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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:05,266 [♪♪♪] 2 00:00:05,300 --> 00:00:09,166 Has anyone seen my tropical getaways brochure? 3 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:11,350 You know, B, you didn't have to steal it. 4 00:00:11,383 --> 00:00:13,333 I was gonna donate it to the library 5 00:00:13,366 --> 00:00:15,200 under your mattress. 6 00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:19,116 Wait a minute. This isn't my trig book. 7 00:00:19,150 --> 00:00:20,316 Yeah. 8 00:00:20,350 --> 00:00:23,233 Ugh. Guys come up with the lamest excuses. 9 00:00:23,266 --> 00:00:25,660 Oh yeah, like when you told me 10 00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:27,133 that you had the whisker burn all over your face 11 00:00:27,166 --> 00:00:30,330 from kissing my mother. Hello. 12 00:00:30,433 --> 00:00:32,383 Fran, that really happened. 13 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:36,416 Oh, well, I'll give you that one. 14 00:00:38,150 --> 00:00:40,500 C.C.: Well I wish I could get away for the holidays, 15 00:00:40,830 --> 00:00:42,660 but I just have so much work do. 16 00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:44,400 Cheers. Gotta keep that nose so bright. 17 00:00:44,433 --> 00:00:46,466 Don't you guide his sleigh that night? 18 00:00:48,116 --> 00:00:49,300 [LAUGHS] 19 00:00:49,333 --> 00:00:51,300 [COUGHS] 20 00:00:51,333 --> 00:00:53,483 I've gotta get that flu shot. 21 00:00:55,830 --> 00:00:56,133 Fran, does this mean 22 00:00:56,166 --> 00:00:58,233 that you won't be with us for Christmas? 23 00:00:58,266 --> 00:01:00,366 No, sweetie, your father and I 24 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:03,450 are taking separate vacations this year. 25 00:01:03,483 --> 00:01:05,316 You know, sometimes when two people 26 00:01:05,350 --> 00:01:07,350 spend a lot of time together, 27 00:01:07,383 --> 00:01:09,450 and one's not willing to commit... 28 00:01:11,483 --> 00:01:13,200 the other has to take the money 29 00:01:13,233 --> 00:01:15,183 that she would've spent on her trousseau, 30 00:01:15,216 --> 00:01:18,160 and drown her sorrows in Bahama Mamas. 31 00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:20,183 You know, it's okay, Fran. 32 00:01:20,216 --> 00:01:23,300 It's not like you and Daddy are married or dating or-- 33 00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,330 Babbling, sweetie. 34 00:01:26,830 --> 00:01:28,330 Miss Fine, this is ridiculous. 35 00:01:28,660 --> 00:01:30,383 We don't have to take separate vacations. 36 00:01:30,416 --> 00:01:33,150 Look, I really think that it'll be better for us, 37 00:01:33,183 --> 00:01:35,366 and I don't want to argue about it, 'cause my mind's made up. 38 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:37,116 Well, it's a shame. 39 00:01:37,150 --> 00:01:38,400 I was thinking of chartering a yacht 40 00:01:38,433 --> 00:01:41,160 and cruising off the Greek islands. 41 00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:43,830 Well, nothing's set in stone. 42 00:01:44,250 --> 00:01:47,233 Well, I'd like to discuss this with you in private. 43 00:01:47,266 --> 00:01:49,500 If that's all right with you two. 44 00:01:49,830 --> 00:01:51,830 -Eh... you talking to me? -Oh, did you say something? 45 00:01:53,830 --> 00:01:54,300 Come on. Let's go to my office. 46 00:01:56,330 --> 00:01:57,200 Whoa, Nellie. 47 00:01:57,233 --> 00:01:58,400 Don't you know it's terribly impolite 48 00:01:58,433 --> 00:02:01,160 to listen in on other people's conversations. 49 00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:04,383 This from the man who posed for the RCA dog. 50 00:02:07,330 --> 00:02:09,116 Now, let go of me. I don't want to miss this. 51 00:02:09,150 --> 00:02:11,233 All right, but be careful. I just... 52 00:02:11,266 --> 00:02:12,216 [C.C. SHRIEKS] 53 00:02:12,250 --> 00:02:13,316 [THUD] 54 00:02:14,283 --> 00:02:16,116 ...waxed the floor. 