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[***]
2
00:00:06,439 --> 00:00:08,509
Chris, how many times
do I have to tell you
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to quit leaving this damn
yo-yo on the floor?
4
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:12,654
What are you trying to do,
kill me?
5
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:14,179
I forgot where I left it.
6
00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:16,084
Well, will you remember
when I fall
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00:00:16,116 --> 00:00:17,676
down the steps
and break my neck?
8
00:00:17,717 --> 00:00:20,317
NARRATOR:
Sometimes it felt likeall my mother did
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00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:22,163
was yell at everybody.
[DOOR SLAMS]
10
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Tonya, close the door!
11
00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:25,693
You trying to freeze
the whole house?
12
00:00:25,725 --> 00:00:27,325
Drew, turn that mess down!
13
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,800
You trying to make everybody
in the house go deaf?
14
00:00:29,829 --> 00:00:32,569
And get your feet
off my table.
15
00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:33,699
Julius!
16
00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:35,273
Pick up your drawers!
17
00:00:35,301 --> 00:00:37,301
Do I have to do everything
around here?
18
00:00:37,337 --> 00:00:41,267
NARRATOR:
And when I say my mother yelledat everybody, I mean everybody.
19
00:00:41,307 --> 00:00:43,277
Rochelle, what did I tell me?
20
00:00:43,309 --> 00:00:45,179
Are you trying
to drive me crazy?
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00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:46,581
NARRATOR:
But there was one person
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00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:48,753
who always put my motherin a good mood.
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00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:50,652
Daddy!
24
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:53,524
NARRATOR:
My mother loved her daddy,and we did too.
25
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:54,623
Oh, where's Mama?
26
00:00:54,654 --> 00:00:56,394
Oh, I left her at
the hair dresser.
27
00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:58,163
Where are them
grandkids of mine?
28
00:00:58,191 --> 00:00:59,791
Where they at? Hey!
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00:00:59,826 --> 00:01:02,596
NARRATOR:
My grandfather wasa great storyteller.
30
00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:04,329
And he didn't think
I was playing
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00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:07,204
when I smacked him
in the head with that brick.
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00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:08,473
Until this day,
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00:01:08,501 --> 00:01:10,871
when I go in there,
my food is free.
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00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,414
[ALL LAUGH]
35
00:01:12,439 --> 00:01:14,169
Oh, man, do you have
any more good jokes?
36
00:01:14,207 --> 00:01:15,477
Do I got any more
good jokes?
37
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Come on, now! Knock, knock.
38
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Who's there?
Pass me them pork chops.
39
00:01:19,846 --> 00:01:21,346
Pass me them pork chops who?
40
00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:23,281
No, pass me them pork chops
right there.
41
00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:25,486
[ALL LAUGH]
He got you!
42
00:01:26,886 --> 00:01:28,456
I ain't playing with you.
43
00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:30,358
What's the rest
of the joke, Grandpa?
44
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Ooh! Okay, knock, knock.
45
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Who's there?
46
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Oh, Lordy.
47
00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:38,595
Oh, Lordy who?
[ALL LAUGHING]
48
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I'm dying.
49
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:41,904
I'm dying who?
50
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I'm...having a heart...
51
00:01:46,806 --> 00:01:48,206
You're having a heart who?
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00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:50,941
Daddy?
[ALL LAUGHING]
53
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ROCHELLE
Daddy.
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Daddy?
55
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,778
NARRATOR:
I never did find outwho was there.
56
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[***]
57
00:02:05,558 --> 00:02:08,728
* Aw, make it funky now
58
00:02:32,752 --> 00:02:35,522
NARRATOR:
My grandfather passing awaywas the first time
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00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:37,815
I had to deal witha death in the family.
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00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:39,427
I didn't know how to react,
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00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:41,259
and I guessmy mother didn't, either,
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because insteadof doing this...
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Damn. Damn. Damn!
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00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,429
[CRYING]
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NARRATOR:
...she did this...
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00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:50,602
Good morning, everybody.
