Original subtitles

Fuck me and leave.

Really, please leave.

It'll happen sooner or later.

I say quit while we're ahead.

Sex is amazing, but the same person after awhile...

Amazing becomes boring.

And love?

Honestly, how often does that really last?

Stanny, we can't fuck away our arguments.

The fight, fuck, forget it routine is exhausting.

You ain't gonna be angry for long.

We've reached a point where we're arguing about arguing.

Shh, no more arguing.

Why does everything comes back to sex with you?

It's the reason that people exist.

Okay, sure.

The sex is great now.

But women look ahead, men don't.

I don't need a boyfriend.

The people I spend quality time with, guess what?

They're actual friends.

You ever feel like you're dating the same person

over and over?

I mean a different girl, just, you know...

Same bullshit arguments, same goddamn problems.

I don't know why I attract the crazy ones.

And don't say that I pick 'em,

because they appear perfectly sane when I meet them.

I'm Georgia.

Stanny.

My favorite thing in the world, fucking.

But not just anybody.

I mean, there's all sorts of trashy bimbos

I can have sex with, but why?

I like being in love.

I like to think it's because I'm a hopeless romantic.

But it could just be I'm a desperate, lonely loser.

You ever do this?

You start dating someone, his friends become your friends.

His hobbies become your hobbies.

You boys might like this at first.

And although it's not your fault,

we will resent you for it in the end.

I have a birthday next week.

Yeah.

I don't want to be another year older

and still be in this relationship.

Huh?

Could you move out by my birthday?

I remember my grandma telling me when I was 12 years old,

that the second word in girlfriend is friend,

and the second word in boyfriend is friend.

Meaning you're supposed to be friends.

So, I fall in love for the first time.

It's awesome.

And I think I've been a good friend to her,

but things haven't been so friendly lately.

Are you sure about this?

We've been over this, Joe.

It's the best thing for now.

You need to find some things in life

that are yours.

I was a third generation union man.

Kills me to know your clothes are going to be

manufactured in China.

All clothing is manufactured in China.

Okay.

Well, work hard, but I have some fun too, huh?

I'll see you in a couple months, okay?

Let's go please.

When you get your heart broken for the first time,

you kind of wish you'd never fallen in love

in the first place.

Can't you get that feeling back?

You got a boyfriend,

someone that you barely know.

And you stop hanging out with your friends

who you've had for years,

so you can spend all your time with this total stranger.

And when it ends, usually, you never see him again.

So it's back to your friends.

Hopefully they're still there.

I know that look.

You've got buyer's remorse.

Listen, every time you get a new haircut,

you freak out.

You think it's different, some mistake, you don't like it.

But then you get used to it,

and you think, damn, this new haircut is great.

It's just what I needed.

I hope I can afford my half of the rent without him.

Stop it, I've got you covered.

Look, I'm going to send an email to everybody

and tell them that my birthday party is canceled.

What?

Hell no.

This is your start, your new fucking life party.

I really don't feel all that festive.

Oh, shut up.

It'll be good for you.

Listen, new rule.

No boyfriend, no relationship until you are making

a living on your own starting right now.

You know what, you're right.

I need to focus on me for a change.

Right.

But you won't be alone,

so long as you're not in a relationship

I won't be in one either.

You're never in one.

Then I'll show you how it's done.

You know, you look a little crazy mumbling

to yourself like that?

I'm creating.

What you been up to?

Writing, what do you think?

Some of us have jobs and shit.

I get it, all right?

I haven't seen you here in a while,

but you don't got to take off.

Not leaving on account of you.

You got to change up the coffee shop every couple of hours.

It gets my brain refreshed.

Maybe some other time.

Oh man, did you get evicted again?

Not eviction if you refuse to pay rent.

They wouldn't fix the AC in that place, it was brutal.

So you're living in your truck?

You know that script they optioned last year?

They're going to renew the option.

That's a big payday.

I got a big payday coming.

So you're living in your truck?

I'm an artist, man.