55 00:02:18,316 --> 00:02:20,366 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 56 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:23,250 ♪♪ She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens ♪♪ 57 00:02:23,283 --> 00:02:24,483 ♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out ♪♪ 58 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:26,316 ♪♪ In one of those crushing scenes ♪♪ 59 00:02:26,350 --> 00:02:28,283 ♪♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪♪ 60 00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:31,233 ♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪ 61 00:02:31,266 --> 00:02:34,116 ♪♪ So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffield's door ♪♪ 62 00:02:34,150 --> 00:02:36,400 ♪♪ She was there to sell makeup, but the father saw more ♪♪ 63 00:02:36,433 --> 00:02:39,000 ♪♪ She had style! She had flair! She was there! ♪♪ 64 00:02:39,330 --> 00:02:42,366 ♪♪ That's how she became the nanny! ♪♪ 65 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,316 ♪♪ Who would have guessed that the girl we've described ♪♪ 66 00:02:45,350 --> 00:02:47,483 ♪♪ Was just exactly what the doctor prescribed? ♪♪ 67 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:49,266 ♪♪ Now the father finds her beguiling ♪♪ 68 00:02:49,300 --> 00:02:50,466 ♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪ 69 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,116 ♪♪ And the kids are actually smiling ♪♪ 70 00:02:52,150 --> 00:02:53,250 ♪♪ Such joie de vivre! ♪♪ 71 00:02:53,283 --> 00:02:54,450 ♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪ 72 00:02:54,483 --> 00:02:58,333 ♪♪ When everybody else is wearing tan ♪♪ 73 00:02:58,366 --> 00:03:01,830 ♪♪ The flashy girl from Flushing ♪♪ 74 00:03:01,116 --> 00:03:03,660 ♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪ 75 00:03:06,350 --> 00:03:08,333 I just don't understand why 76 00:03:08,366 --> 00:03:11,233 you're suddenly taking a separate vacation. 77 00:03:11,266 --> 00:03:13,660 What is the big deal? 78 00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:15,133 It's not like we're one of those needy, co-dependent couples 79 00:03:15,166 --> 00:03:17,216 that have to spend every waking moment with each other. 80 00:03:17,250 --> 00:03:19,300 Right? Where are you going? 81 00:03:21,283 --> 00:03:24,183 I just think the holidays are a time for us to be together. 82 00:03:24,216 --> 00:03:27,830 Like a... a warm loving family. 83 00:03:27,116 --> 00:03:29,300 Well, I got news for you. A warm loving family 84 00:03:29,333 --> 00:03:32,500 requires a legally binding certificate 85 00:03:32,830 --> 00:03:35,500 registered with the state, and Pottery Barn. 86 00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:40,183 Besides, what is this unnatural obsession 87 00:03:40,216 --> 00:03:43,116 with you not wanting me to take a vacation by myself? 88 00:03:43,150 --> 00:03:46,183 [SCOFFS] Well, now I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. 89 00:03:46,216 --> 00:03:48,200 Oh, no? 90 00:03:48,233 --> 00:03:51,333 I'm taking the entire family on a cruise. 91 00:03:51,366 --> 00:03:53,450 -Where you going? -The Caribbean. 92 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,416 That's fabulous. 93 00:03:56,166 --> 00:03:57,250 Just like me. 94 00:03:57,283 --> 00:03:59,416 I know. We're coming with you. 95 00:04:00,133 --> 00:04:01,266 What? 96 00:04:03,433 --> 00:04:06,183 Now, Miss Fine, wasn't it your idea 97 00:04:06,216 --> 00:04:09,333 that Brighton should have a big bar mitzvah-like to-do? 98 00:04:09,366 --> 00:04:13,250 Yeah, bar mitzvah on land. 99 00:04:13,283 --> 00:04:17,160 We're desert people. We don't like to get wet. 100 00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:19,200 That's why we parted the Red Sea. 101 00:04:20,383 --> 00:04:22,300 Oh, that. Well... 102 00:04:22,333 --> 00:04:24,450 Why can't you just be honest, Mr. Sheffield? 