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1
00:00:24,171 --> 00:00:26,006
Calvin.
2
00:00:26,106 --> 00:00:27,575
Calvin.
3
00:00:33,480 --> 00:00:36,049
I was watching that.
4
00:00:37,517 --> 00:00:38,552
Do you hear that?
5
00:00:38,652 --> 00:00:39,652
Hear what?
6
00:00:39,687 --> 00:00:41,354
I think I hear the baby crying.
7
00:00:41,454 --> 00:00:43,857
The baby in the house next door?
8
00:00:43,957 --> 00:00:46,727
Yes. What if Daphne is crying?
9
00:00:46,860 --> 00:00:48,938
You know, Marty and Courtney,
they don't know what to do.
10
00:00:48,962 --> 00:00:51,031
They're new
parents. Okay, babe,
11
00:00:51,131 --> 00:00:52,700
look, they'll figure it out.
12
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:56,103
I know you loved having that
baby over here the first night,
13
00:00:56,203 --> 00:00:59,039
but her place is
with her parents.
14
00:01:00,307 --> 00:01:03,143
Come on now. Come
on. Okay, fine.
15
00:01:03,243 --> 00:01:04,844
I know I'm not crazy.
16
00:01:04,845 --> 00:01:06,747
I know I heard the baby crying.
17
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:09,817
You ain't heard nothing crying
from all the way over here.
18
00:01:19,359 --> 00:01:21,861
Where did you
leave her pacifier?
19
00:01:21,862 --> 00:01:23,931
Shh. I don't want
to wake Malcolm up.
20
00:01:26,133 --> 00:01:28,736
Oh, good, you're already up.
21
00:01:28,836 --> 00:01:30,938
Technically, I am still up.
22
00:01:31,038 --> 00:01:32,405
I never fell asleep.
23
00:01:32,505 --> 00:01:34,174
Is something on
your mind, Malcolm?
24
00:01:36,509 --> 00:01:39,545
Yeah, I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm
concerned about plastic straws.
25
00:01:39,546 --> 00:01:41,248
Oh, they're making
them out of pasta now.
26
00:01:41,348 --> 00:01:43,617
I don't give a damn
about them straws.
27
00:01:44,584 --> 00:01:47,154
Look, it is impossible to
get any sleep around here.
28
00:01:47,254 --> 00:01:49,689
No offense. I love my niece,
29
00:01:49,690 --> 00:01:51,859
but she has got
our mama's lungs.
30
00:01:57,397 --> 00:02:00,000
You not even gonna
wipe that off?
31
00:02:00,968 --> 00:02:02,335
Why?
32
00:02:05,205 --> 00:02:07,039
Hey, Marty, how about you trade
33
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:08,608
and let Malcolm sleep out here?
34
00:02:08,742 --> 00:02:10,822
I'm sure it's quieter than
being next door to Daphne.
35
00:02:10,911 --> 00:02:14,081
I can hear everything
through those thin walls.
36
00:02:14,181 --> 00:02:16,383
Daphne crying, Courtney pumping,
37
00:02:16,483 --> 00:02:18,118
Marty crying.
38
00:02:18,218 --> 00:02:20,320
I'm just so tired.
39
00:02:28,195 --> 00:02:29,428
Where you going?
40
00:02:29,429 --> 00:02:32,432
I just remembered. I
need some kumquats.
41
00:02:33,834 --> 00:02:35,869
Nobody "needs" kumquats,
42
00:02:35,969 --> 00:02:37,771
especially not at
2:00 in the morning.
43
00:02:39,439 --> 00:02:41,074
I got a craving for
kumquat marmalade.
44
00:02:41,174 --> 00:02:43,744
Are you gonna tell me that
I don't need marmalade?
45
00:02:44,511 --> 00:02:46,389
Babe, this is literally
the first time in my life
46
00:02:46,413 --> 00:02:48,515
I ever heard you say
the word "marmalade."
47
00:02:49,883 --> 00:02:51,719
And you only going
to that kumquat tree
48
00:02:51,819 --> 00:02:54,087
because it's next to
Marty's kitchen window.
49
00:02:54,187 --> 00:02:55,889
You're spying.
50
00:02:55,989 --> 00:02:57,324
Okay, well, I'm
going over there.
51
00:02:57,457 --> 00:02:58,835
Don't you go over there.
I'm going over there.
52
00:02:58,859 --> 00:03:00,493
Don't you go over there.
53
00:03:02,095 --> 00:03:03,864
She going over there.
54
00:03:05,098 --> 00:03:07,178
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
55
00:03:07,234 --> 00:03:08,702
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
56
00:03:23,050 --> 00:03:26,920
What's up, party people?
57
00:03:27,755 --> 00:03:30,257
Let's freakin' go.
58
00:03:31,091 --> 00:03:33,093
I haven't slept in two days.
59
00:03:33,193 --> 00:03:36,629
There is no party, and I'm
not freakin' going anywhere.
60
00:03:36,730 --> 00:03:38,866
Uh-oh. Baby?
61
00:03:38,966 --> 00:03:42,034
Baby. Up crying half the night.
