Oh, yeah, he left for Pakistan last year. 1861 02:14:51,800 --> 02:14:52,887 (Conact?) 1862 02:14:52,900 --> 02:14:54,768 - Has he left a number? - I'm sorry, 1863 02:14:54,771 --> 02:14:56,929 we're not authorized to give out information. 1864 02:14:57,021 --> 02:14:58,762 Ma'am, this is really important. 1865 02:14:58,831 --> 02:15:01,862 E-mail us your request and I can forward it to Student Affairs. 1866 02:15:01,900 --> 02:15:03,409 Have a nice day, dear. 1867 02:15:03,487 --> 02:15:05,256 Pakistan home number? 1868 02:15:05,369 --> 02:15:07,750 - No. - Think, Jaggu, think. 1869 02:15:09,263 --> 02:15:12,341 I have a part-time job at the Pakistani Embassy. 1870 02:15:12,387 --> 02:15:15,730 The Pakistani Embassy. He had a part-time job, there. 1871 02:15:15,755 --> 02:15:18,549 Mittu, call the Pakistan Embassy, Belgium. 1872 02:15:18,569 --> 02:15:20,927 - Copy, Sir. - And put it on speaker. 1873 02:15:23,776 --> 02:15:26,105 Assalamu alaikum, Pakistan Embassy. 1874 02:15:26,381 --> 02:15:27,981 Hello..umm 1875 02:15:29,077 --> 02:15:32,400 did you have a student from Lahore working there? 1876 02:15:32,485 --> 02:15:34,104 Sarfaraz Yusuf? 1877 02:15:34,142 --> 02:15:35,908 Is your name Jaggu? 1878 02:15:39,302 --> 02:15:41,302 Hello, is your name Jaggu? 1879 02:15:42,166 --> 02:15:44,043 Yes, how do you know? 1880 02:15:44,167 --> 02:15:45,999 The call, finally, came! 1881 02:15:46,027 --> 02:15:47,923 The Delhi girl phoned. 1882 02:15:47,956 --> 02:15:52,724 Farah, Jaggu phoned, come quick! Mr. Syed, hurry, Jaggu's call came! 1883 02:15:52,794 --> 02:15:56,615 We got a call from India, come, everyone! 1884 02:15:58,679 --> 02:16:00,200 Miss,... 1885 02:16:00,318 --> 02:16:04,929 Sarfaraz Yusuf phones every morning at 9, from Lahore. 1886 02:16:05,612 --> 02:16:09,583 And politely asks, always the same question. 1887 02:16:10,029 --> 02:16:13,638 Did someone named Jaggu, call from India? 1888 02:16:15,099 --> 02:16:18,068 We say no, and he hangs up. 1889 02:16:18,281 --> 02:16:20,427 Drove us all mad. 1890 02:16:20,651 --> 02:16:23,451 Hold on, I'll connect you. 1891 02:16:28,272 --> 02:16:29,670 [ringing] 1892 02:16:38,557 --> 02:16:39,939 Hello. 1893 02:16:40,529 --> 02:16:43,985 - Mr. Sarfaraz Yusuf? - Yes, Assalamu alaikum. 1894 02:16:44,077 --> 02:16:45,999 Where are you speaking from? 1895 02:16:46,030 --> 02:16:48,128 Um, from Lahore, why? 1896 02:16:48,494 --> 02:16:50,263 Where are you right now? 1897 02:16:50,682 --> 02:16:53,281 I'm at my home, why? 1898 02:16:53,978 --> 02:16:57,331 Do you have a chair or a bench, handy? 1899 02:16:58,070 --> 02:17:00,083 If you do, please sit down, 1900 02:17:00,174 --> 02:17:03,027 because you may fall from the shock. 1901 02:17:03,278 --> 02:17:06,115 Uh, sorry, I didn't get that. 1902 02:17:07,411 --> 02:17:09,849 You have a phone call from Delhi. 1903 02:17:15,750 --> 02:17:17,950 Go ahead, talk to her. 1904 02:17:20,333 --> 02:17:21,638 Hello. 1905 02:17:21,718 --> 02:17:23,307 Sarfaraz... 1906 02:17:27,780 --> 02:17:29,252 Jaggu... 1907 02:17:31,361 --> 02:17:32,634 Hello? 1908 02:17:34,454 --> 02:17:36,782 Jaggu, are you ok? Hello? 1909 02:17:39,063 --> 02:17:41,700 Did you come to the Marriage Registrar office? 1910 02:17:41,774 --> 02:17:43,197 Yes, I did. 1911 02:17:43,458 --> 02:17:45,534 But you'd left. 1912 02:17:46,200 --> 02:17:48,232 Why didn't you, ever, call? 1913 02:17:48,333 --> 02:17:50,900 How could I? I read your letter. 