103 00:04:24,483 --> 00:04:26,283 The reason why 104 00:04:26,316 --> 00:04:29,266 you don't want me going on a vacation alone 105 00:04:29,300 --> 00:04:33,660 is because you are terrified that I'm gonna meet someone. 106 00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:35,283 Yes, you are always sabotaging my dates. 107 00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:37,160 Oh, that is ridiculous. 108 00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:38,350 Every one of your dates I've been on, 109 00:04:38,383 --> 00:04:40,416 I behaved like a perfect gentleman. 110 00:04:42,830 --> 00:04:44,116 No, Maxwell, you're welcome to join us. 111 00:04:44,483 --> 00:04:47,150 Oh. Oh well, that sounds... 112 00:04:49,466 --> 00:04:52,466 terribly inconvenient. Couldn't possibly. Good night. 113 00:04:53,216 --> 00:04:55,166 Are you sure? 114 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,000 Well, actually, uh... 115 00:04:58,433 --> 00:05:01,000 -What kind of car does he drive? -A limo. 116 00:05:01,330 --> 00:05:04,250 -Oh, Town Car? -Stretch. It's enormous. 117 00:05:04,283 --> 00:05:05,366 Bigger than mine? 118 00:05:08,333 --> 00:05:11,483 Oy, if it's so important to you, whip yours out of the garage, 119 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,400 and we'll have a limo-measuring contest. 120 00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:18,830 All right, fine. 121 00:05:18,116 --> 00:05:21,116 Take your vacation at some tacky resort 122 00:05:21,150 --> 00:05:23,160 with its tequila shooter night 123 00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:26,283 and, oh, yes, the big "Macarena" marathon. 124 00:05:28,116 --> 00:05:32,250 For your information, this place happens to be nothing like that. 125 00:05:32,283 --> 00:05:34,100 It's very, very classy. 126 00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:37,216 Oh, look, they've got a strip limbo contest. 127 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,200 If that touches, is he disqualified? 128 00:05:42,283 --> 00:05:44,333 Maybe from the contest. 129 00:05:46,266 --> 00:05:49,350 [♪♪♪] 130 00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:51,133 Oh, my God. 131 00:05:51,166 --> 00:05:55,000 -This is beautiful. It's paradise. -Oh, Fran, oh. 132 00:05:55,330 --> 00:05:56,166 Hola 133 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,830 My name is Rico. 134 00:05:58,116 --> 00:05:59,483 Please, ladies, after you. 135 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,100 Oh, well, you know, Rico, in our country, 136 00:06:02,133 --> 00:06:04,466 -it's customary for the man to go first. -Mmhmm. 137 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,830 Really? 138 00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:11,160 God bless America. 139 00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:14,300 -See, Fran, aren't you glad you came with me? -Huh, huh. 140 00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:16,116 You wouldn't be able to flirt with Rico 141 00:06:16,150 --> 00:06:18,100 with Mr. Sheffield all over you, 142 00:06:18,133 --> 00:06:20,216 dancing, smearing you with baby oil, 143 00:06:20,250 --> 00:06:22,483 taking you for cocktails at sunset. 144 00:06:24,366 --> 00:06:26,830 You know Val, this is why my mother 145 00:06:26,116 --> 00:06:28,183 never wanted me to play with you. 146 00:06:29,266 --> 00:06:31,400 -Where's the paint? -It's down there. 147 00:06:32,166 --> 00:06:33,233 Why? 148 00:06:35,283 --> 00:06:37,100 Well, you were in such a rush to get up here, 149 00:06:37,133 --> 00:06:40,166 -I felt so-- -It doesn't matter! 