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Nada.
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Ever since me and Mr. Sheffield started to heat things up,
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we haven't had one minute alone together.
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Open a mouth. Just say, "Go away.
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Leave us alone. We want privacy."
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Go away. Leave us alone. We want privacy.
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There you go.
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-Ah, Miss Fine. -Oh, hi.
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Sylvia, would you mind,
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I'd like some time alone with your daughter.
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There are some Hershey's Kisses under the cushions on the couch.
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Oh, Miss Fine,
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so nice finally to have some time alone together.
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-Yeah. -I've missed you.
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Me, too, you.
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[Sylvia] Which couch?
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The office!
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You were saying?
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I... I know I've been dragging my feet a little with regards to,
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our relationship,
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but I'm gonna change that.
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I think it's time you and I had a date.
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[gasp] Oh, my God. You're asking me out on a date?
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Yes, yes, yes. I was thinking Friday night?
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Oh, I can't. I gotta cook for the Sabbath.
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-Oh, really? -Yeah, right. Where are we going?
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Well, as you know, I've been dying to get
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Elton John to star in my new musical.
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-Yeah. -It so happens, he's invited me
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to the premiere of his new movie, Tantrums & Tiaras.
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Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
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you don't know how happy this makes me.
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Not only have you asked me out on a date,
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but you actually trust me to not be concerned
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that I'm going to embarrass you
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in front of a celebrity.
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Of course.
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♪ She was working in a bridal shop ♪
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♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪
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♪ Til her boyfriend kicked her out ♪
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♪ In one of those crushing scenes ♪
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♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪
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♪ She was out on her fanny ♪
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♪ So over the bridge from Flushing ♪
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♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪
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♪ She was there to sell make up but the father saw more ♪
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♪ She had style, she had flair she was there ♪
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♪ That's how she became ♪
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♪ The Nanny ♪
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♪ Who would have guessed that the girl we described ♪
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♪ Was just exactly what the doctor prescribed? ♪
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♪ Now, the father finds her beguiling ♪
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♪ Watch out C.C., ♪
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♪ And the kids are actually smiling ♪
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♪ Such joie de vivre ♪
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♪ She's the lady in red ♪
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♪ When everybody else is wearing tan ♪
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♪ The flashy girl from Flushing ♪
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♪ The Nanny named Fran ♪
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I just don't understand why Maxwell
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would ask Nanny Fine on a date.
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I should be going to Elton John's dinner, not her.
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I am the one with sophistication.
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I am the one with savvy.
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Why would he pick her over me?
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He doesn't like you!
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Why?
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Oh, Miss Babcock, I would love to help you,
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but ever since the heart attack,
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the one you're partly responsible for,
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I get easily winded.
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I can't speak and work at the same time.
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Well, what am I doing wrong?
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Well, for one thing, you've known him for 25 years
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or half your life,
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and you don't know the names of his children.
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Okay. Good, good.
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Learn kids' names. That's a start.
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You know, this is nice. We're helping each other.
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Well, that's what friends are for.
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You know, there's a very strange fungus in Brighton's shower.
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-Would you mind? -Sure, pal.
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Oh, Niles.
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Do you think Miss Babcock's upset
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that I asked Nanny Fine out on a date?
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Oh, no, sir.
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I'd hate for her to think I didn't like her.
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Wherever would she get that idea?
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I don't know,
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maybe from some big fat butler
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screaming it in her face!
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Oh, stop it!
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I know those are bloody Tic Tacs.
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Sick to death of the whole thing.
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I want the two of you to stop behaving like children.
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Good God, Miss Fine and I
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are the only two around here behaving like adults.
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-It's our first date! -Oh, Fran, this is so exciting!
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Okay, okay. We gotta calm down. I mean, I'm not 16 anymore.
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-But isn't he a babe? -Yes!
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-Look how great our names fit together! -I know!
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Oh, God.
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Oh, boy. That's gonna kill me tomorrow.
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Oh, Val, can you believe this is happening?
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First, he cops a feel on a week that I'm retaining.
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-Is that luck or what? -Wait!
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-Then he lets you remodel. -Yeah.
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-Then he asks you out. -Oh, finally.
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My feet are firmly planted on the ground.
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Now I gotta make sure to speed things up
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before my tuchus is there too.
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Hey, you know, I do isometrics to keep my butt firm.
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You know, I'm doing them right now.
