All language subtitles for TR.Baskin(1971)(1080p).en

*** Subtitles by Apgel Vers 2.0 **********

Hey, Larry, Larry Moore,
Hey.

Larry

(TIRES SQUEALING)

Larry

- I can't believe it, Larry Moore.
- That's right.

- Jack, Jack Mitchell.
- Hey, Jack how are you, it's nice to see you.

- You don, know who I am.
- Well of course I do you are Jack Mitchell.

It's 'cause I'm bald.
I am Jack Mitchell

That's right.

We are fraternity brothers

Jesus, Jack Mitchell?

(LAUGHS)

Hey, you look great,
you look really great.

Thank you,
you look fine too.

- Hey, come on let me buy you a drink.
- Well look I' ve got to, uh...

Oh no. Come on I' m going buy you a drink,
buddy. That's it.

You know I live in Utica

No I, I, I didn't know that.

You like it there?

Oh, it's great,
it's really great.

But....

- It's not like here
- (LAUGHS) Yeah.

You know I married Ella.

- You remember Ella.
- Sure. How is she?

You don't remember Ella.

Of course I remember Ella.

- Fine.
- What?

- Ella she's just fine,
- That's great.

Do you... do you see any
of the old guys?

Not, not very much.

I ran into Jay Reinfeld
the other day.

Oh. Hey, how is Jay?

Just great.

Listen, Larry, uh,

I was wondering, uh...

Well...

I'm only gonna be
in town a little while.

I was wondering
if you know any, uh...

You know, girls.

(LAUGHS)

(TELEPHONE RINGS)
T.R.: Hello?

MITCHELL: Uh, hello,
is this T.R.?

Yes.

My name is Jack Mitchell

I' ve Just arrived in town

I am only gone be here for a day or two...

Uh, Larry gave
me your name.

Hello.. T.R?
hello?

Hello!

Yes!

Uh, well...
I was wondering if, uh,

if you could come and see me.
I mean if we could get together.

Uh, how about it?
Come on.

Hello.

T.R.?

All right.

Great!
Uh....

That's terrific,
that's really terrific. Uh..

Are you free right now?

Yes.

Ah.., well,
I am in the Sherman house.

Room 1453.

Do you know where that is?

- That' s on the 14th floor.
- What?

Yeah, I know where it is.

A...

Teriffic,
I'll see you in a few minutes then.

T.R.:Right.
Are you alone?

MITCHELL:Oh, yes.

- How will I recognize you?
- What?

Never mind I'll see you in a few minutes.

(ENGINE REVVING)

Tough luck, you missed me.
Wanna start over?

We can try again.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

(CHATTER ON RADIO)

Uh, hello there.

Hi.

Uh, come in!

Come In!

- Let me take your coat.
- Mmm.

(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Please sit down.

- Would you like a drink?
- No, thank you.

- Are you sure?
- Yes.

So!

- cigarette?
- No thank you.

- Are you from Chicago?
- No I'm from Ohio.

Ohio. I go to Ohio
every once in awhile.

Cleveland,
I go to Cleveland.

- Are you from Cleveland?
- No I'm from Findlay.

Finley!

Ever hear it?

Sure I have I I just don't think I've ever been there.

What brought you from Findlay Ohio to Chicago?

An airplane.

T.R.: The Y, please...
WCA.

CAB DRIVER: ...you know,
it's always good.

I tell you that
Larrabee Street exit

sometimes ain't so good,
so maybe the best thing to do

is to stay on
until Clark Street.

Hey, your first time
in Chicago, huh? Yeah?

...isn't so good either.
Maybe Wabash is better.

Watch it there. Move over.

Hey, you know, Wabash
ain't so hot either.

Maybe... Uh, maybe
we oughta take, uh...

It's only a couple hours to get.
It's all skrood up, you know...

It's only the couple of hours
that Kedzie gets all screwed up, you know?

CAB DRIVER
TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

...they shouldn't allow
trucks in the daytime anyhow.

Ah, they can make
their deliveries at night.

Yeah. Wouldn't screw
things up that way.

Hey, watch it!

I hate them creeps
in them little cars.

Like bugs they are, bugs!

(TRAFFIC WHISTLE BLOWS)

MAN: Taxi, taxi! Hey, taxi!

(MAN WHISTLES)

CAB DRIVER: People talk
about pollution, you know.

You know how to get rid of
pollution in the streets, huh?

Get rid of them
little cars and trucks.

(TRAFFIC WHISTLE BLOWS)

(CAB DRIVER
TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

All them little
cars and trucks.

Pollution, everywhere
is pollution, you know what I mean?

(TAXI METER CLICKS OFF)

Well, I hope you like Chicago.

Hey, that's 50 Cent for the bags.

WOMAN: Is there any
mail for room 208?

Hello Operator I'd like to send a telegram please to Findlay Ohio.

F.I.N.D.L.A.Y.

Mr. and mrs. Harold Baskin,
B.A.S.K.I.N, 1225 Gehrig Avenue

G.E.H.R.I.G, Finlay.

Uh, dear Mom and Dad,

have gone to Chicago
to seek fame and fortune.

Arrived safe and unarmed.

Don't be mad.

Um, would you change that?

Uh, don't wait up.
Love, T.R.

No, "T" as in tree, "R".
Yeah.

That' s all ther is.

Um, room 1553.

Yeah, thank you.

(T.R. HANGS UP PHONE)

(CHILDREN SHOUTING)

(RINGS DOORBELL)

(BABY CRYING)

Yeah? Is this "charming studio apartment

"in ideal location,
reasonable, inquire"?

Yes, come in.
Come in.

You have your own bathroom..

heat and water included,
a nice place..

nothing fancy, but it is a nice place.

- That's only $110 a month.
- What?

110 a month heat and water included.

- What's the matter?
- It's not exactly what I expected.

Well what you 'd expect?

