Original subtitles

-Welcome back to "Joe Bob's Beelzebub Bash",

our double feature tribute to the "de-vil", the Evil One,

which has always been a staple of screenwriters.

When I think of great devils on film,

there's two that immediately come to mind for me.

One is, of course, Al Pacino,

who, you know, he decided to go big in "Devil's Advocate".

He's even crazier as Satan

than he was as Tony Montana in "Scarface", in my opinion.

And then -- What -- What is he trying to do?

He's trying to get Keanu Reeves to Aardvark with his half sister

so she can give birth to the Antichrist.

Isn't that what he's doing?

Anyway, I can't remember.

But then the opposite of that performance

is Vincent Price in "The Story of Mankind",

also a lawyer, though.

I wonder how many times the devil has been cast as a lawyer.

But he's well-dressed and logical,

and he's prosecuting mankind in a cosmic courtroom,

arguing that we're all hopeless,

presenting examples from throughout human history.

And Vincent Price loves it, though,

whenever the judge declares him to be out of order.

So, do you have a favorite film portrayal of Satan?

-Does Darkness in "Legend" count?

'Cause they don't really come out and say that he's the devil,

but I mean, come on, he's, like, red with horns.

-Tim Curry trying to destroy the unicorns.

I mean, how vile can you get?

-Exactly. Right.

But we need to give an honorable mention

to Liz Hurley in "Bedazzled",

'cause last time we talked about female Satans,

you left her out, even though I warned you.

-Uh-huh. -On the record, I warned him.

I got so much hate mail for leaving her out.

So, Liz Hurley in "Bedazzled".

-Alright, Darcy, the Mail Girl, ladies and gentlemen.

Here, as always, to field your questions,

your comments, your pertinent philosophical remarks.

Tweet with her, Insta her, e-mail her,

let her know you're here, and tell us what you think

about our second movie tonight.

I think this is the first time that we have ever shown

a brand new movie on "The Last Drive-In" --

a movie released in the same year that we're showing it.

-I don't know that that's "brand new".

-Well, okay, it's pretty new.

"Late Night with the Devil", very popular on Shudder.

Made something like 10 million bucks

at the Box Office domestic, 8 million overseas.

Third highest grossing IFC release of all time

when it was released this past spring.

And the star of that film, David Dastmalchian,

is an old friend of "The Last Drive-In".

He was with us for the season 5 Lucio Fulci tribute,

which ironically, was a fake late night talk show.

And so, you know,

when he comes out here to join us later tonight,

we can ask him whether he's made a decision

to do fake talk shows as a long-term career strategy.

Anyway, here's my question about

"Late Night with the Devil", though.

And that is...is the devil really in the movie?

Chime in on that after we've watched it tonight,

and if you haven't seen it,

you'll have to wait to see what I'm talking about.

But I'm not sure that the actual devil appears.

Anyway, here's my take on the whole "is the devil real" thing.

I don't believe in the Al Pacino devil,

or the Vincent Price devil,

or the unicorn destroying Tim Curry devil.

I believe in the Warner Brothers cartoons devil.

And I'll tell you, and by that I do not mean

the actual Tasmanian devil,

although I greatly admire Taz,

especially when he goes on the Looney Tunes Christmas specials.

Remember, he would eat Santa's sleigh and all the presents.

I love that particular episode. Anyway...

No, what I mean by the Warner Brothers cartoons devil

is the one that --

the devil that appears in the little bubble

above the character's shoulder

when the character is trying to make a moral choice,

you know, angel bubble over the right shoulder,

devil bubble over his left shoulder.

And that's what the devil is really like,

'cause that bubble comes from inside the character's head,

right?

The devil is your lying mind,

not the part of your brain that lies to other people,

but the part of your brain that lies to yourself.

So you're saying, "You know, I can do this,

and I will still be a good person".

And that's the devil -- the devil bubble talking.

But the angel bubble is popping up and saying,

"Not really, you're an asshole".

But angels are you.

And you can't make the -- you can't make

the not really devil shut up, you know?

So when you choose the devil bubble,

you have given in to the devil, which is you,

which is selfishness, 'cause, you know,

it all comes down to selfishness.

What is every crime? Selfishness.

Serial killing? Selfishness.

Because some guy says, "I wonder what her head

would look like on a stick".

And the angel bubble --

The angel bubble is all over that.

The angel bubble is going, "Fuck you".

[Stammers] And -- But you're saying,

"Fuck you, angel bubble, I'm going to get her head

on a stick", 'cause -- 'cause selfish, you know?

And so that's my concluding remarks on cognitive psychology,

behavioral meta ethics,

epistemology, and moral philosophy.

The answer is Bugs Bunny bubbles.

[Laughter]

That's where you find Satan.

Do you agree with that, Darcy?

-I would not really say Bugs Bunny.

-Who would you say? -For, like, the angel,

we would do Tweety, right?

-Tweety bird? -Tweety's much nicer than Bugs.

-You think Tweety Bird sits at the moral center

of the Warner Brothers cartoon universe?

-Yes, I do. -Okay.

Yeah, well, maybe Bugs Bunny is wrong, 'cause we can't --

I mean, we can't use Wile E. Coyote either,

'cause he would always choose the devil bubble, but...

[Laughter]

Porky Pig. -Oh.

-Porky Pig bubbles. Would you go with Porky?

-Yes, I would. -Okay, Porky Pig bubbles.

Look there and you will find the means of vanquishing evil.

And, uh, I'm not really clear on what we just did

or what I just said, but anyway. -I don't either.

So let's introduce the movie. -Alright. Let's do it.

What we have here is the sensitive story

of a late '70s TV host, Jack Delroy,

whose late night talk show "Night Owls"

just can't quite equal Johnny Carson in the ratings,

no matter what Jack does.

And he's got one last shot at avoiding cancellation

during Sweeps week.

So he's invited a psychic medium,

a professional debunker of psychic mediums,

a girl rescued from a devil-worshipping cult,

and the parapsychologist who wrote a book about her,

all to be guests on a very special Halloween episode.

Sure, we've seen it before, but have we seen it

with a giant worm sprouting from the eye

of the Ed McMahon-like sidekick?

I think not.

Let's take a look at those Drive-In Totals.

We have five dead bodies head splitting,

neck breaking, throat slitting, face melting,

one gut full of worms,

ritual dagger stabbing, projectile spewing,

glass shattering, one satanic private men's club,

one reanimated, tragically deceased wife,

gratuitous '70s history montage, gratuitous opening monologue,

gratuitous theremin, eye rolls,

demon possession fu, levitation fu.

Drive-In Academy Award nominations

for Rhys Auteri as Gus,

the talk show sidekick for saying,

"You're meddling in things you don't understand",

Ian Bliss as the skeptic Carmichael Haig

for impressive feats of hypnotism

and for asking, "Is this a talk show or a fucking freak show?",

Ingrid Torelli as the possessed girl Lilly

for being super freaky

and for telling Jack, "I think you're going to be famous soon",

David Dastmalchian as the desperate last night --

late night talk show host Jack Delroy for saying,

"If Earth swallows us up, I apologize in advance",

and the Cairnes Brothers, Cameron and Colin,

the directors and writers,

for doing things the Drive-In way.

Four stars. Joe Bob says check it out.

And, you know,

we were talking in the last movie

about all the professional Satan worshippers out there.

And we were talking about the Church of Satan.

There's the Church of Satan, that's the first one.

And then there's the Temple of Satan.

That's the one in Salem, Massachusetts

that wants to -- they want to say the opening prayer

at the Boston City Council meeting.

They're pissed 'cause they're like,

"How come the Catholics and Protestants

get to pray and we don't get to pray?"

And they actually filed a lawsuit.

And then there's the Reformed Church of Satan,

which is some guy in Michigan who has a beef

with the Zander Lafitte descendants in Poughkeepsie.

They moved to Poughkeepsie for the [Laughs]

for the Church of Satan.

But the ones that really fascinate me

are the Luciferians, okay?

They're based on an island in Denmark.

And they never say the word "Satan".

They only say "Lucifer".

And what they like about Lucifer is that he's hot.

-[Laughter] I mean, well, I mean,

every version of the devil is hot because of the whole,

you know, fire and brimstone thing.

But, I mean, Lucifer is uber handsome, hot.

You know, they put up naked pictures of his musculature,

if you know what I mean.

And I think you do. -I think I do.

-You know, I love Denmark. You know, the Danes...

The Danes are nine kinds of crazy,

but always in a good way.

The Danes, you know, first of all, I love the Danes

'cause the Danes are never going to nuke anybody.

The Danes are never going to cause any international trouble.

They're Vikings, you know.

They raped and pillaged back in the day,

but now they're Milo Vikings, you know.

They're having Viking sex, and they're smoking Viking weed.

You know, hashish is what they do over there.

[Stammers] They love the hashish.

But they're not going to spear anybody through the scrotum

like they would have done at one time.

You know, they're too busy

worshipping Lucifer's... musculature.

Anyway... -You're done now?

-I think I'm done. Yeah. -Okay, good.

Where did that come from? -I don't know.

-I don't know either. -[Laughter]

[Harmonica plays]

[Instrumental music plays]

♪

[Eerie music plays]

♪

[Slow tempo music plays]

♪

[Bird chirping]

[Dark ambient music plays]

♪

[Instrumental music plays]

♪

♪

[Doom metal plays]

♪

[Dark ambient music plays]

♪

[TV static]

[Indistinct shouting on TV]

[Rock music plays]

-Mindless violence lit up the sky.

-America -- the 1970's.

-The energy crisis is real.

-A time of unrest and mistrust.

-I have never been a quitter. -[Siren wails]

-It was a night of terror.

-A time of fear and violence.

-We are entering a satanic age.

Anyone who can't see that is...

-Television documents the chaos,

beams the horror into our living room.

-And so it is done.

-But it also offers comfort. -[Jazz music plays]

April 4, 1971, the first episode

of UBC's "Night Owls" goes to air.

The network's hopes for a late night hit

are riding on the shoulders of the host,

a popular Chicago radio announcer.

-Good evening, Night Owls.

I'm your host, Jack Delroy,

and thank you for allowing me into your living rooms

for the first of what I hope will be many, many shows.

[Chuckles]

I'd like to thank everyone

who helped bring this dream to life,

especially my dear mom and dad back in Berwyn, Illinois,

who I know are sitting in front of their TV set,

big smiles on their faces, watching "The Tonight Show"

with Johnny Carson.

[Laughter, applause]

-With its entertaining mix of interviews,

music, and sketch comedy,

"Night Owls" with Jack Delroy captures the hearts and minds

of midnight America.

[Cheers and applause]

-Well, I am sick of the crog, stuck in the cave all day

cooking your saber tooth stew.

-Wait, fellas, does this sound familiar?

-This is an Amazonian bird-eating spider.

-Looks like your furry little friend

might have gotten a better offer.

-[Woman screaming in distance]

-Don't panic. I got it, Jack. I gotta -- Excuse me, sir.

-Five nights a week,

Jack helps an anxious nation forget its troubles.

-[Laughing]

-In November 1972,

Jack inks a five year deal with UBC owner Walker Bedford.

-Welcome to the UBC family.

-What did you have to sacrifice to get here tonight?

-With an Emmy nomination to his name

and growing audience share,

Jack's sights are set on the coveted late night crown.

By Jack's side through everything

is his wife, the beloved stage actress Madeleine Piper.

Despite Jack's relentless quest to be number one,

they are considered one of showbiz's

happiest and most enduring couples.

Madeleine is his muse and his confidante,

but she is not his only source of support.

Jack's association with The Grove,

a men-only club located in the redwoods of California,

has been the subject of rumors since his days in radio.

Established in the 1800's

and counting among its members --

politicians, entertainers, and captains of industry --

The Grove has long portrayed itself

as a harmless summer camp for the rich and powerful.

[Men howling]

-But speculation swirls around its taste for arcane ceremony

and its power to make and break careers.

[Audience counting down] ...8, 7...

-Four seasons on, and ratings still fail to match Carson.

-[Instruments playing] -[Laughter]

The nominations mount, but no trophy.

Jack's reputation as perennial also ran starts to bite.

He knows that history remembers only kings.

Then, in September 1976,

Jack's world is turned upside down

when Madeleine, a nonsmoker,

is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.

In October, Madeleine makes a special appearance on the show.

-[Weakly] Jack and I first met

when I was doing "Oh! Calcutta!" at the Eden.

My, you should have seen him... blush when he came backstage,

and [Inhales deeply] was confronted

with all those glorious naked bodies.

Remember, darling? -Madeleine, I don't think

we need to talk -- -See?

He's blushing right now. -[Laughter]

How's a girl not supposed to fall in love with that?

[Audience exclaims]

-Isn't she something, ladies and gentlemen?

-It is the highest rating episode

in "Night Owl's" history,

but still falls a point short of Carson.

[Cheers and applause]

[Quietly] I love you, Jack.

-[Mouths] -[Solemn music plays]

-Two weeks later, Madeleine is dead.

[Sinister music plays]

[Camera shutter clicking]

A grieving Jack shuns the media.

He flees New York, his location unknown.

Just one month later, and to the surprise of many,

UBC announces his return.

-Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Jack Delroy.

[Cheers and applause]

-But the gap between Delroy and Carson continues to widen.

Jack and his longtime producer, Leo Fisk,

go out of their way to court controversy

in a bid to improve audience share.

[Indistinct shouting]

-You used to be the [Bleep] man, Jack.

What the [Bleep] happened to you?

Huh?

-We are going to take a break, and I'll --

I'll be right back. You will not.

-Where the [Bleep] do you think you're going?

Huh? -Open the [Bleep] door!

-Ratings are in freefall. Sponsors are nervous.

Jack's contract is set to expire.

Everything is on the line when Sweeps week begins

on Halloween night, 1977.

