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[grunting]
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What are you doing?
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We're arm wrestling to see who gets your room.
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Niles, she's a little girl.
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[sobs] You're hurting me.
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Oh, I'm sorry.
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Ow!
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Sucker.
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Meanwhile, you're so busy deciding who gets my room
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where am I supposed to sleep?
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Well, Fran, once you're married you'll move in with Daddy.
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Oh, my God.
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This just keeps getting better and better.
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Oh, there's my adorable new roommate now.
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-Morning, darling. -You know, sweetie
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last night, you didn't give me that little something
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that I'm used to getting from you every week.
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Oh, Fran, since we got engaged
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I didn't think I had to give it you anymore.
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Wait. I know what I'm talking about.
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-What are you talking about? -Your paycheck.
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Oh, thank God. That's what I'm talking about, too.
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But honey, even though we're getting married, I still wanna work.
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We have always been a two-income family.
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Yes, dear, but your income always came out of my income.
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I still wanna have a career.
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I don't wanna be one of those wives that just sits around
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having lunch with the girls, or shopping
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or getting their hair done.
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All right, well, you know what?
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Maybe I'll try it for a couple of weeks.
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[theme song playing]
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♪She was working In a bridal shop In Flushing, Queens
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♪Till her boyfriend Kicked her out
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♪In one of those Crushing scenes
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♪What was she to do? Where was she to go?
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♪She was out on her fanny
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♪So over the bridge From Flushing To the Sheffield's door
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♪She was there to sell make-up But the father saw more
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♪She had style! She had flair! She was there!
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♪That's how she became The Nanny
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♪Who would have guessed That the girl we described
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♪Was just exactly What the doctor prescribed?
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♪Now, the father Finds her beguiling
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♪Watch out C.C.!
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♪And the kids Are actually smiling
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♪Such joie de vivre
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♪She's the lady in red
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♪When everybody else Is wearing tan
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♪The flashy girl From Flushing
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♪The Nanny named Fran!
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[music playing]
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C.C., I'm going through these wedding responses
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and I see that you've only R.S.V.P.-ed for one.
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You sure you don't want to bring a guest with you?
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Well, I thought I might go with you.
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Is that inappropriate?
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Well, I am marrying Fran. I thought I might sit with her.
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Of course. You think I'm serious?
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Can I catch a ride with you guys?
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Maxwell, I have two very important things
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to talk to you about the wedding.
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I say we honeymoon in the Caribbean
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and we don't leave our suite for 36 hours.
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Wow, I was thinking kishka or potato,
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but your way is good, too.
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Maxwell, will you get off this damn wedding!
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We are on a deadline for this musical.
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Maybe we should just cancel it.
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C.C., we have investors we have to answer to.
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I meant the wedding.
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You know, C.C., I am a little concerned about this whole idea
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of us producing an urban rap musical in the first place.
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We're not exactly cutting edge, are we?
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Oh, come on. Who is more cutting edge than you?
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Who is the one that thought of putting Charles Nelson Reilly
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and Rip Taylor inLove Letters
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Ooh, in love!
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Nanny Fine, we have work to do.
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Now he may belong to you in every other room in this house
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but in this room, he is mine!
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-C.C., would you give us a minute? -Okay!
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[music playing]
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Ma, put the rosette down.
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It's plaster.
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You wanna scrape your esophagus again?
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Miss Fine, Mrs. Fine.
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-Welcome, welcome. -Hi.
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I'm Dirk, your wedding coordinator.
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And may I say, we are honored that you selected us
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for the Fine-Sheffield reception.
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It's truly the wedding of the century.
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Well, it took nearly that long to happen.
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Now, Dirk, I just wanna tell you,
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ours is a mixed marriage.
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He's from drinkers, we're from eaters,
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so let's plan the menu accordingly.
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Oh, fun, fun, funny, fun, fun.
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Now, may I suggest, as your guests arrive
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we wow them with an ice sculpture of the Trevi Fountain.
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-Oh! -Oh!
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A fountain sounds nice,
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but can they make it out of chopped liver?