I dont't know...

but not the waiting room
of Greyhound bus station!

Oh, you 're right kid!

If I'm out of town, right? This is Chicago,
now you don't know about Chicago...

110 a month in Chicago will get you this
if you're lucky, and nothing more.

It's not so bad you know!

You don;t beleive me, right?

Well go and look for your self.
You'll find out.

What's the matter?

You're worried about the neighborhood huh?
Right?

You worried about walking about this
neighborhood at night, right?

Listen kid I wouldn't walk anywhere in this city
at night.

Hey, if you want anything better
you'd have to pay two to three hundred.

You don't believe me, go and see yourself.
You 'll see.

- Can I help you?
- No thank you, I'm fine.

What do you want to see?

- Kathy Simon?
- Just a moment.

Miss Simon?
There is a young lady here to see you.

Now what do you mean miss?

T.R. Baskin.

Named Baskin.

All right. You can go up.

- Appartment 15C.
- Thank you.

- Are you T.R.?
- T.R. Yeah.

Yes.

- I'm Kathy.
- Hi.

This is really nice whole.

Oh. I 'm so stupid.
Lets go inside.

I 'm sorry. I am so excited.
I Just can't beleive it.

My newie just run out
and got married, just like that.

And now I was stuck
for other room mate

I was so depressed,
I mean not one word, anything and there I was...

And the there was the ad in the paper
I was creazy, I was ESP you know what I mean.

Sit down and tell me about yourself

A, Well there's not really very much to tell, I mean
different from anybody else

Oh, not much...

Are you married,engaged or
anything like that?

No, not anything like that.

Me neither. It 's to early for me
if you know what I mean.

I mean, I want to have my fun now and get it all out of my system

I mean, some girls just rush right in and get married and then

later on they feel like
they've missed something.

I don't want to feel like I've missed something,
you know what I mean?

Now, how much
can you afford?

Uh, about 125, maybe 150 if I eat
erasers for lunch.

I can't believe it! I just can't believe it,
that's perfect.

The apartment costs 300, so your 150
and my 150, that's 300.

Yes, it is.

Could I see the rest of it?

Oh, I'm so stupid,
of course.

Well now,
this is the living room.

It's very nice.

We'll add furniture
later, of course,

but I'd rather live here
than on one of those

dingy streets with all the furniture in the world,
if you know what I mean.

Tiara, that's quite a
name for a building.

It means "crown".

And this is
your bedroom.

I think two bedrooms is mandatory,
if you know what I mean.

Listen, what you do is your own business,
if you know what I mean.

Well, now for the bathroom.

We also have a nice
small kitchen.

By the way, do you cook?

- A little.
- Huh!

Well, what do
you think?

I think you send out
for food a lot.

Oh, that's wonderful!
I just can't believe it,

this is gonna work out so perfectly,
I just know it will.

You don't walk around
naked all the time,
do you?

- Huh?
- Some girls like to walk around naked.

My roommate in school
used to do that.

She used to just stand
in front of the mirror,

in the raw, mind you. Just stand there
and stare at herself.

It used to make me so nervous, if you
know what I mean.

You don't do that,
do you?

Listen about schedules,

I'm usually gone
two or three days

and then I'm home
two or three days

and I just love my sleep,
if you know what I mean.

I hope you don't squeeze
the toothpaste

in the middle of the tube
or anything like that,

I just couldn't stand that.
By the way do you smoke?

I smoke, but only occasionally and
then only in private

if you know what I mean.

Listen, I think privacy is the basis of all
good relationships,

don't you agree?
It's very important.

(RINGS DOORBELL)

Yeah, Larry told me
a lot about you.

He certainly did.

What did he say?

He said when I get to Chicago I should be
sure to look you up.

Really?
That's a lot to say.

Well, how about a drink?
Are you sure you don't want a drink? - No, thank you.

Did Larry ever tell you
that after my parents died

I spent two years in Vietnam as a nurse in a
Marine field hospital?

No! Gee, that's rough.

What was it like
over there?

How the hell should I know?
I was never there.

I just wondered if Larry
ever told you I was in Vietnam.

Well, why would
he tell you... I...

You were in Vietnam
if you weren't there?

Well, that's dumb.
Why would I ask you

if Larry ever told you
I was in Vietnam if I was never there?

- Well, I don't know.
- Neither do I.

- How far do you live from here?
- About a thousand a month.

- INTERVIEWER: Are you married?
- T.R.: No.

- Have you ever been married?
- No.

- Parents?
- A complete set.

- Are they alive?
- They certainly are.

Have you ever had
malaria, tuberculosis,

rheumatic fever, heart disease, kidney disease
or any mental illness?

No, no, no, no, no.

No.

- Have you ever been convicted of a felony?
- Twelve arrests, no convictions.

Here, take these
to Accounting.

You get Christmas and Easter and all
legal holidays.

On behalf of the management,
I would like to take this opportunity

to welcome you to the I.L.T. family.

I'm sorry, I had to step out for a moment. Can I help you?

- Is this Accounting?
- What's your name? - T.R. Baskin.

- How do you spell that?
- Capital "T", capital "R".

- No, Paskin.
- B-A-S-K-I-N.

"P" as in Peter?
No, "B" as in bedlam.

You're in the wrong department,
this is "N" through "Z".

This is "N" through "Z".

We handle all employees with names that begin with the letters "N" through "Z".

You're a "B", you belong
in "A" through "M".

T.R.: Oh. Well, where is that?

Two corridors down.
It's the last door on your left.

Thank you very much.

- Is this "A" through "M"?
- Yes. What's your name, please?

Baskin, with a "B" like in baloney.
I belong here.

- Take those and give them to the girl there.
- Okay, thanks. - Mmm-hmm.

Hi, sit down.

Can I have those please?

T.R. Baskin...

Is that your whole name, T.R.?
Or is that short for anything?