150 00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:44,333 Let's just go down and get it. 151 00:06:44,366 --> 00:06:46,483 Now, unlock your lever when I say "three." 152 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:48,433 Have you got that, Val? Three. 153 00:06:51,233 --> 00:06:56,830 [SCREAMS] Oh, my God! Val! 154 00:06:58,100 --> 00:06:59,333 Fran, look at all these people. 155 00:06:59,366 --> 00:07:01,366 We're never gonna get on the first bus. 156 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:04,333 Oh, don't worry. I'll take care of that. 157 00:07:04,366 --> 00:07:09,160 Can you believe that gorgeous two-bedroom apartment 158 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:13,333 on the corner there for only 400 bucks a month? 159 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:27,216 Oh, Val, could you believe how stupid those people--? 160 00:07:27,250 --> 00:07:28,466 Val! 161 00:07:29,333 --> 00:07:33,160 Oh, my God! A roach! A roach! 162 00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:35,300 Well, take your shoe off and kill it. 163 00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:38,333 [SQUISHES] 164 00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:41,416 Oh, Val! 165 00:07:41,450 --> 00:07:45,283 -This breeze is just fabulous. -Oh, I know. 166 00:07:45,316 --> 00:07:48,160 -Come on, let's get out of these bulky clothes. -Yeah. 167 00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:50,330 PA ANNOUNCER:Attention guests, a small tropical depression 168 00:07:50,660 --> 00:07:51,333 might be heading for the island. 169 00:07:51,366 --> 00:07:54,366 So there will be free cocktail inside the Lido Pavilion. 170 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:57,216 -Free cocktails. -Ooh! What's it called? Oh! Oh! 171 00:07:58,333 --> 00:08:00,266 PA ANNOUNCER: Okay, that's cancelled. 172 00:08:03,366 --> 00:08:05,183 Okay, get in! 173 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,266 [♪♪♪] 174 00:08:10,283 --> 00:08:13,433 Mr. Sheffield, a terrible hurricane 175 00:08:13,466 --> 00:08:17,116 is gonna hit the island that Franny is on. 176 00:08:17,150 --> 00:08:19,466 My baby is gonna die. 177 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,250 Oh, Sylvia. 178 00:08:22,283 --> 00:08:25,266 Hold me. Don't be such a Gentile. 179 00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:29,350 Sylvia, I know. I've heard. 180 00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:32,200 But it's... it's all-- It's gonna be all right. Come on. 181 00:08:32,233 --> 00:08:35,133 It's times like this you look up to God 182 00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:38,133 and ask, "Why? Why?" 183 00:08:38,166 --> 00:08:41,383 Well, now, we can't ask why, Sylvia. 184 00:08:41,416 --> 00:08:44,160 It's nature. It's random. It's-- 185 00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:47,283 No. Why don't you marry my daughter? 186 00:08:49,416 --> 00:08:53,116 She'd be home safe with us right now. 187 00:08:53,150 --> 00:08:56,333 Now, Sylvia, I appreciate you're upset, 188 00:08:56,366 --> 00:08:58,266 but I'd prefer not to discuss something 189 00:08:58,300 --> 00:09:01,333 that's really between Miss Fine and myself. 190 00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:03,366 Make an exception. 191 00:09:04,166 --> 00:09:06,100 How often am I here? 192 00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:12,316 MAXWELL: Here they are, Naomi and Wynonna. 193 00:09:14,450 --> 00:09:19,316 Do I smell banana fritters with fresh fruit compote? 194 00:09:19,483 --> 00:09:21,830 No. 195 00:09:21,416 --> 00:09:23,500 Could I? 196 00:09:25,483 --> 00:09:27,500 Ma! 197 00:09:28,283 --> 00:09:31,660 Miss Taylor, I'd like you to meet my mother. 