62
00:03:42,035 --> 00:03:43,470
Hey, man, I'm exhausted, too,
63
00:03:43,603 --> 00:03:44,972
and you don't hear
me complaining.
64
00:03:45,072 --> 00:03:48,541
Well, you don't get to
complain. It's your baby.
65
00:03:49,442 --> 00:03:50,877
You know, if you want,
66
00:03:50,878 --> 00:03:53,346
I could come over and handle
the overnight feedings,
67
00:03:53,446 --> 00:03:55,082
and then give her
some breakfast,
68
00:03:55,182 --> 00:03:57,416
have a quick bath,
take her for a walk,
69
00:03:57,417 --> 00:03:59,352
have some lunch, a
nap, and then, uh,
70
00:03:59,452 --> 00:04:01,121
have her back in
time for dinner.
71
00:04:01,254 --> 00:04:04,124
Mama, we really appreciate
everything that you've done,
72
00:04:04,257 --> 00:04:05,793
but we got it.
73
00:04:05,926 --> 00:04:08,727
Anyway, I hate to run,
but I have got a date
74
00:04:08,728 --> 00:04:10,229
with a little lady who
75
00:04:10,230 --> 00:04:12,165
wants to throw up in my mouth.
76
00:04:15,468 --> 00:04:18,972
I am so tired, and I
have a midterm tomorrow.
77
00:04:19,072 --> 00:04:21,208
You know what?
78
00:04:21,308 --> 00:04:23,176
I'm-a get a room at
the Marengo Suites.
79
00:04:23,276 --> 00:04:24,111
Hmm.
80
00:04:24,211 --> 00:04:25,912
That's smart thinking,
81
00:04:25,913 --> 00:04:28,414
'cause nobody is getting
any sleep around here
82
00:04:28,415 --> 00:04:30,183
until that baby gets some sleep.
83
00:04:30,283 --> 00:04:31,985
Wait, Gemma.
84
00:04:32,119 --> 00:04:33,585
I have a solution.
85
00:04:33,586 --> 00:04:36,689
The magic blue chair.
The magic blue chair.
86
00:04:36,790 --> 00:04:38,859
Let's freakin' go.
87
00:04:39,692 --> 00:04:41,728
Uh, what-what's the
magic blue chair?
88
00:04:41,829 --> 00:04:43,831
Oh, it's this super
snuggly vibrating chair
89
00:04:43,931 --> 00:04:45,332
that no baby can resist.
90
00:04:45,432 --> 00:04:46,933
Sounds great. Where is it?
91
00:04:46,934 --> 00:04:50,269
Ooh, it's in my attic.
Calvin... I'm telling you,
92
00:04:50,270 --> 00:04:53,907
Grover used to sleep 21
hours a day in this thing.
93
00:04:55,208 --> 00:04:58,846
Hearing that out loud,
that probably wasn't good.
94
00:04:58,979 --> 00:05:01,081
Let's freakin' go.
95
00:05:02,449 --> 00:05:03,449
You know what?
96
00:05:03,516 --> 00:05:04,918
Y'all go ahead.
97
00:05:09,689 --> 00:05:10,824
Found it.
98
00:05:10,924 --> 00:05:12,624
Ooh. Maybe before
we give it to them,
99
00:05:12,625 --> 00:05:16,296
we should peel the 14-year-old
Cheerios off it first.
100
00:05:18,198 --> 00:05:19,266
Hey, Gem, look at this.
101
00:05:19,366 --> 00:05:21,501
It's a bunch of
old lists I made.
102
00:05:21,601 --> 00:05:23,635
"Rockin' Band Names."
103
00:05:23,636 --> 00:05:25,838
"Top Ten Dogs."
104
00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:29,376
Ooh. "Things to Do
Before I'm 40." Huh.
105
00:05:29,509 --> 00:05:31,211
"Ride a camel."
106
00:05:31,311 --> 00:05:33,480
"Scale the Sears Tower."
107
00:05:34,647 --> 00:05:37,050
Man, I haven't done
any of these things.
108
00:05:37,150 --> 00:05:39,485
"Meet Mr. T."
109
00:05:39,486 --> 00:05:41,889
"Franchise a Boston Market."
110
00:05:42,722 --> 00:05:46,059
"Learn Japanese 'the hard way.'"
111
00:05:46,159 --> 00:05:47,861
What does that even mean?
112
00:05:47,961 --> 00:05:49,462
Well, I don't remember.
113
00:05:50,563 --> 00:05:52,399
But I haven't done it.
114
00:05:52,532 --> 00:05:55,367
I mean, I haven't done
any of these things.
115
00:05:55,368 --> 00:05:57,604
"Party like a rock star."
116
00:05:57,737 --> 00:05:59,806
"See five geysers."
117
00:05:59,907 --> 00:06:02,342
Come on, how many
geysers are there?
118
00:06:02,442 --> 00:06:04,277
Gemma, this is awful.
119
00:06:04,411 --> 00:06:05,778
I'm over 40,
120
00:06:05,879 --> 00:06:08,281
and what have I
accomplished? Nothing.