- Uh-uh, that's it.
- (LAUGHS)

My name's Dayle Wigoda.

- Did you just come from the bitch?
- Yeah. - Mmm.

(IMITATING) Do you have
a history of mental illness?

I think she has it, that's why she's so
hung up on it.

You get paid
every other Friday.

I know it stinks, but that's how they
do it here.

And you can cash personal checks
at the Cashier's,

but it can't total more than
$25 a week.

Here's your ID card.
Just sign it here.

If you want to come into
the building at night or on the weekend,

you have to show it
to the security guard.

You also have to be crazy.
Here's your employee book.

It tells you all sorts of goodies,
like you can't wear slacks

and how to get
to the coffee shop.

Here's your health plan
information booklet,

and another one on
your stock purchase plan.

Both of them are rotten.

- Are you from Chicago?
- No, I'm from Ohio.

- Did you just get here?
- Yeah.

- Do you have a place?
- Mmm, I just found one. - Oh.

Well, if there's
anything I can do,

anything, just call me
or something.

Ask for Accounting
and when you get Accounting,

- ask for the "B's".
- The "B's"?

Mmm. I'm the "B's".
(LAUGHS)

I work on just the "B's".

That's why you're here.

You'd be surprised how many "B's"
work in this place.

Do you like it?

Well, most of the guys
in Accounting are pretty nerdy,

but it happens to be an absolutely
super place to find out things.

Now I know how much
everybody makes

and I know who's getting fired
even before they know.

Listen, I don't mean
to pry or anything,

but since you're new here,
you probably don't know a lot of people.

Well, I'd be more than happy to fix you up,
I really would.

Okay, well, thanks a lot.

- Hey, don't forget.
- The "B's".

We expect you to
think of your desk

as your "home during
the day," so to speak.

Just as you wouldn't
keep a dirty home,

we don't think you
should keep a messy desk.

Now, you are allowed
two coffee breaks.

One in the morning and one
during the afternoon.

They may not exceed
10 minutes.

You also have
one hour for lunch.

Look up and down
your row, Miss Baskin.

That is your row.

You may determine
your own lunch and coffee breaks,

so long as there is always somebody
in your row at all times.

You may work that out
with the rest of your row.

Are there any
questions?

Good.

On behalf of the management,
I would like to take this opportunity

to welcome you
to the I.L.T. family.

(CACOPHONY OF TYPEWRITERS)

(TYPING)

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

(ELEVATOR MUSIC PLAYING)

AUTOMATED VOICE:
Kindly push the button
for the desired floor.

Step to the rear
of the elevator and face the front.

(ELEVATOR MUSIC RESUMES)

Level one. Cashier
and Employees' Lounge. Thank you.

- Don't mention it.
- (ELEVATOR BUZZES)

DAYLE: T.R.?

Hey, T.R.!
Over here!

Come on over.

Hey, how are you?

Hey.
Come on.

This is T.R. Baskin.
This is Marsha Kaufman and Linda Medcalf.

- Hi.
- Hi, D.R.

- No, T.R.
- T.R. works on the 23rd floor,

Branch Relations.

- That's Roger Fry's floor.
- Mmm.

The whole floor?

Roger Fry is in your department.
He thinks he's gorgeous.

Is he?

He would be
if he weren't married.

He also thinks he can make it
with any girl in the building.

Can he?

I don't know. So far he's
worked his way up

to the 42nd floor and he's only
67% effective.

Do all you guys
work together?

Mmm, Marsha's "G's"
and Linda's "H's".

- And you get
to eat together? - Mmm-hmm.

Ohh! Here comes
Alice Hinds.

She works in Sales.

She thinks she's
nothing less than terrific

just because
she has big boobs.

Dayle!

I'd trust her about
as far as I could throw the building.

Hi, Alice!

This is T.R. Baskin.
She just started.

Oh, what kind of
name is that?

Lithuanian.

What?

T.R. works in
Branch Relations.

T.R. works in
Branch Relations.

It's not bad.
What do you do here?

Oh, the same thing
we all do here. Hunt.

She's on Roger Fry's floor.

Oh, that's right.
Branch Relations.

Well, that's going
to be interesting.

He's married,
you know.

Yeah, I've been told.

- Oh, he's gonna like you.
- Why?

Mmm, 'cause
you're his type.

Well, what's his type?

Any female over 12 and under 70
who doesn't have a harelip.

The age requirements may be lifted in
special circumstances.

Oh, no, there's Eilene Flanders,
I hope she doesn't see us.

DAYLE: She probably will.
She just got new contact lenses.

- Oh, Christ, here she comes.
- What's the matter with her?

Oh, nothing,
if you don't mind sluts.

Hi, Eilene.

Oh, this is T.R. Baskin,
she's new.

Oh. Hi, P.R.

T.R. Hi.

Listen, I was just going anyway,
so it was very nice meeting all of you.

ALL: Bye.

Hmm!

How do you like it here?

I'm not wild about
the drapes.

No, no, I mean Chicago.

So do I.

You're makin' fun of me.

No, I'm not.

Look, uh, I know I'm not
so smart but..

Even I know when someone's
makin' fun of me.

I'm not making fun of you.

What do you want to come here
and make fun of me for?

Look, Larry told me you were
a great-looking girl,

and you certainly are.

Larry never said you were gonna give me
such a hard time.

You're absolutely right,
Jack Mitchell.

I have no right to
give you a hard time,

especially if Larry
never told you I would.

No siree, no hard time,
not from this cookie.

Well?

Oh, uh...

Yeah, yeah, uh...

(LOCKS DOOR)

(WATER RUNNING)

(BATHROOM DOOR OPENS)

(SIREN WAILING)

(SIGHS)

What's the matter,
Mister Mitchell?

I can't.

Why not?

I don't know.

(LAUGHING)

What's so funny?

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

I'm not laughing at you.

(LAUGHING)

Would...would you
like to talk?

