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Maxwell, I have found the perfect subject
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for our one-person play.
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Your sex life.
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Oh, Niles, I didn't recognize you.
5
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Wait. Stand in Maxwell's shadow.
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C.C., I've told you, I'm really not very keen
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on the idea of a one-person show.
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Oh, Maxwell, come on.
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It's a sure thing. It's cheap, it's easy--
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And still he won't ask me out on a second date.
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Would you change your mind
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if the star of this one-person show
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were Chevy Chase?
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Oh, my God, I love Chevy Chase.
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I have seen every one of his movies.
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Vacation, European Vacation, uh,Vegas Vacation.
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He is very versatile.
18
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Well, it's certainly true. He's very popular.
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Uh, all right, C.C., I'll tell you what,
20
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-why don't you run with it? -Oh, Great!
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He's playing in Atlantic City this weekend.
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I'll set up a meeting for us.
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I love Atlantic City!
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You know, Ma just gave me a coupon,
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you can get a complete prime rib dinner for 17 cents.
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Seventeen cents?
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Well, it comes with a fine Chablis.
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-Nanny Fine. -Yeah?
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Why don't you fry up a Sizzlean and whip out the Monopoly game
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'cause that's as close to the Boardwalk
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as you're getting.
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Miss Fine, what Miss Babcock is trying to tell you,
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in her own delicate way,
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is that this is her strictly a business trip.
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Yep.
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That's fine. I've got a date Saturday night, anyway.
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A date?
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Yeah. He's a very nice looking guy.
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No gray hair, so...
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Oh, ah!
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I just realized, of course,
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you're gonna have to come to Atlantic City
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to take care of the children.
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Maxwell, this is my project. I am in charge.
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And there aren't gonna be any children
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and there's certainly not gonna be any butler.
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Well, I want the children to come.
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Okay.
49
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-And I'll need a butler. -Fabulous.
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Good.
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It's all settled then.
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Niles, you make the arrangements.
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Ms. Fine, you'll have to cancel that date.
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Fine.
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Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
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Hello, George Clooney? Yeah, Saturday's off.
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♪ She was working in a bridal shop ♪
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♪ in Flushing, Queens ♪
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♪ Til her boyfriend kicked her out ♪
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♪ In one of those crushing scenes ♪
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♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪
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♪ She was out on her fanny ♪
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♪ So over the bridge from Flushing ♪
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♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪
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♪ She was there to sell make up but the father saw more ♪
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♪ She had style, she had flair she was there ♪
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♪ That's how she became ♪
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♪ The Nanny ♪
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♪ Who would have guessed that the girl we described ♪
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♪ Was just exactly what the doctor prescribed? ♪
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♪ Now, the father finds her beguiling ♪
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♪ Watch out C.C., ♪
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♪ And the kids are actually smiling ♪
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♪ Such♪
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♪ She's the lady in red ♪
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♪ When everybody else is wearing tan ♪
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♪ The flashy girl from Flushing ♪
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♪ The Nanny named Fran ♪
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Welcome to Trump's Taj Mahal Resort and Casino.
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Ah! Would you look at all this glitz!
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Stunning.
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May I have your last name, sir?
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Good luck, I've been waiting five years for it.
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Oh, now, that's a real woman.
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Not the parts you're looking at, honey.
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So are you here for the casino or for the shows?
87
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Oh, actually, I'm here to take care of the children.
88
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That's my job.
89
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Oh, why the sour puss?
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You're in a hotel, full of drunken men.
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Who've been up gambling for 72 hours.
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You could get lucky.
93
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You think?
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Anyway, when I go home tonight,
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and I'm relaxing and lying in my Jacuzzi,
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testing some wines with my wife, Marv,
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I will be thanking the Lord
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that none of you know where I live.
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Thank you and good night. Thank you.
100
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Uh-oh!
101
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How is he hysterical?
102
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I'm so sorry that Niles is missing this.
103
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Where is Niles, anyway?
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He said he didn't feel well.
105
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He went up to his room. He thought he had a temperature.