121
00:06:08,415 --> 00:06:12,051
Hello, you have a
wife and a child.
122
00:06:12,052 --> 00:06:14,754
Come on, everyone
has those, big whoop.
123
00:06:17,390 --> 00:06:20,093
Okay. Okay, wait,
look at number 11.
124
00:06:20,227 --> 00:06:22,762
"Leave Kalamazoo, move to
a big city." You did that.
125
00:06:22,862 --> 00:06:26,299
Yeah, because you got
this great job here.
126
00:06:27,134 --> 00:06:28,936
Slept my way into that.
127
00:06:35,542 --> 00:06:37,444
Yes, hello, room service.
128
00:06:37,544 --> 00:06:40,981
Do I need to have a child
to order off the kids' menu?
129
00:06:42,882 --> 00:06:44,051
I understand.
130
00:06:44,784 --> 00:06:47,920
Then my son will be
having the dino nuggets,
131
00:06:47,921 --> 00:06:51,391
the mac and cheese,
and your finest IPA.
132
00:07:00,467 --> 00:07:01,634
What the hell?
133
00:07:01,734 --> 00:07:03,570
Did you go and steal that baby?
134
00:07:05,538 --> 00:07:08,508
What? No. I'm not crazy.
135
00:07:08,608 --> 00:07:10,978
I just hid a baby monitor
in a stuffed animal
136
00:07:11,078 --> 00:07:12,845
in Daphne's nursery.
137
00:07:14,747 --> 00:07:16,816
Now I can be sure to hear
if my baby needs help.
138
00:07:16,916 --> 00:07:19,152
Tina, you the one
that need help.
139
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:21,989
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
140
00:07:22,089 --> 00:07:24,290
You hear that?
She needs to burp.
141
00:07:24,291 --> 00:07:27,995
Okay, you know what?
This has gone too far.
142
00:07:28,095 --> 00:07:30,596
Do you realize that you
are already over there,
143
00:07:30,597 --> 00:07:31,999
all day every day?
144
00:07:32,099 --> 00:07:34,701
And now I don't have to be.
145
00:07:34,834 --> 00:07:37,537
Burp. There it is. I told you.
146
00:07:37,637 --> 00:07:40,107
That's it. That's it.
147
00:07:40,207 --> 00:07:41,674
I'm not gonna be a part of this.
148
00:07:41,808 --> 00:07:43,310
Well, where you
going? I don't know,
149
00:07:43,410 --> 00:07:44,944
but you need to
be stormed out on.
150
00:07:51,284 --> 00:07:54,421
Set my alarm for 8:00 a.m.
151
00:07:54,521 --> 00:07:55,922
Mm-hmm.
152
00:07:57,657 --> 00:07:59,526
Before I forget...
153
00:07:59,659 --> 00:08:01,294
Mm.
154
00:08:02,295 --> 00:08:04,697
Oh, God, no.
155
00:08:06,766 --> 00:08:09,102
Your mother is driving me crazy.
156
00:08:09,202 --> 00:08:11,137
You know... Ooh.
This a good idea.
157
00:08:11,138 --> 00:08:13,106
I do not want to be disturbed.
158
00:08:15,208 --> 00:08:16,809
What side the bed you want?
159
00:08:23,883 --> 00:08:28,121
Mm. Parking lot
view, but it'll do.
160
00:08:29,489 --> 00:08:32,792
Yes, it'll do, for me. Pop,
look, why are you here?
161
00:08:32,892 --> 00:08:35,828
You know I love
your mama, right?
162
00:08:35,962 --> 00:08:38,365
But I need me some alone time.
163
00:08:39,832 --> 00:08:42,169
Ooh, uh, you gonna finish
these dino nuggets?
164
00:08:42,269 --> 00:08:44,204
I was planning to.
165
00:08:44,304 --> 00:08:45,405
Never mind.
166
00:08:45,505 --> 00:08:46,906
You got honey mustard.
167
00:08:47,006 --> 00:08:50,143
I raised you better than
that. We ketchup people.
168
00:08:51,844 --> 00:08:55,648
Now, this bed does look comfy.
I haven't slept in days.
169
00:08:55,782 --> 00:08:56,915
Man. Ooh.
170
00:08:56,916 --> 00:08:59,152
Oh.
171
00:09:00,420 --> 00:09:02,822
Th-This is my bed, Pop.
172
00:09:02,955 --> 00:09:05,024
We in a hotel, man.
You can get your own.
173
00:09:05,158 --> 00:09:07,427
And pay for two rooms?
174
00:09:07,527 --> 00:09:09,162
Boy, I raised you
better than that now.
175
00:09:10,763 --> 00:09:12,499
Listen, if that's room service,
176
00:09:12,599 --> 00:09:15,168
see if they got some ketchup
for the dino nuggets.
177
00:09:15,268 --> 00:09:17,537
Get your own ketchup, man.
178
00:09:18,305 --> 00:09:20,373
Oh, good, Malcolm,
it's you. Oh, my God.
179
00:09:20,507 --> 00:09:21,674
Ugh.
180
00:09:21,774 --> 00:09:23,510
All right. I found him!