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Get off my bed, Val.
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I tell you, you know what's really going to impress Mr. Sheffield?
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When I tell him at the dinner
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that I have already met Elton John.
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Get out of here. How?
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Well, remember that Sheffield vacation in the south of France
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that I couldn't get out of?
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You mean the one where you told Mr. Sheffield
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if anything happens to Grace, you're the only one with her blood type?
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Uh-huh.
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Well, anyway, Elton was staying at that same hotel.
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I saw him playing tennis and I yelled at him,
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"Yoo-hoo!"
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You always know the perfect thing to say.
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Well, you know, Val,
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when you travel in circles like I do...
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you just get glib.
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Kids, kids, kids! Come in here!
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You're not gonna believe the most incredible thing has happened.
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Your father is taking us
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to a screening of Elton John's new movie
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and then there's a big private dinner party afterwards.
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-Are you serious? -Uh-huh.
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I'm going to Elton John's dinner party?
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No.
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Isn't that great?
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It's just me and your father. It's our first date!
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You're not going and you're not going.
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Everybody that's going to Elton John's private dinner party,
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take one step forward.
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Well, Niles, is everyone ready?
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Maxwell, Margaret, Brighton, Gracie?
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Very good. And...
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And what?
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Oh, for heaven's sake, he's your favorite.
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Little Sidney.
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There are four?
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Oh, right. I know him.
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Yep. Yep, I've seen that face.
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Of course you have.
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[chuckles]
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Niles, are you done with my picture of us with Macaulay Culkin?
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-[door bell ringing] -[humming a tune]
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Sylvia. You look...
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amazing.
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Thank you.
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It's from the Jo Anne Worley collection.
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Ma, how could you wear pants to a formal affair?
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This isn't a gown?
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Oh, and here I am thinking
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I'm looking so sexy with this high slit.
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Hi.
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Oh, this is gonna be such a great night
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and I'm so happy you guys get to share it with me.
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But if I see your faces after the screening, you're dead.
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Because that's when the date kicks in.
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Sweetheart, do you remember the night of your prom when you came home
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with your dress all disheveled
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and your bra sticking out of your purse?
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Yeah.
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Let's hope history repeats itself!
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My God, you look lovely.
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Thank you.
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But it's Fran's night. Compliment her.
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Well, I suppose we should get going.
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Yes, yes. We should.
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Let's go, Margaret, Brighton, Gracie, Sidney!
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You guys go ahead, I'll be out in a minute.
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I just want to check my face. I'll be okay.
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Now I know that we haven't talked since
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John-John went through with the wedding
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but I really love this guy,
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so please help me to make everything go good tonight.
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I suppose a sign that you heard me would be too much to ask?
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Come on, Miss Fine.
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Oh, I'm afraid the limo's a tad crowded
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so you're gonna have to sit on my lap.
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That'll do.
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-I want some popcorn. -I'll take you, Gracie.
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I'll go.
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No, no, no, Miss Fine, Miss Fine. I'll go.
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Remember, you're not my nanny tonight.
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Tonight, you're my date.
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And you're my escort. You see to my needs.
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You do for me.
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-You want something? -Rolo's.
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He doesn't give a rat's patootie if I know the kids' names.
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All he cares about is Nanny Fine.
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You've still got a shot.
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Why else would he ask you to look after Sidney?
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-When did he do that? -You know, in the limo.
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When we stopped for gas.
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Yetta's.
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Well, where is he?
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Oh, dear. I thought he was with you.
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Sidney. Sidney.
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Hey, that's that hotel we stayed at.
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Yeah. Look, there's Elton playing tennis.
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That's where I talked to him. That's where I said, "Yoo-hoo".
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[man]You wanna tell me what happened?
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I just lost my temper.
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This bloody woman at the end of the court
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waving to me, "Yoo-hoo".
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...and, um, it just pissed me off.
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Oh, if Elton finds out that was me
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he's never gonna be in your father's show.
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Your father's gonna be a laughing stock.
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He's going to be totally humiliated.
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This is the worst thing I've ever done to him.
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Why don't you just go home?
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I don't wanna ruin our first date.
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This never would've happened
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if you knew your place with celebrities.
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Ma!
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You have to learn to use decorum.
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Oh, Miss Close...
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I loved you inSunset Boulevard.
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Okay, think. Think!
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I gotta get through that dinner without Elton recognizing me.