198 00:09:41,383 --> 00:09:43,450 Sylvia Fine. 199 00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:48,466 This meeting bestows an honor upon me 200 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:52,366 which is unparalleled within my universe. 201 00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:57,383 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 202 00:10:02,660 --> 00:10:05,116 [HEAVY WIND BLOWING] 203 00:10:05,433 --> 00:10:08,500 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 204 00:10:31,416 --> 00:10:34,483 I told them no salt! 205 00:10:37,266 --> 00:10:38,400 [WIND STOPS] 206 00:10:38,433 --> 00:10:41,183 -Oh, my God. Sun! Sun! -Oh, sun! 207 00:10:43,266 --> 00:10:45,433 -[BOTH GROAN] -[WIND BLOWS] 208 00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:49,183 -Did I get anything? -No! 209 00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:54,000 Oy, Fran, I'm scared. This is like a real hurricane. 210 00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:57,333 Calm down, Val! 211 00:10:57,366 --> 00:10:59,216 If it gets really bad, 212 00:10:59,250 --> 00:11:02,383 we could always tie ourselves to something sturdy! 213 00:11:02,416 --> 00:11:05,000 -This will do. -Oh, oh. 214 00:11:11,660 --> 00:11:13,200 C.C.:If you hadn't waxed the stupid floor, 215 00:11:13,233 --> 00:11:14,383 this never would have happened. 216 00:11:14,416 --> 00:11:16,450 Oh, come on, don't be such a baby. 217 00:11:16,483 --> 00:11:18,300 You're really getting the hang of it. 218 00:11:18,333 --> 00:11:20,433 [WHIRRING] 219 00:11:26,216 --> 00:11:27,383 I'm hungry. 220 00:11:27,416 --> 00:11:30,116 Well, it's your fault for not showing up for lunch. 221 00:11:30,150 --> 00:11:33,100 I was waiting in the dining room for hours. 222 00:11:33,133 --> 00:11:34,400 But I served upstairs in the solarium. 223 00:11:34,433 --> 00:11:37,316 Why didn't you--? Oh. 224 00:11:40,330 --> 00:11:41,383 You wouldn't be able to torture me like this 225 00:11:41,416 --> 00:11:42,466 if I wasn't in this chair. 226 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:46,483 But you are, Babs, you are. 227 00:11:47,483 --> 00:11:50,283 -Coffee? -Yes, please. 228 00:11:50,316 --> 00:11:51,450 Ow! 229 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,830 This is ridiculous. 230 00:11:54,116 --> 00:11:57,100 I don't know why that stupid store doesn't deliver. 231 00:11:58,266 --> 00:12:01,660 Oh, they do. 232 00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:07,660 Oh, dear, I wonder if I can catch her. 233 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,830 Oh, Miss Babcock. 234 00:12:17,330 --> 00:12:19,316 Maxwell, darling, is that you? 235 00:12:23,116 --> 00:12:24,200 Shh. 236 00:12:24,233 --> 00:12:26,216 [GENTLY] Don't turn around. 237 00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:34,100 [BLOWS AIR] 238 00:12:36,333 --> 00:12:38,830 I'm yours. 239 00:12:40,466 --> 00:12:43,166 Tell me what you want me to do. 240 00:12:49,350 --> 00:12:51,383 [GENTLY] Cluck like a chicken. 241 00:12:59,383 --> 00:13:01,160 What? 242 00:13:01,333 --> 00:13:03,266 It turns me on. 243 00:13:09,433 --> 00:13:11,283 [CLUCKING] 244 00:13:13,316 --> 00:13:15,183 [CLUCKING] 245 00:13:18,116 --> 00:13:20,183 [CLUCKING] 246 00:13:23,216 --> 00:13:25,316 [CLUCKING] 247 00:13:26,383 --> 00:13:29,400 [CLUCKING] 248 00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:31,366 [SCREAMS] 249 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,660 -Oh, get out of my way. -Oh. 250 00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:39,350 -[WHIRRING] -Oh, oh, Niles. 251 00:13:39,383 --> 00:13:42,330 Oh, God, this thing is stuck. How do I stop it? 252 00:13:42,660 --> 00:13:44,150 Hold on, I'll get the manual. 253 00:13:44,183 --> 00:13:47,400 -MAXWELL:Niles, are you busy? -Free as a bird, sir. 254 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:50,160 Niles! 