106
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Ooo, I'm hot. Come on, seven. Come to papa.
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Seven, seven, seven.
108
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-Seventeen is the number. -No.
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-Yes. -No.
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Don't touch the wheel, sir.
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-This game is rigged. -Security!
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Kidding. Kidding.
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I just can't get over what a riot
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that Chevy Chase is.
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You know, I've had a crush on him sinceSaturday Night Live.
116
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Miss Fine, weren't you little too young to be watching that?
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Well, not if you consider...
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three young.
119
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Excuse me, ma'am.
120
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The gentleman you've been sending the drinks to all night,
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he said he's had enough.
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I'll be the judge of that.
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Oh! Hi. I'm Fran Fine.
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-Chevy, you were so incredible. -Thank you.
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Maxwell Sheffield.
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It's a pleasure to meet you, Chevy.
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Mr. Chase is good.
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What a sense of humor.
129
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No, I'm serious.
130
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But how come you let her call you Chevy?
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Well actually, she called me, "Chevy, you were so incredible"
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which happens to be my full name.
133
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Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow at the casino
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and we'll talk about the show.
135
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-Okay, thank you, Chevy -All right.
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-...you're so incredible. -All right.
137
00:06:18,450 --> 00:06:21,216
Uh-oh, I think, I just felt someone's lips.
138
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Right here.
139
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Good night. Nice meeting you, Mitch.
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Maxwell.
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Oh, B, B, B, have you seen Niles anywhere?
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-Nope -Well, wait a minute.
143
00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:41,466
Where're you off to?
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To a show.
145
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What kind of show?
146
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Oh, you know, some craft show called...
147
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uh, uh...
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String and Paste.
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-String and Paste? -Mm-hmm, Yeah, String and Paste.
150
00:06:55,300 --> 00:06:56,450
Let me see that.
151
00:06:59,116 --> 00:07:01,283
"G-strings and pasties"?
152
00:07:01,316 --> 00:07:03,200
I thought it was a typo.
153
00:07:03,233 --> 00:07:05,400
Yeah, well, how did you expect to even get into this?
154
00:07:05,433 --> 00:07:07,200
What do you have, a fake ID?
155
00:07:07,233 --> 00:07:09,483
Yeah, I went to the guy that took 10 years off your license.
156
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It cost me 15 bucks.
157
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I am horrified.
158
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I paid 25.
159
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Let me see yours.
160
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Oh, now I know why mine cost more.
161
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Mine's laminated.
162
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It doesn't tear.
163
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Go see Muppets On Ice.
164
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Bye.
165
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Niles, have you been up gambling all night?
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Leave me alone. I won a hundred dollars.
167
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Well, how much did you put in?
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Three hundred dollars.
169
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Oh, Niles, after all the money that you lost on the cruise,
170
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I can't believe, you haven't learned your lesson.
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-Give me your wallet. -Oh, no, I'm a mature, responsible adult.
172
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That's not fair.
173
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:03,416
The Wilsons let their butler gamble.
174
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You're such a meanie. I hate you.
175
00:08:06,133 --> 00:08:08,250
Oh, well, now, Mr. Smart-mouth,
176
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you can just march yourself upstairs and go to bed.
177
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Go ahead. You know you can't win at these things.
178
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Everything you make you put back in.
179
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What's the matter with you?
180
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[clanking]
181
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-[beeping and clinking] -Oh, oh, oh!
182
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I won, I won, I won. I won, I won, I won.
183
00:08:50,183 --> 00:08:52,316
Honey, you wanna get me an Apricot Sour
184
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and make it sweet?
185
00:09:02,316 --> 00:09:03,433
Um, excuse me.
186
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Um, my daddy's in the shower
187
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and I just locked myself out of our room.
188
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Thank you.
189
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Good girl, sweetie.
190
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Okay, hold on to my stuff
191
00:09:25,333 --> 00:09:29,330
and I'm gonna go in and get Niles' wallet back.
192
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Okay, I copped a conditioner and a couple of mints.
193
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The torch has been passed.
