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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,166 --> 00:00:09,116 Oh, Val, I am sitting on a secret for over a week now 2 00:00:09,150 --> 00:00:12,500 and I cannot tell a living soul. 3 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:14,183 [sighs] 4 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,383 -Good cake. -Niles and Ms. Babcock are having an affair. 5 00:00:22,416 --> 00:00:24,500 [gasps] 6 00:00:24,830 --> 00:00:26,350 -With who? -With each other. 7 00:00:28,166 --> 00:00:29,300 So where are they now? 8 00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:31,400 Well, he was called out of town 9 00:00:31,433 --> 00:00:33,283 for this big family reunion in London 10 00:00:33,316 --> 00:00:36,133 and she said she'd take him to the airport in the limo. 11 00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:37,316 In the back, 12 00:00:37,350 --> 00:00:39,416 because all of a sudden she was in need 13 00:00:39,450 --> 00:00:42,350 of duty-free L'air Du Temps. 14 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,150 Hello, hello. 15 00:00:54,660 --> 00:00:56,366 -Hi, Ms. Babcock. -Hi, Ms. Babcock. 16 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,830 Um, Ms. Babcock, 17 00:01:03,116 --> 00:01:05,350 did Niles get off okay? 18 00:01:11,150 --> 00:01:12,133 Yes. 19 00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:16,383 Oh, Nanny Fine, would you please tell Maxwell 20 00:01:16,416 --> 00:01:19,400 that there's a crack in the privacy glass in the limo. 21 00:01:19,433 --> 00:01:22,250 It looks to me like someone's heel went through it. 22 00:01:29,150 --> 00:01:31,283 Oy, the limo. 23 00:01:31,316 --> 00:01:33,316 Oh, I feel so bad for Ms. Babcock. 24 00:01:33,350 --> 00:01:36,283 These are the moments that you wanna share with someone close to you. 25 00:01:36,316 --> 00:01:38,183 -Yeah. -You know, like your mother. 26 00:01:39,660 --> 00:01:40,433 Ma. 27 00:01:46,350 --> 00:01:48,216 Maggie, I have something to tell you. 28 00:01:49,350 --> 00:01:51,316 I got that modeling campaign in Japan. 29 00:01:51,350 --> 00:01:53,433 Oh, congratulations. 30 00:01:58,166 --> 00:02:00,433 What I'm about to say your parents aren't gonna like. 31 00:02:04,216 --> 00:02:06,133 But I have to leave in less than five days 32 00:02:06,166 --> 00:02:07,466 and I can't stand the thought of us 33 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,250 being apart for a whole year. 34 00:02:10,266 --> 00:02:11,300 So, Maggie... 35 00:02:12,316 --> 00:02:13,450 will you marry me? 36 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,166 -Yes! -No! 37 00:02:17,233 --> 00:02:20,660 [theme song playing] 38 00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:22,350 ♪She was working In a bridal shop In Flushing, Queens 39 00:02:22,383 --> 00:02:24,216 ♪Till her boyfriend Kicked her out 40 00:02:24,250 --> 00:02:26,330 ♪In one of those Crushing scenes 41 00:02:26,660 --> 00:02:28,160 ♪What was she to do? Where was she to go? 42 00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:30,316 ♪She was out on her fanny 43 00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:33,366 ♪So over the bridge From Flushing To the Sheffield's door 44 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,116 ♪She was there to sell make-up But the father saw more 45 00:02:36,150 --> 00:02:38,200 ♪She had style! She had flair! She was there! 46 00:02:38,233 --> 00:02:41,483 ♪That's how she became The Nanny 47 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:45,000 ♪Who would have guessed That the girl we described 48 00:02:45,330 --> 00:02:46,383 ♪Was just exactly What the doctor prescribed? 49 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,333 ♪Now, the father Finds her beguiling 50 00:02:48,366 --> 00:02:49,466 ♪Watch out C.C.! 51 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,200 ♪And the kids Are actually smiling 52 00:02:51,233 --> 00:02:52,266 ♪Such joie de vivre 53 00:02:52,300 --> 00:02:53,483 ♪She's the lady in red 54 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:57,000 ♪When everybody else Is wearing tan 55 00:02:58,216 --> 00:03:00,133 ♪The flashy girl From Flushing 56 00:03:00,166 --> 00:03:01,283 ♪The Nanny named Fran! 57 00:03:04,133 --> 00:03:06,466 This boy just asked my daughter to marry him. 58 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,183 What do you mean "yes"? 