I like living like this.

There's a party tonight.

A friend of Christi-Ann's,

does a lot of photography for her.

You should come with me.

You asking me 'cause you don't want

to go there by yourself?

I'm asking you 'cause you're my best friend.

I only go to parties if there's hot chicks and cold beer.

Pretty sure they got both.

See?

Being single, not so bad after all.

Okay, so let me get this straight.

I can fuck anybody, I just can't date them?

Uh huh.

Sport fucking season has begun.

So you're saying that what?

She wants you to get a job?

Yeah I mean, not a job necessarily, but something.

That's what you're so upset about?

Pretty much.

Well, you don't do what they say, they complain.

But if you do what they say all the time,

they think you're a pussy.

Hey, Stanny, why don't you move in with me?

Yeah, I don't know if your girlfriend

would like that idea.

Yeah, but she's away for a while.

Listen, we don't need to get her any angrier.

I'm so glad you came.

Easy honey, he's taken.

Uh Stanny, this is Summer.

The birthday girl.

You got a light?

You gotta smoke that out front.

We're in a yard.

Stanny?

But there's smoke coming off the fucking turkey burgers?

Bro.

You don't even have burgers made out of cows.

You're friends with that guy?

Since third grade.

You know, everybody thinks my best friend's a bitch,

but they just don't get her.

Hey, you and me, we should um...

Can I ask you a favor?

How much longer are you going

to be staying in Los Angeles?

Can I bum a cigarette?

You smoke?

Just when I drink.

Thank you.

Hi.

I'm Georgia.

Stanny.

You having a good time?

People are retards.

They don't want to smoke in the house one night

like it's going to make their house permanently smell.

It's retarded.

It's my house.

And you smoke?

That's even more retarded.

You got a boyfriend?

What?

Want to go play Frisbee sometime?

Frisbee?

I could be like any other moron

and take you to dinner.

But really, why get all formal about it?

Because really, what's a date?

Some ceremony for two people who, you know,

might want to sleep together.

I'm not going to sleep with a guy

just because he takes me out to dinner,

or to play Frisbee.

But you wouldn't go out with him

unless there was a possibility.

And now you're hoping for a possibility?

Well, let's take me out of the equation.

We're talking about you.

You're saying you wouldn't feel obligated

to sleep with a guy just because he took you to dinner.

And you shouldn't.

You shouldn't feel obligated to go out with a guy

just because you want to sleep with him.

Give me your number.

Does this approach ever work?

Not really, no.

Ah, would save a lot of time if two people

who are attracted to each other just walked up and said,

hey, you want to fuck?

G-E-O-R-G-I-A.

I wasn't making a suggestion,

I was making conversation.

I'm waiting.

Tell you what, give me your number.

It's Stanley?

Stanny, there's no L.

I'll give you my number, but you aren't going to call me.

Well I got to go inside and light the candles.

Nice to meet you.

Speech?

Okay, I guess I have to say something.

Thank you guys all for coming.

And, you're awesome.

Oh, you're awesome.

Happy birthday.

Thanks.

Okay, well either you have mastered the pouty look,

or you're really bumming about something.

Just Christi-Ann's going to be gone for a while.

That's all.

Yeah, it kind of bums me out too.

She's like one of my only clients.

China seems so far away.

Yeah.

Thanks for doing this, by the way.

It's okay.

You excited to start knocking on some doors?

Not really.

I mean, people say I'm the right height and stuff, but...

Well, I would hire you to model for me if I could.

She says you need your own career,

you are on your way.

Technically, she said I need to find my own life.

Oh, yikes.

Well, she didn't say it meanly.

Is meanly a word?

I think what she meant was that I need

to find a life of my own,

rather than just live off of hers.

Breaking up sucks.

Yeah, what sucks is that my buddy Stanny

is going to be all happy to hear about it.

You know, if he was jealous that you were happy,

then fuck him.

But if she was keeping you from your friend,

then fuck her.

Me, I'm not going to date anybody for a while.