67
00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:52,837
NARRATOR:
I hadn't seen my motherthat happy
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00:02:52,872 --> 00:02:54,412
since Lionel Richie went solo.
69
00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:56,411
I can't believe Gene is gone.
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00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,553
I can't believe
he never finished that joke.
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00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:00,478
I'm never eating
pork chops again.
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00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:02,583
I can't believe he died
sitting right here.
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00:03:02,615 --> 00:03:05,415
Everybody has to die someplace.
74
00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:06,922
Now eat your eggs.
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00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:08,493
TONYA:
I hate eggs.
76
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:10,291
Can I have some toast?
77
00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:12,563
Sure, Tonya. No problem.
78
00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:15,362
Hey, Mom, uh, do I have
to go to school today?
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00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:16,825
NARRATOR:
Usually, the only death
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00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:19,303
that could keep usout of school was our own.
81
00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:21,332
Not if you don't want to.
Cool.
82
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,838
Chris, do you want to stay home
from school today?
83
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,510
No, I have a quiz.
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00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:27,338
Oh.
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00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,444
Can I stay home too?
Sure.
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00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:31,336
NARRATOR:
I didn't know what was wrong
87
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,848
with my mother,but at that moment,
88
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:35,279
all I could think ofdoing was this...
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00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:38,623
Snap out of it, woman!
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00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:44,723
Well, everybody
have a nice day.
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00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,628
[HUMMING]
92
00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,826
That was weird.
93
00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:53,995
Man, your grandfather died?
94
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:55,304
That's rough.
95
00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:57,065
I had a parakeet
that died once.
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00:03:57,103 --> 00:03:58,413
I cried for three weeks.
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00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,808
My mom is acting
really strange.
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00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,080
You mean strange like...
99
00:04:02,108 --> 00:04:04,608
There's a TV in my head!
100
00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:05,954
Oh! Ow!
101
00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:08,479
Please, just make it stop!
102
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:11,945
NARRATOR:
Even the crackheadswould be scared of that.
103
00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:14,085
No.
104
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,690
She's just really nice.
105
00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:19,933
[BELL RINGS]
106
00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:22,359
So were you guys close?
Yeah.
107
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:25,595
Chris, why don't you stand up
and tell the rest of the class
108
00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:28,442
what you're discussing
with Gregory.
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00:04:29,536 --> 00:04:31,936
My grandfather died.
Chris, that's not funny.
110
00:04:31,971 --> 00:04:34,511
What are you gonna do when
your grandfather dies for real?
111
00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:36,481
Just because
you didn't study for a test
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00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:38,709
doesn't mean you can go
killing off your family.
113
00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:40,705
Who's next?
Your father, your mother?
114
00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:43,077
Why don't you kill your sister
or your brother?
115
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,846
He's telling the truth.
116
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[***]
117
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Oh.
118
00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:49,955
Oh, Chris...
119
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Wait...you believe him?
120
00:04:52,692 --> 00:04:54,532
Of course.
And not me?
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00:04:54,561 --> 00:04:56,701
Well, Chris,
your grandfather died.
122
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,530
You might
say anything.
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00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,765
What are you even doing here?
Bring me your paper.
124
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,800
Don't worry
about the test.
125
00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:05,744
You're excused.
126
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,810
NARRATOR:
In honor of my grandfather,
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00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,882
I should have hit herwith a brick.
128
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:15,415
Hi, Mama.
You look good.
129
00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:17,818
NARRATOR:
And that's my grandmother,Maxine.
130
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:21,451
She was the only womanwho could out-snob my mother.
131
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,558
Your hair smells funny.
132
00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:25,790
Are you still using
that cheap perm?
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00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:28,085
Dark and Lovely, hmm?
134
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,158
Look at mine.
It's beautiful.
135
00:05:30,196 --> 00:05:32,126
It's beautiful, isn't it?
136
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:35,035
Good to see you too, Mama.
137
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:38,408
NARRATOR:
That's my Aunt Charlotte,but we called her Grievey,
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00:05:38,438 --> 00:05:40,008
because we only saw herat funerals.