59 00:03:08,216 --> 00:03:10,116 Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie. 60 00:03:10,150 --> 00:03:12,166 I didn't mean to say yes before you. 61 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,660 It's just that it's in my DNA. 62 00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:18,116 I hear a marriage proposal, I have to accept. 63 00:03:18,150 --> 00:03:21,233 Look, Margaret is entirely too young to get married. 64 00:03:21,266 --> 00:03:25,830 Why? I was just about her age when we got married. 65 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:33,233 Well, all right, I should have been her age when we got married. 66 00:03:33,266 --> 00:03:36,150 Excuse me, but this is a very important moment in my life. 67 00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:37,266 Could we have privacy? 68 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,433 -No. -Yes. 69 00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:41,830 Fine. 70 00:03:41,116 --> 00:03:43,233 I love you, Michael, and I would love to marry you. 71 00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:44,366 Oh, my God. 72 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:47,216 -Oh, my God. -What's wrong? 73 00:03:47,250 --> 00:03:49,450 Come see the ring my son-in-law, the Jewish model, 74 00:03:49,483 --> 00:03:50,483 gave my daughter. 75 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:52,166 Oh, my God. 76 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,166 No one's getting married. 77 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,500 You're getting married? 78 00:03:56,830 --> 00:04:00,233 Oy, I have never been this thin in a wedding photo before. 79 00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:04,160 How fast can you do it? 80 00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:07,500 We got five days to plan the wedding. 81 00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:09,283 There is no wedding. 82 00:04:09,316 --> 00:04:14,160 Are ostrich feathers politically correct after dark? 83 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:15,366 -Excuse me. -Oh, look at that ring. 84 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,450 -We have to get dresses. -I don't wanna sit next to her cousin. 85 00:04:18,483 --> 00:04:20,283 Excuse me. 86 00:04:21,433 --> 00:04:23,350 I haven't finished here. 87 00:04:23,383 --> 00:04:27,000 Oh, sorry, honey. Keep talking. We're listening. 88 00:04:27,330 --> 00:04:29,000 -What-- -I think that we should have 89 00:04:29,330 --> 00:04:31,200 a make-your-own Belgian waffle bar. 90 00:04:31,233 --> 00:04:33,660 -Is that perfect? -Ooh! 91 00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:34,450 What are you talking about? 92 00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:38,100 There isn't gonna be a wedding. Will you come back here and discuss this? 93 00:04:38,133 --> 00:04:40,133 Where are you going? Get back here. 94 00:04:40,166 --> 00:04:42,330 I have not finished with this. 95 00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:45,330 What's all the noise about? 96 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:48,000 I'm marrying your sister. But actually, Fran said yes 97 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:49,466 and your grandmother left with the ring on, 98 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,150 and no one's letting your father talk. 99 00:04:54,233 --> 00:04:56,266 Welcome to the mishpachah, bro. 100 00:04:56,300 --> 00:04:59,283 [music playing] 101 00:05:02,266 --> 00:05:06,133 Margaret, you haven't even been seeing this boy for a year. 102 00:05:06,166 --> 00:05:09,433 How about a cupid fountain that pees mimosa? 103 00:05:09,466 --> 00:05:11,100 Ooh! 104 00:05:11,133 --> 00:05:14,500 Oh, the Schwartzburgs had that at the bris. 105 00:05:14,830 --> 00:05:15,266 It was very unique. 106 00:05:16,830 --> 00:05:17,400 [sighs] 107 00:05:17,433 --> 00:05:20,316 -I need some air. -You know, that doesn't work. Give it here. 108 00:05:20,350 --> 00:05:22,166 Dad, I don't understand. 