-[Speaks in French]

-A desperate Jack plans an episode

he hopes will turn his fortunes around.

-Let's get the audience in, guys.

-What you are about to see

is the recently discovered master tape

of what went to air that night,

as well as previously unreleased behind the scenes footage.

It is the live TV event that shocked the nation.

"Late Night with the Devil".

-Tonight's broadcast is brought to you

by the Cavendish Group of companies.

Let's shake on it.

-[Cheers and applause] -Live from UBC Studios

in New York City,

it's "Night Owls" with Jack Delroy.

Joining us on our spooky Halloween special,

Christou, Carmichael Haig,

Dr. June Ross-Mitchell with the subject

of her new book, Lilly,

Miss Cleo James with a bewitching jazz medley,

plus our annual Halloween costume parade.

But now here's Mr. Midnight, Jack Delroy!

[Cheers and applause]

[Laughs] Oh, boy.

Jack?

[Laughs]

Where the hell is he? -[Laughter]

Uh... Jack, you're on.

Leo, He's not... Oh! Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!

-[Laughs] -[Growls]

[Laughs]

[Cheers and applause]

-Gus McConnell, ladies and gentlemen.

-[Cheers and applause] -[Laughs] You.

-Oh, good evening, Night Owls, and thank you for allowing me

into your living rooms once again.

We've got an incredible show lined up for you tonight

as we celebrate all of the fiendish fun of Halloween.

Ooooh. Oh, hello. -[Theremin plays]

Um, what do you got there, Gus?

-A theremin, Jack. It's a musical instrument.

-Oh, that's not music, Gus.

That is actually the sound you get

when you're tuning your car radio

searching for music. -[Laughter]

-What's interesting about a theremin,

Jack, is you play it without touching it.

-So you're not meant to touch it?

-No, sir. No touching.

-Why, Gus, if only you'd shown the same restraint

at the Melody Burlesque after Friday's show.

-[Laughter, applause] -[Theremin stops playing]

We should raise the bar in here a little bit tonight, folks.

Um, anybody go to the Yankees parade?

-[Cheering] Yeah!

Any Reggie Jackson fans in here?

-[Cheering, applause] Knew she was.

Now, there's a rumor going around

thatCosmomagazine has approached Reggie

to be their very own Mr. October.

-[Audience exclaims] We can expect Reggie's

impressive home run spree to continue

well into the off season. -[Laughter, applause]

-One more. Hey! Oh! That one went over the fence.

Whew. [Laughs] -I don't get that joke.

-Oh, well. -[Laughter]

I guess we're gonna have to raise the bar

to Gus's standards now, folks. Uh, yeah.

So apparently President Jimmy Carter...

Really, Leo? You -- [Stammers] Well, okay.

Easy pickings, I guess.

Um, so President Carter held a press conference today

announcing a reorganization of his staff.

When asked if his brother Billy was part of the plans,

the president said that he'd offered Billy a chance

to head either the FBI --

is this true? -- or the CIA. Wow.

Apparently, Billy said he refused to head any agency

that he couldn't spell.

-[Laughter, applause] -[Rimshot]

-I get that joke. -You got it?

He got it. Gus got it. -[Laughs]

-Well, Night Owls, we've got a heck of a show

in store for you tonight, and I'm very excited

for you to see it all unfold before your very eyes.

I really hope you love it.

Gosh, I hope you love it.

Please love it because, well, it's...

[Spookily] Sweeps week. -[Instruments play spooky sound]

Ohhh! That's right!

Where is Vincent Price when you need him?

Boy, I tell you what.

Now Sweeps week, as we all know,

is the all important national ratings period.

But, hey, do I look nervous to you, Gus?

-You better believe it, Jack. -[Laughter]

-We all know how important it is

to keep our sponsors and affiliates happy.

But in my humble opinion, there is only one person

who really matters in this whole darn crazy business.

-Well, thank you, Jack. -And that is you, our viewers.

You have stood by me through thick and thin,

good times and bad.

Especially the bad.

It was your support that...

brought me back into this very studio

a year ago, when I could have easily thrown in the towel,

when many suggested that I should have thrown in the towel.

This show is, and it always has been for you.

-We love you, Jack! -[Audience exclaims]

-Leo, can we please get that woman and Nielsen viewing diary?

Come on. -[Laughter]

-Thank you all.

What do you say, Night Owls? On with the show, huh?

-Yeah! -[Applause]

-Interest in the occult

has seen a major revival, in recent years.

This is true -- you open any newspaper today,

you're going to see hundreds of ads

for psychics or fortune tellers.

Exorcists, even. Whoa!

Now, as you know, here on "Night Owls",

we think it's very important to keep an open mind.

Our first guest tonight -- I am so excited

about this young man --

is a shining light in this movement.

Some call him a medium, others, a spiritualist.

Some have even called him a miracle worker.

We know him by one name.

And well, that's probably because one name

is all he seems to have.

Ladies and gentlemen, please help me welcome

the mysterious, the mononymous Christou.

[Cheers and applause]

[Instrumental music plays]

[Music stops]

Thank you for being here. So it is just Christou.

Is that right? -Si. That is correct.

Thank you for inviting me onto your program.

-Oh, pl-- Thank you for taking time out

of your busy touring schedule.

You are a hot ticket these days,

I tell you what. -It is my pleasure.

-Now, as I understand it, a night like tonight,

a spooky night like Halloween,

holds a special significance for someone in your profession.

-That is correct.

All Hallows Eve is a time

to break open the doors to the underworld.

It is the last chance for the spirits of the recently deceased

to attend to any unfinished business.

-Ooh. -So that explains

the significance, then, of the Halloween masks.

-Si. Yes. We use them to hide from the angry spirits.

-[Laughter] -I'm so curious.

Do you hear these voices of the dead

all the time?

-The energy is ever present here.

-And then I guess the burning question

is how the hell do you get any sleep?

-[Laughter] -I mean, right?

-But just think of my mind like the ham radio,

picking up frequencies in the airwaves.

When I no longer want to listen,

I simply switch it off. [Snaps fingers]

-Just like that? [Snaps fingers] Wow.

Okay, well, then, I think it is time, ladies and gentlemen,

that we fire up those frequencies.

-The energy in here is very strong.

-Thank you, Phil. The floor is yours, sir.

Ladies and gentlemen, Christou.

[Cheers and applause]

-Oh.

I'm already receiving some signals here.

[Breathing shakily]

[Grunts]

The letter "P" I'm hearing.

Peter.

Pete.

No, wait. It's clearer now.

Peterson. I'm hearing the name Peterson.

-Peterman? -What? I'm sorry.

-Sir. You're up there.

Yeah. Okay, okay, sir. You can stand up back there.

Thank you. Hi. Mr. Peterson.

-Uh, no. Uh, my wife's maiden name was Peterman.

-Yes, that is it. Peterman. She's in the room with us now.

-She is? -Your wife has crossed over.

Si. -You could say that.

She ran off with my neighbor five years ago.

[Laughter]

-Sorry to hear that. -Oh. Don't be.

My golf game's never been better.

[Laughter]

-No, but there is a --

Now I'm hearing the name Elizabeth.

-No, her name was Helen.

-There was no Beth or Betty? -Correct.

-There was a Betty. -No.

You're correct. There was no Beth or Betty.

-I mean, starting with "B". -Oh, my name's Barry.

-That's not it. -No, it has been for 42 years.

[Laughter]

-Gone. The spirit has passed. I'm sorry.

Sometimes the signal gets scrambled.

Studio lights, cameras... I am only a messenger.

I concentrate. -Barry, have a seat.

Thank you so much. -Thank you.

-And you, sir.

Looks like you went on a shopping spree with Gus

down at, uh, Barney's Discount Costume Warehouse, huh?

-[Laughter] Got quite a steal on that, huh?

Don't be upset. I'm just ribbing you.

[Laughter]

Oh, yeah.

-I'm receiving something.

I'm getting a...Oh, yes. This intrigues.

Good evening, ladies. -Evening.

-[Women giggle]

-Who is...Edward?

Eddy?

He was a son or brother for one of you. Si.

-Edmund was my little brother.

-And you were the mother, si?

-Si. I mean, yes. [Chuckles]

-Deduction, Jack, not psychic powers.

-I am still impressed. -[Laughter]

-Something bad happened to Edmund.

It's...hard to talk about it.

-Yes. -Many questions remain.

-Well... -It may be that Edmund

took his own life, quite recently, too.

-Five years ago. -I know,

but it feels like only yesterday.

Such a terrible tragedy.

There was much confusion why he did this.

No, terrible sadness and confusion.

This is so... -There's no note. Nothing.

-You know, he was such a happy boy.

None of us knew he was in so much pain.

-Eddie wants you to know that he is at peace now.

He's sorry for the suffering he has caused.

He communicates this to you.

His heart is full of love.

[Chuckles]

Now I'm hearing the word papa.

-Well, dad was always dad. We never --

-No, wait. Um...

[Sniffles] When Edmund was little,

he had a teddy named Papa.

-This is true.

-I remember.

-I kept all these things. [Sniffles]

Can you please tell him that Papa is safe?

-I do not need to tell him this.

He already knows.

[Audience exclaims]

Thank you.

You are both so beautiful.

Bless you. Bless you all.

-Wow! -[Cheers and applause]

Wow!

Wow! What a gift.

Thank you. Christou. Wow!

Now, his tour dates should be showing up

on your screens momentarily.

We're going to have to take a quick break, folks.

When we come back, though,

one of the old friends of our show --

-[Shouting in pain] -Oh, my God!

-[Shouting continues]

-Christou?

-Something very intense here. [Gasping, grunting]

-Perhaps...Are we getting another message from Edmund?

-No, no, this is... [Shouting]

[Audience exclaims]

I'm getting the name...Minnie.

Does anyone here know a Minnie?

Please accept.

-Does this name mean anything to anyone in the studio?

No? Um, perhaps a name that sounds like Minnie?

Maybe it's, like, a Milly or a Mandy.

-I had a great Aunt Molly. -It's Minnie!

Please! Who will accept?!

So much sadness.

I see...a wedding ring.

An unmarried man with a wedding ring.

The spirit needs to talk to you.

Who are you?!

[Electricity crackling]

-It's okay, folks, just our old park hands acting up.

-[Breathing heavily]

-Gone.

She's gone. [Breathes shakily]

Sh-- Sh-- She's gone.

-Leo.

We're going to take a quick break,

and we're going to be right back after these messages.

-[Cheers and applause] -[Instrumental music plays]

-Let me just say this movie is already remarkable

for its evocation of 1970's cheesy late night television,

especially because they didn't just ape "The Tonight Show".

They dug into the history of failed talk shows

and created the vibe of shows that were chasing Johnny Carson.

You know, people who came of age after,

I don't know, 1972, probably don't have any idea

of what an immovable object Johnny Carson was in late night.

So, so much so that the other networks didn't even try

to compete against him.

Um, Jimmy Fallon, the current host of "The Tonight Show",

averages about 1.3 million viewers.

Johnny Carson averaged 15 million.

In 1969, he had a show that captured 85%

of the available viewing public --

45 million people.

That was the night that Tiny Tim married Miss Vicky on the air.

And then for Carson's final show in 1992,

he topped that record with 55 million viewers.

Those were unheard of numbers.

And to give you some idea, the World Series that year,

only 30 million viewers average each night. -What? That's crazy.

-So anyway, most people don't remember all the competitors

that constantly came and went in various efforts

to grab some of that late night audience.

In fact, I was a guest on one of those shows.

I was on "The Pat Sajak Show".

-Oh, I'm finding that. I'm finding that.

-1989. -I'll find it.

-Okay.

I remember it was on a brand new soundstage

that CBS built just for Pat in Television City,

that big studio at Beverly and Fairfax in LA.

The show lasted less than a year,

and Pat went back to "Wheel of Fortune",

and that was that.

But Sajak wasn't the only guy who tried

to fight the heavyweight champion of the world.

Joan Rivers did it.

And Carson never talked to her again.

Regis Philbin, Jerry Lewis had a late night talk show.

David Brenner, Alan Thicke, Ron Reagan, Dennis Miller,

David Frost, Bill Dana, Les Crane.

For many years, Dick Cavett had a show

that was sort of considered almost equal

to "The Tonight Show", but it eventually floundered

because it was thought of as intellectually highbrow.

It's a show where William Buckley

called Gore Vidal a name, a gay slur that I can't say.

-I was like, what name? -I can't say...

I can't say it on the air.

And... -I got it.

Yeah, and Georgia Governor Lester Maddox

stormed off the stage and refused to come back on.

So actually not very intellectual

'cause it had scenes like that. -[Laughter]

But maybe Cavett himself was too cerebral

for a general audience.

And then there were other strong shows

that went up against Carson -- Steve Allen...

Arsenio Hall. -Ooh! Ooh!

-[Laughs] Exactly. Joey Bishop, Merv Griffin.

But none of them, zero, ever topped Carson in the ratings.

Okay, so this is rich material

for "Late Night with the Devil" to work with,

but none of those shows that I just mentioned

were the inspiration for "Night Owls",

the fictional show hosted by Jack Delroy.

The writers of this movie, when they created it,

we're thinking of "The Don Lane Show"

and also shows hosted by Graham Kennedy and Bert Newton.

-Who? -[Laughs] Exactly.

-Who the fuck is Don Lane?

-Don Lane had a late night show

that ran for nine seasons in Australia.

-Oh, okay. -And then Kennedy and Newton

were also Australian talk show hosts.

And that's because this entire movie is Australian.

It was written and directed by Cameron and Colin Cairnes,

the Cairnes Brothers, who grew up in the suburbs of Brisbane.

And they're responsible for two other horror movies

that this audience would probably be familiar with --

"100 Bloody Acres" and "Scare Campaign".