139
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,840
No birthdays, no weddings.Just funerals.
140
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:45,746
Girl, I haven't seen you
since Cheryl's funeral.
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00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:47,709
[SOBBING]
142
00:05:47,747 --> 00:05:49,647
I know, I know, I know...
143
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,553
Grievey, stop crying.
Come on.
144
00:05:51,584 --> 00:05:53,124
Okay, okay, let me go.
145
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:54,123
Grievey!
146
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:55,564
Come on, come on.
147
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,490
Come on.
148
00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,985
NARRATOR:
That's Aunt Mousey.
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00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:02,556
We called her thatbecause she talked like a mouse
150
00:06:02,595 --> 00:06:04,795
and she only spokewhen spoken directly to.
151
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,971
Hi, Aunt Mousey.
152
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,030
How you doing?
153
00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:09,998
Fine.
Huh?
154
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:13,466
NARRATOR:
My Uncle Michael was almost 40and never had a job.
155
00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:15,136
He put the "um" in "bum."
156
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:17,205
Hey, sis, how you doing?
157
00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:19,483
Good.
Y'all got something to eat?
158
00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:21,012
Yeah, we just--
159
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:23,217
NARRATOR:
I think he saw a jobchasing him.
160
00:06:23,249 --> 00:06:24,679
Hey, Shaft.
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00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,689
That's too bad
about your grandpa.
162
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:28,821
Sorry.
163
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,055
Really?
164
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:31,660
Yeah. I mean...
165
00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:33,961
who's going to teach you
how to tap dance now?
166
00:06:33,993 --> 00:06:38,603
NARRATOR:
Later that day, he beat upa Chinese kid in my honor.
167
00:06:38,631 --> 00:06:39,801
Oh, here you are.
168
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,873
Hey, everybody.
Hey, everybody.
169
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,241
Good to see you.
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00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:44,799
I'm going
to, uh, take
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00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:47,138
Michael and Charlotte
upstairs to get situated.
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00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:49,013
Are you okay, Mousey?
Fine.
173
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:50,682
Okay.
174
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:53,550
Um, come on,
upstairs, follow me.
175
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,780
Julius, shouldn't you
be at work already?
176
00:06:55,815 --> 00:06:57,215
Hey, you know,
I'm on my way.
177
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,650
Oh.
178
00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:00,215
I just came by to say hi
real quick.
179
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:01,553
How are you?
180
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:02,918
Well as can be expected.
181
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:05,656
You know, Gene and I
were married for 40 years.
182
00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:07,932
I hope Rochelle and me
make it that far.
183
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,561
The way she
keeps this house,
184
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,226
I'm surprised you
haven't left already.
185
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,974
NARRATOR:
My grandmotheralways criticized everything
186
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,500
my mother did.
Mama, you like my coat?
187
00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:17,636
It's all leather.
188
00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:20,571
Oh...feels rubbery.
189
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,937
Feel mine.
190
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:25,506
Italian leather.
191
00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:27,805
NARRATOR:
At home, even thoughmy mother seemed
192
00:07:27,847 --> 00:07:30,847
to be keeping it together,the house was falling apart.
193
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,924
Rochelle, can you
change the channel?
194
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:35,792
Sure, no problem.
195
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:39,132
NARRATOR:
They were treating herlike she was me!
196
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:41,859
Rochelle, you going to help me
pick out this casket,
197
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,595
or do I have to do it
by myself?
198
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,530
Sure, Mama,
I'll help you in a minute.
199
00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:47,525
Oh, Chellie,
get me a glass of iced tea.
200
00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:48,667
Sure, Mama.
201
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,266
[SNIFFLING]
202
00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:57,284
Tea for Mom...turtles.
203
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:00,579
[OBJECT THUDS]
204
00:08:00,613 --> 00:08:02,683
Damn it!
What?
205
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:05,846
NARRATOR:
You ever had the feelingyou're about to get smacked
206
00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:07,615
upside the head with a yo-yo?