109 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:25,330 First you're upset because Michael and I wanna move in together 110 00:05:25,660 --> 00:05:27,166 and then you're upset because we wanna get married? 111 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:28,300 Excuse me. 112 00:05:28,333 --> 00:05:30,166 -Val? -Uh-huh. 113 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,400 I'm a little bit nauseous. 114 00:05:31,433 --> 00:05:34,500 Do you have any soda crackers or anything? 115 00:05:34,830 --> 00:05:37,150 Well, I got some Cap'n Crunch in the glove compartment. 116 00:05:37,183 --> 00:05:39,283 -Honey, could you get some? -Oh, here, use this. 117 00:05:39,316 --> 00:05:42,500 -I thought you said it didn't work. -On the window, 118 00:05:42,830 --> 00:05:44,250 but it's perfect to pry open the glove compartment. 119 00:05:46,133 --> 00:05:48,433 How about a caricaturist for the wedding? 120 00:05:48,466 --> 00:05:50,333 Oh, that's so tacky, Ma. 121 00:05:50,366 --> 00:05:53,233 Can we just stick with the cupid peeing? 122 00:05:53,266 --> 00:05:56,116 Well, I'm sorry, but I don't see a box of Cap'n Crunch in here. 123 00:05:56,150 --> 00:05:58,830 Oh, no, they're not in a box. They're loose. 124 00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:03,116 Here. Take these. 125 00:06:03,150 --> 00:06:06,330 Now, I've had enough. I am the head of this household. 126 00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:09,160 And as such, I have a say in the future of my eldest daughter. 127 00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:10,416 This will not be rushed into. 128 00:06:10,450 --> 00:06:14,366 There will be no wedding. End of discussion. 129 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:18,433 Oh, you are going to make such a beautiful bride. 130 00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:26,660 This is a knockoff of the dress Melissa Rivers almost bought. 131 00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:28,330 [together] Ooh! 132 00:06:29,150 --> 00:06:31,316 Oh, Fran, what are we gonna do about Daddy? 133 00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:34,500 He was so upset when Val dropped him off at the theater. 134 00:06:34,830 --> 00:06:35,266 Oh, sweetie. 135 00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:37,450 It's been my experience with your father 136 00:06:37,483 --> 00:06:39,366 that he just needs time to think about it 137 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,400 and then he changes his mind. 138 00:06:41,433 --> 00:06:43,450 Fathers are always devastated 139 00:06:43,483 --> 00:06:45,383 when their little girls get married. 140 00:06:45,416 --> 00:06:47,300 But your father was happy. 141 00:06:47,333 --> 00:06:49,216 I said little girls. 142 00:06:52,333 --> 00:06:53,350 [sighs] 143 00:06:53,383 --> 00:06:55,000 -Fran? -Yeah? 144 00:06:55,330 --> 00:06:58,350 I remember the first time you brought Maggie in. 145 00:06:58,383 --> 00:07:01,450 You were just the nanny and I was working here behind the counter. 146 00:07:01,483 --> 00:07:04,183 -Yeah. -Now you're married, 147 00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:06,300 you got a whole family 148 00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:08,383 and I work at a doughnut shop 149 00:07:08,416 --> 00:07:11,200 six blocks closer to the bus stop. 150 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,266 When you wish upon a star. 151 00:07:20,366 --> 00:07:23,166 It's so fancy. Everyone will look at me. 152 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,330 So? They'll think you're a beautiful girl. 153 00:07:26,660 --> 00:07:29,660 I don't know. I'm not good at this like you are. 154 00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:31,216 Honey, that's what I'm here for. 155 00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:33,416 What do you think? You turn 14 and boom, 156 00:07:33,450 --> 00:07:36,166 you've got the savoir faire and sophistication 157 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,450 of a woman of my years and experience? 158 00:07:39,433 --> 00:07:41,416 Look, when I was 14... 