181
00:09:23,610 --> 00:09:24,744
Yeah, sorry about all that.
182
00:09:24,844 --> 00:09:27,114
Lovely meeting all of you.
183
00:09:30,016 --> 00:09:31,317
Why are you here?
184
00:09:31,318 --> 00:09:33,853
Aw, man. I forgot to
turn off my ringer.
185
00:09:33,986 --> 00:09:36,256
Then I got a Scrabble alert,
and that woke up the baby.
186
00:09:36,356 --> 00:09:38,000
She started screaming, then
Courtney started screaming,
187
00:09:38,024 --> 00:09:39,959
then she said, "I'm
counting to three."
188
00:09:40,059 --> 00:09:41,161
I was in the car by two.
189
00:09:41,261 --> 00:09:43,396
Boy, that is a good
move, 'cause trust me,
190
00:09:43,530 --> 00:09:45,532
you do not want to see three.
191
00:09:45,632 --> 00:09:47,734
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
192
00:09:47,834 --> 00:09:49,502
This ain't your room.
193
00:09:50,370 --> 00:09:53,173
Uh, Pop, this ain't your room.
194
00:09:54,641 --> 00:09:56,143
But I'm already in the bed.
195
00:10:01,548 --> 00:10:03,416
Hey, Courtney. Hey.
196
00:10:03,550 --> 00:10:04,617
Yeah, some of your mail
197
00:10:04,717 --> 00:10:05,984
was accidentally
delivered to my house.
198
00:10:05,985 --> 00:10:07,430
I just wanted to
make sure you got it.
199
00:10:07,454 --> 00:10:09,722
It's addressed to
"current resident."
200
00:10:09,856 --> 00:10:11,691
Yeah, that's you.
201
00:10:11,791 --> 00:10:15,061
Oh, my little gumdrop.
202
00:10:15,162 --> 00:10:17,529
Are you sure she should
be moving that fast?
203
00:10:17,530 --> 00:10:20,233
Oh, she's fine. You
know, studies show
204
00:10:20,333 --> 00:10:22,235
a consistent lateral
gliding motion
205
00:10:22,369 --> 00:10:25,036
increases the number of
sleep-related brain oscillators,
206
00:10:25,037 --> 00:10:27,274
and you stopped
listening, didn't you?
207
00:10:27,407 --> 00:10:28,541
You know, I'm just gonna, uh,
208
00:10:28,641 --> 00:10:30,343
turn this thing
down to "slow."
209
00:10:30,443 --> 00:10:31,887
Well, that's not slow,
that's unplugged.
210
00:10:31,911 --> 00:10:32,911
Yeah, that works, too.
211
00:10:34,046 --> 00:10:36,182
Oh, I know. I know.
212
00:10:36,183 --> 00:10:38,418
Yes, your mama Tina
213
00:10:38,551 --> 00:10:41,654
just saved you from
that terrible machine.
214
00:10:41,754 --> 00:10:43,355
Oh, yes,
215
00:10:43,356 --> 00:10:44,957
she did.
216
00:10:47,694 --> 00:10:50,463
Malcolm, hey, before I hop in,
217
00:10:50,597 --> 00:10:51,831
are you taking the shower cap?
218
00:10:51,931 --> 00:10:53,966
The one you're wearing, Marty?
219
00:10:54,066 --> 00:10:55,335
No, you can keep it.
220
00:10:56,869 --> 00:10:59,739
God, does anybody know what
"do not disturb" means?
221
00:11:00,607 --> 00:11:02,942
Okay. Good, you're all here.
222
00:11:03,042 --> 00:11:04,311
You can ignore the group text.
223
00:11:04,411 --> 00:11:05,812
Uh, we did. I already did.
224
00:11:05,945 --> 00:11:07,213
I blocked you. I blocked you.
225
00:11:07,214 --> 00:11:08,747
All right, now, I need
you to be honest with me.
226
00:11:08,748 --> 00:11:11,083
This is not helpful
if you're not honest.
227
00:11:12,352 --> 00:11:14,020
Have I wasted my life?
228
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:15,822
Wasted?
229
00:11:15,922 --> 00:11:18,090
Dave, you have a wife and child.
230
00:11:18,191 --> 00:11:20,126
Gosh, you sound just like Gemma.
231
00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:21,494
Look. Look at this.
232
00:11:21,594 --> 00:11:24,231
I made this list 20 years ago.
233
00:11:24,331 --> 00:11:25,965
All of my life goals.
234
00:11:26,065 --> 00:11:28,000
Oh, damn, he's about to read it.
235
00:11:30,603 --> 00:11:32,138
I am 42 years old,
236
00:11:32,272 --> 00:11:34,105
and I have only
seen two geysers,
237
00:11:34,106 --> 00:11:37,210
one of which was Old Faithful,
and that's just a gimme.
238
00:11:38,077 --> 00:11:39,712
Well, Dave, you
know what they say.
239
00:11:39,812 --> 00:11:41,748
You can't compare
yourself to people
240
00:11:41,848 --> 00:11:44,484
who've seen more
geysers than you.
