Original subtitles

[Fran] Previously on

Are we nodding and smiling

because you're trying to tell me we're gonna have a baby?

-[squeals] -Oh!

-Hi, Daddy. -Hello, sweetheart.

If the deal goes through and I start producing,

we are moving to Beverly Hills.

So, Maggie, will you marry me?

-Yes! -No!

[cheering]

Uh, Fran, I've decided I don't wanna go to college.

You're a... You walk like a...

Marry me.

Oh, no.

You turned him down because he's not rich?

Miss Babcock, why do you always think with your head?

What does your heart say?

Don't marry a maid.

[Maxwell] Oh, happy anniversary, darling.

-[Fran] Mmm. -Oh, you are so beautiful.

Even though I'm pregnant and I gained a little weight?

Oh, sweetheart. You know, if I hadn't actually seen the sonogram,

I wouldn't even know you were pregnant.

Really?

You know, sweetie, you're just as exquisite as the day I first met you.

Why don't you look in my eyes and say that?

Because I can't see them over your tummy.

Oh, honey.

I'm disgusting.

And you know what the worst part of it all is?

I could go for a barbecued beef sandwich.

Well, sweetheart,

why don't I just mosey over to that snack stand, again,

and see if I can get you a barbecued beef sandwich.

Oh, I love you, sweetie.

On a kaiser roll.

With Fritos! Oh, and get me the...

Oh, you know what? Let me come too.

You'll never be able to carry it all by yourself.

Wait.

-Fran, darling, are you all right? -Oh.

Oh, honey.

You don't find me attractive anymore because I'm a whale.

Sweetheart, you're carrying twins.

"Sweetheart, you're not a whale,"

would have been the better way to go.

-Hiya, Fran. -Oh, hi.

Uh-oh.

Are we a little mopey?

Did she just call me Moby?

Oh, dear, you don't have to tell me.

It sucks being a big, fat cow.

Oh...

Doctor, Doctor, I don't understand.

My first wife had three children,

but she never experienced these mood swings

or the bloating or the huge ankles.

She gave birth to gentiles.

Oh, Doc, when am I gonna have them already?

I know you don't realize this because I am not a complainer,

but I'm very uncomfortable.

Oh, Franny.

I know you love those little angels inside you,

but I bet you're thinking,

"When the hell are you gonna move out?"

Yeah, just try and get a Jewish kid to leave his mother.

Well, you know, doing a little light exercise can help induce labor.

Oh, I've got a good idea, sweetheart.

You know, Saturday's our anniversary.

So why don't just the two of us go for a nice romantic walk in the country?

-Okay. -We can take a picnic.

Yeah, we could drive up to Connecticut in the Aston Martin.

-Oh, I can't. -Oh, why?

[tearfully] Because I can't fit in the Aston Martin.

♪ She was working In a bridal shop ♪

♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪

♪ Till her boyfriend Kicked her out ♪

♪ In one of those Crushing scenes ♪

♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪

♪ She was out on her fanny ♪

♪ So over the bridge From Flushing ♪

♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪

♪ She was there to sell make-up But the father saw more ♪

♪ She had style! She had flair! She was there ♪

♪ That's how she became ♪

♪ The Nanny ♪

♪ Who would have guessed That the girl we described ♪

♪ Was just exactly What the doctor prescribed? ♪

♪ Now, the father Finds her beguiling ♪

♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪

♪ And the kids Are actually smiling ♪

♪ Such joie de vivre ♪

♪ She's the lady in red ♪

♪ When everybody else Is wearing tan ♪

♪ The flashy girl From Flushing ♪

♪ The Nanny named Fran! ♪

Oh, honey, I'll tell you, between planning the anniversary party,

and packing for California, I'm exhausted already.

Well, it looks like you're almost done here.

What are you talking about? These are just my flats.

Fran, do you think you're doing too much in your condition?

I mean, why are you all of a sudden planning an anniversary party?

Well, because I can't fit into a little English sports car

but I can fit into a big French restaurant.

Aww, look at this dress.

Oh, do you think I'll ever be able to fit in this again?

-You're not saying "yes." -Yes.

-When do you think I'll-- -Soon.

Sweetie, I love you.

Oh, I just felt a baby kick.

Oh, I know.

Does it feel weird to have something moving around in your stomach?

Oh, listen, I was raised in a home

where we ate pastrami and Heinz baked beans.

I'm used to movement.

Oh, honey, look at the time.

Oh, we've gotta fly.

You don't wanna be late for your therapy appointment.

Isn't it exciting? This is your last one.

Well, actually, I'm a little conflicted.

How did you know when you were ready to stop your therapy?

Oh, sweetie, that was easy.

I went to therapy because I was terrified of being single.

I mean, I didn't think you could be a complete woman

unless you had a man. I was very sick.

-How'd you get over it? -Mmm.

Your daddy gave me this ring.

All right, the anniversary party is a go.

I've booked the restaurant reserved the musicians,

ordered the flowers, picked out the cake,

and I'm on my way to hand-deliver invitations.