159 00:07:42,350 --> 00:07:43,333 Oh, go try it on. 160 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,183 Who knew this job would be so demanding? 161 00:07:48,216 --> 00:07:50,300 Please, I'm exhausted. 162 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:55,200 Oh, sweetie, what's wrong? 163 00:07:55,233 --> 00:07:57,366 I'm just so happy 164 00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,466 that I got married before her. 165 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,330 Oh. Sure. Yeah. 166 00:08:02,660 --> 00:08:06,830 Do you think it would take away from the bride if I wore this? 167 00:08:08,150 --> 00:08:11,133 [music playing] 168 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:18,166 Hi, sweetie. 169 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,350 I knew you were upset, 170 00:08:20,383 --> 00:08:23,333 so I made you a little chocolate pudding. 171 00:08:24,266 --> 00:08:25,383 You made it? 172 00:08:25,416 --> 00:08:28,183 Well, I made it to Zabar's before they closed. 173 00:08:30,166 --> 00:08:31,433 Oh, sweetie. 174 00:08:31,466 --> 00:08:35,133 You have no idea how your disapproving of the wedding 175 00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:36,483 upsets Maggie. 176 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,350 I mean, can you imagine how upset I would be 177 00:08:39,383 --> 00:08:43,150 if my parents disapproved of me marrying you? 178 00:08:43,183 --> 00:08:45,330 I mean, in a world gone mad. 179 00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:48,283 Yes, but it just doesn't seem right to me. 180 00:08:48,316 --> 00:08:50,433 I mean, she's not ready. 181 00:08:50,466 --> 00:08:52,183 Well, it seems right to her. 182 00:08:52,216 --> 00:08:54,433 And if you would just stop yelling at her 183 00:08:54,466 --> 00:08:56,366 and try listening to her, 184 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,830 I think that you would know what it feels like. 185 00:08:59,116 --> 00:09:01,450 I can't. I can't talk to her. 186 00:09:01,483 --> 00:09:04,830 She'll just look at me with those eyes of hers 187 00:09:04,116 --> 00:09:05,416 and I can't refuse her anything. 188 00:09:05,450 --> 00:09:07,300 Honey. 189 00:09:07,333 --> 00:09:09,466 That's exactly what we're counting on. 190 00:09:13,330 --> 00:09:16,166 Oh, hi, honey. Look who's out here. 191 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:19,300 Sweetie, why don't you sit down, talk to your father 192 00:09:19,333 --> 00:09:21,416 and I'm gonna go check on dinner. 193 00:09:21,450 --> 00:09:23,316 Gracie, how's it coming? 194 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:29,350 Daddy, I know you're upset, 195 00:09:29,383 --> 00:09:31,316 but I don't think you really understand 196 00:09:31,350 --> 00:09:33,400 how Michael and I feel about each other. 197 00:09:33,433 --> 00:09:36,100 Sweetheart, how can you be sure? 198 00:09:36,133 --> 00:09:38,250 You haven't known him long enough. 199 00:09:38,283 --> 00:09:41,150 Didn't you know the moment you saw Fran? 200 00:09:41,183 --> 00:09:44,416 Yes, but we both wanted to wait the proper amount of time. 201 00:09:45,333 --> 00:09:47,100 Fran wanted to wait? 202 00:09:49,416 --> 00:09:52,300 Dad, why wait when you know? 203 00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:55,160 I mean, it's like when you read a script 204 00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:56,466 and you just know that it's gonna be a hit. 205 00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:00,500 I mean, except for when you passed onCats... 206 00:10:00,830 --> 00:10:03,416 -because that was kind of-- -Yes, yes. All right, no need to rehash. 207 00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:09,500 Well, Daddy, can't you see that Michael is myCats? 208 00:10:10,216 --> 00:10:13,160 Please, just don't let me pass on this one. 209 00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:16,316 [music playing] 210 00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:18,116 You're really in love, aren't you? 211 00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:20,450 So much. 212 00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:27,216 You know, I love you too, Daddy. 