194
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Come on, three cherries. Come to Papa.
195
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-[dinging] -Oh, whee!
196
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Whee!
197
00:10:10,266 --> 00:10:12,830
Whee!
198
00:10:12,116 --> 00:10:13,266
Whee!
199
00:10:16,266 --> 00:10:18,350
No, you don't have a gambling problem.
200
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:25,266
Wait, now, where is your wallet?
201
00:10:26,316 --> 00:10:27,383
I'll just get it.
202
00:10:27,416 --> 00:10:29,116
[Niles] Mm-mm. Mm-mm!
203
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Mmm!
204
00:10:55,333 --> 00:10:58,116
You keep your wallet in your front pocket, don't you?
205
00:11:04,483 --> 00:11:07,216
Mmm! I'm getting lucky.
206
00:11:27,150 --> 00:11:30,500
-Hi, Chevy. -Twenty-one.
207
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Twenty-nine but thank you.
208
00:11:33,250 --> 00:11:34,266
Player wins.
209
00:11:35,150 --> 00:11:36,200
How you doing?
210
00:11:36,233 --> 00:11:39,830
A lot better now. You like to gamble?
211
00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:41,233
Well, I'm betting everything I got
212
00:11:41,266 --> 00:11:44,250
on a guy that took four years to ask me on a first date,
213
00:11:44,283 --> 00:11:47,160
so I guess that would qualify me as a--
214
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,116
Sucker?
215
00:11:48,150 --> 00:11:49,133
Yeah.
216
00:11:50,333 --> 00:11:53,660
-Player wins again. -Thank you very much.
217
00:11:55,166 --> 00:11:57,830
You know you have a beautiful face?
218
00:11:57,116 --> 00:11:58,400
Have you ever thought about acting?
219
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[nasally laugh]
220
00:12:00,150 --> 00:12:01,250
Are you deaf?
221
00:12:01,283 --> 00:12:02,450
Player wins again.
222
00:12:02,483 --> 00:12:04,350
Ah!
223
00:12:06,830 --> 00:12:07,350
Hey, you're bringing me luck, Fran.
224
00:12:07,383 --> 00:12:09,830
Thank you.
225
00:12:09,116 --> 00:12:11,450
Hey, I'm having a very big poker game in my room tonight.
226
00:12:11,483 --> 00:12:13,183
I sure could use you by my side.
227
00:12:13,216 --> 00:12:15,400
Oh, wow! Chevy, you know,
228
00:12:15,433 --> 00:12:18,660
I'm a nanny, so my first responsibility
229
00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:20,660
really is to find a sitter.
230
00:12:21,133 --> 00:12:23,150
Hello, Che-- Mr. Chase.
231
00:12:23,183 --> 00:12:25,266
-Hi there, Billy. -Maxwell.
232
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:27,250
So, is this a good time to discuss the play?
233
00:12:27,283 --> 00:12:29,133
No.
234
00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:30,450
How about this evening?
235
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:33,200
I'm afraid I'm spending the evening with your beautiful nanny.
236
00:12:34,216 --> 00:12:36,283
Maybe you'll even get lucky.
237
00:12:37,216 --> 00:12:38,116
I'm counting on it.
238
00:12:44,416 --> 00:12:47,116
[snoring]
239
00:12:48,333 --> 00:12:50,116
[knocking]
240
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[Maxwell] Niles.
241
00:12:51,283 --> 00:12:53,330
Niles, wake up!
242
00:12:53,660 --> 00:12:55,160
Wake up, old man. We have to talk.
243
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[continues snoring]
244
00:13:02,330 --> 00:13:04,216
Niles, Miss Babcock's moving in with us.
245
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:05,350
Why?
246
00:13:08,116 --> 00:13:11,350
Niles, hypothetical question.
247
00:13:11,383 --> 00:13:14,133
Let's say someone's down in the casino
248
00:13:14,166 --> 00:13:16,200
and they ask a certain nanny,
249
00:13:16,233 --> 00:13:18,250
if she would spend the night with him.