Well, I'll tell you, if all that work

doesn't bring on these babies, I don't know what will.

[doorbell rings]

That's Ma with the exercise tape.

The doctor also said a light workout can help induce labor.

I'm sorry, but you're too tired from planning the party

to have me do a light workout.

-Hello. -Hello.

Oh, Yetta. I've never seen you in tights.

How'd you like to see me out of them?

Ooh...

-Darling, I rented two exercise tapes. -Oh, good.

And at the counter, I picked up peanut butter cups,

chocolate chips,

licorice.

I hope this tape brings on my labor

although I really don't blame them for wanting to stay in there.

I mean, all they do is lie around all day,

it's 98 degrees, all-you-can-eat.

It's Miami in there.

You know, when my Sylvia was a baby

when she was born, she weighed nine and a half pounds.

That's not so unusual.

It is when you're a preemie.

All right, ladies, take your positions.

[woman] Full circles, all the way.

Open up the chest area. That's it.

Muscles of the chest tend to shorten during pregnancy.

[Yetta] This isn't so bad.

-[Val] I could do this all day. -Stretch it out.

[Fran] Yeah, but I don't see how this is gonna induce labor.

Keep your back straight. Keep your back...

[all] Happy anniversary! Whoo!

[man] That's amazing.

So, Sylvia, what did you and Morty do on your first anniversary?

-We went to Puerto Rico. -Aww.

What about you, Yetta?

We fled Poland.

Attention. Attention, everybody.

Ladies, gentlemen. May I have your attention, please?

My daughter has asked me to sing this song to her husband, Maxwell,

in honor of her love for him and because this is a special occasion--

Morty, we lose the room at midnight.

Anyway, I just want you all to know how very proud I am of my little girl.

-Well, as you can see, she's not so little-- -Sing, Daddy.

Okay.

[piano music playing]

♪ Time after time ♪

♪ I tell myself that I'm ♪

♪ So lucky to be loving you ♪

♪ So lucky to be ♪

♪ The one you run to see In the evening ♪

♪ When the day is through ♪

♪ I only know what I know ♪

♪ The passing years will show ♪

♪ You've kept my love So young ♪

♪ So new ♪

♪ And time after time ♪

♪ You'll hear me say that I'm ♪

♪ So lucky ♪

♪ To be loving you ♪

[applause]

[peppy instrumental music playing]

May I cut in?

[guffaws]

Daddy.

I was thinking about that while I was singing.

Come on. Very funny.

Oh, come here, darling.

-Oh, darling. -That was so beautiful, Daddy.

Oh, thank you, sweetheart.

And I know you're gonna make your husband as happy as

Mother has made me.

Darling, I don't know if I told you

-how happy I am to have you as my son-in-law. -Oh...

I know it hasn't been easy for you to have us as in-laws,

because sometimes, we can be a pain in the tuchus.

Oh, Sylvia, that's all right. I learned to live with it.

Niles, isn't life strange?

For 20 years, we despised each other.

I mean, every time I looked into those revolting eyes,

I wanted to retch, sweetie.

Dip me.

Sweetheart, I want to show you something very special.

Look right up there.

[Fran] Oh, honey.

That is the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me.

But did you have to do it on a blimp?

Miss Babcock, I was thinking.

I... I know I shouldn't have asked you to marry me when I did.

-We weren't ready. -That's why I laughed in your face, lover.

But I think we're ready now.

Will you marry me?

Niles, what just happened?

Well, I thought the time was perfect.

I mean, the music, the blimp.

-You mean that one. -Oh.

Why would she run out after I proposed to her?

Oh, you proposed?

And she ran away?

Well, maybe she just needed time to think before she said yes.

You didn't need time to think.

Well, that's because you told me the night before,

so I had time to prepare.

-Perhaps I should go after her. -Oh, no, no, no, old man.

-Have patience. You-you'll get your answer. -When?

Oh, just as soon as Fran, who I'm sure is no longer behind me,

reports back from Yenta Central.

Miss Babcock! Miss Babcock!

-Do you wanna be alone? -Yes.

Okay, we're alone.

So, what happened? Niles proposed to you.

You didn't know what to say, so you just ran out? Just guessing.

I feel like I'm gonna throw up.

Why does he have to ruin everything?

What the hell does he wanna marry me for?

Because he loves you.

And why don't you wanna marry Niles?

Do you have any idea how wonderful he is?

You know, it's not so easy finding a guy like him.

The man irons rags.

-[rumbling] -Oh...

Oy...

That can't be good.

Relax, relax. Just-just press the, uh, the emergency button.

Yeah. Okay, okay.

-Nothing's happening. -Oy, that can't be good.

[Fran gasps]

Okay, don't panic. Don't panic.

Eventually, they'll notice we're missing and they'll come and find us.

Oh, my God, what happens if I go into labor?

Well, that isn't gonna happen.

Yeah, it is.

-What? -[screaming]

What are you doing with that? It says no smoking.