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Oh, challenge, challenge, challenge.
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I love it. I love it.
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Okay, now we have over 75 hors d'oeuvres to choose from.
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Would you like to taste them, or would you trust me--
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-[both] Taste. -Okay.
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Assistant! Assistant!
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Oh. [clears throat] I'm working with a new person. Forgive me.
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Look at me, I'm like Regis without Kathie Lee.
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Ma, you know, I have a little problem I need to talk to you about.
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Mr. Sheffield doesn't want me to work anymore.
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And the conundrum would be...
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I mean, it's not as if I'm not gonna be busy enough
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performing my wifely duties
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and God knows I've had that stored up for five years.
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Who's gonna have the energy to work?
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But still, I wanna feel like I contribute something to the marriage.
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Oh, sure you will. You're his partner in life.
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You're the woman behind the man.
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Help him. Support him.
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Be there for him.
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Never refuse him.
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You get me?
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Yeah, I get you. You're talking about dinner, right?
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What else is there?
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Now, would it be too presumptuous to ask about the releasing of the doves?
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Oh, no doves. There's no meat on them.
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[music playing]
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You call this a wedding menu?
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Ceviche, sashimi, squid?
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Who the heck is the chef, Jules Verne?
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The seating plan is a nightmare.
135
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I've got a lord, a lady and a countess
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sitting next to a Cookie, an Izzy, and a Schmooey.
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We're back. Sammy, Yetta,
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we're leaving in an hour.
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So start putting on your coats...
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now.
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-Uh, Fran. -Yeah?
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Before we hit the road,
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I have a favor to ask of you.
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Do you think Mr. Sheffield could get my grandson a job on Broadway?
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Oh, I don't know, Sammy.
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I mean, I really don't like to interfere
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in Maxwell's business.
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[all] Since when?
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Since I got a lot more than six bucks an hour to lose.
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Oh, he's a brilliant rapper.
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A great artist.
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Last December,
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uh, he rapped for Puff Daddy.
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Oh! A brilliant rap artist?
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Oh, Ma. Ma, come here.
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Did you hear that? This is my opportunity.
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Maxwell is producing a rap musical.
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It's all about violent gangs
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that fight in the street and every so often
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stop to sing poignantly about it.
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Well, darling, here's your chance.
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What are you waiting for?
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Now you can be the woman behind the man.
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You know where your father would be today
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if I hadn't pushed him?
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Not collecting disability?
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Well, Ty, you can rest easily tonight.
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Yes, I have found the perfect star for your rap musical.
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Mm-hmm. Oh, he's fresh off the streets,
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he's talented, he's dynamic.
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You can see for yourself Tuesday night.
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Have you found someone yet?
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Make that Wednesday night.
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Oh, God, I knew this was a mistake to try and do this musical.
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Maxwell, you know what you need? You need a break.
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Why don't you and I charter a yacht
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and just sail down to St. Barths.
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C.C., that's where I'm taking Fran for our honeymoon.
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Well, doesn't Miss Special get to do everything!
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Oh, Maxwell,
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I have found the perfect star for your new musical.
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It's a relative of mine.
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Nanny Fine, no one wants to hear your relative speak,
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let alone sing.
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Darling, you shouldn't go worrying your pretty little head
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with all our business.
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No, you should be busy planning our wedding.
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Are you patronizing me?
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No, no, baby.
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No, of course not.
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Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Why won't you let me help you?
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I mean, it's not as if I've ever screwed up...
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Okay, switching gears.
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My guy Irwin rapped with Puff Daddy.
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-Really? -That's right.
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Well, he turned us down.
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He didn't think we were hip enough for him.
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Oh, no, don't tell me you bored him
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with that Mary Martin trivia.
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Well, a lot of people don't know she's Larry Hagman's mother.
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C.C., look, maybe it's worth a chance.
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Maybe this Irwin has some talent.
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Maxwell, our entire professional reputation
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is resting on the expertise of a woman
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who thinks The Importance of Being Earnest
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is the sequel toErnest Scared Stupid!
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Well, it's not like we've done any better, is it?