But the reason that they have this uncanny ability

to recreate American late night television

so accurately is that all the American shows,

including Johnny Carson, were shown in Australia.

So they knew all our stuff,

but we didn't know any of their stuff.

And by the way, congratulations to all the actors in this movie.

Their American accents are so spot on

that I didn't even know they were Australian.

But every actor in the movie is Australian except for the lead,

David Dastmalchian,

who will be out here in just a few minutes

to entertain us with behind the scenes trivia

from Docklands Studios in Melbourne,

where they created the "Night Owl" soundstage,

and they lived there for 20 days.

Okay, back to the movie.

And also, did you notice this, Darcy?

This movie sets the all time record

for sitting through production company logos

at the beginning of the movie. -[Laughter]

-I mean, how could you not notice that?

Honestly. [Laughs] -I mean...

Were there 17 companies making this movie?

I mean, one of the companies was from Abu Dhabi.

You know, and they all had cool animated logos

that we had to wade through at the beginning of the movie.

-I mean, yeah, it was hard to miss that.

-Okay. Exactly. Okay.

You know, the MGM lion roars twice, right?

I mean, we're used to that. Leo the lion.

Three seconds, maybe four, you know.

We don't need 27 little animated short films

with the names of obscure producers

floating across the screen.

Some of those logos are 11 seconds.

11 seconds for a logo, something that could be one second,

and they're showing them when we're ready to watch the movie.

Right? -Right.

And we are ready to watch the movie.

-Oh, right. Yeah. Okay. -Thank you.

-Yeah. Sorry.

[Laughter]

[Harmonica plays]

-And we're clear.

Just the wardrobe. -[Alarm ringing]

-Hey, Mr. Christou, that was fantastic.

You are truly blessed. Jack, can we talk?

-Not right now, Gus. -It's just backstage.

They're saying you and Leo have got something cooked up

when that girl comes on.

-As far as I know, we're sticking to the rundown.

-Right. Right. -[Coughing]

-It's just I saw restraints, Jack, and -- and knives.

I've got to be honest with you,

we're a little spooked back there.

-Gus, what the hell are you doing here?

Get to wardrobe. -Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

-[Speaking indistinctly]

Mr. Christou, you look like you might need a bourbon.

-Just some water, please. -In this place?

I'll see what I can do. Some water for Mr. Christou.

Are you happy to stay with us a little longer?

-I really should-- -That's the spirit.

I can't wait to catch your act, by the way.

You've got some blood under your nose.

Jack, mind if we...? -Thank you.

-Jesus Christ.

The charlatan really went all out there.

-Oh, boy. That bit with the lights was your idea, wasn't it?

-If you liked it, yeah, I'll take full credit.

What'd you think about our friend Barry?

You okay, buddy? -Yeah.

That last -- -Look, whatever happened

was great television.

Don't let it rattle you.

Okay. Some orders of business.

We're running along late to break.

-Okay, but we're not bumping Cleo again.

-Well, we'll try to make up some time.

Oh, don't look now,

but Cavendish is new vice president of marketing,

and his wife is sitting in the front row

with the head of airtime.

You're looking directly at them.

I don't understand that. Hey, they want to talk to you.

They want to meet you.

-No, I don't have time to play kiss ass right now.

In case you hadn't noticed,

I'm trying to host a national syndicated talk show.

-And I'm trying to help you keep it on the air.

-McConnell? -Okay.

-Where's McConnell? -Next break, okay?

How's June? Did they land? She okay?

-She's fine. Just fine.

-Great. The girl? -Jack, will you please relax?

Everything's going very, very well.

Phil, what the hell's going on with those lights?

-We're working on it.

30 seconds, people.

-Hey. -Nothing's been fixed since --

-Hey, great show so far. -Thanks, Sammy.

How are you? -Good. How are you?

-I'm okay. How's my hair looking?

-Alright. You look great. -Good.

-Bats in the queue? -You are all clear.

-Okay. -Thank you.

-Jack, which card? -Hey.

-Is this necessary?

-You got a little bit of a sweat going on, honey.

-Please stop!

-Fine. Suit yourself.

-Hey. Hmm? -Fear not, friends.

Your humble sidekick has returned.

-[Laughter] -[Coughing]

-Stand by, everyone. -[Speaks indistinctly]

-Haig's on next. Pay him no mind.

He's all wax, no wick. Okay?

-And we're back in 5, 4...

-[Coughs]

-[Applause] -[Ghoulish music plays]

[Bat screeching]

-Thank you. Welcome back to our Halloween special, folks.

For those of you just tuning in,

Mister Christou here wowed us before the break

with the demonstration of his medium mystic powers.

It was really something. Am I right?

[Cheers and applause] Amazing.

Our next guest is someone equally renowned

in his own field.

Once known to us all as Carmichael, The Conjurer.

You remember him? Yeah.

Well, he hung up the wand several years ago

to become one of the leading voices of the skeptics movement.

Ladies and gentlemen, make welcome, if you dare,

Mr. Carmichael Haig.

-[Cheers and applause] -[Instrumental music plays]

It's so good to see you again, Car.

-It is wonderful to be here, Jack.

Mind if I smoke? -Please, be my guest.

Oh, boy, that was good. -[Audience exclaims]

[Exclaiming continues]

Wow.

He's still got it.

Ladies and gentlemen. -Holy smoke! [Laughs]

-Come...Come on. -[Applause]

I'm right here.

Car, we all know you from the Vegas shows,

the TV specials.

Your group hypnosis routine was the first of its kind.

Absolutely boggled my mind when I saw it.

Many regarded you as the best in the biz.

And I know my saying that won't embarrass you.

-Correct on all counts. Continue, dear friend.

-[Laughter] -But in recent years

it seems you've turned your attention

to something a little more, shall we say, philanthropic?

-You mean IFSIP. -IFSIP.

Now, IFSIP, for those of you not in the know,

is an acronym it stands for -- let me get this right here --

the International Federation of Scientific Investigation into the Paranormal.

Ooh, it's a lot of words.

We've got some pictures up right here. Take a look.

-Photogenic lot, aren't we?

Yes, it is our mission to test these claims

and determine what is trickery

and what may in fact be genuine sci phenomena.

Oh, that's me about to embark

on a little ghost hunt in Amityville.

My dear friends Ed and Lorraine Warren

declined the invitation to join me.

Easily spooked. -Car, be honest with me.

What is the harm for those of us

who just want to believe in something mysterious,

something bigger than ourselves?

Hmm? -Yeah, I'm the first to admit

the world would be a more interesting place

if, uh, if people could magically bend spoons,

or divide water with a stick, or...

...talk to the dead. -[Audience exclaims]

But until I am presented with irrefutable proof,

I will continue to expose these men and women

for the swindlers they are.

-Still carry that check with you, Car?

-Oh, yes.

We offer a not insubstantial reward

for anyone whose claims can be verified.

-Can we get a shot on this? Camera 1.

100 grand. -[Audience exclaims]

How many have taken up the challenge?

-Oh, dozens. -[Coughs]

-And how many checks have you signed?

-Yet to sacrifice a nickel, Jack.

-Tonight might be the night, though, folks.

Right? -[Cheers and applause]

-I do not need this man's money.

-No, I imagine you don't.

Not when there are so many naive but well-meaning people

prepared to hand over their hard-earned.

-[Coughing forcefully] -You okay? Okay.

Can you drink the water? You okay?

-[Chugging, gulping]

I'm alright. Thank you. -Okay.

-Um, now, Car, explain to us Mr. Christou's readings,

then, before we went to break.

-What I saw was an admittedly accomplished performer

digging from a bag of tricks

that goes back to biblical times.

By my count, Christou flopped no less than five times

before he hit on the tenuous Peterson connection.

-It was Peterman! -[Laughs]

He's flawless, in hindsight. -Okay, Car.

But I observed nothing untoward

when Mr. Christou appeared to connect these two ladies

with their deceased son.

We all saw that. Everyone here. Right?

-Which I would say

even a broken clock is right twice a day.

-One slice! -[Audience booing]

-You no more have the power of divination

than I resemble Burt Reynolds. -[Laughs]

-You, sir, like me, are a liar, a cheat,

a charlatan, and a fake.

The difference being, I'm honest about it.

-Come on.

-Oh, okay. -Flair for the theatrical

doesn't go astray. -Christou, wait!

I-I still have to ask you something.

Please. We have not yet discussed the last reading.

-Yet another cold trail. Minnie. Molly. Mandy. Anyone.

-Put a sock in it, will you, Car?

Enough.

Funny as it may seem...

I actually believe that that last reading...

may have been meant for me.

-Yes?

Minnie, who? Who's Minnie?

-Minnie is the private nickname for...

Madeleine, my wife. -[Audience exclaims]

-Mm. -Your wife?

Yes. Sh-- She crossed over, didn't she?

[Stifled cough] -An unmarried man

wearing a wedding ring. -[Audience exclaims]

I think you meant this.

-Jack, please.

Half the people in this room are wearing one.

-Okay. -And Madeleine's death

was hardly a secret.

This is what I'm talking about.

It is a statistical certainty

that some fool will take the bait.

Don't be that fool. -What are you up to, Car?

-Let's see if the mad monk really can conjure up

the spirit of your dead wife live on air.

Half a million dollars should be incentive enough, no?

-[Audience exclaims] -Christou?

-[Grumbling] -Buddy?

-[Audience shouting] -God damn it, man!

-Go to commercial! Go to a goddamn commercial!

-[Alarm ringing] -Clear!

-It's okay. It's gonna be okay. You're just overtired, baby.

-Something's not right! -I need a doctor!

-Get him to his dressing room now.

And someone just clean up all this mess.

-The Surgeon General strongly advises taking Pepto-Bismol

before speaking with the dead.

So, is anyone here from out of town?

This was a gift from Charles Laughton,

I'll have you know.

You, you, you. [Snaps fingers]

Fetch the burgundy blazer from my portmanteau, will you?

-Christ, it must have been a seizure or something.

-You play the "aw, shucks" mid-westerner so well, Jack.

That bit about Madeline and your secret nickname,

very impressive. -What are you talking about?

-There are only three ways he could have known about that.

One, he's actually psychic,

which we both know is impossible.

Two, he got lucky. Possible, but highly improbable.

Or three... -You think that I told him?

-I wouldn't blame you if you did.

A little on-air drama can't be bad for ratings, right?

-Right, right. -I do read the trades, Jack.

I'd have thought your high powered friends at the Grove

could pull a few strings.

-I think you overestimate their influence.

-You must invite me along one of these days.

I'd love to know if the rumors are true.

The secret handshakes, the orgies, the arcane ceremonies.

But mostly the orgies. -Jack, rundown briefing.

-Give me an audience with the Grand Poobah, Jack.

I'll fit right in. -Good man, Sticks.

-I told you not to leave me alone with that asshole.

-What am I, your mother? The ambulance is coming.

You can talk to Cavendish in the next break.

Extenuating circumstances.

-Any word from Bedford yet?

-The switchboard lit up like a Rosenburg, though.

-People are upset? Offended? -Angry. Confused.

-None of which is terrible news, of course.

-Mr. Fiske? -No, no, no, no, no.

This comes out on the next break.

Check your rundown. -[Alarm ringing]

-Straight to the door. -Oh, shit.

-I'm not picking up anything down here, Steve.

You picking up anything weird, Lou?

-Just get it together! -We're on in 5, 4...

-Oh, not my chair.

-[Cheers and applause] -[Instrumental music plays]

-Thank you.

And thank you to everyone

who's been calling in to check on Mr. Christou.

Don't be alarmed, folks.

He is receiving medical attention backstage as we speak.

-They needn't bother.

The man is perfectly fine, I assure you.

-Well...

-Your dry cleaner may disagree, Car.

[Laughter]

-Well, that's just an old vaudeville routine.

Spouting they call it. Control regurgitation.

-Anyway,

I certainly hope you're going to keep that check handy.

-The che-- -Your breast pocket.

-[Laughs]

-[Audience exclaims] -Silky as ever, Car.

-He got you, Jack. -[Laughter]

-My sixth sense is telling me we may just see this check again

before the night is through. -I very much doubt that.

-Wait until you meet our next guests.

-Giddy with excitement, Jack. -You should be.

-[Laughter] -Now about a --

[Siren wailing in distance]

About a month ago,

a manuscript happened to cross my desk that...

well, I haven't been able to stop thinking about,

quite frankly, the book.

"Conversations with the Devil"

by Dr. June Ross-Mitchell hits shelves this week,

and it is certain to challenge

more than a few skeptics out there.

Now, before I bring on the doctor

and the young subject of the book,

I wanted to share with you all a clip produced by June's

Sci Research Center.

Hopefully catch us all up to speed,

but please be warned,

anyone with young children in the room,

what you're about to see is profoundly disturbing

and shocking.

Can we roll the tape, please?

-A seemingly ordinary house on an ordinary street.

-[Bell ringing] Only this is the headquarters

of the infamous first church of Abraxas.

-I command thee to come forth

and bestow these blessings of hell upon us.

Hail Abraxas! -[Congregation] Hail Abraxas!

-The church's founder and leader,

the enigmatic Szandor D'Abo.

-Abraxas shows us there is no good, no evil, no redemption.

Only what we desire and how we obtain it.

-You make it sound very easy, Monsieur D'Abo.

-Make no mistake.

The master demands sacrifice.

-D'Abo's activities come to the attention of the FBI,

who suspect the cult of kidnapping and firearm offenses.

But even more alarming are the stories

of children being bred for human sacrifice.

-...and the spilling of blood.

Come forth. Open the gates of hell.

-D'Abo claims that anyone

who witnesses these dreadful rituals

will fall under the spell of the demon Abraxas,

and so perform his earthly bidding.

-And so it is done.