(LAUGHING)

Boy, now I know where my grandmother
used to get her perfume.

(LAUGHS)

I smell like
a fruit stand.

Well, you're excused, lady.

I'm sorry.

C'est magnifique, no?

- Do you like it?
- I'm not wild about it.

I think it's super.

Buy it.

Well, I don't know.

Is it always like this?

Normally it's crowded.

- You sure you don't want a date for Friday?
- No, thank you.

What are you gonna do,
stay home?

I got things to do.

- Like what?
- I like to read.

You can read Monday
through Thursday.

Come on, T.R., I'm not askin' you
to marry the guy,

just have a date
with him.

I'll be there with you, carrying a can of
mace to protect you,

from attack if that's
what you're worried about.

I don't see why
you don't do it.

You know, he isn't
exactly hunchback.

He doesn't
rape old ladies.

I used to know this guy
who raped old ladies,

he was a very close
friend of my uncle's.

SALESWOMAN:I think it looks just lovely.

It's a little full
in the shoulder, but...

It's 34 sizes too large.
Do you have it in a 10?

No, I'm sorry, honey. It's the only one
like it in the whole store.

It's a very popular number.

Wait a minute, come on
over here with me.

I do have something else
that's just right for you.

Everybody's been wearing it,

and I know I have it in a
size 10 'cause I put one

away for a customer
this morning.

There.
Isn't that perfect?

Yeah, that's very nice.
How much is it?

$74.95.

It's not exactly what I'm looking for,
you know?

Look, I met Gary
a couple weekends ago skiing.

He's really nice, and he was there
with his friend.

Do you
understand, T.R.?

I saw him.
I actually saw him.

He walks, he talks,
he's absolutely super.

Actually, I'm doing
you a favor.

Thanks a lot.

Hey, look, I wanna get a stuffed
animal for my kid brother, okay?

T.R...
Hey there, giraffe.

I don't understand you.

What do you mean?

Look, do you want to stay home alone?
Is that what you want?

It's just that I don't really like
blind dates, you know?

And I'm fine,
I'm really fine.

Mmm. Oh, boy, this is silly.
We only have an hour.

Besides, I don't
even have a brother.

Look, all we're gonna do is go
to dinner and then have a few
drinks or something,

whatever you want.
He happens to be loaded.

Maybe we can get them to take us
some place expensive.

What have you got to lose?

Why is it so important to you
that I have a date?

I mean, how come you're crusading
for this great eligible catch?

I promised Gary I'd get him
someone nice for his friend.

Well, I'm really flattered
but what about your friends?

Those two girls
you're always with?

You mean
Linda and Marsha?

- Yeah, what about them?
- Oh, they're trolls.

Look, T.R., please as a favor,
say yes.

- What's his name?
- Arthur.

Arthur! Oh, wow!

Oh, T.R.!

Okay.

Super. I appreciate it.
I really do.

I don't agree with you.
I think it's super.

Hey, where the hell did
you get that scarf?

I didn't see you
pay for that.

Oh, you are sweet.
Hah!

Hey, Jake Mitchell?

What's Elmira like?

I don't know.

Aren't you
from Elmira?

No, Utica.

I'm from Utica.

What's it like?

You don't give
a damn about Utica.

Yes, I do.

Why?

I don't know.

You don't give a damn.

Boy. Larry never said you
were gonna give me such a hard time.

(EXHALES)

(SIGHS)

What do you want to
know about Utica?

What's it like?

Well, it's small,
you know?

Maybe it's a little ugly.

But it's nice.

I can't tell you why,
but it's nice.

Don't you get
bored there?

I don't know.

When you live in Utica you always hear about
New York and Chicago.

You know, making it in New York
and Chicago is making it.

But I'll tell
you something.

Utica doesn't
frighten people.

Do you understand
what I mean?

I mean you can see
all the things here, but,

you never feel relaxed.

You never feel
you can act natural.

You never know whether the people
on the street like you or hate you.

It's strange, isn't it?

I always can't wait
to come here,

and after I'm here a few days,
I wind up missing Utica.

Listen, it's weird, you know.
You miss things that you never expect to miss.

For instance, you know
what I miss? Flies.

You know a nice place
should have a fly or two,

not all over, just this
resident couple playing in the lobby,

just to remind everybody
that they're organic.

A fly came into the place
where I work last Thursday.

And nobody knew what it was,
they hadn't seen one for so long.

It didn't have an employee
number so they killed it.

(LAUGHS)

ARTHUR: That works out
perfectly.

That's four halves,
that's two whole pies.

T.R. and I will share one pie,
half sausage, half green pepper.

And you two will have the half mushroom, half anchovy.

How much should we order?

Well, how big is large?

I don't know.
Well how hungry is everybody?

You hungry, T.R.?
Yeah. I think everybody's hungry.

Well all right, then I think we should
order the two large.

Well how do we know we
can finish two large ones?

It's better to have some
left over than not enough.

DAYLE: Why don't we order
one large and one medium?

Well see, if we do that,
then two will get less of their choice

than the other two, I mean
'cause we're ordering different halves.

I think we should
definitely order the two large.

GARY: Right. Okay, fine.
Right? Good.

Uh, Ms.? Fine.
I'll be right there.

- Ah, would you mind if I changed my order.
- What?

Instead of anchovies,
I'd like to switch to green peppers.

All right, all right,
uh, let me see.

Okay. Well, that means that Dayle
and I will share a pie,

instead of T.R.

And Gary will now
share with T.R.

Now Dayle and I will have green pepper
and T.R. and Gary will have

the mushroom and sausage.

And I assume we all want
beer, right? (LAUGHS)
GARY: Hear, hear!

Uh, we would like two large pies.
One all green peppers,

one mushroom
and sausage.

And we want
four steins of beer.

DAYLE: I was just telling T.R.
how you spend $8 for a haircut.

Oh, They do more than
just cut your hair.