255 00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:51,266 Niles! 256 00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:54,100 Niles! 257 00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:56,450 REPORTER [OVER RADIO]: Hurricane Diane continues a path of destruction 258 00:13:56,483 --> 00:13:59,450 and is bearing down on the Caribbean. Stay tuned. 259 00:14:01,330 --> 00:14:03,250 Niles, I'm awfully worried. 260 00:14:03,283 --> 00:14:04,333 What if she dies? 261 00:14:04,366 --> 00:14:06,160 Oh, I'll feed her eventually, sir. 262 00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:07,433 I'm just screwing with her head. 263 00:14:09,433 --> 00:14:12,830 I'm talking about Miss Fine. 264 00:14:12,116 --> 00:14:14,116 What if something happens to her? 265 00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:17,133 She'll never know how I feel about her. 266 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,830 No one knows. 267 00:14:19,116 --> 00:14:20,166 No one kno--? 268 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,350 -[BANGS ON TABLE] -Hello. 269 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,160 Niles, what am I gonna do? 270 00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:27,233 These costumes are gonna be ghastly. 271 00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:28,300 Was C.C. right? 272 00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:30,283 I mean, have I let my judgment be impaired 273 00:14:30,316 --> 00:14:31,483 by my feelings for Miss Fine? 274 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:33,350 -What feelings are those, sir? -Well, you know. 275 00:14:33,383 --> 00:14:35,216 -No, I don't, sir. -Oh, come on, Niles. 276 00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:37,383 Oh, but you'd feel so much better if you just said it. 277 00:14:37,416 --> 00:14:39,433 Oh, perhaps you're right. 278 00:14:39,466 --> 00:14:42,416 Maybe I should just admit that-- 279 00:14:42,450 --> 00:14:45,200 -Knock, knock. -Oh, wait! 280 00:14:51,660 --> 00:14:53,330 Why is she throwing herself at him anyway? 281 00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:56,160 I mean, it's not as if she's never seen a good-looking man before. 282 00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:57,333 I've been known to turn a few heads 283 00:14:57,366 --> 00:14:59,330 in my time. Right, Niles? 284 00:14:59,660 --> 00:15:01,330 You're a brick... 285 00:15:01,660 --> 00:15:02,266 house. 286 00:15:05,366 --> 00:15:08,216 Mighty, mighty. 287 00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:11,166 What do I have to do to convince her she's desirable? 288 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:13,416 Well, sir, I'm sure you'll think of something. 289 00:15:13,450 --> 00:15:17,400 I mean, after all, you're a man, she's a woman. 290 00:15:17,433 --> 00:15:19,350 Fill in the blanks. 291 00:15:22,166 --> 00:15:23,466 The children are at school. 292 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,283 She's lying on the sofa. 293 00:15:25,316 --> 00:15:30,450 And if all else fails, what would Pierce Brosnan do? 294 00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:35,116 [HEAVY WIND BLOWING] 295 00:15:37,233 --> 00:15:39,150 I don't know, Val. 296 00:15:40,116 --> 00:15:42,383 Oh, all right. Sela Ward fromSisters. 297 00:15:42,416 --> 00:15:44,316 Yes! 298 00:15:44,350 --> 00:15:46,150 You are so good. 299 00:15:46,183 --> 00:15:47,316 [CRACKLING] 300 00:15:47,350 --> 00:15:50,366 You know what? I'm gonna call the family at home, 301 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,266 let them know that we're okay. 302 00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:54,416 Oh, Mr. Sheffield gave you his phone? 303 00:15:54,450 --> 00:15:59,500 Gave, fell in my purse, who remembers? 