-Events take a tragic turn in August '74,

when federal agencies lay siege to the house.

-Shots have been fired.

-After a tense three-day standoff,

D'Abo commands his followers to douse the premises,

and themselves, in gasoline.

[Sirens wailing]

But remarkably, among the smoldering ruins,

a terrified 10-year-old girl is discovered.

She goes only by the name of Lily.

Her memories of her time in the house, fractured and incomplete.

Was her survival part of D'Abo's wicked master plan,

or was she simply the lucky one?

At a loss to explain Lilly's strange behavior,

the FBI contacts my Sci Research Center.

Lilly and I make an immediate connection.

Important breakthroughs follow,

but there is still much work to be done.

It's 2:30 p.m. July 10, 1976.

This is a recording of our first session.

-[Lilly Breathing heavily]

-Okay. It seems we've made contact.

Who am I speaking to now?

Is this the demon known as the --

-[Screaming loudly]

-Hold her tight.

We need your help in here!

[Shouting wildly]

[Shouting stops abruptly]

-Wow.

Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome Dr. June Ros- Mitchell

and Lilly.

-[Cheers and applause] -[Instrumental music plays]

-You can come out.

-Hi. -[Audience exclaims]

Lilly.

How are you?

Whoa! Good to meet you.

So good to see you again, June. -You, too, Jack.

-And Lilly, so pleased that you could join us today.

-Thank you, Mr. Delroy.

I'm so glad you could join us, too.

[Laughter] -Now, Lilly, um,

you don't have to look at the camera.

You can actually talk directly to me.

-Oh. I'm sorry. -Don't be silly.

I want to start with a tough question, if that's okay.

I'd like to know...

have you ever watched my show before?

-[Laughter] -No.

I'm normally in bed by now.

But I know who you are, Mr. Delroy.

-Oh, please. You can call me Jack.

-June says you're very handsome, Jack.

-[Audience exclaims] -[June chuckles nervously]

-You're the man whose wife died of cancer.

-Lilly, I don't think Jack wants --

-I was very sad when I heard about that.

I know what it's like to lose people who are close to you.

It's lonely at first, but you'll get through.

-Such wise words from one so young, huh?

-Lilly has been through more in her 13 years

than most adults go through in a lifetime.

-And you needn't worry about your TV show.

I think you're going to be very famous soon.

-Why, thank you for the reassurance.

I was beginning to wonder, Gus.

-Me, too. -[Laughter]

-You're welcome.

-Okay, well, we're going to take a break.

Um, but on the other side --

yes, the other side --

we're going to spend some time getting to know

these two extraordinary ladies.

-[Instrumental music plays] -[Cheers and applause]

[Indistinct chatter]

-Okay, so far everything on the show

is a version of something from "The Tonight Show" in the '70s.

The goofy -- well, he's not the bandleader,

but he stands in front of the band,

he's the sidekick -- that guy is a version...

well, he's a version of two people.

He's Doc Severinsen, the trumpet player

who directed "The Tonight Show" band,

and Ed McMahon.

And then Christou is a version

of two Johnny Carson regular guest sidekicks.

One was The Amazing Kreskin,

and the other was The Amazing Criswell.

And then Carson himself was a magician,

and he loved magic acts, but he especially loved

magic acts that used spiritualism as a hook.

But he also loved a debunker of psychic phenomena

named James Randi,

who started out as The Amazing Randi

because he was a mentalist himself.

But then he turned against his own profession,

and he would come on the show to expose frauds like Uri Geller

by explaining how his ability to bend spoons with his mind

is actually just an optical trick.

James Randi also had a connection

to "The Don Lane show",

but for the opposite reason.

Don Lane actually believed in Uri Geller

and stormed off his own show

when James Randi exposed a trick.

So Christou is played by Fayssal Bazzi,

an Australian actor

who was in another notorious found footage film called

"We're Not Here to Fuck Spiders" in 2020.

[Laughter]

That's -- Apparently, that's --

-I mean, speak for yourself. -Australian --

-That's a phrase in Australia.

People say that, you know.

Anyway, that movie is supposedly hidden cameras

in the house of a crystal meth dealer in South Sydney.

So you see this imprisoned girlfriend

and all these corrupt cops and criminals

that come through South Sydney.

Anyway, besides looking a little like Omar Sharif, in my opinion,

Bazzi has that gold Nehru jacket,

and that is just perfect for this.

And then when the James Randi clone comes out,

that is Ian Bliss, who you may recognize

as the villain Bane from "The Matrix" sequels.

And he's got that self-righteous air of contempt

that makes himself unlikable,

even though you know he's probably right.

And that was exactly like James Randi.

I should mention two other references.

Supposedly, Lilly, the girl rescued from the cult,

was a survivor of a raid on a religious compound that will,

of course, remind everybody of the David Koresh cult in Waco,

the Branch Davidians, where 84 people died in that FBI raid,

but the filmmakers were using real footage of another FBI raid

that also ended in a bonfire of death.

And that was the FBI's attempt to serve warrants

on the Symbionese Liberation Army in L.A. in 1974.

Almost everybody died in that raid, too.

And then there have been 2 or 3 references to The Grove.

Jack Delroy is a member of this secret fraternity

of extremely wealthy and powerful men

who gather in the woods

and perform strange rites together

and supposedly network behind the scenes.

And there is such a club, and it's called the Bohemian Grove,

and it's in Monte Rio, California,

in the Redwood Forest north of San Francisco.

And one of the founders of it, back in the 19th century,

was Ambrose Bierce, one of my favorite writers.

So I have read everything ever printed about him

and everything he's ever written.

And I can guarantee you that if Ambrose Bierce was involved,

anything was possible

and especially anything was possible

as to orgiastic indulgence, so...

If you know what I mean, and I think you do.

So Carmichael, the skeptic,

is both exposing Delroy's membership

and sort of asking to attend one of the orgies at The Grove.

So anyway,

why am I speculating about whether Jack Delroy did

or did not indulge in esoteric rites in the woods of Northern California,

when the man himself is here with us tonight?

Please welcome David Dastmalchian.

[All whooping]

-Here, here. -Good to see you, David.

-Thank you for having me. -Alright.

-Thank you. -David, where's your snake?

Where's your snake? -Oh, I think the last time

I saw you, I was draped in snake.

-Yeah, they told me you were a snake handler.

We were doing a parody of late night talk shows.

You come on as the snake handler,

holding a giant boa constrictor.

You told me you'd been handling snakes for, like, half a day.

-About half of it. -Why did you do that, David?

-Because it was an opportunity to get to come

and be with you guys. -Okay, well...

-There it is. Yes.

And, you know, and fulfilling a lifelong dream

of getting to be on late night.

-So you lied to -- as a snake handler?

-It's show business. -Okay.

-Come on. This is how it works.

-Alright, well, congratulations

on the runaway success of "Late Night with the Devil".

-Thank you. -Which you carry the movie

from beginning to end.

And when I hear people talk about your performance --

And everyone loves your performance.

I've heard people say that you're doing

a little bit of Dick Cavett.

They always say you're doing a little bit of Don Lane

because of this Australian thing.

And so... And I've never seen Don Lane,

so I don't know if you are or not.

How did you -- Who did you study

and how did you study for your attitude on this?

What tapes did you look at?

-Started with Johnny Carter.

The amazing wealth of footage

that's on YouTube at these -- at this point is amazing.

And I go to bed at night, and I would put on

Johnny Carson old tapes and watch Johnny Carson

or David Letterman, and then Colin and Cameron Cairnes,

who wrote and directed the movie.

They told me about Don Lane, and I fell down a Don Lane,

uh, rabbit hole and also I thought,

I want a little pepper of everybody in here,

the people especially, who like to push the limits

a little bit for ratings.

So I pulled a little Phil Donahue,

a little Morton Downey Jr. I was thinking about --

-Listen, I want to stop you there

because I did not see anybody mention that,

but I see that Phil Donahue in your performance,

the smarmy part of Phil Donahue.

'Cause Fred Olen Ray, if you know who that is,

and we went on "The Phil Donahue Show"

years ago, and he just destroyed us.

Phil just destroyed us. -What?

-Yeah, we were on "The Phil Donahue Show".

-We are finding that footage, too.

-He brought a scream queen on there,

and Phil Donahue thought we were scum.

I mean, but he did it in that cloying,

patronizing way that makes his studio audience happy, you know?

-But he was plus in those ratings.

He loved it. He'd get as much shock as he could.

But Don Lane, what I loved about Don,

like you said, did he believe in Uri Geller?

Absolutely. Did he want to believe in something?

And I think that was what made him, uh,

he just -- he was -- -He wore his heart

on his sleeve. -He absolutely did.

Yeah. Yeah. -You know, anyway,

we're going to go back to the movie,

but stick around because...

And, um...And what do they do at Bohemian Grove?

Did you make a deal with Satan to get better ratings

when you were out there in the woods with, uh,

Sammy Davis Jr. or whoever --

whatever celebrities were out there?

-Orgiastic splendor, as you say. Well, The Grove, sure.

It's a shopping center somewhere off Fairfax and, uh...

Yeah, I go there for the Barnes and Noble

and the Cold Stone Creamery, I think.

-Okay, I could see --

I could actually see Johnny Carson

hanging out at The Grove if he was invited.

So, um, do you have any questions for David, Darcy?

-Well, I really wanted to talk about the comics.

-Oh, the comics, the comics. Sure. The comic books. Yeah.

I'm getting an extension cord 'cause I'd like to do a plug.

-You're also a creator of comic books.

And by the way, did you move from Dark Horse to DC?

-I'm in an orgiastic whatever.

I want to meet with everybody.

So I'm doing -- DC is allowing me to resurrect,

in comic book format, one of my favorite comics

from the old "Weird War Tales"

when I was a kid that was called the "Creature Commandos",

where you've got a werewolf, a Frankenstein's monster,

a Gorgon, and [Stammers] these creatures

who are recruited to fight on behalf of the U.S. Army

and do things that they wouldn't want to send regular soldiers.

-But your regular comic is at Dark Horse, right?

-"Count Crowley", which is inspired

by Crematia Mortem,

who was my childhood Creature Feature host.

-Okay, I'm going to ask you about that later.

-Yep. -Alright?

And, uh, Image is letting me do "Knights Vs. Samurai",

which comes out next month, and it's pretty much how it sounds.

There's knights, there's samurai.

The only thing that's not in the title is dragons,

'cause there are dragons. -So you are deep,

deep, deep in the comics world? -I love the comics,

and I love old horror movies,

so I think I'm at the right place.

-Alright. -Thanks.

-Alright, well, roll the film.

And the reason I use Sammy Davis Jr. as an example --

-Him and Anton Lavey. -...in the orgy is, uh...

In The Grove, he actually did join --

Sammy Davis Jr. actually did join the Church of Satan.

And he was known to be an orgy lover.

And they probably have a plaque on the wall

at the Bohemian Grove clubhouse with Sammy's picture

and his orgy totals on it.

Or maybe not, but... -He was a good time.

-His orgy totals. -[Laughs]

-Please.

[Harmonica plays]

-And we're clear. -[Alarm rings]

-Great. That was great, ladies.

Lilly, you are adorable. -Thank you, Jack.

And which camera do I look at now?

-Um, well, we're off air, so none.

Time to make ourselves pretty again.

-Hey, Jack.

Don't I already look pretty, Jack?

-You're good.

-Sure you do. -Hi. I'm Lilly.

-Jack, we need to talk. -Let me take that for you.

-Thank you. -Wow. Weird kid.

-Meet you right down there.

[Quietly] That was great.

You ready?

-This is so much fun.

-Welcome to the dream factory, kid.

-I really don't think it's a good idea, Jack.

She's becoming more unpredictable.

-Unpredictable? That's a good thing.

-That's why we still do live TV.

I mean, it's what's gonna help sell your book.

-This isn't about the book. -Isn't it?

-Yesterday, she went into one of her fugue states,

and she, uh... she started saying your name.

-She's excited about being on the show.

-No, it was as if she was recalling something.

It was hard to make sense of it,

but it was strange, even for her.

-Look, you are ready for this.

You told me that you're ready, alright?

You know you did it. -Yes, well,

there may have been a few lapses of judgment on my part that...

-This is your time. You've done the work.

You're not going to back out right now.

-Yeah, I admit you made a convincing case.

But my first responsibility is to Lilly.

And I'm telling you, it's too risky.

-No, I -- -I should get back to her.

-She's not getting cold feet, is she?

-She's fine. She is fine. -[Sighs]

-I'm handling it!

-Hey, Jack. -Hey.

-Okay, so just got a call from Sinai.

Christou is dead.

-What? -He had some kind of hemorrhage

in the ambulance.

-Holy shit. -I know.

-No. No, no, no. I thought that that was all part of his act.

The -- What did Haig call it? Spouting?

-Well, apparently he was spouting from, well, everywhere.

The paramedics couldn't get it under control.

-Jesus Christ! -I know. I know. I know.

-[Quietly] Listen, nobody can find out about this.

Especially not Gus. -I'll do the best that I can.

But you know how quickly word spreads around here.

-Staging, where's my sacrificial dagger?

We're on in 60 seconds.

-Hey, hey, Phil, has the rundown changed?

Staging's saying something about a new bit

and seg five and I don't -- -Okay. Shh, shh, shh.

Look, I'm telling you, Steve, whatever it is,

we're not seeing it on the monitor down here.

-Hey, Phil! -You just keep switching

cameras, and I'll make sure everybody gets their cues, okay?

-Phil! Phil! -Stand by, everyone.

-Phil! -And there was a questionnaire

you had to complete before coming in, you said?

-Yeah, that's right. -Oh, and there was a lady

in the lobby who asked a bunch of questions, too.

-Oh, yeah.