It's very nice.

Thank you.

I like your tie.

Oh, really?

(CHUCKLES)

Thanks.

ARTHUR: Is that a Polo?
Mmm-hmm.

ARTHUR: I've been looking
all over for one of those. Where did you get it?

GARY: Frank Brothers.

Yeah. Frank Brothers
has nice stuff.

I'm going skiing again
this weekend.

Ahh, I have to work.

- You have to work on a weekend?
- Yup.

- What do you do?
- I'm a builder.

Do you build anything
in particular?

Mmm, small developments,
you know, apartments and shopping centers.

That's nice.

How did you
become a builder?

It was easy.
My father owns the business.

(LAUGHING)

Hey, my goddamn car
is finally fixed.

Oh yeah, how much
did that come to?

I don't know, the insurance company
took care of the whole thing.

I have a sports car,
an XKE,

and five weeks ago
it was stolen.

Three days later, the cops found it
wrapped around a tree.

The radio was gone,
it was an AM-FM.

And the stereo.
I had a four-track stereo tape in there.

At least whoever stole it
probably likes music.

It was my fault.
Should have known better.

I never should have
parked it there.

- Where?
- Where do you think?

I don't know. Where?

We're building an urban renewal project
on the West Side.

And I always take
the company car, always.

But this one time
was a Friday and I was going out of town.

So I thought,
well, why change cars?

Probably some junkie.

Oh, don't tell me
it was some junkie.

The company car
has a radio in it and a telephone,

but it's never been stolen.
(LAUGHS) Oh, no.

No, an Oldsmobile
isn't good enough for one of them.

Well, when you get money
for not working,

then you begin to
think that anything you want is yours.

T.R. is an absolutely
super reader.

Hmm, really?
What do you like best?

Mostly Lebanese classics.

Nice.

Would you excuse me
for a second?

I'll come with you.

I really like that tie.

And I caught that remark
about Lebanese books.

What are you giving him
a hard time for?

You know, he happens
to be absolutely loaded.

And you happen to be
acting like a blob.

I don't understand it.

What's the matter
with you?

I'm talking to you.

What do you have
against him?

Well, well, did you enjoy
yourselves? (LAUGHING)

(LAUGHS AWKWARDLY)

Would, uh, anybody
like to smoke?

Oh. (LAUGHS)
Yeah, let me see.

Hmm?
Oh, yeah.

That is good stuff.

Oh, my. How do
you like it here?

It's a nice place.

No, I mean Chicago.

Oh, Chicago's
a nice place.

What do you do
at I.L.T.?

She's in Branch Relations.
I handle her personnel file.

- I'm a B.
- What?

Do you like
working there?

Yeah, it's pretty nice.

I'm not gonna die
of over-stimulation.

(LAUGHS) You know you, you sound like one of those
Women's Liberation people.

(LAUGHS)
Why?

I don't know. Would you like to be
president of the company?

Yeah, that might be fun.
(LAUGHING)

No, a woman should
get stimulation, uh...

Should get stimulation
out of a home and children.

I'm working on an electric breast.
Anyone can wear it, then you can stay home.

(LAUGHING)

Oh, no, I wouldn't want
to work for a woman.

You don't have to, your father
owns the company,

not your mother.

GARY: Uh, when is
that development gonna be completed?

Ah, we promised April.
I think we can have it finished by then.

DAYLE: What's it
gonna look like?

Well, you know what those
projects look like.

They all start out clean.

And then all the people who
complain about living in

rat-infested
buildings move in.

In two weeks it's dirty.

And then in two months,
it looks like the buildings that we just tore down.

Honest to God,
you know what they...

They throw their garbage
out of the windows.

I swear, I could
show you the places.

You know, I don't think these
people ever learned how to keep their homes clean.

Why don't we go
somewhere where there's some good music?

Hey, that's a good idea.

How about McGuire's?

Oh, I'm not...
I'm not really crazy about McGuire's.

DAYLE: Oh?
Oh, I'll go if everyone
else wants go.

What do you think, T.R.?

I think you're a schmuck.

- Where do you work?
- I.L.T.

I.L.T.?

What do they make
at I.L.T.?

I don't know. You have to be
there three years before they tell you.

Hmm. I'm with
Con-Amalgamate.

- What do you do?
- I'm in the Catalogue Division.

You sell catalogues?

No, no, Con-Amalgamate
sells all its products through a catalogue.

Oh.

In other words, you can
buy the product in this Con-Amalgamate store

- or you can order it through the catalogue.
- Oh.

That's why I'm here in Chicago.
You see Chicago is the headquarters.

I'm in the Automotive
Parts section.

The Automotive Parts section
of the Catalogue Division?

(CHUCKLES)
Utica Branch.

I know a girl who spends
her whole day working on B's.

Eight hours a day,
working on one letter of the alphabet.

She really knows
that letter.

Do you know that there's
nothing for your car that we can't sell you?

Nothing? As a matter of
fact that's why I'm here.

You see, we're introducing
a new tire.

It's a steel-belted tire.

You can't have a blowout.

That's nice.

I see you're fascinated.

No listen, I mean it,
that's nice.

I mean if you need a new tire
you can just pick up your catalogue,

and zocko!
You have your new tire.

You have a problem
and you solve it, period.

When I die, I want to die
from something that you can spot right away.

You know, like a fantastic
heart attack or drowning.

Anything but going to a hospital
and having some creep telling you

you have to take more tests.

Hmm. Well, I don't
care how I die, I just don't wanna die.

I wanna die young and neat.
I don't want to die old and sloppy.

Wait 'till you're older
and see what you say.

Like the Eskimos, you know.
When you're an old Eskimo and you can't cut it,

they just take you
out in the snow and leave you there.

It sounds cruel,
but it has it's dignity.

Nobody ever asked an old Eskimo
what they thought of all of that.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Main Floor.
Lobby and public telephones.