304 00:15:59,830 --> 00:16:01,133 -[THUNDER RUMBLING] -[BOTH GASP] 305 00:16:02,283 --> 00:16:05,150 Val! Val, the room is gonna cave in! 306 00:16:05,183 --> 00:16:06,366 We're gonna die! 307 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,300 Shouldn't our life be flashing before our eyes? 308 00:16:09,333 --> 00:16:13,183 Val, we're over 30, single, and in bed with each other. 309 00:16:13,216 --> 00:16:15,000 What life? 310 00:16:17,830 --> 00:16:18,660 [GLASS SHATTERING OUTSIDE] 311 00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:21,466 -Oh, those poor children. -Oh. 312 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:26,316 They're gonna be lost without my love and attention. 313 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:29,483 Did you find out who it is yet? 314 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,500 Honey, what did I tell you about snooping? 315 00:16:32,830 --> 00:16:33,350 That there should always be a lookout. 316 00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:36,150 -Good. Go wait in the hall. -Right. 317 00:16:36,183 --> 00:16:39,100 A hickey, Maggie? Did you really think 318 00:16:39,133 --> 00:16:41,830 that you were gonna hide a hickey from me 319 00:16:41,116 --> 00:16:42,433 with a little pressed powder? 320 00:16:42,466 --> 00:16:47,416 You need oil-based concealer. 321 00:16:47,450 --> 00:16:50,216 Oh, just forget it. It's too humiliating. 322 00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:52,100 Well, what could be so humiliating 323 00:16:52,133 --> 00:16:55,000 about being smaller in the locker room? 324 00:17:00,150 --> 00:17:02,133 Master Willie is here with his nanny. 325 00:17:02,166 --> 00:17:05,183 Oh, now, honey, you go make an entrance, 326 00:17:05,216 --> 00:17:07,333 and check yourself like I taught you. 327 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,366 I'm fine. 328 00:17:11,466 --> 00:17:14,500 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 329 00:17:24,216 --> 00:17:27,233 Well, I am never coming back to this place again. 330 00:17:29,166 --> 00:17:32,400 I ordered room service a half an hour ago. 331 00:17:33,250 --> 00:17:35,116 Do you see a fajita? 332 00:17:38,150 --> 00:17:41,330 [♪♪♪] 333 00:18:07,333 --> 00:18:10,660 Get up. I saw you through the window. 334 00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:13,283 -Wait. Miss Fine, this idea of taking separate vacations -Mr. Sheffield. 335 00:18:13,316 --> 00:18:15,350 -was a horrible idea. -This was a lousy idea. 336 00:18:15,383 --> 00:18:17,233 -I missed you dreadfully. -I had a terrible time. 337 00:18:17,266 --> 00:18:19,366 -I'm so glad you're back. -Let's never do this again. 338 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,000 -What? -What? 339 00:18:21,330 --> 00:18:22,300 -Nothing. -Nothing. 340 00:18:24,150 --> 00:18:25,333 The fact is, you're safe, 341 00:18:25,366 --> 00:18:28,330 and we're all together for the holidays. 342 00:18:28,660 --> 00:18:32,133 Yes, and I am never leaving home again. 343 00:18:32,166 --> 00:18:34,333 Unless, of course, you're dying to take a trip, 344 00:18:34,366 --> 00:18:36,116 then we can always charter a yacht 345 00:18:36,150 --> 00:18:38,830 around the Greek islands. 346 00:18:39,150 --> 00:18:40,483 You know, Miss Fine, this will be 347 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:43,116 our fourth Christmas together. 348 00:18:43,150 --> 00:18:46,383 It seems like only yesterday you came knocking on our door. 349 00:18:47,483 --> 00:18:50,200 -May I see your résumé, please? -Oh, yeah, sure. 350 00:18:52,433 --> 00:18:54,283 -Crayon? -Lipstick. 351 00:18:54,316 --> 00:18:56,316 Of course. What a lovely shade. 