It was the same woman who came out

and helped Mr. Christou when he...

-Oh, yes, I know. Most disturbing, wasn't it?

Thank you, ladies.

-Thank you.

[Indistinct chatter]

-Is everything okay, Jack?

-Yeah, everything is fine, sweetie.

-10 seconds.

-[Whispers] Where the hell is Haig?

[Alarm ringing]

-And we're back in 5, 4...

-[Cheers and applause] -[Ghoulish music plays]

-And welcome back to our very special Halloween edition

of "Night Owls".

Now, ladies, there is so much

that I'd like to discuss with you both,

but I want to start with you, June.

Now, you call yourself a parapsychologist?

What exactly does that -- -I call myself one

because that's what I am, Jack.

It so happens I have a PhD in the subject.

-From the University of Hogwash, if I'm not mistaken.

-The Stanford Research Institute, actually.

-The difference being?

-Is it really worth us continuing

if this man is going to interrupt every time

you ask a question? -Car, please behave.

-As I was going to say,

we parapsychologists believe there are certain phenomena,

sci phenomena,

that traditional science is ill equipped to understand.

Telepathy, for example, telekinesis,

apparitional anomalies. -Demonic possession.

Psychic infestation is the term we prefer.

But yes.

-And it's your belief that Lilly here presents just such a case.

-For the past three years,

I've been combining age regression therapy

with a growing understanding of ancient satanic rituals

to piece together the details of Lilly's life

and to grasp the nature of the demon that lurks within her.

-This is the demon Abraxas

that the charming Mr. D'Abo spoke of in your clips?

-No, I believe it's more likely one of the minor deities

said to serve Abraxas.

These entities thrive on our confusion.

-And our stupidity.

-Look, I understand that some of this

might seem to stretch credulity, but remember,

big new scientific ideas are always greeted

with some resistance.

It's only the most closed minded that greet them with ridicule.

[Cheers and applause]

-Incidentally, we have some pieces here

from your private collection.

Whew. Okay, well, girl's got to have a hobby, huh?

-[Laughter] -That dagger was recovered

from the remains of the D'Abo House.

We believe it was used in many of the church's

sacrificial ceremonies.

-No! Oh, God!

[Struggling] I can't stop it.

Turn off your TV sets before Abraxas claims your souls.

-Car.

-[Chuckles] You truly are a suggestible lot.

Handy to know. -Mr. Haig,

we haven't come on here for your amusement.

-Don't be silly, my dear.

If we accept the Gnostic interpretation,

Abraxas is the consummate showman.

He craves an audience.

After all, his name is the source of the magician's

favorite incantation. -Abracadabra.

-Clever girl.

-Now, Lilly, I understand that you have a name for this thing

that lives inside of you.

-Mm-hmm. I call him Mr. Wriggles.

-Why do you call him that?

-He kind of wriggles his way inside my head,

and then he wriggles his way out.

-But with June's help, you are able to control him.

-June says that everyone has a demon inside them,

but we can't always control them, can we?

[Theremin plays]

-Gus.

-I got it, Jack.

[Electricity crackling]

♪

-Gus! Is there an off switch for that thing?

-How the hell should I know?

[Loud feedback, rumbling]

[Glasses shattering]

[Screams]

[Feedback stops]

-It was feeding back through your PA system.

-No. -It's the same physics

as when a soprano hits "G" over high "C."

Poof!

-Okay, Car, but come on. That was --

-He's wrong, you know?

It was Mr. Wriggles. -[Whispers] Mr. Wriggles?!

-He did it.

-If you insist, little one.

-Why must you be so condescending, Mr. Haig?

-Lilly, do you mean

that Mr. Wriggles is here in the studio with us right now?

-Mm-hmm.

-Would it be okay if we invited him on the show?

-Jack, I thought I made it clear...

-I think so. -No, I can't allow that.

A summoning requires a carefully controlled environment.

The lights, cameras, audience --

conditions here are hardly conducive.

-A TV studio's a controlled enough environment for my money.

-Half a million bucks, to be precise.

-Can we? June, please!

-Yeah! -We want to see!

-Come on, June. -Come on, June.

-We want to see. -Do it!

-Come on!

-We want to see! -Show us, June.

-Come on, June!

-The people have spoken.

-If I'm able to conduct the session

with the full cooperation of your crew, your audience,

and your guests,

then perhaps we can attempt a brief demonstration.

-Yeah! -Yes, of course.

[Applause]

This is great news. It's great news.

Ladies and gentlemen, please stay tuned

for a live television first

as we attempt to commune with the devil.

But not before a word from our sponsors.

♪

-Clear! [Bell rings]

Step lively, people. We have two minutes

to prep the main stage, checks on June and Lilly.

-You bastard. You ambushed me.

-You didn't require too much convincing, dearie.

Bread and circuses. -You shut up.

This is your chance to prove people like him wrong.

This is your moment, June.

-Did you hear anything I said back there?

You know, for a talk show host, you're a terrible listener.

-Is somebody gonna clean up the glass?

-Lilly's okay with it. Aren't you, sweetheart?

-Sure, Jack. -Can I get you two ladies

to follow me downstage, please?

-Mm-hmm. Yeah.

-Jack, can I get a minute? -Can it wait?

-No, sir. It cannot.

-Excuse me, uh, Phil.

There are some restraints backstage.

Would you mind? -Sure.

-I hope you know what you're doing, lady.

-We know what we're doing, Sammy. Don't we, June?

-Jerry, you got the new lighting cues?

-What?

-You're meddling with things you don't understand.

-Okay. If we...

manage to conjure Satan,

I give you express permission to go right for that exit.

Okay? If Earth swallows us whole, I apologize in advance.

Okay? -What has gotten into you?

Half an hour ago, you thought

Madeleine was trying to reach out to you from the grave.

And now... -Now -- Now, buddy,

all I'm trying to do is save our fucking show. Okay?

So enough with the sanctimonious crap.

-I know about Christou.

It's that Mr. Wriggles, isn't it?

He's behind this whole thing.

-Who else knows about Christou?

-Crew's scared, Jack. I'mscared.

Okay? Some of us are talking about jumping ship.

-No one's going anywhere, God damn it.

And you need to keep this fire-and-brimstone bullshit

to yourself. Please, Gus?

Okay? -You are not a bad man, Jack.

You're not. And I am begging you

to stop this before something terrible happens.

-Jack, you're gonna intro the girls downstage.

-Mm.

-Is there a problem here?

-Stand by, everybody.

-There's no problem.

[Bell rings]

-We are back in five...

four...

-Well, before we attempt to commune with the devil,

I should ask you, David,

um, how spooked were you by Lilly?

Because that is one deranged performance.

She looked freaky to me. -She's terrifying.

Ingrid, this actor, she's so sweet, so nice.

You know, like all actors. How's it going?"

I'm walking down past her dressing room at one point.

"Hey. Good morning, Ingrid."

And she's in there getting ready,

and she's looking in the mirror, getting in character.

And there is something in her eyes

that just utterly, diabolically perplexed

and scared the living crap out of me.

And then, when we were on set together,

and she'd go into that face and that voice and I thought,

"Oh, crap, she's really creepy, but she's a teenager."

Hmm. "Lilly, my wife and I want to go out on Friday night.

Would you babysit for my kids?"

And she was like, "Sure, I will."

So not only was she terrifying me on set,

she would babysit for my kids on the weekends.

Isn't that nice? Yeah. -Wow.

I have heard actors say that, if you --

if you want to do evil on camera,

look into the mirror at your own eyes.

Stare into your own eyes.

-Someone gave her that tip because it worked,

and she scared the crap out of me.

Yeah. -Well, she --

She couldn't have been that old. How old was she?

She was like 16. Maybe.

-16? This was her first feature.

Her main credit before this is

she starred in "Matilda the Musical" in Sydney.

-Theater, yeah. -She's a theater person.

But that's a role for a ten-year-old, though.

And she said in an interview

that she had never celebrated Halloween.

They didn't do Halloween in her neighborhood.

-Oh, no, that's so sad. -You know, raising the question,

where the fuck was her neighborhood?

-I've traveled the world now,

and I'm always perplexed at how little of a celebration

Halloween is in other parts of the world

because it is the holiest of holies in my house.

-But Australia? I would think they do it there.

-Honestly. -All right.

Backtracking a little bit.

You're the only American actor in the movie.

-True story.

-And that's because you wrote an article for "Fangoria"

about regional horror hosting. -True.

Especially your childhood host in Overland Park, Kansas.

And what was her name?

-Crematia Mortem.

-I met Crematia Mortem in 2012

because "HorrorHound" had this thing.

They started the Horror Host Hall of Fame,

and she was one of the inductees.

And we all gathered in Indianapolis

and we did a spooky seance

and summoned the spirit of Vampira.

Anyway, but, David, you wrote this article for "Fangoria."

-Yeah. -And the directors

of "Late Night with the Devil" saw the article

and they decided, "He's our guy.

We want him for this movie," right?

-That's amazing.

-You'd think you'd see a performance of the guy.

You'd see me do a theater production,

and you go, "That's the guy." No.

They read an article that I wrote

after my mother passed, and I was thinking about

how horror has gotten me through so many difficult times

and thinking about the people that introduced me,

took me in and out of horror.

Thinking about the impact you've had on my life.

Other friends like Svengooli and then Crematia Mortem.

They read this article and they go, "That's the guy."

Which was so strange to me because when I got the script

and I go, "This is amazing. This is incredible.

No one would ever send this to me."

Like, I'm the guy you think of who's playing the guy

who's breaking in your window at night to come

and steal the things and kill the people and maybe --

maybe run the cult.

But that I get to be, like, an affable, you know,

witty, charming late night talk show host,

that's so far out of my sphere of, like,

what I would ever get to do before.

So I immediately jumped.

Not only did I love the script, I loved the genre.

-David, the flawed, witty, charming -- [Laughs]

-Luckily, we get to see him behind the scenes, as well.

-Yeah. And, so, David,

with your extensive knowledge of horror hosting,

who is the best horror host. -Of all time?

-Yeah.

-[Clearing throat]

-His name is... Well, you're very close.

You're in the top running, but...

-He'll take it. -[Laughing]

-He's kind of a rising in the ranks guy right now.

He's a bit of a -- bit of a, uh, over the topper,

but I like over the top. Dr. Fearless.

I think that's -- -Dr. Fearless.

Where is Dr. Fearless?

-He pops up in shows, on specials, on YouTube,

I think -- I think he's -- -Okay.

But in all honesty, Vampira was, for me, the beginning.

-Vampira? I really loved The Scream --

And Crematia, to me --

by the way, Crematia was the first crush,

my first introduction to all the films that I fell in love with.

Acting.

I mean, Crematia, to me, was all of it.

Yes? Go ahead.

-Why are you questioning Vampira?

-Well, Vampira was -- -What the fuck is that?

-Vampira was basically a model.

She posed for the camera.

-She took and ran with it. -Oh, my gosh.

-No, no, no. Because she was --

She was just in her Halloween costume at a party.

And then she got to run with it, and she took it serious.

I mean, she was writing the bits.

She was excited about creating a character.

-Okay, I'm a Zacherle guy. -Respect for Vampira.

-You know. -Zacherle --

-I'm gonna say Zacherle invented most --

Zacherle was the DW Griffith of horror hosting.

I mean, there may have been -- There were directors before

DW Griffith, but DW Griffith, you know,

sort of established everything.

And I think Zacherle did the same thing. Anyway.

-I only got to see a bit of Zacherle,

but the vinyl records I have,

all of the songs and the bubblegum pop

and the -- I love that stuff. -All right.

So you grew up in Kansas,

but you studied at DePaul in Chicago,

and you're pretty much a creature

of the Chicago theater scene. Would that be accurate?

-Creature being the proper term?

-And you're known for being in a lot of famous movies

in supporting parts.

And what do people mostly remember you for

in those supporting parts?

-The first role that I ever had,

I was a theater actor in Chicago, and I --

I had a small but really fun

role in Christopher Nolan's "The Dark Knight."

I was in legion with the Joker.

I was a henchman to the Joker. And people, to this day --

I shot that scene, those scenes, 17 years ago now.

People will come up to me and say, "Crazy guy."

[Laughter]

-And also Polka-Dot Man in "Suicide Squad."

-Well, then, thank you. Yes. -Whoo!

James Gunn gave me the role of a lifetime

with that character.

It's one of my favorite roles I ever got to portray.

-And you were in "Oppenheimer"?

-Certainly was. Yes. William Borden, who was...

-Aren't you the guy

who falsely accuses Oppenheimer of being a Russian spy?

-Falsely is a strong term.

I look at every story from the perspective of my character,

and he deeply believed that Oppenheimer

was a threat to national security.

-But without you, Christopher Nolan has no movie.

Right? -I told him that all the time.

"Mr. Nolan, you know, you realize, don't you,

that without this, there is no that."

-You were also in "Weird: The Al Yankovic Story."

-Whoo! -Got to play John Deacon, the...

We all know, right? The bass player for Queen.

It was a fun bit. Yeah. -Great performance in that.

Darcy, see, is the ultimate Al Yankovic fan.

-I mean, ultimate's strong. -And I am, too. I love Al.

-How do you not love Al? -He's incredible. Amazing.

-You were raised in a strict religious household?

-Very true. -What religion?

-Like evangelical Christian. -Okay.

-So the devil theory -- -They would have believed

in the devil? -Absolutely.

-And that made you believe in the devil?

-It made -- Certainly did.

And I mean, in all seriousness, like,

really kind of messed me up,

but it's what made me, the rebellious side of me,

sneak downstairs at 10:00 on a Friday to watch

"Friday Night Scream Theater with Crematia Mortem,"

or why I would go sneak "Fangoria."

Some kids were hiding "Penthouse" letters

under their mattress.