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I need a disguise.
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Yetta.
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What?
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When you coming out of there?
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I can't decide whether to vote for Nixon or Kennedy.
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Give me that wig, old woman!
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[clamoring]
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Oh, my God! This is just like...
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Patty Duke and Susan Hayward in theValley of the Dolls.
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You'll have to excuse them.
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They don't know how to act in front of celebrities.
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♪ We'll live like horses ♪
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♪ Free rein
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Elton, Elton. Wonderful film. Wonderful.
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David, first class directing job.
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It must've been quite a challenge
249
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to maintain control of the piece and yet,
250
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you know, allow the vérité style to flow.
251
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Who is this guy?
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He gives a ton of money to the foundation.
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Yes, it was.
254
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So, Maxwell, you didn't come alone tonight, did you?
255
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No Elton. Actually I'm taking the opportunity
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to use this evening as a sort of a first date.
257
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Well, that's very flattering, but you know I'm involved.
258
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Oh!
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Oh, no.
260
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No, no, no. No. She's in the ladies' room.
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And quite a knockout, if I may say.
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Hello.
263
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,366
Here she is now!
264
00:15:58,150 --> 00:16:02,233
Oh, Elton John, I am such a big fan of yours.
265
00:16:02,266 --> 00:16:05,400
Hi, I'm Fran Fine. And that movie!
266
00:16:05,433 --> 00:16:09,300
Tantrums & Tiaras, it's sure to be a classic.
267
00:16:09,333 --> 00:16:11,350
-Fran. -Yeah?
268
00:16:11,383 --> 00:16:13,150
You look awfully familiar.
269
00:16:13,183 --> 00:16:15,660
Have we ever met?
270
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:17,333
No, no, no. That's impossible.
271
00:16:17,366 --> 00:16:21,330
And those glasses. They are fantastic.
272
00:16:21,660 --> 00:16:23,233
-Let me try them on-- -No! No! No!
273
00:16:23,266 --> 00:16:25,000
No, thank you.
274
00:16:25,330 --> 00:16:27,483
-May I see you for a moment? -Yeah, just a sec, honey.
275
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:31,233
Tell me, Elton, whatever happened to that Kiki Dee--
276
00:16:37,316 --> 00:16:39,433
Now I know why she's so familiar.
277
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:42,166
I have that jacket.
278
00:16:45,150 --> 00:16:48,116
All right, will you kindly tell me what the hell is going on?
279
00:16:48,150 --> 00:16:51,160
Why are you in this ridiculous disguise?
280
00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:53,366
Well, I'm not going to tell you because you'll get mad.
281
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:54,366
No, I--
282
00:16:56,333 --> 00:16:57,483
No, I'm not.
283
00:17:00,166 --> 00:17:01,283
See?
284
00:17:07,450 --> 00:17:11,166
You! You're the "yoo-hoo" lady?
285
00:17:15,416 --> 00:17:18,350
You're the raving lunatic everyone's talking about?
286
00:17:18,383 --> 00:17:20,116
Come on, we're getting out of here.
287
00:17:20,150 --> 00:17:21,416
No, wait a minute.
288
00:17:21,450 --> 00:17:23,266
You might still get him to do your show.
289
00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:25,166
He didn't recognize me.
290
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,200
Right now, he just thinks you're some guy with an Estelle Getty fetish.
291
00:17:31,366 --> 00:17:33,116
You know, Elton...
292
00:17:33,150 --> 00:17:35,433
Mr. Sheffield has this fabulous new musical
293
00:17:35,466 --> 00:17:37,333
that you'd be perfect for.
294
00:17:37,366 --> 00:17:39,283
Why don't you tell him about it?
295
00:17:39,316 --> 00:17:42,133
Um, yes. Right, yes.
296
00:17:42,166 --> 00:17:43,450
Yeah. Right, well...
297
00:17:43,483 --> 00:17:47,200
Yes, Elton, it's a rock musical and...
298
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,383
and, uh...
299
00:17:53,233 --> 00:17:55,233
You're eating flower!
300
00:17:59,183 --> 00:18:01,433
So this is a first date for you two?
301
00:18:01,466 --> 00:18:04,483
Actually, we have been together for four years.
302
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:08,283
-We just felt it was time-- -Waiter's hand.
303
00:18:12,330 --> 00:18:15,830
Meanwhile, this elastic waistband is so tight,
304
00:18:15,116 --> 00:18:18,383
it's cutting off my circulation. I can't even feel my own tuchus.