I'm going to do exactly what my roommate does.

I'm just going to have sex.

Um okay, could you put your chin up a little bit?

Perfect.

This boy business or pleasure?

Business.

Although I wouldn't kick him out the bed.

But it's not like he's even in a position

to just have sex with someone.

You think you're in a position where you

can just have sex with someone?

I'm back to work.

Great.

You should come to yoga with me tonight.

What time?

Seven, has the hot looking teacher.

But I wouldn't fuck him.

Yoga guys have great bodies,

but anyone too into yoga needs a punch in the face.

Oh, I have that gallery opening with Shoot tonight.

I promised her I'd go.

Her name is Shoot?

You met her at the party.

She's a photographer, so it's like a cute little nickname.

It's a verb.

You met her and you liked her.

She was vibing you big time.

Okay look, just because she's gay,

does not mean she wants to have sex with me.

She books a lot of work.

I want to learn some networking tips from her.

Okay.

Well, she doesn't get by on a technicality

just 'cause she's a girl.

Hi, this is Christi-Ann,

leave a message at the beep.

Thank you.

Hey, it's me.

I guess, call me when you get this.

I was just wondering what time it was in that country.

Or maybe you don't have a signal

in whichever part of China you are.

I'll talk to you later.

Bye.

Yo, what you doing?

Bro, come over tonight.

Please.

We could have taken pictures of our assholes

and it would've come out better.

It's been done.

You crack me up.

Imagine if I took my keys out and just stabbed you

in the face right now.

Imagine I punched you in the throat.

Hi Joe?

Oh, hi.

What's this?

I think it's an espresso machine.

I don't know, Christi-Ann gets stuff delivered

to the store, sometimes meant for the house.

That's all.

Could've come and picked it up.

No, I figured I'd drop it off.

Stuff's piling up while she's gone, so.

Do you need some help setting it up?

Nah, that's cool.

My buddy's coming over, we'll figure it out.

All right, well, have a good one.

Yeah, you too.

What, you said you'd get a cigarette?

Hey, you've reached Summer.

Leave me a message.

Listen asshole, this isn't a thing.

It just is what it is.

I'm not one to...

And shut the fuck up.

I cannot believe you threw a drink in that guy's face.

I told him, don't stare at my tits.

He said he couldn't help it,

so I helped him.

Oh my God, so what are we going to do next?

How are you going to top that?

I don't know, something felonious.

Like, let's go Rob a liquor store, right?

Free booze, money?

I'll be the getaway driver.

Actually, I got a better idea.

What?

Ever hook up with a girl before?

I've thought about it.

There are girls who think about things.

And then there are ones that do it.

So, which one are you?

- You're so fucking hot. - Stop.

See, the second you laid eyes on me,

I knew you wanted to fuck me.

And the second you opened your mouth,

I knew that's all you had to offer.

So I hear you write action movies?

No, action movies have CGI and are rated PG 13.

I write crime films.

The rumor I heard about you and Joe being gigolos,

that's just bullshit, right?

Well, technically it's an exaggeration.

I mean, one time these girls just wanted to get laid.

So they asked me and Joe to stay in their pool house.

It's a good deal for everyone.

That is a good deal.

You provide a good service.

Yeah, women don't keep me around

for my sparkling personality.

That is Stanny, leave a message.

Bro, third message.

You were supposed to be here like two hours ago.

You don't got to stop for beers,

I got us a whole case.

I got six on ice right now.

I miss that sound, cooler ice.

Okay...

Call me back.

Unless you're like almost here.

And I'll see you soon.

Aren't you going to ask me what I do for a living?

You got to give me a minute

'til my brain turns back on.

You fucked me stupid.

Okay.

We'll just sit here until your IQ returns.

Actually, that's a compliment.

I don't know why you ladies like to chat after sex,

it's such a cliche.

Well, I asked you what you did for a living.

The polite thing would be for you to ask me.

It's common courtesy.

Problem with the expression common courtesy

is the word common.