250
00:13:18,283 --> 00:13:23,400
And she tells him, "Oh, he could get lucky."
251
00:13:23,433 --> 00:13:28,100
-What do you think that means? -Congratulations, sir!
252
00:13:28,133 --> 00:13:31,266
Finally, after four years.
253
00:13:31,300 --> 00:13:32,383
You know, to tell you the truth,
254
00:13:32,416 --> 00:13:34,333
I was beginning to think you were a big weenie.
255
00:13:36,300 --> 00:13:38,216
Not me, you idiot!
256
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:39,366
Chevy Chase!
257
00:13:40,316 --> 00:13:42,330
I presume I'm fired?
258
00:13:43,350 --> 00:13:46,830
Just go ahead and give me my severance pay.
259
00:13:46,116 --> 00:13:47,316
Preferably in five dollar chips.
260
00:13:52,383 --> 00:13:54,150
-Oh! -Oh, wow!
261
00:13:54,183 --> 00:13:56,383
Look at this from Chevy Chase.
262
00:13:56,416 --> 00:13:58,216
It's that beautiful dress
263
00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:00,433
that I saw downstairs in the boutique,
264
00:14:00,466 --> 00:14:04,450
that I wanted to wear tonight. But how did he know?
265
00:14:04,483 --> 00:14:07,166
Because you took him into the boutique and you said,
266
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,116
"This is the dress I wanna wear tonight."
267
00:14:12,283 --> 00:14:15,330
But how did he pick up on the subtlety?
268
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:21,366
"Dear Fran. Meet me in front of the baccarat room at 11."
269
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:24,166
He wants to buy me crystal.
270
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,660
That's sweet.
271
00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:28,483
"Then up to my suite for the game."
272
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:29,433
[knocking on door]
273
00:14:29,466 --> 00:14:31,216
-Miss Fine? -What?
274
00:14:31,250 --> 00:14:32,450
Give me back my wallet.
275
00:14:32,483 --> 00:14:36,300
No, you are a compulsive gambler and I will not be your enabler.
276
00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:38,200
If you give it back, I'll tell you something
277
00:14:38,233 --> 00:14:41,330
about Mr. Sheffield that you really want to know.
278
00:14:43,166 --> 00:14:45,830
All right fair enough, tell me what you got,
279
00:14:45,116 --> 00:14:46,216
I'll tell you where your wallet is.
280
00:14:46,250 --> 00:14:48,316
Mr. Sheffield is insanely jealous
281
00:14:48,350 --> 00:14:49,466
that you are spending the night
282
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,266
with Chevy Chase and thinks that you are going
283
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:53,266
to end up in bed together.
284
00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:56,350
He's insanely jealous.
285
00:14:56,383 --> 00:14:58,366
I bet, I know, where he got that idea--
286
00:14:58,400 --> 00:14:59,466
The wallet, baby. The wallet.
287
00:15:02,366 --> 00:15:04,160
Well, I'll give you a hint.
288
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:06,216
I gave it to somebody that's really gonna enjoy having
289
00:15:06,250 --> 00:15:08,830
this power over you.
290
00:15:08,350 --> 00:15:09,283
Babcock.
291
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,466
Next time someone asks for an extra Twinkie in their lunch,
292
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,283
we'll see who gives me attitude.
293
00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:19,483
[chuckling]
294
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:22,250
Fran, I can't believe that Dad is jealous
295
00:15:22,283 --> 00:15:23,366
of you and Chevy Chase.
296
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:26,830
Well, honey, just don't make it worse
297
00:15:26,116 --> 00:15:28,183
by telling your father that Chevy got me
298
00:15:28,216 --> 00:15:30,333
this really expensive, sexy gown.
299
00:15:30,366 --> 00:15:34,216
And that I'm gonna be in his room tonight at 11:15.
300
00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:36,216
-Well, I wasn't gonna-- -Yeah, you were.
301
00:15:44,233 --> 00:15:47,500
Hi, Gracie. How's the babysitter?