207
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,564
Here, baby.
Be more careful.
208
00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:11,259
You're not mad?
209
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:13,731
No. Why would I be mad?
210
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:16,304
Here, Mama.
211
00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:21,302
Ooh!
212
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,074
This tea tastes funny.
213
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:24,643
What kind is it?
214
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:25,741
I think it's Lipton.
215
00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:28,272
Mm-mm, tastes like Nestea.
216
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,108
It's Lipton.
217
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:31,583
[***]
218
00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:32,711
Ick.
219
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,017
Hey.
220
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:37,679
Hey.
221
00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:39,017
Want a turtle?
222
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:41,022
NARRATOR:
My mother offering me a turtle?
223
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:43,794
In her world,that's a cry for help.
224
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:45,934
Mm, no thanks.
225
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,629
Mm.
226
00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:50,030
You okay, Ma?
227
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,663
I'm fine.
228
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,898
You sure you don't want
a turtle?
229
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:57,302
[***]
230
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,067
Mmm...
231
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:00,665
What was that for?
232
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,637
I just wanted to let you know
that I love you.
233
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:05,106
NARRATOR:
Since my fatherwas working extra hours
234
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:07,005
and my motherwasn't being herself,
235
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:10,817
I decided to pick up the slackthe best way I knew how.
236
00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:13,621
Tonya, you go
make up your bed.
237
00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:14,923
Drew, you clean up in here.
238
00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:17,624
Sitting in here
playing cards...
239
00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:20,657
NARRATOR:
This was gonna be harderthan I thought.
240
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,064
[***]
241
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,325
Turn that mess down!
242
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:25,803
You trying to make everyone
in the house deaf?
243
00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:28,642
Take your feet
off the table.
244
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,913
Rochelle, tomorrow,
we're going
245
00:09:31,938 --> 00:09:34,208
to the funeral home
to pick out a casket.
246
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,810
Please dress presentably.
247
00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:37,942
I don't want him to think
that we can't afford
248
00:09:37,977 --> 00:09:39,347
a decent casket.
Sure, Mama.
249
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,249
You okay, baby?
You need to sit down?
250
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,051
Oh, no, I'm fine.
251
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,323
NARRATOR:
As bad as she felt,I didn't know
252
00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:45,951
it was about to get worse.
253
00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:47,415
Mm!
254
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:48,964
Rochelle, can't you make
255
00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:50,888
a decent glass
of iced tea?
256
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,434
Well, can't you
leave her alone?
257
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:53,929
It's iced tea!
258
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,100
If you're thirsty,
well, then you drink it!
259
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:57,659
If you're not, don't!
260
00:09:57,697 --> 00:09:59,867
NARRATOR:
I might be joiningmy grandfather
261
00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:02,069
sooner than I thought.
Are you gonna sit there
262
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,972
and let that boy
talk to me like that?
263
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,814
Boy, don't you know
I'll knock you
264
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,239
into another family?
265
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,713
Who are you?
266
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,383
You don't want to know.
267
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:16,051
* Everybody hates Chris
268
00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:24,392
Hey, man.
269
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:25,964
Hey.
270
00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:27,232
Chris...
271
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:30,730
you know you're going to have to
apologize to your grandmother.
272
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:33,004
How come? She's the one
who's been mean to Mom.
273
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:36,043
She's hurting, Chris,
and your mother is too.
274
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,139
I know you're trying
to protect your mother,
275
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:41,441
but trust me, you do not want
to get between the two of them.
276
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,484
You ain't gonna win that one.
277
00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:45,080
I'm already going
to one funeral.
278
00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:46,811
I ain't trying to go
to another.
279
00:10:46,846 --> 00:10:48,876
Well, then what do I do?
280
00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:51,845
Do what I do: nothing.
281
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:53,145
Things will work out.
282
00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:54,746
All right?
283
00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:56,918
Apologize.
284
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,063
NARRATOR:
You can't really believe
285
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:04,195
you're getting marrieduntil you buy that tux.