(CARS HONKING)

(DOG BARKING)

(BABY CRYING)

MAN ON RADIO:
...sit around and wait for him to have a nap.

MAN 2: You don't have to wait.
We're gettin' outta here.

MAN 1: Try it, you can't.

(MUSIC PLAYS)

* If you wanna see your baby
every night

* You gotta hang around
and smile

* 'Cause if you hang around
with a sour puss

* You just know that's
not her style, uh, uh, uh *

(MUSIC SLOWLY FADES)

MAN: We must sell,
sell, sell regardless.

MAN 2: My friends, grab this
'69 Ford Galaxy 500 V8 two-door hardtop, fast.

Fully equipped '71 trade-in,
fully powered, vinyl roof.

The full delivered price...

MAN 3: ...he was standing
on one leg, and uh...

MAN 4: (LAUGHING)
Yeah, right!

(VOICES FADING)

NEWS READER:
...the Ambassador was
only slightly injured.

Most of the damage
was to one room.

But this second attack was further proof
that the Viet Cong and North Vietnamese

could strike at will...
MAN: Boy, it sure is.

BOY: That's an octopus.
See why? MAN: Yeah!

WOMAN: Yeah, It certainly
looks like an octopus.

BOY: Very dangerous.
The teacher talked about it in class.

BOY: Tells all about it,
in the home safety stuff.

(RADIO ADVERTISEMENT)

NEWS READER: Deputies moved
into the university area

where the disturbance began
to get out of hand last night.

Tear gas was lobbed into
the melee in an attempt to disperse the crowd.

The young men then
responded with bricks, bottles and stones.

For the University of Arizona
it was the third straight night of violence

on and near the campus.
Violence growing out of the so-called Street People's

demands that part of the
university area...

Listen, sailor, if you're
floating around in anything, it's a $6 million...

...he was also
a good friend of mine.

(VOICES OVERLAP)

(OVERLAPPING VOICES CONTINUE)

(SIREN APPROACHING)

(STAR-SPANGLED BANNER PLAYS)

(TESTING TONE)

T.R.: Boy, it's really rotten
what cities do to people.

It's just wrong to make 'em
look so insignificant.

I guess when you walk around
down there it's okay but, boy, from up here...

Maybe that's why everybody
looks so paranoid when they walk around here.

They know how
little they look.

MITCHELL: Are you hot?

No, I just wanted to see
if it would open.

MITCHELL: Why
wouldn't it open?

This place where I work,
you can't open the windows.

We're hermetically sealed.
We're like instant coffee.

Well that's because of
the air-conditioning.

In your newer buildings,
you open the windows, you ruin the air-conditioning.

(CHUCKLES)

That's wonderful. If you open the windows
the air ruins the air-conditioning.

Hah.

It's a nice view,
isn't it?

Yeah.

Yeah. It's pretty from a
distance. Like somebody with bad skin.

You sound like
you don't like it.

Well, I don't know.
Sometimes I enjoy it.

Oh.

Well, if it's so depressing
for you why don't you go back home?

Boy, Mister Mitchell,
you must be kidding.

Boy!

I know where I'd go.

- Where?
- Inland Florida.

You know everybody
talks about Miami,

but inland Florida
is where it's really going on.

What's going on
in inland Florida?

A boom, that's what.

That's right. Miami is
saturated, the property values are too inflated.

But in inland Florida you
can really get your value.

What do you mean?

Eight years ago,
I bought four lots in inland Florida.

Right by a lake.
It's really pretty.

Now, there's
not much there now,

but you have to know
how to see,

what things are gonna
be like when you buy a place, right?

Absolutely.

I've been with
Con-Amalgamate for 12 years.

And I don't know whether
you know this or not, but Con-Amalgamate happens

to have the best
pension plan in the country.

I didn't know that.

For every penny you put in,
they put something in.

You know, it's not much in one week,
but the weeks and the years add up

and you retire
with a lot of money.

Do you have anything like
that where you work?

Yeah, we do have this
Medical Retirement thing,

it's really neat if you happen to get
run over by an armadillo.

Con-Amalgamate
isn't like that.

In 13 years
I'll be eligible.

In 13 years I'll be able
to pay off the college,

sell the house,
and build on my land.

Nothing spectacular, but
something nice and solid,

where I can take
my shoes off.

Twenty-five years.

That's a very
expensive house.

It's not the house,
it's the freedom.

You can get up
when you want.

You can go to sleep
when you want.

You don't owe anybody.
You know what I'd love?

I'd love to be able
to make a mistake,

and not feel like I'm gonna
get in trouble for it.

I really have everything
all planned.

Every week,
a little at a time.

I know what colors I want.

I can even tell you
how much cheaper my electric bill will be.

You don't have to
heat in Florida.

I've got it
all worked out.

Have you made your plane
reservations yet?

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(CHATTING INAUDIBLY)

This is Steve, I'm Joe.
This is gorgeous
hair you've got.

How about a drink?
Want a drink?

an I buy you a drink?
Let me buy you a drink.

I even said your hair...
Listen, oh, come on!

Oh, hi, T.R.,
how you doin'?

Oh, hi John.

- Hello.
- T.R.: Hi.

What would you like?

The Nobel Prize.

Well, uh, if they haven't got one
would you settle for some coffee?

Yeah.

Donna?

WAITRESS: Coming.

- What's your name?
- T.R.

Hello, T.R.

Aren't you gonna ask me
what T.R. stands for?

All right. I give up,
what does T.R. stand for?

Thelma Ritter.

You're my favorite
actress.

- What's your name?
- Larry. Larry Moore.

What do you do?

I edit and publish children's books
for the public school systems.

What do you edit in
children's books?

I erase all the penises
from the illustrations.

What do you do?

I don't really know for sure.
I push buttons and I type things.

It's just that I'm not really sure
what I'm pushing or typing.