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Besides, maybe Fran has exactly what we need.
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Whoa! Now just wait a minute.
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This is business and business is my turf!
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-No, I want to go with her guy. -Okay!
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Oh, are you still upset about the wedding?
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I have something that'll cheer you up.
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Single girls, gather round.
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Listen, I still have a chance with Maxwell
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as long as I am his business partner
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and I am in this house every single day.
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Yes, and why should you lose your job?
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I mean, it's not as though she's in there
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with some brilliant casting idea.
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Come on. That won't break up your partnership.
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When Yoko married John, did that break up The Beatles?
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[music playing]
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Fran, I know that this is last minute,
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but can I bring a date to the wedding?
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He's really cute.
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[gasps] Does he have a brother?
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Force of habit. I got to stop that.
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Sure, sweetie.
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-[bell dings] -Ooh!
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That's Sammy's grandson,
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the future star of your father's new musical,
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thanks to me.
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But I don't want to toot my own horn.
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Beep, beep.
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Oh, hi, Sammy. I didn't know you were coming.
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Well, somebody had to drive Irwin.
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Well, where is he?
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Hi. I'm Irwin.
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Hi. I'm scared.
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Do you always dress that way to sing
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or were you just audited?
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I don't sing
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and I don't make enough to get audited.
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What do you mean you don't sing?
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Your grandfather told me that you're a great rapper.
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Oh, I'm the best, I'm the best.
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You got Scotch tape, paper, and a ribbon?
249
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You're a gift-wrapper?
250
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Sammy, why did you tell me that he rapped for Puff Daddy?
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Well, he did last Christmas.
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Yeah. Puff likes lots of bows and those little plastic Santas.
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Who cares!
254
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Why did you tell your grandfather
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that you wanted to work on Broadway?
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Well, I live on 8th Avenue. I figured I could just walk.
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[music playing]
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[music playing]
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Sammy, do you realize that Mr. Sheffield
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has one of the most important composers on Broadway
261
00:12:23,183 --> 00:12:25,166
coming here to listen to a gift-wrapper
262
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,166
from Crate and Barrel?
263
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,330
Pottery Barn. We were first.
264
00:12:33,366 --> 00:12:35,400
Look. It's not the first time that I've screwed up.
265
00:12:35,433 --> 00:12:38,250
What's he going to do? Take back the ring? [gasps]
266
00:12:38,283 --> 00:12:40,133
Give me something salty. I'll bloat.
267
00:12:40,166 --> 00:12:42,330
He'll never get this ring off.
268
00:12:44,116 --> 00:12:47,183
Listen, I don't want to ruin everything for you.
269
00:12:47,216 --> 00:12:50,330
You know, maybe this is a blessing in disguise.
270
00:12:50,660 --> 00:12:52,830
I don't want to be a gift-wrapper all my life.
271
00:12:53,150 --> 00:12:54,483
Maybe I do have some talent.
272
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:57,250
My grand-daddy, he plays the piano and sings great.
273
00:12:57,283 --> 00:12:59,483
Oh, stop, you're making me blush.
274
00:13:02,183 --> 00:13:03,283
Just let me try.
275
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:06,433
Okay, well, what have I got to lose?
276
00:13:06,466 --> 00:13:08,466
Try really hard.
277
00:13:11,316 --> 00:13:15,660
♪Home, home on the range
278
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:18,166
♪Where the deer And the antelope play
279
00:13:19,283 --> 00:13:20,466
-Who's that? -Irwin.
280
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:22,300
Miss Fine!
281
00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:24,830
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
282
00:13:24,116 --> 00:13:26,383
Mr. Sheffield, um, uh...
283
00:13:26,416 --> 00:13:28,200
you know what, I was just thinking.
284
00:13:28,233 --> 00:13:30,316
-Rap is dead. -What are you talking about?
285
00:13:30,350 --> 00:13:32,150
It's the hottest thing on Broadway.
286
00:13:32,183 --> 00:13:35,233
Well, then it must be me that's dead.
287
00:13:35,266 --> 00:13:37,250
Now would you excuse us a minute, please?