286
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:06,330
And you can't really believesomebody is dead
287
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:08,396
until you've got to buy thema casket.
288
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:11,735
Now, we have several models.
289
00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:14,111
This one right over here,
290
00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:15,780
top of the line.
291
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:17,739
Made of mahogany, huh?
292
00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:20,277
Has silk lining
293
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,883
over goose-down bedding...
294
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,746
and a night light.
295
00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:27,754
NARRATOR:
I guess that's in casethe dead want to read.
296
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:29,487
Well, Mama, what
about the blue one?
297
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:30,962
Oh, the blue one is nice.
298
00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:32,890
I don't like it.
She don't like that one.
299
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,456
It's a coffin,
not an Oldsmobile.
300
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:36,334
I like that one.
301
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,433
Good taste.
302
00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:39,004
Uh, Maxine,
303
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:41,002
that costs
a lot of money.
304
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,444
Now, we got payment plans.
305
00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:45,109
Well, can we put it
in my father-in-law's name?
306
00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:47,268
Well...no.
307
00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:48,437
I didn't think so.
308
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:49,805
Okay, Mama,
309
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,543
whatever you want.
Oh, okay.
310
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:53,108
Um, Rochelle,
311
00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:54,846
even if we split
this five ways,
312
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,081
that's still
a lot of money.
313
00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:57,846
Who's talking
about splitting it?
314
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,054
Well, I just assumed
we'd all chip in.
315
00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:01,816
I mean, it is your husband.
316
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:03,815
Julius, I want to help out.
317
00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:05,987
What's this?
It's a baseball card.
318
00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:08,226
Al Oliver.
He played in Pittsburgh.
319
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:10,161
Lifetime 330 hitter.
320
00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:13,326
That card is going to be worth
thousands of dollars someday.
321
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:14,526
How much is
it worth now?
322
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,897
About a dollar.
323
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:18,937
I got $40 saved up.
324
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:20,412
What about you,
Aunt Mousey?
325
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,240
I have some quarters.
326
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:24,835
NARRATOR:
Too bad he won't be playingAsteroids.
327
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:26,478
Mama, I just don't think
328
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,553
that we can afford
this right now.
329
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,081
Why not?
330
00:12:30,116 --> 00:12:32,086
Baby, you always bragging
331
00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:34,418
about how your husband
has two jobs.
332
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:36,364
I do not.
333
00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:38,929
I do not need this.
My man has two jobs.
334
00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:40,158
My husband has two jobs.
335
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:41,903
I don't need
to be here right now.
336
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,828
I do not need this!
My man has two jobs, okay?
337
00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:48,544
My husband deserves
to be buried with dignity.
338
00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:50,938
Now, who are you
to deny me that?
339
00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:53,270
Mama, we're not
trying to deny you--
340
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:54,606
--dignity, I mean--
341
00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:56,111
You only die once.
342
00:12:56,142 --> 00:12:57,982
[SOBBING]
343
00:12:58,011 --> 00:13:01,581
You owe it to your father
to let him go in style.
344
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,084
Fine! Fine!
345
00:13:05,885 --> 00:13:07,545
You do whatever
the hell you want.
346
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:08,987
Mama...
Come on!
347
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,192
Mama, I wasn't trying--
348
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:11,523
MICHAEL:
I'm coming, Mama.
349
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:14,228
Rochelle, you wrong.
350
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,158
Poor baby.
351
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,927
[CLEARS THROAT]
352
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:21,596
We'll take the blue one.
353
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,574
My daddy liked blue.
354
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,314
[***]
355
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:34,379
I always hated that picture.
356
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:36,354
It made me look
like I got smacked
357
00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:38,393
in the head with a brick.
358
00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:40,488
Oh, hi, Daddy.
359
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,060
You want a turtle?
360
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:45,328
No, but how you doing?
361
00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:46,528
I'm okay.
362
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:49,429
Mama's getting
on my last nerve.
363
00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:51,162
Oh, she can do that.
364
00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:53,297
She used to get
on my nerves too.