241
00:11:44,584 --> 00:11:45,452
Oh.
242
00:11:45,552 --> 00:11:48,588
If only it was just the geysers.
243
00:11:49,456 --> 00:11:50,890
I've never ridden in a sidecar,
244
00:11:50,990 --> 00:11:52,825
I never got my Frasier
reboot off the ground
245
00:11:52,925 --> 00:11:56,463
and I have never once
partied like a rock star.
246
00:11:57,964 --> 00:11:59,631
I think they did
a Frasier reboot.
247
00:11:59,632 --> 00:12:01,601
I know,
248
00:12:01,701 --> 00:12:03,270
and it was magnificent.
249
00:12:03,370 --> 00:12:04,370
All right, you know what?
250
00:12:04,404 --> 00:12:05,705
Dave, calm down,
251
00:12:05,838 --> 00:12:07,707
you're bringing down the
vibe in my hotel room.
252
00:12:07,807 --> 00:12:09,141
It is not
253
00:12:09,242 --> 00:12:10,843
your hotel room.
254
00:12:10,943 --> 00:12:12,545
Wait a minute.
255
00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:14,080
What do you got in
that mini fridge?
256
00:12:14,180 --> 00:12:15,582
Ain't no ketchup.
257
00:12:17,750 --> 00:12:18,885
Okay, all right.
258
00:12:19,018 --> 00:12:21,688
Two Amstel Lights and
a mini chardonnay.
259
00:12:21,788 --> 00:12:24,056
Tonight, I'm partying
like a rock star.
260
00:12:24,156 --> 00:12:26,092
This hotel room is
getting trashed.
261
00:12:26,192 --> 00:12:27,527
Oh. Okay, okay.
262
00:12:27,660 --> 00:12:29,228
Uh, they have my
credit card on file.
263
00:12:29,329 --> 00:12:30,630
Let's not get crazy, Dave.
264
00:12:30,730 --> 00:12:33,333
That's exactly what
we are going to do.
265
00:12:33,433 --> 00:12:34,666
Get crazy.
266
00:12:34,667 --> 00:12:37,737
Marty, crank the clock
radio to Jack FM.
267
00:12:40,072 --> 00:12:41,641
I'm not gonna do that.
268
00:12:42,375 --> 00:12:43,876
Okay, fine. One of you guys
269
00:12:44,010 --> 00:12:45,812
pop that chardonnay.
270
00:12:47,213 --> 00:12:49,115
I'm gonna throw the
TV out the window.
271
00:12:50,249 --> 00:12:51,250
Again, again,
272
00:12:51,384 --> 00:12:52,619
my card is on file.
273
00:12:52,719 --> 00:12:54,754
It's about to get
lit in here, man.
274
00:12:54,854 --> 00:12:56,689
We're doing this thing right!
275
00:12:59,892 --> 00:13:02,629
It's really... They screwed
it all the way into the wall.
276
00:13:02,729 --> 00:13:04,230
All right, okay, look, look.
277
00:13:04,331 --> 00:13:06,141
If we're really gonna turn
this thing into a party,
278
00:13:06,165 --> 00:13:07,400
let's just get some glasses,
279
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:08,901
we'll get the ice filled up,
280
00:13:09,035 --> 00:13:10,536
let's get the thing
rolling, okay?
281
00:13:10,537 --> 00:13:11,838
Hoo-hoo-hoo!
282
00:13:11,938 --> 00:13:13,839
This tiny chardonnay
must be really good
283
00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:15,742
because it is $30.
284
00:13:16,676 --> 00:13:17,944
Okay, all right.
285
00:13:18,044 --> 00:13:19,345
I'm going to my car.
286
00:13:19,346 --> 00:13:20,947
I'm getting my Scattergories.
287
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,915
Uh, no, no, no. You know what?
288
00:13:23,015 --> 00:13:24,751
You go to your car and leave.
289
00:13:24,851 --> 00:13:26,017
All of you, right now.
290
00:13:26,018 --> 00:13:27,587
You know what? That's
right, Malcolm.
291
00:13:27,687 --> 00:13:29,522
Everybody get on out
of here. Go, now.
292
00:13:29,622 --> 00:13:30,923
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
293
00:13:31,057 --> 00:13:32,625
You, too, Pop.
294
00:13:32,725 --> 00:13:34,594
Everybody got to
go. Right now. Out.
295
00:13:34,694 --> 00:13:36,629
Me? Yeah, you.
296
00:13:36,729 --> 00:13:38,598
Ain't no ketchup in here, man.
297
00:13:46,138 --> 00:13:48,541
COURTNEY Hey, Marty, I'm
sorry I snapped at you before.
298
00:13:48,675 --> 00:13:49,776
Ooh, you'd better be.
299
00:13:49,876 --> 00:13:51,777
You were way out of line.
300
00:13:51,778 --> 00:13:53,413
I just lost it.
301
00:13:54,347 --> 00:13:56,015
Yeah, giving my
son the countdown.
302
00:13:56,115 --> 00:13:57,315
That's my move.