213 00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:30,483 And I love you, sweetheart. 214 00:10:36,660 --> 00:10:38,350 And you're gonna make a beautiful bride. 215 00:10:38,383 --> 00:10:41,366 [music continues] 216 00:10:51,166 --> 00:10:54,416 Thank you for inviting me to your wedding, Maggie. 217 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,830 Yetta, I'm-- 218 00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:59,433 [mumbles] 219 00:10:59,466 --> 00:11:03,266 Did you hear about Ms. Babcock and the male maid? 220 00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,216 What are you talking about? 221 00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:10,233 Well, Franny and her husband walked in on them 222 00:11:10,266 --> 00:11:14,000 when they were doing the horizontal hora. 223 00:11:14,330 --> 00:11:17,166 Where? Kitchen, closet, stairway, limo? 224 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:18,216 Walmart? 225 00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:22,300 Walmart, huh? 226 00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:26,383 Well, if they dig the danger of getting caught, 227 00:11:26,416 --> 00:11:30,233 they should try the aluminum sheds at Home Depot. 228 00:11:37,450 --> 00:11:40,266 Fran, everything looks so beautiful. 229 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,183 It's exactly how I pictured it. 230 00:11:42,216 --> 00:11:44,433 Oh, sweetie, remember all those times 231 00:11:44,466 --> 00:11:46,250 you'd come down these stairs 232 00:11:46,283 --> 00:11:49,250 holding the flowers from the foyer, 233 00:11:49,283 --> 00:11:52,150 making believe you were a bride? 234 00:11:52,183 --> 00:11:53,350 That was you, Fran. 235 00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:58,333 Niles. They saw us. 236 00:11:58,366 --> 00:12:01,660 No. No. No. 237 00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:02,400 No, what does it matter where? 238 00:12:02,433 --> 00:12:05,316 The important thing is when you get back, 239 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:08,300 I need to pick up something at Home Depot. 240 00:12:08,333 --> 00:12:11,133 -[bell dings] -Oh, honey, that's Michael. 241 00:12:11,166 --> 00:12:13,660 You can't let him see you before the wedding. 242 00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:15,366 -It's bad luck. Go put some makeup on. -It's on. 243 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,133 Well, put some more. You're taking pictures with my family. 244 00:12:18,166 --> 00:12:20,383 You're gonna disappear next to the cast of Ringling Bros. 245 00:12:23,266 --> 00:12:25,466 -Hi, sweetie. -Hey. 246 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,660 [kisses] 247 00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:28,483 Let me take your coat. Come on in. 248 00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:33,160 Hello, Dad. 249 00:12:33,450 --> 00:12:35,383 Hello, son, 250 00:12:35,416 --> 00:12:38,333 who's taking my daughter away. 251 00:12:38,366 --> 00:12:41,166 I just wanna let you know that I love your daughter very much. 252 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,450 I am gonna take such good care of her. 253 00:12:43,483 --> 00:12:45,333 I'm sure you will. 254 00:12:45,366 --> 00:12:48,350 I've always dreamt of having my daughter marry an underpants model. 255 00:12:50,466 --> 00:12:53,000 Oh, look. "Mr. and Mrs. Brolin." 256 00:12:53,330 --> 00:12:54,350 Yeah, it's my cousin James. 257 00:12:54,383 --> 00:12:56,200 James Brolin? 258 00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:58,233 Oh, boy, if his wife's name is Barbra, 259 00:12:58,266 --> 00:13:01,000 they can really have fun with that. 260 00:13:01,330 --> 00:13:03,133 His wife's name is Barbra. 261 00:13:03,166 --> 00:13:05,100 Oh, do they really have fun with that? 262 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:07,466 I don't know, they just got married. 263 00:13:10,660 --> 00:13:11,483 -In July? -Yeah. 264 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:13,416 -In Malibu, California? -Yeah. 265 00:13:13,450 --> 00:13:16,200 -Were her photos in People? -Uh-huh. 266 00:13:16,233 --> 00:13:19,160 -And they're coming here? -In, like, 10 minutes. 