365
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,143
You know,
just because I'm dead
366
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,638
doesn't mean you have
to let her push you around.
367
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,341
And if she tries
to do that,
368
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,572
you smack her in the head
with that brick.
369
00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:03,678
[CHUCKLING]
370
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:07,210
[SIGHS]
371
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,191
NARRATOR:
By the day of the funeral,
372
00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:15,559
there was still one thingleft to fight over:
373
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,588
who gets to ride in the limo.
374
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:20,234
[SCREAMING]
375
00:14:24,964 --> 00:14:27,074
Who are you, and what
are you doing in here?
376
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:30,340
Hey, I'm Monay, this is Aisha,
and this is Tiki.
377
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,470
We saw the limo
so we had to hop in it.
378
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:34,205
Where y'all
about to go?
379
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,480
A funeral.
380
00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:37,638
Oh, I'm sorry.
381
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:38,947
Who died?
382
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:40,448
My husband.
383
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:41,950
Oh.
384
00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:45,351
Okay, well,
when y'all get back,
385
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:48,085
and if y'all not taking
the limo...
386
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:49,621
can we take it to the club?
387
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:51,616
Okay.
388
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:52,988
[GIGGLES]
389
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:58,301
NARRATOR:
The only thing more crowdedthan a limo before the funeral
390
00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:00,571
is your houseafter the funeral.
391
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,100
Hey, what are you doing here?
392
00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:04,135
My dad dropped me off
to pay my respects.
393
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:06,240
Thanks, man.
He had to go to work.
394
00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:08,642
Mama! Come look!
395
00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:10,635
Chris has got
a white friend.
396
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:12,377
Michael, close
your mouth.
397
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:15,122
Stop acting like you never
seen a white person before.
398
00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:16,978
Hi, honey.
You hungry?
399
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:18,277
You want something
to eat?
400
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:19,288
Sure.
401
00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:21,019
Well, come on.
402
00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:22,364
No, thank you.
403
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:24,559
How about a slinky?
Would you like a slinky?
404
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,331
[ALL CHATTERING]
405
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:28,189
I left a whole load
of sloppies
406
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:29,598
in the kitchen
for you guys.
407
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,259
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
408
00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:34,467
Chris, I got
a new video game at the store.
409
00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,141
Okay.
410
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:38,169
Next time someone dies,
let me know.
411
00:15:38,204 --> 00:15:40,114
I'll get you a good deal
on a casket.
412
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:42,410
Man, what is
your problem?
413
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,512
Sorry about your grandfather,
Chris.
414
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,554
NARRATOR:
The one good thingabout losing a family member
415
00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:48,579
is that you getlots of sympathy.
416
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:50,145
What are you doing?
417
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:51,723
My grandfather died.
418
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,351
Just because
your grandfather died
419
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:56,016
doesn't mean you can go around
hugging people.
420
00:15:57,290 --> 00:16:00,090
Sorry about
your grandfather.
421
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:03,156
NARRATOR:
At least somebody was gettingsome sympathy.
422
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:07,065
Who is that?
I don't know.
423
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,170
Hey, little dude
from across the street,
424
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:10,342
here you go, man.
425
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:11,470
What's this?
426
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:13,314
I robbed your grandfather
a few times.
427
00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:15,080
I didn't know you knew him.
428
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,075
[SIGHS]
429
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:22,083
My turtles.
430
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,116
[***]
431
00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:37,128
Who ate my turtles?
432
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,203
Oh, is that
what you call them things?
433
00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:41,332
I ate them,
but they was nasty.
434
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:43,268
What's in those things,
anyway?
435
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:46,613
If you didn't like them,
why did you eat them?
436
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:48,339
Mama, I am sick of you.
437
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:51,275
Ever since you got here, you
have not stopped complaining.
438
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:52,681
Just because Daddy is dead
439
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:55,182
does not mean
that you can come into my house
440
00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:56,515
and tell everybody
what to do.
441
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:58,649
Michael, get your feet
off of my damn couch
442
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:01,215
before I slap the jam
out of your toes.