303
00:13:57,316 --> 00:13:59,218
You know, I got to admit,
304
00:13:59,318 --> 00:14:00,920
I'm so tired, I
don't even remember
305
00:14:01,020 --> 00:14:02,489
what we were fighting about.
306
00:14:02,589 --> 00:14:04,491
Well, anyway, your
mother stopped by.
307
00:14:04,591 --> 00:14:06,593
She's so sweet. Aw.
308
00:14:06,693 --> 00:14:08,395
But, boy, she can be a lot.
309
00:14:10,497 --> 00:14:12,365
What?
310
00:14:12,465 --> 00:14:14,209
She came up with excuses
just to show up here
311
00:14:14,233 --> 00:14:15,402
five times today.
312
00:14:15,502 --> 00:14:19,170
Uh... Oh...
313
00:14:19,171 --> 00:14:20,873
To take that baby out of that
314
00:14:20,973 --> 00:14:23,943
oscillating death
saucer? My bad.
315
00:14:25,311 --> 00:14:27,178
Okay, now that's my mother
you're talking about.
316
00:14:27,179 --> 00:14:28,581
That's right, you
tell her, Marty.
317
00:14:28,681 --> 00:14:30,601
And if I know my mother,
she definitely came here
318
00:14:30,717 --> 00:14:32,585
more than five times.
319
00:14:33,820 --> 00:14:37,557
I mean, that woman is incapable
of staying in her lane.
320
00:14:37,657 --> 00:14:40,259
Watch your mouth, Marty.
321
00:14:42,462 --> 00:14:44,263
I've been a little
scared to handle Daphne
322
00:14:44,397 --> 00:14:46,498
alone in my apartment, but...
323
00:14:46,499 --> 00:14:48,535
I think it's time.
324
00:14:49,836 --> 00:14:51,237
Your apartment?
325
00:14:51,337 --> 00:14:54,706
Well... But that's all
the way across town. No.
326
00:14:54,707 --> 00:14:56,943
That's out of my range.
327
00:14:59,646 --> 00:15:01,581
Gemma, I'm telling you,
328
00:15:01,681 --> 00:15:04,417
David Lee Roth couldn't
get that TV off the wall.
329
00:15:04,517 --> 00:15:06,419
Dave, listen to yourself.
330
00:15:06,553 --> 00:15:08,688
And I'm not talking
about now David Lee Roth,
331
00:15:08,788 --> 00:15:11,157
I'm talking about "Hot for
Teacher" David Lee Roth.
332
00:15:14,060 --> 00:15:15,360
Dave, stop.
333
00:15:15,361 --> 00:15:17,797
Why did you even want
all these things?
334
00:15:17,930 --> 00:15:19,098
I don't know.
335
00:15:19,231 --> 00:15:20,533
Look, I was young,
336
00:15:20,633 --> 00:15:22,401
and everything seemed possible.
337
00:15:22,502 --> 00:15:24,136
And now it's too late.
338
00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:25,938
Too late? For what?
339
00:15:26,038 --> 00:15:27,205
The kid who wrote this list
340
00:15:27,206 --> 00:15:28,675
thought 40 was old.
341
00:15:28,775 --> 00:15:30,777
But it's not. You're
just beginning.
342
00:15:30,877 --> 00:15:32,111
Come on.
343
00:15:32,244 --> 00:15:34,447
Think about where
Marty and Courtney are.
344
00:15:34,581 --> 00:15:36,082
With a newborn?
345
00:15:36,182 --> 00:15:39,318
Their next 13, 14
years, they're screwed.
346
00:15:40,953 --> 00:15:42,387
But Grover's in eighth grade.
347
00:15:42,388 --> 00:15:44,290
He went to the mall
tonight with some friends,
348
00:15:44,390 --> 00:15:45,710
then they're
sleeping at Dexter's.
349
00:15:45,792 --> 00:15:47,425
We are going to be freer
350
00:15:47,426 --> 00:15:49,328
than we've been
in years. Okay.
351
00:15:49,428 --> 00:15:51,297
To do what?
352
00:15:51,430 --> 00:15:52,532
Anything we want.
353
00:15:52,632 --> 00:15:54,601
I mean, we can start
being stupid again.
354
00:15:54,701 --> 00:15:55,835
Let's just pick one
355
00:15:55,935 --> 00:15:57,268
and set it for this weekend.
356
00:15:57,269 --> 00:16:00,507
Number eight, swimming
with sharks, boom.
357
00:16:02,742 --> 00:16:03,942
Really?
358
00:16:03,943 --> 00:16:06,513
They do shark-diving
trips off Catalina.
359
00:16:07,780 --> 00:16:09,248
Okay.
360
00:16:09,348 --> 00:16:10,917
Yeah.
361
00:16:11,017 --> 00:16:12,719
Yeah, we could do that.
362
00:16:12,819 --> 00:16:14,153
We could definitely do that.
363
00:16:14,253 --> 00:16:15,286
Although, you know, the
water is pretty cold
364
00:16:15,287 --> 00:16:16,656
this time of year. Yeah.
365
00:16:17,857 --> 00:16:19,591
Okay, number nine, then.
366
00:16:19,592 --> 00:16:21,528
Run with the bulls in Pamplona.