1914 02:17:50,990 --> 02:17:54,266 It said, "Don't try to contact me" 1915 02:17:54,365 --> 02:17:57,207 I knew you had a lot of family pressure. 1916 02:17:57,247 --> 02:18:00,230 I don't know why, but I always felt 1917 02:18:00,386 --> 02:18:03,543 you'd try to contact me, someday. 1918 02:18:05,956 --> 02:18:08,768 Took you a long enough, hey, Jaggu? 1919 02:18:10,193 --> 02:18:11,786 What could I do? 1920 02:18:12,610 --> 02:18:15,919 I had your number, all wrong. 1921 02:18:21,974 --> 02:18:25,443 A friend just gave me your right number. 1922 02:18:51,967 --> 02:18:53,625 Thank you, son. 1923 02:19:28,286 --> 02:19:30,224 Hold this, a sec. 1924 02:19:54,427 --> 02:19:59,232 - PK, you're taking batteries? - You can't get them, there. 1925 02:19:59,371 --> 02:20:02,735 What are you going to do with so many? 1926 02:20:02,982 --> 02:20:07,009 I'll listen to these recordings I made. 1927 02:20:07,175 --> 02:20:08,536 What kind of recordings? 1928 02:20:08,755 --> 02:20:13,269 Sounds of this planet, birds, crows, traffic. 1929 02:20:13,380 --> 02:20:15,620 You're gonna listen to traffic noise? 1930 02:20:16,733 --> 02:20:19,200 Whenever I start to miss this planet 1931 02:20:19,302 --> 02:20:21,464 I'll listen to these sounds. 1932 02:20:23,105 --> 02:20:24,294 Hey wait! 1933 02:20:24,724 --> 02:20:26,708 I have one more trunk. 1934 02:20:26,873 --> 02:20:28,185 PK, let it go.! 1935 02:20:28,446 --> 02:20:30,193 What do you mean, let it go? 1936 02:20:30,279 --> 02:20:32,437 I need those other batteries. 1937 02:20:32,789 --> 02:20:34,083 Do you hear me? 1938 02:20:37,833 --> 02:20:39,588 Driver, do you hear? 1939 02:20:54,852 --> 02:20:58,443 ...does everyone on your planet have big ears, like you? 1940 02:20:59,900 --> 02:21:02,876 And they all walk around naked? 1941 02:21:04,509 --> 02:21:08,161 What are you looking at? Is there dirt on my face? 1942 02:21:11,643 --> 02:21:18,006 You know I was 10 when I wrote my first poem... 1943 02:21:18,571 --> 02:21:19,571 To papa. 1944 02:21:21,617 --> 02:21:27,123 Everyone says I look like mother Everyone says so, its true 1945 02:21:34,297 --> 02:21:36,075 Poetry means 1946 02:21:36,896 --> 02:21:39,433 saying something big, with few words. 1947 02:21:40,702 --> 02:21:42,851 By the way you're really cute. 1948 02:21:44,411 --> 02:21:48,177 One more toast for a friend, who... 1949 02:21:48,818 --> 02:21:52,264 [Jaggu] ♪ I know, I'm poor in money... 1950 02:21:53,798 --> 02:21:57,797 There was no sound of birds, crows or traffic.. 1951 02:21:58,680 --> 02:22:01,469 Every tape had only my voice. 1952 02:22:16,001 --> 02:22:17,643 I got it. 1953 02:22:22,853 --> 02:22:25,095 He sure made me run a lot! 1954 02:22:28,647 --> 02:22:31,958 PK, what did you record in the tapes? 1955 02:22:33,110 --> 02:22:36,336 I told you, birds, crows, traffic. 1956 02:22:47,762 --> 02:22:52,635 Whenever I miss earth, I'll play these tapes. 1957 02:22:53,644 --> 02:22:56,513 I'll wave to you, from up there. 1958 02:22:56,686 --> 02:22:58,842 Like this, fast. 1959 02:23:01,357 --> 02:23:03,654 Please wave back to me... 1960 02:23:04,444 --> 02:23:06,098 whenever you have time. 1961 02:23:07,248 --> 02:23:10,132 Are there no tapes of my voice? 1962 02:23:10,529 --> 02:23:12,088 Your voice... 1963 02:23:13,400 --> 02:23:15,090 Yes, it's there. 1964 02:23:15,100 --> 02:23:18,140 That poem you recited. 1965 02:23:18,611 --> 02:23:21,294 Only poetry? 