302
00:15:47,830 --> 00:15:51,200
No, that's not really Diana Ross.
303
00:15:51,233 --> 00:15:55,150
No, he's in the show here at the hotel.
304
00:15:55,183 --> 00:15:57,330
Meanwhile, is your father on his way up?
305
00:15:57,433 --> 00:15:58,466
Did he seem upset?
306
00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:00,200
Oh!
307
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,830
How awful.
308
00:16:02,116 --> 00:16:04,250
Okay, good night, sweetie. I love you.
309
00:16:14,483 --> 00:16:16,183
-Niles. Niles. -Not now, sir,
310
00:16:16,216 --> 00:16:18,333
Miss Babcock has my wallet and I can't find her anywhere.
311
00:16:18,366 --> 00:16:21,660
No, Niles, Miss Fine is in there with Chevy Chase right now.
312
00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:24,483
But, sir, a Lucky Seven is paying $110,432.98.
313
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,483
Now, I'm beginning to think you might have something of a gambling problem, old boy.
314
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,333
Oh, nonsense, sir.
315
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:33,366
-Damn. -What?
316
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,233
I just lost the trifecta.
317
00:16:36,250 --> 00:16:37,300
Give me that!
318
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:42,350
[Fran] Oh, Chevy.
319
00:16:43,266 --> 00:16:47,216
Oh, Chevy, I'm so hot.
320
00:16:52,183 --> 00:16:57,000
Ooh, that's some great hand you got there, baby.
321
00:16:59,350 --> 00:17:01,266
Fran, I didn't bring you up here to talk.
322
00:17:03,466 --> 00:17:06,466
I think I'm not quite ready for prime time players,
323
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,000
beginning to take advantage of Miss Fine, right now.
324
00:17:09,330 --> 00:17:10,333
I'll take that bet. What are the odds?
325
00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:15,466
Mmm! Mmm!
326
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,333
Care for a little sweet stuff?
327
00:17:19,450 --> 00:17:21,316
Oh, Fran, take it off.
328
00:17:25,250 --> 00:17:27,366
[Fran chuckling]
329
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,383
Fran, we can't play until you take it off.
330
00:17:31,233 --> 00:17:32,350
Okay.
331
00:17:37,466 --> 00:17:40,366
She's stopped talking. That's a bad sign.
332
00:17:42,333 --> 00:17:45,266
Courage, sir, perhaps she just discovered the mini fridge.
333
00:17:48,116 --> 00:17:49,333
Fran, would you get me a Coke?
334
00:17:50,483 --> 00:17:53,166
Yes. Yes!
335
00:17:54,133 --> 00:17:56,150
Oh, yes, Chevy.
336
00:17:59,383 --> 00:18:02,330
I've gotta get in there.
337
00:18:02,660 --> 00:18:04,100
Here, hold this. Get back. Get back.
338
00:18:05,100 --> 00:18:06,160
Ow!
339
00:18:08,366 --> 00:18:10,466
I bet you I can do that, sir.
340
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,316
Oh, all right. I'll bet you $50. Go on, go on.
341
00:18:13,350 --> 00:18:14,383
Can you spot me the 50?
342
00:18:17,450 --> 00:18:18,416
Here.
343
00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:21,466
[man] It's open.
344
00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:27,233
All right. That's it. I've had it.
345
00:18:27,266 --> 00:18:29,316
She's leaving with me.
346
00:18:29,350 --> 00:18:31,000
Oh!
347
00:18:31,330 --> 00:18:33,250
Now, what in God's name possessed you to--
348
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:40,000
Fold with three queens?
349
00:18:40,330 --> 00:18:42,466
Mr. Sheffield, what are you doing?
350
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,316
Feeling like a huge ass.
351
00:18:45,283 --> 00:18:46,383
Nothing personal.
352
00:18:47,416 --> 00:18:50,216
Well, good night, gentlemen.
353
00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:53,233
-Good night, Chev. -Night, Fran.
354
00:18:58,233 --> 00:19:00,366
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
355
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:04,416
I can't believe you barged in there and carried me out.