288
00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:39,150
I want to see you in my office.
289
00:13:39,183 --> 00:13:41,100
Get something salty! Salty pretzels!
290
00:13:43,330 --> 00:13:44,350
Wait till you meet the mother.
291
00:13:47,166 --> 00:13:50,233
I have a very important composer coming to this house
292
00:13:50,266 --> 00:13:51,483
in less than 24 hours
293
00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:54,660
expecting to meet Puff Daddy's protege.
294
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,466
Well, I never said protege.
295
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,416
That was your embellishment. Bye, now.
296
00:13:57,450 --> 00:13:59,150
Miss Fine!
297
00:13:59,183 --> 00:14:01,366
You're calling me Miss Fine? That can't be a good thing.
298
00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:03,250
Oh.
299
00:14:03,283 --> 00:14:05,333
It's not. Trust me.
300
00:14:05,366 --> 00:14:07,000
Why did I listen to you?
301
00:14:07,330 --> 00:14:09,660
Why did I think things were going to be different
302
00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:10,250
just because we got engaged?
303
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:11,483
Well, first of all,
304
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:13,450
we are still engaged, aren't we?
305
00:14:15,283 --> 00:14:17,216
Oh, now, 'Home, Home On The Range'
306
00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:20,500
happens to be a very complicated number.
307
00:14:20,830 --> 00:14:23,466
That does not mean he isn't an excellent rapper.
308
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,830
So why don't you stop adding gray
309
00:14:26,116 --> 00:14:28,150
to that beautiful head of hair of yours?
310
00:14:30,150 --> 00:14:33,660
He does rap? You're not patronizing me?
311
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,133
No, baby.
312
00:14:38,133 --> 00:14:41,216
No, I can look you straight in the eyes and say
313
00:14:41,250 --> 00:14:44,133
Irwin is one professional wrapper.
314
00:14:46,116 --> 00:14:49,216
Yes, a gift wrapper for Crate and Barrel.
315
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:53,183
Is that true?
316
00:14:53,216 --> 00:14:55,830
No, it is not.
317
00:14:56,333 --> 00:14:58,100
It's Pottery Barn. They were first.
318
00:14:59,183 --> 00:15:01,183
[music playing]
319
00:15:06,660 --> 00:15:09,830
Niles, have you seen Mr. Sheffield?
320
00:15:09,116 --> 00:15:12,216
Oh, I have never seen him this angry at me before.
321
00:15:12,250 --> 00:15:15,330
Well, I have, but not today.
322
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:17,250
I'm not speaking to you.
323
00:15:18,316 --> 00:15:20,300
Why? What did I do to you?
324
00:15:20,333 --> 00:15:22,466
You have ruined our wedding.
325
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,000
For five years, I've been waiting for this day.
326
00:15:25,330 --> 00:15:27,216
What am I going to say to the other butlers in the market?
327
00:15:27,250 --> 00:15:29,466
Do you know what it's like to be the only one in the park
328
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,183
with no wedding pictures to show?
329
00:15:32,466 --> 00:15:34,300
Yes, I do.
330
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:36,183
Well, don't just stand there.
331
00:15:36,216 --> 00:15:39,330
I beat Miss Grace playing hoops and I want your room.
332
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,266
Well, what am I supposed to do?
333
00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:43,366
Turn Irwin into some kind of a street rapper?
334
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,166
I don't know anything about rap.
335
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:46,433
Well, either that or call your mother
336
00:15:46,466 --> 00:15:48,830
and tell her the wedding's off.
337
00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:53,333
Whuzzup, Irwin? It's time to get bomb-biggity.
338
00:15:56,266 --> 00:15:57,266
You go, girl.
339
00:15:58,466 --> 00:16:01,450
[hip-hop music playing]
340
00:16:50,283 --> 00:16:53,183
♪So Mr. Twister Hit him with her Fame's M.C.'s quicker
341
00:16:53,216 --> 00:16:56,500
♪This is what I picture When tipsy off liquor
342
00:16:56,830 --> 00:16:58,350
♪Sitting thinking of a style Like no other
343
00:16:58,383 --> 00:17:01,450
♪Honk and run for cover Dipping in my Hummer
344
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:05,266
And so.