I mean, last week I thought
I was filling out purchasing forms

and then I got yelled at
for filling out sales forms incorrectly.

So I wanted
to tell them,

"Listen, I am not
filling out sales forms."

But you don't do that where I work.
You don't talk back.

If you do somebody comes along with
a pair of pliers

and pulls your teeth
right out of your mouth.

Hmm.

Do you have
any brothers?

Yes, I used to have two,
but my mother made me give them away.

Why'd she do that?

They were very messy.

What's your mother's
name anyway?

Margaret. Why?

For a second I thought
we had the same mother.

My father is a very nice man
but he's very short.

What's so bad about that?

Nothing, it's just that I'm not wild
about being taller than my father

and he's not crazy about
being shorter than me.

Well, how short is he?
Well, when he stands up...

- His feet don't touch...
- ...the ground.

Let's go to my place and I'll show you
my unedited children's books.

Does it talk?
I'm not setting foot in this thing if it talks.

Never said a word to me.

Would you like a drink?

No, thank you, not right now.

You play tennis?

No, but I bowl a lot.

You bowl?

You like bowling?

I'm not really crazy about bowling,
I just love the shirts.

What's this?

Oh.

I was a lieutenant.

Those are three men
in my platoon.

We swore that everyone that
got out alive

would get together once a year,
just to keep in touch.

You don't look like
you were in the army.

- Well, I was.
- Really?

Yeah.

Our side?

You shouldn't make
fun of a vet.

Where were you?

Oh, Fort Dix, New Jersey.

(SIGHS)

Are they yours?

Yep.

How come they're on your wall
instead of in your house?

I don't know.

Yes, you do.

Yes, I do.

Well, it's because
their mother and I

could not look at
each other too closely

for an extended
length of time.

Either she's crazy
or you wet your bed.

Well, a little bit of both.

See, she would yell at me
if I broke my leg because she was upset.

I can understand her being upset,

but after all, it was my goddamn leg
that was broken.

And on the other hand,
I do use rubber sheets.

What about you?

What do you mean?

Umm...

What do you want?

Where are you going,
you know all those things

you put on the applications,
what about them?

I don't know if they're so important.

I just wish everybody else
didn't look like

they knew exactly
where they were going.

I try to fit in, you know,
I really do.

It's just that, I can't help thinking
that what everybody's trying to fit into

is a lot of crap.

I don't know if I'm making myself
clear or not.

But do you know what scares me
more than anything else in the world?

I'm afraid that if you keep on
getting disappointed

you wind up expecting less.

When I was a kid,

I was this, uh,
baseball card nut you know.

This, you know, the ones that come

with little slabs of bubble gum
that taste like cardboard?

Yeah, well, I was
crazy about them,

and I collected them,

I traded them,

I stole them,
I hoarded them.

My wall was this
baseball card mosaic.

And I used to look at

the wall like a priest looks
at stained glass windows.

And all the players had those great
blank determined looks on their faces,

you know, kind, honest
helping-old-lady-across-the-street faces.

Well, I really loved baseball
and I loved loving it.

Then, one day I grew up,

not voluntarily mind you, I just wound up
in a tweed jacket in a box seat.

And, well, you know,
baseball players are not very smart.

They read comic books

and they cheat on their wives,
they're takers,

and they're really just as rotten
as everybody else.

Maybe a little worse.

Anyway, it was a lot more fun
worshipping baseball cards.

And I expected my wife

to be like this
Dial soap commercial,

with her head tilted back in the shower
all smiling and squeaky clean.

And she wound up worrying
about her maid being unreliable.

I guess it all depends on
how disappointed you get,

but at one point something
goes click and, uh...

You know, the goddamn phone
is busy every time you call

so after a while you just
stop calling, that's all.

I don't know what the
hell I'm talking about.

Do you, uh,

do you want a drink?

Ah, I do.

(SIGHS)

(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

Turn around.

What?

Turn around.

MAN: (ON RADIO)
...now sometimes where
bright people

like photographer
Jack Dickingcuff

win Pulitzers because
they live with their job...

Reach for the sky!

...takes 'em inside,
right, Jack?
- Excuse me.

JACK: (ON RADIO) Really,
it's just an overwhelming feeling that you, uh,

after shooting, uh,

was wrapped up
for the first day,

I would say I had quite a bit of
difficulty sleeping,

I was just thinking about
the memories, the smells...

Say, Jack Mitchell.

MAN: ...for bright
readers like you.

I'm your bright
friend on the radio...

What do you think about
when you're selling your tires?

- What do you mean?
- Well, I mean,

you ever think about
setting your place on fire

or writing "I love you"
on the inside of one of the tires?

What for?

I don't know. Just to be able
to think about some guy

on the highway changing his flat
and seeing your note.

No, I never thought
of doing that.

Just sell the old tires and buy
the house in Florida, huh?

Well, I'm not such a big man.

And you know that.

Hey, T.R., you won't tell Larry
about what happened, will you?

Who the hell is Larry?

T.R.: Do you think Nixon really
goes to bed with his wife?

I mean, do you think they really
take off their clothes

and do it in White House
sheets with the official seal on the pillow?

I would love it. I would love it if the
whole Grand Old Party

were doing it at this very moment
with their wives.

No.

In the first place, they're probably
all asleep,

and secondly their wives
never take off those little pearl earrings,

you know those little pearl earrings
that they wear?

It's impossible
to do it with anybody

when they're wearing those little
pearl earrings.

Anyway,

politicians do not screw, they screw up,
there's a difference you know.

Whenever I lie on my back in bed
I think of a lot of strange things.

Like what?

Like diapering
Winston Churchill.

What?

Yeah. Someone used to diaper
Winston Churchill you know.

I thought he was
toilet-trained.

I'm serious. Winston Churchill
started out a baby like everybody else.

Don't you ever think
of things like that?

I mean somebody actually used to change
Adolf Hitler's diaper.