I was hiding "Fangoria" magazine under mine because that was --

-Why not both?

-Well, we got there eventually.

It got there. -All right.

Well, I think your ambitious plan to save your show

during sweeps week by summoning the devil on live TV

is probably saddled with about 17 different ways to fail,

including the fact that maybe nothing would happen.

You know, um, but you're blind to that.

-Don't you remember when Geraldo Rivera was going to open

Capone's glove box or something? -Exactly, exactly.

That would be the danger in summoning the devil.

-He still got the ratings. -That's true.

And, so, but you're covering up the fact

that a guest has already died on the way to the hospital

from unexplained seizures. -Whatever.

-But you're going to press on

because you are a great television trouper.

-Absolutely. -Does that about sum up

the plot at this point? -The show must go on.

-Okay. Roll the flick. -Word.

-And Darcy? -Yes.

-Haven't you seen every Weird Al concert for the last 20 years?

-Every single one. Yes, absolutely.

-Do you have a favorite song?

-Are you are you buddies with Weird Al at all?

-"Saga Begins," I think. -I'm friends with Al.

-Yeah? -I love Al. Al is the best, man.

He's cool as heck. -Can we hang out?

-You're buddies with -- -I do, yeah. Al --

-Can you get us backstage at the Weird Al show?

-You got it. -Shut up.

-I think the "Good Old Days is my favorite Weird Al song.

-Yeah? Do you have a favorite Weird Al song?

-Uh..."Take a Walk on the Kosher Side."

-Wow. -"Take a Walk Down Fairfax."

-Well, okay, then. You're allowed to come.

-Okay. We got Weird Al networking cred so deep,

we could probably all dance in a Weird Al video, right?

-He's a member of Bohemian Grove.

-Well, okay. Let's go.

-Weird Al at Bohemian Grove? -Wouldn't that be a show?

That'd be amazing. -Bring the accordion.

-We're resurrecting the spirit of Tiny Tim

to do an encore show, too.

-Okay. No, we'll summon the spirit of Sammy Davis Jr.

-There it is. -Oh!

[Laughter]

♪

-Welcome back, everyone.

Without further ado, Dr. June Ross-Mitchell

will commence the demonstration.

And might I say to you both, Godspeed?

-Thank you, Jack.

Now, if the entity is present tonight,

it may manifest itself in any number of ways,

but its entry into our world is only possible through Lilly.

I merely provide the key that unlocks the door.

Whatever you might see or hear, I ask you all to remain calm.

It's vital that Lilly's focus remains with me.

Let us begin.

Lilly, to me.

Close your eyes, Lilly.

[Sighs]

That's it.

And let yourself sleep.

Relax.

Lilly, can you hear me?

Lilly?

May I speak to the one you know as Mr. Wriggles?

If Mr. Wrig--

Quiet.

May I ask who is present now?

-[Grunting] -Shh!

Please let yourself be known.

-[Demonic laughing]

-Speak.

-[Distorted] You know who I am, Doctor.

[Audience gasps, screams]

-Please.

-Is that the devil? -I'm so scared.

-Is she okay?

[Gasps, murmurs]

-Who are these people?

What is this?

Where am I?! -There is no need to be alarmed.

-What have you done to me, Doctor?

-We mean you no harm. We've brought you into

this realm to better understand your purpose.

-My purpose?

He's here, isn't he?

Good to see you again, Jack.

-Uh...Sorry.

I don't believe we've been acquainted.

-Don't be a fool. We go way back.

We met amongst the tall trees.

Remember? -Lilly, return to me.

-Oh, Juney, Juney, Juney, Juney!

Be careful now.

You know what happened to his last whore.

She died. She died an ugly, ugly death.

-Lilly, come back to me -- now!

-And the worms finished off with Minnie a long time ago,

didn't they, Jack?

So now you can screw whoever you want, hmm? Like Dr. June.

Dr. June thinks you're very handsome, Jack.

Dr. June thinks you're very, very handsome.

-That's enough! Lilly, I need you to come back to me now!

-Jack and June went up the hill to fuck each other's brains out.

Jack and June went up the hill to [bleep] each other's--

-That's enough! [Audience gasps]

-[Whimpering]

-Lilly?

Lilly, sweetheart?

-[Normal voice] Why would you hurt me like that, June?

You know I can't help it.

-I know. I never -- -[Snarls]

-No, Jack! Stay where you are.

Vade retro Satana.

Sunt mala quae libas.

Vade retro Satana. Sunt mala quae libas.

-[Laughing]

-You were cursed by Anum and Antum, Lahmum and Du-rum...

-[Together] ...the Underworld and those who lie in it,

that you shall not seize her,

and you shall not return. -...return!

-[Distorted] How could you let it happen, Jack?

How could you let it happen?

[Rumbling]

[Electricity crackling]

[Audience screaming]

♪

♪

[Screams]

[Normal voice] Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

-No, no, no, no. No,I'msorry. I'm so sorry.

I never should have put you in that position. Okay?

You're okay. You're okay. Just breathe.

-That was...

-You're okay.

-Ladies and gentlemen,

have you ever seen anything like that?

-This is unconscionable, Jack.

I would like to point out

a number of tricks employed by the so-called doctor.

-And you'll get your turn, Car.

Right now...

some messages.

[Applause]

♪

-We're clear.

-Is this a talk show or a fucking freak show?!

I mean, the depths you people have sunk to.

-Carmichael, just take it easy, okay?

Let's get Sammy in to mop that brow of yours.

Sammy?

-Lilly, are you okay?

-A bit embarrassed, I guess. I'm okay.

-Phil. I'm sorry. Can we get a hand with these straps?

-I got you. -June.

Come here. Come here.

Just, let's...

You're okay.

Jesus. That was -- I mean...

I knew that we were gonna see something amazing tonight,

but...

we got to get you guys back on as soon as possible.

This could become, like, a regular spot.

-The tall trees.

What did she mean by that?

-I don't know. Youtellme.

-This isn't some kind of parlor trick, Jack.

I know that, June. I mean, this...

There is something very special happening here with Lilly.

With you.

I just -- I want to be a part of it.

-You're hurting me! -Sorry, kid.

Look, I'm trying here. -Hey, Phil.

It's okay, it's okay. I got this.

Can I see that? Thanks. Thanks, guys.

Go ahead.

It's okay, Lilly. It's okay.

-Thank you, Jack. -Mm-hmm.

-No, she's great. She's got it all.

Well, this is all very exciting. Thank you so much.

-Sorry. -Send regards to Bonnie

and the kids. Okay. Bye-bye. -We'll have you back next year.

-This isn't about ratings anymore, Leo. This is sorcery.

-Listen to me, you goddamn shit-your-pants Mick asshole!

Dial up that grin. Dial it up.

Dial it up and get on with your job.

And not one more word.

-It's all smoke and mirrors, Gus. Trust me.

-Leo should have cut the whole show right after Christou died.

-Bombed, you mean?

-No. Didn't you hear?

He's dead.

Puked his guts out on the way to Sinai.

-Two minutes, everyone.

We're on the homestretch. Let's keep it going.

-[Grunts] -Thank you, Jack.

-Yeah. Come here.

-And what are we doing now, Jack?

Um, now it's nearly time to say good night, darling.

-Oh. -Jack.

Sammy. Checks on June and Lilly.

Okay, so three of the crew have just walked off,

the Communications Commission

have called an emergency meeting at 7:00 AM, and...

-Bedford. -Mm-hmm.

-What did he say?

-Just that he thinks it's the biggest TV event

since the moon landing.

Who was I to disagree? -We're back!

Baby! Back! We're back from the fucking dead!

-We're talking about 35, maybe even 40 share.

-"The night Jack Delroy interviewed

that cock-fucking devil"! -Well, it might not

be the headlineThe Times, run with, orThe Post,

for that matter, but something in that vein.

Oh, and Bedford also took quite a liking

to -- to June, too.

Asked when she'd be back. -I'll do what I can.

I guess I don't have to kiss Cavendish's ass.

-Cavendish? Screw Cavendish.

After tonight, every fucking Fortune500 will be lining up

to be a part of the resurrection of Jack Delroy.

If anyone's gonna be kissing ass, it's them.

What's the matter?

-Just...

That girl's voice...

-I know. How did she do that?

-Yeah, but at the end, I mean, she sounded just like Minnie.

You heard that. -No, no, no, no.

Don't -- Don't you go all screwy on me, Jack.

I've already got Gus back there prepping for an exorcism.

-I just got spooked. That's all.

-Let me tell you something.

If Minnie were here, she'd be saying,

"You get out there, Mr. Midnight,

and you knock 'em dead."

-Positions, people. 10 seconds.

-We'll drop the costume parade to give Carmichael

a few more minutes on his soapbox,

and then we'll wrap it up, throw it to Cleo.

-10 seconds, people.

-Jack. -Can we have Cleo standing by?

-Dagger. [Bell rings]

-And in five...

four...

-So, Jack Delroy, I'm going to ask you this as Jack Delroy --

what happened among the tall trees?

-We can't talk about that.

-Did you have something in your head

that happened among the tall trees?

-I did, I did, David did for sure.

Jack went up there as a retreat,

a way to escape and get away from it all and to,

you know, get a chance to network with some of the powers

that be who might have influence over things.

And, um, you know,

the archaic rituals,

the weird late night dips into the natural springs pond,

the candle and the candle wax ceremony,

all that stuff, to me, was just part of a just boys being boys,

just have a little bit of fun. -Uh-huh.

But then it goes a little too far maybe?

-Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

-Okay, so, in real life... -Yes.

-...you get this call from Melbourne, Australia,

from Cameron Cairnes and Colin Cairnes.

Let's start with that. You had two directors.

-Yeah. -How did two directors work?

-It was really interesting

because they're both two sides of a coin, you know.

I feel like Colin was more interacting --

although they both did -- in, like,

performative and some of the, like, more hands-on stuff.

And Cameron's kind of walking behind very intellectual.

But they're both monster kids,

dyed in the wool monster kids.

I mean, these guys were raised on "Fangoria,"

raised on the horror stuff that I love.

And they, um -- they complete each other's sentences.

They've been doing this for such a long time together.

It's kind of amazing. I really loved it.

I was like, how is this going to work?

But we met by, like, a Zoom, you know?

And then when they started talking, I was just like, boy,

these guys are great. -Yeah.

And, so, they fly you to Australia.

-Yeah. -So you can make this

very American movie with an Australian cast.

-All Australian cast, everybody in there.

A lot of theater people from local Melbourne theater scene,

some people with some film and TV experience.

But it was unlike anything I've ever experienced.

And by the way, their American dialects,

much better than my own

considering I'm a guy raised in the Midwest.

Sometimes my voice sounds like, where is that guy from?

These guys are really accurate. Incredible dialect.

-'Cause they've studied it, yeah.

-But beyond that, what blew my mind

was two of the actors were last-second castings.

I mean, Laura Gordon, who plays Dr. June Ross-Mitchell,

she found out she was going to be playing this role a few days

before we started shooting.

Ian Bliss, who plays Carmichael Haig, he --

Someone got sick right before we start shooting.

He jumps into his role, has to learn sleight-of-hand, magic,

all of his lines.

I was just blown away, I really was.

It was one of these things where what

I had to pull off, the hat trick that I had to try and achieve,

which is like deliver a believable,

authentic, compelling character who's troubled

and fragmented, in mourning,

but also be a late-night talk show host,

but also be a guy who's, like,

experiencing some supernatural craziness,

to be surrounded by that group was like, ah,

it was amazing, man. They were so great.

-But they recreated this American talk show set.

-Yeah. -The set is amazing.

And they do it very well.

And for three weeks, you kind of just lived there, right?

-Just lived in it, just lived in that space.

-You're there every day. -Yep.

-And what was that like?

-Like doing a play, you know, because you're on the same set.

Sorry about -- Whoop. Got poked. Uh...yeah.

Um, I got into the zone in a way that I would

when I was doing a play in Chicago,

and we would do long swaths of shooting

because they'd have three cameras set up the way

they would on, like, an old talk show.

-Oh, yeah. They made that decision

because TV shows were shot with three cameras.

So we'll just run three cameras on the film.

-Yeah. And so our -- our camera team was in wardrobe

because sometimes they'd get caught on, you know,

on a shot from one of the other cameras.

So they would have them --

See, guys, you're all in costume anyway.

But it was pretty great.

You couldn't ask for more of a dream than that.

And they brought in, you know,

crew and friends and family to be in the risers

when I'm trying to do monologue and bits

and talking to the audience and...

-Well, I like the Cairnes brothers because they believe

that "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre" is

the greatest horror film ever made.

David, one other thing I wanted to ask you.

-Yes. -Did anything spooky, satanic,

devilish happen on that 20-day grueling schedule on that set?

-I knew you were going to ask me that question.

That's creepy.

Uh, there were -- there were some moments

when, I don't know how you want to describe it.

I'm not -- I'm a science guy.

But I do have this deep desire to believe in the supernatural.

And there is a moment

when we've got all of the retrieved artifacts

from the -- that have been recovered from the burned,

uh, place of the rituals, and -- and --

and all of a sudden, the theremin,

which who doesn't love a good theremin?

-Right? -Theremin goes off the charts,

and the sound starts blowing our ears out,

and all of a sudden the table starts shaking

and all of a sudden the whole space feels

like something is happening.

Is it an earthquake? What's going on here?

-Nobody was playing the theremin?

-Somebody was messing with the sound on the theremin,

but what I -- what freaked me out was there was a,

like, walls near us that there would be no one on --

there couldn't have been someone on the other side of

and those started pounding and shaking,

and I noticed it, and no one else seemed to.

And I said, well, I'm either going crazy

or I'm so deep into this character now

that it's really happening

or there's some weird shit going on here, that freaked me out.