It must be nice, being the angry artist,

all superior to people who have a real job.

It is a real job.

I mean, you might make more money than I do.

So I guess by your definition, what you do is more real.

But, why would I give a shit what you do for a living,

when you clearly don't give a shit

what you do for a living?

You don't even know me.

I know when people say artists don't got a real job,

then they're like obsessed with financial security.

And then you meet some guy like me.

All of a sudden you realize, you know,

your fancy house and your shiny car

don't make you any happier, so.

I'm going to take a shower.

I've been on hold for 20 minutes now.

Is there that many people calling

for the customer help line thing for this thing?

All right.

Wait, are you in China?

Huh, where's that?

Oh, oh no, I'm good.

I'm waiting for my buddy to come over,

'cause we're going to...

All right, yeah.

No, the begin brewing light is on.

But, it's not brewing.

Comfortable?

Yeah.

Oh, I was gearing up for round three.

Dude, get the fuck out of my house.

All right, geez.

No need to be rude about it.

Holy Jesus on Jupiter.

You never have a man do a woman's job.

My turn.

I'm okay, wow.

I feel like I would be really lame in comparison.

Just do what I did, do what you like.

What?

I'm like kind of shy, and I mean,

something about being in a motel that makes it

kind of sketchy.

It's not a motel.

It's a week-to-week rental.

It's like, a

All right, it's a motel.

I fucking hate it.

But, I got scheduled to go a month after my lease ran out.

So, it is what it is.

I feel like some really weird porn

was filmed here in the 1930s.

Why don't you just come stay with me?

Really?

I mean, I aint a connoisseur or nothing,

but I think that's a good cup of espresso.

Why do people drink it like this though?

So your hand won't bust the cup?

Well, I think it's a balance thing.

You really miss her, huh?

I think it's over.

I don't think she loves me anymore.

Well, look.

Life is, it's just a bunch of stories, bro.

I mean, they all end sooner or later.

But the upside is, a new chapter is about to begin.

All right.

Let's bring your shit in.

You're staying with me until you get that paycheck.

I say embrace the fact that being single sucks.

I don't know why lonely is like considered a bad word.

That's why Americans, they equate lonely with being a loser.

I don't know why, we all feel it.

Still, people are ashamed to admit it.

It's like, you can waterboard people,

they'll admit they have herpes before they admit

they feel lonely.

I used to always be single.

Just, I think I forgot how to do it.

Fuck.

What?

I left my backpack at that girl's house.

Why would you take your backpack

in there in the first place?

Bro, I couldn't have walked into her house

with a box of condoms in my hand.

She invited you over there to have sex.

You could've.

Bro, girls are just as slutty as guys,

but they want to pretend they ain't.

So we maintain the illusion.

We keep the condoms in the backpack.

It's common courtesy.

You might want to reconsider this when you're sober.

I'm not that drunk.

Look, all her stuff's in storage.

She's only going to be here for like five weeks.

It's not an inconvenience to me,

but we made a deal.

You were going to focus on you.

I am.

She is a great photographer,

she's lending me some equipment.

It sounds like you're quite enamored with her.

It is not like that.

Hey?

What are you doing out here?

Someone's roommate's upset about something.

You want a cigarette?

Hey, do what you want.

Since she's a photographer too,

maybe she'll teach you how to network or whatever.

She's a lot better than me.

Or maybe she's more talented.

Uh, Stanny left his backpack.

No wonder you wouldn't tell me who it was.

You fucked the Wolverine?

Oh, so what?

Why did he send you?

He got evicted, so he's crashing with me.

Don't tell Christi-Ann.

Why would I tell her?

Why can't she know?

It's a scraggly backpack.

Oh, I'll get it.

Fine, you know what, fine.

I'll just dis invite her, mom.

Oh wow.

You asked me for advice on how to be more independent.

And then when I say that maybe moving another body

into your room is a bad idea, you call me mom.

Thanks.

Saw Shoot outside.

Yeah, isn't she great?