443
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:02,824
Aunt Grievey,
stop all that crying.
444
00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,286
You cried on Easter.
445
00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:05,834
You cried on Halloween.
446
00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:08,159
You cried on Flag Day.
447
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:10,104
Get some Kleenex,
wipe your nose,
448
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,830
'cause it ain't that damn sad.
449
00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:13,565
[SOBBING]
450
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,500
And hang up my phone!
451
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:16,835
And Aunt Mousey,
452
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:18,540
take off your coat
453
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:20,211
and speak up.
454
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,310
You're over there peeping
and squeaking.
455
00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,682
[IMITATES SQUEAKING]
You sound like a damn rat.
456
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:25,881
Use your words!
457
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:28,182
You're damn near 60 years old!
458
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,724
And, Mama,
the next time you want
459
00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:33,789
to eat my turtles, the least
you could do is like them.
460
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,120
[DOOR SLAMS]
461
00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:37,415
NARRATOR:
She's back!
462
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:41,192
[***]
463
00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:42,761
Hey.
464
00:17:42,796 --> 00:17:43,856
Hey, baby.
465
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,127
How you doing?
466
00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:46,495
I'm fine.
467
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:48,403
I brought you
your turtles.
468
00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:50,635
Yay, turtles.
Thank you.
469
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:53,240
I'm proud of you
for standing up to your mother.
470
00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:55,343
You had me worried there
for a minute.
471
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:56,405
Why?
472
00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:59,613
I thought you were
about to smack her with a brick.
473
00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:01,506
[BOTH LAUGH]
474
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:03,618
It's so good
seeing you, girl.
475
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,150
You take care.
476
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:06,615
You owe me
some Kleenex.
477
00:18:06,653 --> 00:18:08,393
See you later, thanks for
all the chicken and things.
478
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:11,491
All right, and stay out
of them pretzels. Bye.
479
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:12,834
So...
480
00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:14,259
[SIGHS]
481
00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:16,434
Did he say anything
before he died?
482
00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:17,803
Who, Daddy?
483
00:18:17,831 --> 00:18:19,401
No, Martin Luther King.
484
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:22,302
Yes, your father.
Did he mention me?
485
00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:25,235
No, he just asked
for more pork chops.
486
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:28,411
NARRATOR:
I know what you're thinking:"She should have lied."
487
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,741
But actually,the truth was better.
488
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,207
Figures.
489
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:35,275
I liked the flowers.
490
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:38,419
You liked them?
I guess so.
491
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:41,451
NARRATOR:
I know that doesn't seemlike much of an apology
492
00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:43,288
after everythingthat's happened,
493
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:45,463
but here's whatshe really meant to say...
494
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:48,662
Baby, I am
so proud of you.
495
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:49,925
I know.
496
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:51,803
You are doing
a wonderful job.
497
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,271
I know!
498
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,339
I wish my no-good son
would stand up for me
499
00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:57,538
the way your son
stood up for you.
I know!
500
00:18:57,570 --> 00:19:01,210
And your father--
Oh, he would be so proud of you.
501
00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:02,541
I know!
502
00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,635
Well, Mama,
why are you so damn mean?
503
00:19:04,678 --> 00:19:06,208
I don't know.
504
00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:08,916
And baby, your hair,
it don't stink.
505
00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:10,818
I know.
506
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:13,250
See you around.
507
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,860
Take care, Mama.
508
00:19:15,889 --> 00:19:18,189
[***]
509
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,256
That's all of it.
510
00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:22,934
Oh, thank you, baby.
511
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:25,773
I'm really going
to miss him, Mom.
512
00:19:25,799 --> 00:19:29,239
Me too, Chris.
Me too.
513
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:34,240
Chris, get in here
and pick up this yo-yo!
514
00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:35,984
My father died,
for goodness sake,
515
00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:38,479
and now you're trying
to kill me too!
516
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:44,749
* Everybody hates Chris
517
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:48,519
[***]
518
00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:53,386
* Aw, make it funky now
33784
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