352 00:18:56,350 --> 00:18:58,266 [LAUGHS] 353 00:19:02,830 --> 00:19:03,233 I hate her. 354 00:19:03,266 --> 00:19:05,416 -Now, Brighton, let's not be hasty. -Yeah. 355 00:19:05,450 --> 00:19:08,216 I haven't even sung "Climb Every Mountain" yet. 356 00:19:09,466 --> 00:19:12,416 Miss Fine, you seem to have listed 357 00:19:12,450 --> 00:19:14,433 the queen mother as a reference? 358 00:19:14,466 --> 00:19:17,160 What? Let me see that. 359 00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:19,400 Oh, no. That's not the queen mother. 360 00:19:19,433 --> 00:19:22,830 That's my mother from Queens. 361 00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:24,483 I can't believe that was four years ago 362 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,660 and still I'm only two years older. 363 00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,183 You didn't think I could handle this job, 364 00:19:30,216 --> 00:19:33,316 but I turned out to be quite a professional. 365 00:19:33,350 --> 00:19:37,350 While you're here, tell me, should I take this back? 366 00:19:37,383 --> 00:19:39,316 Uh, I think you should put it on. 367 00:19:39,350 --> 00:19:41,433 I already had it on. It flattens out my-- 368 00:19:41,466 --> 00:19:46,830 Oh, Mr. Sheffield! Why didn't you say anything? 369 00:19:46,116 --> 00:19:48,116 Well, I didn't notice. 370 00:19:48,150 --> 00:19:51,400 You didn't-- You know, I'm beginning to wonder about you too. 371 00:19:53,116 --> 00:19:55,350 Oh, I can't get it on. I'm stuck. 372 00:19:55,383 --> 00:19:58,450 -Help me. Help me. -Relax, Miss Fine, we'll get it on. 373 00:19:58,483 --> 00:20:00,266 No, rip it out. 374 00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:05,166 Oh, Mr. Sheffield. I'm so hot. 375 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,216 I can't do this standing up. 376 00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:10,660 Let's... let's get on the bed. 377 00:20:20,283 --> 00:20:22,416 If you let me tell Miss Babcock about this, 378 00:20:22,450 --> 00:20:24,466 I'll work free for a year. 379 00:20:27,233 --> 00:20:31,660 Miss Fine, remember who signs your check. 380 00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:36,830 Oh, Mr. Sheffield, I'm not gonna hit you with this. 381 00:20:36,116 --> 00:20:38,100 -[GASPS] -Fake out. 382 00:20:40,166 --> 00:20:42,160 Friends? 383 00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:44,450 Oh, all right, friends. 384 00:20:44,483 --> 00:20:46,500 Come here. 385 00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:49,660 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 386 00:20:54,166 --> 00:20:57,500 Look, stop it! Don't! Stop! 387 00:20:57,830 --> 00:20:59,466 Stop! Don't! No! 388 00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:09,450 But, you know, Mr. Sheffield, out of all the memories, 389 00:21:09,483 --> 00:21:12,150 -you know which one was my favorite? -Mm? 390 00:21:16,350 --> 00:21:19,316 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 391 00:21:19,350 --> 00:21:21,150 Mazel tov. 392 00:21:21,183 --> 00:21:22,433 You may kiss the bride. 393 00:21:25,216 --> 00:21:30,466 ["WEDDING MARCH" PLAYING] 394 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,000 Oh, Miss Fine, that never happened. 395 00:21:36,133 --> 00:21:38,233 I threw that one in for you guys. 396 00:21:38,266 --> 00:21:40,660 Happy holidays. 397 00:21:49,383 --> 00:21:51,366 FRAN:Niles, I got you invited to Greece. 398 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,216 Why can't you just relax and enjoy it? 399 00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:54,433 NILES:Well, I'm sorry but I can't help feeling 400 00:21:54,466 --> 00:21:56,466 that I left something on in the kitchen. 401 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,166 [WHIRRING] 402 00:22:06,316 --> 00:22:09,233 [♪♪♪] 403 00:22:17,100 --> 00:22:20,000 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 29361

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