Yeah, sweet girl.

Quit being a dick.

It's a harmless question.

I just asked if you had a boyfriend?

It's not harmless.

Next you're going to make some clumsy attempt

at hitting on me.

You know what, maybe it was an invitation.

Maybe I was just making conversation.

Did you get your gaydar broken in some boating accident?

Okay, that explains why you're so hostile.

Nice.

Projecting your hatred on people

for their sexual preference.

You got tendencies in the closet you want to talk about?

I got nothing against gay people.

I'm just saying, you got what scientists called penis envy.

You wish you had a cock.

Is that what you tell yourself

when girls don't wanna fuck you?

Hey, I've fucked plenty of pretty girls in my life.

I ain't hanging myself if you don't blow me.

Get the fuck out of here.

You know what I think?

Never just been fucked properly by a man.

Dude you know what, you should fuck off.

'Cause now you're starting to piss me off.

I'll give it to him.

Just give them a minute, okay?

I get it, you're upset 'cause I fuck more

hot chicks than you.

No, you can't fuck more hot chicks than me

'cause sticking a rubber cock in them,

that does not count and it's not fucking.

There are other ways that women please themselves.

And maybe if you knew that...

Oh yeah yeah, fingers count.

I wish I knew that in sixth grade.

You know, I fingered Marie Garcietti.

Instead of bragging the whole junior high

how I finger banged her.

Technically, I could have told everyone

that I fucked her. - Not the same...

Oh, so woman fingers count,

but man fingers don't?

Or you got to get the whole fist in?

Summer's waiting for you inside.

Totally cool if you want to stay a while.

Listen, I don't want to put anybody out.

I'll just stay at the motel.

It's fine.

Really.

Okay, cool.

Thanks.

Did I just cock block you?

Hell no.

After being with you, that girl ain't much in comparison.

You need a place to stay tonight?

Oh, now you want me to stay?

You can stay as long as you want,

just don't piss me off.

Hmm, the composition on this is dope.

You shot this?

Yeah.

I've got more in the other room, you want to see?

Good night, everyone.

Okay bro, let's get the hell out of here.

Take my truck, I'll get it tomorrow.

Why do I get the feeling this is going to be more

than a one night deal.

Know what's great about sex with someone new?

Everything.

♪ Lay your head upon me ♪

♪ It's the same ♪

♪ Our little game ♪

♪ That you play until you don't even know ♪

♪ Your name ♪

♪ Baby its a lie ♪

♪ Well I see right through your smokey eyes ♪

♪ Such a sweet disguise ♪

♪ You know it's such a sweet disguise ♪

♪ But it's you ♪

♪ To lay your head upon me ♪

♪ But laying with my enemies now ♪

♪ You can't get out ♪

♪ Just tell the truth ♪

♪ Lay your head upon me ♪

♪ Laying with my enemies now ♪

♪ Oh but you can't get out ♪

♪ And it's a simple kind of game ♪

♪ That leaves you lonely in the end ♪

♪ And it's a simple kind of game ♪

♪ That leaves you lonely in the end ♪

♪ It's the same old little lie ♪

♪ We like to play ♪

♪ For what to dream a circle ♪

♪ For baby it's the lies ♪

♪ I see right through those smokey eyes ♪

♪ Such a sweet disguise ♪

♪ You know ♪

♪ Such a sweet disguise ♪

♪ But it's you ♪

♪ Lay your head upon me ♪

♪ But laying with my enemies now ♪

♪ But you can't get out ♪

♪ Just tell the truth ♪

♪ Lay your head upon me ♪

♪ Laying with my enemies now ♪

♪ Oh but you can't get out ♪

♪ And it's a simple kind of game ♪

♪ That leaves you lonely in the end ♪

♪ Oh can't buy my love ♪

♪ If you are not a friend ♪

♪ And it's a simple kind of game ♪

♪ That leaves you lonely in the end ♪

♪ Oh can't buy my love ♪

♪ If you are not a ♪