And seeing, again, Ingrid with the...

[Groans] -Ingrid was freaky.

-Yeah, I still have nightmares. -She was freaky.

Okay, David, we are releasing you into the wild now.

As we go back to the gnarly part

of "Late Night with the Devil," um, Happy Halloween.

Where do you spend Halloween?

-I will be trick or treating with my kiddos.

I love Halloween.

It is the most special time of the year.

And you know what my favorite thing is?

The Halloween episode of something,

the Halloween episode of you name it.

I love a good old Halloween episode,

so I cannot tell you how thoroughly honored

and excited I am to be joining you during this

very special holiday. -Aww.

-Well, we appreciate that, David.

-That is the spirit. -Thank you.

-And now we're going to see

how you try to wriggle out of this situation

as we continue with "Late Night with the Devil."

-I think I can worm my way out of it.

-Roll it. -We'll see.

-You know, we were talking about --

earlier we were talking about Dick Cavett,

and most people don't remember "The Dick Cavett Show" today.

But Dick Cavett did an interview with William Peter Blatty

when "The Exorcist" book first came out.

And as a result of that interview,

the book became a bestseller,

and as a result of the book becoming a bestseller,

the country got crazed about the right of exorcism

and everyone was talking about it,

and the news magazines were talking about it.

And because the country got crazed about the right

of exorcism, the movie was commissioned by Warner Brothers,

and that movie was one of the most successful openings

in the history of horror, and people who had never

seen a horror movie in their lives

did go to see "The Exorcist."

And so all this demon stuff today comes from that.

If there's no Dick Cavett, there's no Linda Blair.

-Hmm, hmm.

His Janis Joplin interview always got my heart, too.

That was a good one. Love, Dick Cavett.

-Now, Linda Blair in "Exorcist: Believer,"

that's the work of the devil.

[ Laughter ]

-Ha.

♪

[Static]

[Cheers and applause]

♪

-Welcome back.

Ladies and gentlemen, before we continue,

I'd like to apologize to anyone who may have been upset

or offended by what you saw before the break.

It's not every day that you see

a demonic possession on live television.

[Audience talking indistinctly]

Lilly, can you assure everyone that you're okay?

-Yes. I'm fine, Jack.

-And do you have any recollection

of what just happened?

-It's hard to explain.

It's like I'm asleep, but I'm awake at the same time.

I just try to focus on June's voice.

I'm sorry if Mr. Wriggles said anything rude.

-Alright, enough with all this subterfuge.

May I, Jack? -Yeah. Oh, please.

Because, you know,

I'm dying to hear you explain away what we all

just witnessed here.

Let's hear it.

-Let me preface this by saying

that my chief concern is the welfare,

indeed the sanity of his younger --

-How dare you? -I beg your pardon.

-[Scoffs]

Before I became her guardian,

Lilly lived in the cruelest conditions imaginable.

I studied her. Yes, I treated her.

But I also gave her two things

I'm sure you're just as skeptical of --

love and compassion.

Lilly and I are family.

-I can assure you all

there is no demon lurking inside this child.

Clearly, she has been placed in a hypnotic state,

then manipulated by the good doctor to perform her bit.

-Hypnosis? Then -- Then -- Then

how do you explain the physical transformations with her skin?

The voice change, there was banging on the walls.

-She levitated, for God's sake.

-Granted, the stagecraft was impeccable.

[Audience booing]

-Do you know what I think, Car?

-Prey, tell. -I think that you are

just a self-righteous, cold-hearted curmudgeon

who's trying to weasel his way out of parting

with half a million bucks.

[Cheers and applause]

-If you'll allow me, Jack, I'd like to prove

my thesis beyond a shadow of doubt.

-Be my guest.

-I'll need a volunteer. -[Chuckles]

-Thank you, Gus. [Laughter]

Yes, if you'll join me center stage.

Could I have those chairs back here, please?

-Do as you're told, Gus.

-Gus.

[Cheers and applause]

Car, you've got five minutes.

Make 'em count. -Don't worry, Jack.

What I have in store should provide a very

fitting climax to your show.

-My wife likes the way my head sits on my shoulders, Mr. Haig.

I hope you're not planning to...

-Make it spin?

Oh, I plan to make everybody's head spin.

[Audience "Oohs"]

-[Sighs]

[Air hissing]

-Could I just have the lights dimmed, please?

[Switch clicks]

[Chuckles]

Bit of atmosphere never hurt, did it, Dr. June?

-You know what we say in TV land.

Where there's smoke, there's probably a smoke machine.

[Laughter] -My compliments to the producer.

Okay, Gus.

Are we feeling comfortable?

-Sure.

-I hope everyone here in the studio

and you at home are all feeling comfortable, too.

It's important that everyone is as relaxed as they can be.

Now, I have something here that I want you all to look at.

Do you think we might be able to get a close up?

[Watch ticking rapidly]

I will now ask you all to stare into my watch.

Even you, Jack.

-Got a good shot on all the studio monitors here.

-I hope our viewers at home are also paying attention.

Watch carefully.

Round and round it goes.

With everyone feeling nice and relaxed.

[Ticking continues]

[Watch dings]

Good.

Now, Gus. -Hmm?

-Tell me all about this verminophobia of yours.

-I'm sorry. My -- My what? -Your morbid fear of worms.

-How do you know about that?

-What is it about them that's so unsettles you?

-Isn't it obvious? They're such ugly, slimy things.

No arms, no legs, no eyes.

-Indeed. Quite grotesque.

And they seem to thrive wherever it's dark and moist.

The soil, the mud, the human body even.

-Disgusting.

-Do you realize that you are now deep in a trance?

-No, sir, I do not.

-A very deep trance.

-Okie dokie. You're the expert.

-And when I click my fingers,

you will be entirely under my command.

-Look, this is silly.

I don't think... [Snaps finger]

-Gus, can you hear me?

-Yes.

-Do you know where you are?

-Here in the studio...

with you.

-You don't feel any different?

-No.

Why should I?

♪

What is that?

Do you hear that?

[Audience whispering]

♪

♪

Jesus, it's hot in here.

♪

Skin's itchy. [Chuckles]

♪

-You alright, Gus? -Yeah.

Just, uh, so damn itchy. [Chuckles]

-Your neck, it's bleeding.

-I did nicked myself shaving earlier.

♪

Jeez.

[Audience gasps]

What is that?

Jesus!

-Now, just stay calm.

-No, no, I can feel them.

They're inside me!

Jesus!

[Screaming]

[Audience gasping, groaning]

Oh, God!

[Snaps finger]

[Snaps finger]

Help me, Car.

-Oh, God.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

-[Giggling]

Why is Gus acting so silly?

[Audience shouting indistinctly]

-[Grumbling] -This wasn't meant to happen.

[Audience shouting]

-[Squealing]

-[Gasps]

-Car. -Dreamer, here, awake!

How do you feel, Gus?

-Fine. [Chuckles] Uh, when do we begin?

[Lights thud]

Geez,

When did that happen?

[Indistinct conversations, laughter]

-You -- You mean you have no idea.

There were worms all over you.

-Worms?

Oh, God, I hope not.

I hate worms. [Laughter]

-Okay, Car. What the hell just happened?

-I did the exact same thing June did,

just with a tad more imagination.

You said I used to be the best.

Perhaps I still am.

Now would be the appropriate time to applaud.

[Light applause]

-You're saying you just hypnotized all of us?

-Now I'm pretty sure I had

most of you here in the studio,

and no doubt a number of our viewers at home.

Fortunately, you're a suggestible lot.

-What's he talking about, June?

-He played a mean trick on us, that's all.

-Leo, can you get the guys up in videotape

to playback that last bit?

-Yeah, lining it up now.

-Now, if Carmichael's right, if, then oh, boy.

We're in store for some very interesting viewing.

-Bravo. Yes, let's do that.

Best idea you've had all night, Jack.

-Queuing it up now. [Tape clicks]

Let's start there.

-You don't feel any different?

-No.

Why should I?

-Because something dreadful is about to happen.

It's dawning on you. Hear that?

Ghostly sounds, anguished moaning from beyond.

-That is not the way I remember it.

-You're hot. You're itchy.

It feels like something's crawling under your skin.

It's hot in here.

[Laughter]

Skin's getting itchy.

-Your neck, it's bleeding.

-I did cut myself shaving earlier.

What is that? -Worms.

-Jesus Christ! -That's right, worms.

Dozens of them, hundreds out them.

Just stay calm, Gus.

-No, they're inside of me.

I can feel them! -Show me.

-Get them out! -They are coming.

-Oh, boy. -Jesus Christ!

-Okay, let's stop there.

-I've never been so embarrassed in my whole life.

[Audience "Awws"]

-Is there anyone who did not see

the worms the first time around?

-I didn't seem them. -One.

-I didn't see them. -You did?

Okay, so aside from a couple of people in the audience,

uh, it looks like you have made fools of us all once again, Car,

-All in a day's work.

-I did not hypnotize Lilly or the studio audience

or the viewers at home. -Oh, come on, Doctor.

You've been caught dead to rights.

At least America can sleep a little easier knowing

the Devil's not going to pop out of their TV screens.

-If Mr. Haig thinks we're playing a trick on everyone,

then maybe we should look back at that part

of the show too, Jack. -Yeah.

-You mean when Mr. Wriggles joined us?

-Mm-hmm.

You don't think the television cameras lie,

do you, Mr. Haig?

-No, of course not.

-Jack, please. Lilly has been through enough.

No. -Okay, folks, I'm sorry.

Our producers are telling me that the lovely Ms. Cleo James

is standing by to take us out.

And...

I...just think maybe we should bring her back at a later date,

because we can't leave everybody hanging like this.

-Yeah, that's right. -I'm sorry.

We can no longer take any part in any of this.

Lilly, we're leaving.

-But we want everyone to know the truth.

Don't we, June?

-Yeah. -Standing by, Jack.

-We're staying. Please?

-Okay, we can start it. Yeah, right there.

[Tape whirring] -It's gonna be okay.

-Speak.

-[Demonic voice] You know who I am, doctor?

[Audience gasping] -Quiet.

-You say cameras don't lie, right, Car?

-Who are these people? What is this?

-There must be some rational explanation.

-What have you done to me, Doctor?

My instant team will need to take these tapes in

for forensic examination.

-My purpose?

Good to see you again, Jack. -Sorry.

I-I don't believe we've been acquainted.

-Don't be a fool. -Did you see that?

-We go way back. -I'm sorry. Can you stop it?

Just go back a few seconds.

[Tape rewinding] Stop!

Okay, go from there, but very slow please.

[Tape playing in slow motion]

Slower.

[Tape playing slower]

Okay, freeze it there.

-That's just a glitch, Jack.

-No, it's something else.

Now go one frame at a time.

[Tape skipping]

No, no, can you slow it down?

Keep going.

[Feedback]

[Tape skipping]

Minnie?

-My God, it is you.

[Audience talking indistinctly]

You set the whole thing up.

Did you really think another special appearance

from Madeleine might actually save your little gabfest?

-You're okay. -No, no, no, no, no, no.

This -- This - This makes perfect sense.

-[Sobbing] -You -- you conspire

with Christou to have him reach your dead wife.

Throw in a few Grand Guignol theatrics with these two,

and then top it all

off with some clever videotape manipulation.

It's genius, Jack.

Cynical, depraved genius.

[Electricity crackling]

Ladies, the encore is quite unnecessary.

[Indistinct conversations]

-Um, can we get some help here.

-[Sobbing]

-Now! [Electricity hums]

[Audience gasps]

[Electricity crackling]

♪

♪

-[Gasping]

-[Screaming]

-Time to go, Leo! -Cut it!

-[Shrieking]

[Audience screaming]

[Cymbals crash, wind gusting]

♪

-The power of Christ compels you.

The power of Christ --

Gus!

[Audience screaming]

Release to me!

[Gasping]

[Electricity crackles]

[Grunting]

-Glorified God of ungodliness.

I solemnly promise to worship and obey.

And my before my unholy being!

-[Gasps]

-Oh, fuck.

[Gasping]

♪

-Nothing could happen.

-[Screaming]

♪

-Everybody get out!

♪

Jack, come on. Come on! Please, please.

[Electricity crackling]

♪

[Wind whistling, feedback]

[Static playing]

♪

[Static]

♪

-Wow. Just wow.

I mean, those were some amazing effects.

Is anybody alive? -Jack's alive.

-Oh, yeah, and the movie could end right there.

But the Cairnes brothers have a deeper dive in mind,

so I want to go right back to the movie.

-[Clears throat] -What

Before you do that, we have a surprise.

-A surprise? -Oh, yeah.

-Oh, no, we don't -- -As you know,

I've been digitizing your old tapes

and making them available for everyone online.

-Yes, and thank you for doing that.

-My pleasure. -I appreciate it.

-We found the lost to Joe Bob pilot.

-The lost Joe Bob pilot?

-Oh, yeah. -No.

-Oh, yeah. We found the 1981

tape of the show, "Joe Bob's Groovy

Gruesome Tuesday." [Laughter]

-You did not? -Oh, yes, I did.

Austin, will you roll that tape, please?

-Oh, yeah, with pleasure. -Ha, ha ha.

♪

♪

♪

♪

-Welcome back to "Joe Bob's Grisly,

Gruesome, Groovy Great Tuesday Movie" on cable access 78,

where tonight's movie is the "Grim Reaper,"

starring Tisa Farrow and a greasy bum from "Grease."

-Did you say Tisa Farrow?

-Tisa Farrow.

-Does she have big boobs?

[Horn honks]

-No, Delilah.

Tisa Farrow has medium boobs, like 32 B.

-Aw. Well, that's not...

Alright, I'll take it.

Is there at least a scary monster in this movie?

-It has a scary monster. He eats people.