367
00:16:21,628 --> 00:16:23,696
We've been saving for a
trip, we could do that.
368
00:16:23,796 --> 00:16:25,197
Yeah. When I wrote this list,
369
00:16:25,297 --> 00:16:27,700
I didn't know how mean
they were to the bulls.
370
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,536
Number ten.
371
00:16:29,669 --> 00:16:31,603
Eat every part of a cow.
372
00:16:31,604 --> 00:16:33,540
Yes, I can do that.
373
00:16:33,673 --> 00:16:35,174
I mean, over time.
Not in one sitting.
374
00:16:35,274 --> 00:16:36,307
No, of course not.
375
00:16:36,308 --> 00:16:37,844
How about this weekend,
376
00:16:37,944 --> 00:16:39,345
we go out for burgers?
377
00:16:39,445 --> 00:16:41,213
And not just any burgers. No?
378
00:16:41,313 --> 00:16:42,682
Smash burgers. Ooh.
379
00:16:42,815 --> 00:16:44,651
Number ten, I'm coming for you.
380
00:16:44,751 --> 00:16:46,553
Mark-mark... mark it off.
381
00:16:46,686 --> 00:16:49,288
Who knows, maybe
we'll even see Mr. T.
382
00:16:49,388 --> 00:16:52,024
Come on, Mr. T!
383
00:16:54,894 --> 00:16:56,062
Hey, babe. I'm back.
384
00:16:56,195 --> 00:16:57,664
You were gone?
385
00:16:58,464 --> 00:17:00,799
See, that's exactly it.
386
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,035
You're so obsessed
with that baby monitor,
387
00:17:03,169 --> 00:17:05,437
you didn't even
notice I was gone.
388
00:17:05,538 --> 00:17:07,173
How could I notice?
389
00:17:07,273 --> 00:17:09,542
Daphne's moving back
to Courtney's place.
390
00:17:09,642 --> 00:17:11,077
Who told you that?
391
00:17:11,177 --> 00:17:12,579
Marty and Courtney.
392
00:17:13,412 --> 00:17:15,081
Well, what did you say?
393
00:17:15,181 --> 00:17:18,551
Well, they didn't
tell me personally.
394
00:17:18,651 --> 00:17:20,653
I heard it on the baby monitor.
395
00:17:23,790 --> 00:17:25,357
You know that's
messed up, right?
396
00:17:25,457 --> 00:17:26,992
No, no, no. You know
what's messed up?
397
00:17:26,993 --> 00:17:29,328
They said that I was a lot.
398
00:17:30,863 --> 00:17:32,632
Well, you definitely
not a little.
399
00:17:33,499 --> 00:17:35,000
Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa.
400
00:17:35,001 --> 00:17:36,501
You agree with them?
401
00:17:36,502 --> 00:17:39,671
Okay. Say what you got to say.
402
00:17:39,672 --> 00:17:41,774
Okay, here's the thing, Tina.
403
00:17:41,874 --> 00:17:43,475
Your feelings
wouldn't even be hurt
404
00:17:43,576 --> 00:17:45,376
if you weren't listening in
405
00:17:45,377 --> 00:17:47,546
to other people's
private conversations.
406
00:17:47,647 --> 00:17:49,448
Marty and Courtney are
not "other people."
407
00:17:49,582 --> 00:17:51,622
And they don't know what
they're doing with my baby.
408
00:17:51,684 --> 00:17:53,185
Okay.
409
00:17:53,285 --> 00:17:55,121
And, see, that's
the other thing.
410
00:17:55,221 --> 00:17:56,923
She is not your baby.
411
00:17:57,023 --> 00:17:59,190
You know who you're
starting to sound like?
412
00:17:59,191 --> 00:18:00,760
Don't you say it.
I'm gonna say it.
413
00:18:00,893 --> 00:18:02,694
Don't you say it.
I'm gonna say it.
414
00:18:02,695 --> 00:18:04,039
Don't you say it.
I've got to say it.
415
00:18:04,063 --> 00:18:04,897
My mother!
416
00:18:04,997 --> 00:18:06,966
Damn it, you said it.
417
00:18:07,099 --> 00:18:08,668
I had to say it, Tina.
418
00:18:08,768 --> 00:18:10,469
It had to be said.
419
00:18:11,671 --> 00:18:14,373
You remember when my mama
used to re-diaper Malcolm?
420
00:18:14,473 --> 00:18:15,341
Huh?
421
00:18:15,441 --> 00:18:16,809
It made you mad, didn't it?
422
00:18:16,943 --> 00:18:18,077
No.
423
00:18:18,978 --> 00:18:21,046
It was helpful.
424
00:18:21,047 --> 00:18:22,481
Tina...
425
00:18:22,581 --> 00:18:23,482
I hated it.
426
00:18:23,582 --> 00:18:24,883
You know,
427
00:18:24,884 --> 00:18:26,653
I had just made
the perfect diaper,
428
00:18:26,753 --> 00:18:30,221
and she was always saying,
"Oh, that's too loose, Tina.