345
00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:07,830
Thank you, Blue.
346
00:17:07,116 --> 00:17:10,100
Oh, excellent. Really. Truly, excellent.
347
00:17:10,133 --> 00:17:12,483
Well, I'll be getting in touch with your, uh, posse.
348
00:17:16,150 --> 00:17:17,300
No, no, no, no.
349
00:17:17,333 --> 00:17:20,250
Why can't I express to you what I'm looking for?
350
00:17:20,283 --> 00:17:22,333
It's in the rhythm, Max, the rhythm.
351
00:17:22,366 --> 00:17:25,416
You see, I see things in geometric shapes.
352
00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:32,200
This is what I want.
353
00:17:34,116 --> 00:17:36,330
You know, bring me this guy.
354
00:17:36,366 --> 00:17:38,660
Uh, yes.
355
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:40,400
Uh, can't get him. He's in Ragtime.
356
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,500
So is that it? Is that all of them?
357
00:17:45,830 --> 00:17:47,416
What about the guy you hyped on the phone?
358
00:17:47,450 --> 00:17:50,416
Well, you know, he turned out to be a bust.
359
00:17:50,450 --> 00:17:54,266
He was discovered by Maxwell's nanny slash fiancée
360
00:17:54,300 --> 00:17:56,466
slash back to nanny again.
361
00:17:58,333 --> 00:18:01,333
Listen, Ty, if you can see your way to give us a few more days,
362
00:18:01,366 --> 00:18:03,333
I know there has to be another
363
00:18:03,366 --> 00:18:05,250
him in this town.
364
00:18:05,283 --> 00:18:07,133
I'm sorry, Max, but, uh...
365
00:18:08,233 --> 00:18:10,216
I don't think we're on the same page.
366
00:18:10,250 --> 00:18:12,483
[hip-hop music playing]
367
00:18:14,330 --> 00:18:15,283
♪You can try to throw salt
368
00:18:15,316 --> 00:18:17,500
♪But I keep my game face on
369
00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:18,316
♪And the only thing On your mind
370
00:18:18,350 --> 00:18:19,416
♪Is stalking more digits Than a telephone
371
00:18:19,450 --> 00:18:20,450
♪Me and thirty-nine thieves
372
00:18:20,483 --> 00:18:22,366
♪Jumping out of white Hummer
373
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,283
♪From Compton While your crew Get dumb and dumber
374
00:18:24,316 --> 00:18:27,160
♪Grew up Straight out of low cash Like C.B. fo'
375
00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:30,000
♪Now I got dough And you got one night stands Like gangsta, yo
376
00:18:30,330 --> 00:18:32,100
♪See on the low It's all gravy
377
00:18:32,133 --> 00:18:35,160
♪But the threat Of this new world order Is about to drive me crazy
378
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:37,116
♪And all you want Is the Lex and gold Visa
379
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:39,366
♪And bomb singles And stacking your chips Like Pringles
380
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,400
♪While my rhymes Jack for platinum plaques
381
00:18:41,433 --> 00:18:44,350
♪Quicker than one time Jack Blacks I twist sacks and sip yac
382
00:18:44,383 --> 00:18:47,200
♪Plus the Invisible Man Got my back like a spine
383
00:18:47,233 --> 00:18:49,200
♪So why you all up in mine?
384
00:18:49,233 --> 00:18:52,330
♪Keep the money and the fame Because all I really Want to hold
385
00:18:52,660 --> 00:18:54,416
♪Is my artistic freedom And control of my soul
386
00:18:54,450 --> 00:18:56,000
Bravo.
387
00:19:02,316 --> 00:19:05,400
The guy's great. What are you saving the best for last?
388
00:19:05,433 --> 00:19:07,333
Yes, he was
389
00:19:07,366 --> 00:19:09,483
because that's his style.
390
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:13,330
Slow to the point of madness
391
00:19:13,660 --> 00:19:15,400
and then he proposes.