305
00:18:18,416 --> 00:18:20,450
Elton's tuchus.
306
00:18:28,350 --> 00:18:32,133
I think it's going very well. Don't you?
307
00:18:45,483 --> 00:18:48,316
Oh, there you are. Where did you disappear tonight?
308
00:18:48,350 --> 00:18:50,183
Well, I did what Maxwell said.
309
00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:53,266
Apparently, I'm the only one who cares about his kids.
310
00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:54,383
What are you talking about?
311
00:18:54,416 --> 00:18:56,283
Margaret took the children for ice cream.
312
00:18:56,316 --> 00:18:59,300
I'm tired.
313
00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:02,433
It's no wonder with all that running you did, Sidney.
314
00:19:02,466 --> 00:19:04,333
He kept trying to get away from me to go
315
00:19:04,366 --> 00:19:06,433
intoGeorge of the Jungle, but I got him.
316
00:19:09,366 --> 00:19:11,400
Oh, my God, you insane woman.
317
00:19:11,433 --> 00:19:13,266
You've kidnapped someone's child.
318
00:19:15,483 --> 00:19:18,350
-What? -There is no Sidney!
319
00:19:18,383 --> 00:19:20,350
I made him up, you lunatic!
320
00:19:20,383 --> 00:19:23,000
Oh, my God. We're going to prison.
321
00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:25,200
I stole someone's child?
322
00:19:25,233 --> 00:19:27,100
I thought you were trying to help me!
323
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:30,500
Oh, you baboon. Why would I help you?
324
00:19:30,830 --> 00:19:32,283
Oh, no, no. This is all my fault.
325
00:19:32,316 --> 00:19:34,166
I have got to call that theater.
326
00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:39,660
Okay, you can go. Here's ten for you
327
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:41,266
and ten for your mom.
328
00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:46,160
But you promised us $50.
329
00:19:49,183 --> 00:19:52,830
And if you'd remembered the part about needing your insulin
330
00:19:52,116 --> 00:19:54,000
you'd be getting $50.
331
00:19:59,133 --> 00:20:01,660
Well, Max, it's been a pleasure.
332
00:20:02,183 --> 00:20:04,830
Elton, please, before you go,
333
00:20:04,116 --> 00:20:05,316
would you mind autographing
334
00:20:05,350 --> 00:20:08,000
your new CD The Big Picture for me?
335
00:20:08,330 --> 00:20:09,100
Of course.
336
00:20:09,133 --> 00:20:11,830
Do you happen to have one on you?
337
00:20:12,483 --> 00:20:14,416
I'm not the sort of artist
338
00:20:14,450 --> 00:20:17,830
that goes around carrying his own CD...
339
00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:19,183
but look at here.
340
00:20:24,116 --> 00:20:26,483
And do you need one for an aunt, maybe?
341
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:28,466
Or an optician?
342
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:36,330
-Thank you. -Elton, David. Good luck with the film.
343
00:20:36,660 --> 00:20:37,300
And about that show of yours, Max.
344
00:20:37,333 --> 00:20:40,660
Sounds great. Let's talk about it Tuesday.
345
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:43,316
-Wonderful, wonderful. -Bye-bye, nice meeting you.
346
00:20:44,216 --> 00:20:46,316
Wow, wow, wow.
347
00:20:47,466 --> 00:20:49,660
That went very well.
348
00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:51,466
I'm telling you, Maxwell Sheffield.
349
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,116
I am good for you.
350
00:20:55,150 --> 00:20:58,200
So, I take it there's gonna be a second date?
351
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,000
You bet.
352
00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:06,433
Oh. Elton forgot to autograph the CDs!
353
00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:10,183
Elton. Elton!
354
00:21:10,216 --> 00:21:12,150
Yoo-hoo!
355
00:21:30,133 --> 00:21:32,366
And one for Hadassah, Rego Park.
356
00:21:34,250 --> 00:21:39,000
And just a few generic, "Glenn Close."
357
00:21:39,330 --> 00:21:41,183
I'll fill in the greetings.
358
00:21:47,133 --> 00:21:49,166
Would you like a sour ball?
359
00:22:02,830 --> 00:22:04,433
[theme music playing]
360
00:22:19,250 --> 00:22:21,830
[theme music ends]
26310
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