429
00:18:30,222 --> 00:18:32,090
"Oh, that's not
enough powder, Tina.
430
00:18:32,091 --> 00:18:35,394
Oh, that's not a diaper,
Tina. That's a washcloth."
431
00:18:35,494 --> 00:18:38,430
I mean, it happened one time.
432
00:18:38,530 --> 00:18:40,232
I was exhausted!
433
00:18:40,967 --> 00:18:44,536
Well, you're doing the
same thing to Courtney.
434
00:18:46,338 --> 00:18:48,273
You're right.
435
00:18:48,274 --> 00:18:51,177
What? Ooh, uh...
436
00:18:51,310 --> 00:18:52,778
I need to get that on my phone.
437
00:18:52,779 --> 00:18:54,346
You-you said I'm right.
438
00:18:54,446 --> 00:18:56,126
Say it again, one more
time, say I'm right.
439
00:18:56,215 --> 00:18:58,083
Just repeat right here
440
00:18:58,084 --> 00:18:59,285
into the camera. I'm right.
441
00:18:59,385 --> 00:19:01,220
Say it. "I'm right."
442
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:02,620
Say...
443
00:19:02,621 --> 00:19:04,757
Would your mama say it again?
444
00:19:09,461 --> 00:19:10,697
Your sugar must be low.
445
00:19:10,797 --> 00:19:12,398
I'm gonna get you a cookie.
446
00:19:15,167 --> 00:19:17,603
So, tonight, you're
sleeping at Mommy's,
447
00:19:17,704 --> 00:19:19,972
but Daddy will see
you tomorrow morning.
448
00:19:21,307 --> 00:19:22,842
Hello?
449
00:19:22,942 --> 00:19:24,010
Mom?
450
00:19:24,143 --> 00:19:25,678
Since when do you knock?
451
00:19:25,778 --> 00:19:29,548
People can change. I
respect your privacy.
452
00:19:30,449 --> 00:19:31,684
Okay.
453
00:19:31,784 --> 00:19:33,352
We need to tell you something.
454
00:19:33,452 --> 00:19:35,855
Ooh, before you do, I just
wanted to let you know
455
00:19:35,955 --> 00:19:37,556
that I do realize,
at some point,
456
00:19:37,656 --> 00:19:39,959
you're going to want to take
Daphne back to your place.
457
00:19:40,059 --> 00:19:41,193
Well... Um...
458
00:19:41,293 --> 00:19:42,528
And that's okay.
459
00:19:42,628 --> 00:19:43,962
That's okay. I just
wanted to let you know
460
00:19:43,963 --> 00:19:45,397
that when you do come back here,
461
00:19:45,497 --> 00:19:48,534
I promise to work on
462
00:19:48,667 --> 00:19:50,269
staying out of your space,
463
00:19:50,369 --> 00:19:52,604
'cause I know I can be a lot.
464
00:19:55,307 --> 00:19:57,043
You? What? That's crazy.
465
00:19:57,143 --> 00:19:58,577
Who said that?
466
00:19:58,677 --> 00:20:00,747
But I will always be there
467
00:20:00,847 --> 00:20:02,414
for you two and Daphne,
468
00:20:02,514 --> 00:20:04,050
whenever you need me.
469
00:20:04,183 --> 00:20:05,718
But only when you need me.
470
00:20:05,852 --> 00:20:08,420
So don't be scared to
say when you need me,
471
00:20:08,554 --> 00:20:09,798
because when you need
me... Okay, Mommy? Mommy.
472
00:20:09,822 --> 00:20:11,657
I need you to stop.
473
00:20:11,758 --> 00:20:13,425
But thank you, Mrs. B.
474
00:20:13,525 --> 00:20:15,627
I will definitely need you.
475
00:20:15,728 --> 00:20:18,097
Courtney, you're a good mom.
476
00:20:18,197 --> 00:20:19,398
Really?
477
00:20:19,531 --> 00:20:20,499
No...
478
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:22,401
No, I know that you are,
479
00:20:22,501 --> 00:20:23,936
I just didn't
think that she did.
480
00:20:24,837 --> 00:20:27,606
Well, I will leave you to it.
481
00:20:27,706 --> 00:20:30,309
I just want to take
this adorable cow
482
00:20:30,409 --> 00:20:33,746
as a keepsake for
my baby Daphne.
483
00:20:33,846 --> 00:20:35,815
Okay, bye, y'all. See you later.
484
00:20:39,018 --> 00:20:40,152
It's almost like she heard
485
00:20:40,252 --> 00:20:41,663
what we were talking
about last night.
486
00:20:41,687 --> 00:20:43,255
That cow was definitely
wearing a wire.
487
00:20:44,090 --> 00:20:46,058
I swear, that bear's eye
488
00:20:46,158 --> 00:20:47,559
looks like a camera lens.
489
00:20:47,659 --> 00:20:49,337
Yeah, I don't like the
look of this duck, either.
490
00:20:49,361 --> 00:20:50,561
Captioning sponsored by CBS
491
00:20:50,562 --> 00:20:51,998
and TOYOTA.
492
00:20:56,302 --> 00:20:59,738
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
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