267 00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:23,116 They wanted to get here early 'cause they have to leave early. 268 00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:24,300 She's got a 9:00 flight. 269 00:13:24,333 --> 00:13:26,200 [gasps] Oh, my God. 270 00:13:26,233 --> 00:13:27,433 Oh, my daughter is marrying a boy 271 00:13:27,466 --> 00:13:29,383 whose cousin is married to Barbra. 272 00:13:29,416 --> 00:13:32,116 My dreams are finally coming true. 273 00:13:32,150 --> 00:13:35,160 I'm going to be a Streisand. 274 00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:38,183 Maxwell. 275 00:13:38,216 --> 00:13:40,466 -Maxwell. -What, darling? 276 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:44,250 Barbra Streisand is coming to my house and... 277 00:13:44,283 --> 00:13:46,350 -And... -And what, darling? 278 00:13:46,383 --> 00:13:49,500 I think I'm going into labor. 279 00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:50,483 What? Oh, my God. 280 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:52,433 Someone, pack a suitcase. Quick. It's time. 281 00:13:52,466 --> 00:13:55,500 Sweetheart, we have to get you to a hospital. 282 00:13:55,830 --> 00:13:57,233 No. No. The pain is not that... 283 00:13:57,266 --> 00:13:59,283 [groaning] 284 00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:00,300 Bad. 285 00:14:02,330 --> 00:14:04,416 No, darling, we're going to the hospital. 286 00:14:04,450 --> 00:14:06,350 -No. No. I don't wanna go. -Come on. 287 00:14:06,383 --> 00:14:08,000 -I don't wanna go. -Come on. 288 00:14:08,330 --> 00:14:11,660 I'll have them over here. It'll be fine. 289 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:14,330 Please. Honey, not today. 290 00:14:14,660 --> 00:14:16,416 Barbra's married to Dr. Kiley fromMarcus Welby. 291 00:14:16,450 --> 00:14:18,000 He'll know what to do. 292 00:14:19,366 --> 00:14:21,830 All right, I got her makeup bag 293 00:14:21,116 --> 00:14:23,183 but someone else is gonna have to get her clothes. 294 00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:35,100 Yetta, would you let everyone know that Fran's doing just fine. 295 00:14:35,133 --> 00:14:36,383 The doctor's in with her right now. 296 00:14:36,416 --> 00:14:38,216 It turns out it was a false alarm. 297 00:14:39,483 --> 00:14:40,466 Fran. 298 00:14:42,183 --> 00:14:43,266 She's pregnant. 299 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,366 Yes, well, of course I'm the father. 300 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,266 Well, because I just know, that's how. 301 00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:52,000 Yetta, would you put someone else on the phone, please? 302 00:14:52,483 --> 00:14:54,283 Mrs. Sheffield, it seems you had 303 00:14:54,316 --> 00:14:57,266 some unusually strong Braxton Hicks contractions. 304 00:14:57,300 --> 00:15:00,266 It's very common for women over 35 under stress. 305 00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:02,316 Have you been stressed about anything recently? 306 00:15:02,350 --> 00:15:06,000 You mean, besides the fact that you think I'm over 35? 307 00:15:07,133 --> 00:15:09,283 Nothing to worry about. You're in no danger. 308 00:15:09,316 --> 00:15:11,150 But you do seem a little agitated. 309 00:15:11,183 --> 00:15:12,466 Yeah, well, you would be too 310 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,366 if Barbra Streisand was at your house at this very moment 311 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,830 and had to leave in less than two hours. 312 00:15:18,116 --> 00:15:19,200 Who? 313 00:15:20,216 --> 00:15:22,000 Oh, my God. 314 00:15:22,330 --> 00:15:23,133 Darling, darling, what is it? 315 00:15:23,166 --> 00:15:26,283 He does not know who Barbra Streisand is. 316 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,233 Sweetheart, I've just spoken to your mother. 317 00:15:30,266 --> 00:15:32,830 The guests are gonna enjoy their dinner 318 00:15:32,116 --> 00:15:34,183 but we're gonna postpone the ceremony until tomorrow. 319 00:15:34,216 --> 00:15:37,366 But what about Barbra? What about Barbra? 320 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,400 She's enjoying herself thoroughly. 