392
00:19:15,433 --> 00:19:18,433
Well, Ty, why don't we step into my office and talk some business, huh?
393
00:19:18,466 --> 00:19:21,316
-Fran, why don't you bring Irwin along. -Okay.
394
00:19:21,350 --> 00:19:24,266
-Oh, Irwin. Irwin. -I'm so excited.
395
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:28,100
Fran, this is so phat, Fran.
396
00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:30,450
Oh, Irwin, I know that phat is a good thing,
397
00:19:30,483 --> 00:19:32,416
but please don't say it so near to my name.
398
00:19:40,133 --> 00:19:42,000
Well, Niles.
399
00:19:42,483 --> 00:19:44,300
I guess I know where I stand.
400
00:19:45,383 --> 00:19:47,266
Outside the door.
401
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,660
Well, at least it's over.
402
00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:53,300
The pain.
403
00:19:53,333 --> 00:19:55,500
The degradation.
404
00:19:56,660 --> 00:19:57,283
The shame.
405
00:20:00,250 --> 00:20:01,250
I'm frightened.
406
00:20:04,250 --> 00:20:06,150
I don't want to be alone.
407
00:20:09,116 --> 00:20:11,116
Well, you finally went crackers.
408
00:20:17,266 --> 00:20:19,416
Yes, hello, Dr. Balk. This is Niles.
409
00:20:19,450 --> 00:20:21,400
Yes, it's about Miss Babcock.
410
00:20:21,433 --> 00:20:23,416
Yes, well, I think we have a little problem.
411
00:20:23,450 --> 00:20:26,450
She's behaving in a very strange way.
412
00:20:26,483 --> 00:20:29,500
Well, I wouldn't call it delusional.
413
00:20:29,830 --> 00:20:31,330
Grandmama, is that you?
414
00:20:33,316 --> 00:20:35,133
Yes, child. Maybe I would.
415
00:20:37,183 --> 00:20:38,416
Come along.
416
00:20:38,450 --> 00:20:41,433
[music playing]
417
00:20:45,660 --> 00:20:46,483
Come on, Chester. Yes.
418
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,160
-Hi, Chester. -There you go.
419
00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:51,000
Hi, sweetie.
420
00:20:51,330 --> 00:20:53,450
Fran, this fun. How long do we get to keep Chester here?
421
00:20:53,483 --> 00:20:55,316
Oh, until Miss Babcock is released...
422
00:20:55,350 --> 00:20:57,133
I mean comes home.
423
00:20:58,383 --> 00:21:01,500
Yeah, you mean, from her vacation?
424
00:21:01,830 --> 00:21:02,366
Uh-huh.
425
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,133
You know, it's really so funny.
426
00:21:04,166 --> 00:21:06,200
Usually when a pet misses its master,
427
00:21:06,233 --> 00:21:09,100
it's really depressed and walks around whimpering.
428
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:11,383
Hey.
429
00:21:18,100 --> 00:21:19,400
-Frannie. -Oh. Hi, kids.
430
00:21:19,433 --> 00:21:23,266
Sammy has a niece that wants to sing at your wedding.
431
00:21:23,300 --> 00:21:25,283
Oh, I'm sorry, Sammy,
432
00:21:25,316 --> 00:21:27,283
but Maxwell has a new policy.
433
00:21:27,316 --> 00:21:29,233
No more relatives.
434
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,000
Okay, Aretha, she said no.
435
00:21:33,330 --> 00:21:35,216
Aretha? Aretha?
436
00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:38,330
Call her back! Call her back!
437
00:21:38,660 --> 00:21:41,116
-You want her? -Yes! Wait till Maxwell hears.
438
00:21:44,660 --> 00:21:45,200
Uh, D.M.V.
439
00:21:46,150 --> 00:21:47,450
Aretha Jones, please.
440
00:21:48,333 --> 00:21:51,316
[music playing]
441
00:22:01,100 --> 00:22:04,830
[theme music playing]
442
00:22:18,266 --> 00:22:20,830
[music playing]
32964
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