Yeah, well, it says door open and that ain't happening.

[rumbling]

-Oh, my God. -God.

Put that away. It's not good for the babies.

What does it matter? We're gonna die anyway.

What?

What would you have named the kids?

You know, I don't know what Niles sees in you.

Yeah, well, neither do I.

Oh, deep.

You know what your problem is, Miss Babcock?

You're just afraid and I don't know why.

Marriage is a beautiful, wonderful institution.

Look how happy it's made me! [groaning in pain]

Oh, you are such a drama queen.

Why don't you come down here

and let me explain to you the source of these horrific screams?

Imagine, if you will...

squeezing out two 40-pound matzo balls...

through your nostril!

Oh. Oh.

They're coming. They're coming.

Do you see a head?

You don't actually want me to look down there, do you?

This is it. This is it.

Cross your legs.

[Fran exhaling rapidly]

Oh, good. You took that out so you could sterilize your hands?

Uh... Yeah.

Oh, God.

Oh. It's gone. The pain stopped.

Oh, praise the Lord.

-Are you okay? -I've been better.

Okay, then, well, let's get back to me.

How do I know that Niles is the one?

How do I know that I'm not making a mistake?

You don't.

But unless you take a chance, you're never gonna find out.

And, believe me, that's harder to live with.

Do you think I have what it takes to make a good wife?

No.

But he does.

Oh, sir.

Perhaps I'm destined to spend my life as an old maid.

Literally. [chuckles]

You're not supporting my hurt, sir.

Come on, Niles, you'd make a wonderful catch.

Where is she gonna find a man like you, hmm?

You know, you're right.

I live in a lovely home, I drive an expensive car.

I'm a successful Broadway pro... Oops. Sad again.

Well, you've certainly kept me happy these 25 years.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Would you like to buy your partner a rose?

Um... He's not my...

Uh...

Give me a red one.

Dad, there's a woman stuck in an elevator and I think it's Fran.

What makes you think it's Fran?

Well, because it's stuck like 30 floors below us

and you could still hear a woman talking.

Oh, yeah, that's my Fran.

Oh, my God, that's Fran!

[breathing rapidly]

Now, Nanny Fine, breathe slowly.

-In... -[exhales]

-And out. -[inhales]

-And in... -[exhales]

-And out. -[inhales]

Good girl.

♪ Don't tell me What it's all about ♪

♪ 'Cause I've been there And I'm glad... ♪

Everybody.

[both]♪ Out of those chains ♪

♪ Those chains that bind you ♪

-♪ That is why... ♪ -Just the pregnant girl.

♪ I'm here to remind you ♪

♪ What do you get When you fall in love? ♪

♪ You only get lies And pain, and sorrows ♪

♪ So far at least Until tomorrow... ♪

[screaming]

♪ Never fall in love again ♪

-♪ Don't you know that-- ♪ -[screaming]

♪ Never fall in love a-- ♪

This is it. They're coming! They're coming!

Come on, Nanny Fine, you can hold them in a little longer.

Please.

I don't know nothing about birthing no babies!

Well, frankly, Miss Babcock, I don't give a damn.

Help! Help me!

-[knocking] -[Maxwell] Darling? Darling, are you in there?

Honey! Honey!

Oh, my God, that's my wife's voice.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

No, she's pregnant, you idiot. Just get her out of there.

-[C.C.] Niles! -Miss Babcock?

Yes, it's Niles.

I have an answer to your question.

I thought long and hard about it and my answer is...

[Fran screaming loudly]

-Oh, crap. -[C.C.] What I said was--

-Are you all right? -Of course, she's fine.

Miss Babcock, could you say it one more time?

Niles...

I would love to marry you.

Yes! Get out of the way!

Oh, Miss Babcock, I love you.

Mmm.

Call me C.C.

-Oh, thank you. Thank you. -Congratulations.

-This is so wonderful. -Hey. Hello.

Down here. Babies popping out.

Oh, my God. God, you're in labor? She's in labor.

Oh, my sweet darling.

Oh, I can only imagine what kind of pain you must be in.

I so very much don't think so.

Listen, darling, you just stay right there.

Oh, okay.

I'm gonna call an ambulance. Everything's gonna be fine.

All right, everybody, now listen up. Niles, go hail us a cab.

C.C., you and Margaret, go to the hospital, check us in.

Brighton, you take Grace home, pack an overnight bag for Fran.

Meet us at the hospital. Everyone, stay calm.

-I don't want any added stress put on Fran. -[elevator bell dings]

[Fran] Stress has just been added.

Epidural. Epi-damn-dural!

[Val] Oy, where does the time go?

It was just yesterday she was a spinster.

I love Vegas.

Come on, lemon, lemon, lemon.

I still can't believe it.

Miss Fine got the man of her dreams, and now I got the man of mine.

Sorry. Old dog, new tricks.

-Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick. -Well, I was just kidding.

You're not having second thoughts, are you?

No. No.

Would I have said yes to the man I love if I weren't sure?

[theme music playing]

[theme music ends]