321 00:15:39,433 --> 00:15:41,250 She's singing. 322 00:15:41,283 --> 00:15:43,333 Barbra Streisand is singing in my house? 323 00:15:43,366 --> 00:15:45,500 Mrs. Sheffield, I'm sorry, 324 00:15:45,830 --> 00:15:47,000 but you've got to remain here overnight. 325 00:15:47,330 --> 00:15:49,283 But you said that I wasn't in any danger. 326 00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:52,500 I want to play it safe. I'd prefer if you stay off your feet. 327 00:15:52,830 --> 00:15:54,350 You know, the doctor's absolutely right, sweetheart. 328 00:15:54,383 --> 00:15:56,483 What you need is a calming environment. 329 00:15:57,160 --> 00:16:01,283 What could be more calming than Streisand singing 'Evergreen'? 330 00:16:01,316 --> 00:16:05,330 'Evergreen.' That's Barbra Streisand. 331 00:16:05,660 --> 00:16:07,100 My uncle's her dentist in California. 332 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,133 I've met her. 333 00:16:09,350 --> 00:16:11,200 Oh, my God. 334 00:16:11,233 --> 00:16:13,400 It's six degrees of aggravation. 335 00:16:15,830 --> 00:16:16,400 Okay, he's gone. 336 00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:19,300 -Get my dress, get my purse. -No. Darling, darling, no, no, no. 337 00:16:19,333 --> 00:16:22,283 I want you in that bed. 338 00:16:22,316 --> 00:16:24,000 You know, honey, 339 00:16:24,330 --> 00:16:26,433 if you said that ordinarily, it would be a big turn-on. 340 00:16:26,466 --> 00:16:29,483 But right now, get out of my way. 341 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,350 Sweetheart, you'll just have to see Barbra another time. 342 00:16:32,383 --> 00:16:34,250 Come on, you've waited this long. 343 00:16:34,283 --> 00:16:36,333 What you need right now is to stay calm 344 00:16:36,366 --> 00:16:38,116 and not get over excited. 345 00:16:38,150 --> 00:16:40,166 -But, honey-- -No buts. 346 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,133 -I want you to stay in that bed. -But, Max-- 347 00:16:42,166 --> 00:16:44,830 Do you understand me? 348 00:16:45,166 --> 00:16:46,233 Yes. 349 00:16:47,150 --> 00:16:48,316 And you know I'm right? 350 00:16:50,150 --> 00:16:52,400 -Yes. -Yes. 351 00:16:52,433 --> 00:16:57,216 I'm sorry, honey. I know that I'm acting childish. 352 00:16:57,250 --> 00:17:00,350 I'll spend the night here like they want me to. 353 00:17:00,383 --> 00:17:03,150 And I'll be right here by your side. 354 00:17:03,183 --> 00:17:06,333 Oh, sweetie, I love you. You're such a good husband. 355 00:17:06,366 --> 00:17:08,300 You're so busy taking care of me. 356 00:17:08,333 --> 00:17:10,483 Meanwhile, when was the last time you even ate? 357 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:14,116 Oh, I don't know. I had some breakfast this morning. 358 00:17:14,150 --> 00:17:15,416 Matter of fact, I'm a little peckish. 359 00:17:15,450 --> 00:17:17,416 Why don't I pop out, bring us both back some dinner? 360 00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:19,266 -Okay. -What are you in the mood for? 361 00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:21,283 Whatever you're in the mood for. 362 00:17:21,316 --> 00:17:23,150 Well, I could go for a burger. 363 00:17:23,183 --> 00:17:25,116 Really? You couldn't go for Chinese? 364 00:17:27,183 --> 00:17:29,383 I could go for Chinese. 365 00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,133 You too? 366 00:17:34,316 --> 00:17:36,350 -I'll be right back. -Okay. 367 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:41,000 I love you. 368 00:17:41,433 --> 00:17:43,450 You're the best husband 369 00:17:43,483 --> 00:17:46,283 in the whole wide world. 370 00:17:47,466 --> 00:17:49,300 But I'm a person who needs people. 371 00:17:51,383 --> 00:17:54,216 And in about 10 minutes, 372 00:17:54,250 --> 00:17:58,400 I am going to be one of the luckiest people in the world. 373 00:18:10,116 --> 00:18:12,100 [music playing] 374 00:18:14,333 --> 00:18:16,200 Hello, gorgeous. 375 00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:19,350 Barbra? 376 00:18:19,383 --> 00:18:20,433 Barbra? 377 00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:23,300 Barbra, can you hear me? 378 00:18:26,330 --> 00:18:27,183 [phone ringing] 379 00:18:29,250 --> 00:18:31,183 -Hello, hello? -[Maxwell]Sweetheart? 