1966 02:23:24,408 --> 02:23:25,800 What?... 1967 02:23:25,808 --> 02:23:30,932 Am I in love with you, that I'd waste all my tapes on you? 1968 02:23:49,599 --> 02:23:51,962 He didn't look back, once. 1969 02:23:52,994 --> 02:23:55,266 Perhaps he was hiding his tears. 1970 02:23:56,197 --> 02:24:00,146 He learned something and taught something. 1971 02:24:01,453 --> 02:24:03,543 He learned to lie. 1972 02:24:04,530 --> 02:24:08,630 And taught us the true meaning of love. 1973 02:24:09,486 --> 02:24:12,224 He loved me enough, to let me go. 1974 02:24:13,139 --> 02:24:15,341 He also arrived naked, 1975 02:24:15,435 --> 02:24:18,023 like a newborn child. 1976 02:24:19,712 --> 02:24:25,594 Also, like a child, he asked a million questions. 1977 02:24:27,645 --> 02:24:29,067 Then, one day... 1978 02:24:32,113 --> 02:24:33,803 he went away. 1979 02:24:36,004 --> 02:24:39,398 About 4,000 million kilometers away. 1980 02:24:41,932 --> 02:24:45,025 But he left me two beautiful gifts. 1981 02:24:47,876 --> 02:24:49,644 Sarfaraz... 1982 02:24:51,002 --> 02:24:52,745 and papa. 1983 02:24:56,191 --> 02:25:00,499 I'll gaze at his star, as long as I live... 1984 02:25:01,407 --> 02:25:03,291 and wave. 1985 02:25:05,334 --> 02:25:08,294 I'm sure he'll do the same. 1986 02:25:13,003 --> 02:25:14,611 I miss him. 1987 02:25:54,706 --> 02:25:58,728 Brothers, in an hour we'll be landing on earth. 1988 02:25:59,002 --> 02:26:03,247 Don't forget the four major points I taught you. 1989 02:26:03,403 --> 02:26:06,482 1: It's forbidden to walk naked, on Earth. 1990 02:26:06,621 --> 02:26:09,142 All kissing, smooching and getting naked 1991 02:26:09,221 --> 02:26:12,101 is done behind closed doors, out of sight. 1992 02:26:12,166 --> 02:26:16,200 Any fighting, cursing, war etc., is done in the open. 1993 02:26:16,417 --> 02:26:19,829 2: The most confusing thing is language. 1994 02:26:20,090 --> 02:26:22,471 If you hear someone, at the market, saying, 1995 02:26:22,474 --> 02:26:24,369 "I love chicken, I love fish", 1996 02:26:24,378 --> 02:26:27,396 it doesn't mean they're animal-lovers. 1997 02:26:27,654 --> 02:26:32,497 It means, today, for lunch they'll eat chicken or fish. 1998 02:26:32,603 --> 02:26:34,263 There is a huge difference 1999 02:26:34,266 --> 02:26:37,915 between what people think and say; this will be the focus of our research. 2000 02:26:38,052 --> 02:26:41,731 3: As soon as we land, we'll steal clothes from a dancing car. 2001 02:26:41,794 --> 02:26:44,889 Everyone, put your remote control in your underwear. 2002 02:26:45,000 --> 02:26:49,120 Really, really deep, where no one can steal it! 2003 02:26:49,278 --> 02:26:52,431 And 4: the most important point! 2004 02:26:52,510 --> 02:26:56,286 If you meet someone who says he can connect you to God, 2005 02:26:56,311 --> 02:26:58,941 then, to hell with research. 2006 02:26:58,962 --> 02:27:02,642 Make a U-turn and hurry at full speed, back home! 2007 02:27:13,991 --> 02:27:16,678 Come bro, don't be scared. Come. 2008 02:27:22,145 --> 02:27:24,521 What are you staring at, eh? 2009 02:27:25,661 --> 02:27:27,255 I have a question. 2010 02:27:27,506 --> 02:27:28,930 What? 2011 02:27:29,224 --> 02:27:34,189 Last time, how often were you slapped around? 2012 02:27:41,637 --> 02:27:44,608 - What's that for? - Self defense. 2013 02:27:45,156 --> 02:27:46,644 Aha, safety? 2014 02:27:47,358 --> 02:27:48,717 - Let's go - Let's go. 2015 02:27:48,724 --> 02:27:52,228 Hey, where you goin'? This way. 2016 02:27:53,372 --> 02:27:58,958 ♪Subtitles: Arpan Bhatia, MohdAsriDungun, Gunjan♪ XQ2 138167

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