-Oh, yeah. Alright, let's go.

Let's do it. Let's get. -It is groovy.

-It is a 2.9 on the Groovy scale.

It will shake you up. -Huh?

-Just what you need on Tuesday, which is the night

of "Joe Bob's Great, Grisly, gruesome, Groovy Tuesday Movie."

-Is that it?

Do you have anything else to say about the movie?

-That's it.

-I think the -- the fine viewers of Cable Access 78

probably deserve a little more than that.

I mean, why don't we just play the movie?

-Shut up. -You suck. You suck.

-Shut up. -You suck. No.

-Shut up. -No, I will not be muzzled.

-Roll the movie. -No, no, I'm coming out.

I'm coming - I'm coming out! Ho!

-Just play the movie. -Play the movie.

♪

[Laughter]

Oh, my God!

[Laughter]

-Yep. [Laughs]

-Did that ever air anywhere?

-It's did. Tonight on Shudder.

-The network never picked that up.

-What shock?

Uh, where's Delilah today?

-In my sock drawer, obviously.

-Well, I. would love to meet her.

She's an icon. -Back to the movie.

-[Laughs] -Darcy, why did you do that?

-Because it had to be done.

I'm going to put it up on YouTube.

The fans are going to love seeing

how the show was developed.

-That's not the show. That's not this show.

That's the -- that's me sitting next

to a sock puppet and babbling.

-I feel like that's kind of this show.

[Laughter]

It was adorable.

-It's not adorable. [Laughter]

-It's adorable.

♪

[static]

[Mid-tempo music playing]

♪

♪

-But now here's Mr. Midnight, Jack Delroy!

[Cheers and applause]

Come on in, Jack.

[Cheers and applause]

[Laughter]

[Indistinct shouting]

-Wha-- How did I get here?

-The same way you always get here, Jack.

Straight down Fifth and right on 47th.

[Laughter]

[Dramatic music plays]

♪

You okay, Jack?

[Laughs]

[Laughter]

♪

[Laugher stops]

[Electricity crackling]

♪

♪

-I am sick of that crowd.

Stuck in the cave all day cooking your

saber-toothed stew while you and your troglodyte buddies

go out hunting all day long.

[Laughter and applause]

[Wood clatters]

♪

-What the fuck is going on? [Audience "Oohs"]

-I don't think that's the line we rehearsed.

-Leo! [Cheers and applause]

♪

-Oh, where are you going, Jack?

Jack, we're still on air.

Jack?

-Well, I've brought something really special for you today.

Jack, here she is.

I'll just get her out so you can have a really good look.

[Worm squealing] Hello?

-Jesus. -Here she is.

[Audience "Awws"]

Relax. Jack, she's perfectly harmless.

-No. [Worm shrieks]

-Jack and I first met when I was doing

"Oh! Calcutta" at the Eden.

My, you should have seen him blush when he came

backstage and was confronted

with all those glorious naked bodies.

-[Gasping]

-Remember, darling?

No?

Is that another thing. you've managed to forget?

-Y-You're dead.

-[Inhales deeply]

[Static, mid-tempo music playing]

♪

[Music distorting]

♪

[Static] -Okay, Penelope.

Now give the Wheel of Wonder a big spin.

Just remember to let go.

Last week, we had a lady go around for hours and hours.

Spin the wheel.

[Wheel clacking, rhythmic clapping]

♪

-Switch off your television. -[Laughs]

-Turn off your TV set.

Stop watching this.

Turn it off! Turn it off!

Turn it off!

Stop!

[Laughter]

Please.

♪

Stop it!

[Camera shutters clicking, indistinct shouting]

-Welcome to the family, Jack.

-Jack, Jack. Congratulations on your ratings win.

What did you have to sacrifice to get here tonight?

-Ah, Jack Delroy's greatest sacrifice is yet to come.

[Bell ringing]

♪

♪

♪

♪

-Great show tonight, Jack.

Least a 40 share.

Maybe even a 50.

♪

Come.

♪

♪

-[Grunts]

[Gasps]

-Now, drink up, Jack.

[People howling]

♪

♪

-[Coughs]

♪

[Door slams]

♪

-[Groaning] [Air pumping]

♪

♪

-There you are.

[Inhales deeply]

Of course wanted -- they wouldn't let you see me.

♪

They told you you could have it all.

Didn't they?

Be number one.

Oh, you finally made it, darling,

but you had to pay a price.

Except Minnie, stage left.

[Gasping]

-I never thought that the...

♪

This all belonged to them.

It still does.

[Gasping]

-It wasn't supposed to turn out this way.

You have to believe me.

♪

-You're on your own now, Jack.

♪

-I love you. [Sobs]

I love you, Minnie.

[Sobbing]

-Then please do this one last thing for me.

♪

[Squelches] [Gasps, groaning]

-Pain, please.

Please, you know what to do.

Please.

[Groaning]

♪

Do it! Do it.

[Groaning]

♪

-[Panting]

♪

[Gasps]

[Groaning]

♪

-[Screams]

[Gasps]

[Gasps]

♪

Dreamer, you're awake.

♪

Dreamer, you're awake.

Dreamer, you're awake.

[Sirens wailing]

Dreamer, you're awake.

D-Dreamer, you're --

[Static, tone playing]

♪

♪

-♪ Write another song for the money ♪

♪ Something they can sing that's so funny ♪

♪ Money in the bank to keep us warm ♪

♪ Roll another joint for the Gipper ♪

♪ Get the Gipper high, he gets hipper ♪

♪ Stick it in his mouth and keep him warm ♪

♪

♪ Elect another jerk to the White House ♪

♪ Crazy seconds in, seen a dormouse ♪

♪ Take her off the streets and keep her home ♪

[Static]

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

[Woman vocalizing]

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

[Static]

-Okay, does that mean he traded his wife's life for ratings?

Is that what it all boils down to?

-I'm super sure, honestly. [Chuckles]

-All that last part, though, was in his mind, right?

-I think so. -And so -- so I was right.

Satan is your mind.

-I guess so.

-You know, in 1992, the BBC aired

a mockumentary called "Ghost Watch."

-Yeah. -There was supposedly

a real exorcism on live TV.

The investigators were cleaning this house full of poltergeists,

and it caused massive public reaction,

like War of the Worlds," you know?

-Yeah. -And the BBC later apologized.

And so a lot of people ask

if the Cairnes brothers knew about "Ghost Watch."

But the answer, they were asked about it,

and they said, no, they never saw it.

Um, they just said, we just thought that there was

something slightly dangerous

about late night TV shows of that era,

and that's why we watched them. -Nice.

-So "Late Night with the Devil"

was released in more than a thousand theaters

in March of this year, and on the first Sunday of its release,

it took in exactly $666,666.

[Laughter] -I'm sure I did.

-Obviously lie, right? -Yeah.

-So I'm kind of proud of our sister company, IFC Films.

They were trying.

They were attempting a marketing line...

-It was cute. -...that was so large.

It makes me think there are a few Roger Corman-type

exploitation guys left in the world.

They're just not getting it quite right.

But it did turn out to be the best opening weekend

in the history of IFC films.

Um, and the one other guy

that I forgot to mention involved with the creation

of this movie is Matthew Temple, the cinematographer.

He's an older guy, and they wanted somebody

who had worked with studio pedestal cameras

back -- from back in the '80s,

and he found some old tungsten lighting from that era.

The kind of light bars that are so hot

you start sweating after about 30 seconds

of sitting under them, and they shot with those light bars.

And they also kept three cameras running on every scene,

with each operator pulling their own focus

and doing their own zooms

so that they could get that slightly shaky feel

and reproduce the same shots that you would have seen

on real late night talk shows in the '70s.

And when they nailed a scene,

they would say that shot was terrible,

and they would mean that as a compliment.

-We should do that.

-Matthew Temple worked alongside a Otello Stolfo,

the production designer,

and he did an intense study of all the talk shows of that era,

and he decided to go with a brown and orange palette,

which I'm sure you probably noticed.

And he just nailed the whole vibe of the era.

Quite an achievement, especially in the art

and the effects departments of the movie.

Alright, Darcy, what do we have in the mailbag department?

-We have a really sweet email from Lucien Dasar of Brooklyn.

-Okay.

"Dear JB, I want to thank you for your show this season.

My wife and I came down with a nasty case of Covid in April.

I had rebound Covid so technically twice, and I was

out of commission for the entire month of April and most of May.

I was isolated and sick for weeks on end.

It was horrible."

This doesn't sound like a sweet mail.

-Just trust. -"I never felt

so sick in my life.

I am not exaggerating that the only glimmer of happiness

that I received was watching 'The Last Drive-In' on Fridays."

-There you go.

-That episode with 'The Toxic Avenger...'

-Yeah. -...was just so well done

and entertaining, and people scoffed at me

when I said I wanted to celebrate

National Grilled Cheese Day." -Aww. Every year.

-You know, bringing comfort. -Yes.

-We're bringing comfort to Covid sufferers.

-Comfort food. -Anyway, "Thank you

and your crew for all your hard work

making the show successful.

Very much appreciated and kept my spirits up.

I hope all is well. Thank you.

Lucien Dasar, Brooklyn, New York.

P.S., one last note.

Give Jack Hill some love,

'Switchblade Sisters,' 'Coffy,' 'Foxy Brown,'

'Spider Baby' and 18 more films,

and he is still alive at age 91."

-That's the main thing I wanted you to see.

-Alright, Lucien, I -- and thanks for that letter.

I would love to put some Jack Hill on the show.

He was one of those Roger Corman directors.

Uh, he went to the Philippines in the '70s

and -- and shot all those women in prison films

and blaxploitation films and that immortal work of art,

"The Swinging Cheerleaders."

Uh, that may be the best Jack Hill film,

"The Swinging Cheerleaders."

-Ooh, that's a bold stance. -That's an excellent idea.

And that's it for me, Joe Bob Briggs

speaking for myself and Darcy the Mail Girl,

reminding you that to steal an idea from someone is plagiarism.

But to steal ideas from many people is research.

And the drive-in will never die.

Man takes his pregnant wife to the hospital.

Wait, have I -- have I already told this one on the show?

-Probably.

-Um, alright, this is a golden oldie.

[Laughter]

--I mean, there might be three people

that haven't heard it, so go for it.

-Alright.

-Man takes his pregnant wife to the hospital

because she's starting labor.

And the doctor looks her over and he says,

well, it's going to be a difficult delivery.

So I would like to offer you an experimental procedure

that we have here.

And he explains how the woman can be hooked up to a machine

that transfers part of the pain of childbirth

to the father of the baby, thus reducing her own pain.

So the father agrees to that.

The doctor warns him, though,

that there is a slight bug in the machine

that can cause it to amplify the pain sent to the father

by 10 times, so if the pain becomes too much,

he should please let the doctor know.

So the doctor turn -- turns on the machine

and he watches the man,

and the man says he feels absolutely fine

and so he could take more pain.

And so the doctor turns the dial up to 40.

Then he turns it up to 60 and he turns it up to 80.

Finally, he's got 100% of the pain in labor times 10.

And the woman delivers the baby painlessly,

and the doctor is astonished

that the man never even flinches

of that much pain being brought through his body.

And the happy couple takes the baby home.

And when they get to their front porch,

there's the mailman, dead.

-Oh, shit.

[Laughter]

I forgot. That was good, actually.

-Okay. -Alright.

-Well, yeah, was it good? I mean --

-Golden oldie. -Well, let me try again.

-What? No, I like to.

-You like that one? I didn't get a laugh.

-Try again. -I didn't get a laugh.

-I fucking laughed. -Alright.

-Um...

Housewife takes a lover during the day...

-Okay. -...while her husband

is at work, but she's not aware

that her nine-year-old son is hiding in the closet.

So the husband comes home unexpectedly one day,

and she tells the lover to hide in the closet.

So he's in there with the nine-year-old boy,

and the boy says "It's dark in here."

The man says, "Yes, it is."

And the boy says, "I have a baseball."

And the man says, "That's nice."

And the boy says, "Want to buy it?"

The man says, "No thanks."

And the boy says, "My dad's outside."

And the man says, "Okay, how much?"

And the boy says, "$250."

A few weeks pass, same thing happens again.

The boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy says, "Dark in here." Man says, "Yes, it is."

Boy says, "I have a baseball glove."

The guy says, "That's nice." "Want to buy it."

"No, thanks." The boy says, "I will tell."

The man says, "Alright, how much?"

The boy says, "$750." The man goes, "Fine."

Alright, so a few days later, the father says to his boy,

"Go grab your glove and let's go outside

and toss the baseball around."

And the boy says, "I can't. I sold them."

and the father asked, "Well, how much did you sell them for?"

The boy says, "$1,000."

And the father says, "That is terrible.

You overcharged your friends like that.

That is way more than those things cost.

I'm going to take you down to church and make you confess."

And so they go down to the church,

and the father alerts the priest,

and they put the kid in the confession booth

and they close the door, and the boy says,

"It's dark in here."

And the priest says, "Do not start that shit again."

[Laughter]

-Good job.

Happy Halloween! Whoo!

♪

-♪ We are drive-in mutants ♪

-♪ Drive-in mutants ♪

-♪ We are not like other people ♪

♪ We are sick ♪ -♪ Sick ♪

-♪ We are disgusting ♪ -♪ Disgusting ♪

-♪ We believe in, we believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ Yeah, we believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ If life had a vomit meter ♪

♪ We'd be off the scale ♪ -♪ Off the scale ♪

-♪ As long as one drive-in remains on the planet Earth ♪

♪ We will party like jungle animals ♪

♪ We will boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ Boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ The drive-in will never die ♪

♪ We will boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ Boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ The drive-in will never die ♪

-♪ We believe in ♪

♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ We believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ Yeah, we believe in ♪

♪