No. Somebody actually forgot
to change Adolf Hitler's diaper.

I was gonna say Gandhi, but Gandhi
looks like he always wore diapers,

so he probably
changed himself.

Listen, do you have any
other little poignant observations

that come to you while you're looking
at my ceiling?

- Do you think I'm weird?
- Yes, madam, I do.

Didn't anybody ever tell
you that you talk like a typewriter?

Frankly no.

Well you do.

Any particular brand?

Yeah. One of those
older black tweedy ones
with the skinny keys.

Oh, yeah, one of those.

Some people say things
that sound like they're
written in longhand, you know?

Cab drivers sound smudgy,
like this blunt pencil

and then I used to have a grandmother
who screeched like chalk on a blackboard.

You, however,
talk like a typewriter.

Hmm.

What do you sound like?

I think a laundry marker.

How long have you
felt like that?

I don't know,
what time is it?

Why don't you
just lie back and,

you know, you can
tell me all about it.

I am lying back.

That's right. You are.

Mmm.

What are you
thinking about?

Nothing in particular.

It was a nice night.

Yeah, it really was.

Would you mind very much
if I didn't see you home?

'Course not.
I'm allowed to cross streets.

You're really,
uh, all right.

You're not
so bad yourself.

Just, a little somethin'
for your carfare.

What?

LARRY: You know,
your carfare.

T.R.: What?

Now, wait a minute.

Hey, listen, what the hell's
the matter with you?

Hey! Where the
hell are you going?

Jesus Christ!
(DOOR SLAMS)

AUTOMATED VOICE:
Twenty-third floor.

Actuarial Services
and Branch Relations.

Testing...

Umm...

You're probably all wondering
why I've invited you here.

I'd like to bring your attention to
Mr. Walter Freebish.

Walter Freebish is in the F's.

Hello, Walter.

I just wanted you to know how very
much we appreciate

the magnificent work
that you've done here.

Twenty-four years at it.

Magnificent.

Listen, old buddy, umm...

We're going to be
re-deploying our manpower,

as they say,

and we're going to
have to fire all the F's.

You understand, Freebish.

It all depends on how
disappointed you get.

But after a certain point,
something goes click.

Do you know what
I mean, Freebish?

Click.

Anything for me?
What's your name?

Occupant.

Operator?

I would like to make a collect call to
Findlay, Ohio, please.

The number is 241-3601,

area code 419.

T.R. Baskin.

Uh-uh, Operator, T.R.

"T" as in traffic accident.

Yeah, that's right.
Thank you.

Mom?

Hi, Mom!

Nothing, I just called
to see how you were.

How are you?

No, really,
nothing's wrong,

I just wanted to
see how you were.

No, I know, I'm sorry,
it's really early.

No, really, I swear to you
nothing's the matter at all. I just...

I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to
make you worry.

I'm sorry. I... I...

No, listen, I didn't
mean to wake you.

I'm really fine,
nothing's wrong at all.

Listen, Mom,
how's Dad anyway?

How is he? Oh, Ma, would you please...
Don't wake him up.

Please don't wake
him up, Mom.

Would... Would you please not
wake him up?

Hi, Dad!

Oh, no, I'm fine. How are you?

No, listen, I'm not.
She lied, Dad, I'm not in trouble.

I know, I didn't mean to wake you up,
it's really early.

Oh, I didn't mean to call so early.

I'm... Mom...

Mom?

I'm sorry.

Oh, that's in the newspapers,
Mom, I don't live there.

God, Mom, what do you think I am,
some pregnant junkie?

I'm sorry, Mom. Yeah, I know.

I'm gonna hire some skywriter

and then the whole air over Findlay will
be full of my apologies.

What do you...
I'm sorry.

(SOBBING)
I'm really sorry.

(CRYING LOUDLY)

You know you can never
mistake a Sunday for anything else.

I mean sometimes a Tuesday
can feel like a Sunday, you know?

But Sunday is always Sunday.

I think I hate Sunday.

Makes me feel like
I haven't done my homework.

Today's not bad though,
you know.

I mean...

Even for a Sunday
it hasn't been a bad day.

You know something?

You're really kind of sweet.

You really are.

You don't want to be,
but you are.

Do you mind if I
ask you a question?

I'd mind if you asked me anything else
besides a question.

Are you happy?

I don't spend a lot of time wondering
whether I am or not.

But are you?

I'm ecstatic.

No, I'm serious.

Well, you shouldn't be, you know.

Things don't work out too well
when you're serious.

I don't understand that.

That's okay, neither do I.

Well?

Well, what?

Answer me.

(SIGHS)

Answer you.

What's a nice girl
like me doing

with the Automotive Parts section,
Utica Branch, right?

Right.

Because I got tired of looking at bra ads
in the newspaper?

That's not good enough.

Well, I'll bet you one thing,
Mr. Mitchell.

I'll bet you've got some pictures
of your family in your wallet.

And I'll bet your son
has a clip-on bow tie,

and a crew cut and
a plaid sports jacket.

And your daughter has a
pigtail-smile on her face,

and your wife is standing faithfully
in the driveway.

You've got this whole Betty Crocker
Cake Mix all crinkled up in your pocket,

and you wind up prowling around a
hotel room in Chicago.

You're trying to be kind
and compassionate,

and understanding,

not to mention tender,

but maybe you should worry
about why you're here, Mr. Mitchell, instead of me.

I have to go now.

- Can't you stay a little longer?
- No.

Well, can I see you home?

No. I'm allowed to cross streets,
you know.

Well...

(SIGHS)
Well, uh...

Well, thank you.

It was nice.

I'm glad I met you.

No, I really mean that and, uh,

I hope you find
what you want.

Thank you.

I'm really glad I met you too.

And I hope you get your house.

I wish...

Mmm...

You know what I wish.

Bye.

(DOOR SHUTS)

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

*** Subtitles by Apgel **********