356
00:19:04,450 --> 00:19:06,433
It's so '50s.
357
00:19:08,483 --> 00:19:11,160
Luckily, I'm an old-fashioned girl.
358
00:19:12,383 --> 00:19:15,160
Well, I only did it, Miss Fine,
359
00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:17,450
because I was concerned for your welfare.
360
00:19:17,483 --> 00:19:20,250
Oh, you did not. You did it because you thought
361
00:19:20,283 --> 00:19:22,160
that I was in the arms of another man
362
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:24,133
and you got jealous.
363
00:19:24,166 --> 00:19:27,330
Now, why can't you just tell me?
364
00:19:28,283 --> 00:19:31,316
First, you tell me why a gentleman in a sequined gown
365
00:19:31,350 --> 00:19:32,416
is singing Grace to sleep with
366
00:19:32,450 --> 00:19:34,250
"Ain't No Mountain High Enough".
367
00:19:38,333 --> 00:19:39,266
Damn.
368
00:19:47,383 --> 00:19:49,500
Give it to me, Babcock.
369
00:19:51,250 --> 00:19:54,500
-Give what to you? -Don't play coy.
370
00:19:54,830 --> 00:19:56,183
I'm getting what I came for.
371
00:19:56,216 --> 00:19:58,160
I'll tie you down if I have to.
372
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,350
Niles, you animal.
373
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:08,116
I've never seen this side of you.
374
00:20:08,150 --> 00:20:09,183
[grumbling]
375
00:20:11,300 --> 00:20:13,000
What are you doing?
376
00:20:13,330 --> 00:20:15,830
What do you think I'm doing? I'm ransacking your drawers.
377
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:19,333
Well, are you looking for something specific?
378
00:20:19,366 --> 00:20:21,416
I have peignoirs, teddies...
379
00:20:22,383 --> 00:20:24,000
A hand puppet.
380
00:20:26,250 --> 00:20:28,216
I am looking for my wallet.
381
00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:31,330
Oh, Niles.
382
00:20:31,660 --> 00:20:32,366
[squeaky voice] You don't have to pay me.
383
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,300
Well, it's good to be home, uh?
384
00:20:52,333 --> 00:20:54,160
Told you, he'd say that.
385
00:20:56,333 --> 00:20:59,200
[scoffs] You are such a worthless tool.
386
00:20:59,233 --> 00:21:01,450
It's like an embarrassment to have you as a relative.
387
00:21:01,483 --> 00:21:05,000
You are amazing. Verbatim.
388
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:10,216
You know, I don't understand this whole gambling thing.
389
00:21:10,250 --> 00:21:11,316
Look at this.
390
00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:14,830
Chevy sent me a hundred dollars' worth of chips.
391
00:21:14,116 --> 00:21:16,150
I thought, that he was sending me Pringles.
392
00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:22,216
And I'll bet you're relieved it's money and not food.
393
00:21:22,250 --> 00:21:23,266
How long you know me?
394
00:21:27,216 --> 00:21:28,466
You know, I can't believe,
395
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,350
I still don't know if Chevy-- Mr. Chase...
396
00:21:32,366 --> 00:21:36,200
Chevy... is doing my show or not.
397
00:21:36,233 --> 00:21:38,450
Well, you know, if you want, I'd be happy to talk to him.
398
00:21:38,483 --> 00:21:41,433
I mean, we did have quite a rapport going there.
399
00:21:43,283 --> 00:21:46,450
You know, that's not a bad idea. I think I'll give him a call.
400
00:21:46,483 --> 00:21:49,500
See if I can get the two of you together.
401
00:21:49,830 --> 00:21:50,330
Okay.
402
00:21:54,830 --> 00:21:55,200
[imitating beeping]
403
00:21:57,300 --> 00:22:00,466
Chevy, listen, would you like to get together with Miss Fine?
404
00:22:01,333 --> 00:22:04,330
No? Shame.
405
00:22:12,150 --> 00:22:13,400
[theme music playing]
406
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,830
[theme music ends]
28803
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