380 00:18:31,216 --> 00:18:32,450 Oh, hi, honey. 381 00:18:32,483 --> 00:18:35,350 Uh, are you mad at me because I ran out? 382 00:18:35,383 --> 00:18:38,316 [Maxwell]Not half as mad as you're gonna be with yourself. 383 00:18:39,216 --> 00:18:40,466 Why? 384 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,250 Because when I called home, 385 00:18:42,283 --> 00:18:45,166 I arranged a little surprise for you. 386 00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:49,150 ♪Even our piano 387 00:18:49,183 --> 00:18:52,000 ♪In the parlor 388 00:18:53,150 --> 00:18:55,466 ♪Daddy bought for ten cents 389 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:59,383 ♪On the dollar 390 00:18:59,416 --> 00:19:05,333 [all together] ♪Everyone knows that I'm just Second hand Rose 391 00:19:05,366 --> 00:19:07,330 [singing] 392 00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:09,133 [music playing] 393 00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:14,466 And do you, Maggie, 394 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,330 take Michael to be your lawfully wedded husband? 395 00:19:18,660 --> 00:19:20,150 -I do. -[sobbing] 396 00:19:20,183 --> 00:19:22,200 Oh, Niles, I really wish you could be here. 397 00:19:22,233 --> 00:19:24,466 You should see how beautiful Maggie looks. 398 00:19:26,350 --> 00:19:29,200 Yes, everybody is using the coasters. 399 00:19:29,233 --> 00:19:30,450 Here's Ms. Babcock. 400 00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:34,283 Normally, at this point in the ceremony, 401 00:19:34,316 --> 00:19:36,450 I like to say a few words about the couple 402 00:19:36,483 --> 00:19:39,000 embarking on their life. 403 00:19:39,330 --> 00:19:43,160 But I think the sentiments were best expressed by Barbra 404 00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:46,160 who just last night stood right here 405 00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:49,350 and sang 'What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life?' 406 00:19:55,330 --> 00:19:57,330 She sang that too? 407 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:04,166 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 408 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:05,366 [Sylvia sobbing] 409 00:20:08,830 --> 00:20:10,450 [cheering] 410 00:20:10,483 --> 00:20:13,466 ['Wedding March' playing on piano] 411 00:20:19,233 --> 00:20:23,150 Oh, wasn't it beautiful, Mama? 412 00:20:23,183 --> 00:20:26,160 -Beautiful. -Oh, yes. 413 00:20:27,416 --> 00:20:31,200 Is Barbra's voice as flawless in person? 414 00:20:31,233 --> 00:20:32,466 Well, actually, it was a little tired 415 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,216 after singing the score ofFunny Girl 416 00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:36,183 and six new songs from her next album. 417 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,333 I'm so glad that I'm pregnant. 418 00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:43,500 Why? 419 00:20:43,830 --> 00:20:45,366 It's the only thing that's keeping me from killing myself. 420 00:20:48,216 --> 00:20:52,416 Oh, Val, I am sitting on such a huge secret 421 00:20:52,450 --> 00:20:54,316 for over a week now. 422 00:20:54,350 --> 00:20:57,150 But I cannot tell a living soul. 423 00:20:58,100 --> 00:20:59,660 [sighs] 424 00:21:00,366 --> 00:21:01,400 Good cake. 425 00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:03,300 Val... 426 00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:10,660 -Good cake. -Niles and Ms. Babcock are having an affair. 427 00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:11,830 [gasps] 428 00:21:12,150 --> 00:21:15,383 -With who? -With each other. 429 00:21:17,483 --> 00:21:19,283 I don't know the line. 430 00:21:23,366 --> 00:21:25,300 When are they seeing... When are they... 431 00:21:26,433 --> 00:21:28,183 [man] "So where are they now?" 432 00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:34,433 Oh, God. 433 00:21:34,466 --> 00:21:37,450 [theme music playing] 434 00:21:52,100 --> 00:21:53,416 [theme music ends] 31765

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